WEBVTT - 😈 The One Thing All Mean Girls Do  😈

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<v Speaker 1>Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex

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<v Speaker 1>and Frooms catch up podcast. You are with Flex and

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<v Speaker 1>Rooms on CATA. There's a particular type of person that's

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<v Speaker 1>being unearthed as the real villain. People pleasers have had

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<v Speaker 1>their moment, people a kind of realizing that maybe you

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<v Speaker 1>know it's not always for the best. Overbearing parents have

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<v Speaker 1>had their moment where everyone's like, maybe I didn't need

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<v Speaker 1>all this extra attention from you. But there's another demographic

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<v Speaker 1>of person that I feel like people are becoming more

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<v Speaker 1>aware of. And I don't know what to do with

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<v Speaker 1>this information, but listen to this video by Unstable Brat

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<v Speaker 1>for a bit of insight.

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<v Speaker 2>Maturing as a woman is realizing the girls who overly

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<v Speaker 2>compliment you on just like way too nice when you

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<v Speaker 2>first meet them are actually evil, like actually evil and

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<v Speaker 2>not genuine at all. Like that is mature as a woman.

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<v Speaker 2>I will no longer every time a girl comes up

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<v Speaker 2>to me and she's like, oh my god, it's so

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<v Speaker 2>high seas, I'm like ahh.

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<v Speaker 1>In my heart and head. I've always seen it like

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<v Speaker 1>a classic mean girl tactic, and that's why I get

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<v Speaker 1>very paranod and people do this one thing, the thing

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<v Speaker 1>I'm talking about is over complimenting. I don't like it.

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<v Speaker 1>I always feel really really uncomfortable when someone's going out

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<v Speaker 1>of their way to really point out I mean, even

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<v Speaker 1>said to you when we first art the show, stop

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<v Speaker 1>talking about how I look, because it doesn't feel genuine

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<v Speaker 1>when it's like layered, and because we see each other

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<v Speaker 1>so much, I'm like, I always look this way. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want a new compliments freaking me out. But I

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<v Speaker 1>don't think it's the compliment that's getting me. What I

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<v Speaker 1>think is the issue is flattery. And it's one thing

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<v Speaker 1>to be flattered by someone who you know that you

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<v Speaker 1>haven't have like a mutual connection with, right, and you

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<v Speaker 1>know it's actly where it's coming from. But sometimes you

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<v Speaker 1>meet a stranger and you're kind of like, why are

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<v Speaker 1>you flattering me so hard? Or you know, when someone's

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<v Speaker 1>selling you something and they're flattering, oh gosh, you're so smart.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh gosh. Yeah, when I was your age, Oh I

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<v Speaker 1>wish I had this kind of money or whatever, you're

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<v Speaker 1>kind of like, oh, I understand the transaction, that's because

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<v Speaker 1>that's happening here. So flattery is most commonly disdefined. So

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<v Speaker 1>flattery is most commonly defined as excessive praise that can

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<v Speaker 1>come across as insinsious, not just praise, not a compliment, excessive.

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<v Speaker 1>So what happens is and this is from Wikipedia, by

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<v Speaker 1>the way, they say that people who are naive or needy,

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<v Speaker 1>or impressionable or egocentric can view flattery as genuine praise.

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<v Speaker 1>Discerning people understand flattery to be disingenuous, false praise motivated

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<v Speaker 1>by an agenda. And I don't know if you've had

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<v Speaker 1>this feeling of like when you and your friends meet

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<v Speaker 1>somebody in new and one person is off it like

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<v Speaker 1>I don't really like them, like I don't know what

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<v Speaker 1>it is, and everyone's like, but that's so nice. They

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<v Speaker 1>were like complimenting you all the time, and they ask

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<v Speaker 1>you all these questions like what's to go wrong? Flattery

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<v Speaker 1>is the word. And so, oddly enough, as I was

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<v Speaker 1>doing more research into this, because I was like, damn, like,

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<v Speaker 1>it's weird that sometimes things that seem intuitive either are

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<v Speaker 1>not and they're just like your own insecurity is being

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<v Speaker 1>projected back on other people or they are. So when

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<v Speaker 1>you go onto the Wikipedia page of flattery, the related

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<v Speaker 1>pages are love bombing, manipulation, and superficial charm. So the

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<v Speaker 1>point is not to give compliments freely, because I really

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<v Speaker 1>like giving compliments. I think it's really important to let

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<v Speaker 1>people know when they're looking good, when they're doing amazing things.

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<v Speaker 1>It's really important. But also don't be surprised if it

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't always land because people have really weird relationships to

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<v Speaker 1>being told that they're good or smart or beautiful. And

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<v Speaker 1>it's like, would be really uncomfortable to accidentally trigger someone

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<v Speaker 1>when you were trying to be nice because you can't,

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<v Speaker 1>you can't like make them feel that you're being sincere afterwards.

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<v Speaker 1>I've had it before and it heaps awkward, as in

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<v Speaker 1>you've experienced it, or you've done it, and I've experienced

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<v Speaker 1>it heaps. That's why I don't like people talking about me.

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<v Speaker 1>But when I had done it, knowing what I know,

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh, like, why is this not landing?

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<v Speaker 1>And I think what happens is when you do it

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<v Speaker 1>to strangers. So I walked past this girl on when

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<v Speaker 1>I was on a plane and she's wearing the best outfit.

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<v Speaker 1>The plane is being borded, so I wasn't gonna stop,

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<v Speaker 1>but I was like, I'm gonna love your outfit, and

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<v Speaker 1>she was like she kind of grimmaced a little bit,

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<v Speaker 1>and I was like, oh, I can see why. Like

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<v Speaker 1>she's sitting down, I'm towering on top of her. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>walking a pass. I didn't even stop. Like she looked

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<v Speaker 1>at herself really self consciously, and I was like, okay, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>hit a Mark noted noted, We'll not be doing that again.

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<v Speaker 1>You've been listening to the Flex and Frooms Daily podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>For more, tune Indicator on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.