Speaker 1: Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex
Speaker 1: and Frooms catch up podcast, Happy Monday, Little Ones, Such
Speaker 1: pleasure to be back. I just want to apologize in
Speaker 1: advance for last week's podcast where I was screaming into
Speaker 1: the microphone. Apparently it's just a noise issue, but I
Speaker 1: tried to listen back. As you know, I listened. I'm
Speaker 1: a you're an avid fans. I'll get like when Spotify
Speaker 1: Rapped comes out, and it'll be like.
Speaker 2: You're top number one fan, top zero point zero one
Speaker 2: percent of all listeners.
Speaker 3: Let's get into the potty.
Speaker 1: Let's do it. Keeter, Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms, FLEXI.
Speaker 1: I want to tell you about a love situationship, a
Speaker 1: bit of an issue that we need to decode. I'm
Speaker 1: going to get straight into it. Thank you, everybody, please listen.
Speaker 1: My work frequently holds industry events where I can have
Speaker 1: a plus one. I brought my partner along and he
Speaker 1: got along very well with my co workers, but started
Speaker 1: revealing super personal things about my sex life, which human
Speaker 1: I uninvited him to the next event and he got
Speaker 1: really mad about it. Should I feel guilty about setting
Speaker 1: boundaries with my partner and my work. May I just say,
Speaker 1: wowses have you listening? Have you ever experienced this? I
Speaker 1: personally haven't.
Speaker 2: It's so tricky though, because I feel like the issue
Speaker 2: with picking a plus one is that you assume they
Speaker 2: understand the context of the event you're inviting them too.
Speaker 2: One can say broadly, it's inappropriate to talk about your
Speaker 2: sex life at work, but at our workplace we pushed
Speaker 2: the boundaries more often than not. But I could imagine
Speaker 2: if I invited a partner to an event that wasn't
Speaker 2: recording live on air and they said something that was
Speaker 2: considered socially inappropriate, I'd be like, yeah, don't do that.
Speaker 1: Be throng hands.
Speaker 2: You don't have permission, you're a work event, you're a
Speaker 2: plus one. Before we even set a boundary, I would
Speaker 2: like to present to you a phenomenon that I have
Speaker 2: noticed within a lot of couples and even friendship relationships,
Speaker 2: the underlying competition. Now, if you find yourself in a
Speaker 2: position with someone who, like in this scenario, is refusing
Speaker 2: to acknowledge the unspoken boundary, I swear they're in competition
Speaker 2: with you, because only someone who's truly in competition with
Speaker 2: you would seek to create a type of you know,
Speaker 2: union where you're not equal, Like you're at a work event.
Speaker 2: You should be presenting as a united front. Say nothing
Speaker 2: if that means you can be a professional plus one.
Speaker 2: But in this instance, there's competition somewhere, and I don't
Speaker 2: know where, but I see it a lot, especially in
Speaker 2: romantic couples. Yeah, I just I think it's messy. Do
Speaker 2: you know what's also really insane?
Speaker 3: Though?
Speaker 2: Having to explain to someone common courtesy. There's no appropriate
Speaker 2: way to have that conversation. Hey, insert person who's meant
Speaker 2: to love me. When you came to my place of
Speaker 2: work and you spoke about our sex life inappropriately to
Speaker 2: my coworkers, that really hurt my feelings. Now you sound insane,
Speaker 2: I guess because to have to explain it, They're like, wait, what, like,
Speaker 2: what do you mean?
Speaker 3: It was funny, it made sense in the context. Everybody laughed,
Speaker 3: nobody cares.
Speaker 1: Relax. Then you feel like a nitpicker, like a Marge Simpson.
Speaker 3: I don't know what that means in this context.
Speaker 1: I'll take your word for it, and not again a
Speaker 1: Simpsons trauma. Look, I'll say I think some people say
Speaker 1: crazy things when they feel socially anxious, not an excuse. However,
Speaker 1: we've seen it time and time again. You're in a
Speaker 1: group of new people, you've got nothing to say, You're
Speaker 1: going to go for the lowest commons and nominated because
Speaker 1: you know you'll get a rise out of people. Ipso facto,
Speaker 1: I'll say, have the conversation. I think what you say
Speaker 1: about common courtesy is important. But I do think people
Speaker 1: were raised in different ways, and for some people being
Speaker 1: crazy and a little bit open with their private life
Speaker 1: was accepted, and other people have decorum.
Speaker 2: What if they say common courtesy isn't that common? I
Speaker 2: mean common sense, isn't that common? Precisely someone says.
Speaker 1: That this is flex and frooms on kit.
Speaker 2: There's a lot we can learn from other cultures. Personally,
Speaker 2: bit tired of learning. I think we've taken a lot
Speaker 2: of information over the course of our lives and we're
Speaker 2: not even done living yet. I'm just concerned about how
Speaker 2: much excess space I have left, especially because as we
Speaker 2: know your subconscious mind, you know, in your brain it
Speaker 2: stores everything you've ever seen, thought, felt, smell, experienced. At
Speaker 2: some point, I'm like, let's just stop, let's pause for
Speaker 2: a second. But how do we feel about sleeping at work,
Speaker 2: yay or nay? Shall we introduce don't say too much.
Speaker 2: Oh she's yawning. She is yawning through me is yawning.
Speaker 2: Because in other cultures that aren't Australian, you can sleep
Speaker 2: at work and it's not frowned upon. Bring that back.
Speaker 2: It's the Japanese art of sleeping at work in a mory.
Speaker 2: It's a very common practice. You might have you been
Speaker 2: to japan paries, you've experienced so you might see the
Speaker 2: salarymen sleeping on the floor, on the train stations, floor,
Speaker 2: at cafes, at cafeterias, and if you've seen this firsthand,
Speaker 2: you'd be very taken aback by it, because it's unusual
Speaker 2: to see someone looking unconscious in real life and everybody
Speaker 2: just walking past like nothing is going wrong. But after
Speaker 2: some research, it's actually not considered to be odd because
Speaker 2: culturally this idea of rest is interwoven in Japanese culture.
Speaker 2: Not rest precisely, but it's almost like a celebration of
Speaker 2: how far you've been able to extend yourself to work,
Speaker 2: that your work ethic is so pristine, it's so premium,
Speaker 2: you're so committed to going the extra mile that you
Speaker 2: would fall asleep randomly in the middle of the day.
Speaker 3: Can I get a hoo rah hoorah?
Speaker 1: The girl boss is a bit different in Japan. Literally, Look,
Speaker 1: I will say that I've heard or seen those, like
Speaker 1: galleries of men who get really drunk in Japan after
Speaker 1: work and then they pass out. Have you seen those?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I wonder if we're getting the too confused. No, are
Speaker 1: they just really good at sinking piss?
Speaker 3: Perhaps? Who knows?
Speaker 2: But I will say though, it is something to consider
Speaker 2: because and I don't want to get into it, but
Speaker 2: I will briefly.
Speaker 3: The industrial revolutions.
Speaker 1: Stay with me, martism one O one.
Speaker 2: The eight hour work day is made for how men's
Speaker 2: bodies function, is it? Okay, We've had a brief conversation
Speaker 2: about this before. The hormonal cycle for men is twenty
Speaker 2: four hours, right, so every day men reset, refresh whatever.
Speaker 2: For women traditionally whatever, it's twenty eight days. You know,
Speaker 2: your whole menstrual cycle. You've got your ovulating period, your
Speaker 2: menstrual period, your police you know. You get what I'm saying, right,
Speaker 2: So this idea that women are excitted to go to
Speaker 2: work and be prepared to function at any given time
Speaker 2: of the day during the month is actually insane because
Speaker 2: for half of the month your body's going through something
Speaker 2: makes that actually like quite impossible. But for men, it's
Speaker 2: a fresh start every day, twenty four hour cycle, Like
Speaker 2: you can get up every morning and do the same
Speaker 2: thing you did yesterday and be at work for eight
Speaker 2: hours because tomorrow you'll be refreshed.
Speaker 1: We need to find a way to incorporate this into
Speaker 1: the work workforce without giving the appearance of women a week.
Speaker 1: There's a lot that needs to be done in order
Speaker 1: for us to actually put this into practice.
Speaker 3: I think very little. Let's just start tomorrow.
Speaker 1: So I won't become an in next week out.
Speaker 3: It's a bad week for me actually ovulating.
Speaker 2: Actually it's a good week when I'm ovulating when I'm menstruating, though,
Speaker 2: bad week.
Speaker 1: Flop era, flop era, damn Kata, flex and frooms.
Speaker 3: You're listening to flex and frooms.
Speaker 1: What the frick?
Speaker 2: We have yet another moral dilemma from my brain to you.
Speaker 2: Imagine this. You have a friend, good friend, close, ish friend.
Speaker 2: Now thankfully for you, this friend is a planner. If
Speaker 2: there's a social event happening that that you know, rallies,
Speaker 2: the girlies, this person is planning it. We're going for drinks.
Speaker 3: I'm going to jeez, we're going to museum.
Speaker 1: Let's shout out to that person. In my experience, they're
Speaker 1: also the person that pays for the bill and then
Speaker 1: you split.
Speaker 2: Wrong wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong wrong, and correlations is not
Speaker 2: equal what causation par So in this particular scenario, this
Speaker 2: friend is the planner. Whatever it's going on between you
Speaker 2: and the girl is. They're planning museum, dates, bars, drinks,
Speaker 2: whatever they're planning. However, like clockwork, every time you get
Speaker 2: to set event, they're always complaining about not having money
Speaker 2: to participate. Oh, the museum's ticketed. Oh you know, I
Speaker 2: don't really, Maybe we should just go somewhere else. Or
Speaker 2: you get to dinner and they're like, you know, I
Speaker 2: just have a drink, Like I don't really, and you're like,
Speaker 2: wait the first time, odd, let me get it. I
Speaker 2: got you. Every single time, you're constantly planning things and
Speaker 2: then just not having money to participate in the things.
Speaker 2: As the friend who's experiencing it, what do you do?
Speaker 1: I think we just need to go back to the
Speaker 1: drawing board. There's nothing worse. Well, no mil goods, I'll say,
Speaker 1: I believe, especially when it comes to dinners, it's about
Speaker 1: breaking bread together, Madeleine, ever seen it the TV show?
Speaker 1: We love our bread, we love our we each love
Speaker 1: each other. Did you like that show? I don't remember
Speaker 1: your little hats on anyway. As Matilda says, the wisdom
Speaker 1: of Matilda is Madeline. Oh, Madeleine, madln We love our bread,
Speaker 1: and we love our butter, but most of all we
Speaker 1: love each other. But we still do love our bread
Speaker 1: and butter. And I think you need to find someone
Speaker 1: where you can all eat together. Can I make a
Speaker 1: suggestion McDonald's get those two for one deals. Get the app.
Speaker 1: My mac is up. No free press now, I will
Speaker 1: say it is annoying when you organize something and then
Speaker 1: there's a complaint about money. I think if you're going
Speaker 1: to be the planner and you're a bit skinned, then
Speaker 1: you need to be planning things that are free. There's
Speaker 1: plenty of free things to do around the city.
Speaker 2: Circling back though, you made a comment that usually the
Speaker 2: planner is the payer. Now, I'm not a planner, but
Speaker 2: I'm a payer. I don't usually see the correlation between
Speaker 2: the planner and the payer. I usually find the planner
Speaker 2: planned and then offsets that responsibility. So what they're creating
Speaker 2: is like a reciprocal environment. I've done the hard yards
Speaker 2: now to confirm that you guys are down pay and
Speaker 2: then someone like, oh I got it, put it on
Speaker 2: my card. Put it on my card. It's an odd situation.
Speaker 2: It happens way more than you think, and I don't
Speaker 2: know what it is. I think perhaps that people don't
Speaker 2: realize how much money does like ostracize you from participating
Speaker 2: in stuff generally. And I think when you're like planning
Speaker 2: a fun and hanging with the girl is like, I'm
Speaker 2: a sick we'll figure it out. And then you get
Speaker 2: to the movies and it's gonna cost you forty bucks
Speaker 2: for a simple ticket and maybe a chocolate bar, and
Speaker 2: then you're out. It's like you got to have Unfortunately
Speaker 2: you got to pay to play.
Speaker 1: No Nando's after the movie for you hunt.
Speaker 2: There's none but what I will say, you're right, there
Speaker 2: are heaps of free events, and what we need to
Speaker 2: be bringing back is like some ingenuity around socializing. It
Speaker 2: can't be costing me an arm and a leg every
Speaker 2: time I want to hang out with a friend, dinner parties,
Speaker 2: bring the food over. You're gonna cook a little something
Speaker 2: something something, you know what. I love sitting in the
Speaker 2: park in summer, little picnic, map picnic.
Speaker 1: Go to Harris Farm, go to the like the free
Speaker 1: not the freeb area, but like the super discounted area.
Speaker 1: Get the camerabert whatever else is there. I will finally say.
Speaker 3: Go to Harris Farm. When you're trying to be mindful
Speaker 3: of you're spending, you lost it.
Speaker 1: I will finally say, seeing as we're twenty four, we're
Speaker 1: not really yet in the wedding territory. That's when things
Speaker 1: are really going to fire up and hid in the hens.
Speaker 1: You're hitting the engagement party, you hit in the barbecue
Speaker 1: after the wedding, Like, I'm not excited for that. Go
Speaker 1: to your luins, get your savings up. Girls.
Speaker 2: Flex and firms, Flex and frames, cater never miss a beat.
Speaker 1: I actually never learned how to read a clock. I
Speaker 1: don't believe you, no, I swear on Earth. I have
Speaker 1: a watch right now, stremely analog couldn't tell you what
Speaker 1: time it is. HM. Takes me a little while. Alas
Speaker 1: I knew deep in my baby brain that we would
Speaker 1: get iPhones. I'm sitting on a swing and being like,
Speaker 1: wouldn't it be amazing to have like a tablet in
Speaker 1: your hand that had the Internet and texting on it.
Speaker 3: You were sitting on a swing, I swear talking about
Speaker 3: the Internet.
Speaker 1: Do you go on a swing thinking one day?
Speaker 2: Great Java, a device that you hold outside of the home.
Speaker 1: No chords required. It's like see a few weeks ago. Well,
Speaker 1: we've been speaking about it for a few weeks. The
Speaker 1: term intrusive thoughts. I just want to clarify, no one's
Speaker 1: no one's messaged me about this. I've just been listening
Speaker 1: back to the episodes as I wont to do when
Speaker 1: I can't sleep. Do you do that?
Speaker 3: Listen back to us when I can't Yeah?
Speaker 1: No, Oh, it's really good because my brain.
Speaker 3: The recommendation.
Speaker 1: I don't know this really good podcast because I listened
Speaker 1: back to what we're talking about, and because I often
Speaker 1: forget I listened to you talk and that I think, oh,
Speaker 1: how would I respond? And it's always what I think
Speaker 1: I'll respond, which is super interesting. That's cool, and I
Speaker 1: think we're very soothing to listen to. I'd say little
Speaker 1: haha before bed, I say this sort of say I've
Speaker 1: been using the term intrusive thoughts, and I want to
Speaker 1: change the script. I need to think of a new
Speaker 1: thing that isn't intrusive thoughts, because in my mind, an
Speaker 1: intrusive thought is aggressive and you don't want it, and
Speaker 1: it's things that are painful, and a lot of the
Speaker 1: bunny quotes, bunny quotations, quotation marks, speaking talking marks.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I always forget.
Speaker 2: And you're the one who's meant to tell me what
Speaker 2: they are, the bunny rabbits, you know the ones.
Speaker 1: The bunny rabbits of me saying intrusive thoughts. This is
Speaker 1: probably actually not the correct term. So the juries out
Speaker 1: and what I'm going to call.
Speaker 3: It, maybe it's like it's an unexpected.
Speaker 1: Thought, a repetitive unexpected thought, a rat. Yeah, I'm having
Speaker 1: a rat.
Speaker 2: Remember I was telling you that I keep using the
Speaker 2: phrase epiphany when I just meet FAI thought, I just
Speaker 2: had a thought.
Speaker 3: It wasn't that big a deal. I feel like my
Speaker 3: repetitive thought.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, let's go on a benign repetitive thought, because
Speaker 1: intrusive sounds rather sinister.
Speaker 3: And also you're.
Speaker 2: Right, like the visceral image that comes up is like aggressive, negative, dangerous, fearful, PTSD, nightmarish,
Speaker 2: and sometimes it's just picturing you, your family, and another
Speaker 2: family having a dance battle.
Speaker 1: So this is another one. I was at an event
Speaker 1: last weekend and I was talking to somebody and you
Speaker 1: know when you're talking to somebody and they like act
Speaker 1: something out, like, for example, they're like, I went to
Speaker 1: get on the bus and I dropped my mighty and
Speaker 1: they would be like, oh, they gesticulate. They gesticulate. Then
Speaker 1: I'll get drawn out of the conversation and for the
Speaker 1: next ten seconds, I just imagine them doing the movement
Speaker 1: over and over again.
Speaker 3: Do you ever do that?
Speaker 2: No? But this is hearing you say these things reminds
Speaker 2: me that I don't think I have a visual picture
Speaker 2: in my mind as clear as you do, because I
Speaker 2: I when I daydream and I imagine things, I speak
Speaker 2: it like I'm recounting it in my head and then
Speaker 2: we went here, and that would be really pretty. But
Speaker 2: you're constantly seeing things sick.
Speaker 3: I can see how that would be really distracting.
Speaker 1: It's very disturbing. Actually, I'm just imagining that I'm doing
Speaker 1: it again again.
Speaker 3: Like a sim And then how do you stub back in?
Speaker 1: I just like get back into it.
Speaker 3: And you're a quirky girl. Anyway, Everyone's like you're a
Speaker 3: little yeah away with.
Speaker 1: The fairies today. FAM Mission twenty twenty three. Stop being
Speaker 1: quirky and stop using the term course watch this space.
Speaker 1: Ret repetitive, unexpected, unexpected run, unexpected rut. I'm having a
Speaker 1: rut in my right era.
Speaker 3: We can workshop that.
Speaker 1: Okay. You've been listening to the Flex and Frooms Daily podcast.
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