Speaker 1: Just stood a couple of mitches.
Speaker 2: Raise yourself for the rude shocks of young adults.
Speaker 3: So what if the plan with this guy you've been
Speaker 3: chatting to on Grinder? Are you gonna pull this weekend?
Speaker 1: No, I've got dinner with Rebel Wilson this weekend, so
Speaker 1: I can't.
Speaker 3: Don't you hate it when you've got a Grinder hook up,
Speaker 3: but you have to go to dinner with Rebel Wilson
Speaker 3: If I had a dollar.
Speaker 1: Julie and Mitchell Coos, how are you? Are you agreed
Speaker 1: to be back? Mitchell?
Speaker 3: This is giving last day of school vibes. For some reason?
Speaker 1: Should we just wrap up the shit? The season? Early?
Speaker 1: Season five is what basically done for the year.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well we've got next week. But this does, for
Speaker 3: some reason have finale energy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it does, because listen to what.
Speaker 3: We've got planned today. Idiots. Oh my god, Roving Report
Speaker 3: Oscar is on another mission. They're always a bit chaotic,
Speaker 3: aren't they?
Speaker 1: Yeah, a bit nuts, to be honest. We've done a couple,
Speaker 1: but the last this one was so well received. When
Speaker 1: we sent Roving Reporter Oscar into the streets of Sydney
Speaker 1: to sniff rugs, I was with Oscar at an event. Mitch,
Speaker 1: you and I were at the TikTok Awards. Price Kiby
Speaker 1: Jenny who's here was there as well, and we had
Speaker 1: three people approach us all when we were in a
Speaker 1: group having a drink to say, oh my god. I
Speaker 1: just wanted to say Mitch and I, you know, fixed
Speaker 1: our hair and said, can't wait for the photos to
Speaker 1: be taken. They went to Oscar and said we loved
Speaker 1: the rug safing video.
Speaker 3: Well, more of that kind of bullshit coming up today.
Speaker 3: And also we're just flat out watching Pawn on the podcast.
Speaker 1: We've reached a new low.
Speaker 3: So that's what I mean when I say it feels
Speaker 3: like it's muck Up Day. It feels like this should
Speaker 3: be the last day, but it's not. What We're back
Speaker 3: next week.
Speaker 1: Well, so I love that. It does feel like a
Speaker 1: show that hasn't been planned. Sometimes we don't plan things
Speaker 1: like let's just watch porn, do something done, but we
Speaker 1: have planned both the Pawn and the Roving Report.
Speaker 3: And this is because you were telling me that you've
Speaker 3: got a VR goggle thing, which I've never done that
Speaker 3: in my life, so I'm very curious about it.
Speaker 1: In general, it was a Christmas gift a couple of
Speaker 1: years ago, and at Christmas I showed all my aunties
Speaker 1: and uncles and all my relatives the VR porn. And
Speaker 1: this was pre this was like the early days of
Speaker 1: the virtual reality world. So there was only heterosexual porn
Speaker 1: and it was only like mum, you know, raw dog
Speaker 1: by step Son. That was. But now I've done some
Speaker 1: research the gays have via porn.
Speaker 3: I love how it's literally researched. Yeah, you were watching
Speaker 3: porn for research?
Speaker 1: Yeah, those three jerkofs last week. We're all tax right off, Jenna,
Speaker 1: have you ever seen gay porn? No? Never, I like
Speaker 1: to think that you don't even watch porn. No, No,
Speaker 1: you're just no Jenna in my eyes, generous, just Jenna.
Speaker 1: When she leaves the podcast, she goes into a cryo
Speaker 1: chamber and freezes herself to the text her and go,
Speaker 1: we want you for the podcast again. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I'm still a bit chilly. Yeah, can you
Speaker 3: defrost Genoine?
Speaker 2: Need you?
Speaker 1: Obviously?
Speaker 3: Yeah I didn't realize that. Obviously didn't haven't watched gay porn.
Speaker 3: But would you be curious? I am curious. You can
Speaker 3: strap the to be on too, that's all coming.
Speaker 1: Do you know where we put it right? Yeah, okay, good, Sorry,
Speaker 1: it's just a shock if it's your first time learning.
Speaker 1: I mean even I was shocked when I realized I
Speaker 1: had to do it. Yes, anyway, welcome everyone, if it
Speaker 1: is your first time listening, this is Is it just me?
Speaker 1: Every show we start the same with it Is it
Speaker 1: just me? Something we've noticed, something we hate to appreciate.
Speaker 3: Today we're kicking it off with the caller, aren't we
Speaker 3: all around?
Speaker 2: Today?
Speaker 1: Today we have Hailey joining us from a central coast.
Speaker 1: Hello Haley, Haley?
Speaker 3: Hello, how are you not too bad? Darling? Have you
Speaker 3: got anither? It's me for it?
Speaker 4: I do, I do?
Speaker 1: How old you been listening to the show? Give us
Speaker 1: the goss I've been about a year now.
Speaker 3: Cut.
Speaker 1: I like how you say that the newby but we're
Speaker 1: in a relationship. It's been about a year now.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Like when people have babies and they're like, yeah, my
Speaker 4: baby's like thirty two.
Speaker 3: Months, I don't know what that means.
Speaker 1: Honestly, A baby's a baby to me until it can
Speaker 1: like start talking. Yeah, I mean, and I also hate
Speaker 1: eachim on the fly, But I'm not buying a baby
Speaker 1: a gift that it won't really give a shit about
Speaker 1: until it's old enough to go. I can thank you,
Speaker 1: Uncle Mitch. I want cloud.
Speaker 3: Yes, I buy my nieces and nephew's shoes every Christmas
Speaker 3: because it's helpful. They're obviously going to wear them. That's good.
Speaker 3: It's sort of a present for the parents too.
Speaker 4: We love a practical gift.
Speaker 3: We fucking love a practical favorite Uncle Jamie, She's a
Speaker 3: really good gift giver, to be honest, he gives great
Speaker 3: I don't say that. I still haven't shopped for our
Speaker 3: secret Sander present. I've got no idea, neither of I,
Speaker 3: to be honest, fifty bucks was the limit?
Speaker 1: Right, that's next week? All right, Hayley, Bradley will count
Speaker 1: you in hit us with your rigin? Is it just me?
Speaker 4: Are you as confused as me? How the fuck seedless
Speaker 4: fruit work?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: What is it?
Speaker 1: Seedless fruit? Seedless fruit? Oh? My god?
Speaker 2: Like great grow.
Speaker 1: That's a really good idea. That's like, that's like spermless
Speaker 1: men having baby because the seeds, the seeds are are
Speaker 1: what grown? You plans?
Speaker 4: I know, my God, Like, how how do you go? Okay,
Speaker 4: I'm going to get these greats, but I'm also going
Speaker 4: to do this seedless, but then how do you take
Speaker 4: that seedless variety and continue it on? So thank you.
Speaker 4: I'm so glad that I'm not the only person on
Speaker 4: I feel like.
Speaker 3: Grapes have seeds, don't they.
Speaker 1: There's varieties of new ones that are to have no seeds.
Speaker 3: Cotton candy ones, they don't have seeds. They're actually removing them.
Speaker 1: Yes, they genetically modify them to get rid of the seeds.
Speaker 1: You know, avocados back in the day were inedible because
Speaker 1: the seed was ninety percent of the fruit. Nowadays, that
Speaker 1: genetically modified them so that other avocado pits today.
Speaker 4: See as soon as you as genetically modified to things
Speaker 4: you're lockering like, spec doesn't exist.
Speaker 3: I am quite fond of a seedless watermelon. Fuck those
Speaker 3: black bathts. It looks like flies off to the watermelon.
Speaker 1: Seedless fruit, such as naval oranges are propagated asexually, usually
Speaker 1: by grafting.
Speaker 3: Asexually.
Speaker 1: They're propagated vegeatively from cuttings by grafting. What the hell?
Speaker 3: I don't know any of that means? When the fact
Speaker 3: did we become The Birk's Backyard Podcast.
Speaker 1: In such cases, bananas are essentially genetic clones of each other.
Speaker 3: What on earth is going on in the background there? Hailey,
Speaker 3: Oh sorry, we just got in the car. Who's we Oh?
Speaker 4: The family?
Speaker 3: Can we stay?
Speaker 5: Hi?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Boys and Britt can we please say hi? On three
Speaker 4: one two three?
Speaker 1: Hi? Everyone? Where are we going? The fruit market?
Speaker 4: Me, my girlfriend and the two boys are going to
Speaker 4: the circuit the circus.
Speaker 1: We'll put us on speaker. Fine, that's so fun. How
Speaker 1: long have you been with your partner for this is cute?
Speaker 4: Like a few months now, Like you've been.
Speaker 1: With us longer than you've been with your partner.
Speaker 4: I know, right, thirty six months or something like that.
Speaker 3: That's very true, and we better let you get to
Speaker 3: the circus.
Speaker 4: Hailey, Yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 3: Pleasure. Make sure you hit up our price keeper Jenna
Speaker 3: on our Instagram. A couple of mitches and you're going
Speaker 3: to claim your prize.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I love that so much. Also met
Speaker 4: by the way, Jerry from a few episodes ago, I
Speaker 4: did hear about the Fortnight chat? We please Fortnite one day?
Speaker 1: Yes, let's play Fortnite because.
Speaker 4: I have my Fortnite character tattooed on my leg.
Speaker 1: Get wow, who is it? Who is it?
Speaker 4: It's joy? Have you seen Joy.
Speaker 1: Oh, Joy is in like the film Joy with Jennifer Lawrence.
Speaker 4: No, okay, you'll have to google.
Speaker 1: Oh Gorge. Oh oh, I play as the Ariana Grande
Speaker 1: from when they did a collaboration. Yeah, very cute. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the pink pootail. Wait, message me. Do you have me
Speaker 1: on Instagram?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 4: My god, yes I do.
Speaker 1: DM me, and we'll add our game of tags and
Speaker 1: we'll play. I've gotten really good at the moment.
Speaker 4: I love that so much, all of them.
Speaker 3: Let's play the girl things Game of girls all right.
Speaker 3: I love how we went.
Speaker 1: From seedless grapes to for that.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: DM as keep you Jenna please.
Speaker 4: Okay, thank you, love you.
Speaker 1: What a sweetheart she is, everybody she found and co
Speaker 1: in the car very sweet. If you want to get
Speaker 1: in touch with this, you can dms on a couple
Speaker 1: of images, or you can send us a text.
Speaker 3: On this number.
Speaker 5: To nine for a two zero two nine.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 3: If you've got to need the dismay of your own
Speaker 3: anything that pops into your mind, let us know. We'd
Speaker 3: love to chat. Okay, here we go. I promise to
Speaker 3: fill you all in on the gripping saga that is
Speaker 3: unfolding in my neighborhood Facebook group. Yes, it has been ongoing.
Speaker 3: There's different plot twists every step of the fucking way.
Speaker 3: But I promise you you will keep up.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm about to be like let In
Speaker 1: on a on world government secret.
Speaker 3: I know we've been taken to a barker. It does
Speaker 3: feel like that for me too. I'm not gonna lie,
Speaker 3: but it's not quite that deep.
Speaker 1: Okay, So we've been sat down. There's a PowerPoint presentation
Speaker 1: of this I love so much.
Speaker 3: Obviously people listening won't be able to follow along with
Speaker 3: the PowerPoint, but I have got a PowerPoint on my
Speaker 3: television right now.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, well, so fuck I'm excited.
Speaker 3: So not far from my house, there's one of those
Speaker 3: like shitty little parks that isn't really a park, you
Speaker 3: know those tiny parks that's this kind of filling up space.
Speaker 3: It's just got a bit of grass and a park bench.
Speaker 1: Green space.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's all it is. It's not play equipment or anything.
Speaker 3: It's one of these shitty little parks.
Speaker 1: Yes, I know what you mean.
Speaker 3: So there's one of those not far from my house.
Speaker 3: It's on the way when I'm walking to bar classes
Speaker 3: and every time I walk past this park, there's a
Speaker 3: bunny rabbit.
Speaker 1: Oh is that the rabbit? Yeah, that's the rabbit. That's
Speaker 1: a good shot.
Speaker 3: And so I never really questioned why the fuck there
Speaker 3: is a random rabbit in the middle of some concrete jungle, Like,
Speaker 3: I don't know. I'm just a farm kid. I'm like, whatever,
Speaker 3: there's a rabbit. But now that I think about it,
Speaker 3: it is a bit odd, and people suspect it might
Speaker 3: have been an abandoned pair because it's so friendly and
Speaker 3: he's very cute.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's a good size too.
Speaker 3: And so someone posted in the Facebook group saying rabbit
Speaker 3: found in the park. Anyone missing a rabbit, and everyone
Speaker 3: in the comments were very quick to clarify, No, that's Peter.
Speaker 3: He lives there.
Speaker 1: Oh, he's just.
Speaker 3: Like a community pet. Everyone calls him Peter.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Peter rabbit. That's what Mary kag says. This rabbit
Speaker 1: is a local and has been around for years. He
Speaker 1: used to have a friend, but seems to be alone. Now.
Speaker 3: Oh I didn't know that part. Yeah, look at the comments.
Speaker 1: He's been there for at least three years. Used to
Speaker 1: come say, hyduring.
Speaker 3: Lot, so cute. He just appeared one day in COVID apparently.
Speaker 1: Wow, I feel like you was dumped by like a.
Speaker 3: I think that's likely, yes, But anyway, I've obviously seen
Speaker 3: the rabbit. I'm familiar with the rabbit, but I didn't
Speaker 3: realize it was such a wholesome scenario. Everyone's embraced the rabbit.
Speaker 3: It's a community pet. His name's Peter. That's so cute.
Speaker 3: People were posting photos of their dogs playing with Peter.
Speaker 3: It was so gorgeous, and.
Speaker 1: People have seemed to be able to get close to Peter.
Speaker 1: You're right, he Oh.
Speaker 3: He's so friendly. He's very cute. Okay, And now that
Speaker 3: I know that he has a name, I've started because
Speaker 3: I can take a shortcut and not go through that
Speaker 3: park to come home, but I've started going out of
Speaker 3: my way to just be like, oh, Peter, Peter. It's
Speaker 3: really really cute. And so this is where the drama
Speaker 3: starts to unfold.
Speaker 1: Right, I'm going to say, I hope Peter isn't in
Speaker 1: a rabbit stew.
Speaker 3: One day, someone posted a photo of two rabbits and
Speaker 3: they said, Peter has a friend. Wow, all of a sudden,
Speaker 3: another rabbit just appeared.
Speaker 1: Fucking like rabbits. I hope Peter's getting some rabbit pulls.
Speaker 3: Well, this is where the controversy comes into it. Oh no,
Speaker 3: because now there are calls to have Peter exterminated because
Speaker 3: they don't want the pesky rabbits in the neighborhood. Look
Speaker 3: at all these comments. I loved him at first, but
Speaker 3: ultimately he's a huge problem. Peter and his friends need
Speaker 3: to be destroyed for the sake of local fauna. He
Speaker 3: isn't our friend.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Very controversial. There was a couple of days there where
Speaker 3: I was like, oh my god, they're going to kill
Speaker 3: Peter the rabbit because they don't want him knock up
Speaker 3: his girlfriend. They can't kill Peter. What am I gonna do?
Speaker 3: I've got to put a stop to this. Somehow, not
Speaker 3: a problem as it turns out, because this was posted
Speaker 3: in the group Sad News about the Rabbit's near friend
Speaker 3: saw them on the side of the street this morning,
Speaker 3: hit by a car.
Speaker 1: Oh but how do they know that wasn't Peter, that
Speaker 1: was the friend, Because.
Speaker 3: We all know Peter's demeanor well enough. We could tell
Speaker 3: that Peter was alive and well. But there was a
Speaker 3: smear rabbit on the road. So Peter's mate that was
Speaker 3: very short lived, that Sarga.
Speaker 1: That was a situation ship for Peter. It was then
Speaker 1: and he his friend was killed. God I didn't witness.
Speaker 3: It, so not a problem as it turns out. And
Speaker 3: also I think they knew it wasn't Peter because he's
Speaker 3: been there for three years. He's smart enough to know
Speaker 3: not to run on the road. Where is his new
Speaker 3: little slam piece? Obviously stupid got hit by a car.
Speaker 1: He's got streets smart.
Speaker 3: So Peter's now were widow. That's a bit sad, isn't it?
Speaker 1: And Peter is still there? Well?
Speaker 3: Oh no, please. I have a feeling that because Peter
Speaker 3: might have been overcome with grief, that he might have
Speaker 3: put himself in harm's way because I was walking home
Speaker 3: from bar class on a Wednesday and he was there
Speaker 3: Wednesday afternoon.
Speaker 1: You saw him.
Speaker 3: And I was like, Peter, how are you sorry about
Speaker 3: the loss? Very nice? And then this was posted the
Speaker 3: next day. Any truth in the rumor that Peter was
Speaker 3: killed by a dog this week?
Speaker 1: Oh my god?
Speaker 3: And I was like, they're fucking better not be any
Speaker 3: truth to that.
Speaker 4: Room, please say it's just a And.
Speaker 3: I really wanted it to be a rumor. But then
Speaker 3: when I went to bar class on Friday, he wasn't there.
Speaker 3: And I was so affected by this that I even
Speaker 3: posted in the group and I was like, do we
Speaker 3: have eyewitnesses? Can anyone actually attest to it? And so
Speaker 3: it was all this rumored speculation at this point. But
Speaker 3: then this post and Susie comes in and says, my
Speaker 3: dog found Peter's body.
Speaker 1: No, now, oh, I don't have gloves or a spade
Speaker 1: to bury him. Can anyone help? Rest in peace? Update?
Speaker 1: I took him to Southern Cross at lunchtime. He wasn't microchipped,
Speaker 1: so they said they knew him and would cremate him
Speaker 1: free of charge.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Ultimately unable to have the ashes, but feel better knowing
Speaker 1: he's out of the bushes on his way to bunny Heaven.
Speaker 3: And obviously people in the group are now outraged, being like,
Speaker 3: who's fucking irresponsible? Dog just mauled this beautiful bunny to death.
Speaker 1: This local icon.
Speaker 3: I agree, And all of this unfolded in the space
Speaker 3: of two weeks. I didn't even know he had a name,
Speaker 3: and all of a sudden, I'm so attached and I'm
Speaker 3: crying because he's dead.
Speaker 1: No, first of all, you're mourning the loss of his wife.
Speaker 1: The men you're mourning the loss of him, the lady saying,
Speaker 1: my dogs found Peter's body in the reeds this morning.
Speaker 3: It did smell in that park when I walked through,
Speaker 3: it did smell, and I was like, surely when the
Speaker 3: dog attacked it, they didn't just leave it there.
Speaker 1: That sounds suspicious. Did I feel like her dogs do it?
Speaker 3: I've got no idea.
Speaker 1: She feels guilty. Oh no, time, man, there's a memorial.
Speaker 1: I just yeah, oh god, it's like it's like a vigil.
Speaker 3: I just flicked the slide show. We were so affected
Speaker 3: by this that a few of my friends that live
Speaker 3: in the area we made a shrine.
Speaker 1: Did you do this?
Speaker 3: Yeah? We were actually really sad about this and we
Speaker 3: needed to grieve, and so we made the memorial. And
Speaker 3: then I decided to stir some shit in the Facebook group.
Speaker 3: You know my fake account Bernice of course, Yeah, So
Speaker 3: I use her account to post in the Facebook group.
Speaker 3: And we had tea light candles in the garden where
Speaker 3: we had our little shrine for Peter, and I posted
Speaker 3: in there as Bernan's been like, there is a total
Speaker 3: fire band who's lighting candles.
Speaker 1: Very nice to see tribute to our bunny friend. But
Speaker 1: please be careful. No way should anyone be fight, should
Speaker 1: be lighting candles in a total fireband. I hope more
Speaker 1: people add to the shrine.
Speaker 3: And then we were going to leave some carrots. We
Speaker 3: were going to start a movement carrots out for Peter.
Speaker 3: But you know what, we came back the next staying.
Speaker 3: People were now adding to the shrine. Someone bought those
Speaker 3: little battery operated tea light candles so that we didn't
Speaker 3: have the fire nice.
Speaker 1: So on Easter, Bunny stop here did you buy that?
Speaker 3: That was actually already there?
Speaker 1: Wow?
Speaker 3: And so it was a really tricky grief process. And
Speaker 3: we had the memorial in his honor beautiful, and I
Speaker 3: also prepared an obituary for it. Would you like to
Speaker 3: see it? I'd love to see And I collated all
Speaker 3: the photos and videos that people had posted in our Facebook.
Speaker 1: Mitchell to Peter, Oh, mitchelltten all this up song.
Speaker 3: This is so emotional, miss Peter.
Speaker 1: Oh, this is heartbreaking. Oh this is so sad. He's
Speaker 1: having so much fun.
Speaker 3: I'm going to post this in our Facebook.
Speaker 1: Green Ultimately that's what killed him. However, can hear? Oh God,
Speaker 1: that pit bull looks like it came back.
Speaker 3: It could have been that pitopule.
Speaker 1: Surely he died doing what he loved, encroaching on dogs.
Speaker 3: That's what I've written in the in the obituary.
Speaker 1: Gone but never forgotten, Valet Peter.
Speaker 3: That's a beautiful photo. I'm not joking when I made that.
Speaker 3: I actually did cry.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: It's been a whole ordeal, and frankly, I don't actually
Speaker 3: have closure yet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I want justice for Peter exactly.
Speaker 3: The fact that the murderer just left his body there,
Speaker 3: no one cleaned up after him, and also the fact
Speaker 3: that this dog is capable of that. But Peter's been
Speaker 3: there for years playing with dogs, and then all of
Speaker 3: a sudden, this savage fucking mutt comes along and just
Speaker 3: rips him to shreaded.
Speaker 1: All right, So what's where are we at now? Is there?
Speaker 1: Are they going to put the cremation that his remains
Speaker 1: in the park.
Speaker 3: Apparently the lady that took him to the vet to
Speaker 3: have him created didn't take the ashes, as if.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't what.
Speaker 3: I thought the same thing, honestly, and so obviously I
Speaker 3: don't have closure because I don't know what happened, and
Speaker 3: I want to know what happened. I need to know
Speaker 3: who's behind me, of course, and so we crossed now
Speaker 3: to our raving reporter, Oscar, who is on the scene
Speaker 3: of the crime.
Speaker 1: Investigative journalism.
Speaker 3: Oscar, it's over to you.
Speaker 2: Hello, a couple of mitches. Jenna, my darlings. It is
Speaker 2: our roving reporter Chulkin, and I'm here on location at
Speaker 2: the homicide of Peter the Rabbit. And not only is
Speaker 2: it green, but it is devastating because as why I speak,
Speaker 2: I'm standing in front of the memorial tribute for Peter Rabbit,
Speaker 2: which includes a ceramic bunny.
Speaker 3: Oh, someone put a statue statue. It's so cute. I'm
Speaker 3: pretty sure his little water bowl is still there too.
Speaker 2: I can't find the water bowl, but let's just agree
Speaker 2: that it is around here somewha.
Speaker 3: Now, if anyone walks past, Oscar, I need you to
Speaker 3: interrogate them and find out as much as you can.
Speaker 3: In the meantime, we would like you to on behalf
Speaker 3: of Mitch Jenner and I to lay a wreath.
Speaker 1: Please do you?
Speaker 2: Of course? I would like to say I lay this
Speaker 2: reef in honor of Peter Rabbit from is it just me? Mitch?
Speaker 2: Mitch Jenner and roving reporter talking.
Speaker 1: Of course he would have loved us.
Speaker 6: This is for you, Peter.
Speaker 1: Let's have a moment of silence for Peter.
Speaker 2: All right, pe Peter, can we have a moment of silence?
Speaker 2: Thank you?
Speaker 3: Thank you everyone, thanks, thank you, appreciate that.
Speaker 1: Right, all right, Oscar, we need to speak to the
Speaker 1: people of the suburbs. Is there anyone there, because the
Speaker 1: only way we're going to try and attempt to solve
Speaker 1: this is to speak to the people that are there.
Speaker 1: All right.
Speaker 2: I'll keep an eye out because there's people walking on
Speaker 2: the other side.
Speaker 3: I'll yell out to them.
Speaker 2: All right, hang on, excuse mate, who killed Peter? Yeah
Speaker 2: you no, we ran okay, never mind, run over to them.
Speaker 2: Excuse me, I'm chasing them now.
Speaker 3: Excuse me.
Speaker 1: You don't want to harass the locals. They're all morning
Speaker 1: and grieving.
Speaker 2: No, all, no, that's true. I'm not current affair.
Speaker 3: Well you are today. I need answers. I need justice
Speaker 3: for Peter.
Speaker 2: Yes, I am literally in the direct path of someone coming.
Speaker 3: Here we go, We're on, here we go.
Speaker 1: Get him.
Speaker 2: Hi, Hi, I'm just recording something really quick for a podcast.
Speaker 2: Do you know who killed Peter?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 7: I think it was Eric. He was in the library
Speaker 7: and he found out that Peter had been something through.
Speaker 7: He's very rare, incredibly valuable fourteenth century illustrated manuscript. Needless
Speaker 7: to say, it was an invaluable manuscript worth like multiple millions.
Speaker 3: I think he's playing. I don't think you're taking this oscar?
Speaker 1: What is going on?
Speaker 3: Is he talking about it?
Speaker 1: Different Peter?
Speaker 7: Bizarre thing to do, but anyway he did.
Speaker 3: So Peter used it.
Speaker 7: And to compound his crime, he is terrible. He was
Speaker 7: reading it on the toilet, the toilet and discovered they're
Speaker 7: out of loop paper. So this invaluable manuscript he just
Speaker 7: reefing pages out of.
Speaker 1: It and uses the wiper ass.
Speaker 3: Anyway, that's happy to die.
Speaker 7: I understand.
Speaker 1: Just ra you're a reporter, lead him into what you want.
Speaker 1: I hope I've answered the question.
Speaker 2: Guys, I don't know if you could hear that. That
Speaker 2: was the best answer I've ever been diveited in my life.
Speaker 2: What's what was your name?
Speaker 1: Sorry, my name is Tug Dumbley.
Speaker 2: His name is Target Dumbley.
Speaker 1: Does Tug know that that Peter's a rabbit?
Speaker 2: Tug? Do you know that Peter's a rabbit? Oh?
Speaker 1: Okay, Oh Peter Rabbit from this Yes, Peter, Peter, that
Speaker 1: was mold in the park? Mate, I do I do
Speaker 1: actually know?
Speaker 7: I know that Peter. I did know that Peter sadly
Speaker 7: now deceased.
Speaker 2: Oh here we go. Well, no, the thing is I've
Speaker 2: been sent down here to investigate as in who got Peter,
Speaker 2: and the general consensus is that it was a dog.
Speaker 2: Now do you think there are any suspects in the area.
Speaker 2: I don't think it was your dog because your dog
Speaker 2: is about the same size as Peter.
Speaker 1: Reckon, Peter, what does the dog look like?
Speaker 2: So? Do I have permission to show your dog on? Yep, yep, Hi, darling.
Speaker 2: So this is boo boo. What have you got to
Speaker 2: say about the death?
Speaker 3: Boo? Looks small, but Marty, that's what you know.
Speaker 2: What do you know? Boo?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: I agree, I agree, Boo, I agree, Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: It was devastated. She didn't meet Peter rabbits she did well,
Speaker 1: she did, yeah.
Speaker 8: And she was like, I don't want to get the
Speaker 8: habit and then he completely unperturbed and in fact hopped
Speaker 8: towards her, and she was completely baffled and puzzled. From
Speaker 8: a moment strain of the question her nose and then
Speaker 8: Peter just gorgeously naiven innocent.
Speaker 3: Tuget's been waiting for this moment.
Speaker 6: I choose to have happy thoughts towards Peter.
Speaker 2: No, well that's that's very true, Tug, And you and
Speaker 2: Boo have given me really good insight. Thank you, Tug,
Speaker 2: Tug Tug.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well what I've taken from that? Can I just
Speaker 3: say I'm a bit sus on Tug's dog.
Speaker 1: I think Boo was confessing to be honest.
Speaker 3: Yes, Boo is fully capable of murder.
Speaker 2: Silence says everything.
Speaker 3: Also was tugged with acting like he didn't know who
Speaker 3: Peter was talking about it if from Peter, I trying
Speaker 3: to throw you off your guilty.
Speaker 1: Tug Dudley is the killer of Peter the Rabbit. Wow, Oscar.
Speaker 1: I think this is one of your best reporting duties. Yeh,
Speaker 1: the best you have soul the crime of a beloved
Speaker 1: local pet Oscar. You can sleep easy know would be
Speaker 1: so proud. Tug Dougley the killer.
Speaker 3: I think that Boo deserves the death penalty. Don't you
Speaker 3: pitch up to the Moscar off that bitch, Go get Boo, Oscar,
Speaker 3: bring back his skin.
Speaker 1: Isn't just me.
Speaker 3: You can follow the show online, just search a couple
Speaker 3: of mitches.
Speaker 1: If you don't, you're a tickhead.
Speaker 3: All right, the moment you have all been waiting for,
Speaker 3: as if that wasn't the moment they were waiting for
Speaker 3: Peter Investigation.
Speaker 1: No, well, the Peter investigation has changed my life. And
Speaker 1: I thought, who feels stressed? You feel stressed, Jenn, I
Speaker 1: feel stressed me to you're stressed.
Speaker 3: I don't have much closure, but anyway, why don't we
Speaker 3: all I've got to relieve tension.
Speaker 1: I was going to say, you might need to take
Speaker 1: some stress off, lie down, dim the lights, and maybe
Speaker 1: if you're at home listening, if you're in the car,
Speaker 1: I urge you to now take a moment to treat
Speaker 1: yourself and potentially touch yourself. This is the first time
Speaker 1: on the show I've ever endoed mitcha shake. Now i've
Speaker 1: ever endorsed group masturbation, but I feel we all should
Speaker 1: because incomes my VA headset didn't did it?
Speaker 3: Okay? And so this was just something that you mentioned
Speaker 3: at random, that you can watch porn on a VR headset.
Speaker 1: Correct. I did not buy this with the intention of
Speaker 1: watching porn, but I did buy it, and then I
Speaker 1: realized that you could watch porn.
Speaker 3: It is another one of your random impulse buys that
Speaker 3: you don't really stick. Oh hang on, oscars back, Chicken,
Speaker 3: it is walked in. Have a seat. We're about to
Speaker 3: watch porn.
Speaker 1: Oh good, this is the perfect time. I'm so hot.
Speaker 3: God, he sit right under the airc on. You'll be right.
Speaker 1: I've got my V headset. It's fun for games. You
Speaker 1: can play things on it, but you can also watch porn.
Speaker 1: The issue is when I first downloaded or got the
Speaker 1: V headset, the only porn available was heterosexual porn. I've
Speaker 1: done research. You can now get straight porn. So I'm
Speaker 1: gonna put it on. I'm going to set a porn
Speaker 1: gay porn porn headset on. It's now streaming to the TV.
Speaker 1: You should all be able to watch.
Speaker 3: Jenna's never watched gay porn, so I reckon.
Speaker 2: We're going to get hurt of Oh my god, Jenny,
Speaker 2: you're going to have the best time ever.
Speaker 1: All right, So Jenna's got the phone. Jenna, is it
Speaker 1: streaming to the phone? Okay, here we go. So this
Speaker 1: is what I'm saying. So I'm in a living room.
Speaker 1: What should I Google, Mitchell gay Gable, Khaki, gay Va, pawn,
Speaker 1: gay VR porn three sixty Virtual Reality sex.
Speaker 3: Three sixty pawn.
Speaker 1: Now what I'm and these are the options you can
Speaker 1: choose from.
Speaker 3: So how does they feel that this might be a
Speaker 3: bit overwhelming for me? Like, oh my.
Speaker 1: Gosh, oh goodness me, these are all VR?
Speaker 3: Jenna?
Speaker 1: What about what about this one? Hold on? This looks nice?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that looks fun. This one looks good, Mitchell.
Speaker 1: Why don't we go with this one? I reckon, let's
Speaker 1: get this on, Mitch. Do you want to watch it first?
Speaker 1: Or should I?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: I think Jenna should watch it.
Speaker 2: Should watch it.
Speaker 1: Put the headset on your head, Jen, You just have
Speaker 1: to press the play Jenna. Actually, I'll get it fully set.
Speaker 3: So how do you press play with that? Sorry?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's in my head? I can I'm
Speaker 1: in the AD. I'm in the ad, jesus.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: Okay, the skip AD button is the size of a
Speaker 1: bus for me, and I'm going to just press it
Speaker 1: with my right hand, all right, Jenna, jesus, I'm handing
Speaker 1: over to you.
Speaker 3: Okay, she's got the goggle thumb. What's with these fucking
Speaker 3: Nintendo We nunchucks.
Speaker 1: What is this?
Speaker 3: Is that how you control it?
Speaker 1: That's how you control it.
Speaker 2: We sport.
Speaker 1: No, it's not, it's not.
Speaker 3: That's them bullshit. You should be able to control it
Speaker 3: with your thoughts.
Speaker 2: Well that's what I would.
Speaker 3: My thoughts aren't that powerful. Actually, there you go, Jenna.
Speaker 1: All right, so make it you make it full screen?
Speaker 3: Oh my god, screen god, they've been to pilate if
Speaker 3: they flexable.
Speaker 1: No, no, you press play and then it's the it's
Speaker 1: the full screens. Play Jenna and enjoy the pawn. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, Oh my god, Jenna, look down. Oh Jennison
Speaker 1: knowes hot man, that's her body.
Speaker 3: Someone is currently it's a pov. Someone's sucking Jenner off with.
Speaker 1: Oh, Jenna's putting her thumb in his mouth.
Speaker 3: Jesus, get it out, Jenny, your cat you'll.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Jenna, you are putting your foot in
Speaker 2: this man's mouth while you stroke your big penis.
Speaker 1: How does it feel, Jenne to be in the room
Speaker 1: with it all disturbing? Oh my god, you are being rimmed.
Speaker 3: This is starting to feel be wrong Dan to take
Speaker 3: him off. It's fine, give it to Mitchell.
Speaker 1: I'm going to pick another one for Mitchell. Yeah, pick
Speaker 1: another one. I'll give me a headset, Jenna Mitch.
Speaker 3: I've watched gay porn before, but I've not watched straight straight.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we've got to give him some straighty porn. I
Speaker 2: genuinely so. You do not think you'll.
Speaker 1: Coat gen know why the control is sticky? Jesus, it's
Speaker 1: so much more HD. Yes, fuck, I'm actually might I
Speaker 1: might save this one for later.
Speaker 3: The screen here that we're watching on the TV is
Speaker 3: so low, rare and really lagging.
Speaker 1: No idea, how clear?
Speaker 2: Oh, we're going to get an idea?
Speaker 3: Actually, is it going to be clear for me? I'm
Speaker 3: to take my glass off this It's clear you'ted. Sounds
Speaker 3: like she has just been through some sort of torture.
Speaker 2: It just sounded like a war hero.
Speaker 1: There.
Speaker 2: You're going to see some ship.
Speaker 1: All right, here we go. I'm going to google V porn.
Speaker 3: No, I want straight porn to be clarified, Jill.
Speaker 1: You don't even need to right straight?
Speaker 3: Well, that's just that's just wrong. That's straight is the default,
Speaker 3: isn't it?
Speaker 1: Here we go, right, Chill, I'm gonna do. I'm doing
Speaker 1: the most viewed V porn which Stepsun Crave, step Son's
Speaker 1: cock Step.
Speaker 2: Mum, stepmom, crave step son's.
Speaker 1: Cop Mitchell, Mitchell, listen to me. On the bottom, there
Speaker 1: is a slider which you were just for clarity if you've.
Speaker 3: Got glasses goggles on. Yeah, you're right. This is blairy fuk.
Speaker 3: How do I change it?
Speaker 1: There's a slider on the bottom to the left of
Speaker 1: the right. You slide.
Speaker 3: That's fair.
Speaker 1: Press A and press aim at play and press the
Speaker 1: A button.
Speaker 3: Okay, yep, there you are. I'd like that said. None
Speaker 3: of the actors are related, of course.
Speaker 2: Come on, I've had the best time here with you, sir,
Speaker 2: Mom in a whole new.
Speaker 1: Way down Mitchell, you're in the room. You my god, Mitchell,
Speaker 1: You've got great quads in a thick, meaty bowl.
Speaker 3: This is really weird. I'm looking down and I'm wearing
Speaker 3: very similar gym short.
Speaker 1: This could be me, Mitchell. I hate to say it,
Speaker 1: but that looks a bit like Jane, it does. It
Speaker 1: looks talking to me, right. Let's listen to the dialogue.
Speaker 1: Turn the volumes on the other side to where the
Speaker 1: blurry slider is. You know, the blury slider. It's it's
Speaker 1: on that side. It's up and down. You care of that.
Speaker 1: I don't know, hurry.
Speaker 3: Up and suck me off, lady.
Speaker 1: You know what I've learned from this comparison, Straight people
Speaker 1: have a lot more patience than gay people.
Speaker 3: How do I fast forward?
Speaker 1: Not Mitchell? Don't?
Speaker 3: Oh god, oh my god, she's on Mitchell.
Speaker 1: Why don't you look at the room, like, have a
Speaker 1: look at the it the curtains.
Speaker 3: A nice blind.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh.
Speaker 3: That is so oh my god. Literally, I'm insider.
Speaker 6: I'm insider.
Speaker 1: Is this the first time you ever mounted a woman?
Speaker 3: Don't talk about my step mother like that? So get me.
Speaker 3: Do you want my review?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: Please?
Speaker 1: What's your review of the VA porn?
Speaker 3: It's a bit troopy, but also the quality is shocking,
Speaker 3: So it was not I didn't feel immersed. It's not
Speaker 3: like I actually felt like I was in that world.
Speaker 3: It's very trippy, but it was like when you wear
Speaker 3: those three D glasses at the movies. Yeah, it just
Speaker 3: wasn't quite right.
Speaker 1: You know. The weird thing is that you can have
Speaker 1: devices that connect to your via headset that like can
Speaker 1: like you can put on your penis what yah?
Speaker 2: I have heard of these? Actually they are wild.
Speaker 1: They're nuts. It's like it's like a masturbating machine that
Speaker 1: can connect to the same video, so it can thrust
Speaker 1: into you at the same pace as the video.
Speaker 2: It's meant to be like four day like more immersive.
Speaker 2: So like while you're watching and your stepmom's having a ride.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like.
Speaker 2: It's like gonna like grip and like stroke you up
Speaker 2: and down itself, like as if she is genuine. You
Speaker 2: don't have to touch.
Speaker 1: She's doing it too, but she's your stepmum.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like a mechanical flashlight.
Speaker 3: Sounds like a lot of admin. Just root your step mom.
Speaker 3: Then this VR technology sheep.
Speaker 1: I've always said that, And it's cheaper, so much cheap,
Speaker 1: but what a great takeaway. Root your stepmom. Everyone don't
Speaker 1: buy a five hundred dollars v I headset. Fuck your
Speaker 1: step mam.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, what I kind of want to go?
Speaker 2: I've never done v Yeah.
Speaker 1: I have a gard it on cheery.
Speaker 3: Pick a porn please?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Can you need your nunchucks?
Speaker 1: No, I can use my hands.
Speaker 3: I beat your kid.
Speaker 1: Now, Oscar. Do you want queer or do you want making.
Speaker 2: Me gay porn? I don't want to fuck about with
Speaker 2: my stepmum.
Speaker 1: I found a perfect one for you. The title of
Speaker 1: this one is virtual Real gay a magical place one.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Okay, all right, so I'm hold on, yeah,
Speaker 1: press play a hello, look around, you're in the world.
Speaker 1: It's just say my name.
Speaker 3: I thought I heard that to it.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm adorgeous tiling like I must say?
Speaker 3: Why have you reading the magazine?
Speaker 1: Get to the fucking he's reading an interview with John tivolt.
Speaker 1: I hang up, I'm gonna so describe what you're seeing,
Speaker 1: Oscar So's You're in what looks to be a sauna
Speaker 1: in the outdoors.
Speaker 2: We are in a sauna which looks like it's in
Speaker 2: a cab.
Speaker 3: Where'd you win Agase Sorna literally less than twenty four
Speaker 3: hours ago.
Speaker 2: Probably.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: He has nipple rings.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they're quite lovely.
Speaker 2: Now he's stroked himself a couple of times, but he's
Speaker 2: not really Oh, I can't take it back.
Speaker 1: All right, he's now revealing his peters. He's a tatted man.
Speaker 1: He's got two nipple piercings, and he's put down his
Speaker 1: magazine because you've got his attention.
Speaker 3: That's right now, he's still reading the magazine.
Speaker 1: Well, no, he's on his laptop.
Speaker 2: Rodriguo I'm here. Can you stop looking at the computer place?
Speaker 2: Emails can wait? It's I want to suck.
Speaker 3: You know how you can report videos on TikTok? Is
Speaker 3: it possible to report the podcast? Like this is going
Speaker 3: to be the episode that gets reported?
Speaker 1: Oh he's too Oh oh okay, I've had enough. Gonna
Speaker 1: get rid of this place. Asking now wake get out.
Speaker 3: Now you need to take the goggles off.
Speaker 1: Oh god, take the offscar.
Speaker 3: Take the goggles off. That's all you need to do.
Speaker 1: Wow, well everyone, Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Speaker 2: That was the best Christmas gift I've ever had. Actually,
Speaker 2: do you want to turn Mitchell?
Speaker 1: Oh? He's had many reibated with them on.
Speaker 3: But well, well you've got the nunchucks in your hands.
Speaker 2: So here's your own droving report. Come back to us
Speaker 2: and let us know how I will.
Speaker 1: I might go the full hog and give it a go. Maybe, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm alright. Maybe getting a blowjob while watching porn could
Speaker 1: be fun.
Speaker 2: Oh well, I'm for you next week. A yeah, if.
Speaker 3: You're getting one, you're getting one. You don't need to
Speaker 3: watch porn.
Speaker 2: Well know they've said, like you know, I'll give them
Speaker 2: the paper bag. Well, this is the new paper bag.
Speaker 2: Give that you put it.
Speaker 1: On, Just give him a stake.
Speaker 2: Put it on and watch your step mom whilst some
Speaker 2: ugly console over you. Before I'm actually.
Speaker 1: On board, just say, imagine, imagine him filming that. How
Speaker 1: do they film that? I know it'd be like a
Speaker 1: multiple Jerry wigged camera, like you know when you go
Speaker 1: to the fucking award shows and there's that three sixty
Speaker 1: care Yeah, how would they film that?
Speaker 3: Porn?
Speaker 2: That was actually done add an award show?
Speaker 1: Was it?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 1: There you go. We've all been bonded and we're now
Speaker 1: closer as a teen.
Speaker 2: I agree it actually can I like as new as
Speaker 2: newly appointed fourth wheel. But that was the best ice
Speaker 2: breaking I've ever done.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no fun facts about yourself. Just pop this on
Speaker 3: and watch your step mom.
Speaker 1: I want to hear more about the gay saunas, but
Speaker 1: we can save that for another time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, for another time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, shall we go meet chill and.
Speaker 3: I think that's probably for the best.
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening everyone. You can leave a review
Speaker 1: on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or comment on the show watched.
Speaker 1: Our question this week be have you ever watched VR porn?
Speaker 3: No, that's nat We'll get in trouble? Would you route
Speaker 3: your step mother?
Speaker 1: That's way more broad?
Speaker 3: Sorry, step parent?
Speaker 1: How broad? Sorry? Well done? Step person.
Speaker 3: Guardian yes slash guardians? Yeah?
Speaker 2: How wherever fucked your step guard?
Speaker 1: Oh? Fuck me? All right? Everyone on that note, we
Speaker 1: need to go.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, we'll catch it in the season finale.
Speaker 3: It's next week. Two more episodes for you, Monday and Wednesday.
Speaker 3: Next week.
Speaker 1: We love you to pieces. We'll see you then, everyone.
Speaker 3: Catch you then bye bye bye?
Speaker 1: Is it just me?
Speaker 2: A podcast by a couple of make sure you've hit
Speaker 2: follow on your podcast.
Speaker 3: Welcome to a to D brief. This is our secret
Speaker 3: segment on the end, So so on it's Oscar.
Speaker 1: Now, Oscar, can you actually talk to me about that?
Speaker 1: So you do got do you frequent a sauna?
Speaker 2: Not overly? But there are a couple on Oxford Street
Speaker 2: that I've been too.
Speaker 3: But you know what he does. It's because the bust
Speaker 3: to the beaches sometimes doesn't go overnight, so he'll just
Speaker 3: kill time there. If he says that too late, it
Speaker 3: like sits in the spar till six and goes, oh,
Speaker 3: I'm mate, yeah, Like.
Speaker 2: Ninety five percent of the time I'm literally there, just
Speaker 2: in the spa, I go for a nap, Like, I mean,
Speaker 2: it's like it's way cheaper than a hotel room.
Speaker 1: How much do you pay?
Speaker 2: Like I think the max I've ever paid is thirty
Speaker 2: dollars and or you pay for entry just to get
Speaker 2: in and you can be there.
Speaker 3: That's a bonus the entry.
Speaker 1: Yeah, right right, there is there a bed multiple Wow,
Speaker 1: Like it's all private rooms.
Speaker 2: Like, it's all private rooms. And then obviously because like
Speaker 2: there's sex on premises venues, so there's no there's no rules,
Speaker 2: Like the only rule they have is don't have sex
Speaker 2: in the spa because obviously.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh imagine it. It's sick to your leg here,
Speaker 3: It'll stick.
Speaker 2: To your leg, hair, contaminate all that, you'll get ill.
Speaker 2: But like if you go into one of the sauna saunas,
Speaker 2: there's a high chance something will be going on.
Speaker 1: And when you say sauna, sauna is sort of the
Speaker 1: name of the venue. And there is also a hot
Speaker 1: steamy sauna or both.
Speaker 2: So like the colloquially colloquially ala they're they're called saunas.
Speaker 2: They're I think the correct name for them is a
Speaker 2: bath house house. Yeah, so sauna is just another way
Speaker 2: of saying like the bath house, but they have actual
Speaker 2: steamy saunas in there, like there's a proper in some
Speaker 2: of them. There's a proper wooden sauna, and then there's
Speaker 2: a steam room that is really intense, and they recommend
Speaker 2: do not have sex in the steam rooms. You could
Speaker 2: die right well, yeah, I really yeah, yeah, I've been
Speaker 2: well because if you're the whole point of the steam
Speaker 2: room is to sit there relaxed, and you're not supposed
Speaker 2: to really do any like exercise movement. Try telling the
Speaker 2: gays that so like.
Speaker 1: Heart rate skyrockets, your body temperature goes through the roof.
Speaker 1: I's like if you get have you ever left a
Speaker 1: sauna you're exhausted.
Speaker 3: Yes, honestly, Sean hasn't got air and it feels like
Speaker 3: a fucking steam room after we get a bit hated.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can imagine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, especially well, I have to take my pants off
Speaker 2: most of the time I'm there.
Speaker 1: Yes, you have to.
Speaker 3: It's just polite, isn't it. So you've got a lot
Speaker 3: of questions, don't you. Are you curious?
Speaker 1: I might be.
Speaker 2: I'll take you next weekend. Yeah yeah, yeah, Saturday nights
Speaker 2: are the good other busy nights you've got to go
Speaker 2: at a certain time.
Speaker 1: Sometimes client tell what age group, what what sort of tribe.
Speaker 2: Depends where you go. Like there's some places that are
Speaker 2: frequented more by the muscular jockey types that really only
Speaker 2: want to go for carbon copies of themselves. There's other
Speaker 2: venues that are a little bit more inclusive. There's other
Speaker 2: places that are frequented by twins. I'll let you know
Speaker 2: which one that is. Like, it depends like anyone. Like
Speaker 2: they advertise and they make it out that anyone can go,
Speaker 2: but like you go in and it's very evident that it's.
Speaker 1: Not the case.
Speaker 2: It's not the case. You know, all the time, all
Speaker 2: the time. I've seen some pretty pretty big people in there.
Speaker 3: Oh like Matz are you talking to Yeah?
Speaker 2: No, I've seen a couple of slabs.
Speaker 3: Sam Smith for sure, and that's what No.
Speaker 1: No, I've seen like my ex Smith.
Speaker 2: No, I've seen a couple of slibs in there. I
Speaker 2: always see people I know, and then you just end
Speaker 2: I just end up sitting there. I shit sterr in there.
Speaker 3: Mostly though talking I'm just gonna get more water.
Speaker 2: I shit stirr in there mostly like I sit in
Speaker 2: the spa. I make friends. I remember one time I
Speaker 2: was there. This might be a bit graphic, but one
Speaker 2: time I was there and I was with two friends
Speaker 2: of mine and we're all just yapping, and all of
Speaker 2: a sudden it gets very busy in the spa, and
Speaker 2: because they are my two friends are absolutely gorgeous, and
Speaker 2: so they get swept off by these big honky men,
Speaker 2: and I'm just sitting there with the losers, like the
Speaker 2: ones that no one's really looking at, and which is fine. Again,
Speaker 2: I don't go to these venues to look for some cock.
Speaker 2: It's really not that hard to get cock and suitney,
Speaker 2: that's right. But I'm just sitting there and then all
Speaker 2: of a sudden I felt a hand on my leg
Speaker 2: and I was not into it, And in hindsight, I
Speaker 2: could have very easily and politely just gone sorry, not interested,
Speaker 2: but I panicked and blurted out, what's everyone's star signs?
Speaker 2: So there was all this hot and heavy action in
Speaker 2: the corner of the spar going, and they all just
Speaker 2: kind of looked at me and my friend his cotton socks.
Speaker 2: I love him, so he just like literally stopped what
Speaker 2: he was doing and goes, I'm a Gemini, And then
Speaker 2: that prompted everyone to stop all the mass blow job,
Speaker 2: and they all just answered my question and it turned
Speaker 2: into a thirty minute which is literally sit down. I
Speaker 2: felt like Oprah Winfrey, like sitting as you would like
Speaker 2: sitting there, and we're all talking and discussing, and then
Speaker 2: everyone was like, oh, that was nice. So then they
Speaker 2: all left and went and did their thing in the
Speaker 2: private rooms, and I moved to the other side of
Speaker 2: the spar.
Speaker 1: And it takes a lot to stop some head, especially
Speaker 1: in a gay song.
Speaker 2: Hello, yeah, might you if you.
Speaker 1: Ever been to a sauna?
Speaker 3: No? No, And then like the gay ones are distanding
Speaker 3: with the gay ones, No, would you. I've got a boyfriend,
Speaker 3: so they're probably not.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 3: No, although I might just go there for the spa
Speaker 3: and then everyone's obviously going to be forming a cue yeah,
Speaker 3: and I'm just there, like nine eggs here for the spa.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, you'd be surprised how many couples go into
Speaker 2: these menus.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like, oh no, I probably wouldn't be surprised. That
Speaker 3: doesn't surprise me one bit.
Speaker 2: I can have sex yeah, wow on the bed all yeah.
Speaker 3: And you can have sex no.
Speaker 1: I mean people they just fuck.
Speaker 3: It's like you're going to a car washing me, Like, Hi,
Speaker 3: can I.
Speaker 1: Wash a car gonna mac Is? Do you guys have
Speaker 1: you heard of nuggets?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: But I just more mean you can go and have sex,
Speaker 1: you have to like pay extra, like you have to
Speaker 1: get a room higher.
Speaker 2: No, I mean you can't. There are some venues that
Speaker 2: have higher rooms that you can do whatever you want
Speaker 2: in them, and they're private, or some of them have
Speaker 2: viewing glasses. There's one particular venue I'm not gonna I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna name it because I don't really want to
Speaker 2: run into any of the idiots there. Yes, I just
Speaker 2: I just know they're all going to go now the tickets.
Speaker 3: Once they know I'm there, they won't be able to Well,
Speaker 3: that's right.
Speaker 2: Isn't it. There's one particular venue that has private rooms
Speaker 2: and every single room has a little like you know how,
Speaker 2: you know how and Gray's anatomy. They have those observational things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, similar to that, but like a more like strip
Speaker 1: of wo platform.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and so so maybe you should just dip your
Speaker 3: tays in the water and just go for a view
Speaker 3: met I might go for a little WA's like an
Speaker 3: instruction totally.
Speaker 1: When I got my fucking animal MRI, I had a
Speaker 1: whole fucking bunch of animals, venory students, what the Yeah.
Speaker 1: So it's very much like that.
Speaker 2: But then there's other venues that are very private, very discreete.
Speaker 2: You know, a lot of it's interesting though, because I'm
Speaker 2: talking it's all based around SAX. I've met some of
Speaker 2: the most interesting people in these venues that have that
Speaker 2: come from all walks of life and wow, And I mean,
Speaker 2: you guys know me, I'm very much the kind of
Speaker 2: person that loves a yarn and I love getting to
Speaker 2: know people hadn't noticed.
Speaker 7: Me. I know.
Speaker 2: So I've met like I literally met someone and had
Speaker 2: like a two hour conversation with them in the spa
Speaker 2: just about like literally everything. And then I looked at
Speaker 2: the time and went, no, seven, am, I better go Dale,
Speaker 2: thanks for that. To get me bus, I gotta get Yeah,
Speaker 2: I've got to get me Bus. But no, I mean, like,
Speaker 2: but you've got to be very open minded when you
Speaker 2: go into these things, like it's like it's quite confronting.
Speaker 2: Like I've told a couple of people that have asked
Speaker 2: me about it, I'm like, if you're gonna do it,
Speaker 2: like be I open, Like be open physically as well
Speaker 2: as like you know, be prepared for what you walk
Speaker 2: into because like it's not it's not like it's just
Speaker 2: a general spa with some private rooms. Like it's fucking
Speaker 2: all over the place.
Speaker 1: Wow, literally is there security? Like where are lines on consent?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 2: So they the staff were all trained in first like
Speaker 2: any any any venue I've gone to, there's been a
Speaker 2: couple they they're all trained in like first aid, like
Speaker 2: if they and if they need to step in, they will.
Speaker 2: Like I remember one time I went in and some
Speaker 2: guy followed me from the street and was getting all
Speaker 2: handsy with me, and they like, not that I couldn't
Speaker 2: handle it. I was fine, but they as soon as
Speaker 2: they let me in, they didn't let him in, and
Speaker 2: they sat me down and they were like, are you okay,
Speaker 2: Like that guy was practically following blah blah, and I
Speaker 2: was like, no, I'm fine, just don't let him in.
Speaker 2: So they were all over it. They're very they're very
Speaker 2: on top of everyone's safety in there, like I I've
Speaker 2: heard of I've never seen it, but I've heard a
Speaker 2: lot of stories of people get like things have happened
Speaker 2: and they've been.
Speaker 1: All over it.
Speaker 2: But there's no like it's not like a club. There's
Speaker 2: no outward like outward security.
Speaker 1: So cool.
Speaker 3: I mean you sound like you've been sold on the idea.
Speaker 1: I am sold. I'd go.
Speaker 2: Shall we go?
Speaker 1: Now, my dad?
Speaker 3: Are you busy?
Speaker 1: There's a straight My dad goes to the straight version.
Speaker 1: He always goes to the sauna and with his dad.
Speaker 1: He and his dad go once a month.
Speaker 2: Hold up these kind No, not the well.
Speaker 3: He just goes to a sauna.
Speaker 1: It's called a boys club men's club. Sorry, gentleman, I
Speaker 1: was going to say, they all it's on it's on
Speaker 1: George Street. People think it's bad street.
Speaker 2: Oh, yes, I know the one who's talking.
Speaker 1: It's like an actual gentleman.
Speaker 2: No, yeah, I know the one who's talking.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's for the straight man. And they just all
Speaker 1: talk about chess and poker and pushing. How much is
Speaker 1: there a discusts moving pawns and kings and queens.
Speaker 3: And yeah, moving pawn it's like those goggles.
Speaker 1: I get it. That was revolting, and I'm sorry that
Speaker 1: I brought that to the show today.
Speaker 3: No, I no, I thank you for apologizing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like I needed.
Speaker 2: I don't know why you're apologizing. That was the funniest
Speaker 2: thing I've ever seen.
Speaker 1: It was a lot that was get a wrecked.
Speaker 3: There's so much nice it was overwhelming, she waves, stimulating.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree, but also because we're all like, we're
Speaker 2: all friends. Like, imagine getting a wrecked in front of
Speaker 2: your friends. I just I couldn't possibly.
Speaker 3: I get a wrect amand you all the time I do.
Speaker 2: Have that effect. You should say, Sean, my good poor bustard.
Speaker 2: Why do you think he won't return my calls?
Speaker 1: We all went to Sean's birthday last week.
Speaker 2: That was cute, that was fun. I was very late.
Speaker 3: It didn't go unnoticed that you left without saying good
Speaker 3: bar to Sean by the way.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it hit me in the car. I
Speaker 1: felt so bad.
Speaker 3: He noticed, was beside himself. There's a struck against your name.
Speaker 1: Yes, I brought him two drinks, tell him to grow up.
Speaker 3: Whereas Jenna, Jenna, I was surprisingly stayed later than I
Speaker 3: would have expected.
Speaker 2: That true.
Speaker 3: She A turned up and b was there for eight
Speaker 3: years after you left.
Speaker 1: I was wow, Jenna, Yes, okay, someone's phone.
Speaker 2: Y oh that's mine?
Speaker 3: He is it for a month?
Speaker 1: So sorry? Who is it?
Speaker 3: I was, Sean, Oh, it's my beloved. What did you
Speaker 3: want I'll call him. Are you hi, you're on the podcast.
Speaker 3: What do you want, hi, Sean. They're saying him downstairs,
Speaker 3: just seeing what was happening. But yeah, we're up here,
Speaker 3: up here.
Speaker 1: Come on, we're about to wrap up, Sean.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we'll kill time. Make it snappy because we'll chat
Speaker 3: to here.
Speaker 1: Don't walk past Peter's graves.
Speaker 3: No time to mourn, Shaw, Sean, No time to mourn, Shawn, Oh,
Speaker 3: none at all. We're just watching pawn Shawn.
Speaker 1: Oh you just missed oscars on the lawn shown, Seawn.
Speaker 2: Don't be don't be in the forest too long. You'll
Speaker 2: see a pawn shore of course.
Speaker 1: Will. Yeah, yeah, with all due respect, that story about
Speaker 1: your day was really nice, but it made me fucking
Speaker 1: yourn Sean.
Speaker 3: That's me, for fuck sake.
Speaker 2: Hurry up.
Speaker 1: The poor thing has just finished work. Would you guys
Speaker 1: have sex on a Friday night after work?
Speaker 2: I answered that way too quickly.
Speaker 3: It's not out of the realm, but it's like not
Speaker 3: our usual. Will go to slot.
Speaker 1: You're a Saturday morning.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I will admit morning sexes kind of nice.
Speaker 1: I prefer morning sex.
Speaker 2: Yeah, me too, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Because your tops of course you do.
Speaker 2: True, I do forget how much power now.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad you hear now. I want to hear
Speaker 1: every episode, speaking of to.
Speaker 2: My gosh, speaking of top partial.
Speaker 3: Baby, Come sitting next to me.
Speaker 1: Okay, so no, Sean, come have a microphone.
Speaker 3: I'll just share mine, all right.
Speaker 1: Oh, Sean, I have to say, I am so sorry
Speaker 1: for abandoning your birthday party and not saying goodbye. Mitch
Speaker 1: told me how much sleep you've lost over it?
Speaker 3: Oh the tears, Well, yeah you're telling that.
Speaker 6: Yeah, lots of crying.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3: No, it wasn't sad and as it was more rage.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, I I apologized. I apologize.
Speaker 3: He's so polite. I'm trying to get him riled up
Speaker 3: over here.
Speaker 6: And you're like, no, okay, no it did on my birthday,
Speaker 6: and I won't be forgiving you.
Speaker 1: Well, let's be honest. Your birthday was seven weeks before
Speaker 1: the event, so it didn't ruin your actual birthday. So
Speaker 1: I don't feel bad.
Speaker 6: Now, Joseph side, thanks for being there. That was lovely.
Speaker 6: Oh that's had a great time.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you're right.
Speaker 6: You eventually rocked up.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, sorry, I had a prior commitment of a
Speaker 2: dig and having to sing for fucking bust people people. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it was. I had to do the Christmas party for
Speaker 2: the bus Stepo and that was wild.
Speaker 6: Wow.
Speaker 3: By the time Oscar rocked up, it was like one
Speaker 3: thirty am, and I were like, oh god, we have
Speaker 3: to wait for Oscar becuz he's on his way. But
Speaker 3: we had so fucking diant.
Speaker 2: Itau was earlier than that. I got there around about midnight.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, no, you were there for a while.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know what time we left, to be honest, Well, you.
Speaker 2: Guys left before me, and then I looked at the
Speaker 2: time went bust the same girl for another two hours,
Speaker 2: so you can imagine where I.
Speaker 1: Went after want of course, no doubt when no, you
Speaker 1: just missed it. We were watching pawn Sean, Yeah, we
Speaker 1: actually were. We're watching Do you want to have it?
Speaker 1: Do you want to have a little spot of loved it?
Speaker 3: You had been so drawn Sean?
Speaker 2: Actually, can we do we have time?
Speaker 3: Can we put really really die? But we can do
Speaker 3: it in real life?
Speaker 1: We'll do it. Sorry, feel no clarify, Does that mean
Speaker 1: you're gonna have anal sex? So you're gonna watch VR
Speaker 1: and you say we'll do it in real life. Are
Speaker 1: you fucking or you're gonna We're gonna do it U
Speaker 1: when the show ends? Why do I have to.
Speaker 3: Choose one of the other. True?
Speaker 1: All right, we'll be sleeping over I'll film it. Wait
Speaker 1: now that I'm single, would you have you guys ever
Speaker 1: thought about inviting me into the bedroom?
Speaker 3: No, Sean, do you think about it right now and
Speaker 3: tell me what you think.
Speaker 1: As I'm sitting here cross legged. I've had my benefier today,
Speaker 1: so I'll be fine.
Speaker 6: I'll see what I'm cross legged as well. And you
Speaker 6: know we all have our reason.
Speaker 2: Correct, there's no need because if there are, if they
Speaker 2: do bring a third person, it's always met.
Speaker 1: True. I've never been an option. I've been out of
Speaker 1: reach now, but now I'm available with you.
Speaker 2: Well, you can be the fourth wheel in this instance.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I could be a four. Yeah, I could kind
Speaker 1: of just you know, watch no, but I call it
Speaker 1: added with like a spank or something. I doesn't have
Speaker 1: to touch. I could just like hit or kiss or span.
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, if I'm inviting two tops in
Speaker 3: the room and I'm gonna be put on the fucking spirit,
Speaker 3: I should ever say in the.
Speaker 1: Imagine three tops in the room, with you, Mitchell, Oh god, have.
Speaker 3: You got that va alright.
Speaker 1: Let's go.
Speaker 3: We hope this podcast made you feel at least two
Speaker 3: percent horning out today. That's all. So we do, So
Speaker 3: we do, go.
Speaker 1: On to so we do Seohn, you look great. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you have a God.
Speaker 6: I was just going to say, it's all the fake tan.
Speaker 6: I'm actually wretched underneath it.
Speaker 1: I do not look good.
Speaker 2: I'm pale, I'm I'm turned on either way.
Speaker 1: But all right, we should go super our final episodes
Speaker 1: of the year next week.
Speaker 3: One week to go. When he gets.
Speaker 1: Yeah is It just Me?
Speaker 2: Podcast by a couple of mitches.
Speaker 1: Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.