WEBVTT - ASK UNCUT: "Can I uninvite a groomsman from the wedding?"

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<v Speaker 1>Now it is time for our favorite segment. This is

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<v Speaker 1>what we do every week on the podcast Life Uncut.

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<v Speaker 1>It's called Ask Uncut Were you writing? Or you call

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<v Speaker 1>up with your biggest conundrum. Now on the line, we

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<v Speaker 1>have Sam who is having a bit of an issue

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<v Speaker 1>with his wedding. Hi.

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<v Speaker 2>Sam, Hey, how are you guys?

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<v Speaker 3>Sam? What's going on?

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm hoping you guys can help. We put the

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<v Speaker 2>wedding together later on this year and it got delayed

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<v Speaker 2>you to COVID, so it's sort a bit in the

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<v Speaker 2>works for a while. But we're looking at the guest list.

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<v Speaker 2>We're looking at the bridal party now and one of

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<v Speaker 2>my mates who I asked to be my groomsman, I

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<v Speaker 2>think we've grown a part of it, like it would

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<v Speaker 2>feel weird him being there, And I do.

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<v Speaker 3>You want him at the wedding? You just don't want

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<v Speaker 3>him as a groomsman?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I don't think either, but I definitely we don't

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<v Speaker 2>want rooms Hang.

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<v Speaker 1>On, you're just trying to say you don't want him

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<v Speaker 1>as a groomsman anymore.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like if I asked him not to be

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<v Speaker 2>a grous when it'd be weird if he was at

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<v Speaker 2>the wedding.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, you can obviously un ask someone to be

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<v Speaker 3>a groosman or a bridesmad, especially if it's been five

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<v Speaker 3>years or four years.

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<v Speaker 1>But if they haven't done anything, But.

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<v Speaker 3>I think you have to accept that it's friendship ending.

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<v Speaker 3>Like I think that that could be something that ends

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<v Speaker 3>the friendship if they turn around and they really hurt me.

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<v Speaker 3>Would you be okay with it to be friendship ending?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think it has to be friendship ending. It's

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<v Speaker 1>only friendship ending if you cancel him from the whole wedding.

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<v Speaker 1>But I think you can demote someone from groomsman duties

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<v Speaker 1>to just a bridle attendee if it's the right reason.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you reckon it? He would be okay sitting there

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<v Speaker 2>at a different table.

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<v Speaker 3>Would do you think? Do you think that it's something

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<v Speaker 3>that could end your friendship if you demote him from

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<v Speaker 3>being a groomsman or or don't invite him at all.

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<v Speaker 2>I've never had to do it before, so it just

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<v Speaker 2>feels like a tricky situation.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, here's what I think. I think uninviting someone completely

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<v Speaker 1>to the wedding is like huge and will be friendship ending.

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<v Speaker 1>But I think just demoting him to attendee is not

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<v Speaker 1>friendship ending. I just think you have to say, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>we we've rearranged the bride all party a little bit.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just having my brother and my lifelong friend. There's

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<v Speaker 1>been a few budget cuts in the federal election, but

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<v Speaker 1>a few budget cuts. You're still so important to me

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<v Speaker 1>and I still really want you there. And yeah, I hope,

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<v Speaker 1>I hope you understand. It was really it's a really

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<v Speaker 1>hard conversation to have how many grooms?

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<v Speaker 3>When do you have?

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<v Speaker 1>Though?

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<v Speaker 2>So I was going to have three?

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<v Speaker 3>So he was, And is your partner still having she

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<v Speaker 3>got three bridesmaids and you're just cutting one or she

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<v Speaker 3>got two?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, no, she's still gladd to have three.

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<v Speaker 3>And you can. You can do whatever you want. But

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<v Speaker 3>I don't agree with Britt. I think he's going to

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<v Speaker 3>be offended and you probably are not going to be

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<v Speaker 3>that good of friends afterwards. However, it sounds like you're

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<v Speaker 3>kind of not really friends now.

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<v Speaker 1>He probably doesn't want the responsibility.

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<v Speaker 2>He's probably like, oh yes, thank god, Yeah, there's a

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<v Speaker 2>good shared I think maybe I could just beat him

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<v Speaker 2>at one of the tables at the back.

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<v Speaker 3>I've got a question. Has he bought his suit?

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<v Speaker 2>No, we didn't get that far because COVID canceled it.

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<v Speaker 3>So that's has he planned accommodation and everything.

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<v Speaker 2>No, no, not yet, we're revisiting it now.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, look, I mean, you know you're probably not going

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<v Speaker 3>to be his close friends when you're telling me you

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<v Speaker 3>can't come to the wedding. But like, I think maybe

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<v Speaker 3>a demoting is better than a cancelor toge.

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<v Speaker 1>I demote like for sure. And also chances are if

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<v Speaker 1>you feel this way that you've grown apart, it's not

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<v Speaker 1>going to come as a shock to him, like he's

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<v Speaker 1>going to say, oh, yeah, totally, we haven't seen j

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<v Speaker 1>other in years. Like, I don't think it'll be as shocking,

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<v Speaker 1>and you just have to explain it the right way. Yeah, no,

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<v Speaker 1>but don't cancel him, and don't put him near the toilet, Sam,

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<v Speaker 1>come on, don't put him near the stinker. If you're

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<v Speaker 1>devoting him, he's still got to be at a good table.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you,