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Speaker 1: My name's Nan. I'm a storyteller on Fine and Tell.

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Speaker 1: I'm Australian born Korean and I'm currently living on Gadigle Country.

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Speaker 1: I'd like to recognize the traditional custodians of this continent

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Speaker 1: whose land was stolen nearly two hundred and fifty years ago,

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Speaker 1: in particular the Camaragle and Warneri people, whose Land Is

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Speaker 1: podcast was recorded on and we extended our respect to

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Speaker 1: all Aboriginal and torrest Right islander peoples. The rich storytelling

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Speaker 1: history of the world's oldest living culture is what we

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Speaker 1: pay homage to when we tell stories on Fine and Tell.

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Speaker 2: Hello, I'm Jimilla Risby and this is Find and Tell,

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Speaker 2: the search for the next generation of Australian storytellers, and

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Speaker 2: here we are. We started with hundreds of applications from

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Speaker 2: wannabe podcasters from all around Australia. We narrowed it down

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Speaker 2: to just four storytellers who you have gotten to know

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Speaker 2: and fall in love with on the show over the

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Speaker 2: last few weeks, and now now we're down to the

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Speaker 2: final two, Ben and Mark. All that's standing between them

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Speaker 2: and being crowned our first ever Find and Tell Champion

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Speaker 2: is one last story whoever tells it best will win

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Speaker 2: the crown and they'll take home best in Class podcasting

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Speaker 2: goodies and gear from the team at Rhade Australia and

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Speaker 2: a range of short courses from the Australian Film, Television

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Speaker 2: and Radio School, so our winner can continue to find

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Speaker 2: and tell stories well into their future. Both Ben and

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Speaker 2: Mark's final theme is lost in translation, and today we're

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Speaker 2: going to hear from Mark. Since his very first story,

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Speaker 2: Mark has been willing to be totally vulnerable with me,

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Speaker 2: with you, our audience. He's shared his experiences as a

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Speaker 2: gay man growing up in the Mormon Church and the

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Speaker 2: everyday challenges faced by people who are plus size. He's

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Speaker 2: even tickled our nostalgia by bringing up memories of Cosma

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Speaker 2: DeVito's dramatic exit from Australian idol what feels like one

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Speaker 2: hundred years ago. Mark has this natural talent for bringing

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Speaker 2: us the audience into his world. He weaves his humor

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Speaker 2: and his warmth into everything he does, even when he's

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Speaker 2: tackling some really serious subjects. So for the very last time, Mark,

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Speaker 2: welcome back to find and tell Hi.

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Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, that was a bitter sweet This really

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Speaker 3: is the last time right, it's.

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Speaker 2: So exciting to see you again. But yeah, knowing this

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Speaker 2: is it, I am so psyched to hear your final story.

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Speaker 2: Tell me, have you developed your storytelling style over that time?

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Speaker 2: Do you feel like you know a bit more about

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Speaker 2: the kind of storyteller you are?

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Speaker 3: Well, you know, I guess it just depends on the

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Speaker 3: story as well. Some will require a lot of me,

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Speaker 3: some won't. I may just be a platform or I

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Speaker 3: may just be like a conduit. So I think the

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Speaker 3: biggest thing that I've learned really is just to be flexible,

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Speaker 3: to be agile, to take things with grace, and to

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Speaker 3: problem solve in ways that I never thought i'd have

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Speaker 3: to problem solve, like even from a logistical perspective sometimes,

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Speaker 3: particularly with this episode. So yeah, just to be flexible

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Speaker 3: and love the whole process.

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Speaker 2: In the meantime, the theme for this final episode is

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Speaker 2: lost in translation. When I first told you and Ben

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Speaker 2: the theme where did your Where did your mind go?

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Speaker 2: Did you have a story that came about quickly? Or

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Speaker 2: did you have to go hunting?

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Speaker 3: Actually, this was the first time that I was stumped.

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Speaker 3: From the very beginning. I think I had I had

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Speaker 3: stories that I wanted to tell, even going into this

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Speaker 3: competition that I was able to work into the incredible

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Speaker 3: themes we've been given before. But this was the first

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Speaker 3: time I was like, oh my goodness, I don't have

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Speaker 3: anything that come immediately to mind, and so I had

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Speaker 3: to work through that freak out first and then eventually like,

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Speaker 3: really back in, have a good solid think to really

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Speaker 3: just like dig deep and look inwards. And I hope

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Speaker 3: people enjoy listening to me.

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Speaker 2: Yep, they definitely will. I know that for sure, So

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Speaker 2: let's do it. The theme is lost in translation and

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Speaker 2: Mark this is your fourth and final contribution to Find

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Speaker 2: and Tell.

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Speaker 3: So I hate being ghosted. I hate being left in

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Speaker 3: the dark. When you're left with gaps of information, you

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Speaker 3: fill it with your own. Is it because I'm fat?

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Speaker 3: I do something wrong and I say something wrong?

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Speaker 2: Go?

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Speaker 3: I don't I deserve an explanation. Ghosting can sometimes feel

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Speaker 3: like a stab in the heart. It's so much worse

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Speaker 3: than regular rejection. It's like a rug has been pulled

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Speaker 3: out from under your feet, which really fucking sucks. I

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Speaker 3: remember the very first time I was ghosted. I was

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Speaker 3: twenty one and super fresh to the dating scene. Into

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Speaker 3: that apps, I matched with this cute Filipino guy in

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Speaker 3: my area and we hit it off. We spoke day night,

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Speaker 3: punding over our love for K pop, and I remember

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Speaker 3: messaging chat tomorrow one evening, but by the next morning

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Speaker 3: his profile was gone. So why do we keep putting

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Speaker 3: ourselves out there? Well, I guess we're all looking for

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Speaker 3: that spark, right, I'm talking Anne Hathaway early two thousands

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Speaker 3: y two k cheesy rum coom spark. To some, it's

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Speaker 3: a kiss that has you kicking your feet up, like

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Speaker 3: in the Princess Diaries.

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Speaker 4: In old films, whenever a girl get seriously kissed, her

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Speaker 4: foot would just.

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Speaker 3: Kind of popped, or a sloppy passion the rain like

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Speaker 3: in the Notebook. To others, it's enemies to lovers, cliche

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Speaker 3: like and you've got male or friends to lovers in

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Speaker 3: suddenly thirty, I'm.

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Speaker 5: Just crying because I'm happy.

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Speaker 4: I want you to be so so happy. I love you, mad,

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Speaker 4: You're my best friend.

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Speaker 3: Cheesy, cheesy, I know, but I want that so bad.

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Speaker 3: I want to stroll hand in hand with someone in

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Speaker 3: Central Park. I want to spend hours yapping and explaining

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Speaker 3: and venting. I want that Gilmore Girl's conversation speed where

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Speaker 3: the connection is undeniable and almost unspoken. It's a little

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Speaker 3: sad to admit at twenty eight, but I don't think

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Speaker 3: I've ever felt that spark, at least not in full.

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Speaker 3: I've come really close, but they would all just eventually

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Speaker 3: fizzle out. But one aspect of dating in twenty twenty

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Speaker 3: four that Renee Zelger and Colin Firth didn't prepare me

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Speaker 3: for was ghosting and fair Bridget Jones's Diary would have

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Speaker 3: been a completely different movie. The ending was Bridget blocking

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Speaker 3: mister Darcy on Tinder. So why do people ghost? And

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Speaker 3: how do we move on? Sometimes I wish I could

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Speaker 3: go back in time, break all the rules and revisit

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Speaker 3: some of my almost not to beg but to just

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Speaker 3: I don't know, find out why why didn't it work out?

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Speaker 3: If only I had a platform where I talked to people,

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Speaker 3: and if only iHeart was the same company that an

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Speaker 3: old flame now has his own radio show and podcast with,

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Speaker 3: I could reach out and ask the questions I've been

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Speaker 3: wanting to ask.

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Speaker 6: Oh wait, hang on a minute, Oh god, Oh, I

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Speaker 6: don't know. I feel bad. I feel guilty. I feel bad, Okay, cool, I.

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Speaker 3: Don't feel guilty. No, that wasn't the intention of this

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Speaker 3: chat at all.

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Speaker 6: You can grill me.

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Speaker 3: I'm an open book if you want to grill me.

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Speaker 3: He grilled me, absolutely not. Look so that's Mitch true.

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Speaker 3: He's the night show host on Kiss in Sydney and

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Speaker 3: we matched on Tinder back in twenty seventeen, and from

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Speaker 3: the jump I felt a connection. We would chat for

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Speaker 3: hours and hours and hours, and he got all of

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Speaker 3: my pop culture references. We were right on the cusp

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Speaker 3: of that spark, but that soon dropped off. We'll come

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Speaker 3: back to him later. It's juicy, I know, I know.

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Speaker 3: But before we get there, we got to do some work.

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Speaker 3: We're going to therapy. I have so many questions about

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Speaker 3: ghosting as a phenomena, and I want to understand why

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Speaker 3: people do it, or if people feel the same way

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Speaker 3: I do. In the aftermath, I first reached out to

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Speaker 3: my mates and ask for their ghost stories.

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Speaker 4: I've been ghosting so many times I don't know.

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Speaker 3: Usually it's not like dates with people, and then I

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Speaker 3: think that maybe they're a friend of confrontation or don't

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Speaker 3: want to spend the energy on it. Maybe the same

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Speaker 3: reason I goost people. The sheer number of friends who

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Speaker 3: have been ghosted did not surprise me, But what was

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Speaker 3: surprising was how many had been the ghoste.

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Speaker 1: So I have ghosted myself just once.

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Speaker 4: It wasn't fair.

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Speaker 1: He didn't deserve it, but he was just a nice

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Speaker 1: guy and I was a bit young and a bit silly.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I just never messaged again.

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Speaker 3: I think most people would agree that ghosting isn't the

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Speaker 3: most mature way to end things, but I learned that

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Speaker 3: sometimes ghosting is necessary to keep yourself safe.

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Speaker 4: On the third day, he invited me to his place.

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Speaker 4: The apartment creeped me out. Basically, I was not feeling it.

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Speaker 4: I was really anxious. My intuition was like, get out

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Speaker 4: of here. He took my phone and wouldn't let me

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Speaker 4: book the obar and I had to like pam my

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Speaker 4: way out of there. And I managed to get out

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Speaker 4: of there. And then he sent me a few messages

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Speaker 4: wanting to meet up again, and I didn't respond.

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Speaker 3: So is ghosting as black and white, as right or wrong?

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Speaker 3: Some stats on mind found that most people actually think

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Speaker 3: ghosting is appropriate in certain situations, and nearly two and

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Speaker 3: three have ghosted someone else. Almost everyone will experience it

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Speaker 3: at some stage. I guess people just ghosts and that's

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Speaker 3: a reality. But why what are the reasons?

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Speaker 5: I think you know that I'm about to say this.

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Speaker 5: There is no single answer and there is no simple

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Speaker 5: answer as to why people ghost others.

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Speaker 3: As promised, here is relational psychologist Smoothly there who practically

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Speaker 3: gave me a free therapy session answering all of my

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Speaker 3: big ticket questions about ghosting. Smoothly helps people who've been

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Speaker 3: impacted by relationships and the trauma that can come with

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Speaker 3: personal displacement. For the Darwin based psych ghosting is so

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Speaker 3: much more complex than we could ever.

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Speaker 5: Think, and for so many people who ghost, it is

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Speaker 5: about being too overwhelmed to own up and say they

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Speaker 5: don't want to see the other person again. And I

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Speaker 5: want to be clear, this is not an excuse. This

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Speaker 5: is usually the reason they do this. Sometimes it can

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Speaker 5: be too stressful or too uncomfortable to say no. Some

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Speaker 5: people ghost others because they're insecure themselves. They might not

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Speaker 5: be emotionally mature or empathetic, or they might refuse to

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Speaker 5: take accountability for how their behavior impacts other people. Regardless

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Speaker 5: of intent, this kind of behavior is extremely poor communication.

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Speaker 5: It's hurtful to the other person. Usually, ghosting says more

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Speaker 5: about the person doing the ghosting than the ghosting.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that makes sense. I don't need a therapist to

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Speaker 3: tell me that when I get ghosted, I automatically blame myself.

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Speaker 3: And maybe that's why it hurts so much when someone

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Speaker 3: leaves me with no answers. I'm not to find that

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Speaker 3: closure on my own. It brings my deepest insecurities to

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Speaker 3: the surface, and I become my harshest. In our critic

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Speaker 3: for Smithie, this pattern of thinking is what ghosting really

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Speaker 3: taps into.

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Speaker 5: Someone who gets ghosted, if they already struggle with loneliness

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Speaker 5: or rejection, sensitivity, or self esteem, ghosting can then perpetuate

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Speaker 5: that thinking, and they might internalize the rejection and they

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Speaker 5: might be convinced that somehow they miss the mark or

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Speaker 5: they're not good enough to date. They might start building

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Speaker 5: this narrative in their head, built on confirmation bias, that

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Speaker 5: dating is never going to work out for them, or

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Speaker 5: that they need to change who they are, they need

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Speaker 5: to change their personality in order to be likable. If

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Speaker 5: somebody tends to have this experience multiple times, and if

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Speaker 5: they are not encouraged to self reflect and think about

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Speaker 5: this from a mental health lens, it just drives them

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Speaker 5: further down a really negative paths.

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Speaker 3: Those anxious and irrational thought cycles are hard to predict

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Speaker 3: and control, and we may not always have someone else

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Speaker 3: to help us out of them. So then, how do

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Speaker 3: we change that? How do we not internalize the external

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Speaker 3: data we've been given? How do we feel empowered to

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Speaker 3: break these cycles on our own? Look, I think it's

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Speaker 3: time to face the inevitable. We need to look inwards,

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Speaker 3: confront the dark stuff, and work our way to the light.

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Speaker 3: Except that our feelings may not always be reciprocated, and

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Speaker 3: accept that ghosting is unavoidable, whether that be from a

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Speaker 3: lack of chemistry or a loser with no empathy. So

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Speaker 3: what now? What should we do when we're ghosted? Scream

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Speaker 3: into our pillows, close the curtains and blast olivery of Rodrigo,

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Speaker 3: Cry into a drive through speaker box, Oh just me,

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Speaker 3: Oh my bad. Smoothie suggests that we focus on what's

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Speaker 3: in our control. The way that someone acts on Tinder

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Speaker 3: is not in our control.

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Speaker 5: You are going to feel some sort of faith if

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Speaker 5: you get ghosted. Let's accept that feelings of feelings and

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Speaker 5: fighting and invalidating your feelings is not going to help.

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Speaker 5: What is going to help is understanding why you feel,

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Speaker 5: how do you feel, and starting to process them. This

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Speaker 5: can include things like self reflection, understanding your triggers, understanding

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Speaker 5: your past experiences how do these shape your current feelings.

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Speaker 5: This might involve not immediately believing your just because someone

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Speaker 5: did not text you back. It's very easy for us

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Speaker 5: to fall into feeling shame when we perceive ourselves as

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Speaker 5: not being good enough or being unworthy of being responded to,

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Speaker 5: being replied to. I would really encourage people to replace

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Speaker 5: that with what you would tell a friend who got ghosted.

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Speaker 5: It sucks. It's really hard, so remember to be self compassionate.

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Speaker 5: Being self compassionate will not fix the problem, no, but

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Speaker 5: you know what, it'll give you enough time and space

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Speaker 5: to start feeling like yourself again so that you can

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Speaker 5: then reflect and problem solve and re energize and talk

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Speaker 5: about it.

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Speaker 3: I'm a big believer in rejection being redirection. If I'm

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Speaker 3: going to be a loyal subscriber to faith and that

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Speaker 3: everything happens for a reason, I must also believe that

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Speaker 3: some connections aren't meant to be. It's not the end

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Speaker 3: of the world, and he it may just not be

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Speaker 3: that into me This might be hard to hear, but

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Speaker 3: surviving a ghosting may require some tough self reflection. I've

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Speaker 3: always struggled with confronting rejection head on. I lose myself

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Speaker 3: in those inner conversations so easily, but to ground myself

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Speaker 3: I must push through. Smoothie says that self care is

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Speaker 3: a vital part of the process, so I asked her,

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Speaker 3: how can we take better care of ourselves when we're

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Speaker 3: grieving and processing a rejection.

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Speaker 5: I agree that sometimes it is about having those difficult

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Speaker 5: conversations or honest conversations with yourself, and self care is

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Speaker 5: definitely not about massages and candles date They can be great,

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Speaker 5: but self care has to be sustainable. It is about

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Speaker 5: putting yourself first, about valuing yourself and making a habit

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Speaker 5: out of it.

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Speaker 3: After chatting with Smithie, I took her advice and started

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Speaker 3: to self reflect. I paused my sixteen three watch of

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Speaker 3: The Devil Wares Prada, opened the curtains, fluffed and reshaped

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Speaker 3: my pillows, and I looked back on my almosts, on

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Speaker 3: the ghosters and on the fizzlers. Some were short lived,

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Speaker 3: some a bit longer. I can forgive most of them

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Speaker 3: and still hurt with the rest. But I can't think

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Speaker 3: my way through that pain. I have to feel it

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Speaker 3: and then eventually let it go as I work through

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Speaker 3: the self deprecation and the confusion to then eventually find

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Speaker 3: my own approaches to self care. There is one situationship

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Speaker 3: in particular that keeps making a recurring guest appearance in

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Speaker 3: the Rolling rom com in my mind. So let's get

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Speaker 3: back to Mitch, the radio host that I almost felt

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Speaker 3: that spark with, the one I've always wanted to look

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Speaker 3: in the eye and have a conversation with.

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Speaker 6: This will be fun, fun, I'm say.

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Speaker 3: Okay, So I'll read the script narration that I have

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Speaker 3: planned for this and then we'll go straight into a chat. Okay,

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Speaker 3: I'm so excited. Okay. So, like I said, things with

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Speaker 3: Mitch started as most modern love stories do, on Tinder

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Speaker 3: in twenty seventeen. This was before he was kiss a

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Speaker 3: Fem's night show host and before he was voted Australia's

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Speaker 3: most relatable media personality. Whatever he was though, the cashcock

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Speaker 3: running errands for Kyle and Jackie. Oh oh god, our

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Speaker 3: banter was electric. This was the chemistry I'd been waiting for.

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Speaker 3: We both adored sushi and spent so many late nights

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Speaker 3: laughing about musical theater. We shared our dreams and aspirations

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Speaker 3: of living in New York, and we were so hopeful

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Speaker 3: for our features. This went on for a couple of months,

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Speaker 3: and we promised to meet, but things just never worked

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Speaker 3: out and our timing never aligned. Then I started to

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Speaker 3: feel him pull away. Was that accurate? Is that how

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Speaker 3: you remember?

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Speaker 2: Okay?

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Speaker 6: Why am I pining for this relationship that never happened.

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Speaker 7: I'm moaning the loss of the love that I didn't

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Speaker 7: even know existed.

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Speaker 6: I've got a half erection. I didn't even know it's possible.

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Speaker 7: I am in love with you all over again, and

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Speaker 7: I do remember it in that way.

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Speaker 3: There, it is that mixtruy charm. We just bounced off

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Speaker 3: each other so easily. But it was only seven years later,

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Speaker 3: on the other side of that fizzle, that I was

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Speaker 3: comfortable and secure enough to reach out and speak to

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Speaker 3: him again.

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Speaker 7: I'll be honest, that part of my life was very

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Speaker 7: weird at that point. I was like, send me in

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Speaker 7: the closet. I was using dating and the apps to

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Speaker 7: enter that world. Right. I was just nervous, But I'm

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Speaker 7: a nervous person in general. I don't like letting people down.

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Speaker 3: Like I still had a minute where I was like, Oh,

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Speaker 3: is it because I'm this or is it because that

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Speaker 3: person is this?

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Speaker 7: But then like, if you want the answer, how many

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Speaker 7: years later has it been seven years six or seven

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Speaker 7: six or sevenays later? That's not the reason, it's not

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Speaker 7: your beautiful. The connection was really strong and I remember

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Speaker 7: it and it was like I genuinely thought, like, Wow,

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Speaker 7: I'm really enjoying this conversation with this person.

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Speaker 5: And.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I need to come clean. I need to come clean.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I can't keep painting sweet Mitchell

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Speaker 3: this way as some dreadful Ghoster because he wasn't one.

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Speaker 3: No Mitch came to the top of my mind because

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Speaker 3: he didn't ghost me. He instead just told me straight

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Speaker 3: up that things were getting serious with another person and

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Speaker 3: that he would just like to be friends.

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Speaker 7: I remember writing how I actually felt I just want

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Speaker 7: I owed you, I really liked you, and I owed

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Speaker 7: you a genuine reason as to why I wasn't gonna work.

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Speaker 7: It was getting very serious with my then partner, who

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Speaker 7: I stayed with for five years.

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Speaker 6: So I do remember that.

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Speaker 3: Yes, well, you know, like the original and immediate reaction

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Speaker 3: was oh my god, this is shitty. But then that

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Speaker 3: only lasted for like two months, less than a month, okay,

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Speaker 3: like forty five minutes.

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Speaker 6: I'm worth maybe three months.

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Speaker 3: No, maybe like a minute and a half. Okay, interesting,

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Speaker 3: what you had done was given me an answer? Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I had a thought that I could grasp onto. You

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Speaker 3: didn't leave me in the dark. I was given an

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Speaker 3: uncomfortable answer, but at least I was given one. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: my time for me to move on, find someone else

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Speaker 3: I have better compatibility with.

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Speaker 6: That's how you do it, guys, Yeah, it's not hard.

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Speaker 3: By saying the uncomfortable stuff out loud, Mitch had saved

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Speaker 3: me from the blame, the turmoil, the confusion. I felt

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Speaker 3: that with others, but he was one I didn't have

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Speaker 3: to worry about, and I can't thank him enough. He

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Speaker 3: could have left me on red, he could have ghosted,

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Speaker 3: he could have been awful, but he wasn't. Sadly though,

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Speaker 3: Mitch was the exception and not the rule. Some conversations

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Speaker 3: will never be had and some things will get lost

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Speaker 3: in translation, and that has to be Okay, what was

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Speaker 3: that great saying again? Yeah, rejection is redirection.

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Speaker 6: Oh well, like that you was at the Darwin Psychologist.

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Speaker 3: No, it was someone else. It was it was a

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Speaker 3: thirty five year old.

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Speaker 6: Interest it got it okay and sent me the link.

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Speaker 3: Shall we call it a rap? Before we roll the

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Speaker 3: final credits, here are some last bits of advice straight

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Speaker 3: from the director. Cut.

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Speaker 7: Dating is tough. You can't let it get you down.

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Speaker 7: That's not your person. A person's not right for you,

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Speaker 7: or that's not your hook out, that's not the moment,

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Speaker 7: they're not right for you.

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Speaker 6: You cannot let a little ghosting stop you from dating

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Speaker 6: or going forward.

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Speaker 5: And let's also be real to the ghosters out there.

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Speaker 5: Ghosting others is not going to make it easier for

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Speaker 5: you to date. People don't like being treated like they're disposable.

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Speaker 5: So unless it has to do with your safety, consider

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Speaker 5: if you can communicate what you're feeling in ways that

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Speaker 5: are clear and non blaming. So practice communicating effectively and assertively.

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Speaker 3: Everyone deserves today if that's what they want, of course,

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Speaker 3: and if ghosting is an unfortunate inevitability, then we must

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Speaker 3: remain open hearted to keep our peace. Maybe then it's

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Speaker 3: about making sure that the firing you burns bright on

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Speaker 3: its own, so that when the ghost's clear and the

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Speaker 3: sparks come fireworks.

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Speaker 2: Mark, I can see you smiling. How does it feel

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Speaker 2: listening to that?

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Speaker 3: That felt so Norah Efron, queen of two thousands of

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Speaker 3: wrong goings?

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Speaker 2: Hey, there's nothing wrong with having a self comparison to

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Speaker 2: Norah Efron. You did bring all the feelings. You brought

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Speaker 2: all the feelings in that one. And I promise I'm

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Speaker 2: going to get to the podcasting, but I have to

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Speaker 2: ask about the personal stuff first. It would have been

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Speaker 2: confronting reaching out to contact Mitch and ask him to

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Speaker 2: be part of this. How did you do it and

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Speaker 2: how did you kind of get yourself ready to do that?

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Speaker 3: It was so funny. I think I put off having

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Speaker 3: that initial invite conversation with him, but then this was

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Speaker 3: simply just a matter of like reaching out to him

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Speaker 3: on Instagram like, Hey, I've got this incredible interview coming

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Speaker 3: up and I want you to be part of it.

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Speaker 3: Are you down? And he was so willing to help

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Speaker 3: and so lovely about it. I'm so grateful for him

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Speaker 3: for his vulnerability as well. It was very healing speaking

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Speaker 3: to him, and to interlace that with what Ruthie was

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Speaker 3: speaking about, it was just I feel like, I've felt

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Speaker 3: a lot of romantic feelings and fragments, and so to

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Speaker 3: have these two conversations really helped provide like a framework

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Speaker 3: to how I emote and how I should move forward

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Speaker 3: and you know, feel my feelings instead of think through them.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, it was such a healing experience speaking to

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Speaker 3: Mitch and then to Smithie as well.

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Speaker 2: What made you want to tell a story about ghosting

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Speaker 2: and explore the subject.

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Speaker 3: Well, I am very proudly a hopeless romantic.

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Speaker 2: I think I got that. I think that came through.

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Speaker 3: I also would consider myself a late bloomer. I never

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Speaker 3: experienced romantic love when I was younger, which, you know,

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Speaker 3: now navigating this in my twenties, I feel a little

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Speaker 3: bit stumpeded, which sort of overtakes my mind sometimes. When

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Speaker 3: I finally took ownership of sort of my dating life,

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Speaker 3: I found I was encountering ghosters a lot and it

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Speaker 3: bothered me a lot, And I was like, why does

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Speaker 3: this bother me? There are people who are get ghosted

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Speaker 3: and it's not a big deal, But to me, I

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Speaker 3: was like, why is this the case? And so I

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00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:23,919
Speaker 3: really really wanted to like explore this phenomena, learn so

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00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:27,640
Speaker 3: much about myself and about how ghosting works, and then

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00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:30,640
Speaker 3: take the listeners with me as well, so that it's

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00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:33,240
Speaker 3: a big overall learning experience for all of us.

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Speaker 2: What do you hope that listeners take away from this story?

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Speaker 3: Look, there are two major takeaways for me, the first

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00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:42,840
Speaker 3: being you know what I learned with Smoothie. I think

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00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:45,560
Speaker 3: to love yourself is to be uncompromising with your wants

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00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 3: and needs. You know, in the meantime, interrogate your feelings,

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00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:52,320
Speaker 3: feel them, do your thing. The second thing really is

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00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:55,000
Speaker 3: that I am single, I am on the prowl. I'm

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00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 3: single and ready to mingle. Yeah. So if there are

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Speaker 3: any queer men who are listening and are interested and

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00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,800
Speaker 3: have loved my storytelling and my voice, I will happily

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00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:07,679
Speaker 3: do the same in their ear. So if you're interested,

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00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,120
Speaker 3: reach out. You know, my dms are open.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, there's a whole new spinoff podcast that

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00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:14,919
Speaker 2: I am seeing that is possible right now, Mark all

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Speaker 2: the producers, they're going to have their inboxes flooded, flooded

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00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 2: with requests from admirers of yours and your beautiful voice.

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Speaker 2: I have loved what a great job you have done

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Speaker 2: with all your episodes, and particularly today Thank you so much, Mark.

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Speaker 3: Thank you so much. Thank you for having me.

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Speaker 2: Well, folks. Mark has set the bar high and in

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Speaker 2: our final episode we will be hearing from Ben. That's

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Speaker 2: before I decide who is going to be our first

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Speaker 2: ever Find and Tell Champion. It is getting really exciting

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00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 2: now everyone, you do not want to miss it. Hit

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00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:04,440
Speaker 2: follow in your podcast app now because the epic conclusion

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00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:08,800
Speaker 2: to Find and Tell is on the way. Thank you

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00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:13,159
Speaker 2: also to Afters and Roade Australia for supporting our storytellers

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00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:16,399
Speaker 2: with some incredible prizes. Find and Tell is a co

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Speaker 2: production between iHeart Australia and the black Cast podcast network.

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Speaker 2: Black Cast empowers First Nations people and people of color

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Speaker 2: to reclaim their narratives, to strengthen cultural identity and contribute

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Speaker 2: to a more inclusive Australia by showcasing exciting emerging talent

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Speaker 2: from Australian communities.