1 00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:05,400 Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. 2 00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:08,960 Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just 3 00:00:09,119 --> 00:00:10,000 Speaker 2: wants answers. 4 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:10,760 Speaker 1: Now good. 5 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 3: It's doctor Justin Coilson, the author of a whole bunch 6 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 3: of books about how to make your family happier. Still 7 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:18,599 Speaker 3: enjoying holidays with you, Kylie and our kids. 8 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:19,239 Speaker 1: Kylie is my. 9 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:22,279 Speaker 3: Wife, co host on the podcast, and mum to our 10 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:23,640 Speaker 3: six daughters. 11 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,840 Speaker 2: I'm grateful that you are still enjoying holidays with me. 12 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:28,319 Speaker 1: Yeah, how could I not? 13 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:31,680 Speaker 3: Hey, because we're having holidays trying to keep the podcast 14 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:33,599 Speaker 3: short and simple so that you can spend as much 15 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:35,879 Speaker 3: time as possible with your family while still getting some 16 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:38,640 Speaker 3: useful hints and tips to make your family happier. And 17 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:42,319 Speaker 3: I was thinking just recently about one of my all 18 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:45,560 Speaker 3: time favorite movies. You're looking at me like you don't 19 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:47,000 Speaker 3: know what my all time favorite movies are? 20 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:48,040 Speaker 2: Was it Top Gun? 21 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:51,519 Speaker 1: Oh? Come on, are you serious? Are you serious? Do 22 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:52,760 Speaker 1: you really just say that to me? 23 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:53,320 Speaker 4: Yeah? 24 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,600 Speaker 2: You were so excited when I got its new release. 25 00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:58,280 Speaker 1: Our Top Gun two is still yet to be released. 26 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,920 Speaker 4: You were excited when you heard it was coming. Yes, 27 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:02,760 Speaker 4: and you made me watch the first one because I've 28 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:03,440 Speaker 4: never seen. 29 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 1: It and I can't believe how bad it was. 30 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:07,200 Speaker 4: I can't believe how bad it was either, but you 31 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:09,080 Speaker 4: made me watch it, so I thigured it was must 32 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:10,479 Speaker 4: have been your best, your favorite one. 33 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:12,000 Speaker 1: And I did grin like an idiot the whole way. 34 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:14,400 Speaker 2: The whole way through. You reminded me of some fifteen 35 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:15,759 Speaker 2: year old teenage boy. 36 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:18,720 Speaker 1: It was kind of it was kind of positively nostalgic 37 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:20,560 Speaker 1: for me. I really enjoyed watching it. Anyway. 38 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,480 Speaker 4: That's okay, So clearly that's not your favorite movie, No, no, no, no, 39 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:24,640 Speaker 4: is it Braveheart? 40 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,640 Speaker 3: No, it used to be. I watched that just recently 41 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:30,880 Speaker 3: during these holidays. I was pretty disappointed with it, and 42 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:33,800 Speaker 3: I found it like the world has changed since nineteen 43 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,679 Speaker 3: I think it came out in like nineteen ninety six. 44 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 3: Mel Gibson is there with this almost teenage girl who 45 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:43,000 Speaker 3: he marries, and he's meant to be the same age, 46 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,760 Speaker 3: but he looks like he's fifty years old. And I 47 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:48,000 Speaker 3: was watching it and cringing the whole time, just going, wow, 48 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 3: I'm just so. 49 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:52,000 Speaker 1: Offended by this. It's not right. And then there was 50 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:53,800 Speaker 1: just the whole movie. 51 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:55,680 Speaker 3: I didn't I didn't like it nearly as much as 52 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,560 Speaker 3: we did back in the nineties. But no, it's not Braveheart, 53 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:00,480 Speaker 3: which used to be one my favorites. Princess Bride used 54 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:01,559 Speaker 3: to be a favorite of mine as well. 55 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:04,240 Speaker 2: You're not going to guess, Okay, well you better tell 56 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:04,560 Speaker 2: me then. 57 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:06,320 Speaker 3: I don't think I could guess what you'd say, by 58 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:08,320 Speaker 3: the way, I reckon, you'd say Mission Impossible. You like 59 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:09,200 Speaker 3: Mission Impossible? 60 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:13,320 Speaker 2: Really, really, that's what you're gonna say my favorite movie is. 61 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:15,200 Speaker 1: Or you'd say one of those rom coms, like my 62 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:17,839 Speaker 1: best Friend's Wedding? Oh my, what would you say? 63 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,480 Speaker 4: What's your best I can't say it on the podcast. 64 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:21,639 Speaker 4: My parents might be listening. 65 00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:22,800 Speaker 1: What's your favorite movie? 66 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:23,680 Speaker 2: Pretty Woman? 67 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:29,520 Speaker 3: I was close with Princess with It's got Julia robertson it. 68 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:31,960 Speaker 1: Come on, no, Pretty Woman? Really you like that that much? 69 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:33,880 Speaker 2: I really like it, I reckon. I haven't watched it 70 00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:34,560 Speaker 2: for twenty years. 71 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,440 Speaker 1: I reckon if you watched it again now, you wouldn't 72 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:38,320 Speaker 1: love it as much as you have. I really if I. 73 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:40,200 Speaker 2: Had somebody to watch it with. But I don't know. 74 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:41,639 Speaker 1: I'm not going to watch Pretty Women. 75 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,400 Speaker 4: I have to watch Mission Impossible. And I thought you 76 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:46,799 Speaker 4: really like Fast and the Furious. 77 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:49,680 Speaker 1: Oh you that's the kids, not me. Come on all right. 78 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:51,560 Speaker 3: One of my favorite movies in the last few years, 79 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:55,519 Speaker 3: mister Rogers Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood. 80 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:57,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, that was a bit weird for me. 81 00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:00,000 Speaker 1: Oh gosh, I thought it was beautiful. 82 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:02,040 Speaker 3: For those of you who haven't seen it, I just 83 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:03,359 Speaker 3: think that's one of the best movies ever. 84 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:05,320 Speaker 1: This podcast has already gone too long, by the way, 85 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:06,360 Speaker 1: way too long. 86 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,520 Speaker 3: But we're just going to finish the thought because we 87 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:10,520 Speaker 3: wanted to be short and sweet and it's important, so 88 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:12,000 Speaker 3: Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood. 89 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,000 Speaker 2: We can get short or sweet, but we're going to 90 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:14,440 Speaker 2: finish it. 91 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:16,160 Speaker 1: Tom Hanks is in it. 92 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,519 Speaker 3: He plays the part of mister Rodgers, this television character 93 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:22,320 Speaker 3: who was enormously important in the United States for about 94 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:26,600 Speaker 3: thirty years he had this TV show, but in Australia 95 00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:30,080 Speaker 3: we really didn't get to see it. But mister Rodgers 96 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:34,680 Speaker 3: shows up touches people every single day every episode, not 97 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 3: physically touching, no, no, emotionally psychologically every single episode for 98 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:42,160 Speaker 3: about thirty years. He sings this song it's exactly the 99 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:45,240 Speaker 3: same song to start the show as he walks through 100 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 3: the front door of his house on set. 101 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:48,160 Speaker 2: Are you going to sing? 102 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:48,800 Speaker 1: No? 103 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:50,880 Speaker 3: And then he takes his jacket and shoes off and 104 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:53,400 Speaker 3: puts on a cardigan and his inside shoes that feel 105 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,040 Speaker 3: more comfortable, and he does it every single episode. It 106 00:03:56,080 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 3: never changes. He's completely consistent. It's about order, routine, consistency, predictability, dependability. 107 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:03,360 Speaker 1: Do you know where I'm going there? 108 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 2: Consistency matters. 109 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:05,080 Speaker 1: Yeah. 110 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,480 Speaker 3: These are the hallmarks of mister Rogers's decades of success 111 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:10,080 Speaker 3: on the screen, and I think that they're the hallmarks 112 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 3: of success in our family. And I'm not talking so 113 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 3: much about discipline routine around managing behavior and bedtimes and 114 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:16,920 Speaker 3: chort charts and all the things that children a supposed 115 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:17,120 Speaker 3: to get. 116 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:17,240 Speaker 1: Pa. 117 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,160 Speaker 2: You are into a card again on and your slippers. 118 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 3: Well, these things are important, there's no doubt about that. 119 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,080 Speaker 3: I'm talking about something else. I'm talking about being predictable 120 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:28,119 Speaker 3: and consistent, dependable when we listen so that our kids 121 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:31,719 Speaker 3: know that we're understanding them, or being predictable and consistent 122 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:34,600 Speaker 3: and dependable when we say that we'll be there so that. 123 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 1: They can trust us that we actually will. 124 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:39,320 Speaker 3: I'm talking about being predictable and consistent, dependable when we 125 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,640 Speaker 3: say that we're going to do something and we actually 126 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,560 Speaker 3: do it so that we can build integrity. 127 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 2: Keep our promises. 128 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:47,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm talking about being predictable and consistent, 129 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 3: dependable in the way that we treat others, so that 130 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:53,240 Speaker 3: we can demonstrate by example our inclusivity. I'm talking about 131 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:58,679 Speaker 3: the predictable, consistent, dependable reality of saying I love you 132 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:00,320 Speaker 3: to our kids so they feel secure. 133 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:00,880 Speaker 1: And they know that they matter. 134 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:02,920 Speaker 2: You know, we had a child the other day. 135 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:06,120 Speaker 4: She had a conversation and told us that we have 136 00:05:06,279 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 4: not been consistent enough in teaching her hygiene. 137 00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:12,520 Speaker 1: Yeah. I couldn't believe that. It's like we tell you, 138 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:12,839 Speaker 1: she said. 139 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:14,680 Speaker 2: You've been really good at teaching me how to love 140 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:16,680 Speaker 2: people and be kind. She said, but I don't think 141 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:18,160 Speaker 2: you've done a really good job at hygiene. 142 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:20,560 Speaker 4: I said, Oh, so those conversations we had every day 143 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:22,599 Speaker 4: about brushing your teeth morning and night. 144 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:24,719 Speaker 1: Go and have a shower for the fiftieth time. 145 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,280 Speaker 2: She didn't have much to say after that, did she? 146 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,760 Speaker 3: She was like, well, I shower three times a week. 147 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:33,960 Speaker 3: They know, do better. We have been teaching you this 148 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:34,400 Speaker 3: for years. 149 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:34,760 Speaker 1: Anyway. 150 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:39,479 Speaker 3: There's a book called How a Mighty Fall by Jim Collins, 151 00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:43,680 Speaker 3: and he says, and I quote the signature of mediocrity 152 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 3: is chronic inconsistency. 153 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 2: We don't want that. 154 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:52,119 Speaker 3: No, So school holidays are almost over for most people 155 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:54,680 Speaker 3: around Australia, and who knows wherever else you might be 156 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:57,160 Speaker 3: in the world, maybe you're finishing your school holidays as well. 157 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,920 Speaker 1: And I think that we need a challenge around being consistent. 158 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:04,640 Speaker 4: So I think that we need to get clear about 159 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:07,680 Speaker 4: what we need to be consistent about moving into term 160 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:09,239 Speaker 4: three and make a plan. 161 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:12,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, sit down with the kids and work out how 162 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,839 Speaker 3: you're going to be consistent. Week one is where it 163 00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:16,080 Speaker 3: all starts. Get the routines right. 164 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:16,680 Speaker 2: Do you know what? 165 00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:19,000 Speaker 4: I'm going to pull you up there? Because week one 166 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:20,800 Speaker 4: is not where it starts. It actually needs to start 167 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:21,479 Speaker 4: before week. 168 00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:22,880 Speaker 3: Well, that's right, it kind of starts now and the 169 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:24,960 Speaker 3: days leading up to week one yep. Just like your 170 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:27,920 Speaker 3: morning starts the night before, week one starts the week before. 171 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:31,359 Speaker 3: So the challenge is get your house in order, get 172 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:33,039 Speaker 3: ready for school to go back, and make sure you 173 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:37,719 Speaker 3: can start in a stress free, easy going manner. Sound good, 174 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:40,039 Speaker 3: Let's do it, okay, and be consistent as well in 175 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 3: the way you show your kids you love them. The 176 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:44,719 Speaker 3: Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Rulin from Bridge 177 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:48,040 Speaker 3: Media and Craig Bruce is our executive producer. If you 178 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:50,080 Speaker 3: want more info about how to make your family happier, 179 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:52,200 Speaker 3: you can find it all at happy families dot com 180 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:54,680 Speaker 3: dot au. And sorry for talking so long in this one. 181 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:57,280 Speaker 3: I know we said short and sweet. We've been pretty good. 182 00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:59,040 Speaker 3: We've been pretty short and pretty sweet, but this one's 183 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:02,320 Speaker 3: gone a bit. I'm forgive us. Next time, we'll be 184 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:03,080 Speaker 3: short this sweet again. 185 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:03,520 Speaker 1: Our promise. 186 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:11,160 Speaker 4: Mm hmm