Speaker 1: Hello, lovely listeners, and welcome back to another episode of
Speaker 1: Ask Uncut. This is our quick, down and dirty episode
Speaker 1: for the week where we answer your deep, dark and
Speaker 1: burning questions. Has anyone ever told you you have really
Speaker 1: cute dimples? No? Laura and I as of today have
Speaker 1: started to record again together one point five minute distance
Speaker 1: in Laura's bedroom. And look at how much you've missed me.
Speaker 1: You want to talk about my dimples because I was
Speaker 1: looking at you just then as you introed that, and
Speaker 1: they're pretty deep, they're pretty intense dimples. Well, they're really cute.
Speaker 1: That's age. No deickness comes from lack of collagen. They're
Speaker 1: cute dimples, which I'm desperately trying to rectify with retine.
Speaker 1: But the years of sun damage in Woollongong have really
Speaker 1: had their toll, just specifically Warongong. What a depressing way
Speaker 1: to start this sun damage anywhere else. So I'm haggard
Speaker 1: and looking worse for wear, but you know what, we're
Speaker 1: in isolation. It doesn't matter. Actually, can we just talk
Speaker 1: about this is a thing? Did anyone else any other
Speaker 1: listeners just notice what just happened. I just complimented Laura
Speaker 1: and she turned it around somehow to say, Okay, I
Speaker 1: get it. I'm haggard. What on earth this isn't topic
Speaker 1: on itself. Women that can't take a compliment and then
Speaker 1: put themselves down. Woman, let's try that again. Love you, dimples,
Speaker 1: thank you. Oh that felt so weird. It gave me
Speaker 1: a shudder right down to my toes. Just tell me
Speaker 1: what you know this week? Something very important? It does
Speaker 1: it affect me? Not at all? From maths, your world,
Speaker 1: not my wealth. You would think that we'd left these
Speaker 1: guys behind with the last season, but we haven't. Did
Speaker 1: you read today that Michael Goonan is now trying to
Speaker 1: sell his wedding ring that he had with Stacy on eBay.
Speaker 1: Not just his wedding ring, his wedding ring and a
Speaker 1: smashed picture of Stacy Waite that should just be on
Speaker 1: by swap Sell. I can't believe it made into eBay.
Speaker 1: It's going for six hundred dollars at the moment. Is
Speaker 1: that all I know? I kind of thought it would
Speaker 1: go for more. I thought be worth more. The thing
Speaker 1: I'm kind of like, I'm a bit unsure about is
Speaker 1: that it's not saying that it's listed for any charity
Speaker 1: or anything. So I think he is literally just selling
Speaker 1: it to pocket six hundred dollars for personal gain. I
Speaker 1: bet you he expected it to go for more than
Speaker 1: six hundred dollars. But hang on, correct me if I'm wrong,
Speaker 1: because I didn't actually watch it. But isn't he really
Speaker 1: really loaded? That's the thing. Why does he need to
Speaker 1: sell a ring for six hundred dollars? Well, I feel
Speaker 1: like if you're selling a ring publicly and a smashed
Speaker 1: picture of your ex, it's a very very very public
Speaker 1: way of having the last stab. Remember when Lara Bingle
Speaker 1: threw a twenty thousand dollar ring down the toilet. When
Speaker 1: Lara Binger was with Michael Clark and they were doing
Speaker 1: their show, like The Real Bingal or whatever it's called,
Speaker 1: the reality show, they had a fight. She flashed her
Speaker 1: ring down the toilet and I was like, actually, I
Speaker 1: think saying twenty thousand dollars, I think it was it
Speaker 1: was like ten times more than that. I can't even remember.
Speaker 1: It was a super expensive ring she put down toilet.
Speaker 1: How many people do you think were out the next
Speaker 1: day in the Eastern suburbs trying to dig up the
Speaker 1: plumbing lines to be like, I will find that ring guilty.
Speaker 1: You'll find it no under you remember it, you have
Speaker 1: to be a little bit jilted still, if you're going
Speaker 1: to go publicly and sell the ring, I think like
Speaker 1: if your statement is it's such a statement in and
Speaker 1: of itself, if you were over it totally or you
Speaker 1: were like and I'm not saying that he's still hung
Speaker 1: up on Stacy, but if you were over it and
Speaker 1: you didn't think about the relationship and it didn't affect you,
Speaker 1: you wouldn't make such a public statement as in selling
Speaker 1: it on eBay. It's a real kick in the day. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there're three of them, so his new partner, Casey who
Speaker 1: was on the show, and Stacy, who was his old partner.
Speaker 1: They're all having the most Stacy I just realized. I
Speaker 1: didn't know that either, But they're having the most ridiculous
Speaker 1: fights online, not even worth mentioning. That's all I'm gonna
Speaker 1: mention about it. But there's a reason I just wasn't
Speaker 1: into that show, because you don't like fun, Brittany. That's
Speaker 1: why I'm sorry. There's no fun in m AFS. That
Speaker 1: was so, so terrible. I'm actually contemplating whether or not
Speaker 1: I need to edit that out. Probably well, I've got
Speaker 1: some news for you, Laura. I'm ready for a pretty
Speaker 1: what news so people people might even say it's too
Speaker 1: hot to handle news. Oh I like what you did there.
Speaker 1: I really like what you did there. Guys, if you
Speaker 1: have jumped on the too hot to handle bandwagon with us,
Speaker 1: they are having a reunion show tomorrow, so on Friday,
Speaker 1: and we get to find out what happened to all
Speaker 1: these train wrecks. I actually saw this come through because
Speaker 1: someone who follows the podcast, who's like deep in the
Speaker 1: Facebook group, they were the ones that sent through, like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, did you know that this was happening.
Speaker 1: I didn't even know this was happening. I got sent
Speaker 1: this from one of our very loyal followers and listeners.
Speaker 1: So I love that. I love that you guys are
Speaker 1: as invested in this as what we are, because we
Speaker 1: are sick for it. To be fair, I think nothing
Speaker 1: is going to I think no one's together except harrying Francesca.
Speaker 1: That's that's it. That's what I'm calling now. I cannot
Speaker 1: wait to see the reunion of Friday. But also I
Speaker 1: hate and I feel dirty about how invested in this
Speaker 1: I am. And I also feel dirty that we talk
Speaker 1: about this for a good five minutes at the start
Speaker 1: of every single episode. You feel like it'll be done
Speaker 1: after this, is it? Actually that's a lie, because we
Speaker 1: probably need to talk about it next Tuesday, after the
Speaker 1: Union episode, but we're never doing it again. But on
Speaker 1: that note, we do like to keep these short and sharp,
Speaker 1: So why don't we jump in and sexy occasionally? Sometimes
Speaker 1: they're fart, sometimes they're sexy, sometimes they're fars. What's a
Speaker 1: question for you sexy questions? There are such thing as
Speaker 1: a sexy fart. There's definitely not a sexy far, unless
Speaker 1: that's like your kink fetish, in which case I'm sure
Speaker 1: there's someone out there who finds fart sexy. Hands down,
Speaker 1: there would be this already is weird. If you're still
Speaker 1: with us, we're going to get into the questions now,
Speaker 1: because this is going downhill fast. All right, Let's jump
Speaker 1: into the questions. Thanks to everybody who's written in questions
Speaker 1: this week, we have had loads. Britt has done the
Speaker 1: job of going through every single question and doing her
Speaker 1: best to reply to everyone, but honestly, we do get
Speaker 1: so many questions that it's not possible for Britt to
Speaker 1: get back to all of them straight away, so sometimes
Speaker 1: it takes us a little while, so we appreciate your patience.
Speaker 1: But we also really, really really appreciate you guys writing
Speaker 1: these in And if you do have any questions that
Speaker 1: you want to just share to the group and you
Speaker 1: don't feel like they need to be anonymous, please feel
Speaker 1: free to jump onto our Facebook page which is at
Speaker 1: Life Uncut Podcast because you can always ask your questions
Speaker 1: there as well. However, like I said, those questions won't
Speaker 1: be anonymous. But anyway, let's get into the questions that
Speaker 1: we've chosen for today and Brittany over to you. I
Speaker 1: just want to also add to that, even if it
Speaker 1: takes us a while to reply and it looks like
Speaker 1: we haven't seen it, we have read every single one,
Speaker 1: so we are reading them even if we haven't given
Speaker 1: you a response yet. So just know that you are seen,
Speaker 1: you are heard. Question number one, I have a straight
Speaker 1: up easy question for you. I've been dating my guy
Speaker 1: for about a year, but I've been using isolation and
Speaker 1: lockdown as a bit of a reason to not see him.
Speaker 1: I've just found myself less and less interest. I'm slowly
Speaker 1: starting to screen his calls. I don't want to talk
Speaker 1: to him as much. My question is can I dump
Speaker 1: him over text? Oh my god, girlfriend, you are fierce
Speaker 1: and I am frightened of you. Everything. My body's tingling.
Speaker 1: I'm going to straight up I like you. I'm going
Speaker 1: to straight up and say I don't think you can
Speaker 1: dump over text after a year. Look, I'm gonna say
Speaker 1: you again, you absolutely can, but it makes you a
Speaker 1: bit of an asshole, so probably don't do it. It's
Speaker 1: not the right way. Of course, you can do it
Speaker 1: if that's your question, but it's not the right way
Speaker 1: to be handled. Imagine if that was reversed and he
Speaker 1: was dumping you and you got a text text from
Speaker 1: him saying, hey, babe, like, thanks for the last year,
Speaker 1: but I'm done taking this question actually seriously as well.
Speaker 1: It's it's so dismissive, and you're not allowing that person
Speaker 1: to have the closure that they deserve by trying to
Speaker 1: break up with them over text. And the fact that
Speaker 1: you've been ignoring him, the fact that you've been stringing
Speaker 1: this out and dragging this out throughout this whole isolation period,
Speaker 1: would be making him feel crazy. And I think that's
Speaker 1: a really unfair way of treating someone. You could lead
Speaker 1: into it. You could start with the text let him
Speaker 1: know that something's on your mind, literally saying, hey, sorry,
Speaker 1: I know i've been distant recently. I've had a lot
Speaker 1: on my mind. I've been doing some thinking and I
Speaker 1: think we need to talk. You could start it like that,
Speaker 1: that we need to talk. Thing like ouch, he knows
Speaker 1: what's coming. We need to talk is another kick in
Speaker 1: the day. You know we need to talk. Is the
Speaker 1: equivalent of your dad saying I'm not mad, I'm disappointed
Speaker 1: from what you've said. He knows something is wrong. Send
Speaker 1: him the we need to talk. I've had a lot
Speaker 1: of my mind chat. He'll start to put two and
Speaker 1: two together and put the way you've been acting and
Speaker 1: feeling and the way you've been treating him over the
Speaker 1: last few months. He'll put it all together, and at
Speaker 1: least that way, it's not going to be a shock
Speaker 1: and a slap in the face, because there's nothing worse
Speaker 1: than when this happens and you haven't seen it coming.
Speaker 1: Like when it's so left field, it's almost hard up
Speaker 1: because you're like, what where did this? I thought we're
Speaker 1: fine planning our future. But when there's almost like a
Speaker 1: warm up, it makes it somewhat easier. One thing I
Speaker 1: really want to add to this, and I think is
Speaker 1: so important and I feel like we've touched on this
Speaker 1: in so many episodes recently, but I can't stress this
Speaker 1: enough during this whole crazy isolation thing, now is a
Speaker 1: time that we really need to be conscious of people's feelings.
Speaker 1: You know, right now is definitely not the time to
Speaker 1: be texting a breakup like this is the worst time
Speaker 1: for that. If anything, I think a little bit more empathy,
Speaker 1: a little bit more love, a little bit more kindness
Speaker 1: in every day in all of our relationships, is how
Speaker 1: we need to be behaving. This is really the coward's
Speaker 1: way out. The older that you get, the more you
Speaker 1: realize that you really can't treat people in such a
Speaker 1: dismissive nature. I think you really owe someone who you've
Speaker 1: given a year of your life to the closure that
Speaker 1: they deserve. And that is even if you cannot see him.
Speaker 1: Let's like hypothetically say that he's in Queensland right now
Speaker 1: and you're in Sydney, and so you've been putting this
Speaker 1: off because you can't physically get to him to have
Speaker 1: the conversation face to face. You sure, shit can't do
Speaker 1: it over text. You have to do it at least
Speaker 1: over phone or zoom or some way so that you
Speaker 1: can have as much connection with him as possible, because
Speaker 1: he deserves that. I really like to look at every
Speaker 1: single aspect of my life in a way that's treat
Speaker 1: others how you want to be treated. So if you
Speaker 1: wouldn't want to be broken up with every text, don't
Speaker 1: break up with you overtext. I think it's simple like that.
Speaker 1: How would it affect you, how would you feel, what
Speaker 1: would you want to get from it? What would you
Speaker 1: have done differently? I think they're the things that you
Speaker 1: need to think about how it would make you feel,
Speaker 1: and then apply that to your situation. Put your big
Speaker 1: girl panties on and break up with him face to face. Girlfriend,
Speaker 1: you can break up with someone in the nicest way
Speaker 1: possible and dragging this out the way that you're doing it,
Speaker 1: and by doing this over text, by ignoring him, by
Speaker 1: silencing him, by not giving him any any reasoning or
Speaker 1: understanding about the way that you're thinking or feeling that
Speaker 1: this is a really cruel way of going about a breakup.
Speaker 1: I think that's it. Bloody number two. All right, let's
Speaker 1: jump into number two. Question two. I have been cheated
Speaker 1: on in every relationship, both emotionally and physically. My question is,
Speaker 1: how can you distinguish whether your gut instinct is right
Speaker 1: or wrong. I'm always going to be fearful that any
Speaker 1: future partner is going to be cheating on me, and
Speaker 1: my automatic gut reaction is to just not trust anyone.
Speaker 1: How do I know if I'm ever making the right decision,
Speaker 1: because if I trust my gut, I just feel like
Speaker 1: I'm not going to ever meet anyone. Oh man, that sucks.
Speaker 1: It's a good one. Though. You cannot go into every
Speaker 1: relationship taking the shit from your past because not everyone
Speaker 1: is the same and not every man is going to
Speaker 1: treat you the same way. I do think that you
Speaker 1: can be cautious, and I do think that you can
Speaker 1: be sensible, and you are allowed to have I'm not
Speaker 1: saying you have a wall up, but you are allowed
Speaker 1: to have like a little bit of protection to your
Speaker 1: heart and not wear it totally on your sleeve. But
Speaker 1: the only person you're doing a disservice to by thinking
Speaker 1: that things are happening or by like really putting your
Speaker 1: walls up before you get into a relationship is yourself
Speaker 1: means you're never going to be able to find the
Speaker 1: relationship that you deserve. But not every guy is a cheater,
Speaker 1: not every girl is a cheater, and not every guy
Speaker 1: is the same. I agree. I do think you're shooting
Speaker 1: yourself in the foot by taking this old baggage, these
Speaker 1: old worries and stress and anxiety into new relationship and
Speaker 1: projecting that on him, because he will pick that up,
Speaker 1: he will feel that, and you'll never know. I guess
Speaker 1: the relationship's full potential because you've gone into it holding
Speaker 1: on to some damage from the past. As someone that
Speaker 1: has been cheated on quite a few times. Unfortunately, I
Speaker 1: don't let it affect me. I can honestly say I'm
Speaker 1: probably overly trusting with people. I do give people second chances.
Speaker 1: I don't go into a relationship thinking they're going to
Speaker 1: cheat on me because I know that I need to
Speaker 1: give that person a full, complete, utter chance to prove
Speaker 1: like I can't blame the crazy things might exit to
Speaker 1: me on someone that has nothing to do with the situation.
Speaker 1: It's completely unfair on them. It's unfair on you, and
Speaker 1: you're not giving the relationship time to blossom in itself.
Speaker 1: Maybe you need to step back a little bit from
Speaker 1: dating and ask yourself and check yourself. Are you dating
Speaker 1: the same type of guy over and over and over
Speaker 1: like ah, is the situation that you're getting yourself into
Speaker 1: and the people that you're dating doing the same thing,
Speaker 1: and is the behavior the same? Because maybe you have
Speaker 1: a type and maybe your type sucks. You need to
Speaker 1: be realistic about that. And if that's the case, then
Speaker 1: you need to start dating people who may not necessarily
Speaker 1: be the guy that you had that intense chemistry with
Speaker 1: straight away or the guy that you know ticks all
Speaker 1: the boxes in the same way that you're ex died
Speaker 1: because there could be a reason that the guys you're
Speaker 1: dating are cheating on you. It could be because you're
Speaker 1: literally going for a personality type that is not a
Speaker 1: very nice person. Yeah, the reason that they're cheating on
Speaker 1: you is not you. It's not a personal thing. It's
Speaker 1: nothing you've done, is I think I agree with Laura.
Speaker 1: It's probably that you're choosing the same type of people
Speaker 1: in the same box, in the same category, doing the
Speaker 1: same thing at the same stage of life. And I
Speaker 1: fell into that too. The best thing I ever did
Speaker 1: was jump outside the box and start to date people
Speaker 1: I never thought I would date, And I think maybe
Speaker 1: that's what I would suggest to this listener, try something new.
Speaker 1: When I think of Matt and my relationship now, if
Speaker 1: I had met Matt outside of the Bachelor French, I
Speaker 1: don't think we would have dated. Matt is such a
Speaker 1: nice guy, and he's very different in a lot of
Speaker 1: ways to a lot of the guys I've dated before,
Speaker 1: not all of them, because I have dated some great guys.
Speaker 1: It just didn't work out. But you know, I definitely
Speaker 1: had a type, and that type was pretty dysfunctional, and
Speaker 1: I think, you know, you can sort of be reflective
Speaker 1: on the choices that you're making and take some responsibility
Speaker 1: a little bit for the types of guys that you're dating.
Speaker 1: The question she's actually asking too is do I trust
Speaker 1: my gut? How do I know when to trust my gut?
Speaker 1: I'm really really big on that when your gut speaks
Speaker 1: to you and when you just feel something is wrong,
Speaker 1: but you should you should know the difference. You should
Speaker 1: be able to differentiate whether you were just imagining things
Speaker 1: because you think he's going to do it, and you're
Speaker 1: almost trying to manipulate the situation into him doing it
Speaker 1: because you're waiting for it to happen. Your gut instinct
Speaker 1: is absolutely so powerful and it has never ever ever
Speaker 1: let me down. You just can't confuse the two with
Speaker 1: pure fear. Yeah, and this is something we've talked about
Speaker 1: hates in this podcast, Like, your intuition is there for
Speaker 1: a reason. When your intuition is raging, it's your internal
Speaker 1: alarm system saying this is dangerous, something is wrong here.
Speaker 1: So if you are genuinely your intuition is what's saying, like,
Speaker 1: fucking get it a bought mission. There is a really
Speaker 1: good chance that the guy you're dating is not doing
Speaker 1: the right thing. What I think you need to be
Speaker 1: wary of is are you projecting that really early? So,
Speaker 1: for example, if you've only just started dating someone or
Speaker 1: seeing someone and you haven't defined what the relationship is,
Speaker 1: and you haven't talked about whether or not it's okay
Speaker 1: to be seeing other people, he may be dating other people.
Speaker 1: He probably is, Like most people are dating multiple people
Speaker 1: at the start. That's just how we date in twenty twenty.
Speaker 1: So if you need to have that clarification, make sure
Speaker 1: that you define their relationship before you allow yourself to
Speaker 1: get carried away. With what you're worried about, what you're
Speaker 1: thinking could possibly be happening, because if you haven't defined
Speaker 1: the relationship, then he's not cheating on you either. It's
Speaker 1: just that he's still opened seeing what's happening. So be
Speaker 1: very clear with what you want, be very clear with
Speaker 1: your boundaries, and also look at dating guys that maybe
Speaker 1: are a little bit outside your box. I want to
Speaker 1: finish this one with just remember that nothing worth having
Speaker 1: comes easy. You are going to have to climb mountains,
Speaker 1: You're gonna have to crawl through the dirt, and you're
Speaker 1: gonna have to go through a lot of rough diamonds
Speaker 1: to find your smooth diamond, and that's just how it is.
Speaker 1: So don't be weighed down by the fact that people
Speaker 1: have cheated on you in the past, and don't convince
Speaker 1: yourself that that means you're never gonna find your happy ending,
Speaker 1: because you will. Okay, I have one thing to say.
Speaker 1: That quote is like perfect and I love it so much,
Speaker 1: But I often think people confuse that with staying in
Speaker 1: shitty relationships because they're gonna work through the shit for
Speaker 1: it to get great, And I like that kills me.
Speaker 1: Like that concept kills me. Because I think if your
Speaker 1: relationship has been freaking hard work from day dot, it's
Speaker 1: never gonna get amazing. If your relationship goes up down,
Speaker 1: up down, up, down, updown, You're never ever gonna get
Speaker 1: to the point where it's like this holy grail of happiness.
Speaker 1: I think you only get back to that holy grail
Speaker 1: of happiness if you had it in the first place. Like, yes,
Speaker 1: relationships go through struggles, like we all do. We all
Speaker 1: have like our really great times, and we have sometimes
Speaker 1: that are a little bit more challenging. But good, healthy, stable
Speaker 1: relationships are not volatile. They're not up and down. They're
Speaker 1: not going to make you feel crazy, So don't convince
Speaker 1: yourself that you need to work through the shit of
Speaker 1: your current relationship. What BRIT's saying is that you can
Speaker 1: kiss a few frogs before you find whatever toads. You
Speaker 1: can kiss a few ugly foes before you find your
Speaker 1: prince charming. Like, that's what she's saying, because your prince
Speaker 1: charming will not treat you like shit over and over
Speaker 1: and over. That's just not He's not the one that
Speaker 1: ain't your soulmate, not in our fairy tale. That is
Speaker 1: not your soul your soulmate does not make you cry
Speaker 1: every day the end, unless it's third and last question. Guys,
Speaker 1: my boyfriend and I have just split up after eighteen months.
Speaker 1: He's literally moved on straight away. He's in a new
Speaker 1: relationship and he's happy, and he seemed in love. I
Speaker 1: am completely heartbroken. I'm I'm so confused to how he's
Speaker 1: gotten to where he is and I'm at home crying.
Speaker 1: What does this mean for our relationship? Doesn't mean I
Speaker 1: wasn't worthy? Does it mean he tapped out early? My
Speaker 1: feeling's not valid. I don't know how to feel. This
Speaker 1: is such a good question because I literally was having
Speaker 1: this conversation, this exact conversation really with a girlfriend on
Speaker 1: the weekend. But you chose this question, so I feel
Speaker 1: like this was a setup. What I think is really
Speaker 1: important to clarify with this is that there's a good
Speaker 1: chance that the guy is monkey branching, Like there's a
Speaker 1: really good chance that he is using his new relationship
Speaker 1: or that new person to feel feeling any pain, you know,
Speaker 1: So instead of having to sit through it and grieve
Speaker 1: through it and like actually feel the loss of a relationship,
Speaker 1: he's just going to spack fill that hole with some
Speaker 1: putty and find a new girl to spend some time
Speaker 1: with who's going to distract him from his sadness. There's
Speaker 1: a really, really good chance that that's the case. And
Speaker 1: it doesn't just because he's behaving this way and his
Speaker 1: behavior now, it doesn't invalidate the relationship. It doesn't invalidate
Speaker 1: the fact that he had feelings for you at one
Speaker 1: point in time. But regardless of his actions, the relationship
Speaker 1: has ended. And it just means that you are now
Speaker 1: entitled to do and be and live however you want
Speaker 1: to because you are You're seven. He's his own person
Speaker 1: and you're your own person. We actually had to go
Speaker 1: be your best person. We had someone writing this week
Speaker 1: actually that was similar to this situation. But on top
Speaker 1: of that, she said, I'm so mad. Do I get
Speaker 1: mad at him? Do I make his life hell? Do
Speaker 1: I tear shreds of him? Or do I move on?
Speaker 1: And I have responded to her, but I'll address it
Speaker 1: here as well, because I think it's this is all relevant.
Speaker 1: This is odd. This is a band aid relationship for him.
Speaker 1: It's it's a quick way to move on. There is
Speaker 1: a slight chance that he has checked out of the
Speaker 1: relationship previously. A lot of the time the breaker up room,
Speaker 1: it's not something that they have just woken up with
Speaker 1: that morning and said I'm going to end this today.
Speaker 1: They don't decide it on the spot. There is forethought.
Speaker 1: They've been thinking about it a long time. They've been
Speaker 1: feeling off for a long time. So for them, often
Speaker 1: they have checked out my in advance. I know when
Speaker 1: I break up with my partner in eight years, I
Speaker 1: didn't wake up one day and decide to do that.
Speaker 1: It was a really hard decision. It had been weighing
Speaker 1: on me for eight months. This girl and your friend,
Speaker 1: they were both unfortunately broken up with and dumped and
Speaker 1: they didn't see it coming. So oh no, my friend
Speaker 1: did the dumping. Oh she had the dumping, but she
Speaker 1: did the dumping because his behavior was bad. Okay, well
Speaker 1: that's fair. This girl's just been broken up with. No,
Speaker 1: she had no idea it was coming. So I think
Speaker 1: in this case, regardless of the reason, it doesn't change anything.
Speaker 1: The fact of the matter is he has moved on.
Speaker 1: It is going to tear you to shreds. To dwell
Speaker 1: on that and follow them on social media and send
Speaker 1: him messages because he's not going to write back, then
Speaker 1: you'll feel worse about yourself. I think the best thing
Speaker 1: you can do now is except that what you had
Speaker 1: is unfortunately over, learn something from it, except that that
Speaker 1: chapter is closed. That door is closed, and that there's
Speaker 1: going to be a more beautiful and a better chapter
Speaker 1: for you to open. There is no sorry, I'm still
Speaker 1: on a ramp. Yeah, go fucking go, go for I
Speaker 1: get really passionate about this. There is no time frame
Speaker 1: for you to mourn. You don't have to move on
Speaker 1: just because he did. You don't have to not feel
Speaker 1: any pain because he's not feeling pain. You feel whatever
Speaker 1: you want and you sit in it, and you make
Speaker 1: sure you sit in it properly until you are recovered,
Speaker 1: because you can't move forward and take that into your
Speaker 1: next relationship. So don't judge how you are feeling against
Speaker 1: what he's feeling. Can I talk now? Aha? Are we good?
Speaker 1: What I want? What I want to add to that
Speaker 1: is and what Britain like touched on as well is
Speaker 1: social media. This is like the devil right now, unsubscribe
Speaker 1: from him. Do not do not engage with his Instagram,
Speaker 1: do not look at his stories, do not look at
Speaker 1: his Facebook. Like you need to unfollow him on every
Speaker 1: single thing and just go no contact. And no contact
Speaker 1: doesn't mean just not not texting him. No contact means
Speaker 1: do not allow yourself to see anything that he does,
Speaker 1: because you do not need to bring that into your life.
Speaker 1: Because there's gonna be times when you're feeling happy and
Speaker 1: you're having a really good day, and then all it
Speaker 1: takes is to see a story or something where it
Speaker 1: looks like he's having an even better day and it
Speaker 1: will make you sad. So make sure that you remove
Speaker 1: that completely. And second thing I want to say is
Speaker 1: fuck him, like fuck him. Fuck him if there's a
Speaker 1: reason that you broke up with him, or there's a
Speaker 1: reason that he broke up with you. He is not
Speaker 1: your penguin. And for my girlfriend who broke up with
Speaker 1: her partner because he behaved really badly, he behaved badly
Speaker 1: when you're in a relationship with him. He's still behaving
Speaker 1: badly when you're not in a relationship with him, Like
Speaker 1: he's a shitty guy and you shouldn't be with him.
Speaker 1: And so whether or not he goes on to be
Speaker 1: super happy with someone else, I think there's always this
Speaker 1: fear that, like we're going to break up with the
Speaker 1: guy that we were was so desperately in love with
Speaker 1: and he treated us badly. But then they're going to
Speaker 1: go and be so super happy with the next person.
Speaker 1: Trust me, they don't. They continue the same shitty behavior
Speaker 1: with the next person. Think people just jump from one
Speaker 1: relationship and become a completely different, a completely resolved, and
Speaker 1: better person. It rarely happens. Well, that's it for today.
Speaker 1: Three questions. That's it. That's all there's time for because
Speaker 1: it's time for wine. Thank you so much for writing
Speaker 1: in again. We absolutely love it. Keep the questions coming,
Speaker 1: just title them at the top, ask uncut, so that
Speaker 1: we do know what it is and I can differentiate
Speaker 1: it from all the other messages. I know that every
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