1 00:00:00,560 --> 00:00:03,520 Speaker 1: My name's Nan. I'm a storyteller on Fine and Tell. 2 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:07,800 Speaker 1: I'm Australian born Korean and I'm currently living on Gadigle Country. 3 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:11,720 Speaker 1: I'd like to recognize the traditional custodians of this continent 4 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:14,680 Speaker 1: whose land was stolen nearly two hundred and fifty years ago, 5 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:19,120 Speaker 1: in particular the Camaragle and Warneri people, whose Land Is 6 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:22,200 Speaker 1: podcast was recorded on and we extended our respect to 7 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:26,279 Speaker 1: all Aboriginal and torrest Right islander peoples. The rich storytelling 8 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:28,440 Speaker 1: history of the world's oldest living culture is what we 9 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:31,080 Speaker 1: pay homage to when we tell stories on Fine and Tell. 10 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:39,120 Speaker 2: Hello, I'm Jimilla Risby and this is Find and Tell, 11 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 2: the search for the next generation of Australian storytellers, and 12 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:48,120 Speaker 2: here we are. We started with hundreds of applications from 13 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:52,720 Speaker 2: wannabe podcasters from all around Australia. We narrowed it down 14 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:56,760 Speaker 2: to just four storytellers who you have gotten to know 15 00:00:57,040 --> 00:00:59,080 Speaker 2: and fall in love with on the show over the 16 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:02,800 Speaker 2: last few weeks, and now now we're down to the 17 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:07,640 Speaker 2: final two, Ben and Mark. All that's standing between them 18 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:11,600 Speaker 2: and being crowned our first ever Find and Tell Champion 19 00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:16,360 Speaker 2: is one last story whoever tells it best will win 20 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:19,960 Speaker 2: the crown and they'll take home best in Class podcasting 21 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,960 Speaker 2: goodies and gear from the team at Rhade Australia and 22 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:26,520 Speaker 2: a range of short courses from the Australian Film, Television 23 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:30,120 Speaker 2: and Radio School, so our winner can continue to find 24 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:34,520 Speaker 2: and tell stories well into their future. Both Ben and 25 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:38,600 Speaker 2: Mark's final theme is lost in translation, and today we're 26 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:43,160 Speaker 2: going to hear from Mark. Since his very first story, 27 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:47,319 Speaker 2: Mark has been willing to be totally vulnerable with me, 28 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 2: with you, our audience. He's shared his experiences as a 29 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,960 Speaker 2: gay man growing up in the Mormon Church and the 30 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:57,880 Speaker 2: everyday challenges faced by people who are plus size. He's 31 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:02,000 Speaker 2: even tickled our nostalgia by bringing up memories of Cosma 32 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:06,440 Speaker 2: DeVito's dramatic exit from Australian idol what feels like one 33 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:11,440 Speaker 2: hundred years ago. Mark has this natural talent for bringing 34 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:15,680 Speaker 2: us the audience into his world. He weaves his humor 35 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 2: and his warmth into everything he does, even when he's 36 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:24,760 Speaker 2: tackling some really serious subjects. So for the very last time, Mark, 37 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 2: welcome back to find and tell Hi. 38 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:30,400 Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, that was a bitter sweet This really 39 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 3: is the last time right, it's. 40 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:34,000 Speaker 2: So exciting to see you again. But yeah, knowing this 41 00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:39,359 Speaker 2: is it, I am so psyched to hear your final story. 42 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:44,320 Speaker 2: Tell me, have you developed your storytelling style over that time? 43 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,080 Speaker 2: Do you feel like you know a bit more about 44 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:47,760 Speaker 2: the kind of storyteller you are? 45 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,080 Speaker 3: Well, you know, I guess it just depends on the 46 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:53,640 Speaker 3: story as well. Some will require a lot of me, 47 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,760 Speaker 3: some won't. I may just be a platform or I 48 00:02:56,800 --> 00:03:00,920 Speaker 3: may just be like a conduit. So I think the 49 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:03,560 Speaker 3: biggest thing that I've learned really is just to be flexible, 50 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:08,600 Speaker 3: to be agile, to take things with grace, and to 51 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:10,680 Speaker 3: problem solve in ways that I never thought i'd have 52 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:13,800 Speaker 3: to problem solve, like even from a logistical perspective sometimes, 53 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:18,600 Speaker 3: particularly with this episode. So yeah, just to be flexible 54 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:19,920 Speaker 3: and love the whole process. 55 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:23,240 Speaker 2: In the meantime, the theme for this final episode is 56 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,720 Speaker 2: lost in translation. When I first told you and Ben 57 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:28,960 Speaker 2: the theme where did your Where did your mind go? 58 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,800 Speaker 2: Did you have a story that came about quickly? Or 59 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:32,799 Speaker 2: did you have to go hunting? 60 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:36,000 Speaker 3: Actually, this was the first time that I was stumped. 61 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,480 Speaker 3: From the very beginning. I think I had I had 62 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:42,160 Speaker 3: stories that I wanted to tell, even going into this 63 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:46,280 Speaker 3: competition that I was able to work into the incredible 64 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 3: themes we've been given before. But this was the first 65 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:51,240 Speaker 3: time I was like, oh my goodness, I don't have 66 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,000 Speaker 3: anything that come immediately to mind, and so I had 67 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 3: to work through that freak out first and then eventually like, 68 00:03:57,160 --> 00:04:01,040 Speaker 3: really back in, have a good solid think to really 69 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:04,880 Speaker 3: just like dig deep and look inwards. And I hope 70 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:06,280 Speaker 3: people enjoy listening to me. 71 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:10,000 Speaker 2: Yep, they definitely will. I know that for sure, So 72 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 2: let's do it. The theme is lost in translation and 73 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:17,040 Speaker 2: Mark this is your fourth and final contribution to Find 74 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:17,400 Speaker 2: and Tell. 75 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:27,800 Speaker 3: So I hate being ghosted. I hate being left in 76 00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:30,440 Speaker 3: the dark. When you're left with gaps of information, you 77 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:33,080 Speaker 3: fill it with your own. Is it because I'm fat? 78 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:35,040 Speaker 3: I do something wrong and I say something wrong? 79 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:35,120 Speaker 2: Go? 80 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:42,560 Speaker 3: I don't I deserve an explanation. Ghosting can sometimes feel 81 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:46,560 Speaker 3: like a stab in the heart. It's so much worse 82 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:49,719 Speaker 3: than regular rejection. It's like a rug has been pulled 83 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:54,520 Speaker 3: out from under your feet, which really fucking sucks. I 84 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 3: remember the very first time I was ghosted. I was 85 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,839 Speaker 3: twenty one and super fresh to the dating scene. Into 86 00:04:59,839 --> 00:05:02,599 Speaker 3: that apps, I matched with this cute Filipino guy in 87 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:05,920 Speaker 3: my area and we hit it off. We spoke day night, 88 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:09,080 Speaker 3: punding over our love for K pop, and I remember 89 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:13,640 Speaker 3: messaging chat tomorrow one evening, but by the next morning 90 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:17,400 Speaker 3: his profile was gone. So why do we keep putting 91 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:21,120 Speaker 3: ourselves out there? Well, I guess we're all looking for 92 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 3: that spark, right, I'm talking Anne Hathaway early two thousands 93 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:30,600 Speaker 3: y two k cheesy rum coom spark. To some, it's 94 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,240 Speaker 3: a kiss that has you kicking your feet up, like 95 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 3: in the Princess Diaries. 96 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,400 Speaker 4: In old films, whenever a girl get seriously kissed, her 97 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:37,160 Speaker 4: foot would just. 98 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:42,919 Speaker 3: Kind of popped, or a sloppy passion the rain like 99 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:46,919 Speaker 3: in the Notebook. To others, it's enemies to lovers, cliche 100 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:50,000 Speaker 3: like and you've got male or friends to lovers in 101 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:51,840 Speaker 3: suddenly thirty, I'm. 102 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:52,920 Speaker 5: Just crying because I'm happy. 103 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 4: I want you to be so so happy. I love you, mad, 104 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 4: You're my best friend. 105 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:09,760 Speaker 3: Cheesy, cheesy, I know, but I want that so bad. 106 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,280 Speaker 3: I want to stroll hand in hand with someone in 107 00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:16,400 Speaker 3: Central Park. I want to spend hours yapping and explaining 108 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:20,000 Speaker 3: and venting. I want that Gilmore Girl's conversation speed where 109 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:24,560 Speaker 3: the connection is undeniable and almost unspoken. It's a little 110 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:26,440 Speaker 3: sad to admit at twenty eight, but I don't think 111 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:29,360 Speaker 3: I've ever felt that spark, at least not in full. 112 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:32,839 Speaker 3: I've come really close, but they would all just eventually 113 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:36,960 Speaker 3: fizzle out. But one aspect of dating in twenty twenty 114 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,599 Speaker 3: four that Renee Zelger and Colin Firth didn't prepare me 115 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 3: for was ghosting and fair Bridget Jones's Diary would have 116 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 3: been a completely different movie. The ending was Bridget blocking 117 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:53,279 Speaker 3: mister Darcy on Tinder. So why do people ghost? And 118 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:56,640 Speaker 3: how do we move on? Sometimes I wish I could 119 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,520 Speaker 3: go back in time, break all the rules and revisit 120 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,880 Speaker 3: some of my almost not to beg but to just 121 00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:06,159 Speaker 3: I don't know, find out why why didn't it work out? 122 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:09,320 Speaker 3: If only I had a platform where I talked to people, 123 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:11,760 Speaker 3: and if only iHeart was the same company that an 124 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:14,880 Speaker 3: old flame now has his own radio show and podcast with, 125 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,440 Speaker 3: I could reach out and ask the questions I've been 126 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:18,400 Speaker 3: wanting to ask. 127 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:22,600 Speaker 6: Oh wait, hang on a minute, Oh god, Oh, I 128 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:26,840 Speaker 6: don't know. I feel bad. I feel guilty. I feel bad, Okay, cool, I. 129 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,840 Speaker 3: Don't feel guilty. No, that wasn't the intention of this 130 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:30,360 Speaker 3: chat at all. 131 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:31,000 Speaker 6: You can grill me. 132 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,640 Speaker 3: I'm an open book if you want to grill me. 133 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 3: He grilled me, absolutely not. Look so that's Mitch true. 134 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:38,840 Speaker 3: He's the night show host on Kiss in Sydney and 135 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:41,640 Speaker 3: we matched on Tinder back in twenty seventeen, and from 136 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:44,720 Speaker 3: the jump I felt a connection. We would chat for 137 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:47,480 Speaker 3: hours and hours and hours, and he got all of 138 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:50,520 Speaker 3: my pop culture references. We were right on the cusp 139 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 3: of that spark, but that soon dropped off. We'll come 140 00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 3: back to him later. It's juicy, I know, I know. 141 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:03,440 Speaker 3: But before we get there, we got to do some work. 142 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:08,200 Speaker 3: We're going to therapy. I have so many questions about 143 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:11,320 Speaker 3: ghosting as a phenomena, and I want to understand why 144 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:14,160 Speaker 3: people do it, or if people feel the same way 145 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:17,840 Speaker 3: I do. In the aftermath, I first reached out to 146 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:20,080 Speaker 3: my mates and ask for their ghost stories. 147 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,720 Speaker 4: I've been ghosting so many times I don't know. 148 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:26,080 Speaker 3: Usually it's not like dates with people, and then I 149 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:29,080 Speaker 3: think that maybe they're a friend of confrontation or don't 150 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 3: want to spend the energy on it. Maybe the same 151 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:34,080 Speaker 3: reason I goost people. The sheer number of friends who 152 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,880 Speaker 3: have been ghosted did not surprise me, But what was 153 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:39,400 Speaker 3: surprising was how many had been the ghoste. 154 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:42,439 Speaker 1: So I have ghosted myself just once. 155 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:43,280 Speaker 4: It wasn't fair. 156 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:45,320 Speaker 1: He didn't deserve it, but he was just a nice 157 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:47,080 Speaker 1: guy and I was a bit young and a bit silly. 158 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,600 Speaker 6: Yeah, I just never messaged again. 159 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,720 Speaker 3: I think most people would agree that ghosting isn't the 160 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:55,760 Speaker 3: most mature way to end things, but I learned that 161 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:59,840 Speaker 3: sometimes ghosting is necessary to keep yourself safe. 162 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:03,120 Speaker 4: On the third day, he invited me to his place. 163 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:07,080 Speaker 4: The apartment creeped me out. Basically, I was not feeling it. 164 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:10,120 Speaker 4: I was really anxious. My intuition was like, get out 165 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:12,760 Speaker 4: of here. He took my phone and wouldn't let me 166 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,440 Speaker 4: book the obar and I had to like pam my 167 00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:18,240 Speaker 4: way out of there. And I managed to get out 168 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:21,360 Speaker 4: of there. And then he sent me a few messages 169 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:25,120 Speaker 4: wanting to meet up again, and I didn't respond. 170 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:33,160 Speaker 3: So is ghosting as black and white, as right or wrong? 171 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:36,800 Speaker 3: Some stats on mind found that most people actually think 172 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:40,880 Speaker 3: ghosting is appropriate in certain situations, and nearly two and 173 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:45,560 Speaker 3: three have ghosted someone else. Almost everyone will experience it 174 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:49,240 Speaker 3: at some stage. I guess people just ghosts and that's 175 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:52,680 Speaker 3: a reality. But why what are the reasons? 176 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,720 Speaker 5: I think you know that I'm about to say this. 177 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:59,000 Speaker 5: There is no single answer and there is no simple 178 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:01,760 Speaker 5: answer as to why people ghost others. 179 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:07,040 Speaker 3: As promised, here is relational psychologist Smoothly there who practically 180 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:10,160 Speaker 3: gave me a free therapy session answering all of my 181 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:14,880 Speaker 3: big ticket questions about ghosting. Smoothly helps people who've been 182 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:18,400 Speaker 3: impacted by relationships and the trauma that can come with 183 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:23,000 Speaker 3: personal displacement. For the Darwin based psych ghosting is so 184 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:25,240 Speaker 3: much more complex than we could ever. 185 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:28,640 Speaker 5: Think, and for so many people who ghost, it is 186 00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:32,880 Speaker 5: about being too overwhelmed to own up and say they 187 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:35,360 Speaker 5: don't want to see the other person again. And I 188 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:38,080 Speaker 5: want to be clear, this is not an excuse. This 189 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:42,520 Speaker 5: is usually the reason they do this. Sometimes it can 190 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:46,120 Speaker 5: be too stressful or too uncomfortable to say no. Some 191 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:50,400 Speaker 5: people ghost others because they're insecure themselves. They might not 192 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:54,520 Speaker 5: be emotionally mature or empathetic, or they might refuse to 193 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:58,640 Speaker 5: take accountability for how their behavior impacts other people. Regardless 194 00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:03,280 Speaker 5: of intent, this kind of behavior is extremely poor communication. 195 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:08,680 Speaker 5: It's hurtful to the other person. Usually, ghosting says more 196 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:11,240 Speaker 5: about the person doing the ghosting than the ghosting. 197 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:16,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, that makes sense. I don't need a therapist to 198 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:19,640 Speaker 3: tell me that when I get ghosted, I automatically blame myself. 199 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:24,079 Speaker 3: And maybe that's why it hurts so much when someone 200 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:26,960 Speaker 3: leaves me with no answers. I'm not to find that 201 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:31,000 Speaker 3: closure on my own. It brings my deepest insecurities to 202 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:34,200 Speaker 3: the surface, and I become my harshest. In our critic 203 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:39,160 Speaker 3: for Smithie, this pattern of thinking is what ghosting really 204 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:40,240 Speaker 3: taps into. 205 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:44,920 Speaker 5: Someone who gets ghosted, if they already struggle with loneliness 206 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:50,280 Speaker 5: or rejection, sensitivity, or self esteem, ghosting can then perpetuate 207 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:54,680 Speaker 5: that thinking, and they might internalize the rejection and they 208 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:57,319 Speaker 5: might be convinced that somehow they miss the mark or 209 00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:01,000 Speaker 5: they're not good enough to date. They might start building 210 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:04,680 Speaker 5: this narrative in their head, built on confirmation bias, that 211 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:07,280 Speaker 5: dating is never going to work out for them, or 212 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:09,679 Speaker 5: that they need to change who they are, they need 213 00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:13,400 Speaker 5: to change their personality in order to be likable. If 214 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:17,720 Speaker 5: somebody tends to have this experience multiple times, and if 215 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:21,640 Speaker 5: they are not encouraged to self reflect and think about 216 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:25,240 Speaker 5: this from a mental health lens, it just drives them 217 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,840 Speaker 5: further down a really negative paths. 218 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:34,319 Speaker 3: Those anxious and irrational thought cycles are hard to predict 219 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:37,440 Speaker 3: and control, and we may not always have someone else 220 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:40,240 Speaker 3: to help us out of them. So then, how do 221 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:43,720 Speaker 3: we change that? How do we not internalize the external 222 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:46,880 Speaker 3: data we've been given? How do we feel empowered to 223 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:50,520 Speaker 3: break these cycles on our own? Look, I think it's 224 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:53,719 Speaker 3: time to face the inevitable. We need to look inwards, 225 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:57,040 Speaker 3: confront the dark stuff, and work our way to the light. 226 00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:01,160 Speaker 3: Except that our feelings may not always be reciprocated, and 227 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,839 Speaker 3: accept that ghosting is unavoidable, whether that be from a 228 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:09,480 Speaker 3: lack of chemistry or a loser with no empathy. So 229 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:13,559 Speaker 3: what now? What should we do when we're ghosted? Scream 230 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:17,679 Speaker 3: into our pillows, close the curtains and blast olivery of Rodrigo, 231 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:21,400 Speaker 3: Cry into a drive through speaker box, Oh just me, 232 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:25,480 Speaker 3: Oh my bad. Smoothie suggests that we focus on what's 233 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:28,880 Speaker 3: in our control. The way that someone acts on Tinder 234 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:30,720 Speaker 3: is not in our control. 235 00:13:31,559 --> 00:13:33,400 Speaker 5: You are going to feel some sort of faith if 236 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:37,160 Speaker 5: you get ghosted. Let's accept that feelings of feelings and 237 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:40,600 Speaker 5: fighting and invalidating your feelings is not going to help. 238 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,360 Speaker 5: What is going to help is understanding why you feel, 239 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:47,440 Speaker 5: how do you feel, and starting to process them. This 240 00:13:47,559 --> 00:13:52,480 Speaker 5: can include things like self reflection, understanding your triggers, understanding 241 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:56,679 Speaker 5: your past experiences how do these shape your current feelings. 242 00:13:57,320 --> 00:14:01,160 Speaker 5: This might involve not immediately believing your just because someone 243 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:04,880 Speaker 5: did not text you back. It's very easy for us 244 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:09,040 Speaker 5: to fall into feeling shame when we perceive ourselves as 245 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:13,800 Speaker 5: not being good enough or being unworthy of being responded to, 246 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:18,960 Speaker 5: being replied to. I would really encourage people to replace 247 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:22,720 Speaker 5: that with what you would tell a friend who got ghosted. 248 00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:28,000 Speaker 5: It sucks. It's really hard, so remember to be self compassionate. 249 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:32,880 Speaker 5: Being self compassionate will not fix the problem, no, but 250 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:36,040 Speaker 5: you know what, it'll give you enough time and space 251 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,480 Speaker 5: to start feeling like yourself again so that you can 252 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:42,840 Speaker 5: then reflect and problem solve and re energize and talk 253 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:43,360 Speaker 5: about it. 254 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:49,880 Speaker 3: I'm a big believer in rejection being redirection. If I'm 255 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:52,240 Speaker 3: going to be a loyal subscriber to faith and that 256 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:55,560 Speaker 3: everything happens for a reason, I must also believe that 257 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 3: some connections aren't meant to be. It's not the end 258 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,680 Speaker 3: of the world, and he it may just not be 259 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:04,240 Speaker 3: that into me This might be hard to hear, but 260 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:08,760 Speaker 3: surviving a ghosting may require some tough self reflection. I've 261 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:12,760 Speaker 3: always struggled with confronting rejection head on. I lose myself 262 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:16,960 Speaker 3: in those inner conversations so easily, but to ground myself 263 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:20,840 Speaker 3: I must push through. Smoothie says that self care is 264 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:23,720 Speaker 3: a vital part of the process, so I asked her, 265 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,760 Speaker 3: how can we take better care of ourselves when we're 266 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,760 Speaker 3: grieving and processing a rejection. 267 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:33,080 Speaker 5: I agree that sometimes it is about having those difficult 268 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:38,000 Speaker 5: conversations or honest conversations with yourself, and self care is 269 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:41,360 Speaker 5: definitely not about massages and candles date They can be great, 270 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:45,800 Speaker 5: but self care has to be sustainable. It is about 271 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:50,920 Speaker 5: putting yourself first, about valuing yourself and making a habit 272 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:51,480 Speaker 5: out of it. 273 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:58,240 Speaker 3: After chatting with Smithie, I took her advice and started 274 00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:01,640 Speaker 3: to self reflect. I paused my sixteen three watch of 275 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:05,720 Speaker 3: The Devil Wares Prada, opened the curtains, fluffed and reshaped 276 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:09,480 Speaker 3: my pillows, and I looked back on my almosts, on 277 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:14,120 Speaker 3: the ghosters and on the fizzlers. Some were short lived, 278 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:17,120 Speaker 3: some a bit longer. I can forgive most of them 279 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:20,160 Speaker 3: and still hurt with the rest. But I can't think 280 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:22,920 Speaker 3: my way through that pain. I have to feel it 281 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:26,640 Speaker 3: and then eventually let it go as I work through 282 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:30,000 Speaker 3: the self deprecation and the confusion to then eventually find 283 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:33,600 Speaker 3: my own approaches to self care. There is one situationship 284 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:37,120 Speaker 3: in particular that keeps making a recurring guest appearance in 285 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:40,160 Speaker 3: the Rolling rom com in my mind. So let's get 286 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,080 Speaker 3: back to Mitch, the radio host that I almost felt 287 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:45,880 Speaker 3: that spark with, the one I've always wanted to look 288 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,640 Speaker 3: in the eye and have a conversation with. 289 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,160 Speaker 6: This will be fun, fun, I'm say. 290 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:56,040 Speaker 3: Okay, So I'll read the script narration that I have 291 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,600 Speaker 3: planned for this and then we'll go straight into a chat. Okay, 292 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:02,320 Speaker 3: I'm so excited. Okay. So, like I said, things with 293 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,439 Speaker 3: Mitch started as most modern love stories do, on Tinder 294 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:08,320 Speaker 3: in twenty seventeen. This was before he was kiss a 295 00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:11,760 Speaker 3: Fem's night show host and before he was voted Australia's 296 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:16,639 Speaker 3: most relatable media personality. Whatever he was though, the cashcock 297 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:20,920 Speaker 3: running errands for Kyle and Jackie. Oh oh god, our 298 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:25,120 Speaker 3: banter was electric. This was the chemistry I'd been waiting for. 299 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:28,840 Speaker 3: We both adored sushi and spent so many late nights 300 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:33,400 Speaker 3: laughing about musical theater. We shared our dreams and aspirations 301 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:36,240 Speaker 3: of living in New York, and we were so hopeful 302 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:39,879 Speaker 3: for our features. This went on for a couple of months, 303 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:42,720 Speaker 3: and we promised to meet, but things just never worked 304 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:47,399 Speaker 3: out and our timing never aligned. Then I started to 305 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:52,200 Speaker 3: feel him pull away. Was that accurate? Is that how 306 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:52,680 Speaker 3: you remember? 307 00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:53,119 Speaker 2: Okay? 308 00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:55,479 Speaker 6: Why am I pining for this relationship that never happened. 309 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:57,960 Speaker 7: I'm moaning the loss of the love that I didn't 310 00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:58,879 Speaker 7: even know existed. 311 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:01,920 Speaker 6: I've got a half erection. I didn't even know it's possible. 312 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,199 Speaker 7: I am in love with you all over again, and 313 00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:06,880 Speaker 7: I do remember it in that way. 314 00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:12,120 Speaker 3: There, it is that mixtruy charm. We just bounced off 315 00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:15,840 Speaker 3: each other so easily. But it was only seven years later, 316 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,240 Speaker 3: on the other side of that fizzle, that I was 317 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:21,280 Speaker 3: comfortable and secure enough to reach out and speak to 318 00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:21,760 Speaker 3: him again. 319 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,159 Speaker 7: I'll be honest, that part of my life was very 320 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,199 Speaker 7: weird at that point. I was like, send me in 321 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,840 Speaker 7: the closet. I was using dating and the apps to 322 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,840 Speaker 7: enter that world. Right. I was just nervous, But I'm 323 00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:35,240 Speaker 7: a nervous person in general. I don't like letting people down. 324 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:38,120 Speaker 3: Like I still had a minute where I was like, Oh, 325 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:40,320 Speaker 3: is it because I'm this or is it because that 326 00:18:40,359 --> 00:18:40,960 Speaker 3: person is this? 327 00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:43,600 Speaker 7: But then like, if you want the answer, how many 328 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:45,800 Speaker 7: years later has it been seven years six or seven 329 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,199 Speaker 7: six or sevenays later? That's not the reason, it's not 330 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:51,120 Speaker 7: your beautiful. The connection was really strong and I remember 331 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,200 Speaker 7: it and it was like I genuinely thought, like, Wow, 332 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:55,520 Speaker 7: I'm really enjoying this conversation with this person. 333 00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:56,040 Speaker 5: And. 334 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:01,000 Speaker 3: Okay, I need to come clean. I need to come clean. 335 00:19:01,119 --> 00:19:04,200 Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I can't keep painting sweet Mitchell 336 00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:07,840 Speaker 3: this way as some dreadful Ghoster because he wasn't one. 337 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:10,800 Speaker 3: No Mitch came to the top of my mind because 338 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,919 Speaker 3: he didn't ghost me. He instead just told me straight 339 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:17,080 Speaker 3: up that things were getting serious with another person and 340 00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:18,560 Speaker 3: that he would just like to be friends. 341 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,760 Speaker 7: I remember writing how I actually felt I just want 342 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,560 Speaker 7: I owed you, I really liked you, and I owed 343 00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,280 Speaker 7: you a genuine reason as to why I wasn't gonna work. 344 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,359 Speaker 7: It was getting very serious with my then partner, who 345 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:31,680 Speaker 7: I stayed with for five years. 346 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:33,560 Speaker 6: So I do remember that. 347 00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:37,320 Speaker 3: Yes, well, you know, like the original and immediate reaction 348 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,280 Speaker 3: was oh my god, this is shitty. But then that 349 00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:42,160 Speaker 3: only lasted for like two months, less than a month, okay, 350 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:43,280 Speaker 3: like forty five minutes. 351 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:44,600 Speaker 6: I'm worth maybe three months. 352 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,760 Speaker 3: No, maybe like a minute and a half. Okay, interesting, 353 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:48,760 Speaker 3: what you had done was given me an answer? Yeah, 354 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,119 Speaker 3: I had a thought that I could grasp onto. You 355 00:19:51,119 --> 00:19:53,600 Speaker 3: didn't leave me in the dark. I was given an 356 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,000 Speaker 3: uncomfortable answer, but at least I was given one. Yeah, 357 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:57,960 Speaker 3: my time for me to move on, find someone else 358 00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,119 Speaker 3: I have better compatibility with. 359 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:02,720 Speaker 6: That's how you do it, guys, Yeah, it's not hard. 360 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,960 Speaker 3: By saying the uncomfortable stuff out loud, Mitch had saved 361 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:12,600 Speaker 3: me from the blame, the turmoil, the confusion. I felt 362 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:14,840 Speaker 3: that with others, but he was one I didn't have 363 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:18,480 Speaker 3: to worry about, and I can't thank him enough. He 364 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,760 Speaker 3: could have left me on red, he could have ghosted, 365 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:25,560 Speaker 3: he could have been awful, but he wasn't. Sadly though, 366 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:29,680 Speaker 3: Mitch was the exception and not the rule. Some conversations 367 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:32,280 Speaker 3: will never be had and some things will get lost 368 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:36,399 Speaker 3: in translation, and that has to be Okay, what was 369 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:40,679 Speaker 3: that great saying again? Yeah, rejection is redirection. 370 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,520 Speaker 6: Oh well, like that you was at the Darwin Psychologist. 371 00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,040 Speaker 3: No, it was someone else. It was it was a 372 00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:47,960 Speaker 3: thirty five year old. 373 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:51,480 Speaker 6: Interest it got it okay and sent me the link. 374 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,399 Speaker 3: Shall we call it a rap? Before we roll the 375 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,399 Speaker 3: final credits, here are some last bits of advice straight 376 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:00,440 Speaker 3: from the director. Cut. 377 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:04,000 Speaker 7: Dating is tough. You can't let it get you down. 378 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,399 Speaker 7: That's not your person. A person's not right for you, 379 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:08,040 Speaker 7: or that's not your hook out, that's not the moment, 380 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:09,360 Speaker 7: they're not right for you. 381 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:13,600 Speaker 6: You cannot let a little ghosting stop you from dating 382 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:14,399 Speaker 6: or going forward. 383 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,200 Speaker 5: And let's also be real to the ghosters out there. 384 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,640 Speaker 5: Ghosting others is not going to make it easier for 385 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:27,119 Speaker 5: you to date. People don't like being treated like they're disposable. 386 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:31,200 Speaker 5: So unless it has to do with your safety, consider 387 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:34,320 Speaker 5: if you can communicate what you're feeling in ways that 388 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:40,359 Speaker 5: are clear and non blaming. So practice communicating effectively and assertively. 389 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,600 Speaker 3: Everyone deserves today if that's what they want, of course, 390 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:48,680 Speaker 3: and if ghosting is an unfortunate inevitability, then we must 391 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:52,880 Speaker 3: remain open hearted to keep our peace. Maybe then it's 392 00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:55,679 Speaker 3: about making sure that the firing you burns bright on 393 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:58,480 Speaker 3: its own, so that when the ghost's clear and the 394 00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:00,880 Speaker 3: sparks come fireworks. 395 00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:21,080 Speaker 2: Mark, I can see you smiling. How does it feel 396 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:22,200 Speaker 2: listening to that? 397 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:25,840 Speaker 3: That felt so Norah Efron, queen of two thousands of 398 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:26,240 Speaker 3: wrong goings? 399 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:29,159 Speaker 2: Hey, there's nothing wrong with having a self comparison to 400 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:32,560 Speaker 2: Norah Efron. You did bring all the feelings. You brought 401 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:35,120 Speaker 2: all the feelings in that one. And I promise I'm 402 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:36,720 Speaker 2: going to get to the podcasting, but I have to 403 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:39,280 Speaker 2: ask about the personal stuff first. It would have been 404 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,480 Speaker 2: confronting reaching out to contact Mitch and ask him to 405 00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:44,800 Speaker 2: be part of this. How did you do it and 406 00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:47,199 Speaker 2: how did you kind of get yourself ready to do that? 407 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:50,480 Speaker 3: It was so funny. I think I put off having 408 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:54,200 Speaker 3: that initial invite conversation with him, but then this was 409 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:55,919 Speaker 3: simply just a matter of like reaching out to him 410 00:22:55,920 --> 00:23:00,560 Speaker 3: on Instagram like, Hey, I've got this incredible interview coming 411 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:02,280 Speaker 3: up and I want you to be part of it. 412 00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:05,400 Speaker 3: Are you down? And he was so willing to help 413 00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:08,080 Speaker 3: and so lovely about it. I'm so grateful for him 414 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:11,159 Speaker 3: for his vulnerability as well. It was very healing speaking 415 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:14,320 Speaker 3: to him, and to interlace that with what Ruthie was 416 00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:17,520 Speaker 3: speaking about, it was just I feel like, I've felt 417 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,600 Speaker 3: a lot of romantic feelings and fragments, and so to 418 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:24,159 Speaker 3: have these two conversations really helped provide like a framework 419 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:28,919 Speaker 3: to how I emote and how I should move forward 420 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:31,760 Speaker 3: and you know, feel my feelings instead of think through them. 421 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:35,000 Speaker 3: So yeah, it was such a healing experience speaking to 422 00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,359 Speaker 3: Mitch and then to Smithie as well. 423 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:40,560 Speaker 2: What made you want to tell a story about ghosting 424 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:41,800 Speaker 2: and explore the subject. 425 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:45,760 Speaker 3: Well, I am very proudly a hopeless romantic. 426 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:49,240 Speaker 2: I think I got that. I think that came through. 427 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:54,120 Speaker 3: I also would consider myself a late bloomer. I never 428 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:57,679 Speaker 3: experienced romantic love when I was younger, which, you know, 429 00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:59,760 Speaker 3: now navigating this in my twenties, I feel a little 430 00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:04,480 Speaker 3: bit stumpeded, which sort of overtakes my mind sometimes. When 431 00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:07,200 Speaker 3: I finally took ownership of sort of my dating life, 432 00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:10,000 Speaker 3: I found I was encountering ghosters a lot and it 433 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,080 Speaker 3: bothered me a lot, And I was like, why does 434 00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:14,720 Speaker 3: this bother me? There are people who are get ghosted 435 00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:17,520 Speaker 3: and it's not a big deal, But to me, I 436 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:20,199 Speaker 3: was like, why is this the case? And so I 437 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:23,919 Speaker 3: really really wanted to like explore this phenomena, learn so 438 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:27,640 Speaker 3: much about myself and about how ghosting works, and then 439 00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:30,640 Speaker 3: take the listeners with me as well, so that it's 440 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:33,240 Speaker 3: a big overall learning experience for all of us. 441 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:36,680 Speaker 2: What do you hope that listeners take away from this story? 442 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,800 Speaker 3: Look, there are two major takeaways for me, the first 443 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:42,840 Speaker 3: being you know what I learned with Smoothie. I think 444 00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:45,560 Speaker 3: to love yourself is to be uncompromising with your wants 445 00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:49,040 Speaker 3: and needs. You know, in the meantime, interrogate your feelings, 446 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:52,320 Speaker 3: feel them, do your thing. The second thing really is 447 00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:55,000 Speaker 3: that I am single, I am on the prowl. I'm 448 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:57,600 Speaker 3: single and ready to mingle. Yeah. So if there are 449 00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,639 Speaker 3: any queer men who are listening and are interested and 450 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,800 Speaker 3: have loved my storytelling and my voice, I will happily 451 00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:07,679 Speaker 3: do the same in their ear. So if you're interested, 452 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,120 Speaker 3: reach out. You know, my dms are open. 453 00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:12,720 Speaker 2: Oh my god, there's a whole new spinoff podcast that 454 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:14,919 Speaker 2: I am seeing that is possible right now, Mark all 455 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:18,040 Speaker 2: the producers, they're going to have their inboxes flooded, flooded 456 00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:21,960 Speaker 2: with requests from admirers of yours and your beautiful voice. 457 00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:24,359 Speaker 2: I have loved what a great job you have done 458 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:28,280 Speaker 2: with all your episodes, and particularly today Thank you so much, Mark. 459 00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:30,159 Speaker 3: Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. 460 00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:44,040 Speaker 2: Well, folks. Mark has set the bar high and in 461 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:48,640 Speaker 2: our final episode we will be hearing from Ben. That's 462 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:51,760 Speaker 2: before I decide who is going to be our first 463 00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:56,840 Speaker 2: ever Find and Tell Champion. It is getting really exciting 464 00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,560 Speaker 2: now everyone, you do not want to miss it. Hit 465 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:04,440 Speaker 2: follow in your podcast app now because the epic conclusion 466 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:08,800 Speaker 2: to Find and Tell is on the way. Thank you 467 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:13,159 Speaker 2: also to Afters and Roade Australia for supporting our storytellers 468 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:16,399 Speaker 2: with some incredible prizes. Find and Tell is a co 469 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:20,760 Speaker 2: production between iHeart Australia and the black Cast podcast network. 470 00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:24,359 Speaker 2: Black Cast empowers First Nations people and people of color 471 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:28,919 Speaker 2: to reclaim their narratives, to strengthen cultural identity and contribute 472 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:33,280 Speaker 2: to a more inclusive Australia by showcasing exciting emerging talent 473 00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:34,679 Speaker 2: from Australian communities.