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Speaker 1: Get a.

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Speaker 2: I'm Lalla Berry, nutritionist, author, actor, TV presenter, and professional overshaer.

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Speaker 2: This podcast is all about celebrating failure because I believe

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Speaker 2: it's a chance for us to learn, grow and face

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Speaker 2: our blind spots. Each week, I'll interview a different guest

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Speaker 2: about their highs as well as their lows, all in

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Speaker 2: a bid to inspire us to fearlessly fails. Hello, Welcome

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Speaker 2: to the pod. You know you know when you meet

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Speaker 2: someone and you're like, oh, I think you could be

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Speaker 2: my mate. Well that is today's guest. Jade could well mate.

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Speaker 2: I could have chit chatted all day long. I completely

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Speaker 2: lost track of time. I love this chat because Jade's

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Speaker 2: just super open and she's kind of like what you

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Speaker 2: see is what you get kind of gal and I

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Speaker 2: love that. And we talk about loads of stuff, like

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Speaker 2: literally like very deep details of giving birth. Like I

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Speaker 2: felt so safe to just ask so many questions that

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't be able to ask someone that wasn't that

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Speaker 2: much a legend like that, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: She was just like, eh, just totally opened up. We

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Speaker 2: talk about anxiety, We talked about postonal repression, so much

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Speaker 2: really honest stuff. And she's a no frills girl. So

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Speaker 2: I really hope you love this chat. I, Like I said,

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Speaker 2: I could have just sat there and chit chated all

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Speaker 2: day long. And of course she's one half of the

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Speaker 2: very successful Beyond the Bump pod that I was lucky

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Speaker 2: enough to go on and talk about my IBF journey

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Speaker 2: on that pod. That was the first place I ever

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Speaker 2: spoke about it. So yeah, over over to Jade and

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Speaker 2: this episode, I hope you love it. Like I said,

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Speaker 2: I at absolutely loved it. Jade, You're a ripper of

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Speaker 2: a human big love. I have to hit record because

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Speaker 2: if I don't.

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Speaker 1: We won't record.

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Speaker 2: We won't record. We'll have all these great chats off

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Speaker 2: the mic. Jade could well I saying that right now?

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Speaker 2: You are Oh thank god correct, Oh thank you mate.

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Speaker 2: When I jumped on your incredible pod be on the Bump,

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Speaker 2: I was like, well, I feel like I'm mates.

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Speaker 1: It's like it was love at first sight.

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Speaker 3: You know, when you just connect with someone, you're like

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Speaker 3: you're a fucking legend.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, that is exactly here we are.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 1: I'm in your.

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Speaker 2: Pod and I'm so wrapped to have you on the pod.

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Speaker 2: You are First of all, can I say before Mama

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Speaker 2: Bear of three and some pappuccinos as well, a little

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Speaker 2: bit of a style icon this stop it, stop it, No, seriously,

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Speaker 2: I've saved things off and I'm like to matter, Oh,

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Speaker 2: I think I want to get this set. You've got

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Speaker 2: some very nice.

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Speaker 1: Look it's been. Instagram is a.

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Speaker 2: Wild world and I feel.

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Speaker 3: Like it's a fun you can you can be creative

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Speaker 3: on there. You can go in any direction you want,

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Speaker 3: and that's what I've done for I think I've been

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Speaker 3: on there for like ten years. As soon as it

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Speaker 3: came out, you said you've been.

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Speaker 1: In og Yeah, I was just sort of you should see.

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Speaker 3: Like I have an old account, which was so my

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Speaker 3: current account is London.

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Speaker 2: Boston, this two poochs a pug. Yeah, my two pugs.

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Speaker 2: That's how it started.

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Speaker 3: And my original account was Boston ex London and that

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Speaker 3: had like just pugs. I actually started Pugstagram, which still

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Speaker 3: is running, but I lost the password and I sort

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Speaker 3: of wigged out and I was like, oh, then I

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Speaker 3: had kids, and I was like, oh, you know what,

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Speaker 3: I don't have time for pugs and kids and posting.

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Speaker 3: So I just kind of just stuck to like changing

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Speaker 3: nappies and posting photos of the kids and the dogs

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Speaker 3: were still getting loved. I just wasn't doing two act

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Speaker 3: I couldn't do two accounts a one time. So anyway,

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Speaker 3: then a few years later, you know, the fashion side

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Speaker 3: of things came onto it, and it's just been really

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Speaker 3: fun to you know, find bright, colorful.

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Speaker 1: Things and feel good.

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Speaker 3: I am a absolute what do you call it? A oh,

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Speaker 3: what's the word? I always do this. This is where

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Speaker 3: usually Sophie catches.

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Speaker 2: Me and oh, really, I feel like you're such a

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Speaker 2: creative and you've got so many different creative outlets.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't stop. Some brain's going in all the

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Speaker 3: different directions. But I am a advocate for the mum gunt.

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Speaker 3: So I like to wear dresses and shirts and pants

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Speaker 3: that really make you comfortable in that area, make you

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Speaker 3: feel sexy, make you feel supported, and not make you

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Speaker 3: feel like, oh I don't feel good when.

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Speaker 1: I'm walking out. So everything I.

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Speaker 2: Buy usually is a oversized shirt, an oversized T shirt,

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Speaker 2: or high.

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Speaker 1: Pants that actually tuck in and yeah, well.

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Speaker 2: You look hot af mate, So thanks? Do you do it?

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Speaker 2: Have it?

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Speaker 1: Okay?

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Speaker 2: I have loved soaking you up, and not just because

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Speaker 2: of the topics that you're like fearless in like tackling.

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Speaker 2: But I just feel like there is absolutely no filter.

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Speaker 2: It's just like, yeah, this is me, this is who

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Speaker 2: I am, and I'm going to share honestly and hopefully

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Speaker 2: that resonates with someone I get that does that kind

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Speaker 2: of like your whole remo.

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Speaker 1: That's it.

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Speaker 3: And I always say that I wish that I had

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Speaker 3: this like profession or I had a you know, certificate

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Speaker 3: in yeah I have.

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Speaker 1: I've said it a lot.

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Speaker 3: And I'm only just realizing and we said it before

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Speaker 3: before we started recording that I'm only just finding that

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Speaker 3: perhaps my magic is who I am, just as who

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Speaker 3: I am, and this is it. So my oversharing, my

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Speaker 3: no filter, my you know, I go on one direction and

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Speaker 3: cut off to another. That is just who I am.

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Speaker 3: And if people love that and they find that endearing,

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Speaker 3: then that's fantastic. But it's more this journey at the

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Speaker 3: moment is about me and my self love and actually

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Speaker 3: knowing that I'm actually a really good human and what

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Speaker 3: I'm doing is absolutely who I am.

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Speaker 2: I love it.

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Speaker 1: Wow, keep going, mate, I'm trying to keep I'm trying.

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Speaker 2: We've got to talk about your incredible pod. Is it true,

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Speaker 2: it exists because Sophie was like, yo, can I interview?

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Speaker 3: So Sophie and I had never met, and we followed

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Speaker 3: each other on Instagram and we just liked each other,

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Speaker 3: like you know when you follow.

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Speaker 1: Me, like you're a legend. Now you're a legend.

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Speaker 3: So we had this sort of bond. Anyway, we met

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Speaker 3: for the first time and we hit it off. We're like, yep,

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Speaker 3: we're both legends. And then she messaged me and she's like,

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Speaker 3: I was thinking I went on a podcast and I

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Speaker 3: was thinking of starting my own. Would you come on

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Speaker 3: and talk about like your postnatal depression? And I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: for sure. And then we sort of started talking and

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Speaker 3: then I had so many ideas and then we I

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Speaker 3: was like, you know what, we should just do it together.

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Speaker 3: Why don't we do it together. Had no idea how

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Speaker 3: to do a podcast, had no idea how to record

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Speaker 3: a podcast, had no idea what equipment we needed, didn't

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Speaker 3: know if we would work together, didn't know if co

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Speaker 3: hosting was the right thing to do. We just we

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Speaker 3: sat outside on my balcony, windy as fuck. Like the

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Speaker 3: first episode. I don't think I've listened to like for ages,

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Speaker 3: but it is so raw.

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Speaker 2: No, but I love that I have loved deep driving

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Speaker 2: the pod. I love that the part changes. Yeah, and

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Speaker 2: I think everyone's pot if you go back, the sound

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Speaker 2: total changes and things change about it.

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Speaker 1: Do you know? The beauty of this one, though, is

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Speaker 1: with our audience.

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Speaker 3: They've grown with us from the start, So what they

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Speaker 3: learned from us, we are learning from each other, and

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Speaker 3: that's taken us all together right up until now. So

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Speaker 3: that in itself is such a special experience, surreal.

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Speaker 1: It's really weird.

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Speaker 3: And we don't like we talk about it sometimes we're like,

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Speaker 3: we don't know this even happened or what's going on,

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Speaker 3: But we look back of where we started and where

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Speaker 3: we are now and we're like, we.

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Speaker 1: Are so lucky to have each other. We're so lucky.

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Speaker 3: That we have the listeners that we do that really

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Speaker 3: love each episode and the guests that we have on you.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, we're just wrapped.

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Speaker 2: But also, and I've got it if I haven't said

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Speaker 2: it already, beyond the bump in credit, beyond the listen notes,

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Speaker 2: But it's just not only an incredible pod, but it's

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Speaker 2: also like king of the crop of all the parenting,

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Speaker 2: Like it's really really successful.

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Speaker 1: So that's a.

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Speaker 2: Testament to you guys and how you said, like, well,

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Speaker 2: we didn't know if co hosting. Co hosting is freaking hard,

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Speaker 2: you guys have we were saying for its beatiful like

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Speaker 2: ying and yang kind of vibe. We're like and it

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Speaker 2: was actually so fun to be on the other side

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Speaker 2: of that where you guys were like bouncing off questions

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Speaker 2: and you can see your questions were like, hang on,

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Speaker 2: a question was like, so let's talk about this, but

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Speaker 2: like there was that's like one one half is like

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Speaker 2: this beautiful structure and the other half is like, but

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Speaker 2: what about this great Yeah, And the beauty of this

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Speaker 2: is that like Sofa and I came sof and I

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Speaker 2: started this thinking we were so similar, Like we were

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Speaker 2: like no, we're like, like we know, we're like, we

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Speaker 2: dressed the same, we kin'd of act the same. But

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Speaker 2: as we started, we like as.

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Speaker 3: We went along, we were like, we couldn't be more

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Speaker 3: different if we tried. Yeah, and that's what we're that's

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Speaker 3: the beauty. Yeah, Yeah, it's yeah, it's so cool.

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Speaker 2: It's like chalk and cheese or And this is brings

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Speaker 2: me to the thing that I'm so excited to talk

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Speaker 2: to you about even though I know it's a reasonably

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Speaker 2: heavy topic, but I love the way you're so passionate

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Speaker 2: about it. I just think in general mental health, you're

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Speaker 2: a massive advocate for mental health. You've shared so honestly

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Speaker 2: and vulnerably vulnerably on not just the POT, on your

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Speaker 2: own Insta page as well. And I've seen all these

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Speaker 2: and like interviews you've done, and you've just been like

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Speaker 2: straight down the line about your So this is where

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Speaker 2: I always want to call it the wrong thing.

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Speaker 1: Go on, tell them what you want to call it.

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Speaker 2: Post nat or depression. But I called it before. She

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Speaker 2: wasn't wrong post What do I call it? You? Post

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Speaker 2: mortem or something?

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Speaker 1: Post mortem depression?

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Speaker 2: And my boyfriend said, you cannot say that. That is

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Speaker 2: death law. And then you were like, well, hang on.

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Speaker 1: It's not much difference.

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Speaker 2: Because I've heard you talk about kind of like embracing

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Speaker 2: a new normal. But anyway we could talk about this,

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Speaker 2: I want to actually go back to like when you

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Speaker 2: were younger, there was like a bit of anxiety and

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Speaker 2: fear of fainting and stuff like that. Is that right?

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Speaker 3: So I've had mental health issues or challenges my entire life,

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Speaker 3: but I only recognize them in my late twenties, and

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Speaker 3: I I think as a.

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Speaker 1: Child, to go through your whole.

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Speaker 3: Childhood not knowing what's wrong, why you're having panic attacks,

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Speaker 3: what panic attacks are, what this feeling is inside is frightening.

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Speaker 3: Like when you understand anxiety, it's a feeling of not

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Speaker 3: having a certain control of your life.

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Speaker 1: And when you understand.

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Speaker 3: That, that's still a process to understand within itself. So

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Speaker 3: not knowing that at all is extremely terrifying. I hated

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Speaker 3: being alone, Yes, I really hated being alone on my own.

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Speaker 3: I wasn't left on my own, Like my parents didn't

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Speaker 3: just walk out of the house and go see we're

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Speaker 3: going to the party, because they had me when they

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Speaker 3: were eighteen years olds.

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Speaker 1: They're young parents.

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Speaker 3: But I just didn't like even if Mum went for

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Speaker 3: a walk anything, staying home after I'm an only child.

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Speaker 1: Not sure if that's a factor, but I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I don't know, but you know, I after school or

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Speaker 3: got walking to the bus stop, I'd just have these

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Speaker 3: panic attacks. And I used to wake up in the

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Speaker 3: middle of the night thinking that I was going to

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Speaker 3: die or I think anxiety is always what if? What

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Speaker 3: if I die in my sleep? What if I if

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Speaker 3: I have a panic attack. So my fear was fear itself. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and that was the scariest thing. It wasn't what people

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Speaker 3: were seeing. They could look at me and think I

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Speaker 3: was all calm and collected, but in my head I

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Speaker 3: was terrified. And this went on on and off for

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Speaker 3: my whole life. I even got brain scans because my parents.

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Speaker 3: You know, back then, it wasn't really spoken about mental health.

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Speaker 2: No one talks about it like now. It's great people

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Speaker 2: like you out there that are just like yo, y,

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Speaker 2: this is real for me, and it's probably real for

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Speaker 2: other people.

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Speaker 3: Which also makes a hope. It makes people think that

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Speaker 3: you're not alone. It's actually more normal to fear these

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Speaker 3: feelings than it is not to feel them.

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Speaker 2: One thousand percent, I think. And even the can I

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Speaker 2: say P and D, Is that the right, Yeah, let's

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Speaker 2: break it down P and D. But that's more common

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Speaker 2: than we even realize.

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Speaker 3: Well, that's the terrifying part of it, because you don't know,

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Speaker 3: like you can get P and D if you have

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Speaker 3: pre existing anxiety, you can do it. You can have

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Speaker 3: it even if you don't have that. It just can

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Speaker 3: come on from a trauma in a hospital during pregnancy,

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Speaker 3: I've heard is one of the biggest things if there's

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Speaker 3: challenges that you're going through. I mean, there's been so

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Speaker 3: many ups and downs, which everyone has in life, but

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Speaker 3: for me, they really really took a part of my

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Speaker 3: anxiety and my panic attacks and it led me down

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Speaker 3: a road. In the end, I feel like everything happens

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Speaker 3: when you, like when you have children. It's almost like

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Speaker 3: an epiphany happens. You're like, oh, so now I'm going

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Speaker 3: to do all the inner work. But I could have

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Speaker 3: done it, Like why why didn't you come to me

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Speaker 3: when I didn't have, you know, people that I was

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Speaker 3: caring for. No, no, no, let's do it now. But these

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Speaker 3: are the special things of children. They're hard work, they're exhausting,

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Speaker 3: they're beautiful, they're they make you laugh, they make you cry,

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Speaker 3: they make you fucking tired, but they make you learn

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Speaker 3: and make you do the work of who you are.

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Speaker 3: And that's what's been bringing like this whole mental health

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Speaker 3: chat out is my children. So I have them to

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Speaker 3: think it's amazing. They're sitting there going mom's dead mad.

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Speaker 3: But I'm like, no, I have you guys to think, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: have you guys to think?

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Speaker 2: So can we chat a little bit about your pregnancy

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Speaker 2: with Umi. Yeah great name, Yeah great. Well look I

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Speaker 2: can't credit this. My husband's like, you chose the last two,

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Speaker 2: I'm choosing this one. And he liked a Japanese name

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Speaker 2: you and he was like, that's it, So Yumi it was,

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Speaker 2: and she kind of she does look like a Yumi.

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Speaker 2: So they all have spunk, which is probably a testimate

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Speaker 2: to you. And so hang quickly, yeah, where does Harry

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Speaker 2: come from from? I think so every time every time

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Speaker 2: I meet someone new, people have this.

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Speaker 1: People are like, hang on a minute, has she got

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Speaker 1: she too?

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Speaker 2: Timing? And she got two husbands? Like what the fuck

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Speaker 2: is going on? And my husband's real name is Nicky,

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Speaker 2: but ninety percent of the population who know him call

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Speaker 2: him Harry because when he was younger in high school.

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Speaker 1: He read a lot of books Harry Potter books. Can

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Speaker 1: believe it.

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Speaker 2: This is where he's nicknames. So he becaught, he became has,

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Speaker 2: so it has Harry has. So when I'm talking, you know,

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Speaker 2: a sentence to someone, it can go from Harry to

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Speaker 2: Nick and I'm not knowing. And they're sitting there, These

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Speaker 2: poor people.

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Speaker 3: Are like, there was someone I was friends with for

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Speaker 3: a whole year, and she said I didn't work it

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Speaker 3: out until like I don't know how long, and I

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Speaker 3: was like, okay, it.

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Speaker 1: Was that long.

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Speaker 2: It took me. So I went through your Insta all

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Speaker 2: the way to your wedding. So I was looking at

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Speaker 2: your first wedding and I was like.

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Speaker 1: Did I say Harry? Oh it was Jade Mary's Harry.

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Speaker 2: And initially it was, yeah, it was, I think it was.

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Speaker 2: But then I'd read an article and then and it's

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Speaker 2: like Nick, and I'm like, oh, has there been a divulce?

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Speaker 2: Like am I missing something here? And then it wasn't

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Speaker 2: until I read another article it was like aka, and

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Speaker 2: I was like, okay, the penny is dropping for me

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Speaker 2: now the poor people?

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Speaker 1: How I'm so sorry.

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Speaker 2: No, I love it. So so you've had so you

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Speaker 2: have two beautiful bambinos sixteen months apart, sixteen months apart,

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Speaker 2: sow two under two oh yeah, two hundred times.

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Speaker 1: Look, I was young, I was a young mum.

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Speaker 2: I had the first at twenty five and I wasn't

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Speaker 2: planning it, but I peed on the stick because I

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Speaker 2: was craving dirty, dirty garlic bread and I looked.

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Speaker 1: Down and I went like my.

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Speaker 3: Blood just went straight down to my feet and at

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Speaker 3: the same time, I was like, this is the best

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Speaker 3: thing that's ever happened to me.

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Speaker 2: I'm an only child. I feel like I've always wanted more.

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Speaker 2: And it went from there. So then me, I was

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Speaker 2: about eight months old, and I was obviously had a

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Speaker 2: lot of energy, and I was like, let's just go again.

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Speaker 2: Let's get them all out now, like you know. So

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Speaker 2: I fell pregnant again, fortunately, and then we had a

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Speaker 2: bit of a break and I had this feeling always

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Speaker 2: that I would have a big family because I was

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Speaker 2: an only child.

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Speaker 1: I really just wanted that. And then I had this urge.

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Speaker 1: It was like.

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Speaker 3: Obviously, you know, people have these urges of it's like

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Speaker 3: you can't control it. So it's a really strange maternal

348
00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:54,600
Speaker 3: feeling that I just needed to have another baby, or

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Speaker 3: I wanted another baby.

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Speaker 2: I've heard people say this, like bug bite to you,

351
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Speaker 2: and it's like I need to It's this maternal thing.

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Speaker 1: It's almost sick though it's really quite sick.

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Speaker 3: Like I made my husband Nick Harry, drive home in

354
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Speaker 3: the rain from.

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Speaker 2: A book writer's retreat on a motorbike so we could

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Speaker 2: have sex because I was ovulating. Yeah, wow, that's like

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Speaker 2: Kim and Kanye. Do you remember she had oh yeah schedule.

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Speaker 3: It actually looked exactly like you know that that scene

359
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Speaker 3: on his Yeah, that was us.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't.

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Speaker 3: He was so not happy. But anyway, that was not

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Speaker 3: the time that we conceived Umi. It took actually two

363
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Speaker 3: or three months in the scale of things, and speaking

364
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:40,640
Speaker 3: to so many people on the podcast, you know, I

365
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Speaker 3: feel so lucky that I have had fast pregnancies, but

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Speaker 3: you know, listening to your story and everyone's journeys, it

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Speaker 3: is it's such a wild ride that people go through.

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Speaker 3: And for me to have that feeling of this urge

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Speaker 3: when I've already got two and I on another.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, I that tracks. I've got clients. I've got

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Speaker 2: Shideh practice as a nutrition that I've got clients that

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Speaker 2: are like going through IVF because they want their family

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Speaker 2: to grow and they're struggling naturally and they're like, oh wow,

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Speaker 2: and they will say I should be content, but this

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00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:20,320
Speaker 2: is really important to me and my husband. I'm like, mate, fuck, yeah,

376
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:22,280
Speaker 2: it doesn't bother me, you know.

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Speaker 1: Like you can't control it.

378
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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I even said to my husband, I was like,

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Speaker 2: I just I can't.

380
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Speaker 3: I don't know what's happening. I just can't control it.

381
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Speaker 3: I can't wait, he said, can you wait six months?

382
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:35,120
Speaker 3: We're gonna you know, I got a new house, blah

383
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Speaker 3: blah blah.

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Speaker 1: I can't. I just can't.

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Speaker 3: And in a sense with postnatal depression, if I look back,

386
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Speaker 3: I wish I had have listened to him. I wish

387
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:50,320
Speaker 3: I listened to his voice and he's what he wants

388
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:58,480
Speaker 3: were because I really I I took over and he

389
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,880
Speaker 3: sort of just agree read with me. And what happened

390
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:05,640
Speaker 3: from there was almost not that he wanted to do it,

391
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:09,919
Speaker 3: but there was this big I told you so. And

392
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,560
Speaker 3: that came with a third child, and every time I

393
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Speaker 3: went to do something, I didn't want to make him

394
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Speaker 3: or ask him to do heaps because I knew it

395
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Speaker 3: was on me and I didn't want to not that

396
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:24,440
Speaker 3: he was saying it, but it was I told you so.

397
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Speaker 2: So.

398
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Speaker 1: This was all in my head, lots of pressure. I

399
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:27,960
Speaker 1: told you so.

400
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:30,960
Speaker 2: And do you think that's part of the mental health?

401
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,320
Speaker 1: That was one part. That was one part of it.

402
00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:35,560
Speaker 2: But because I thought that I could do two kids

403
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:38,080
Speaker 2: under two like it was hard.

404
00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:42,399
Speaker 3: I cried all the time. I remember distinctly seeing a friend.

405
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:44,280
Speaker 2: That had four kids at the time at the beach

406
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Speaker 2: and I just I had two and I was like,

407
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:47,600
Speaker 2: how do you do it?

408
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:49,159
Speaker 1: And she was like, oh, you know, you just do it.

409
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,160
Speaker 1: I'm like, nah, that's not right.

410
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:54,160
Speaker 2: Like it's just like, this is so hard, this is

411
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:55,120
Speaker 2: so so hard.

412
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Speaker 3: How do you do it? But we all managed to

413
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:02,320
Speaker 3: do it and is hard. But then there's these beautiful

414
00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:06,760
Speaker 3: little moments in between where the baby smiles or both

415
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,400
Speaker 3: of them, like, you know, do something really cute, and

416
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:12,280
Speaker 3: it ticks over to the next day, and it's just

417
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:16,320
Speaker 3: it's parenting is such a strange, strange time and it

418
00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:18,760
Speaker 3: goes by really quickly. A lot of people, like especially

419
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,600
Speaker 3: older people, the time flies, cherish all the moments and

420
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,120
Speaker 3: you're like, fuck, I'm in think of it. Don't tell

421
00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:26,200
Speaker 3: me that, but you do you it goes like that.

422
00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 3: Now my kids are, you know, fucking old.

423
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Speaker 2: I love watching into stories about like the kids on

424
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:34,919
Speaker 2: school holidays and you're.

425
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:39,280
Speaker 1: Like, oh, mate, it's so exhausting. It's really exhausting.

426
00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:40,800
Speaker 3: But I love it and I don't want people to

427
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:43,800
Speaker 3: think that I'm ungrateful, like you know, like, it's just

428
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:46,679
Speaker 3: it is a lot, and especially I always tend to

429
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,000
Speaker 3: pick up my phone at the end of the day

430
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:49,919
Speaker 3: instead of throughout. So when I get to the end

431
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:53,040
Speaker 3: of the day, it's like, oh, it's winging because it's

432
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:53,639
Speaker 3: the end of the day.

433
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,359
Speaker 2: It's like, but maybe I should have started at the

434
00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:57,560
Speaker 2: start of the day and I would have been better. Funny,

435
00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:59,679
Speaker 2: it is so funny. I love the one you were like,

436
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:01,720
Speaker 2: I can't wait till my kids are grown up and

437
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:04,359
Speaker 2: I can go to their house walking totally like, shove

438
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:07,240
Speaker 2: chip packets down, out all.

439
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,040
Speaker 1: Of it and then just burn out and be like laters.

440
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:10,960
Speaker 2: Can I ask this is a what I wasn't gonna

441
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:13,720
Speaker 2: ask this, but I I think in an interview and

442
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:15,800
Speaker 2: you said that you love tiny teddies from the fridge?

443
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:16,440
Speaker 2: Is that a thing?

444
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:17,960
Speaker 1: Is a thing?

445
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:19,720
Speaker 2: Is that nicer from the fridge?

446
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:22,399
Speaker 1: Look, you know the little packs.

447
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:25,200
Speaker 3: There's little packs, and if you're gonna like a tiny teddy,

448
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:27,679
Speaker 3: it's the ones that have the chocolate.

449
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:29,520
Speaker 2: Of course, of course I know exactly.

450
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,000
Speaker 3: There's also I'm not a mum, and I know you

451
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:33,680
Speaker 3: don't have to be a mom to love tiny teddies.

452
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:35,879
Speaker 2: But there's also you get the box as well. You

453
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,159
Speaker 2: don't smuck around with those packets. Yeah, we live in

454
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,159
Speaker 2: viro Bay. Just get the box now.

455
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:42,600
Speaker 3: I chuck it in the fridge and there's just something

456
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:44,960
Speaker 3: about that dark chocolate that just sits.

457
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:48,160
Speaker 1: Really nice in your mouth. Dip it in a tea. Oh,

458
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:49,120
Speaker 1: this is so fun.

459
00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:52,080
Speaker 3: Okay, those big you know, the bigs, you know, there's

460
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,760
Speaker 3: big Like they're not tiny Teddies, they're big Teddies.

461
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:58,480
Speaker 2: Is it's the same brand, Yeah, this.

462
00:22:58,480 --> 00:22:59,160
Speaker 1: Podcast is.

463
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:03,920
Speaker 3: No, I don't know what brand it is. Anyway, straight

464
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,280
Speaker 3: in the fridge it's too hot or everything melts.

465
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:07,320
Speaker 1: I never get true.

466
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:09,760
Speaker 2: This is true. That's so funny. When I read it,

467
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:12,120
Speaker 2: I was like, tits in the fridge. That is a new.

468
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,120
Speaker 1: Okay, so sorry, back on track.

469
00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:18,480
Speaker 2: No, no, I I love that you're sharing this so

470
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:23,760
Speaker 2: with you me. Was it the third trimester when there

471
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:27,120
Speaker 2: was like an iron deficiency was starting to kick off?

472
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:28,119
Speaker 2: Because were you eating?

473
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:32,080
Speaker 1: Were you eating washing? Yeah? It was a weird time.

474
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:35,600
Speaker 3: So we moved right, Yeah, So we moved house and

475
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:40,680
Speaker 3: I was unpacking and setting up Ikea closets and doing

476
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:42,640
Speaker 3: everything because you know, I can.

477
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:47,000
Speaker 1: And at this time I didn't know what my anxiety was.

478
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 3: I just knew I had it every now and then,

479
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:54,040
Speaker 3: so still not aware that I have a proper condition. Really,

480
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:55,880
Speaker 3: like I knew that I had it up and down,

481
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,280
Speaker 3: but I just didn't know it was as bad as

482
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,600
Speaker 3: what it was. I just never knowledged it.

483
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,280
Speaker 2: But also, you're a doer, right, and so you just think, well,

484
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,240
Speaker 2: I'm tired today because I'm doing all this extra stuff.

485
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:07,359
Speaker 3: But that's part of the problem. Of course, Let's be

486
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:11,040
Speaker 3: as busy as we can, because then you won't think

487
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:14,119
Speaker 3: about because if you stop, you feel you've got to

488
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 3: feel it. So let's go as busy and hard as

489
00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:18,200
Speaker 3: we can until you burn out, and then.

490
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:21,880
Speaker 1: We'll reset there. But for me, what I've realized.

491
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:25,080
Speaker 3: Now is when I burn out or when i'm slowing down,

492
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 3: it's actually the most beautiful part of my life because

493
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:33,640
Speaker 3: I'm finally sitting with my children. I'm playing with them

494
00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 3: in the pool, I'm cooking with them, I'm listening to them.

495
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:42,760
Speaker 3: So this is what my psychologist has done. She's rewide

496
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:47,800
Speaker 3: my brain into thinking instead of something being such a terrifying,

497
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:53,880
Speaker 3: horrific trauma time, it's now your magic time. It's your

498
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 3: magic moment that actually fuels your energy. It brings you,

499
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,320
Speaker 3: you know, fulfillment, and then you can go go back

500
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:02,199
Speaker 3: up and be as crazy as you want and do

501
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 3: as many cupboards and you know, jobs as you want

502
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:09,320
Speaker 3: to do. So that's where we're heading to. But with

503
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 3: the post natal depression. In the third trimester with Umi,

504
00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 3: I had a iron deficiency and I was about thirty

505
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:19,240
Speaker 3: seven weeks.

506
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:21,440
Speaker 1: They're like, you need to have a.

507
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:27,320
Speaker 2: Iron infusion, and I said, great, let's do it. But

508
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:29,159
Speaker 2: didn't I say, like, oh, it's not going to kick

509
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:30,800
Speaker 2: until two weeks after you have the pack.

510
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 3: After it, I'm sitting there after, I don't, Oh, yeah,

511
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:34,680
Speaker 3: that's not going to work in So like if you

512
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,960
Speaker 3: have if you give birth anytime from now until forty weeks,

513
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 3: that won't really have any benefit to you.

514
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:42,560
Speaker 1: But we probably should do it because.

515
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:45,560
Speaker 3: You're so low. I'm like, okay. But on top of that,

516
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:49,480
Speaker 3: they said start drinking liquid iron. Yeah the doctor. It

517
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:51,840
Speaker 3: was a big no no, like this should have been

518
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:55,639
Speaker 3: marked at thirty two weeks. This should have been long

519
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:59,480
Speaker 3: ago done, but it wasn't. It wasn't picked up. So

520
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 3: I had that didn't really think much of it.

521
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:02,520
Speaker 1: I was.

522
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 3: I look back now at photos of me and I

523
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:10,720
Speaker 3: can find one for you. I was so small pregnant

524
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 3: it was almost concerning, and I looked back last year

525
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:17,119
Speaker 3: and I said to my family, what were you all doing? Like,

526
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:21,560
Speaker 3: did you not see how small I was with my

527
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 3: pregnant How can you not see? I'm looking at it now.

528
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,119
Speaker 3: I usually have a double chin. I usually have like

529
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:29,160
Speaker 3: really small, like small ears.

530
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:33,439
Speaker 2: I had a gaunt face, black under my eyes, my

531
00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:35,199
Speaker 2: ears that are tiny.

532
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:39,240
Speaker 1: See oh yeah, yeah, yeah, a big and I was

533
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 1: just scoletial, gind of thing. Yep, I just had a bump.

534
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:44,240
Speaker 2: You're giving me twilight?

535
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:48,800
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah it was. I was like bella yeah wow,

536
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:50,720
Speaker 1: just a little bit more tanned.

537
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,359
Speaker 2: Now yeah, well, no, I saw a photo shoot you

538
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 2: did and you were six months pregnant with you me, Yeah,

539
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,199
Speaker 2: and I noticed your hand and you could see all

540
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:01,199
Speaker 2: the veins and how much would mean that you were

541
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:05,200
Speaker 2: quite lean, I imagine. And I'm in a beautiful flowy now, yeah,

542
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:07,920
Speaker 2: it's all beautiful. Whatever it's photos. You would have been

543
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:10,920
Speaker 2: very very small, very lean and pregnant.

544
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:11,280
Speaker 1: Yep.

545
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:15,439
Speaker 3: And I craved beer by the end of it. I

546
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 3: craved beer. And I craved the washing out of the

547
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:25,879
Speaker 3: washing machine, so it was fresh, wet clothing, usually a

548
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,679
Speaker 3: tea towel, and I would honestly have it around my

549
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:31,080
Speaker 3: neck and I'd chew on it and suck on it and.

550
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:34,440
Speaker 2: It was just this. I needed it. It was so strange.

551
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 2: Told my doctor.

552
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:37,760
Speaker 1: They're like, yeah, well.

553
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 3: Unfortunately, there's nothing until you give birth. I don't think

554
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:44,080
Speaker 3: there's anything we can do. So at thirty eight weeks,

555
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:48,120
Speaker 3: I started having contractions. All my children came at thirty

556
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:50,640
Speaker 3: eight weeks, weirdly, like thirty eight one day, thirty eight,

557
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:55,080
Speaker 3: thirty eight and two days. That's where my body just goes, see, yeah,

558
00:27:55,359 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 3: you're out of here. And I had so I gave

559
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:06,400
Speaker 3: birth and I had a epidural. I knew that this

560
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:09,440
Speaker 3: one was posterior because my first child was posteria.

561
00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:11,760
Speaker 2: Can you explain to me, Yeah, it hasn't had a

562
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:13,000
Speaker 2: bambag posteria.

563
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:17,720
Speaker 3: So posteria is when the baby is facing I'm pretty

564
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:22,000
Speaker 3: sure we've got to get this right, facing your spinet.

565
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,920
Speaker 1: It turn around the wrong way. Yeah, back with posterios out.

566
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,080
Speaker 2: So it's really like if you were mad, like, that's

567
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:29,159
Speaker 2: really hard to get a baby out that way. So

568
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 2: they ideally want to turn them, whether they stick their

569
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:35,200
Speaker 2: hands up you and turn them manually, or they do

570
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 2: a procedure. And I had that with my first and

571
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 2: it was excruciating back pain.

572
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 3: And then my second I knew there was a difference

573
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 3: because she came out in an hour and twenty minutes.

574
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:47,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, it just popped out.

575
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 2: And then the third I felt that pain again and

576
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:53,520
Speaker 2: they're like, yeah, she's posteria, And I said, get me

577
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:54,240
Speaker 2: an epidural.

578
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:57,960
Speaker 3: I'm not being anyone. I don't want to be a hero.

579
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:01,600
Speaker 3: Just hammy it. Let's which is funny because now that

580
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:05,600
Speaker 3: I have a podcast about parenting, we talk about why

581
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:08,000
Speaker 3: people always go, oh, no, I didn't have an EPI durol,

582
00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 3: Oh I didn't I didn't do any I didn't.

583
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:13,720
Speaker 1: Have gas idea natural. You are a.

584
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:17,560
Speaker 2: Hero for being pregnant, and you are a hero for

585
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 2: giving birth, no matter how you do it and how

586
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:23,640
Speaker 2: they come out. That totally, that is a huge statement.

587
00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:26,160
Speaker 2: I've listened to a few episodes where you talk about

588
00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 2: like poohing jury Oh yeah, big poos, that's totally the norm.

589
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 3: My husband yesterday is like, you know, they like just

590
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:35,360
Speaker 3: grab a towel and they just swoop at their machines.

591
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:37,080
Speaker 3: They're like, oh, it's the baby's coming.

592
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:38,720
Speaker 2: They're like no, and then they just grab the poo

593
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 2: with a towel and just fling it into this corner

594
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:46,880
Speaker 2: and it magically disappears. And I never saw any of that,

595
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:48,960
Speaker 2: but he saw it every time, and he was mind

596
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:49,920
Speaker 2: blowing every time and.

597
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:51,840
Speaker 1: Gone.

598
00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:56,240
Speaker 3: But so when I had the epidural, I sort of

599
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:58,960
Speaker 3: calm down a little bit and I felt good knowing

600
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:00,960
Speaker 3: that I wasn't going to be in so much pain.

601
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:04,640
Speaker 1: Things progressed. I gave birth.

602
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:07,400
Speaker 2: She actually turned around and managed to get her out.

603
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:09,680
Speaker 2: She was my biggest baby. She was four kilos, she

604
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:10,479
Speaker 2: was big bopper.

605
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:16,120
Speaker 3: And then after that happened, I this.

606
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 1: Is where my.

607
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,200
Speaker 3: It all sort of to sort of crumble a bit

608
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 3: for me. So I got put in a room.

609
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:28,840
Speaker 1: I went to a public hospital, which I did with all.

610
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:32,640
Speaker 3: Three of them, which was great and fine, and weirdly,

611
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:35,560
Speaker 3: I gave birth to my friend.

612
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:38,080
Speaker 2: She had no I did not give birth to my friend.

613
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:41,640
Speaker 2: I gave birth to my own baby. My friend was

614
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:44,280
Speaker 2: giving birth she had a booked in C section for

615
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 2: her fifth child, and we were in the same.

616
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:51,240
Speaker 1: Room on the same day. Wow, it was really special.

617
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:52,520
Speaker 2: The two kiddos close.

618
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 1: No, we're not. We just you know, if you've got

619
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:56,800
Speaker 1: more than one, Yeah, it's impossible.

620
00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 2: I barely see Sophie like let alone seeing anyone else,

621
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 2: but that was pretty special. So we were in that

622
00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:08,280
Speaker 2: room and I went to the toilet and I sat

623
00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:13,120
Speaker 2: down and I felt really faint. And you know, if

624
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 2: anyone knows me, I've always had this fear of faintness

625
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:19,280
Speaker 2: and that is just due anxiety.

626
00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:22,720
Speaker 3: And when I was little, I had convulsions. We scared

627
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:24,400
Speaker 3: the shit out of my Mumot's.

628
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 2: Where baby overheats, they actually like pass out, stop breathing

629
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:32,240
Speaker 2: for a little bit, turned blue and their body.

630
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,960
Speaker 3: It's actually not as scary as it sounds. They just reset.

631
00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:38,360
Speaker 3: That's their system resetting. So I've never been really good

632
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:41,240
Speaker 3: with heat. Anytime it's hot outside, anytime I have a fever,

633
00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 3: I will either faint or I will.

634
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:47,080
Speaker 1: Go really really quiet. So it's just been how I am.

635
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:52,280
Speaker 3: And I was on the toilet, felt really faint. Yumi

636
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:56,640
Speaker 3: was in a little crib next to my bed, and

637
00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:59,440
Speaker 3: I pushed the buzzer and as soon as I pushed

638
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 3: the buzzer, uh, I instantly felt like a failure, instantly

639
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 3: because I needed help. And when I had two of them,

640
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:14,800
Speaker 3: if I look back on my two berth tooth pregnancies,

641
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 3: raising two kids, it's like you can do it all, Mama,

642
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:21,880
Speaker 3: Like I could do it. I cried, but I still

643
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:24,160
Speaker 3: managed it, and I didn't have to ask for any help.

644
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 3: And I pushed that buzzer and my baby's like hours old,

645
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 3: and she came in and she looked at me and

646
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:35,240
Speaker 3: sort of her eyes widened.

647
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:37,600
Speaker 1: And I said, I'm gonna faint.

648
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:41,080
Speaker 3: And from then I went straight onto my bed, and

649
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 3: every time I tried to pop my head up like

650
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:49,160
Speaker 3: five centimeters, I'd pass out. And my heberglobin is that

651
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:51,760
Speaker 3: hemoglobinoglobin got it, you got it?

652
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:56,560
Speaker 2: Level was at like five, which is like unheard of

653
00:32:56,720 --> 00:32:59,720
Speaker 2: on it. It's like the bottom of the barrel of bottom.

654
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,600
Speaker 2: I think we can go up to hundreds if we're good. Yeah.

655
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:07,640
Speaker 3: So I had to get a blood transfusion, and the

656
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:11,600
Speaker 3: thought of having someone else's blood inside.

657
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 2: That could have been anxiety inducing in itself.

658
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:16,520
Speaker 3: Well, I actually spoke to someone we had, we had

659
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 3: doctor Oscar Sarah Lacon, and it was interesting because he

660
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:27,160
Speaker 3: said to me, in terms of anxiety and trauma.

661
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:28,720
Speaker 2: I thought maybe that was part of my postnatal depression,

662
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:30,040
Speaker 2: having a blood transfusion.

663
00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:33,600
Speaker 1: He said, actually, the trauma is the fainting.

664
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:40,080
Speaker 2: Part, really, because your body is resetting itself, and it's.

665
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:44,560
Speaker 3: It's just it's a trauma effect. Your body has literally

666
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:48,360
Speaker 3: just had a trauma. You fainted, you're resetting and the end,

667
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:50,240
Speaker 3: I've had it all my life. So it's just this

668
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:56,240
Speaker 3: funny feeling that I've always had anyway, So I that

669
00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 3: took a while. I had to get my mum, we're

670
00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:03,960
Speaker 3: juggling kids, mom, parents, my husband to come up. And

671
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,640
Speaker 3: then the lady said to me, the nurse, the midwife,

672
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:09,200
Speaker 3: she was like, because she kept crying, my milk wasn't

673
00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:09,839
Speaker 3: coming in on.

674
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:14,520
Speaker 1: A few days later and she kept.

675
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 3: Crying and I felt, once again like a failure because

676
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:20,160
Speaker 3: my milk's not coming. They're like, no, that's because you're

677
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 3: so I am deficient that you can't produce anything because

678
00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:26,399
Speaker 3: you've got nothing to give. It's okay, She'll be all right,

679
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:28,960
Speaker 3: Like it will come through. Can I take her for

680
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:32,360
Speaker 3: a little bit while you, you.

681
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:34,640
Speaker 1: Know, have a rest or you have a fucking blood transfusion.

682
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:36,760
Speaker 1: Burst into tears.

683
00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:40,040
Speaker 3: I can't believe that my baby has to be and

684
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:44,200
Speaker 3: how ridiculous. Right, this is what these beautiful, amazing midwives

685
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:45,319
Speaker 3: are here for.

686
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 2: They're here to help you. They're here to help your babe,

687
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:51,080
Speaker 2: if you are tired, this is the time in hospital,

688
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:54,560
Speaker 2: if you're going to get out out at this. But

689
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:57,759
Speaker 2: at the same time, I can see where you have

690
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:00,520
Speaker 2: been like, no, I've got two bambinos. I'm so mum.

691
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 2: I can do this. I can take it all on.

692
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:04,680
Speaker 2: I've told Harry I can do this. I've told him

693
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:05,800
Speaker 2: I'm ready, Like I can.

694
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:07,680
Speaker 1: See you it's unfolding.

695
00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:09,719
Speaker 2: Rain would have been like, no, I should be able

696
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:12,160
Speaker 2: to do this. I'm also a bit a type, so

697
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:16,719
Speaker 2: I fully would feel how like asking for help, and

698
00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:19,239
Speaker 2: even with mental health as well, asking for help? Is

699
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:21,840
Speaker 2: it this? It's a very weird, like you're almost giving

700
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:26,680
Speaker 2: over control, which there then would be anxiety triggering, like.

701
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:27,800
Speaker 1: It's full on correct.

702
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 3: And I came home, so I had three kids, and

703
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:33,239
Speaker 3: then all of a sudden everything I was standing in

704
00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:35,840
Speaker 3: my closet and I heard two of my older ones

705
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:40,560
Speaker 3: like fighting each other, and I was just like it

706
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 3: was like from my head down to my feet everything

707
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:47,479
Speaker 3: went numb. I just froze, and I was like, what

708
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:50,520
Speaker 3: the fuck is happening? Like, what is going on? Why

709
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 3: can't I think? Why can't I why can't I look

710
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:56,760
Speaker 3: at my kids? I actually looked at one of my children,

711
00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:59,319
Speaker 3: which is the saddest part. And I looked at her

712
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:03,799
Speaker 3: and I didn't see what I usually saw in her,

713
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 3: Like I'm like why, Like usually I look at her

714
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:08,799
Speaker 3: and I'm like, you were them like every child, you're

715
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:11,160
Speaker 3: the most beautiful. And I looked at her and I'm like, like,

716
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:13,160
Speaker 3: I just didn't had a lost a connection.

717
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:15,400
Speaker 2: And this happened with yourself as well, did didn't you,

718
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:18,920
Speaker 2: like look at your reflection and you're like, I can't recognize.

719
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:21,200
Speaker 3: Looked at me and I just went who is that

720
00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:24,680
Speaker 3: horrible human being? And then I looked at my baby

721
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:26,840
Speaker 3: and what I was doing when I was looking at

722
00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:31,719
Speaker 3: her is like I'm supposed to be smiling at you,

723
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:34,080
Speaker 3: which I'm doing right now, but I'm supposed to be

724
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:38,400
Speaker 3: enjoying it, Like I'm I'm supposed to be really happy

725
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,440
Speaker 3: right now, like you're seeing me smile, but right now

726
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:44,640
Speaker 3: I'm telling myself to smile because that's what I'm supposed

727
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:47,640
Speaker 3: to be doing. And it escalated to the point where

728
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:50,239
Speaker 3: I was dropped off at hospital.

729
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:52,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, you went on a girl's weekend, didn't you.

730
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:57,439
Speaker 3: If you have anxiety, don't don't go off on a

731
00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:00,400
Speaker 3: like if you're in the middle of having an episode,

732
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:03,279
Speaker 3: you don't go out of your comfort zone. Keep in

733
00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 3: your comfort zone, because if you're going to go out

734
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:09,160
Speaker 3: and do something even more harder in your brain has

735
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:10,520
Speaker 3: to take all that in.

736
00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:13,040
Speaker 1: That's a lot. It's too much. You're already burnt out.

737
00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:16,960
Speaker 2: Didn't you in that one night? Have something like seven

738
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:19,640
Speaker 2: panic attacks the night before you get got dropped off

739
00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:21,120
Speaker 2: at emergency the biggest.

740
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:24,520
Speaker 3: That's the first time that I've had that many panic

741
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:26,799
Speaker 3: attacks in one night. It didn't stop. I didn't sleep,

742
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:29,040
Speaker 3: and it didn't stop, and it just kept on spiraling.

743
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:32,680
Speaker 3: And I remember the first psychologist that I had, She's like,

744
00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:34,600
Speaker 3: it's okay, if you have a cold shower, you actually

745
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 3: reset yourself. But guess what, when you're in a state

746
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:40,279
Speaker 3: of disrepair. I get out and that didn't work. So

747
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:41,320
Speaker 3: what the fuck happens?

748
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:43,840
Speaker 1: Now? What do I do if that is what she

749
00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:44,799
Speaker 1: said works.

750
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:49,360
Speaker 3: And it doesn't work, So then I am beside myself.

751
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:54,799
Speaker 3: I've got vivid, like it was just everything was too much.

752
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:57,560
Speaker 3: I actually just went completely numb and couldn't stop crying.

753
00:37:57,600 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 3: My girlfriend was holding my hand the whole way home,

754
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:02,160
Speaker 3: and I got out. I didn't want to hand my

755
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:05,000
Speaker 3: baby to my husband because that would be failing. So

756
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:08,040
Speaker 3: I walked in with Yumi to the hospital and I

757
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:11,239
Speaker 3: went to the office and I tried to hold back

758
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:16,759
Speaker 3: my tears and I just said, I need help. There's

759
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:21,160
Speaker 3: nothing physically wrong with me, mentally, I really really need help.

760
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:28,400
Speaker 3: And this psychiatrist I actually walked in around and they

761
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:31,000
Speaker 3: were a bit confused what was going on, Like if

762
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:34,400
Speaker 3: I'm not hurt, what's happening? They said, We're going to

763
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:37,640
Speaker 3: put you in a closed room with a door, and

764
00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:39,280
Speaker 3: you'll be really happy there because.

765
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:40,040
Speaker 1: It's your own space.

766
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:44,680
Speaker 3: For me with anxiety, I thought, you're putting me in

767
00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:46,560
Speaker 3: a room that's going to make me feel like a

768
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:50,799
Speaker 3: mental case, and I feel mentally unwell, and that's going

769
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:53,640
Speaker 3: to make me feel even worse. I said, I know

770
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:57,400
Speaker 3: this sounds really crazy, but I cannot be put in

771
00:38:57,440 --> 00:38:59,799
Speaker 3: a closed room right now. Can you please just put

772
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:03,040
Speaker 3: me like everybody else? And I sort of even in

773
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:05,480
Speaker 3: that state, saw one of them click and went, okay,

774
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:06,560
Speaker 3: I know what's going on here.

775
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 1: Put me in a curtain room. I sat there.

776
00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:15,759
Speaker 3: Psychiatrists came up from the bottom and he said to me.

777
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,440
Speaker 3: He listened to me for about I reckon two minutes

778
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:22,080
Speaker 3: and everything I said to him was I don't know

779
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,279
Speaker 3: what's happening. I don't know why it's happening, and I

780
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,359
Speaker 3: don't know how to stop it. How do I stop it?

781
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:29,839
Speaker 3: And he said, you've got a panic disorder. You have

782
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 3: high anxiety right now, and you need to stop feeding it.

783
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:37,279
Speaker 3: And the way you're feeding it is by asking these questions.

784
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,960
Speaker 3: So you need to really slow down. And I said,

785
00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:43,040
Speaker 3: all right, all right, I'm trying to understand that. My

786
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,279
Speaker 3: head's spinning, by the way, like I'm really saty.

787
00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:47,000
Speaker 2: I've written down something he said to you. He goes,

788
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:50,279
Speaker 2: you're not going crazy, yeah, and he said you have

789
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:53,239
Speaker 2: a combination. He listened all these which would have felt

790
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:56,400
Speaker 2: a little bit yeah, I've been heard yeah, and you

791
00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:58,720
Speaker 2: would have been like, oh, I'm not I'm not going crazy.

792
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:00,719
Speaker 2: These are actually things that happening to me.

793
00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:02,000
Speaker 1: But in a.

794
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:07,040
Speaker 3: State of like that's an episode. That's an actual episode

795
00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:10,880
Speaker 3: that can last for twenty four hours to two weeks.

796
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:15,359
Speaker 3: It can really spire depending on how I don't know

797
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:19,160
Speaker 3: what's happening, and how much help you get and how

798
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:23,240
Speaker 3: you're actually addressing it. I was on anti anxiety medication

799
00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:29,960
Speaker 3: for some time. But when you're on medication from eighteen

800
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:37,240
Speaker 3: years of age to thirty thirty two, your chemical imbalance

801
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:40,600
Speaker 3: is going to alter. If you have your baby, if

802
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:44,360
Speaker 3: you've got hormones, like, it's all going to start, you know. Anyway,

803
00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 3: So I sat there and I was not in a

804
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:51,759
Speaker 3: place to really understand soak what he was saying in

805
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:54,319
Speaker 3: but I got what he was saying, and then not

806
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:55,880
Speaker 3: a second later, I said to him.

807
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:57,600
Speaker 1: So, how do we fix it? He's like to Jade,

808
00:40:57,600 --> 00:40:58,360
Speaker 1: you're doing it again.

809
00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:01,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, feeding it again, and you need to just sit here.

810
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:04,319
Speaker 3: There is nothing wrong with you. Are quite capable. And

811
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:06,560
Speaker 3: they're like, you could drive home, you can go home.

812
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:08,680
Speaker 3: I'm like, well, they obviously don't think I'm that mad

813
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:11,640
Speaker 3: because they're just sending me home like I'm a normal human.

814
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:14,480
Speaker 1: They're like, you are a normal human.

815
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:20,040
Speaker 3: You've got anxiety. Didn't understand it. So this incredible nurse

816
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:24,600
Speaker 3: came in. This changed my life, changed my fucking life.

817
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:27,319
Speaker 3: I wish I knew who it was. She walks in

818
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:29,760
Speaker 3: and she sits down, here's a little bit of my story,

819
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:32,120
Speaker 3: and she said, I'm going to write down a book

820
00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:33,960
Speaker 3: for you. You can get it on an ebook or

821
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,040
Speaker 3: you can get it and physically read it.

822
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:39,640
Speaker 2: But I had this when I had my fifth child,

823
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:43,120
Speaker 2: and she didn't say much about it.

824
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:44,000
Speaker 1: She just gave it to me.

825
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:50,359
Speaker 2: I went home next day, I researched and I got

826
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:50,800
Speaker 2: the book.

827
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:56,279
Speaker 1: And it was a book called is it Dealing with It?

828
00:41:56,400 --> 00:42:00,759
Speaker 2: Or something dealing with in quotations by Bev But I

829
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:03,920
Speaker 2: don't know if I've pronounced her name right. It is

830
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:08,080
Speaker 2: like the it's got big writing, it's got clear pictures,

831
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:14,160
Speaker 2: and it is pretty much just she just spoke so

832
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:19,239
Speaker 2: clearly and beautifully and told a story of what anxiety is,

833
00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:22,400
Speaker 2: and she articulated articulated.

834
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:24,120
Speaker 3: It in a way of it being a dinosaur in

835
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:27,600
Speaker 3: your brain that's running havoc, and sometimes we just need

836
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:30,040
Speaker 3: to pop him in a little door and close that

837
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:33,040
Speaker 3: door and he can come out when like something's really

838
00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:36,399
Speaker 3: threatening or you know you need him, but sometimes we've

839
00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:39,359
Speaker 3: just got to raining back in, close the door. Now

840
00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:42,360
Speaker 3: that I'm sitting here and like speaking about it, it

841
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:48,239
Speaker 3: seems it seems quite crazy because it's such a simplistic thing.

842
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:51,080
Speaker 2: But when you're in it, that's all I needed, because

843
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:52,320
Speaker 2: that's all I could handle.

844
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:56,279
Speaker 3: I couldn't handle you handing me a novel or a textbook,

845
00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 3: or me listening to anything else.

846
00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:00,480
Speaker 1: And I think with anxiety.

847
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:05,360
Speaker 3: People usually say to people, go and do meditation to

848
00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:10,600
Speaker 3: someone that has anxiety. That is the hardest things that

849
00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:15,080
Speaker 3: we can do, because that requires us to think and

850
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:20,480
Speaker 3: it explodes our brain. So for me, exercise works best

851
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:24,040
Speaker 3: because I can move and I can think about my

852
00:43:24,239 --> 00:43:27,000
Speaker 3: anxiety and I can work through it rather than sitting.

853
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:28,399
Speaker 3: Everyone's different, but for.

854
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:30,400
Speaker 2: Me, and I think I'm a yoga teacher. Don't if

855
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 2: you know that?

856
00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:33,160
Speaker 1: But no I didn't. What aren't you? But I are you?

857
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:36,400
Speaker 2: I think this when you exercise, a move when you

858
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 2: connect the body to the breath. So whether it's running

859
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:41,680
Speaker 2: up your heels, spring you know, like yes, hiking on

860
00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:44,120
Speaker 2: your problem, it's it's something I know you like a

861
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:47,960
Speaker 2: lighty you know what I mean, something about movement and

862
00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:52,359
Speaker 2: connecting the breath. I think it must do something because

863
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:54,480
Speaker 2: I've heard you talk about breath work and how it's

864
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:57,600
Speaker 2: helped you, and how even hasn't one of your bambinos

865
00:43:57,719 --> 00:43:59,719
Speaker 2: helped you with breath work when you've been to think

866
00:43:59,719 --> 00:44:03,160
Speaker 2: about it, and I just think there's something. There has

867
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:05,320
Speaker 2: to be. Something goes on with movement, and you still

868
00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:06,520
Speaker 2: like the cold shower, don't you.

869
00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:09,120
Speaker 1: I did it this morning, You did it this morning.

870
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:14,759
Speaker 3: I've like to be honest, it's been a crazy like

871
00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:17,480
Speaker 3: end of year start a new year of celebrations.

872
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:19,440
Speaker 1: So we've been drinking more.

873
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 3: I've been going to bed late, I've been eating absolute crap.

874
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:26,440
Speaker 3: Yes that's great for a period of time, but for me,

875
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:31,480
Speaker 3: I'm feeling it now like I mentally feel it. So

876
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:35,279
Speaker 3: I need to I don't. And this is the thing

877
00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:37,120
Speaker 3: that I've started to realize. I don't need to go

878
00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:39,960
Speaker 3: on a three k run every day. I just need

879
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:43,239
Speaker 3: to do something every day. So if I get to

880
00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 3: like the end of the letterbox and go, oh shit,

881
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:49,080
Speaker 3: I've actually I've got to do something, or you know,

882
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:52,200
Speaker 3: something pops in my mind, that's all right. I've gotten

883
00:44:52,239 --> 00:44:54,839
Speaker 3: to there. I've done some exercise. If the next day

884
00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:57,359
Speaker 3: I do a three k run, you fucking legend, you've

885
00:44:57,400 --> 00:44:59,640
Speaker 3: done it, you know what I mean? Even if it's

886
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:04,160
Speaker 3: just breathing and sitting outside with a coffee and having

887
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:07,960
Speaker 3: a conversation with my kids. Actually take that back, just

888
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:10,839
Speaker 3: sitting by myself or they come out just to.

889
00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:11,240
Speaker 2: Have a break.

890
00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:16,280
Speaker 3: It's those little things, piecing them together, and even my husband,

891
00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:20,200
Speaker 3: who's my biggest cheerleader, like he yesterday I was on

892
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:24,280
Speaker 3: my phone all day for work and he said to me, Babe,

893
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:27,240
Speaker 3: just looks over at me. You've been on that phone

894
00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:30,239
Speaker 3: for a really long time. And I said, yeah, I know.

895
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 3: I've just got a little bit more to do. And

896
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:34,600
Speaker 3: he's like, no, no, no, you need it. Just come and

897
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:35,799
Speaker 3: have a swim, have a break with me.

898
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:39,000
Speaker 1: Just reset. And then I woke up today and I'm like.

899
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:42,399
Speaker 2: My eyes are so red, like they're so sore. I've

900
00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:44,239
Speaker 2: got to get my eyes checking and goes, what do

901
00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:48,680
Speaker 2: you reckon that's from? And I go, oh, I'm stressed

902
00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:51,759
Speaker 2: or what was the other reason? It was some ridiculous

903
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:53,239
Speaker 2: reason I came up with And he goes, you don't

904
00:45:53,239 --> 00:45:54,920
Speaker 2: think it's because you've been on your phone, and I

905
00:45:54,960 --> 00:46:00,279
Speaker 2: was like obviously, Like obviously he's a love is the

906
00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:03,560
Speaker 2: also very handsome. Can I say, oh my god, he's

907
00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:09,200
Speaker 2: the most aesthetically beautiful man. He's like a old soul.

908
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:11,880
Speaker 2: He's he likes right, he's the best.

909
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:15,000
Speaker 1: He does. A writer, he's a writer. He's a creative writer.

910
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:18,080
Speaker 3: He's done stuff for Bryan Byron writers, first, he's written

911
00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:19,080
Speaker 3: a short novel.

912
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:21,720
Speaker 1: He's done a hell of a lot of things.

913
00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:23,840
Speaker 2: And then we had three kids and he's put it

914
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:25,200
Speaker 2: on pause and become a farmer.

915
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:27,840
Speaker 1: And also I am more.

916
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:31,640
Speaker 3: Of the income earner at the moment, so he's been

917
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:34,560
Speaker 3: more of the state home down which has been absolutely beautiful.

918
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:36,560
Speaker 2: Well that's my goal, the one.

919
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:39,919
Speaker 3: He understands more too. He gets it.

920
00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:42,600
Speaker 2: And now we don't argue about who does what, who

921
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:45,960
Speaker 2: does more, because we just understand how it works. But

922
00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:54,960
Speaker 2: he he is my soundboard. He he's incredible, he's smart.

923
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:58,359
Speaker 1: He does not like social media. He's not a show off.

924
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:01,080
Speaker 2: But can I say the so you put on a

925
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:03,120
Speaker 2: few days ago of the things that are something that

926
00:47:03,160 --> 00:47:04,800
Speaker 2: annoys you and he just walks in the background a

927
00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:06,000
Speaker 2: points itself and goes.

928
00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:10,439
Speaker 3: Me, Yeah, he's so annoying though as well, but they

929
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:10,839
Speaker 3: all are.

930
00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:13,040
Speaker 2: That little bit was the cutest thing that he just

931
00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:16,400
Speaker 2: walks in and is like Jocks.

932
00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:19,040
Speaker 1: Yet Jock's all bless his heart.

933
00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:23,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's not a fan, he's not a he's not

934
00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:26,839
Speaker 2: like a show pony. He doesn't need any attention at all.

935
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:31,000
Speaker 2: And here I am with an Insta Insta account. What

936
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:35,040
Speaker 2: a cool teammate, And I think it sounds like he

937
00:47:35,080 --> 00:47:38,279
Speaker 2: can almost like pick pick up when you're leaning too

938
00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:40,759
Speaker 2: heavily into the work or too heavily into the like

939
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:43,200
Speaker 2: screen time and stuff, and he could just like quickly

940
00:47:43,239 --> 00:47:43,600
Speaker 2: be like.

941
00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:48,200
Speaker 3: YO, come on, and I need these little blessings in

942
00:47:48,239 --> 00:47:51,680
Speaker 3: my life. These people like I have a psychiatrist, a psychologist,

943
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:53,960
Speaker 3: I have a GP, I have him, I have my

944
00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:57,720
Speaker 3: mother in law, I have my parents, I have my kids.

945
00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:01,920
Speaker 3: These are the biggest alarm bells. And it's almost, like

946
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:06,400
Speaker 3: my psychologist said, until you learn and you listen and

947
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:09,600
Speaker 3: you understand your coping mechanisms and when to pull it in,

948
00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:12,120
Speaker 3: these people around you are doing it for you.

949
00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:14,160
Speaker 2: And how cool is that? Like? And I love that

950
00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:18,000
Speaker 2: you've just mentioned you've got a psychologist, you've got a psychiatrist,

951
00:48:18,239 --> 00:48:20,399
Speaker 2: and you check in with your GP as well. Can

952
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:23,520
Speaker 2: you first of all, explain what the psychiatrist does versus

953
00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:24,799
Speaker 2: what the psychologist does.

954
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:29,880
Speaker 3: So psychiatrist is pretty much medication based, so they can

955
00:48:29,960 --> 00:48:32,160
Speaker 3: prescribe medication, they can understand what's going on.

956
00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:33,320
Speaker 1: They can go through.

957
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:36,120
Speaker 3: If you have bipolar, if you have a certain condition,

958
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:39,759
Speaker 3: if you need different medications for different things. So I

959
00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:42,840
Speaker 3: was on one medication for a long time and I

960
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:47,000
Speaker 3: needed to switch that medication, and which is a.

961
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:49,280
Speaker 2: Long process, isn't it, Because you have to like slowly

962
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:52,200
Speaker 2: wean off one and then even when you start on

963
00:48:52,239 --> 00:48:56,520
Speaker 2: another one because as you know, MAT's on anti anxiety

964
00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:59,080
Speaker 2: medication as well, and then as you're coming on the

965
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:01,320
Speaker 2: other one, you don't know, I feel great at the start,

966
00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:04,040
Speaker 2: you know, Gagos it is.

967
00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:07,040
Speaker 3: And so it's almost like what do you call it

968
00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:09,640
Speaker 3: when you're coming off a medical withdrawal? Yeah, it's a

969
00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:12,799
Speaker 3: withdrawal symptom, because you've got to withdraw too. You can't

970
00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:15,719
Speaker 3: just cross over a medication. Some you can, but my

971
00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:18,600
Speaker 3: one you could not. So I was going through this

972
00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:22,560
Speaker 3: horrible and I only recently accepted. So back when I

973
00:49:22,600 --> 00:49:25,839
Speaker 3: had my panic attack with you me, I didn't take

974
00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:29,239
Speaker 3: valium when they said, if there is anyone at any

975
00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:32,200
Speaker 3: time to have one, you need valium. You should not

976
00:49:32,239 --> 00:49:35,160
Speaker 3: pushing it, but please, And I'm like, I didn't take drugs.

977
00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:36,879
Speaker 3: I don't do this, no way, I don't need anything else.

978
00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:40,640
Speaker 3: I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. My goodness. The first

979
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:42,480
Speaker 3: time I had I had half a one, and I'm like,

980
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:43,480
Speaker 3: I didn't do anything.

981
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:44,480
Speaker 1: I had a whole one.

982
00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:46,840
Speaker 3: And I'm not saying everyone go out and get valium,

983
00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:50,000
Speaker 3: but for someone that has a panic disorder or anxiety,

984
00:49:50,040 --> 00:49:52,279
Speaker 3: and there's moments in your life that you need just

985
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:55,200
Speaker 3: a little bit of a Like people say to me

986
00:49:55,480 --> 00:49:58,200
Speaker 3: when they have a valium they can go to sleep.

987
00:49:58,520 --> 00:50:02,200
Speaker 3: Because I have such high anxiety. I take one and

988
00:50:02,239 --> 00:50:05,920
Speaker 3: I function. Yes, it just removes the head noise just

989
00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:08,399
Speaker 3: for a little bit, just like maybe half an hour,

990
00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:12,480
Speaker 3: and because I've calm my brain for halfer, I can

991
00:50:12,520 --> 00:50:13,560
Speaker 3: go on correct.

992
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:18,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're clearer. Yeah, So did your psychiatrist actually give

993
00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 2: you a diagnose? Like what has been your diagnosis?

994
00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:24,360
Speaker 3: He went through a lot of things and he works

995
00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:28,799
Speaker 3: in with my psychologist, and a psychologist is she's just

996
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:30,600
Speaker 3: freaking back.

997
00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:33,000
Speaker 2: Talk therapy where you'll go and see them.

998
00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:36,879
Speaker 3: Absolutely and I see her every three weeks, two once

999
00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:40,480
Speaker 3: a month, and it's funny because you can talk about

1000
00:50:40,520 --> 00:50:42,640
Speaker 3: nothing and thinking. Go in there, and this is what

1001
00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:44,840
Speaker 3: I want to say to people. Right, you can go

1002
00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:46,600
Speaker 3: in there and go I don't have a problem or

1003
00:50:46,640 --> 00:50:51,680
Speaker 3: I don't need therapy. You will sit down and what

1004
00:50:51,800 --> 00:50:54,879
Speaker 3: comes out of one sentence that probably you don't think

1005
00:50:54,920 --> 00:50:59,080
Speaker 3: means anything has so much underlying issue.

1006
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:02,400
Speaker 2: And I always say to people when you because I

1007
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:04,360
Speaker 2: see a therapist once every two weeks, I have been

1008
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:07,239
Speaker 2: for six years now, and I always say, going to

1009
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 2: a therapist when you fit on.

1010
00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:10,279
Speaker 1: A good day is the best day.

1011
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:12,720
Speaker 2: It's the best because you can actually process shit, Whereas

1012
00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:14,400
Speaker 2: when you're going on a bad day, you're kind of

1013
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:16,600
Speaker 2: just managing in a bit and like learning some coping

1014
00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:19,799
Speaker 2: mechanisms that are safe and healthy with your therapist. But

1015
00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:22,120
Speaker 2: if you're going feeling like you don't need to see

1016
00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:25,640
Speaker 2: a therapist that day, you can actually work through your habits,

1017
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:30,239
Speaker 2: your behavior, like reoccurring things, and you can sit with

1018
00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:32,120
Speaker 2: them and be like, oh, I'm actually doing that because

1019
00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:35,759
Speaker 2: this trauma that happened when I get younger, or yeah,

1020
00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:39,000
Speaker 2: I feel uncomfortable when this happens, or you know, like

1021
00:51:39,080 --> 00:51:41,080
Speaker 2: it's so like I remember the first I think I

1022
00:51:41,120 --> 00:51:42,880
Speaker 2: told you on your part, I went to a therapist

1023
00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:46,640
Speaker 2: to get over a breakup three s times. Yeah, three Yeah,

1024
00:51:46,719 --> 00:51:49,320
Speaker 2: it's hard. Three sessions, And I go, can I actually

1025
00:51:50,560 --> 00:51:53,279
Speaker 2: can I actually come to you every every breakup? Yeah?

1026
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:56,759
Speaker 2: But and we just continued like everything, And I think

1027
00:51:56,800 --> 00:51:59,560
Speaker 2: that's where I love that you're so passionate and such

1028
00:51:59,600 --> 00:52:04,719
Speaker 2: an advocate for mental health and therapy because it's so

1029
00:52:04,760 --> 00:52:06,760
Speaker 2: powerful you and I said this before we hit record

1030
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:08,239
Speaker 2: for everyone.

1031
00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:10,920
Speaker 3: But everyone for well, I think the older generation, I

1032
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:12,879
Speaker 3: think we've got a long way, like, well, just let

1033
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:13,239
Speaker 3: them go.

1034
00:52:14,400 --> 00:52:16,800
Speaker 1: But you know, anyone under the age of us, no

1035
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:17,680
Speaker 1: anyone else.

1036
00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:21,520
Speaker 3: I like my children, especially they if they need even

1037
00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:22,200
Speaker 3: if they don't.

1038
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:23,160
Speaker 1: I just feel like.

1039
00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:28,560
Speaker 3: People anytime a new normal occurs, whether it's you get engaged,

1040
00:52:28,719 --> 00:52:31,680
Speaker 3: you get married, and you transition, you have a baby,

1041
00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:35,360
Speaker 3: have a new house, this is always going to shift

1042
00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:38,400
Speaker 3: your life in a way, maybe good, maybe bad, but

1043
00:52:38,719 --> 00:52:40,319
Speaker 3: it's going to make it shift, and it's going to

1044
00:52:40,360 --> 00:52:44,040
Speaker 3: make you feel different. And if you do have anxiety,

1045
00:52:44,480 --> 00:52:46,359
Speaker 3: that's something to be aware of. And if you can

1046
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:49,800
Speaker 3: have a therapist, or you can have a couple's therapist

1047
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:53,719
Speaker 3: or whatever you need and just soundboard.

1048
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:57,040
Speaker 1: Them, you will go out. You will you will go.

1049
00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:59,520
Speaker 3: Out feeling Sometimes if you've got a lot of trauma,

1050
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:02,160
Speaker 3: like in your childhood, it could take a lot, like

1051
00:53:02,239 --> 00:53:05,560
Speaker 3: many sessions to feel better, but you've got to go

1052
00:53:05,719 --> 00:53:09,279
Speaker 3: through the work to get to the light.

1053
00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:12,840
Speaker 2: One hundred percent. I have to say thank you for

1054
00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:16,880
Speaker 2: sharing so rawly on your pod when you were in it.

1055
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:19,560
Speaker 1: You won't listen to that, No, I don't.

1056
00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:21,920
Speaker 2: I don't blame you, because, like I listened to it

1057
00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:24,520
Speaker 2: out of just wanting to soak you up.

1058
00:53:24,760 --> 00:53:26,400
Speaker 1: People have said it's intense.

1059
00:53:26,719 --> 00:53:29,480
Speaker 2: It is intense, but it's not so confronting that you

1060
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:31,960
Speaker 2: can't like actually, like, that's what I love about the

1061
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:34,120
Speaker 2: way you share your Like, look, I'm in the thick

1062
00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:36,040
Speaker 2: of it, but I want to help people. That's kind

1063
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:39,479
Speaker 2: of like your whole stick. And like there is moments

1064
00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:42,440
Speaker 2: where you're like crying and feeling you can you can

1065
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:44,919
Speaker 2: hear the way you're breathing. You're just like, I give

1066
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:47,440
Speaker 2: up right now. You've got that kind of overwhelmed feeling

1067
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:49,920
Speaker 2: about you. But like the fact that you're sharing that,

1068
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:56,560
Speaker 2: And kudos to Sophie too for just like holding the space, yeah,

1069
00:53:56,600 --> 00:53:58,799
Speaker 2: and just letting it and really letting you sit in

1070
00:53:58,840 --> 00:54:03,239
Speaker 2: the discomfort, which can be uncomfortable. Yeah, yeah, and you.

1071
00:54:04,200 --> 00:54:08,279
Speaker 2: I just when I heard that episode, I was came

1072
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:11,799
Speaker 2: I think September of twenty twenty two, and I'll link

1073
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:14,239
Speaker 2: it because I just think it's so rare that you

1074
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:17,040
Speaker 2: get insight to someone who was in the thing of it,

1075
00:54:17,040 --> 00:54:19,600
Speaker 2: because we all get perspective out the other side of

1076
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:22,239
Speaker 2: it and you're like, yeah, that was a really bad

1077
00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:24,719
Speaker 2: or ta for Struggle Street for a little bit, but

1078
00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:27,480
Speaker 2: when you're in it, like you can, it's visceral.

1079
00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:29,200
Speaker 1: Well, I actually had.

1080
00:54:30,560 --> 00:54:33,719
Speaker 2: A lot of women hand it to their partner and

1081
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:37,640
Speaker 2: men hand it to their wife or partner. So I

1082
00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:40,920
Speaker 2: didn't know that so postnal depression could happen to men.

1083
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:45,600
Speaker 3: I had no idea, and anxiety in general, all of

1084
00:54:45,640 --> 00:54:49,640
Speaker 3: this can happen to anyone, and it was someone said

1085
00:54:49,680 --> 00:54:51,880
Speaker 3: to Well, a lot of people said thank you for

1086
00:54:51,960 --> 00:54:55,759
Speaker 3: sharing this because this was how I could articulate to

1087
00:54:55,840 --> 00:54:59,960
Speaker 3: them how I feel. And they actually went away and said, Okay,

1088
00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:03,920
Speaker 3: I fully understand well to some extent what's going on.

1089
00:55:04,320 --> 00:55:09,200
Speaker 3: So if I've helped, gosh, one person feel more heard

1090
00:55:09,360 --> 00:55:13,440
Speaker 3: in their household when they're really struggling, then my job's done.

1091
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:15,719
Speaker 2: And it just opens up a convo like because Matt

1092
00:55:15,719 --> 00:55:17,960
Speaker 2: and I listened to that episode together and I said

1093
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:20,200
Speaker 2: to Matt, I was like, how does this compare to

1094
00:55:20,239 --> 00:55:21,719
Speaker 2: when you're feeling like you're in the think of it?

1095
00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:24,839
Speaker 2: And he goes for me, I panic an anxiety. So

1096
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:27,080
Speaker 2: he said, for me, it's a bit He goes, it

1097
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:30,720
Speaker 2: feels different to this, and because when you were sharing

1098
00:55:30,760 --> 00:55:34,600
Speaker 2: that experience that felt more depression based, and he was

1099
00:55:34,640 --> 00:55:36,719
Speaker 2: able to articulate like what it felt like for him

1100
00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:39,399
Speaker 2: in compared and like, we haven't had that conversation. We've

1101
00:55:39,440 --> 00:55:43,919
Speaker 2: totally talked about it loads love a chat, but this

1102
00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:47,040
Speaker 2: was it really open up a window for me to

1103
00:55:47,080 --> 00:55:49,120
Speaker 2: be able to kind of like sit and understand him

1104
00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:53,240
Speaker 2: a bit better. So how smart you're.

1105
00:55:52,320 --> 00:55:54,120
Speaker 1: A good Ad'll stop it.

1106
00:55:54,480 --> 00:55:56,000
Speaker 2: My final I could talk to you all day long,

1107
00:55:56,040 --> 00:55:58,439
Speaker 2: as you know. My final question is like, and you've

1108
00:55:58,480 --> 00:56:01,360
Speaker 2: touched on it without like sometimes with the older generation,

1109
00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:04,400
Speaker 2: but like, what about the stigma around mental health? Like

1110
00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:09,160
Speaker 2: it is hard even like our own age group. I

1111
00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:11,600
Speaker 2: remember I was dating someone and my therapist just said

1112
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:14,600
Speaker 2: to me we had a little bit of a rough patch.

1113
00:56:14,640 --> 00:56:16,160
Speaker 2: My therapist said, oh, can you just tell them that

1114
00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:17,480
Speaker 2: you've got me in your life? And I go what.

1115
00:56:18,360 --> 00:56:20,320
Speaker 2: My therapist goes, yeah, just tell them you've got a therapist.

1116
00:56:20,320 --> 00:56:22,920
Speaker 2: And I go whin And he's like, talk to me

1117
00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:25,400
Speaker 2: after I had no idea what would happen? So I

1118
00:56:25,480 --> 00:56:27,560
Speaker 2: sit down with this guy like we're thinking we're fully

1119
00:56:27,560 --> 00:56:29,600
Speaker 2: in love, we're you know, just going to talk through

1120
00:56:29,640 --> 00:56:32,040
Speaker 2: some like we're just having a bit of a hiccup.

1121
00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:34,160
Speaker 2: And I go, PS, I should let you know I've

1122
00:56:34,200 --> 00:56:36,920
Speaker 2: got a therapist. And I just washed this, watch this

1123
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:40,920
Speaker 2: judgment wash over this person's face. And I remember in

1124
00:56:40,920 --> 00:56:44,120
Speaker 2: that moment looking at him and then he caught himself

1125
00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:45,680
Speaker 2: and was like, oh, well, good for you kind of thing.

1126
00:56:45,719 --> 00:56:47,640
Speaker 2: And I just remember thinking, I'm never going to see

1127
00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:50,520
Speaker 2: you again. And so how do you go with the

1128
00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:54,360
Speaker 2: like stigma around meant sharing mental health stuff? Did do

1129
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:56,040
Speaker 2: you get any of that or is it usually the

1130
00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:58,680
Speaker 2: opposite that like, thank you so much because I feel

1131
00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:02,120
Speaker 2: like I've learned so much from your sharing, But I

1132
00:57:02,160 --> 00:57:04,200
Speaker 2: still feel like there is a bit of mental health Steimer.

1133
00:57:05,600 --> 00:57:10,760
Speaker 1: Strangely, it's the closer ones that are more silent.

1134
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:13,279
Speaker 2: Like family and stuff like that.

1135
00:57:13,400 --> 00:57:16,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel because they've got such a close connection

1136
00:57:17,080 --> 00:57:21,480
Speaker 3: to me, it's almost frightening to listen to. Like you

1137
00:57:21,520 --> 00:57:24,240
Speaker 3: don't want to hear a loved one have to suffer.

1138
00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:29,400
Speaker 3: You don't want to hear, you know, when they're unwell.

1139
00:57:30,160 --> 00:57:33,360
Speaker 2: Also like I'm not a parent, but I imagine parent. Yeah,

1140
00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:37,240
Speaker 2: And so with my parents. Yeah, and I can see

1141
00:57:37,240 --> 00:57:39,640
Speaker 2: it now when I look at my children. It's a

1142
00:57:39,720 --> 00:57:42,680
Speaker 2: terrifying thought to know that. Like when Mia says to me,

1143
00:57:43,240 --> 00:57:44,800
Speaker 2: Mum runs into my bed.

1144
00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:47,200
Speaker 1: Mom, I can't sleep, I can't sleep. What do I do?

1145
00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:51,880
Speaker 2: And I would usually panic. Now I lay next to

1146
00:57:52,360 --> 00:57:56,520
Speaker 2: me on my chest so she can hear your heart beat.

1147
00:57:56,920 --> 00:58:00,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, and self regulate. And I do this with my husband,

1148
00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:02,400
Speaker 1: and now I do it with anyone on the street.

1149
00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:04,240
Speaker 1: Now I don't I do it. I do it with

1150
00:58:04,360 --> 00:58:06,240
Speaker 1: like any child that's in my bed.

1151
00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:08,840
Speaker 3: Just self regulate if I need it, because it makes

1152
00:58:08,840 --> 00:58:11,000
Speaker 3: such a difference, and like that she goes to sleep.

1153
00:58:11,480 --> 00:58:16,080
Speaker 3: But with the outside world, I think I've had more

1154
00:58:16,560 --> 00:58:24,040
Speaker 3: recognition for helping strangers, yes, than what I have the

1155
00:58:24,080 --> 00:58:26,640
Speaker 3: inner circle. And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying

1156
00:58:26,640 --> 00:58:29,800
Speaker 3: the inner circle doesn't respect and appreciate what I do.

1157
00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:32,400
Speaker 3: But I know that it is a lot harder for

1158
00:58:32,480 --> 00:58:36,320
Speaker 3: my loved ones to hear and understand what I go through.

1159
00:58:36,680 --> 00:58:40,720
Speaker 3: So I think it's easier for the outsiders to go

1160
00:58:40,920 --> 00:58:42,240
Speaker 3: thank you so much for sharing.

1161
00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:45,040
Speaker 2: And I've got to say, like every message that comes

1162
00:58:45,080 --> 00:58:47,840
Speaker 2: through that says and you know, people don't listen to

1163
00:58:47,920 --> 00:58:51,320
Speaker 2: the podcast every week or my post every day.

1164
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:53,680
Speaker 1: Sometimes they're catching up from years ago.

1165
00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:56,840
Speaker 3: But when I get that message in my inbox and

1166
00:58:56,880 --> 00:59:02,120
Speaker 3: they're like you've genuinely changed, like you've you've made a

1167
00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:06,320
Speaker 3: difference in my life, that just it melts my melts

1168
00:59:06,360 --> 00:59:07,000
Speaker 3: my heart.

1169
00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:10,920
Speaker 2: It's a pretty beautiful kind of like sign that you're

1170
00:59:10,920 --> 00:59:12,240
Speaker 2: doing something pretty good, isn't it.

1171
00:59:12,320 --> 00:59:12,760
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1172
00:59:12,880 --> 00:59:16,320
Speaker 2: I hope so, but yeah, you're right, definitely, Yeah, yeah,

1173
00:59:16,360 --> 00:59:19,080
Speaker 2: it's cool. What's your this is? I promise I don't

1174
00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:23,320
Speaker 2: answer the laugh well. For someone that feels like they

1175
00:59:23,400 --> 00:59:25,000
Speaker 2: might be a little bit overwhelmed or in the thick

1176
00:59:25,040 --> 00:59:27,560
Speaker 2: of it at the moment right now, what would you say?

1177
00:59:28,440 --> 00:59:32,240
Speaker 3: I would say, go and have a cold shower, like

1178
00:59:32,480 --> 00:59:35,240
Speaker 3: put it on cold. It may or may not help,

1179
00:59:35,800 --> 00:59:39,080
Speaker 3: but have a go get out in nature. And I

1180
00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:41,560
Speaker 3: don't mean go out and find it, just go and

1181
00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:42,760
Speaker 3: have some fresh air.

1182
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:44,280
Speaker 1: And that's just the first thing.

1183
00:59:45,200 --> 00:59:49,320
Speaker 3: And then when you're feeling overwhelmed, write down what you

1184
00:59:49,440 --> 00:59:51,280
Speaker 3: are feeling overwhelmed.

1185
00:59:50,720 --> 00:59:52,720
Speaker 1: With, like what is it?

1186
00:59:52,800 --> 00:59:54,600
Speaker 3: You don't have to make sense of it, just write

1187
00:59:54,600 --> 00:59:57,960
Speaker 3: whatever comes to your mind. And booking with your GP

1188
00:59:58,960 --> 01:00:02,400
Speaker 3: because you can have a six month or a six

1189
01:00:02,480 --> 01:00:05,360
Speaker 3: week mental health No, what is it?

1190
01:00:05,480 --> 01:00:07,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, so if you go to your GP with COVID,

1191
01:00:07,880 --> 01:00:11,040
Speaker 2: it was like I think it was twenty See the bastards.

1192
01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:12,840
Speaker 3: Have drawn it back like we're all fine again. It's like,

1193
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:14,720
Speaker 3: hang on, we're just stepping into it.

1194
01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:17,000
Speaker 2: It's halved I think. But you basically you can go

1195
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:20,880
Speaker 2: to your GP and a certain amount is covered with Medicare. Yeah. Yeah,

1196
01:00:20,880 --> 01:00:23,439
Speaker 2: and you can get it refreshed as well throughout the year.

1197
01:00:23,600 --> 01:00:27,320
Speaker 2: So it gives you the chance to have cheaper psychology

1198
01:00:27,360 --> 01:00:28,760
Speaker 2: and psychiatric sessions.

1199
01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:33,000
Speaker 3: So definitely do that. And obviously if you are at

1200
01:00:33,040 --> 01:00:36,640
Speaker 3: a real low point, then you can also call Lifeline.

1201
01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:39,760
Speaker 1: And yeah it's great it.

1202
01:00:39,720 --> 01:00:43,440
Speaker 3: Or you can message me now, don't do that. I

1203
01:00:43,480 --> 01:00:44,920
Speaker 3: don't want to be No.

1204
01:00:44,720 --> 01:00:47,840
Speaker 2: No, no, that was perfect. That was so perfect, and you

1205
01:00:47,920 --> 01:00:50,920
Speaker 2: are wonderful or thank you. Thank you for sharing so

1206
01:00:51,040 --> 01:00:53,880
Speaker 2: much your heart on this pod. It's an absolute honor.

1207
01:00:54,280 --> 01:00:55,520
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for having me.

1208
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:03,160
Speaker 2: That's a wrap on an another episode of Fearlessly Failing.

1209
01:01:03,840 --> 01:01:07,320
Speaker 2: As always, thank you to our guests, and let's continue

1210
01:01:07,360 --> 01:01:13,200
Speaker 2: the conversation on Instagram. I'm at Yamo Lollerberry. This potty

1211
01:01:13,680 --> 01:01:17,919
Speaker 2: my word for podcast is available on all streaming platforms.

1212
01:01:18,360 --> 01:01:21,360
Speaker 2: I'd love it if you could subscribe, RPE and comment,

1213
01:01:21,600 --> 01:01:23,520
Speaker 2: and of course spread the love.