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Speaker 1: My Heart podcasts, hear more kiss podcasts, playlists, and listen

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Speaker 1: live on the Free I.

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Speaker 2: Had you had a couple's massage? Yes, how'd you go?

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Speaker 3: Not good? Yeah? All right? Well, going to warn me

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Speaker 3: about that.

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Speaker 2: You knew I was going away for a couple's massage

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Speaker 2: on the weekend Sim's birthday.

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Speaker 3: You were very excited about it. Who am I to

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Speaker 3: put a hole in your sale?

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Speaker 1: I was like, no, no, no, it actually sounds amazing

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Speaker 1: what you organized.

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Speaker 2: A friend, that's what you are, and I think that's

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Speaker 2: what friends are. Four sometimes you can they're the people

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Speaker 2: you rely on to put holes.

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Speaker 3: In your sales.

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Speaker 1: But you came to me after you'd booked it, like

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Speaker 1: you were already telling me about all your plans, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, for a refund?

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Speaker 3: Well I did? I did tweak on in a separate room.

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Speaker 3: I tweaked your Ah. Yeah, no, I definitely should have

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Speaker 3: said things. I definitely should have said things.

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Speaker 1: The same room's tough, isn't it, because you're hearing all

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Speaker 1: the conversations and you're hearing definitely, so I didn't go

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Speaker 1: well for you.

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Speaker 2: It was Sam's birthday on the weekend. We'd have for

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Speaker 2: lunch with this lovely lunch at ten minutes by Trektor

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Speaker 2: on the Victorian. Intiful. Anyway, she's pregnant, so she drove.

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Speaker 2: I had a few wines.

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Speaker 3: Beautiful.

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Speaker 2: It was great that I had to organize all of

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Speaker 2: this on my own, so without SAMs, I couldn't really confer. So,

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Speaker 2: you know, they were asking me just just you have

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Speaker 2: a preference in terms of messus. I said, she wants

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Speaker 2: a female Messus, and they said, do you have a preference,

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Speaker 2: And I said I would also like a female Messus,

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Speaker 2: which was a bit strange.

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Speaker 3: That's I kind of whispered into the phone, and I'm

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Speaker 3: not sure why.

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Speaker 1: I don't like it when they ask you, I was

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Speaker 1: just like, I obviously want a woman. Yeah obviously, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: what's not obvious. I don't think it's obvious why it's

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Speaker 1: okay to have that preference. We don't why.

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Speaker 3: Or thank you? Okay. So anyway, so I got there

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Speaker 3: for Steve know and everyone Steve Steve, Steve's available all day.

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Speaker 3: He is deep in a game of Solitaire in his computer.

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Speaker 2: So anyway, I got in there, and so we have

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Speaker 2: these two lovely women. The first thing was so yes,

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Speaker 2: I had had a few wines, but Also I was

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Speaker 2: very sore and I don't know if you can get massages,

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Speaker 2: so on the sheet they were like what sore? And

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Speaker 2: I was like my shoulders, my lower neck, my lower back,

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Speaker 2: my hamstrings, my glutes, and my calves.

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Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, and she should have said all of them.

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Speaker 3: And she was like yeah.

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Speaker 2: And then already we're on the wrong foot because she

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Speaker 2: was like, is there anything you don't want?

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Speaker 3: Will? And I was like, all right, here we go.

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Speaker 3: The massu said that or said that, and all of

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Speaker 3: a sudden I wanted Steve, you know, like yeah.

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Speaker 2: So there was attitude. And then she waved these smells

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Speaker 2: in my face. To know which oil I wanted, I

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Speaker 2: had to have my eyes closed and wearing so I'm

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Speaker 2: wearing the speed I'm wearing, just wearing my speedoes because

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Speaker 2: I wanted to go on the pools afterwards. Good I

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Speaker 2: had a private pool, so but I was just a

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Speaker 2: aspeedos and she was like oh. So she waved these

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Speaker 2: oils under my face and she said which one do

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Speaker 2: you like? And I said, can I smell them again?

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Speaker 2: Because I've forgotten and you didn't give them a name

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Speaker 2: because she was like, you just meant to go, you

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Speaker 2: know where, your heart leads you. And I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: but I'd like to know what they do. And she

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Speaker 2: was like no, just what And I was like, I

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Speaker 2: can't remember which one, so I'll just go I'll just

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Speaker 2: go number two, you know. So yeah, so I ended

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Speaker 2: up going, no, going number two. You don't even know

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Speaker 2: what that was already, it's just not going well. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and then she's like, oh, just in your baths and

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Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, well, how would you like me?

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Speaker 2: That's a weird question to ask, but she said how

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Speaker 2: would you like it? She said, We'll give you some

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Speaker 2: disposable underwear.

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Speaker 3: The net the netting mate, Yeah, no, no, that is and.

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Speaker 2: It's just not why did a whole new definition to

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Speaker 2: the term budget smuggler?

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Speaker 3: Like those things are intense.

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Speaker 2: And then Sem and I they leave the room, so

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Speaker 2: Sem and I get changed into them, you know, by ourselves,

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Speaker 2: and Sam's just absolutely.

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Speaker 3: Losing it because she's like, you look ridiculous.

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Speaker 2: I don't want I don't want anything to do with

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Speaker 2: this is why I don't do massages.

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Speaker 3: This is so this is humiliating. Are you talking about

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Speaker 3: the it's like hairnet material?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, yeah, yeah awful, And it's kind

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Speaker 1: of seen through as well.

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Speaker 3: Yes, it feels a bit strange.

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Speaker 1: I was like, why couldn't why don't you let me

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Speaker 1: leave my speedos on?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: No, I was like I was in I was in bathers.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and I wonder why?

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Speaker 2: And then and then I mean that what they do

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Speaker 2: is they tuck the tail underneath you, and jeez, they tucked.

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Speaker 3: The towel underneath you. I just didn't. I just I

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Speaker 3: don't know. I just I realized I didn't like it.

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Speaker 2: The final bit for me was this, like at the end,

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Speaker 2: I just like, you know, like they should also.

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Speaker 3: Say to you beforehand, before you're getting.

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Speaker 2: Your massage, like, hey, are you coming in here for

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Speaker 2: like a clinical massage where you got sour stuff? Or

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Speaker 2: do you want to like do you want to feel

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Speaker 2: like you're on a retreat in the seventies in Wisconsin?

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Speaker 3: Like is this a hippie?

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Speaker 2: Like are you looking for spiritual enlightening along with your massage?

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Speaker 1: I wasn't sure, but they were forcing the spiritual enlightenment

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Speaker 1: on you, do you think yes?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay.

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Speaker 2: And then at the end they were standing in front

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Speaker 2: of us and she was like breathe in together and

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Speaker 2: then exhale for rejuvenation.

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Speaker 3: So we both do that, laughing already.

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Speaker 2: Of already, and then she goes and inhale again, and

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Speaker 2: then she was like an exhale for.

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Speaker 3: Life, and we were like.

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Speaker 2: Oh and then and then the final one was inhale

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Speaker 2: together and she goes and our exhale for inspiration, and

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Speaker 2: I was, mate, I'm wearing a hairnet for chocks, steering

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Speaker 2: into a forty five year old woman's crutch.

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Speaker 3: I am not inspired, Steve. I'll have you next time, mate,