Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, welcome back to the Mason Cox Show. Now
Speaker 1: today we have an amazing guest. He's got a plenty
Speaker 1: of backdrop. He's gonna design and art at the Gordon
Speaker 1: Institute of TAFE. That is probably not what he's known for,
Speaker 1: but i'll start that off the top. And two and
Speaker 1: five two thousand and five, he was searched for Funny
Speaker 1: Bone winner two thousand and seven Melbourne International International Comedy
Speaker 1: Festival Best Newcomer, Appear on Row, which I feel like
Speaker 1: everyone does nowadays. He does the project, he's in TV
Speaker 1: radio comedy and you probably recognize his voice as the
Speaker 1: HbF Quaker. At the moment, he is the great man,
Speaker 1: Dave Thornton. I want to say it massive, thank you
Speaker 1: for coming on mate, nice, It's good to be here.
Speaker 2: And I just realized the dog's breakfast of a career
Speaker 2: that I have lined up this whole way through, even
Speaker 2: as he went then on. Yeah, I did all of
Speaker 2: those things and somehow I feel really disappointed. I'd like
Speaker 2: to give.
Speaker 1: People a bit of an idea of something you've done different. Yeah, thanks,
Speaker 1: you know there's everyone knows you're the comedic genius. Everyone
Speaker 1: knows you love your stand up and you're great impersonations
Speaker 1: and everything else. But I like to really like people
Speaker 1: now and give people a bit of an idea with
Speaker 1: the design. And I at the Gordon Institute of Taife.
Speaker 2: I know, mate, well for people that listen overseas, because
Speaker 2: no doubt you've got an American listenership. Taife is like Harvard,
Speaker 2: so it's not easy to get into. That was four
Speaker 2: hundred dollars for a diploma, I think a certificate four
Speaker 2: an arts design. Because he's been four one hundred dollars.
Speaker 2: How long did it take you to finish? Two years?
Speaker 2: Two years? Four hundred dollars for two years of education?
Speaker 2: But there was a little come up and because a
Speaker 2: degree takes three years. And I remember I got my
Speaker 2: job as a graphic designer, and then I had an
Speaker 2: underling who started tertiary education at the same time I did,
Speaker 2: but took three years, and so I was their senior
Speaker 2: after finishing two years up to two years. Like, suck it,
Speaker 2: suck it, bro, and you've still going to pay your
Speaker 2: hex back what I lose.
Speaker 1: Idiot, I like, pay four hundred dollars for this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll jump right into it now. I want to talk
Speaker 1: to you about a lot of different stuff. Obviously comedy
Speaker 1: is going to be a big part of this, but
Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about travel. You're a
Speaker 1: man that shoveled the world, and I love a bit
Speaker 1: of travel. I know you've done a little bit of
Speaker 1: a You're a Mission.
Speaker 2: Was what was called I Believe the Little You Had.
Speaker 2: That was the first solo show that I ever had
Speaker 2: Mason stand up comedy, firstival show in two thousand and seven,
Speaker 2: and I mean, yes, I'm a citizen of the world,
Speaker 2: if you must call it that. Years I still obviously
Speaker 2: haven't learnt a lot because I still jumped into the
Speaker 2: back of a stranger van to this podcast. Love that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I feel like as we're filming this right now, this
Speaker 2: footage could be on the news right our last scene
Speaker 2: jumping into a white van because I don't know your
Speaker 2: listeners know this is all recorded from a van. And
Speaker 2: he's incredibly convenient. You've turned up, You've possibly got a
Speaker 2: parking fine, but you've turned up here and and yeah,
Speaker 2: I love this setup. This is amazing. I did see
Speaker 2: You've got Eddie Maguire on. Yeah, Edi didn't want to
Speaker 2: get in the bus. Though he didn't want to, he
Speaker 2: put us to the MCGS box.
Speaker 1: It was a bit of a yeah, it's a bit
Speaker 1: of a King Deck kind of thing. Is like, mate,
Speaker 1: I've got something better. I putted your box at the
Speaker 1: MCG overooking the massive ground that is. Yeah, yeah, it
Speaker 1: was pretty cool experience. I'm gonna lie, so did you
Speaker 1: parallel park at the G?
Speaker 2: Is that what happened? Gave us private parking underneath? I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna lie. City. Yes, it's got a few few
Speaker 2: little friends there. I think in this world it's good
Speaker 2: to know you got these media titans on. It's any
Speaker 2: group at Murdoch, Dave Thornton, they're the big three.
Speaker 1: What else do you need to have? But we'll get
Speaker 1: into trouble man. So you've been to Europe, I'm assuming
Speaker 1: is kind of one of the places. I feel like
Speaker 1: a lot of Australians love to go to Europe. It's
Speaker 1: Europe or America, the two furthest places probably possible. Now
Speaker 1: you've been to Europe and you say you've you've gone
Speaker 1: with a bunch of mates. This is pre marriage, pre
Speaker 1: kids and everything else.
Speaker 2: It really was.
Speaker 1: I'm sure it was, mate, I've done it yet I
Speaker 1: still have not married or have kids or anything. But
Speaker 1: some of the best stories come out of travel, and
Speaker 1: I feel like you really find yourself in travel.
Speaker 2: Mate. I want to ask you, what is some of
Speaker 2: your favorite moments?
Speaker 1: Give me maybe like one of the favorite places you've
Speaker 1: been to, one of the favorite things you've done.
Speaker 2: Oh, good question. Admittedly I didn't get drafted into a
Speaker 2: foreign sport league like you seem to have worked out.
Speaker 2: You know, I was explaining your story before I bore
Speaker 2: you with all my travel stories. I was explaining to
Speaker 2: my partner and she said, who's coming around to park
Speaker 2: out the front and inside the house I need to
Speaker 2: clean up, And I said, I'm Mason Cox. And then
Speaker 2: I explained your story, and no doubt people who listen
Speaker 2: to this know your whole story of you know, you
Speaker 2: played four years at Oklahoma State ohmall State. Yeah, that's it, Oh,
Speaker 2: because you were teammates with what's there for the Boston
Speaker 2: Marcus smartt Marcus, Matt Macish, Matt and then and then
Speaker 2: you come over here, he said, You get drafted, you
Speaker 2: get poached, you're playing a foreign sport, but you just
Speaker 2: work hard to get here. And it's amazing that that,
Speaker 2: in taking advantage of situations is a talent in itself.
Speaker 2: You know, you say like, okay, there's an opening, now
Speaker 2: I'm going to go for it. And you've worked extremely
Speaker 2: hard to get in your position. But you are like
Speaker 2: the thinking man's forest gump, like everything's happened to you.
Speaker 2: You just landed in the middle of it all. I mean, like, yes,
Speaker 2: Sick Collingwood, Okay, this works, it's wrong with it. Keep running,
Speaker 2: keep running, just keep running that. It is not me
Speaker 2: imposing on you that you've got you know, your slow
Speaker 2: off the mark. I'm just saying that I'm very slow
Speaker 2: from that. We've hung out a bit, but I'm saying,
Speaker 2: you know, it's so cool that all these experiences have
Speaker 2: happened to you and you were like, okay, let's just
Speaker 2: keep going with this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's great. Says what was your wife's oppression?
Speaker 1: She was like, what what the F do you mean?
Speaker 1: He's just moved over to Australia to play a sport
Speaker 1: he's never heard of, in a place he's never been.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to lie. It's a very hard elevator pitch.
Speaker 2: It's hard to get a little story into two sentences. Yeah,
Speaker 2: like Nason Cox, he plays for colling when she's, Oh,
Speaker 2: that's amazing that he's an American. What what? So he
Speaker 2: just liked a felt he didn't know what it was,
Speaker 2: and then he comes across here and she was as
Speaker 2: bewildered as you would expect that situation to be.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm still trying to find a great way to
Speaker 1: describe it. I still don't know, even to Americans, like, oh,
Speaker 1: what do you do? I'm like, I played soccer and
Speaker 1: rugby and basketball and into one sport and then there's
Speaker 1: no pads and you can essentially just do it the
Speaker 1: hell you want.
Speaker 2: That's what I do. I don't know, but yeah, and
Speaker 2: you're the rarest Pokemon. You know that, don't you?
Speaker 1: What is the rarest Pokemon of Pokemon or something like that,
Speaker 1: Like that's really bringing the back mewtwo.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're like a sixteen American who plays AFL. That's
Speaker 2: not it doesn't really make There's not any other people
Speaker 2: sitting in that Ben diagram.
Speaker 1: I'm not here to brag, but I did make the
Speaker 1: AA team this year, the All American Team. I was
Speaker 1: the best player, I was coach, I was full back.
Speaker 1: Even really couldn't believe that.
Speaker 2: It is incredible.
Speaker 1: It's pretty amazing even head coach every year eight years
Speaker 1: running AA team.
Speaker 2: I understand every rue's at Grand Casino there for the
Speaker 2: Brownlow Metal count.
Speaker 1: I'm sitting at the craps table. You don't really make
Speaker 1: much of the AAA team, but you have a damn
Speaker 1: good night. I'll tell you that on your mate.
Speaker 2: Well, we'll go back to the travel.
Speaker 1: We've kind of got off Tracky, I love it, but
Speaker 1: what is one of your best what's your favorite place
Speaker 1: you've ever been to in the world.
Speaker 2: We'll start with that. See, that's hard to pick because, yeah,
Speaker 2: I went to Europe. Well, see, my father was English
Speaker 2: my mother's so I wanted to see obviously where they
Speaker 2: came from. And then and because I had I've got
Speaker 2: an English passport. So that's what broughbably to Europe initially.
Speaker 2: But since I've been pretty lucky with stand up and
Speaker 2: just with backpacking. I've been South America, Sri Lanka, I've
Speaker 2: been South Africa, Europe obviously, America, Canada. So I mean
Speaker 2: each has their own little I know, I'm acting like
Speaker 2: I'm being diplomatic right now, but there is there's always
Speaker 2: something cool about a place when you go to visit it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I mean one thing that was amazing. I remember
Speaker 2: going to South America and I did the Patagonia Trail. Well,
Speaker 2: are you serious? Yeah? Did you really do the Partigona Trail? Yeah?
Speaker 1: It was.
Speaker 2: It was incredible. I'm assuming named after all the cool
Speaker 2: jumpers that all the.
Speaker 1: Hits an the jumpers came first and then the Mountain
Speaker 1: Range is essentially what happened.
Speaker 2: Did you do the W track? I did the W Trap?
Speaker 2: Are you serious? I've never met anyone else that's on
Speaker 2: the W track. You've done it? I did it? Yeah,
Speaker 2: I did it like five years ago. How funny is
Speaker 2: because lamas are going everyone else? Did you see any
Speaker 2: because there's pumas out there?
Speaker 1: Yeah, we saw condor whenever it's condors, like the biggest
Speaker 1: bird in the world. I think wingspan wise just let
Speaker 1: everyone out there. But we're really on Puma watch. Didn't
Speaker 1: see you Puma's that?
Speaker 2: No? I did see a puma? Did you? How do
Speaker 2: you say it again? Can you say what said? Puma? Puma? Puma?
Speaker 2: Puma sounds like puma. There's like an h in there
Speaker 2: or something. To be honest, if you've got a concussion test.
Speaker 2: I never asked him to say puma because you'll get
Speaker 2: dragged off for two off. You did the well. I
Speaker 2: stayed in the because there's hats all you can bring
Speaker 2: a tent to.
Speaker 3: Oh you did the classy thing. Yeah, man, what did
Speaker 3: you bring a tent? We had a four person t
Speaker 3: there's three of us over six foot four that My
Speaker 3: feet were hanging out. The first night, it snowed about
Speaker 3: the whole foot and I walk up in the middle
Speaker 3: of night to wet feet opened up the like the
Speaker 3: zip just white Christmas everywhere. It was just it was
Speaker 3: the worst start to anything. Everything's drenched, Like, would you
Speaker 3: do that?
Speaker 2: We didn't you. I'm not a person that organizes the
Speaker 2: I just go into it.
Speaker 1: Literally, this is five years ago and it was literally
Speaker 1: the day right there's like during the off season around
Speaker 1: October and we had gone to this place and my
Speaker 1: friend's very organized. He was like, no, we need to
Speaker 1: do like figure out what day we need to do this.
Speaker 1: How long is it going to take to hike this, you know,
Speaker 1: if the train's tough for what we need to wear.
Speaker 1: I kind of rocked up and I was like, Nah,
Speaker 1: we'll just go We'll figure it out. I'll be five
Speaker 1: days in the wilderness. We'll be fine, and about the
Speaker 1: first two hours I realized I was vastly wrong. I
Speaker 1: was extremely wrong. I would have died within a day.
Speaker 2: Mason, you seem like such a lovely guy, but I
Speaker 2: would fucking hate you on that track because I realized
Speaker 2: I am that guy. If I'm left to my own devices,
Speaker 2: I would prefer someone else to organize it. But I
Speaker 2: am the organizer because I want to mitigate any risk,
Speaker 2: and you would be the mate that I'm like, no,
Speaker 2: you're not borrowing my socks. Your feet will freeze off
Speaker 2: and then you have to drag those stumps along the
Speaker 2: track and hopefully yeah, and you would get eaten by
Speaker 2: a pooma. And it's I really liked it, But I
Speaker 2: was I said in my partner because we went pre kids.
Speaker 2: Mind you in saying that I was with your partner,
Speaker 2: I was on the fight. Yeah, and we're still together.
Speaker 2: Oh that's awesome. Going on the five day track, there
Speaker 2: was a person that had a toddler in those baby beyonds. Wow,
Speaker 2: was doing the five day track with a kids trap
Speaker 2: to them, and I'm like, dogess, that's that's a solid effort.
Speaker 1: Well, it's for everyone out there. It's like ten to
Speaker 1: fifteen k's of walking every day and you're going like
Speaker 1: into a mountain range in the back some of the
Speaker 1: most beautiful stuff in the world. Like proper background of
Speaker 1: the desktop to describe this thing. But yeah, it is tough.
Speaker 1: It's not like casual stroll.
Speaker 2: No, it's not. And I mean we went in their summer,
Speaker 2: which is the same as our summer, but it's just
Speaker 2: Southern Hemisphere summer. And I mean, yeah, when you go
Speaker 2: up to the top of the mountains, it's still zero
Speaker 2: degree celsia freezing. It's freezing, so it's not easy to
Speaker 2: track around there. And yeah, I thought five days with
Speaker 2: the kids rep t is a bit march for that child.
Speaker 1: Hey, credit to the missus for going with you, though.
Speaker 1: That was like, that's a pretty tough, gruelling high mate.
Speaker 2: It is niggas awesome. But she is way better equipped
Speaker 2: to do this stuff than I am. Outdoors she's the
Speaker 2: outdoorsy one. She's also like we did a ten to
Speaker 2: be honest, after I'm finding out how useless you are,
Speaker 2: I don't need her. If you're going to turn up
Speaker 2: to every barbecue be like I didn't bring anything, didn't
Speaker 2: organize anything. I'll be like, God, damn. It was defeated.
Speaker 2: Frozen enough backing Patagon, I don't need this. But we
Speaker 2: did a ten k run at the end of last
Speaker 2: year and it was for the good people Beyond Blue
Speaker 2: do a little bit of work with them, and of
Speaker 2: course I needed the carrot. At the end of all
Speaker 2: the lockdowns that Melbourne had to go, I'll get myself
Speaker 2: in shape ten k run. She barely trained. I did
Speaker 2: a bit of training at five k's my calf went
Speaker 2: and I just strolled off because everyone went, wasn't that
Speaker 2: the guy who was promoting this whole race and now
Speaker 2: he's just carcked it?
Speaker 1: And I went, thanks for that, and he's get in
Speaker 1: a car and drive to the end and then walk
Speaker 1: across or something.
Speaker 2: I just wanted to find a hole and fall into
Speaker 2: it then, so I walked to the finish line to think, oh, well,
Speaker 2: I'll be encouraging for Nicky whenever she cross is that.
Speaker 2: I'm looking at the finish line. I'm like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: well she should be over soon. And then she just
Speaker 2: strolls up next to me and I said, what are
Speaker 2: you doing? And she's like, oh, I finished. I finished
Speaker 2: a couple of minutes ago. I was like what did
Speaker 2: you run? Ten k's in and she's like forty two
Speaker 2: minutes And I was like, mane, you're running four and
Speaker 2: a half minute case for twenty seconds and she said, oh,
Speaker 2: I did. I. So she's a beast casual, she's a beast.
Speaker 2: So that is I was the dead weight mate in Patagonia.
Speaker 2: I was the one that was like, just leave me
Speaker 2: here just so you can make it. You can make it.
Speaker 2: But that was incredible because that's also Patagonia is the
Speaker 2: southernmost tip just about of South America. So as long
Speaker 2: as you think about with South America, it's not like
Speaker 2: you think, oh it's like Carnaval, No, No, this is
Speaker 2: this is like, you know, further down than Tasmania. This
Speaker 2: is close to Antarctica. So it's cold. But then there's
Speaker 2: glaciers everywhere, and there's glacier water. How clear the water wall, Well,
Speaker 2: you can drink it off the side of the mountain.
Speaker 2: I've never really done that one of those bottles.
Speaker 1: You're just literally any water it's coming out on side
Speaker 1: of the mount you just can drink straight from it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like there were streams and we would just jump
Speaker 2: in them. We were sullying that water. I'm hoping I
Speaker 2: didn't get some of the five days of grit, grime
Speaker 2: and smegmuth. That's what you want.
Speaker 1: All the best parts of that is like at the
Speaker 1: very end, you catch the boat back across the lake, right,
Speaker 1: I want to say, if you've done the same thing.
Speaker 1: There's a little casual like store there right now. I
Speaker 1: don't know what you'll call them here. I think we
Speaker 1: call him stubby holders. I'm not sure what you're calm, Yeah,
Speaker 1: we calm koozies. Koozies is what you calm?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah.
Speaker 1: And my brother who's been hiking for five days disgusting right, Like,
Speaker 1: we're sweated through everything. We're just absolutely drenched and sweat
Speaker 1: and he's like sitting there. We're like, oh, there's a
Speaker 1: Patagonian beer, and we bought three Patagonian beers and we
Speaker 1: got cheers beers to the Patagonian apps.
Speaker 2: And then I'll come to the realization. We bring these
Speaker 2: beers out.
Speaker 1: My brother whips out three koozies out of his back
Speaker 1: pocket and he goes.
Speaker 2: I've been king these for five days waiting for this moment.
Speaker 2: He chucks him on.
Speaker 1: There was skull a beer in the middle of the
Speaker 1: Patagonian apps. One of the best experiences I've ever done.
Speaker 2: But that's great, But your beer hold of them was
Speaker 2: soaked in his ass cracks. But it's a glass glass protection. Well,
Speaker 2: that's a tank.
Speaker 1: That point, we were happy to have anything. We're eating,
Speaker 1: like race and beans. I think for about five days straight.
Speaker 2: So delusional, but I don't know what's happening.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we made it onto the glacier. We have to
Speaker 1: put out a photo there to everyone to understand how
Speaker 1: beautiful it is. But it is one of the most
Speaker 1: amazing places in the world.
Speaker 2: It really is. But I mean that's different travel. When
Speaker 2: I was traveling with Nikki because she's traveled a lot
Speaker 2: as well, so we were pretty good together traveling. There
Speaker 2: was only a few blowouts, which is to be expected
Speaker 2: when you've got six weeks away together, which is always
Speaker 2: something that threw me off as well when I bumped
Speaker 2: into Americans because we do the trek and it takes
Speaker 2: five days, but that was part of our six weeks
Speaker 2: over in South America, and I talked to Americans and
Speaker 2: they're like, no, I got two weeks off. It took
Speaker 2: me four days to fly down here. I do the
Speaker 2: trek and then I head back to New York and
Speaker 2: live in my cramp department and work in a law
Speaker 2: firm for nothing, to hope that I'll get up an
Speaker 2: ocean one day. And I was like, this is the
Speaker 2: worst set. Like they it broke their minds that we
Speaker 2: were off for six weeks. They're like, what did you
Speaker 2: just quit your job? You're like, nahn, you just tell
Speaker 2: them I'll be back in a bit and then it'll
Speaker 2: be fine. I was always heartbroken that the Americans only
Speaker 2: get two.
Speaker 1: Weeks fall in two weeks when one brother and I
Speaker 1: we had to do it in four days. Usually it
Speaker 1: takes five days of track. We're doing fourcus my brother
Speaker 1: would go back to work.
Speaker 2: It's just the way it is in the US. I
Speaker 2: don't have two weeks.
Speaker 1: And then like, depending on how long you work, you
Speaker 1: can work there for longer and you can be you
Speaker 1: can get more or more time off if the longer
Speaker 1: you work for a company. But like everyone starts two
Speaker 1: weeks and that's just normalized. Like I'll tell people, I'm like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I get like two months off a year, and they're like, mate,
Speaker 1: what is there any other like any other things I
Speaker 1: can do?
Speaker 2: You're only working for half of the year now, so yeah,
Speaker 2: that's sitily.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean we got off season. Don't get me wrong.
Speaker 1: We've got a few little little bie weeks here and there.
Speaker 1: But it's not a bad man. It's part of the whole.
Speaker 2: I think.
Speaker 1: I guess South for me to come over here is
Speaker 1: they have two weeks off of vacation to be able
Speaker 1: to travel anywhere in the world.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's I think it's trains like to
Speaker 2: travel because most of us, other than the first trains,
Speaker 2: we're all immigrants, so you've got some lineage, your reason
Speaker 2: to go overseas and check stuff out and have a
Speaker 2: look at things. But when I was backpacking though through Europe, like,
Speaker 2: it's a different travel. You're twenty two years old, twenty
Speaker 2: three years I'm time to be summer in Europe, sure,
Speaker 2: but you're also skinned, so you just to grub because
Speaker 2: you're just trying to save money every which way. And
Speaker 2: I remember a friend and I we hired a car
Speaker 2: in France, so we went all through the French south coast.
Speaker 2: So it's brilliant. It's summer, it's wonderful. But of course
Speaker 2: we're just sleeping wherever we can because hustles for ten
Speaker 2: dollars and yeah all that, but even then sometimes you're like, oh,
Speaker 2: I don't have the euros for this, so maybe I'll
Speaker 2: just sleep in a garter somewhere. And in Europe are
Speaker 2: always much more las a fair about that. They're like, oh,
Speaker 2: someone's just sleeping in a guther, that's fine. And we
Speaker 2: remember we got into the coastal village and it was
Speaker 2: late at night and my mate says, let's just park
Speaker 2: in this car park and we'll just sleep in the
Speaker 2: car and be fine. I'm like, yeah, you're sick, so
Speaker 2: we put the seats back, and then it was real
Speaker 2: early in the morning, as sun's just breaking. There's a
Speaker 2: French police officer knocking on our window and we're like, oh,
Speaker 2: bonois and that's about the extent of my French and
Speaker 2: he's screaming at us in French and we're like, I
Speaker 2: don't know what's going on. So we get out, but
Speaker 2: we're just in our underwear because we just you know,
Speaker 2: you get into your sleeping bag and you're out and
Speaker 2: he's screaming at us, and we're like, I don't know
Speaker 2: what's going on. Mate, just at a car park, and
Speaker 2: of course you're laying the Australian accent on thick, so
Speaker 2: he might know English, but he does from here, getting
Speaker 2: from like the seagulls from finding Nemo. And then he's
Speaker 2: screaming at us, and I do remember someone else came
Speaker 2: across that was that knew a little bit of English
Speaker 2: and was trying to be the go between. But then
Speaker 2: we realized what happened was a car back, sure, but
Speaker 2: it was a car back to a kindergarten, so we're
Speaker 2: next to preschool. And then two men who were sleeping
Speaker 2: in their car that was fogged up by this stage,
Speaker 2: so he didn't know what was happening inside. The jocks
Speaker 2: just get out in their underwear and they're like, what's
Speaker 2: going on And they're like, I know what's going on,
Speaker 2: your creeps. You need to be at least three hundred
Speaker 2: yards away from any children, so you can't go back
Speaker 2: to friends. Well, he was like, I think once we
Speaker 2: puzzled it together, he was just like just go like,
Speaker 2: I'm not even anger, I'm just disappointed. What's wrong with
Speaker 2: you people? We say five euros? I mean, we're sex
Speaker 2: offenders on a French registerry, but still we save some money.
Speaker 2: It's grass, that's the fun. Of traveling.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's just it's seriously sometimes every year because I
Speaker 1: won't remember. I was twenty three on saying I was broke,
Speaker 1: I had no money, and I was just I slept
Speaker 1: in train stations like everything.
Speaker 2: The thing is no one bat's an eye.
Speaker 1: Everyone's like, oh jeez, another nomad traveler just rolling around
Speaker 1: sleeping wherever he wants.
Speaker 2: Piece of shit. You know. You know this is also
Speaker 2: a story because I bumped into some old friends. I
Speaker 2: was doing a gig in Sydney last week and some
Speaker 2: old friends came to the show. When we were we
Speaker 2: met overseas, so we were just talking about all this
Speaker 2: and we're all now in our forties, we've got kids.
Speaker 2: It was getting to ten o'clock. I'm like, we all
Speaker 2: got to go. We're going to get up early in
Speaker 2: the morning. And so we're channing all these old stories
Speaker 2: and this one, I mean, this proves how much of
Speaker 2: a grubby when you travel. And I had a girlfriend
Speaker 2: and she was Norwegian, and so we met for a
Speaker 2: little bit, but then I went traveling and then she said,
Speaker 2: do you want to stay in Oslow? And I was like,
Speaker 2: for free, absolutely, And then you get their version of
Speaker 2: Jetstar Ryan airfly. Yes, Ryan, get on a few of those.
Speaker 2: You know what. Never lands on a normal airstrip. It
Speaker 2: lands at some ex military airstrip. It's in a different
Speaker 2: country to take a bus. Yeah, you're like here, but
Speaker 2: I'm still trying to kill me away my destination. Can
Speaker 2: someone come pick me up? So she comes and picks
Speaker 2: me up. And all the Norwegian countries are really expensive,
Speaker 2: which I didn't realize. Yeah, when you're back back, the
Speaker 2: Scandinavians are very expensive countries totally because they've just got
Speaker 2: good infrastructure. Places eleven. Yeah, and everyone's hot. You're like, okay,
Speaker 2: I'll pay more for this, so true, like the men,
Speaker 2: the women, everyone's hot. I remember.
Speaker 1: Still you feel like an idiot going there, mate, I
Speaker 1: know your bottom of the barrel.
Speaker 2: Remember standing at train stations and I was waiting for
Speaker 2: it to come out of a train station and every
Speaker 2: person was tall and blonde and gorgeous, And I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'll take any I'll just eat he whatever. What do
Speaker 2: you think is a three to me? He's an eleven.
Speaker 2: I'll take that. I don't care. The only chance you
Speaker 2: got is the Aussie accident. You sliming that thing on.
Speaker 2: As far as you care, yeah, you go, I used
Speaker 2: to be a sex offender in front. And so so
Speaker 2: we're there and I wasn't working, she's working. And it's
Speaker 2: one of those weird things where when you travel, when
Speaker 2: you meet people traveling, you don't have work and you
Speaker 2: don't ask what you do for a living. You just
Speaker 2: hell hanging out and it's blissful. But then sometimes when
Speaker 2: you come back to reality, you go, oh, is this
Speaker 2: working because you met that person when they were free
Speaker 2: and easy. You didn't meet them in their natural habits
Speaker 2: for day to day. Yeah. And so we get there
Speaker 2: and I realized I'm staying at her parents house. She
Speaker 2: still lives with her parents because, like I said, we're
Speaker 2: only twenty three, twenty four whatever. She's just come back
Speaker 2: from travel. She needs to save money. So I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm staying with your whole family. Okay, but again I'm
Speaker 2: a backpack. I'm like, God, it is free. And then
Speaker 2: so I had nothing to do during the day. I'm
Speaker 2: just hanging out like a slob, eating their food because
Speaker 2: I was skint, and I can't believe I'm telling this story.
Speaker 2: She's going to work. Whenever I'd meet her after work,
Speaker 2: we kind of hang out and then I remember one
Speaker 2: night she goes to par at the house with the
Speaker 2: whole family while she's at work, just being a parasite.
Speaker 2: They must have just thought I was a sponsor child
Speaker 2: to make a wish kid. Yeah, totally, yeah, this is
Speaker 2: my last wish to eat you out of house and home.
Speaker 2: And so I'm just I'm a six foot two locust.
Speaker 2: It's in their house. But then she came home from
Speaker 2: work early, so we're sitting on the couch. I'm being
Speaker 2: bored all day. What's on TV? One thing led to another,
Speaker 2: and what do you know? But then her mom came home.
Speaker 2: But of course you don't knock if it's your own house.
Speaker 2: Been there. So she comes in and you're like, oh no,
Speaker 2: and there's no getting out of it. But I'm just
Speaker 2: and her mum just walks straight straight past us through
Speaker 2: the lounge room to her own bedroom and then locks
Speaker 2: the door, and I'm like, oh, do you make eye contact?
Speaker 2: Well no, But then but then we're like this is embarrassing,
Speaker 2: and I'm laughing because again, I've been backpacking now for
Speaker 2: eighteen months. I've been staying in dorms, like it's my
Speaker 2: guide for what is normal and not has gone down considerably.
Speaker 2: You know, it's very like because again you're a grubby backpacker,
Speaker 2: like you're sneaking into everything. You just look good to
Speaker 2: be fine, and I haven't been sober for a year
Speaker 2: and a half, so I'm like to be that's hilarious.
Speaker 2: This is just a funny story part of it. And again, well,
Speaker 2: my parents were well, like my mum is still, they're
Speaker 2: pretty like we just through jokes around growing up. We
Speaker 2: were always just having fun. So I don't know if
Speaker 2: my parents would have taken offense in that situation, but
Speaker 2: we probably would have laughed at it pretty quickly, been
Speaker 2: like oh, this is embarrassing. No, no, no, like a mum
Speaker 2: just goes in the room. The girl at the time says,
Speaker 2: we're going to go for a long walk, like I
Speaker 2: don't know what we're going to do, and I'm laughing.
Speaker 2: I'm like, come on, we're gonna laugh at this sooner
Speaker 2: or later, like it's going to be a funny story.
Speaker 2: And she's like, no, no, you don't understand what my
Speaker 2: parents are. Like I'm an only child, you know, we
Speaker 2: never talked about anything like this, And I'm like okay.
Speaker 2: And then of course, again because of my backpack, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, but I'm not flying out for like
Speaker 2: another seven days, so what are you going to do?
Speaker 2: I'm still here for another week. Yeah, I'm sitting in
Speaker 2: this situation. And it was funny because most Scandinavians have
Speaker 2: unbelievable English, like better English than I have. This is
Speaker 2: my only option and it's their second option, and they're
Speaker 2: grammatically perfect. So English was always fine. We'd be at
Speaker 2: the dinner table well speaking English since the situation happened,
Speaker 2: they just spoke in Norwegian the rest of the time.
Speaker 2: Like It's like they ignored me, like I was like
Speaker 2: I was a ghost in their house, like the present. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I would just be going like it was like I
Speaker 2: didn't exist. They just ignored me for five days. But
Speaker 2: I stayed there because you couldn't fly out the cash
Speaker 2: too to move my flight would have cost twenty dollars.
Speaker 2: I'm like, well that's two dollars I don't have. So
Speaker 2: I just sat there like a pest for the next week,
Speaker 2: just going yeah, I know I've eaten all your food
Speaker 2: and you know what we've been up to. Otherwise, that's gross,
Speaker 2: isn't it. That's gross. We talked about awkward moments on
Speaker 2: this podcast a lot. I think that might trump it.
Speaker 1: To be honest, I think that for a whole week
Speaker 1: after being caught doing the deed by the mother of
Speaker 1: our people, you have to sit there at the dinner
Speaker 1: table and just cop it in a different language.
Speaker 2: Don't cut this up and put that out of context
Speaker 2: on Instagram. Know, I know everyone does this in podcasts,
Speaker 2: like you got to listen to it because everyone will
Speaker 2: be like that guy's horrific. What a human what a
Speaker 2: horrible human being. Look, I'm aware of it. I tried
Speaker 2: to what are they saying twenty twenty one, I'm now
Speaker 2: listening and trying to make attention and be better.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it. That's a wild one, right. I don't
Speaker 1: know if I should tell my story about being Yeah, okay, friends,
Speaker 1: not in has had told me to tell the story
Speaker 1: about me in Sweden, I was just a guy I
Speaker 1: met in college.
Speaker 2: I don't even really know him. He's a friend of
Speaker 2: a friend. As you have, you know, and this is
Speaker 2: your entire life, is god. I went to the other
Speaker 2: side of the world from Collingwood. It's just like cool.
Speaker 1: No one showed up the airport. What's going on? And
Speaker 1: I was in Sweden. I was like, oh, go see
Speaker 1: this guy, and he was in Finland. So I took
Speaker 1: the boat over to Finland. I had no selfhone service,
Speaker 1: so I just show up and he's no one's there,
Speaker 1: so I just get off the boat. No one's there
Speaker 1: to pick me up, and I'm just aimlessly in Finland
Speaker 1: with no idea he's in. I think Turku is the
Speaker 1: place that's called or something like that. Okay, he goes, Oh,
Speaker 1: we'll go. We'll go out to my family's you know,
Speaker 1: you know, my family's lake house. Beautiful place. You know,
Speaker 1: there's like on a lake and there's beautiful trees and
Speaker 1: it's amazing, quite isolated, and I'm like, whatever, you know,
Speaker 1: I'll be able to hold my own. So he drives
Speaker 1: me like three hours out of the way in the
Speaker 1: middle of nowhere, and I was like, give about a
Speaker 1: hour out. I was like, this might be the last
Speaker 1: day of my life, Like this guy is going to
Speaker 1: probably we're not.
Speaker 2: Going to wake up in a nice tub with a
Speaker 2: little missing, no doubt.
Speaker 1: And it was it was proper middle of nowhere, Like
Speaker 1: there was like like dirt roads to get to this
Speaker 1: joint and everything like there was I had no way
Speaker 1: of like contact from the outside world.
Speaker 2: I had no way. And I get there.
Speaker 1: It's the first day of the World Cup and they
Speaker 1: do the opening ceremony. We watch that and stuff and
Speaker 1: goes on. In Finland we do signas and I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's a bit freaking weird, all right, and I'm sure
Speaker 1: you probably get an idea where this is going. And
Speaker 1: I me, being a twenty three year old, I was
Speaker 1: quite conscious of my body still and like in Australia
Speaker 1: where speeders, we would never do that in America, like
Speaker 1: you just yea, you don't. You don't show off the
Speaker 1: body as much as you do here. Everyone here is
Speaker 1: quite proud because I'm proud of what's going on.
Speaker 2: Because America, even though even though you gained independence, you
Speaker 2: were colonized by the British like we were. So we've
Speaker 2: got that British thing of going there and to cover up. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and then you get to mainland Europe. No one in Paris,
Speaker 2: no one cares on the corner of things, and families
Speaker 2: will sit in sauna's just being like here's my bits,
Speaker 2: and they're like cool, the great awesome.
Speaker 1: Well I ended up going so I go into this
Speaker 1: place I'm like, He's like, I'll go get changed whever.
Speaker 2: I was like, all right, cool.
Speaker 1: So this sauna is no bigger than maybe like half
Speaker 1: a meter by half a meter. It is a very
Speaker 1: very enclosed sauna.
Speaker 2: And I walk in. There's like the read to get
Speaker 2: a safety for me. This is me. I was like
Speaker 2: a cool, Oh fine, whatever, We're just going to sign it.
Speaker 2: No big deal.
Speaker 1: There's like this prep room where you put like the
Speaker 1: towel and I was like, oh, put my tale up.
Speaker 1: And I opened the door and I kid, you know,
Speaker 1: because the signings have two stories, right, He's not sitting
Speaker 1: on the bottom. He's sitting on the second story where
Speaker 1: it's like head level, and he's got his legs out
Speaker 1: spread eagle and he's got nothing on, just nothing on,
Speaker 1: and it's this awkwardness of like it's only us out here,
Speaker 1: like and he just looks at me and goes in Finland,
Speaker 1: we going naked.
Speaker 2: And I just look back at him.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm either going to die tonight or
Speaker 1: have to bet naked in front of the student and
Speaker 1: try to act like this is normal.
Speaker 2: So you know, now you've got to rebrand this to
Speaker 2: the Mason Cox Out Show. It would be the first time.
Speaker 2: So yeah.
Speaker 1: So anyway, I sat there, took my jocks off, got naked,
Speaker 1: and essentially my head was right next to his is junk
Speaker 1: for about an hour and we went and ran down
Speaker 1: into the lake and back up. And I will say this,
Speaker 1: it was one of the best feelings in the world
Speaker 1: saunt at the cold bath. But I woke up that
Speaker 1: next morning feeling very refreshed and also very worried that
Speaker 1: something might have happened in the night that I wasn't
Speaker 1: sure was going to be ashamed, Yeah, slightly ashamed. But
Speaker 1: we shared a bond Facebook friends as I count I
Speaker 1: don't know, but I haven't talked to him a few years.
Speaker 2: But that was very interesting than fans only friends, our
Speaker 2: guess friends, true and ever only what could happen? There
Speaker 2: was no there's no interne out there. I'll give you that.
Speaker 1: So but we'll move on from travel man. We could
Speaker 1: I can talk to each about trouble forever because I
Speaker 1: feel like we've both done the euro trip. But we'll
Speaker 1: go back into your comedy mate. Now, obviously everyone knows
Speaker 1: you for your comedy and along the lines of travel,
Speaker 1: you did the Edinburgh Comedy Festival, Yes, how was that.
Speaker 2: It's just finished now because it happens in August every
Speaker 2: year and it is a lot. It is a lot.
Speaker 2: There's a big deal though. It is a big deal,
Speaker 2: and it takes over all of Edinburgh, like Edinburgh's a decent,
Speaker 2: outsize city, and it takes over the whole thing for
Speaker 2: a month. And I'm talking there's shows from ten am
Speaker 2: till four in the morning. Yeah, and bigger than Melbourne Hearing. Yeah,
Speaker 2: because Melbourne's a comedy festival. This is a fringe festival.
Speaker 2: So yeah, a rething. Like there was a show one year.
Speaker 2: It was called man sits in gorilla suit for an
Speaker 2: hour and does nothing and people all turned up like, oh,
Speaker 2: what's going to happen, Like, yeah, it's a man in
Speaker 2: a suit like sitting there doing nothing. But the thing
Speaker 2: is he had a camera on. This was probably about
Speaker 2: twenty ten. He had a camera on the audience because
Speaker 2: he said it was funny because it was an hour.
Speaker 2: I don't know the guy, yeah, but I just read
Speaker 2: about stuff and I saw a bit of a highlighted
Speaker 2: video footage. It said it was people just they'd go
Speaker 2: a little weird because they're going, oh, this is exactly
Speaker 2: what it is, and then they would all look at
Speaker 2: each other, but we've paid a ticket for the we
Speaker 2: don't want to leave. They made money for it, yeah,
Speaker 2: because well, I mean it might only be a couple
Speaker 2: of quid. But once that happens, it's almost like, well,
Speaker 2: I want to play this out. I'm invested. And then
Speaker 2: he said it was really funny because he's watching people
Speaker 2: because he's not moving a muscle. But then they almost
Speaker 2: have becoming the show because they're going like, well, that's
Speaker 2: just what's happening here. And then and then you slowly
Speaker 2: start going, well, I could go up to the monkey,
Speaker 2: I guess, and oh, like a mascot. But then you
Speaker 2: know what I mean, you could just think, oh, I
Speaker 2: can toil around him. I could I could do a
Speaker 2: lap dance, you know what I mean, because you're thinking,
Speaker 2: like what you do whenever.
Speaker 1: The outside the Royal Palace with the people on the
Speaker 1: red coats and the big habite.
Speaker 2: Edinburgh was great. But then because there's so many shows on,
Speaker 2: it's a needle in a haystack thing because people you're
Speaker 2: from the other side of the world. I mean, when
Speaker 2: I went I sound like an old man, but you know,
Speaker 2: this is kind of pre well, social media was around,
Speaker 2: but you know this out this does make me sound
Speaker 2: like an old man. There wasn't Wi Fi around. If
Speaker 2: you're on the internet, you had to go to a
Speaker 2: cafe and get the Internet from a computer, not justting
Speaker 2: on your phone the whole time. Like we didn't have
Speaker 2: smartphones really then, and so you kind of had to
Speaker 2: get the word out and you spend the whole month.
Speaker 2: You're flying people in the rain the whole time. And
Speaker 2: it was there that I received the most pleasant yet
Speaker 2: most cutting heckle I've ever received. Really, because you do
Speaker 2: a show, it's an hour long show, and because too,
Speaker 2: they get audiences from all over, like they get a
Speaker 2: lot of people from America. I notice Canada and America
Speaker 2: because relatively, I think a fly over the Atlantic, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's a bit of a trek, but it's not that
Speaker 2: big in the scheme of things compared to say Australians
Speaker 2: going to the other side of the world. It's what
Speaker 2: a six hour flight or so. Quite often they know
Speaker 2: that the Edinburd Fringe festival's on it's summer, so they go, okay,
Speaker 2: we'll do that, and then a bit of a sojourn
Speaker 2: through Finland to do a sauna and then so you're
Speaker 2: getting audiences from everywhere and you just don't know how
Speaker 2: they're going to react, Like sometimes your jokes are tailored
Speaker 2: for certain audiences, right, like yes, and also with the accent,
Speaker 2: because if you say English as your second language, you're
Speaker 2: used to maybe hearing an English person an an American
Speaker 2: person speak. And then all of a sudden again yeah,
Speaker 2: hair gown. They're like, I don't know what's happening here,
Speaker 2: and I'm sitting here for an hour and this guy
Speaker 2: squawking away. So and I was relatively new to the
Speaker 2: game like that was I was probably six years in,
Speaker 2: and so I didn't have the tools to know how
Speaker 2: to adjust or anything. You're just going, well, this is
Speaker 2: the hour show, and so I had I remember this
Speaker 2: was three nights in a row. I wasn't getting a
Speaker 2: lot from the audience, Like three nights in a row,
Speaker 2: and you'll get audiences that are just flat. There's only
Speaker 2: so much you can do. Maybe the worst feeling though, Yeah,
Speaker 2: but I also think to myself, oh, because I mean
Speaker 2: it also dictates on whether it dictates what time of
Speaker 2: the week it is, because Saturday night people are like,
Speaker 2: I'm out, I'm drinking yacht. If it's Wednesday, people are like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm having an all right, but I'm going to go
Speaker 2: home after this and get my head out of sleep.
Speaker 2: There's not a lot you can do. Yeah, okay, you
Speaker 2: can only get it moving so far. There might be
Speaker 2: comedians listening to this gun now, they could be out
Speaker 2: Wenesday Night's prime night. Now you just choose not to.
Speaker 2: But and so the first night you're like, okay, there
Speaker 2: was just a flat audience. Second night you're like, okay,
Speaker 2: that was weird. It was two nights in a row.
Speaker 2: A third one you're going, I don't know what's happening anymore?
Speaker 2: Is it me? Is it me? Yeah? Maybe this is
Speaker 2: just me? And again you're every night for a month,
Speaker 2: like for a month, every night for a month, every
Speaker 2: night for a month. So you think, is this just
Speaker 2: it for the rest of the run? Am I just
Speaker 2: not going to get a laugh for the next three weeks?
Speaker 2: And then just drive myself into the middle of Siberia
Speaker 2: I never come back. So in this third night, it's
Speaker 2: about twenty minutes into an hour show, and there was
Speaker 2: a couple of people laughing like they were up the
Speaker 2: back is probably eighty people in the crowd. There's three
Speaker 2: people who are going rogue, but everyone else is silent.
Speaker 2: And in that situation, because they're in the dark, you
Speaker 2: can only see so many people, but every person looked
Speaker 2: like they're at a funeral, like, oh my god, man,
Speaker 2: this is Goma. So twenty minutes in I drop a gag.
Speaker 2: The rogue laughers laugh, but then once a peter away
Speaker 2: through the silence, some spokesperson from the rest of the crowd,
Speaker 2: the silent majority leans across to those people and goes.
Speaker 1: Sh oh, no, can you stop laughing.
Speaker 2: If it's a lectures yeah, none, we're trying to break
Speaker 2: this man's hopes and dreams. Could you just be quiet
Speaker 2: now and let it play out? And I was like,
Speaker 2: I can't believe because there was nothing I could say
Speaker 2: to him, like, oh no, they're allowed to laugh. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you people are in the wrong. And it was such
Speaker 2: a like it felt like I don't know where they
Speaker 2: was from, but it felt like such a British yeah,
Speaker 2: like a very proper head. No, no, no, the colonial
Speaker 2: boy is wrong. There is no reason for him to
Speaker 2: be here quiet. Oh geez, how did you react to it?
Speaker 1: Did you just kind of go ah, just keep going,
Speaker 1: just keep just keep noting on stone, just keep getting
Speaker 1: through it.
Speaker 2: Well I did laugh. I laughed, and I think I
Speaker 2: said something to those words I just said, and then everyone,
Speaker 2: most of them, looked at me and went yeah. And
Speaker 2: funnily enough, the next year I opened with that story
Speaker 2: because I would be like, the last time I was here,
Speaker 2: this happened. And then there was a big laugh and
Speaker 2: this guy's like, yeah, that was us, that was us.
Speaker 2: Last propose. Know, the people who laughed come back. So
Speaker 2: I'd won over three people and lost seventy seven of them,
Speaker 2: which isn't good old next year, but they came back
Speaker 2: and I was like, that's actually quite lovely of you.
Speaker 1: You have some super fans. Yeah, yeah, su three guys.
Speaker 2: I hope you're still hanging on. Guys. I've given you
Speaker 2: every reason not to thank you for hanging on. So
Speaker 2: it was a lot, and I did two years straight
Speaker 2: and then and I was like, I'm done here. It's
Speaker 2: a long way to go. Yeah, and it's a grind.
Speaker 2: Some people get out to go after a year after
Speaker 2: year and then really accruel an audience. Like Jamoen. He
Speaker 2: goes back after every year and he's got it. He's
Speaker 2: really big in Edinburgh, but I just was like, I can't.
Speaker 2: This is a lot.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's very much an aftert, especially if we get
Speaker 1: silence from the client for a whole month straight.
Speaker 2: You think you are maut hardened and then it's just
Speaker 2: something like that. It breaks you. It would break you
Speaker 2: up for sure. But surely you've got stories of I've
Speaker 2: been lucky enough now to meet guys in you know,
Speaker 2: professional sports people, and then when they tell me stories,
Speaker 2: because sport is there for people to roast, like in comedy,
Speaker 2: it's almost like, Okay, you want to come up and
Speaker 2: we're going to go toe to toe if this this
Speaker 2: is what you want. Not that I ever encourage it,
Speaker 2: but it may happen. But in sports people like, no, no,
Speaker 2: I'm going to spend the entire time shitting on you.
Speaker 1: And if you shit back on and then they throw
Speaker 1: a fit, well, sure you can't like it, you can't
Speaker 1: react too much. Everyone can shooit on you. But if
Speaker 1: you like say anything back, then it's like a big deal.
Speaker 2: I know. I always found that a bit weird when
Speaker 2: they I can't believe people say that, are you once
Speaker 2: I retire? Chains are off? Baby? Come at me on Twitter?
Speaker 2: Have you had anyone that have thrown stuff at you
Speaker 2: that has actually put you off, like you've got that
Speaker 2: one actually hit home.
Speaker 1: No, I'm not really I don't really care because I'm
Speaker 1: kind of like this probably sounds really big headed, but
Speaker 1: most people are probably sitting there watching me playing the stands.
Speaker 1: I always wish they could have played AFL and some
Speaker 1: dipshit out like American doesn't know what it is out
Speaker 1: there playing off for them, so kind of.
Speaker 2: It's really just a slap in their face, if anything.
Speaker 1: I will say once, I think we were playing Richmond
Speaker 1: and I wasn't having the greatest game, and the Richmond
Speaker 1: fans actually chanted Usa to me as a bit of
Speaker 1: like a you're playing like shit mate, like it just
Speaker 1: kind of getting abby, and I was like that's I
Speaker 1: was like, fair col, fair col, you know, like you
Speaker 1: cop it able to.
Speaker 2: Give it fair enough. This is obviously this isn't my story,
Speaker 2: and this is Bob Murphy told me this story. Yeah,
Speaker 2: he was playing and I can't remember which injury it was,
Speaker 2: but it was a significant injury. It might have been
Speaker 2: the one in the twenty sixteenth season and he was
Speaker 2: getting stretched off. And again, this is Bob's story to
Speaker 2: tell but I have said it before on radio shows
Speaker 2: and things, and I've said, Bob, I've all their stories,
Speaker 2: like here you go for it. And he said he
Speaker 2: was getting stretched off. So you've got thoughts of this
Speaker 2: is the end of my career? Will I ever come back?
Speaker 2: I can't believe this has happened right now, because I
Speaker 2: can imagine for a sports person too, it's like this
Speaker 2: is it's not just my career, it's my earnings, Like
Speaker 2: what will I do after this? He said he's getting
Speaker 2: stretched off? And about a ten year old kid leans
Speaker 2: across and goes, Murphy, you just fuck my super coach.
Speaker 2: A ten year old kid? How is that? Like a
Speaker 2: kid of visceratity for a super coach? I hate you
Speaker 2: that much, really, mate, I don't know how I'm going
Speaker 2: to pay for my mortgage. I don't know how this
Speaker 2: is going to work out. It's even what a mortgage
Speaker 2: is at that age. That's true. Oh my gosh, that's
Speaker 2: just like mom and dad teaching the wrong things to
Speaker 2: that kid.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well yeah, you really look at their parents and
Speaker 1: that one go like, you know, you're the asshole in
Speaker 1: this situation.
Speaker 2: It's not really your kids, faar, But I mean that's
Speaker 2: way worse than anything that's been thrown at me. Really,
Speaker 2: I think so I haven't had too many.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's in the comedian you kind of
Speaker 1: work that line sometimes of like offending people like I know,
Speaker 1: I know recently you've you've talked you live in I
Speaker 1: don't say this, you live in the now, the talk
Speaker 1: about yeah yeah, you live in Brynsburg, And they're kind
Speaker 1: of known to be the people people take the piss
Speaker 1: out of right, and you do it in good faith,
Speaker 1: you know, you know, you take the piss out of
Speaker 1: them here and there. And like, have you had anyone
Speaker 1: like to come out to you and said, like, I've
Speaker 1: been offended by something you've said while you're in a
Speaker 1: like in comedy.
Speaker 2: It's funny. I Online especially, that's different that people just
Speaker 2: signed the balls to say that your face. I feel like, Yeah,
Speaker 2: online is when people like I post old stand up
Speaker 2: clips on my Instagram, Dave.
Speaker 1: Score yet the Twitter, Instagram, you do Facebook, it's all there, mate.
Speaker 1: It might even be Apple Music and Spotify just like us.
Speaker 1: Everyone listening anyway.
Speaker 2: At all the great places you listen to your podcasts? Now,
Speaker 2: what is your Usagram? Though? Shout it out Dave underscore
Speaker 2: Thorno all right, I want to check it out follow me.
Speaker 2: But only put up a clip recently that I did
Speaker 2: on row of years ago, and it was just about spelling.
Speaker 2: It's the most innocuous subject you could think of. And
Speaker 2: I just said, oh, English is the hardest thing which
Speaker 2: is spelled, because there's silent letters and there's things like this,
Speaker 2: and it's amazing. People like, why don't you try Danish? Mate?
Speaker 2: What don't you try? And people are roasting over spelling.
Speaker 2: You're like, okay, but man, if you look at it.
Speaker 2: This was two thousand and eight. I I didn't have
Speaker 2: the ability to look up Danish to see in what
Speaker 2: ranking order was the hardest spelling language. But that's that.
Speaker 2: That is a microcosm of what you know. It's like online, Yeah,
Speaker 2: people will taking with everything. Yeah, the Brunswick thing I
Speaker 2: always do say. I'm like, I love it and that's
Speaker 2: why I give it shit. Yeah, you know, I sometimes
Speaker 2: have to explain this to people. And again it's online
Speaker 2: where people like, even though say, ah, you complaining about
Speaker 2: your kids. The more I have kids, I'm like, it's such.
Speaker 2: I don't say that I don't love them, it's just
Speaker 2: that and maybe it's an Australian thing or whatever, but
Speaker 2: it's like the closer someone is to you, the more
Speaker 2: you're probably going to give them shit. That's the That's
Speaker 2: how I grew up. Like it's with love that you
Speaker 2: wind someone up and people go, look, you hate it.
Speaker 2: You're like, that's like I wouldn't make jokes when I
Speaker 2: hate something. I don't find it funny. I hate it.
Speaker 2: I'm not ignore it. Yeah, yeah, it's in the rubbish
Speaker 2: bin of my mind. I'm like, throw it out because
Speaker 2: it just frustrates me that much. When I enjoy something
Speaker 2: I have done with it, it's like that's when I'm
Speaker 2: winding it up. Like it's fine to give each other shit.
Speaker 2: I mean, you're in a football club. I'm very sure
Speaker 2: none of you are like, great game, well done, some
Speaker 2: pat on the back. Should we all hold hands of
Speaker 2: incomeboy ar? Do you know you want to do that?
Speaker 2: After the game? We all are We do a whimsical
Speaker 2: tune at the end of the game. It's funny. I
Speaker 2: had a Canadian friend. The whole pomp and ceremony of
Speaker 2: AFL is hilarious, Like when I've brought a friend from
Speaker 2: overseas to watch a game. There's so many things. He's like,
Speaker 2: they're running through tissue paper and you're like, yeah, man,
Speaker 2: it's that's when the gladiatorial battle is about to begin
Speaker 2: with through tissue paper. And then you're right at the end.
Speaker 2: I remember, because I'm a Geelong fan. Well, you win
Speaker 2: the match, and then there's this year oldie song and
Speaker 2: my friend's like, what is happening and you're like, oh,
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Brass Band comes out, like we're living in the nineteen twenties.
Speaker 1: It's the first era win to It was a July game.
Speaker 1: Geng fan. It was like we are Geelong the ghotos tab.
Speaker 1: I just looked at my brother.
Speaker 2: I was like, are these motherfucker seriously, this is the
Speaker 2: weirdest shit. What is happening is weird? And then port
Speaker 2: Adelaid plays in excess and everyone goes, well, that's weird.
Speaker 2: Why would you do that because it's a modern song
Speaker 2: happen been around undred nineteen hundred. You're right. Then they'll
Speaker 2: get around and you know, it's the weirdest thing. Between
Speaker 2: that and the pink runners I run out in the
Speaker 2: field and middle of the game. I always found that
Speaker 2: really weird. But that the umpires, the umpires suit. I
Speaker 2: want to bring back the old white white coats mount
Speaker 2: telling you it like the an arts teacher or something. Yes,
Speaker 2: never thought that's a great way to put it. They
Speaker 2: all come across here. They're wearing the full trench coat
Speaker 2: like your teacher, and would work. Okay, guys, get out
Speaker 2: of the circular sort. I forget to where you gogles like.
Speaker 2: It was very strange. You know, it's funny you said
Speaker 2: that because I remember being in America and I went
Speaker 2: to a baseball game. I saw there some weird stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I went saw the Cubbies in Chicago. The field and
Speaker 2: then first base coach is hilarious because I'm always like sign,
Speaker 2: I'm always like, what the fuck is he telling? Is
Speaker 2: a professional? Like he goes, you know, after first we
Speaker 2: go to second? Yeah, you know, you know, sorry, I'm
Speaker 2: probably getting in your ay more than anything. I'm like,
Speaker 2: you need someone to walk out and explain how a
Speaker 2: diamond works.
Speaker 1: I can only imagine they'd just be talking shit to it,
Speaker 1: like this guy's trash. He's gonna fucking throw you at here.
Speaker 1: There's gonna be something, sure, But then I don't know
Speaker 1: if you've seen it. The signs they do because the
Speaker 1: first base coach. What they really do is they show
Speaker 1: signs to the batter sometimes and they'll be like, you
Speaker 1: know the the you know, they left right up and
Speaker 1: then left right and then it's like they're doing some
Speaker 1: kind of weird prayer. I'm not really sure, but that's
Speaker 1: kind of I think what they do. But I can
Speaker 1: only imagine being a first base coach. Did you just
Speaker 1: sit on it's essentially just sitting on the sideline, just
Speaker 1: talking to people and maybe taking a helmet every once
Speaker 1: in a while off someone.
Speaker 2: Sure, and that's it. Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 1: But then I thought I thought you were going to
Speaker 1: say the dot race. Did you have a dot race
Speaker 1: at regular field? No, they have these like dots, right,
Speaker 1: So it's colors and they have everyone gets a color.
Speaker 1: They hand out these pieces of paper. Everyone gets a
Speaker 1: color and if you if your dot's the winner, you
Speaker 1: get like a free a dot free mix.
Speaker 2: In a Poka dot like like a Poka dot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just a color and you get like a free
Speaker 1: big Mac if your thing wins, right, and they'll have
Speaker 1: it are different teams have different things, but they'll have
Speaker 1: the dot race on the screen, will go blah bla blah,
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden, now like left field,
Speaker 1: you'll have. What they'll do is we'll get three drunk
Speaker 1: mates and they'll be like, hey, you want to be
Speaker 1: the dots for the day, And of course they're all like, hell, yes,
Speaker 1: we get three people put on this like ridiculous outfit
Speaker 1: wherever it is, so they look like an M and M. Yeah,
Speaker 1: kind of different ones do different things. So I think
Speaker 1: the Nationals do like different like presidents, like ex presidents.
Speaker 1: They put like a president's head on. It is like
Speaker 1: a big, huge thing right f every point break and
Speaker 1: you get three just drunk idiots and they're all trying
Speaker 1: to race to home to see who's going to be
Speaker 1: the first one.
Speaker 2: So it's like you can imagine just shoving like life
Speaker 2: right center.
Speaker 1: Everyone's just shoving each other over and everyone's cheering for
Speaker 1: whatever person they got on their little piece of paper
Speaker 1: just for a big back. You know, I know, what
Speaker 1: really gives a shit about the outcome, but everyone just
Speaker 1: wants to see someone get taken out, and it's one
Speaker 1: of the most entertaining things at baseball.
Speaker 2: But that's one of the nice things I always think
Speaker 2: about slow sports like that because cricket's the same, and
Speaker 2: I now with cricket and they have it was obviously
Speaker 2: tests and then one days came in and now it's
Speaker 2: twenty twenty. But the only thing is when it was tests.
Speaker 2: And I've been to a few tests matches at the
Speaker 2: mcg and boxing day where because there's more of not
Speaker 2: doing the thing than doing the thing. You know, baseball
Speaker 2: is like one hit and then we all stand around
Speaker 2: and scratch ourselves. Stupid shit like that happens all the
Speaker 2: time because people and drunk, yeah, and they've been there
Speaker 2: all day so they're like and then stupid stuff that happens,
Speaker 2: and you're like, this is way more entertaining than the
Speaker 2: actual game itself. It's proof that if you just don't
Speaker 2: do a lot and put alcohol in it, it's a
Speaker 2: lot of fun. They do like the cup stack so
Speaker 2: you can get the highest cup stack. Of course. I
Speaker 2: remember a guy walking out and he had four bees
Speaker 2: on him and then everyone's like, skull and he skulls one,
Speaker 2: then one, keeps going, keep going, and then he finishes
Speaker 2: four and then my mate went to the bathroom. This
Speaker 2: guy's just yacting on the tiles and you're like, oh,
Speaker 2: he's having a glory. You really have to pay for it.
Speaker 2: Good stuff.
Speaker 1: It's like Bob ha like y'all love people scrolling stuff,
Speaker 1: even like Bob Hawke, the old Prime Minister of Scold
Speaker 1: a beer at the cricket and everyone lost their mind.
Speaker 1: Anything albu and easy. Recently at a gang of youth's concert,
Speaker 1: scold a beer and it's just I feel like it's
Speaker 1: very Australi. And Daniel Ocrdo does the skull out of
Speaker 1: the shoe.
Speaker 2: That's showy. It's just a very Australian. The tiny draft. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's good. It's just something you'll love. I don't know. Yes,
Speaker 2: I did find that when I went to America, and
Speaker 2: it could be wrong because we shotgun beers. A shotgun
Speaker 2: is I know, a shotgun? But I just found too
Speaker 2: in America, your casual drinking is a lot less than
Speaker 2: as a rule of thumb, I found the casual drinking
Speaker 2: gets to go home, back home. Well that's what I
Speaker 2: always feel like, like they'd always be like, man, you
Speaker 2: drink it a lot and you're am I isn't this fine?
Speaker 2: But maybe that was the place I was going to.
Speaker 2: But I did want to ask you. Circling back to
Speaker 2: the runners, Have you ever had that thing where like
Speaker 2: a runner has come out. Have they always been really
Speaker 2: serious or do they sometimes just come out and be like, Hey,
Speaker 2: they tell me to come out and say something. I
Speaker 2: don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a lot of times they'll come out and say something.
Speaker 1: I'm just look at Pendles like you got that? Yeah,
Speaker 1: just run the other way and you keep going. Feddles,
Speaker 1: He'll figure it out for everyone else.
Speaker 2: You go between.
Speaker 1: He just looks at me and goes say something. I
Speaker 1: look at Pendles. He goes that means hit to this number,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, okay, gun, Yeah, Pendles runs the show.
Speaker 1: Pendles just runs a shot there. I'm telling you, he's
Speaker 1: the main man.
Speaker 2: But now they do.
Speaker 1: There's there's never like I feel like at a professional level,
Speaker 1: like it's always very serious. But if you were like
Speaker 1: kind of a local level, like surely you're just having
Speaker 1: a bit of fun just going out there roasting players
Speaker 1: left front and center.
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, I just think that. Yeah, the whole concept
Speaker 2: of a runout, like even if you went to VFL level,
Speaker 2: I think there must be guys running out gone got
Speaker 2: nothing to say to you. But I was just on
Speaker 2: tinder and have they got that? That's pretty good, isn't it? Like,
Speaker 2: surely it's just chatter. Surely if you're up by sixty
Speaker 2: maybe I'm not really sure at all. You're about sixty. Really,
Speaker 2: anything goes for the runner. I feel like it's his
Speaker 2: time to shine. Actually that's a good point. If it's
Speaker 2: over sixty, it should be. Yeah. The lesson is him
Speaker 2: just coming out and just working. I've got a booking
Speaker 2: tonight at a restaurant. Do you reckon? We should be
Speaker 2: eight or ten of us? What do you reckon? I'll
Speaker 2: put ten in and see how we go, Like he
Speaker 2: should just you know, you've been whatever time he's left
Speaker 2: in the show, just organizing shit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's sortain beers out for after the game. Actually
Speaker 1: is probably what he's doing. He's like, Ah, you know,
Speaker 1: booking at this pub, this pub, you know you think
Speaker 1: we need two kegs or three?
Speaker 2: Yeah, surely, surely we'll move on there.
Speaker 1: I know you've done a lot of different stuff. You've
Speaker 1: done radio, which I want to talk to you about.
Speaker 1: You've done the fifty Dave faven Byron. You've also done
Speaker 1: like the Project, and you've done the Rove. Like you said,
Speaker 1: I feel like the Rove might be a cult because
Speaker 1: I feel like every comedian here in Australia has been
Speaker 1: on Rope show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well it was, I mean the closest thing to
Speaker 2: like it was a late night chat show.
Speaker 1: Yewan Peter Hollier on he talked about Rowe being one
Speaker 1: of the first original things he started with and like
Speaker 1: being able to get into comedy from that, and.
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, I mean those So it was nineteen ninety nine.
Speaker 2: I remember they were on air and Roe for ten
Speaker 2: years was like ow Dave Letterman. It was our Johnny Carson.
Speaker 2: It was like the late ninth thing and that was
Speaker 2: the only spot you could do stand up on, so
Speaker 2: all those comedians got we were on that and that
Speaker 2: was us doing our first ever real stand up spot. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you know, and yeah it was great. I mean it was.
Speaker 2: It was. It was a hell of funny show. Like
Speaker 2: I mean, Pete, I was only talking to him about
Speaker 2: this recently, like he was twenty four or something. When
Speaker 2: life goes on and then becomes like nationally famous, I'm like, oh, man,
Speaker 2: you've been famous for like twenty years, you know, like
Speaker 2: Pete's been. It's done a lot. Yeah, man, like so much,
Speaker 2: and so you know you think like maybe some kids.
Speaker 2: Now there's probably a generation of kids that maybe didn't
Speaker 2: grow up on it. But for us, for my age,
Speaker 2: it was like Rove was many. He won Logis Mate.
Speaker 2: People listening overseas, there's big news, big news the Logis.
Speaker 1: Big news is that the Oscars of Australia. Unfortunately, yes, yeah, okay, cool.
Speaker 1: No one got slapped in these oscars to they maybe
Speaker 1: in the after party, yeah, a few loose units in
Speaker 1: the after party.
Speaker 2: The Logis is a place where not so much anymore.
Speaker 2: But we used to get Americans over, like you would
Speaker 2: find find the star that was desperate for cash. Yes,
Speaker 2: and then they would come over and it was usually
Speaker 2: one way or the other. They're either on the way
Speaker 2: up or the way down. Like we would never get
Speaker 2: someone at the peak of their powers. You'd get like
Speaker 2: a Matt LeBlanc who friend Joey trailing from friends Friends
Speaker 2: would have finished ten years ago, and he's turning up
Speaker 2: going what is my manager said yes to? And they
Speaker 2: just couldn't understand what is going on.
Speaker 1: He's just gone, I'm just here for the after party,
Speaker 1: to be honest, Just give me a script and I'll
Speaker 1: read it.
Speaker 2: Oh totally. Yeah, he's probably ying out the home and
Speaker 2: away table, like what girls there is going to be
Speaker 2: the next one in the in the American actress scheme.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, so coming away far out, Yeah, neighbors
Speaker 1: no longer rip ip, it's only home and away now,
Speaker 1: that's where all the actress have to go.
Speaker 2: That's the only one left. Yeah, I think dark times
Speaker 2: in Australian television.
Speaker 1: We'll talk about television because you actually were on Better
Speaker 1: Roses and your character, Shannon Shannon was it.
Speaker 2: I've read it here.
Speaker 1: It says he was an injured twenty four year old
Speaker 1: AFL player who found himself in trouble and return home
Speaker 1: to the series fictional town of Rainbows in and to
Speaker 1: his mum.
Speaker 2: That's it. Give us a little bit of a backtra
Speaker 2: for that, mate. It was. It was my first ever
Speaker 2: kind of really acting. I don't because I've never studied acting.
Speaker 2: People I go to study acting like no, I don't
Speaker 2: know if you've seen my performances design, Yeah, that's exact t.
Speaker 2: Thank you mate. I was working on Pantoon colors, a
Speaker 2: bit of a pluggre. Maybe I'll love it. I was
Speaker 2: genuinely love it. It's funny I've been asked to do
Speaker 2: talks at the Gordon Institute of tape with you when
Speaker 2: he wanted to talking. You realize I used none of
Speaker 2: that education to be where I've gotten. That's not a
Speaker 2: good self for students. None of it was worth it,
Speaker 2: So enjoy but yes, you better row. And it's a
Speaker 2: funny situation because the character was kind of based on
Speaker 2: Ben Cousins. Yeah, okay, yeah, and that's such as life exactly,
Speaker 2: so yeah, you've got context. So it was so it
Speaker 2: was like, oh, so just act like you're in some
Speaker 2: real trouble here, And I'm like, at what level will
Speaker 2: I method act this? How far am I going to
Speaker 2: do some research? Did you just watch? I mean there
Speaker 2: was enough. There was enough research going on. It was
Speaker 2: the front page news, So like, yeah, I think I've
Speaker 2: got it. And it was kind of alarming that people go,
Speaker 2: you can pay the role of some wheels have completely
Speaker 2: fallen off. Who do we think of it? Dave? Dave
Speaker 2: will fill this role. Pera looks like a man who's
Speaker 2: barely got it together. Let's get him on fits the bill?
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah yeah. But because I was young and probably
Speaker 2: taking myself a bit too serious, I then said, yep,
Speaker 2: I'm going to hack my hair, I'll get bleached blonde tips,
Speaker 2: I'll look like loose. But then you realize you've got
Speaker 2: to live with that. Like I was at mate's weddings
Speaker 2: just going They're like, what are you doing? What are
Speaker 2: you doing? I'm a character? Is the character like an
Speaker 2: absolute spanner because you look like an idiot? And I
Speaker 2: was like, Oh, You've got to live with this for
Speaker 2: the rest of my time. I remember I remember this
Speaker 2: small part in a movie with Portia de Rossie. It
Speaker 2: was an Australian movie now made, put together by Robin
Speaker 2: Butler and Wayne Hope, and it was great. But they
Speaker 2: had me on as a cop in this situation and
Speaker 2: I was into a narrative device where the main Portia
Speaker 2: de Rossi's character was over here in Australia, and then
Speaker 2: she was caught with a lot of kind of over
Speaker 2: the counter drugs that were legal in America that illegal
Speaker 2: here in Australia. So then she was she had to
Speaker 2: stay in Australia. But I was the cop that kind
Speaker 2: of found her. Remember Portia Rossi is like Allan's wife,
Speaker 2: you know, like she's like she's a big deal. And
Speaker 2: of course I'm coming thinking, oh, I'm a cop, like,
Speaker 2: you know, I want to act like a cop. And
Speaker 2: I was even living in authority, you know it, Mason.
Speaker 2: And then so I remember going to a cop station
Speaker 2: in sin Kilda. I remember turning out and like, what
Speaker 2: would a cop do in this situation? And the cops like,
Speaker 2: what are you talking about it? And I said, I'm
Speaker 2: doing this script like this is a serious I took
Speaker 2: it and he said what, like, maybe we got bigger
Speaker 2: fish to fry, like we're in and killed her. I'm
Speaker 2: trying to get the junkies off the street and you've
Speaker 2: come in, going who would work look a cop? He's like,
Speaker 2: I don't put a suit on and get a bat.
Speaker 2: I don't care. So I get there and I'm supposed
Speaker 2: to be dragging her into the station, and so I'm like,
Speaker 2: I don't because I hate watching movies or TV shows
Speaker 2: where you'll see the extra or the person that's off
Speaker 2: to the side and they're not doing their job, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean, Like I look for that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: in a sports movie, they'll cut to the crowd and
Speaker 2: it's an extra who's barely gotten off their seat. You like, mate,
Speaker 2: this is supposed to be the winning touchdown of the
Speaker 2: college game. That finishes the movie's nothing, and you look
Speaker 2: like you're pissed off because you didn't get all the
Speaker 2: catering you wanted. And so I'm like, I'm going to
Speaker 2: commit to this. And so I've got Porsche and I'm
Speaker 2: taking her down the stairs and she just goes cart
Speaker 2: because I'm grabbing her arm and she's like, he's about
Speaker 2: to throw me down the stairs. And I was like,
Speaker 2: like the director and everyone's going to have I'm like,
Speaker 2: I almost killed Ellen's wife like that, don't know I
Speaker 2: should go. I think I've lost this role. Yeah, that's
Speaker 2: when I was looking back through my tape credentials to
Speaker 2: be I can fall back and meet your graphic design.
Speaker 2: Maybe this isn't for me. There's a better option. Yeah,
Speaker 2: maybe maybe acting is not good for me because I
Speaker 2: also then traversed a homicide. So yeah, it wasn't great.
Speaker 1: Gosh, well we'll move on into too sport mate. I
Speaker 1: know you love your basketball and we recently saw each
Speaker 1: other in the NBA store with Jamal Murray, which was
Speaker 1: a very interesting experience.
Speaker 2: Hey girl, it was a Monday morning and it was
Speaker 2: just AFL players and comedians.
Speaker 1: That was easy becausees with Monday off is a very
Speaker 1: awkward scenario. I felt like, I don't know why, maybe
Speaker 1: you had a different experience, but they kind of like
Speaker 1: throw you in front of these people and they're like,
Speaker 1: i'll speak on hang out.
Speaker 2: It's like.
Speaker 1: I played basketball back in the day, and this is Davie.
Speaker 1: He does comedy. Because you've got no touchstones. But yeah,
Speaker 1: you know if you feel like oh, I felt like
Speaker 1: grabbing Jamal and going, hey, I like what you do.
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not a super fan. Yeah, I just
Speaker 1: want to let you know, like I like watching you play.
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not some weird.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't want to cut off some of your
Speaker 2: hair and sniff it at night. I just want to,
Speaker 2: you know, just hang for a bit. And it seems
Speaker 2: kind of cool. Please don't take me for a widow.
Speaker 2: But then by right of you saying that you feel
Speaker 2: like a weird, you're weird.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's nothing that can get you out of that scenario.
Speaker 1: I feel like of just being that awkward guy on
Speaker 1: the side just going hey, Mal, what's up there?
Speaker 2: You going yeah, and he's gonna, well, you realize you
Speaker 2: can't have a normal chat like we're having now because
Speaker 2: I said, oh, hear it's from how's your injury going?
Speaker 2: Because he had an ACL and he was out for
Speaker 2: the season, and of course he's he doesn't want some
Speaker 2: schmuck in Australia, then getting online and going I just
Speaker 2: heard Jamal said he's going to be out for another
Speaker 2: six months. He's god day to day. It's on PR
Speaker 2: and I can understand that. And then all of a sudden,
Speaker 2: because it's not a conversation, he's not going to go
Speaker 2: and how are you and the family, He's just going,
Speaker 2: I just want to move through this and get my paycheck,
Speaker 2: which I understand. He was nice, he was lovely, very lovely,
Speaker 2: but it was just weird. And but yeah, I mean
Speaker 2: I am. Yeah, I'm a bit of a tragic when
Speaker 2: it comes to basketball, Like I love it a bit
Speaker 2: too much. What do you mean in that sense? Well,
Speaker 2: like anything, like my go to is just if I'm
Speaker 2: sitting there and I'm a bit tired on the couch,
Speaker 2: I just look up YouTube and I'll watch any thing
Speaker 2: related with basket really, like I watch horrendous things like
Speaker 2: I'll watch highlights of Michael Jordan and Len Bias playing
Speaker 2: Maryland unc unlike a YouTube old school. Yeah, that's old.
Speaker 2: I will watch I just watched a Penny Hardaway Magic
Speaker 2: Johnson thing on YouTube, Like I followed dudes that You're like,
Speaker 2: why are you watching this? And I'm like, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I will just take anything that's basketball related. What's your
Speaker 2: favorite team? What's your team? The Knicks? Yeah, so it sucks,
Speaker 2: so you can understand why I don't actually like watching
Speaker 2: games YouTube replays. It's probly the vast idea. Yeah, but
Speaker 2: are you, like, are you a basketball fan? Because I
Speaker 2: know you you grew up kind of playing soccer and
Speaker 2: then you I'm.
Speaker 1: More of a fan of like players in the NBA.
Speaker 1: I'm fans of people I've had interactions with and dealton
Speaker 1: life with, so like I used to both with Michael Smart,
Speaker 1: playinst Johan and Beid Andrew Williams, people like that. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I hope they go well because the more they go well,
Speaker 1: then it's kind of a cool story for me to tell.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Sure, and it's kind of like you're somewhat connected,
Speaker 2: Like if I do either number or anything like that.
Speaker 1: Now, I don't know, I am. I'm sure they're just
Speaker 1: like there's some random dude over in Australia. But it
Speaker 1: is cool to be like, you know, I'm somewhat I
Speaker 1: guess like that was the reason that it got me there.
Speaker 1: Playing against those people and being able to play at
Speaker 1: the high level got me to where I'm at now.
Speaker 1: So it's kind of a cool story to tell the people.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, but I'm from Dallas, so I've got to
Speaker 2: be a Dallas Mavericks fan. Oh so you're from Dallas. Yeah,
Speaker 2: because he was a school in Oklahoma. Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2: It was engineering or something here. Yeah, it was.
Speaker 1: It was almost as good as the design and art
Speaker 1: from Gordon's institu day as much from it. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it costs a little bit more than four hundred dollars,
Speaker 1: but I.
Speaker 2: Have her terachury does last a bit in America? Does
Speaker 2: it does? But then do you have a student loan?
Speaker 2: Similar situation.
Speaker 1: I was fortunate enough to have parents that paid for schooling. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you do usually take out loans and stuff. And then
Speaker 1: but basketball players, because I was I played basketball in
Speaker 1: college and a lot of the guys that play basketball
Speaker 1: get their education paid for.
Speaker 2: On scholarship, right, sure, I was never that guy. I
Speaker 2: never really got that opportunity.
Speaker 1: Although I played over guys that were on scholarship, which
Speaker 1: doesn't really make sense in the whole grand scheme of things,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I never got any money for it, so
Speaker 1: I just showed up every single day and just they
Speaker 1: flew private jets around the world around the country. We
Speaker 1: flew over to Spain and Europe and did the like
Speaker 1: tournaments over there, and then yeah, it's all paid for.
Speaker 1: You get like you know, private escorts to games and
Speaker 1: the buses and like state these really fancy hotels and
Speaker 1: all the fancy dinners and all that stuff. And like
Speaker 1: I walked into Collingwood and the first time I went there,
Speaker 1: They're like, how good is this? This is the greatest
Speaker 1: facility in all of Australia. And I was like, that's
Speaker 1: pretty shit.
Speaker 2: Comparative he was.
Speaker 1: I didn't really want to say it to him, but yeah,
Speaker 1: and he's no longer there, so I can say whatever
Speaker 1: I want.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I wasn't thoroughly impressed.
Speaker 1: It was impressive in a sense of like, you know,
Speaker 1: it's a professional environment the people there and all the
Speaker 1: different weights and all that kind of stuff. But if
Speaker 1: I were comparing it to what I had back in
Speaker 1: the university and some of the football stuff and basketball
Speaker 1: stuff that was there.
Speaker 2: It didn't probably stack up. Gordon Institute of Tafe was
Speaker 2: the same man. It was just private shuttles everywhere everywhere
Speaker 2: you want. Yeahs to be honest, I don't feel like
Speaker 2: lobster for lunch today. We got anything else on the Men?
Speaker 2: Anything anything? What's Oklahoma like? Because all I know is
Speaker 2: Oklahoma City thunder. I have no other reference points. I
Speaker 2: think tornadoes ripped through.
Speaker 1: There is the Tornado Alley we talk and we talked
Speaker 1: about on the podcast all the time with Tornado Alley,
Speaker 1: and Brendon always says, why the hell would you ever
Speaker 1: live in Tornado Alley? And that's literally I spent a
Speaker 1: whole life so barbering in Australia. Oklahoma is just flat planes,
Speaker 1: whole whole state flat planes. And then there's Oklahoma City.
Speaker 1: There's Norman South there and then there's still Water.
Speaker 2: Well. Went to University's about an hour away.
Speaker 1: So you have the university towns, which are awesome because
Speaker 1: like university Town's you got tailgag. You know, it's like
Speaker 1: the whole college experience and everything else, which I try
Speaker 1: to touch on, but try not to touch on it
Speaker 1: too much.
Speaker 2: Because I'm like, get in trouble. I'm still playing, but
Speaker 2: there's all that kind of stuff that happens, you know.
Speaker 1: And then like Oklahoma City is kind of like the
Speaker 1: city that's kind of close to not a massive per
Speaker 1: se city in the in the country. It's a lot
Speaker 1: of oil and gas industries there and everything else. But
Speaker 1: the team is there, the Oklahoma City Thunder. They've got
Speaker 1: Josh Giddy, who's obviously Australian, and.
Speaker 2: Twelve gallon cowboy hats that kind of stuff, is it, Yeah,
Speaker 2: like real cowboys?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, genuine like two step in like little honkey
Speaker 1: tonks at school and stuff.
Speaker 2: Man, the holy thing. Yeah, you had to learn how
Speaker 2: to step in college. What's what's too?
Speaker 1: Is it like the type of dance but square dance?
Speaker 1: Square dancing's kind of like that but different. We were
Speaker 1: all the girls and stuff.
Speaker 2: We got the nutbush, mate, we get it. We got
Speaker 2: the nut bush. Hey. I recently saw there was like
Speaker 2: the world's largest.
Speaker 1: Nut bush like gathering in Australia, like a year ago,
Speaker 1: I want to say, in the middle of nowhere. We'll
Speaker 1: have to look it up recently. But I didn't know
Speaker 1: what the nut bush was until then. And then I
Speaker 1: saw like two thousand people doing at the same time.
Speaker 1: I was like, this must be a thing.
Speaker 2: I don't know. Yeah, because I only found out that
Speaker 2: the Nutbush is really Australian. I never heard of it. Yeah, no,
Speaker 2: that's what. How do you do the nut Bush? No?
Speaker 2: Because I find it's the communism of dancing. I'm like,
Speaker 2: we're all doing the same, are we? I can't even
Speaker 2: cut a rug on my own. No, I'm freestyling. I'm
Speaker 2: not doing this. It's not freestyle. The nut Bush. You
Speaker 2: know where the whole name comes from. Well, the I
Speaker 2: mean nutbush limits Is that what it is? Yeah, that's
Speaker 2: it all card But that's what because it's an old
Speaker 2: Tina Turner and Ike song. That's what I thought I
Speaker 2: was from America. It's no, No, we just somehow created us.
Speaker 2: Did it for? I think Australian men who don't have
Speaker 2: rhythm where they like just follow suit like this and
Speaker 2: this is your peacocky, rather than standing in the corner
Speaker 2: getting yourself extremely drunk and slurring your way to a
Speaker 2: woman at about midnight. That's me. That's me.
Speaker 1: If I try to dance. Actually would have thought I
Speaker 1: tried to dance. It's really a hazard elbows you know,
Speaker 1: just like head height copped a few in the head.
Speaker 1: Some of the girls ever walking past could image never
Speaker 1: the greatest intro.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you that, you know, talking about the division
Speaker 2: between Americans and Australians. Got a good friend of mine,
Speaker 2: Monty Franklin, who I started doing stand up with, and
Speaker 2: he now lives in LA and he's a great stand
Speaker 2: up Monty, and he was telling me a story where
Speaker 2: and you would have found this out when you came
Speaker 2: across here, is that in America you don't do hip
Speaker 2: hip paray at the end of Happy Birthday, do no.
Speaker 1: You guys go on a hole like you know, you know,
Speaker 1: you guys go on the whole like you go longer
Speaker 1: after the actual song, talking trash.
Speaker 2: And whatever it is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's like the extension of the Happy Birthday is
Speaker 1: actually longer than the happy Birthday song here, well it's
Speaker 1: happy birthdays.
Speaker 2: You get to the end. And I always say, because
Speaker 2: I've got young kids that when you're at a kids
Speaker 2: party too, I'm looking at the parents going, you've got
Speaker 2: a hip hop paray. This is your this is your
Speaker 2: job now, like you don't want to stranger gun, Well,
Speaker 2: I guess I'm leading the parade hip hop, and then
Speaker 2: everyone goes hooray, and we do that three times and
Speaker 2: then if you're want to there, well it was he
Speaker 2: born so beautiful and there's just some You're right, it
Speaker 2: just keeps it just keeps going. Yeah, it's like we
Speaker 2: can't say goodbye to each other. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: like that's we keep doing that. But my mate learnt
Speaker 2: the hard way because he said he was in America.
Speaker 2: Oh no, you're all doing happy birthday, and he said
Speaker 2: with confidence, he's gone hip hop and everyone's gone, what
Speaker 2: did you just say? Because when you have it in isolation,
Speaker 2: what is hip hop? Like? It's not You realize it's
Speaker 2: a rally call. But if no one responds to the rally,
Speaker 2: you've just said something out loud, just two syllables.
Speaker 4: Hip At the prime moment of the end of the song,
Speaker 4: over goes quiet. You just decided it's my time to shine, and.
Speaker 2: He lent the worst way possible. Not everyone's like, what
Speaker 2: did you just happen? What happened?
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that would be degrading almost like I
Speaker 1: was spending thirty minutes but no one you're laughing at
Speaker 1: the Editburn Frinch Festival immigration you need to go take
Speaker 1: it just actually got citizenships?
Speaker 2: No chance anymore? You have yeah, official Aussie Wednesday. This happened.
Speaker 2: This happened four, four or five months ago. Did you
Speaker 2: get a little gum tree? I did. I got a
Speaker 2: little gun try and it died within a week. I
Speaker 2: mean idiot. I watered it and it just was like
Speaker 2: too much, too much. You can't take it out once
Speaker 2: you order it. So I was like, I'm stuffed. You
Speaker 2: got to trade a man, keep him cane gun. He's
Speaker 2: not only one so much water? Yeah? Was there anything
Speaker 2: else you needed to research to become in Australian? Do
Speaker 2: they all have the citizen?
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a test man and it's it's actually quite easy,
Speaker 1: but yeah, it's I think most Australians would probably fail
Speaker 1: it because a lot of Australians don't really care for
Speaker 1: patriotism per se here. No, it's a very big thing
Speaker 1: in America. In Australia it's kind of like ah whatever, mate,
Speaker 1: like Green and Gold, you know her Pepper Ray. Oh
Speaker 1: that Chatz it is, isn't it.
Speaker 2: We all have this little bit of It's like when
Speaker 2: I explained to phone as where they say, well, what's
Speaker 2: a bogan? And Americans usually say it's a red neck,
Speaker 2: but you go, yeah, but it's not because in the
Speaker 2: fact that redneck seems like a slight, like a flat out.
Speaker 2: If you said to someone with your redneck, they'll be like, well,
Speaker 2: what did you just call me? When Australia we have
Speaker 2: that thing, someone goes, you're a bit of a boguin
Speaker 2: and guaranteed everyone goes, yeah, yeah, a bit of a
Speaker 2: bug I'm proud of it. Yeah, we're a big ship.
Speaker 2: Like we all have that thing of like it's a
Speaker 2: badge of honor to be a bit ship and we
Speaker 2: all go yeah that, like to hang.
Speaker 1: Shit on each other is a thing. He just talked
Speaker 1: trash about each other. I came here and I was
Speaker 1: like literally blind. I was like, these people are freaking
Speaker 1: a householes everyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a sign of
Speaker 1: endearment totally.
Speaker 2: I used to follow a group on Facebook that was
Speaker 2: subtle Bogan traits and it genuinely made me laugh. Usually
Speaker 2: Facebook groups, you're like, ah, this is not good, and
Speaker 2: people put up memes and they're a bit shit. But
Speaker 2: this one was just little things that you notice that
Speaker 2: we all do and you go, yeah, that's very funny,
Speaker 2: Like things like having the fridge door open. No one's
Speaker 2: ever not sworn at when the fridge door starts beeping
Speaker 2: at you know, it's like it starts coming b Get
Speaker 2: the fuck fucking shut up. And then the one that
Speaker 2: really made me laugh. And this is a very subtle
Speaker 2: Australian trait, and I reckon I could say one hundred
Speaker 2: percent of people do this in Australia when you say, ah,
Speaker 2: what can you do? But realistically there's heaps you can do.
Speaker 2: You know, we always come to a conclusion of like,
Speaker 2: what can you do? Probably heaps. They're probably heaps, So
Speaker 2: we all just come to that conclusion like nah, that's
Speaker 2: all the thing. He's a bit ship. Yeah, what are
Speaker 2: you going to do? We'll vote him out, Like there's
Speaker 2: heaps you could do, but we just go up. We're
Speaker 2: just like yeah nah nah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no. No.
Speaker 2: I always thought that was a weird I was like, okay,
Speaker 2: so yes or no no where, yes, I get it.
Speaker 2: You know. The closest thing I've noticed is that when
Speaker 2: I did travel to Srilanka, Oh this has come back
Speaker 2: on the pod come full circle?
Speaker 4: Is that?
Speaker 2: And anyone from the subcontinent have you traveled over there?
Speaker 2: To India. Na, it's on my list. I have to
Speaker 2: I really have to laugh because my partner said, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: you haven't seen this before. And everyone I talked to,
Speaker 2: like Dealick Joire Singer who's a great comedian. When I
Speaker 2: sit to him, I'm like, how is that reaction? Because
Speaker 2: there's a non committal, like a head nod that people
Speaker 2: will give you that doesn't mean anything, like you were
Speaker 2: quite off when I was in Trilanka and I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: so so I need to get to this other town.
Speaker 2: Is it easier? It is probably trained quicker, and they'll
Speaker 2: just go yeah, and it's like this head like, it's
Speaker 2: not a nod, it's not a shake of the head.
Speaker 2: It's just a movement of a head. Where you go,
Speaker 2: that wasn't an answer, could you just say to me?
Speaker 2: And they're just like, yeah, I just answered you to
Speaker 2: make sure that you got an answer. It's non committal
Speaker 2: either way. And I was like, oh, this is yeah
Speaker 2: nah ah, it's the Australian word of h let's go
Speaker 2: ahead and then just trail. Yeah. And if it goes
Speaker 2: tits up, I didn't give you that advice exactly, you'll
Speaker 2: never find me again. And if it does work out,
Speaker 2: you'd be like, oh, yeah, that guy kind of encourage me.
Speaker 2: You know, he's a really nice fere. I just don't
Speaker 2: really speak the language I think you were saying, go
Speaker 2: on the train, go on the trade. Just a non commitment. Gosh,
Speaker 2: that's so good man. We'll wrap it up on that man. Well,
Speaker 2: before I do that, I want to ask you the charity.
Speaker 1: I know you're part of the Big Umbrella you talked
Speaker 1: about Beyond Blue. Yes, some of the work you've done there.
Speaker 1: We love shoutowing out charities on the podcast to tell
Speaker 1: us some of the work you've done.
Speaker 2: The Big Umbrella tBu. They're great. You can look them
Speaker 2: up online. That they rescue food. So there's a lot
Speaker 2: of food wastage from a Baker's, supermarkets, whatever, and they
Speaker 2: rescue food, cook it up and then they give it
Speaker 2: to people living rough. So I started doing work with
Speaker 2: them during the lockdowns and pandemic and they do amazing
Speaker 2: work and it's so great delivering food to people who
Speaker 2: are living rough and this is sometimes the only hot
Speaker 2: meal that they've got for the week, and it is
Speaker 2: amazing when you think the amount of wastage that we
Speaker 2: do have, but it doesn't take relatively a lot of
Speaker 2: effort to cook all that stuff up and then deliver
Speaker 2: it to people. And there's like I realized you're in that.
Speaker 2: Like food is just the international handshake for everyone. If
Speaker 2: you're giving someone food, they're not going to be like,
Speaker 2: oh what's this about. They're like, oh, thank you, this
Speaker 2: is really lovely, very apprecive. Yeah, and it's just and
Speaker 2: you think it's effort because it's that's all it is.
Speaker 2: Like it's not relatively costing anything because this is food
Speaker 2: that people didn't want. It's so true. I feel like
Speaker 2: like whenever you get to a supermarket, everything there is perfect.
Speaker 2: You realize that whenever you go to a fine not
Speaker 2: everything's perfect now. So only the best of the beast
Speaker 2: makes it to the supermarket where there's so much that's
Speaker 2: kind of wasted that you can actually use on a
Speaker 2: different thing. So it's cool to see places like that
Speaker 2: doing it. Yeah, and they get a lot of corporate
Speaker 2: people coming in and so the corporate teams will help out,
Speaker 2: and every time that people finish, they say, oh, this
Speaker 2: is this is so much fun. Because also opposed to
Speaker 2: like white collar work, which a lot of us do
Speaker 2: our laptops doing all the work is that you it's physical,
Speaker 2: it's meant just manual labor. It's crunt work, and it's
Speaker 2: quite nice because you start and then you do it
Speaker 2: and then you finish. Yeah, you know, it's not like
Speaker 2: an office job where you go, I'll just leave now
Speaker 2: and I'll come back to where I left it yesterday.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean. You feel like you've you've
Speaker 2: physically done something physically. Yeah. Yeah, and the people are
Speaker 2: really grateful for it. So yeah, check it out the
Speaker 2: big umbrella. That's the thing. I thank you.
Speaker 1: You probably you've probably come out of that feeling better,
Speaker 1: you know, doing something for someone else. Yeah, it's that cliche,
Speaker 1: you know, like you feel better for doing something positive
Speaker 1: for someone else, not necessarily for yourself.
Speaker 2: Admitediately my barner. I can't really cook. She's like to
Speaker 2: take cooking. Is that your cooking? Lesnses going there? Well,
Speaker 2: people tell me what to do, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: I don't have that. Like quite often there will be
Speaker 2: chefs that also volunteer, and so they'll get in there
Speaker 2: go then needs a bit assault and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 2: that's that's what I thought. Because I'm very bad at it,
Speaker 2: and so She's like, you can't cook for us, but
Speaker 2: you cook for them. I don't know. We all have
Speaker 2: our strengths. We all have our strengths. We'll do our
Speaker 2: own things. Oh man, all right, well, thanks so much
Speaker 2: for coming on mate, Absolute pleasure.
Speaker 1: It's so good stories. A lot of the travel stories
Speaker 1: are awesome. I feel like we need to riff on
Speaker 1: this a bit more, but allan sty thanks so much
Speaker 1: for coming on mate. I want to shout out to
Speaker 1: the seven platforms.
Speaker 2: So we are Apple, Spotify, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram.
Speaker 2: Check us all out and check out Dave on his platforms.
Speaker 2: And what is your user name? Dave underscore Thorno. So
Speaker 2: get that on the Instagram. You get that onto, I
Speaker 2: said the Instagram. The Insta makes you sound like an
Speaker 2: old man, you know. TikTok all that the meta yeah,
Speaker 2: the metaverse. Yeah, just get onto it. There for all
Speaker 2: stand up content and any touring details that I have. Beautiful,
Speaker 2: well too easy. Thanks so much for going on, and
Speaker 2: hopefully we get to catch up in soon