Speaker 1: Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex
Speaker 1: and Frooms catch up podcast. You are with Flex and
Speaker 1: Rooms on CATA. There's a particular type of person that's
Speaker 1: being unearthed as the real villain. People pleasers have had
Speaker 1: their moment, people a kind of realizing that maybe you
Speaker 1: know it's not always for the best. Overbearing parents have
Speaker 1: had their moment where everyone's like, maybe I didn't need
Speaker 1: all this extra attention from you. But there's another demographic
Speaker 1: of person that I feel like people are becoming more
Speaker 1: aware of. And I don't know what to do with
Speaker 1: this information, but listen to this video by Unstable Brat
Speaker 1: for a bit of insight.
Speaker 2: Maturing as a woman is realizing the girls who overly
Speaker 2: compliment you on just like way too nice when you
Speaker 2: first meet them are actually evil, like actually evil and
Speaker 2: not genuine at all. Like that is mature as a woman.
Speaker 2: I will no longer every time a girl comes up
Speaker 2: to me and she's like, oh my god, it's so
Speaker 2: high seas, I'm like ahh.
Speaker 1: In my heart and head. I've always seen it like
Speaker 1: a classic mean girl tactic, and that's why I get
Speaker 1: very paranod and people do this one thing, the thing
Speaker 1: I'm talking about is over complimenting. I don't like it.
Speaker 1: I always feel really really uncomfortable when someone's going out
Speaker 1: of their way to really point out I mean, even
Speaker 1: said to you when we first art the show, stop
Speaker 1: talking about how I look, because it doesn't feel genuine
Speaker 1: when it's like layered, and because we see each other
Speaker 1: so much, I'm like, I always look this way. I
Speaker 1: don't want a new compliments freaking me out. But I
Speaker 1: don't think it's the compliment that's getting me. What I
Speaker 1: think is the issue is flattery. And it's one thing
Speaker 1: to be flattered by someone who you know that you
Speaker 1: haven't have like a mutual connection with, right, and you
Speaker 1: know it's actly where it's coming from. But sometimes you
Speaker 1: meet a stranger and you're kind of like, why are
Speaker 1: you flattering me so hard? Or you know, when someone's
Speaker 1: selling you something and they're flattering, oh gosh, you're so smart.
Speaker 1: Oh gosh. Yeah, when I was your age, Oh I
Speaker 1: wish I had this kind of money or whatever, you're
Speaker 1: kind of like, oh, I understand the transaction, that's because
Speaker 1: that's happening here. So flattery is most commonly disdefined. So
Speaker 1: flattery is most commonly defined as excessive praise that can
Speaker 1: come across as insinsious, not just praise, not a compliment, excessive.
Speaker 1: So what happens is and this is from Wikipedia, by
Speaker 1: the way, they say that people who are naive or needy,
Speaker 1: or impressionable or egocentric can view flattery as genuine praise.
Speaker 1: Discerning people understand flattery to be disingenuous, false praise motivated
Speaker 1: by an agenda. And I don't know if you've had
Speaker 1: this feeling of like when you and your friends meet
Speaker 1: somebody in new and one person is off it like
Speaker 1: I don't really like them, like I don't know what
Speaker 1: it is, and everyone's like, but that's so nice. They
Speaker 1: were like complimenting you all the time, and they ask
Speaker 1: you all these questions like what's to go wrong? Flattery
Speaker 1: is the word. And so, oddly enough, as I was
Speaker 1: doing more research into this, because I was like, damn, like,
Speaker 1: it's weird that sometimes things that seem intuitive either are
Speaker 1: not and they're just like your own insecurity is being
Speaker 1: projected back on other people or they are. So when
Speaker 1: you go onto the Wikipedia page of flattery, the related
Speaker 1: pages are love bombing, manipulation, and superficial charm. So the
Speaker 1: point is not to give compliments freely, because I really
Speaker 1: like giving compliments. I think it's really important to let
Speaker 1: people know when they're looking good, when they're doing amazing things.
Speaker 1: It's really important. But also don't be surprised if it
Speaker 1: doesn't always land because people have really weird relationships to
Speaker 1: being told that they're good or smart or beautiful. And
Speaker 1: it's like, would be really uncomfortable to accidentally trigger someone
Speaker 1: when you were trying to be nice because you can't,
Speaker 1: you can't like make them feel that you're being sincere afterwards.
Speaker 1: I've had it before and it heaps awkward, as in
Speaker 1: you've experienced it, or you've done it, and I've experienced
Speaker 1: it heaps. That's why I don't like people talking about me.
Speaker 1: But when I had done it, knowing what I know,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, like, why is this not landing?
Speaker 1: And I think what happens is when you do it
Speaker 1: to strangers. So I walked past this girl on when
Speaker 1: I was on a plane and she's wearing the best outfit.
Speaker 1: The plane is being borded, so I wasn't gonna stop,
Speaker 1: but I was like, I'm gonna love your outfit, and
Speaker 1: she was like she kind of grimmaced a little bit,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, I can see why. Like
Speaker 1: she's sitting down, I'm towering on top of her. I'm
Speaker 1: walking a pass. I didn't even stop. Like she looked
Speaker 1: at herself really self consciously, and I was like, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: hit a Mark noted noted, We'll not be doing that again.
Speaker 1: You've been listening to the Flex and Frooms Daily podcast.
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