WEBVTT - My 4 biggest lessons since turning 28 💅🏼 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.160 I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:06.480 land on which this episode is being recorded, the Kombo 0:00:06.680 --> 0:00:10.520 Marry people. We pay our respects to elders past, present 0:00:10.600 --> 0:00:14.319 and emerging and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and 0:00:14.360 --> 0:00:22.680 Torres Strait Islander peoples. Today I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson, 0:00:22.800 --> 0:00:30.240 and this is the Rise and Conquer Podcast. This is 0:00:30.280 --> 0:00:33.800 the podcast where we chat mindset, self development and becoming 0:00:33.960 --> 0:00:37.159 your higher self mix soon with a lot of laughs, 0:00:37.280 --> 0:00:40.360 plus behind the scenes of my life running two businesses 0:00:40.440 --> 0:00:43.839 and being among Think of us as the perfect combo 0:00:43.960 --> 0:00:47.479 of brunch with your besties mixed with self development. No 0:00:47.560 --> 0:00:49.879 matter where you are in your journey, We're here to 0:00:49.920 --> 0:00:53.840 help you be curious, pull yourself out, and embrace radical 0:00:53.960 --> 0:00:58.440 self awareness. If you're ready to get into the driver's 0:00:58.480 --> 0:01:01.280 seat of your own life and stop letting live cast 0:01:01.360 --> 0:01:13.600 you by then you're in the right place. Hi guys, 0:01:13.840 --> 0:01:17.000 welcome back to the R and C Potty. We have 0:01:17.120 --> 0:01:20.800 a special episode for you today. So when this episode 0:01:20.880 --> 0:01:23.200 goes live, it will be a couple of days before 0:01:23.440 --> 0:01:28.440 my birthday. I am turning twenty nine. Cannot wait. I 0:01:28.480 --> 0:01:35.679 love birthdays and it is Leah sleevelerm it's my birthday month, 0:01:35.920 --> 0:01:41.240 and so we did an episode all about my biggest 0:01:41.319 --> 0:01:45.960 lessons of this birthday year. So I go into four 0:01:46.040 --> 0:01:51.720 lessons and they're very introspective, aren't they? It, Tia, But 0:01:51.840 --> 0:01:56.160 I loved all four lessons. You're getting a huge insight 0:01:56.280 --> 0:02:00.280 into my year. I am very vulnerable with you, so 0:02:00.960 --> 0:02:04.240 please be nice and yeah, I won't say too much 0:02:04.240 --> 0:02:06.760 because look, you're about to hear about it exactly a tear. 0:02:07.000 --> 0:02:10.200 Should we do some recommendations? Yes? Do you want to 0:02:10.200 --> 0:02:14.480 go first? All right? So I told a tier I'm 0:02:14.480 --> 0:02:16.280 going first because I thought we'd have the same one, 0:02:16.280 --> 0:02:19.040 but we don't. On the weekend. I think it was 0:02:19.080 --> 0:02:19.600 on Friday. 0:02:19.720 --> 0:02:19.919 Yeah. 0:02:20.160 --> 0:02:23.480 So, so the second season of the summery term pretty 0:02:23.720 --> 0:02:26.679 came out only three episodes. Were a bit sad about. 0:02:26.480 --> 0:02:29.160 That, and I think it's kind of a good lesson 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:31.080 though to like, Wait, nothing small. 0:02:31.280 --> 0:02:33.880 I know. I literally be just been one night. Me too, 0:02:36.040 --> 0:02:39.440 and I loved season one, me too. I also have 0:02:39.480 --> 0:02:43.240 another recommendation, what so rogue? I started watching The Witcher. 0:02:44.120 --> 0:02:47.040 Oh do you like it? I'm not sure? I watched 0:02:47.040 --> 0:02:53.080 the whole first season though, Oh, I don't like medieval times. Yeah, 0:02:53.120 --> 0:02:58.040 Medieval's really dark. Yeah, but also I love anything that's 0:02:58.120 --> 0:03:01.880 magical or like mystical, and it's very mystical, and so 0:03:01.919 --> 0:03:03.800 I'm not too sure how I feel about it. So 0:03:03.880 --> 0:03:09.480 it's like not a full recommendation, but it's like seventy percent. Yeah, 0:03:09.680 --> 0:03:15.040 I'm also confused, Like literally was watching the whole first 0:03:15.040 --> 0:03:18.160 season thinking, and I started watching it when I was sick, 0:03:18.800 --> 0:03:20.840 so it was kind of like I fell asleep half 0:03:20.880 --> 0:03:24.359 the time and it was like so super rogue. I 0:03:24.440 --> 0:03:27.359 kinda like it, but also it's like not a full recommendation. 0:03:28.200 --> 0:03:34.200 What's Yours Mine is a podcast episode. It's the On 0:03:34.280 --> 0:03:38.200 Purpose with Ja Shetty and he interviews Tom Holland, and 0:03:38.720 --> 0:03:41.960 it is such a beautiful interview. It's literally two hours, 0:03:41.960 --> 0:03:43.600 so it is a bit of a long one, but 0:03:44.520 --> 0:03:48.360 it was just so interesting because I've listened to a 0:03:48.440 --> 0:03:51.640 few of Ja Schetty's interviews before. But what I loved 0:03:51.680 --> 0:03:54.320 particularly was Tom Holland asked Jay Shetty a lot of 0:03:54.400 --> 0:03:56.920 questions too, so I heard stuff from Jay Schetty I 0:03:56.920 --> 0:03:59.480 haven't really heard before. I love when they do that. 0:03:59.720 --> 0:04:03.840 Yeah, and then Tom Holland also spoke about his journey 0:04:03.840 --> 0:04:07.360 going sober, which I found really interesting to listen to 0:04:07.600 --> 0:04:09.720 and his reasonings and how he did it and why 0:04:09.760 --> 0:04:13.560 he did it. He told himself he just would do 0:04:13.680 --> 0:04:16.920 dry January as a challenge because he drank a lot 0:04:17.040 --> 0:04:22.400 over November December, and then he found every minute he 0:04:22.640 --> 0:04:25.800 was just thinking about having a drink every day in January, 0:04:25.839 --> 0:04:27.880 and that was end of January. He was like, nap, 0:04:28.000 --> 0:04:30.160 this doesn't count. Even though he didn't have a drink. 0:04:30.200 --> 0:04:32.119 He was like, I was thinking about alcohol the whole time, 0:04:32.600 --> 0:04:34.159 so I'm going to do it again. And then he 0:04:34.240 --> 0:04:35.960 just kept doing it and doing it and doing it 0:04:36.080 --> 0:04:39.200 until he wasn't thinking about having a drink. And then 0:04:39.240 --> 0:04:42.800 he realized how much happier he was and how much 0:04:42.839 --> 0:04:46.200 his life had changed and his relationships had changed because 0:04:46.200 --> 0:04:50.039 he'd stopped drinking, and it was like a gradual decision. 0:04:50.400 --> 0:04:53.279 Oh my god, that's amazing. It was so interesting to 0:04:53.320 --> 0:04:57.039 listen to. What a good recommendation, Yeah, so much, You're 0:04:57.680 --> 0:05:09.720 all right, let's get it in his zeps. So I 0:05:09.760 --> 0:05:14.599 want to paint you a picture of my twenty eighth birthday, 0:05:15.279 --> 0:05:18.159 So this time last year, and the only reason I 0:05:18.240 --> 0:05:20.840 literally had to like scroll through my Instagram That's how 0:05:20.839 --> 0:05:24.880 I gauge time, Like, wasn't it Alli All? Yeah? I 0:05:25.080 --> 0:05:26.960 was I thinking you're doing at that time because I 0:05:27.000 --> 0:05:31.960 post so consistently. I was like, I had just shot 0:05:32.760 --> 0:05:38.480 and posted all my LSKD content for my range, So 0:05:38.520 --> 0:05:41.800 this was like this time last year. Gosh, that feels 0:05:41.880 --> 0:05:46.280 long ago, but also yesterday. It honestly feels like three 0:05:46.360 --> 0:05:51.040 years ago. And so I also had just done my colab, 0:05:51.200 --> 0:05:55.039 my second co lab with Pedal and Pup, and that 0:05:55.240 --> 0:05:57.520 was like a couple of months prior. And then I 0:05:57.600 --> 0:06:00.640 was doing my co lab with LSKD and you know 0:06:00.760 --> 0:06:03.919 in the shots, Ivy is probably about six months old 0:06:04.400 --> 0:06:09.880 or like Juste and we also were like about to 0:06:09.920 --> 0:06:14.359 go to Fiji. Hadn't you been to Fiji? Yeah? Sorry, no, 0:06:14.480 --> 0:06:18.080 we yeah, we had also just been to Fiji. I'm 0:06:18.120 --> 0:06:21.120 just trying to gauge you know, wow, roughly around that 0:06:21.880 --> 0:06:24.760 so feels like a lifetime ago, but that was only 0:06:24.760 --> 0:06:28.520 a year ago, guys. And for me, I it was 0:06:28.560 --> 0:06:32.440 such a cool exercise because I was like, Wow, I'm 0:06:32.480 --> 0:06:37.440 a totally different person. You are like totally different, And 0:06:38.200 --> 0:06:42.440 those feelings I had at that moment were I really 0:06:42.480 --> 0:06:48.520 remember them because I personally was feeling overstretched. I and 0:06:48.560 --> 0:06:51.039 I'm very honest about this at the end of twenty 0:06:51.080 --> 0:06:55.120 twenty two of being like I was overstretched and I 0:06:55.160 --> 0:06:58.080 said yes to way too many things, and I felt 0:06:58.120 --> 0:07:04.160 overwhelmed majority of year. And so my last birthday I 0:07:04.240 --> 0:07:07.760 remember is feeling so overwhelmed. And what we actually did 0:07:07.839 --> 0:07:10.280 on my birthday was we went to Byron and we 0:07:10.320 --> 0:07:13.400 just spent the day with Ivy so sweet. It was 0:07:13.440 --> 0:07:16.400 so sweet, And it was just because I was feeling 0:07:16.960 --> 0:07:20.960 so tapped and really overwhelmed. 0:07:22.120 --> 0:07:25.520 And do you think that was just because of work 0:07:26.120 --> 0:07:28.360 or were there some other things you might have been 0:07:28.400 --> 0:07:29.120 harboring that. 0:07:31.080 --> 0:07:35.920 Caused this feeling cooled out a tea? Can't just call 0:07:35.960 --> 0:07:39.480 me out this whole episode of No one hundred percent. 0:07:39.920 --> 0:07:44.239 I was really struggling with being a new mum and working, 0:07:44.800 --> 0:07:49.560 really really struggling. I was holding on to a lot 0:07:49.600 --> 0:07:55.080 of guilt. I was also I remember my birthday last year. 0:07:55.640 --> 0:08:01.800 I remember feeling just really confused us also like really, 0:08:02.000 --> 0:08:05.280 I don't know what the fuck is happening or what's 0:08:05.320 --> 0:08:09.600 what's what? And yeah, look not in like in saying that, though, 0:08:10.320 --> 0:08:12.480 I remember kind of just being like I just got 0:08:12.480 --> 0:08:16.000 to get through this year. That was kind of the vibe. Yeah, 0:08:16.080 --> 0:08:18.960 I just got to get through this year really and 0:08:19.040 --> 0:08:22.120 like it was fine, but it was the vibe you 0:08:22.120 --> 0:08:24.080 want to be in there. No, it was like I 0:08:24.120 --> 0:08:27.400 was having so many realizations, so many lessons, and so 0:08:27.520 --> 0:08:30.040 many like, oh, I never want to feel like this again, 0:08:30.120 --> 0:08:32.160 but I'm going to get through this because I have to. 0:08:33.520 --> 0:08:36.000 That was kind of the vibe of my last birthday 0:08:36.360 --> 0:08:41.760 A rewind. So I when I was doing this reflection, 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:44.000 I actually journaled on this last night a tia to 0:08:44.080 --> 0:08:46.200 prep for this episode. I love that I got some 0:08:46.240 --> 0:08:49.400 little notes here and I think, like my one of 0:08:49.440 --> 0:08:53.160 my biggest lessons, I came down to four. So the 0:08:53.200 --> 0:08:57.840 first one is more is not always better. I love 0:08:57.920 --> 0:09:02.520 that lesson. So she really I think previous years, up 0:09:02.600 --> 0:09:07.560 until I was twenty eight, it felt like I just 0:09:07.720 --> 0:09:12.520 had unlimited capacity, like I would just take on so much. 0:09:12.640 --> 0:09:15.840 I would say yes to every opportunity, and I really 0:09:15.960 --> 0:09:18.679 saw that as my superpower, Like it's literally in my 0:09:18.800 --> 0:09:23.280 human design that I can have so lots of information, 0:09:23.559 --> 0:09:25.920 a lot of different channels and I can thrive on that. 0:09:26.520 --> 0:09:30.200 And so I use that to my advantage for years, 0:09:30.240 --> 0:09:33.760 because any opportunity take it, run with it, do amazing 0:09:33.800 --> 0:09:35.600 with it onto the next. 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:38.679 And when you did that in the previous years before 0:09:39.160 --> 0:09:42.480 last year, did you feel good, like where you lit 0:09:42.559 --> 0:09:44.360 up by it most of the time. 0:09:44.600 --> 0:09:47.080 Yeah, there was definitely moments where I felt, you know, 0:09:47.320 --> 0:09:50.320 stressed and overdone. But then I would just you know, 0:09:50.520 --> 0:09:54.080 have a holiday, or I would like I have some time, 0:09:54.320 --> 0:09:55.920 or you know, I didn't have a child, so I 0:09:56.080 --> 0:09:59.360 just like spend the weekend being a potato. Yeah, And 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:03.280 that was That's how I lived my life, and I 0:10:03.480 --> 0:10:06.679 just like, I think also, you know, that's how I 0:10:06.760 --> 0:10:09.480 was able to do so much over the years, and 0:10:09.600 --> 0:10:13.680 I really like more was always better for me. Yeah, 0:10:13.679 --> 0:10:17.000 and I really embraced that. And then for the first time, 0:10:17.080 --> 0:10:19.880 obviously having Ivy and then having all these projects and 0:10:19.960 --> 0:10:24.640 just realizing that more is not always better. I realized 0:10:24.640 --> 0:10:26.960 that I had to have a huge shift in my 0:10:27.040 --> 0:10:33.920 life and I really started strengthening my boundaries for probably 0:10:33.960 --> 0:10:37.600 the first time in my life. Interesting. Yeah, Like, obviously 0:10:37.679 --> 0:10:41.440 I've had evolutions over time, but I think in the 0:10:41.520 --> 0:10:45.839 last twelve months it has been the biggest, like the 0:10:45.880 --> 0:10:49.440 biggest change has me been so strong in my boundaries 0:10:49.840 --> 0:10:53.199 And that was kind of my intention going into this 0:10:53.240 --> 0:10:56.360 new year, which I you know, I told you a tier. Yeah, 0:10:56.400 --> 0:10:59.720 And if anything, it's like less is more, that's my 0:10:59.760 --> 0:11:04.360 new less there's more and I'm so intentional. And if 0:11:04.400 --> 0:11:06.240 it's not a hell, yes, it's no. 0:11:06.880 --> 0:11:09.679 And what made you feel like your boundaries prior to 0:11:09.720 --> 0:11:12.240 this weren't strong or ever strengthened. 0:11:13.160 --> 0:11:17.400 Well, it's interesting because I thought they were. Yeah, I 0:11:17.440 --> 0:11:20.959 would have said they were probably pretty good. Yeah, but 0:11:21.000 --> 0:11:25.080 it's they were strong in the way of I knew 0:11:25.080 --> 0:11:28.480 what I wanted and I knew who I was, but 0:11:29.120 --> 0:11:34.720 not strong in the they were very influenced by outside 0:11:34.840 --> 0:11:38.800 sources and very much like what I was saying, like 0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:43.120 if I had an opportunity, it wouldn't matter how I 0:11:43.160 --> 0:11:46.480 necessarily felt or if I was stressed. It's like, of course, 0:11:46.520 --> 0:11:51.080 I will do it right. So almost people pleasing, yes, 0:11:51.600 --> 0:11:56.800 and almost people pleasing to my future self yes, you know, 0:11:56.920 --> 0:11:59.040 like it's like to other people, but also to my 0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:02.320 future self because it's like I was so happy to 0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:06.880 go through discipline in the moment and like not enjoying 0:12:06.920 --> 0:12:12.280 the moment for a future reward. Reward, fuck, I could 0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:14.320 do that twenty four seven. Yeah, it was like one 0:12:14.360 --> 0:12:17.360 of my greatest skills, and it's something I learned during 0:12:17.400 --> 0:12:19.960 my law degree. Yeah, and then it continued on in 0:12:20.000 --> 0:12:22.600 my career and I really strengthened that because I saw 0:12:22.600 --> 0:12:26.720 that other people couldn't do it right in the industry. 0:12:26.840 --> 0:12:31.679 And it's really interesting. I'm only now kind of processing this. Yeah, 0:12:31.720 --> 0:12:36.120 and so in that avenue, my boundaries release. And I 0:12:36.160 --> 0:12:39.040 think also, you know, when you have a small business, 0:12:39.120 --> 0:12:43.240 when you're an influencer, when you're your own boss, you know, 0:12:43.280 --> 0:12:47.319 you can kind of be in a scarcity mindset where 0:12:47.320 --> 0:12:49.520 you're like, oh, I don't want to lose traction, I 0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:53.120 don't want to fall behind, I don't want to be forgotten, 0:12:53.400 --> 0:12:56.560 or you know, like these weird limiting beliefs come up 0:12:56.640 --> 0:13:00.840 that can often make you make certain choices. And it's 0:13:00.960 --> 0:13:04.720 really interesting because since I just went no, no more, 0:13:05.080 --> 0:13:10.840 like strong boundaries, I'm going to completely honor myself and 0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:14.320 my family and I'm not going to fall into the 0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:17.080 trap of more and more and more. I'm actually going 0:13:17.160 --> 0:13:20.680 to strip things back. But it's so interesting since I've 0:13:20.720 --> 0:13:25.560 done that, like so many areas have been more strengthened. 0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:29.040 Like as in like businesses working better and that sort 0:13:29.040 --> 0:13:29.520 of stuff. 0:13:29.640 --> 0:13:35.760 Relationships, business, like so many things that I'm like, wow, 0:13:35.880 --> 0:13:38.240 oh wow, I probably could have liked didn't I do this? Yeah, 0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:40.240 like I said, I could have done this years ago, 0:13:40.559 --> 0:13:43.120 and being Okay, well, actually I don't know that because 0:13:43.160 --> 0:13:45.760 you never know, this could be a very specific point 0:13:45.840 --> 0:13:49.160 in my career or in you know, my heart. Yeah, 0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:54.120 but that's probably my biggest lesson of being so intentional 0:13:54.600 --> 0:13:57.320 and just being like, actually, no, I don't have to 0:13:57.320 --> 0:13:59.480 do it all. I don't have to say yes to everything, 0:14:00.360 --> 0:14:03.600 and that actually gets to work really well for me. 0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:06.120 It's like I locked in a new core belief. 0:14:07.040 --> 0:14:13.400 Wow, And when would you say you really strengthened those boundaries? 0:14:13.880 --> 0:14:17.560 And then how long did it take to realize like 0:14:17.960 --> 0:14:19.080 how well it was going. 0:14:19.280 --> 0:14:21.480 I definitely started at the start of the year where 0:14:21.880 --> 0:14:24.080 we did do a few future self and I like 0:14:24.120 --> 0:14:27.080 had the realizations that I had really taken on too 0:14:27.120 --> 0:14:30.000 much and I was really presenting certain things. And then 0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:32.360 so what are we, like, you know, nearly eight months 0:14:32.360 --> 0:14:34.840 into the year. Yeah, so it's taken a good eight months. 0:14:34.920 --> 0:14:37.560 Probably around six months I looked back and I was like, 0:14:38.040 --> 0:14:40.160 holy shit, I've actually really stuck to this and it 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:42.720 feels really good. And for the first time, I feel 0:14:42.720 --> 0:14:46.600 like I feel really good compared to how I felt. 0:14:46.920 --> 0:14:50.640 And which I know this might be hard to like 0:14:50.760 --> 0:14:55.200 pick one which boundary that you put in do you 0:14:55.280 --> 0:14:56.720 think made the biggest difference. 0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:02.760 It's like it's all to do with IVY. Yeah, So 0:15:03.280 --> 0:15:06.440 like the biggest thing is The biggest thing I ask 0:15:06.520 --> 0:15:09.840 myself is like if I say yes to this, will 0:15:09.880 --> 0:15:13.360 this take time away that I have with IVY. So 0:15:13.440 --> 0:15:15.440 that's sort of the phrase you use to yourself to 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:18.720 like help you Yeah, Or if I say yes yes 0:15:18.760 --> 0:15:21.760 to this, will that take time away from my NH 0:15:21.840 --> 0:15:24.760 team yeah, or my RNC team or like y, you know, 0:15:24.800 --> 0:15:27.960 where are the lines? Where are the boundaries? And also 0:15:28.800 --> 0:15:31.160 it's really interesting I don't know if this is going 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:36.720 to make sense, but being okay with giving just a 0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:41.080 certain amount so rather than giving it all all the time, 0:15:41.120 --> 0:15:44.360 which is what I previously had done because it felt like, well, 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:46.800 if I want it all, I have to give it all, 0:15:47.280 --> 0:15:49.600 whereas now I'm like, no, actually I don't have to 0:15:49.600 --> 0:15:51.200 give it all, and I get to have it all. 0:15:51.920 --> 0:15:56.040 Like I it's huge like mind switch where I'm like, no, 0:15:56.320 --> 0:16:01.120 I actually don't have to give it all and I 0:16:01.160 --> 0:16:02.320 don't know if that makes sense. 0:16:02.480 --> 0:16:04.880 No, like it makes sense, but I don't know if 0:16:04.920 --> 0:16:08.720 I agree how. 0:16:09.000 --> 0:16:11.560 Or like not that I don't agree. I would love 0:16:11.640 --> 0:16:14.080 to think that way. I think it's at a very 0:16:14.160 --> 0:16:17.760 specific point. Yeah. I think previously I did have to 0:16:17.760 --> 0:16:20.880 give it all, and obviously that has shown so much. Yeah, 0:16:20.920 --> 0:16:25.280 but I think there's even a certain point where I'm 0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:28.880 gonna give you a really good example. Yeah. So recently 0:16:29.160 --> 0:16:33.760 we did a collab product with Elite Supplements. Oh yes, 0:16:33.920 --> 0:16:37.520 and so we launched an exclusive flavor with them, watermelon. 0:16:37.640 --> 0:16:41.040 It's really yummy, so yummy. And on the weekend I 0:16:41.080 --> 0:16:44.640 did like an appearance and that was locked in literally 0:16:45.080 --> 0:16:49.040 at the start of actually at the end of last year. 0:16:49.080 --> 0:16:52.280 That was confirmed. Locked in, I do an appearance. You know, 0:16:52.360 --> 0:16:54.920 there was a certain collateral we did together, and that 0:16:55.040 --> 0:16:57.120 was all, you know, locked in and all good. So 0:16:57.160 --> 0:16:58.960 it's just a Saturday. It was a couple of hours. 0:16:58.960 --> 0:17:02.080 It was fine, but it was really interesting because I 0:17:02.120 --> 0:17:06.720 said to Cooper after, oh, I probably won't do everything. 0:17:06.960 --> 0:17:11.959 I probably won't do anything like that again. Interesting, like 0:17:12.080 --> 0:17:14.520 just in the not not do a collad product. Yes, 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:17.359 you know, we lovely that nothing against them or anything, 0:17:17.560 --> 0:17:19.760 but just like, oh, I actually feel like I'm not 0:17:20.520 --> 0:17:23.439 I'm not available for this anymore. The appearance kind of 0:17:23.840 --> 0:17:27.360 what a Saturday when I would usually be with my daughter. Yeah, 0:17:27.400 --> 0:17:30.320 and it just it felt very like, matter of a fact, 0:17:30.440 --> 0:17:35.120 I had found a new boundary and also kind of 0:17:35.200 --> 0:17:39.600 like it was you know, it's literally it's the first 0:17:39.600 --> 0:17:41.520 one I've done this year. Yeah, I think it's got 0:17:41.520 --> 0:17:44.159 to be one of the last ones. So it really 0:17:44.280 --> 0:17:46.480 was fine, and I really felt good doing it. I 0:17:46.480 --> 0:17:48.840 didn't feel resentful or anything like that. Yeah, but it 0:17:48.880 --> 0:17:52.560 felt like a very good knowing. Oh, I don't this 0:17:52.640 --> 0:17:53.840 probably won't happen again. 0:17:54.000 --> 0:17:56.919 It's kind of like a beige flag makes she stopped 0:17:57.000 --> 0:17:59.600 to look. But it's not a red flag yet. 0:17:59.760 --> 0:18:02.840 No, not a replag at all. But it's so interesting 0:18:03.320 --> 0:18:08.680 because I think I've never been able to feel that. Previously, 0:18:08.960 --> 0:18:13.520 I had no awareness around my capacity or my boundaries. 0:18:13.920 --> 0:18:16.640 And it's really interesting because I straight away I even 0:18:16.640 --> 0:18:18.600 said to Cooper on Monday, I was like, it was 0:18:18.680 --> 0:18:21.160 really good. I met so many people, it was amazing. 0:18:21.480 --> 0:18:24.960 I don't think I'll do that again, though, and he went, cool, 0:18:25.080 --> 0:18:28.200 that's good to know. That's the wild do you hear me? 0:18:28.440 --> 0:18:32.440 Ye's like a next stage in my evolution. And even 0:18:32.480 --> 0:18:35.199 for me to be like, don't get me wrong, you know, 0:18:35.440 --> 0:18:38.520 I would love we want to do further community events 0:18:38.560 --> 0:18:42.320 and RNC and H. That's very different than appearance for 0:18:42.359 --> 0:18:46.920 another company, but you know, and I can that's different. Yeah, 0:18:47.040 --> 0:18:50.160 But for that certain thing, I just was like, this 0:18:50.240 --> 0:18:52.240 is a new boundary and I'm actually going to honor 0:18:52.280 --> 0:18:56.160 it and listen to it. Was previously I never would 0:18:56.200 --> 0:18:58.040 have even had that signal. 0:18:58.359 --> 0:19:03.800 Yeah. It's almost like I feel like for me, I 0:19:03.880 --> 0:19:07.679 will only realize, oh, boundary's been crossed when I'm like 0:19:07.840 --> 0:19:08.720 having a breakdown. 0:19:08.880 --> 0:19:11.159 Yeah, like a red flag. Yeah, and like that's what 0:19:11.200 --> 0:19:13.120 I've done. That's what I did all last year. 0:19:13.240 --> 0:19:16.960 Yeah. And what do you feel made the difference in 0:19:17.080 --> 0:19:20.920 being able to recognize the almost like Bayse flag of like, oh, 0:19:20.960 --> 0:19:23.280 like if I did this a few more times, it 0:19:23.320 --> 0:19:27.040 probably wouldn't end well. Yeah, without doing it the few 0:19:27.040 --> 0:19:28.080 more times, Well. 0:19:27.920 --> 0:19:30.720 I think I had to have all the red flags 0:19:30.800 --> 0:19:33.960 last year and going through all the resentment last year 0:19:33.960 --> 0:19:36.720 and all those feelings. But this year, I think the 0:19:36.800 --> 0:19:39.520 reason that I've been able to have awareness about it 0:19:39.560 --> 0:19:43.960 is I just have space, Like I've just created so 0:19:44.119 --> 0:19:47.320 much more space in my life, yet I still do 0:19:47.520 --> 0:19:49.919 all the things I want to do. Yeah, that is 0:19:49.960 --> 0:19:52.920 the biggest difference between my last birthday and this birthday 0:19:53.440 --> 0:19:57.400 is I have so much space for awareness, so much 0:19:57.480 --> 0:20:01.720 space mentally to unders stand what I want in life, 0:20:02.040 --> 0:20:05.720 what is important for me in life, and what is 0:20:05.760 --> 0:20:09.240 important to the people around me, that I'm just able 0:20:09.280 --> 0:20:12.560 to make better decisions. And it's really interesting. I had 0:20:12.680 --> 0:20:16.600 actually another great boundary example where I was supposed to 0:20:16.600 --> 0:20:19.800 meet up with a girlfriend and you know, she was 0:20:20.000 --> 0:20:22.359 into state traveling, so we don't get to see each 0:20:22.359 --> 0:20:25.080 other very often, and she was here into stay. Yeah, 0:20:25.640 --> 0:20:28.400 and you know, we had arranged to actually did see 0:20:28.440 --> 0:20:30.040 her during the week and then we had arranged again 0:20:30.040 --> 0:20:31.920 to see each other on the weekend, and it was 0:20:31.960 --> 0:20:34.359 getting to that time, and you know, we have to 0:20:34.560 --> 0:20:39.720 bring Ivy and I just I noticed like this niggling 0:20:39.800 --> 0:20:43.280 feeling and it was really close to the time, but 0:20:43.359 --> 0:20:46.160 I just text her and I just said, you know what, babe, 0:20:46.160 --> 0:20:48.600 I'm just like, I'm so sorry, but I just this 0:20:48.680 --> 0:20:50.720 really doesn't feel good. I really just want to spend 0:20:50.800 --> 0:20:54.399 the afternoon with Ivy. And I apologize for you know, 0:20:54.520 --> 0:20:57.240 the late the lateness, but I just I really need 0:20:57.280 --> 0:20:59.760 to honor this for myself. And she was so fine. Yeah, 0:21:00.040 --> 0:21:02.359 you know, I had seen her, but again that was 0:21:02.440 --> 0:21:05.359 like previously I would have just gone and just got 0:21:05.480 --> 0:21:07.320 over and done with you know that, I feel like 0:21:07.400 --> 0:21:10.919 most people. Yeah, and then you please that person, you 0:21:10.920 --> 0:21:13.639 saw that person, you ticked it off the list. Yeah, 0:21:13.680 --> 0:21:16.520 And so I didn't go, and me and Ivy we 0:21:16.560 --> 0:21:18.679 opened up some new toys that I got her, and 0:21:18.720 --> 0:21:22.159 then we had a bath together, and then we watched 0:21:22.200 --> 0:21:24.280 I think a Disney movie and it was just the 0:21:24.280 --> 0:21:29.720 best afternoon. And I really had the reflection of like, Wow, 0:21:29.760 --> 0:21:32.760 I've actually come such a long way in my awareness 0:21:32.800 --> 0:21:34.920 and my boundaries and it felt really good. 0:21:35.400 --> 0:21:39.080 And do you think that, like, for example, say you 0:21:39.160 --> 0:21:41.640 had had that feeling and you hadn't seen her in. 0:21:41.600 --> 0:21:44.440 The middle of the week, what would you have done 0:21:44.680 --> 0:21:45.280 the same thing? 0:21:46.440 --> 0:21:50.119 Well? Or do you think like you kind of felt 0:21:50.160 --> 0:21:52.359 that feeling because you'd already seen her and this was 0:21:52.400 --> 0:21:53.400 like twice now. 0:21:53.920 --> 0:21:56.560 No, I think no, I think it would have been 0:21:56.880 --> 0:22:00.320 I would have done the exact same thing. Wow, because 0:22:00.359 --> 0:22:04.720 I I did that another time. I did that another 0:22:04.760 --> 0:22:07.840 time the other day. But do you know me, I'm 0:22:07.920 --> 0:22:10.280 just a strong boundary. 0:22:10.480 --> 0:22:10.720 Yeah. 0:22:10.760 --> 0:22:12.960 And if this person is gonna, you know, get angry 0:22:13.000 --> 0:22:16.960 and stuff, it's like they also need to respect how 0:22:17.000 --> 0:22:19.440 I'm feeling. And yeah, I truly believe a true friend, 0:22:19.600 --> 0:22:23.280 like they're not going to be like fuck you. Yeah, 0:22:23.280 --> 0:22:25.679 so I don't know that and that's and I but 0:22:25.800 --> 0:22:28.800 I notice I could notice the side of myself that 0:22:29.000 --> 0:22:32.200 just wanted to please and just tick it off the box. Yeah, 0:22:32.240 --> 0:22:34.879 And I had to really have awareness. But again, that 0:22:34.960 --> 0:22:39.200 awareness has come through a lot of saying, like I've 0:22:39.240 --> 0:22:41.000 said no a lot of times this year. 0:22:41.600 --> 0:22:44.240 I was gonna ask about that. So you feel like 0:22:44.320 --> 0:22:45.240 you've been saying. 0:22:45.000 --> 0:22:48.160 No a lot a lot, and I think, like you'll 0:22:48.240 --> 0:22:51.120 even I think a lot of my close friends would 0:22:51.160 --> 0:22:55.800 be like, yeah, I haven't seen her, oh, but like 0:22:56.480 --> 0:22:58.679 I still love them. Yeah, And I still have so 0:22:58.760 --> 0:23:02.480 many beautiful friendships. But like this year, it's almost like 0:23:02.800 --> 0:23:05.879 I felt so burnt out from last year. It almost 0:23:05.960 --> 0:23:09.840 like it had to be this really hard no and 0:23:09.880 --> 0:23:12.880 this really hard like no, I need to put these 0:23:12.920 --> 0:23:16.359 boundaries in. And that kind of leads into my second lesson. 0:23:16.960 --> 0:23:20.480 And that's just since I have put these boundaries in, 0:23:20.560 --> 0:23:24.480 and since I have been super intentional with my time 0:23:25.040 --> 0:23:30.840 and my priority and I don't experience mum guilt like 0:23:30.920 --> 0:23:33.480