Speaker 1: Well, at that time of the week, it's Thursday Therapy Thursday,
Speaker 1: Ask Guncut. It's what we do every week on our podcast,
Speaker 1: Life Uncut podcast where we answer your deep, dark and
Speaker 1: burning questions. Today we have Jess on the line, who
Speaker 1: is having some issues trying to merge her relationships with
Speaker 1: her friendship group and her husband. Hi, Jess, welcome to
Speaker 1: the show High Jazz.
Speaker 2: So what's the problem.
Speaker 3: What's been happening with your husband and why doesn't he
Speaker 3: want to hang out with your friends?
Speaker 4: So I've been married for about a year and a
Speaker 4: half honest years now, and me and my friends were
Speaker 4: all lock and that tenn thirty this year. My husband
Speaker 4: cannot tolerate them. And it was fine at the start,
Speaker 4: but like now it's going to the point where he
Speaker 4: does not want to come to their thirtieth and just
Speaker 4: doesn't want to hang around and be there for anything
Speaker 4: any other big events. I'm a bit torn.
Speaker 2: You can't tolerate them? Like how many friends? Are we talking?
Speaker 2: All your friends or just like specific friends.
Speaker 4: Just specific friends, but a big bunch of them, like
Speaker 4: a big group of them.
Speaker 1: Has he told you why? Like the specific reasons? Is
Speaker 1: it something they do or say? Is an action they've
Speaker 1: done in the past, or what is it say.
Speaker 4: Very narcissistic and too richies and he doesn't mind. To
Speaker 4: be honest, I think it's just girls being girls.
Speaker 3: In comparison though, if you're gonna go, like, if you're
Speaker 3: going to be objective about this in comparison to other
Speaker 3: friends and friendship groups that you have, are they.
Speaker 2: Do you think they are?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 2: Does he have a point a bit? That's tricky, isn't it.
Speaker 4: That's tricky because for ages and you've like, I don't
Speaker 4: see them that way in a day to day basis.
Speaker 1: It's tricky if you can recognize it, because it sort
Speaker 1: of means you have to validate his feelings like you
Speaker 1: can't he's not overreacting or if you can genuinely see
Speaker 1: where he's coming from. That's really hard. There definitely has
Speaker 1: to be some things I believe in life as couples
Speaker 1: that you do even when you don't want to, Like,
Speaker 1: there are things that you have to turn up to
Speaker 1: and front up to as a couple. Maybe they're like
Speaker 1: the bigger life events, not they're just like a Saturday
Speaker 1: dinner or whatever. Like if you can't stand the people
Speaker 1: you're going to be around, you don't have to go
Speaker 1: things like weddings or engagements or a thirtieth or whatever
Speaker 1: it is. I think occasionally he needs to suck it
Speaker 1: up and throw.
Speaker 2: You a bone.
Speaker 4: I definitely think so too.
Speaker 2: Does he have many friends that are women?
Speaker 4: No, he doesn't. Actually, yeah, guys.
Speaker 3: It's interesting because like I kind of hate the generalization
Speaker 3: of like, oh, that they're just bitchy because they're women.
Speaker 3: It's just how women behave because obviously not all women
Speaker 3: are like that. So I think if he had more
Speaker 3: female friends, I'd be like, oh, okay, you know, it's
Speaker 3: just a specific group of people. But if he doesn't
Speaker 3: really have any female friends and yet he's like quite
Speaker 3: exclusionary to the people that you're friends with, I don't know.
Speaker 3: Part of me is like there does come a line
Speaker 3: where you do just have to make a bit of
Speaker 3: effort and yes, but.
Speaker 1: There also comes a line where you're old enough where
Speaker 1: you're like, I don't want to hang out with someone.
Speaker 2: I don't like it anymore.
Speaker 1: My time and energy is precious. Like there's a I
Speaker 1: see both sides.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's different.
Speaker 3: I Mean, we kind of just covered it, but it's
Speaker 3: different between just going out for dinner or like someone's
Speaker 3: birthday or a big event.
Speaker 2: I think for those types of things.
Speaker 3: Unfortunately, he just has to suck it up if it's important,
Speaker 3: because if he really puts his foot down and puts
Speaker 3: zero effort in, wants nothing to do with them, and
Speaker 3: he makes that aware to them, it's just going to
Speaker 3: cause so many unnecessary issues for everyone.
Speaker 1: Just have a question when you go to these events,
Speaker 1: like just so you go into a dinner, is he
Speaker 1: just coming along with like ten girls or are their
Speaker 1: partners coming to like have you thrown him in the
Speaker 1: deep end just on his owner?
Speaker 2: Or there are the men there to talk to.
Speaker 4: There's other men there too.
Speaker 1: He doesn't like them, mother and my friends cousins, and.
Speaker 4: He's fine with them, like you think so the fine
Speaker 4: and hear a complex me at home and he's like,
Speaker 4: oh they're so like normal and show I don't know
Speaker 4: how to deal with you people.
Speaker 2: Oh I don't know. I feel like he's dramatizing. Suck
Speaker 2: it up.
Speaker 1: Put him on the edge of the table, like the
Speaker 1: men can go down the end that way. He's turned up,
Speaker 1: But he doesn't have to speak to twenty one. He
Speaker 1: doesn't want to speak to you, but I think I
Speaker 1: think you need to give Hi a bit of leniency
Speaker 1: on the day to day stuff and just he needs
Speaker 1: to show up on those bigger things.
Speaker 4: I think so too.
Speaker 2: Thank you, You're so welcome, Jess.
Speaker 3: Well, if you want to get some great advice like that, everyone,
Speaker 3: you can give us a call, or you can head
Speaker 3: on over to the kiss Win page where you can enter.
Speaker 2: You can also win yourself a prize if you get
Speaker 2: on air with us.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't really have to have that issue,
Speaker 1: like with my fiance Ben being overseas, we don't really
Speaker 1: cross contaminate our friendship groups. Like we just go in
Speaker 1: our own little world when we're together.
Speaker 3: So when you are together, you will happily spend time
Speaker 3: with each other's friends.
Speaker 2: It's not like I don't have many friends. Well, you
Speaker 2: should work on that, you're it. Unfortunately,