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Speaker 1: Hello.

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Speaker 2: My name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud Order Order

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Speaker 2: Kerney Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we get

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Speaker 2: started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like

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Speaker 2: to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which

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Speaker 2: this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging the elders,

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Speaker 2: the ancestors and the next generation coming through as this

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Speaker 2: podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling

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Speaker 2: of you to make a difference for today and lasting

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Speaker 2: impact for tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: Let's get into it.

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Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.

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Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast

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Speaker 1: for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another

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Speaker 1: one of our money daries, where I get the absolute

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Speaker 1: pleasure of talking to one of our She's on the

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Speaker 1: Money community members all about their journey. Let's jump straight

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Speaker 1: into it, because this week we got a message and

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Speaker 1: it sounded exactly like this, Hello, She's on the Money.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to share my story on escaping financial abuse.

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Speaker 1: My parents controlled my finances from a young age, which

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Speaker 1: caused me so much shame and led me to hide

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Speaker 1: it from my partner, friends and work colleagues. I felt

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Speaker 1: so much guilt and had no control. It resulted in

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Speaker 1: me going into mountains of debt, my own finances and

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Speaker 1: Bill's falling short, and my own children suffering the consequences.

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Speaker 1: It's been about a year since I've regained control, and

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Speaker 1: although my credit score has taken a hit, I'm down

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Speaker 1: to one debt. I've just had a baby in January,

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Speaker 1: and I've been able to save for my first family holiday.

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Speaker 1: I'm now saving for my first first home. My mental

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Speaker 1: and emotional health is the thriving, and my family is

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Speaker 1: never missing out. As you guys can tell from this

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Speaker 1: money story, I do want to drop before we get

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Speaker 1: into it, a little bit of a content warning. So

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Speaker 1: in this episode, we are discussing financial abuse that intertwines

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Speaker 1: a lot with other types of abuse. Now we don't

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Speaker 1: go into too much detail on that, but we do

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Speaker 1: definitely discuss in I would say a fair bit of

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Speaker 1: detail financial abuse. So to make sure that everyone is

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Speaker 1: well supported, I've put a whole heap of links in

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Speaker 1: the show notes. And if this is an episode that

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Speaker 1: you just feel is not for you today, that is

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Speaker 1: so fine. We will see you on the next episode

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Speaker 1: of Money Diaries. And there is a plethora of She's

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Speaker 1: on the money content out there that you can dive

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Speaker 1: into right now. So let's welcome our money diarist to

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Speaker 1: the show. Money Diarist, Thank you for wanting to share

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Speaker 1: your story with us.

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Speaker 3: My goodness, thank you so much. I'm so excited to

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Speaker 3: share this part of my journey with you.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it's a deep one. Can we dive

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Speaker 1: a bit more into it? My first question before we

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Speaker 1: get further in, though, is always money dost. Would you

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Speaker 1: rate your money habits if I asked you to give

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Speaker 1: them a grade from A through to F.

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Speaker 3: At the moment, it would definitely be a C plus.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I'm at such a pivotal point in

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Speaker 3: my money journey. This is someone who I guess was

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Speaker 3: constantly running behind every week. I owed a week a

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Speaker 3: week in advance all the time. So I lived my

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Speaker 3: life in reverse for quite a few years. And I'm

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Speaker 3: finally getting that concept of money, credit score, savings, emergency fund,

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Speaker 3: all of those sorts of things. Oh my god, I

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Speaker 3: want to say a C plus.

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Speaker 1: All right, all right, let's take the C plus. I

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Speaker 1: want to dive into it. I know for some people

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Speaker 1: this could be a little bit heavy, but I want

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Speaker 1: to know. Can you tell me a little bit more

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Speaker 1: about your money story?

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Speaker 3: Okay, so my money story. It's a little bit sad,

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Speaker 3: to be honest. My very first memories of money and

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Speaker 3: like my first jobs, being thirteen or fourteen, was a

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Speaker 3: lot of my paycheck going directly to my family, especially

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Speaker 3: times around like Christmas, Easter. I come from a huge family.

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Speaker 3: There was seven of us, so every birthday, every Mother's Day,

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Speaker 3: Father's Day, I was sort of given the torch to

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Speaker 3: pay for those things.

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Speaker 1: It's very sad that all your first memories are that

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Speaker 1: your money just went straight to other people instead of you.

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Speaker 1: But like, how did that start? How did that work?

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Speaker 1: Like was in an expectation from the second you got

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Speaker 1: a job that you were going to work and the

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Speaker 1: money was coming to them? Like was this something that

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Speaker 1: was I guess intertwined into the conversations you had when

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Speaker 1: you were little, Like I've just I've got so many questions.

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Speaker 1: I hope I'm not overstepping.

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Speaker 3: No, absolutely, you're not overstepping at all. The hindsight and

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Speaker 3: now that I feel like my frontal lobe has developed.

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Speaker 3: As children, we really want to impress, and I guess

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Speaker 3: get that attention from our family members, and it was

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Speaker 3: almost like when I first started doing it, I was

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Speaker 3: so proud that I was helping my family, like it

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Speaker 3: was this badge on my chest. I thought it was amazing,

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Speaker 3: and I think I thought internally that this is going

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Speaker 3: to fix all our problems. Unfortunately, when it comes to

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Speaker 3: financial abuse, it is a form of family and domestic violence,

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Speaker 3: and more often than not, it can intertwine with other

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Speaker 3: types of abuse as well. So we were always sort

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Speaker 3: of made to feel that everything was our fault and

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Speaker 3: it was our fault that we were struggling. It was

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Speaker 3: our fault we didn't get that shiny thing. Anything that

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Speaker 3: was going wrong was always put onto the children. So

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Speaker 3: I guess to combat that, I thought I was helping

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Speaker 3: them by giving them bits of money. And it would

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Speaker 3: have been my first and my earliest memory of like, oh,

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Speaker 3: this isn't quite right would be taking my siblings out

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Speaker 3: to the shopping center we bought gifts for my mom

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Speaker 3: and dad around Christmas time. All the kids bought a gift.

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Speaker 3: There would have been four other children, including myself, and

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Speaker 3: bringing that home and having them like just kick off,

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Speaker 3: call me ungrateful and demand things for themselves, for all

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Speaker 3: of the children, for my grandparents, for my uncle's nieces,

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Speaker 3: things like that. And then I started to realize, oh,

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Speaker 3: it's an expectation that I buy and spend my entire

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Speaker 3: paycheck on everyone.

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Speaker 1: That's wild to me. And this wasn't just you. So

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Speaker 1: I'm just trying to learn a little bit about your

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Speaker 1: family dynamics. So there was five kids, and for all

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Speaker 1: of you, when you got your first jobs, was that

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Speaker 1: contributing to the family or was that you know, oh,

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Speaker 1: you just copped it, or like.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I definitely felt like I copped the brunt of it.

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Speaker 3: I was the eldest, and I guess the responsibility pushed

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Speaker 3: on me was if we die tomorrow, it's going to

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Speaker 3: be your fault that the kids don't get Christmas. So

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Speaker 3: there's a good I'm a good decade older than my siblings,

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Speaker 3: so they would have only been small children when we're

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Speaker 3: walking around the shopping center and buying things, and yeah,

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Speaker 3: I would spend it was almost like every time I

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Speaker 3: saved up for my first car, all of that money

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Speaker 3: would go towards my family and that would go on

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Speaker 3: for years.

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Speaker 1: Wow, And learning a little bit more about your parents.

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Speaker 1: What type of jobs did they have, Like what types

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Speaker 1: of income were they bringing into the house.

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Speaker 3: I constantly remember my parents being unemployed and being very

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Speaker 3: like used to that, so they didn't have a job,

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Speaker 3: And maybe that's why I worked so hard. I always

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Speaker 3: worked two or three jobs in school. I was always

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Speaker 3: working because I saw how much we suffered living off benefits.

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Speaker 1: And is that something that was kind of I guess generational.

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Speaker 1: Often you see when you know a family does have

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Speaker 1: an unemployed mum and dad, that often is a generational

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Speaker 1: trait because I feel like work ethic is often inherited,

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Speaker 1: like you learn from example, right, Like, and I'm going

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Speaker 1: to get into it, but I'm assuming it's been a

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Speaker 1: lot of work for you to get into this mindset

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Speaker 1: of like, no, I'm going to do something completely different,

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Speaker 1: because yeah, changing from where you've come from is so

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Speaker 1: hard because even though it's really awful, like that sounds terrible,

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Speaker 1: and like you have touched lightly on the fact that

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Speaker 1: financial abuse is often intertwined with other types of abuse,

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Speaker 1: and we might touch on that a little bit later,

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Speaker 1: but it's one of those things where even though that's

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Speaker 1: the case, change is not what humans crave and so

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Speaker 1: that's why so many people stay in positions like this

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Speaker 1: for a long period of time, because it's like, well,

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Speaker 1: I have been told that the grass is greener, but

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Speaker 1: like I don't know that for sure, so like, maybe

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Speaker 1: I'll just do what I've always done. So tell me, obviously,

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Speaker 1: this is just what you grew up with. Was that intergenerational?

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Speaker 1: And like, then tell me a little bit about the

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Speaker 1: change and why you knew you needed to make that.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I could say generational and maybe even cultural. So

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Speaker 3: I am from me and I'm gonna be careful how

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Speaker 3: I say this, But it's very common in Polynesian culture

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Speaker 3: to send money back to the Islands or send money

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Speaker 3: back to New Zealand because it's a hard life overseas.

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Speaker 3: And I feel like that's slowly trickled onto me. My parents.

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Speaker 3: I don't know a lot about one side of my grandparents,

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Speaker 3: but the other side I know were in it was

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Speaker 3: just extreme levels of poverty, and both of my parents

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Speaker 3: came from extreme levels of poverty. That's probably the best

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Speaker 3: way I could describe.

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Speaker 1: Right, I know that makes sense, And I guess that's

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Speaker 1: where like I get a little bit I want to

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Speaker 1: say pervy, but like I'm often interested when having these conversations,

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Speaker 1: is like, well, where has this stemmed from? Because I

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Speaker 1: don't believe that many people wake up one day from

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Speaker 1: their you know, nine to five Monday to Friday jobs

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Speaker 1: and go, hi, husband, I would really like to not

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Speaker 1: be employed anymore, and you both just quit your jobs

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Speaker 1: and that becomes the lifestyle you live, like usually it's

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Speaker 1: quite ingrained. And then having lots of siblings, there's obviously

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Speaker 1: a massive age difference between you and your siblings. Yes,

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Speaker 1: like how did that come to fruition? And like did

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Speaker 1: that play into it? Was the decision to not have

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Speaker 1: more kids immediately after you financial.

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Speaker 3: So I think from so like there's myself and another sibling,

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Speaker 3: we're incredibly close in age, and then there's a ten

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Speaker 3: year age gap when we grew up. I do remember

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Speaker 3: both of my parents working. They would go to have

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Speaker 3: three more children in like two or three years, but

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Speaker 3: as I said, it's that big ten year age gap,

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Speaker 3: and I just remember they stopped working, Like I have

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Speaker 3: memories with my parents not working for decades, like and

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Speaker 3: we were struggling, Like I remember, you know, standing in

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Speaker 3: line at like the Salvos or Saint Vincent's or like

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Speaker 3: the churches and things like that to get groceries. And yeah,

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Speaker 3: we were just always sort of struggling. And I think

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Speaker 3: my mom made the decision to be a stay at

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Speaker 3: home mom. And I think it could have been a

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Speaker 3: mental health card honestly from in hindsight that maybe they

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Speaker 3: thought they couldn't work. I think it had to do

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Speaker 3: with their overall mental wellness and health as well.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, and like all of that makes sense, and

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Speaker 1: like I'm not here to judge anyone's decision. I'm just

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Speaker 1: here to learn a little bit more about you and

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Speaker 1: share this story of yours so that we can hopefully

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Speaker 1: stop other people going through this. Yeah, having grown up

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Speaker 1: going to the elbows and you know, having I guess

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Speaker 1: to seek support from other places to just put food

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Speaker 1: on the table. How does that change your mindset? What

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Speaker 1: does that mean for you? Not just today but growing up? Like,

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Speaker 1: how did you see it? Was that the culture that

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Speaker 1: you grew up in? Was everybody around you doing that?

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Speaker 1: Or is that you're the outlier at school? Or tell

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Speaker 1: me a bit more about that.

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Speaker 3: Definitely, Like in our street there was there were two families.

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Speaker 3: I remember there was eight kids on one side and

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Speaker 3: another five kids on the other side, and they were

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Speaker 3: going through exactly what we were going through, so they

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Speaker 3: were struggling as well, and I guess that's where we

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Speaker 3: sort of looked out for each other. Like I remember

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Speaker 3: sometimes they'd drop groceries to our door, or like we'd

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Speaker 3: invite them in for dinner, things like that. But when

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Speaker 3: I really sort of look back at it, it was

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Speaker 3: quite confronting. I remember being maybe seven or eight years

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Speaker 3: old and my dad sort of sitting me and my

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Speaker 3: brother down and just saying that Christmas isn't real. You're

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Speaker 3: not going to get anything this year. You know, this

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Speaker 3: needs to go to the other children. And he just

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Speaker 3: always sort of ingrained that into us, and I guess

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Speaker 3: that's what holidays look to us. So it was Easter

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Speaker 3: is coming up, it's about the younger kids so they

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Speaker 3: don't miss out, but also not being able to process

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Speaker 3: that we were children too.

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Speaker 1: A baby you're just you know, you're just a baby

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Speaker 1: being forced to grow up.

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Speaker 3: Like I think it was that just feeling of oh,

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Speaker 3: my goodness, like we've got to take because those young kids,

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Speaker 3: you know, they can't miss out, but actually realizing that

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Speaker 3: maybe our parents had a bit of favoritism towards the children,

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Speaker 3: and I just think they didn't know how to handle

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Speaker 3: that very well. So it was very like, you know,

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Speaker 3: Christmas is coming around, We've got some money, and it was, look,

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Speaker 3: can you think about us, we need to put food

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Speaker 3: on the things like that, and always having to give

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Speaker 3: and give and give.

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Speaker 1: What would have happened if you'd said no, like I

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Speaker 1: worked for this money, I don't want to give it up,

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Speaker 1: like obviously no, you would.

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Speaker 3: Not look definitely like we would be punished. It is

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Speaker 3: the best way to describe that.

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Speaker 1: That's just not an option. Like you were going to

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Speaker 1: work and you were bringing that money back and it

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Speaker 1: was definitely for the family, no questions asked, and.

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Speaker 3: Especially around like as I said, being thirteen or fourteen

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Speaker 3: and thinking I was doing the right thing by rewarding

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Speaker 3: my parents because they worked so hard for it. That

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Speaker 3: was my mindset as a child, and just being punished

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Speaker 3: for it, like it was so dramatic. It was like

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Speaker 3: something you'd see on a TV show where the mom's

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Speaker 3: like throwing stuff down the stairs, kicking over the Christmas tree,

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Speaker 3: you know, lots of swearing, lots of like it would

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Speaker 3: turn into a fight. Sometimes it would get physical and

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Speaker 3: just crying, like just watching, just crying, being like, oh

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Speaker 3: my goodness, nothing is enough. And instead of going like

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Speaker 3: what's wrong with my parents, I'd go, I've got to

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Speaker 3: work harder. I'm going to get that approval. I'm going

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Speaker 3: to get that.

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Speaker 1: And that's the cycle of abuse for you in a

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Speaker 1: like and I won't say in a nutshell, but like

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Speaker 1: in a very good example, because you know, as an outsider,

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Speaker 1: and this is what frustrates me. People look in and go, well,

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Speaker 1: why wouldn't you just push back or why wouldn't you

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Speaker 1: just leave?

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Speaker 3: Like you don't know anything different?

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Speaker 1: But it's not even that you don't know different, Like

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Speaker 1: your mindset is I deserved that, Like, you're right, I

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Speaker 1: should have worked harder. I should have done something different,

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Speaker 1: Like oh my god, Mum was so angry at me

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Speaker 1: because I just I messed up far out. Your mindset

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Speaker 1: is not where someone who's been in a healthy environment

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Speaker 1: has been, because you've never known the healthy environment. And

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Speaker 1: I think that's what's so heartbreaking about this is you

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Speaker 1: just don't know what you don't know. And we say

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Speaker 1: this all the time, and she's on the money, like

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Speaker 1: you know, whether it's about investing or it's about saving

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Speaker 1: or it's about financial abuse, Like you cannot look at

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Speaker 1: someone else's situation and then give advice and say, well,

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Speaker 1: this is what I would do different because that would work.

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Speaker 1: That's not gonna work, Like that's not how it works.

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Speaker 1: Like I wish I could like wave a magic wand

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Speaker 1: and be like, well, actually this is what would fix it.

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Speaker 1: And it's just trauma, like that is so ingrained that

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Speaker 1: it would have taken you years to even come to

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Speaker 1: the I guess conclusion that that wasn't okay, so literally

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Speaker 1: talking less about what had happened. Tell me more, Now,

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Speaker 1: when did you start to realize that mum maybe throwing

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Speaker 1: things down the stairs was not the way that other

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Speaker 1: mums were parenting, Like when did you realize that was

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Speaker 1: maybe not how it worked?

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Speaker 3: Goodness? If I'm being completely honest, I would have been

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Speaker 3: about nineteen when I met my current partner, current fiance,

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Speaker 3: Like it's gonna keep the father of my children's so cute.

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Speaker 3: You were just babies and he had a beautiful two

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Speaker 3: year old, and I just remember there was something that

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Speaker 3: he did, like as as kids do. He threw something,

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Speaker 3: he broke something, and I just remember looking and going,

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Speaker 3: I'm not going to yell at him. I'm not going

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Speaker 3: to turn this into a fight, like it was very

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Speaker 3: clearly an accident. And that was just like this overwhelming,

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Speaker 3: like my brain shutting down, like how could they treat

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Speaker 3: people like that? That was my like, whoa, this is

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Speaker 3: how you're meant to be treated. This is I'd never

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Speaker 3: do that to my children. I just didn't have it

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Speaker 3: in me to be so aggressive or angry towards this child.

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Speaker 3: And that was like the WHOA, how long has this

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Speaker 3: been happening for?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's a slippery and very confronting slope. So

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Speaker 1: tell me a bit more about Obviously that moment happened,

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Speaker 1: and then what then were you reflecting on your situation

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Speaker 1: or did you bury it and go I don't want

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Speaker 1: to think about this, Like there was.

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Speaker 3: One more moment and like this has only just come

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Speaker 3: up now. I didn't need to think of it until

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Speaker 3: right now. My eighteenth birthday, I remember my dad took

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Speaker 3: me to the pub, and my birthdays in January, so

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Speaker 3: straight after Christmas and that's my birthday. I usually missed

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Speaker 3: out on birthdays and things like that. That's just sort

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Speaker 3: of how it was. And I remember being eighteen, I

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Speaker 3: had just paid for Christmas. I spent months of everything

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Speaker 3: I was earning as an apprentice, so like maybe two

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Speaker 3: hundred and fifty three hundred dollars a week towards my

337
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Speaker 3: family and extended family, so it looked very vibrant and

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Speaker 3: things like that. Towards Christmas, we had a sun room

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Speaker 3: full of gifts and I would have spent thousands. And

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Speaker 3: I remember we went to I guess the Pokey Room,

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Speaker 3: and I remember watching my parents and I'm counting the

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Speaker 3: money put around five thousand dollars into this massione, and

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Speaker 3: I remember I kept tapping my dad and my mom

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Speaker 3: like come on, we should take this out, and we

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Speaker 3: should go home. We should take this, we should go home,

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Speaker 3: and not actually like being able to process what had happened.

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Speaker 3: And we stayed there from like I remember knocking off

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Speaker 3: at four o'clock. We got there at five, and we

349
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Speaker 3: were there till four o'clock the next morning. Oh my god,

350
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Speaker 3: And they were winning these ridiculous amounts, like majors and

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Speaker 3: all of these like lots of lives, lots of money,

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Speaker 3: and they just put it back in there. And I

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Speaker 3: just remember thinking, like, oh my god, I didn't pack

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Speaker 3: lunch this week you know, there was nothing in the cupboard.

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Speaker 3: I bought a loaf of bread and had to live

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Speaker 3: off it, and there was five thousand dollars into this machine.

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Speaker 3: And it was so confronting at that time and just

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Speaker 3: being like, Oh my god, it's not my fault. None

359
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Speaker 3: of this situation, none of like the poverty we were

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Speaker 3: going through, None of that was my decision. That was

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Speaker 3: my parents' decision.

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Speaker 1: And you're just watching them choose for hours on end

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Speaker 1: to not step up and to just waste it like

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Speaker 1: that would have been. How were you feeling after that,

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Speaker 1: because I'm assuming with the dynamic that you had in

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Speaker 1: your family, that confrontation was probably not the way you

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Speaker 1: dealt with that.

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Speaker 3: I would confront them. It was a huge fight. I

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Speaker 3: remember walking home crying and then walking to I guess

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Speaker 3: my boyfriend at the time, and sort of telling him

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Speaker 3: what had happened, and then just having to quickly put

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Speaker 3: together and go to work and just crying my whole shift,

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Speaker 3: Like it was so confronting. I couldn't stop sobbing. I

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Speaker 3: was a mess.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, my heart. And so I guess those

376
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:40,959
Speaker 1: situations and those experiences showed you that maybe that's not

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Speaker 1: what you wanted to be moving forward? What did you do?

378
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,800
Speaker 1: How did you? Like, I know that you're now twenty

379
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Speaker 1: three and you're out on the other side, but like,

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Speaker 1: what did twenty five? Oh twenty five? Oh yeah, your

381
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:57,720
Speaker 1: parents were part of that until twenty three. Sorry. Yes,

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Speaker 1: So you get to twenty three and you're trying to

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Speaker 1: change your life, Like, what were those steps like? Because

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Speaker 1: that's hard.

385
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Speaker 3: It was incredibly difficult. But you know, at this stage,

386
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Speaker 3: you know, I had been with my partner for four years,

387
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Speaker 3: and our Christmas was still like buying these ridiculous luxury gifts,

388
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Speaker 3: like I remember my father asking for five thousand dollar

389
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Speaker 3: like Gucci sonnies, and my mom asking for like designer

390
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Speaker 3: handbags and like dult Changer barn and makeup and just

391
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:41,400
Speaker 3: these ridiculous, expensive, luxurious, glamorous gifts.

392
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Speaker 1: That were not in line with their income at all,

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Speaker 1: like or in line with the lifestyle that they were living.

394
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Speaker 1: Like it's heartbreaking to see how their values were being

395
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Speaker 1: I want to say, portrayed when they had children and responsibilities.

396
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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a perfect way to describe my household. They

397
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:05,320
Speaker 3: are struggling to pay rent, they're scared that, you know,

398
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:08,000
Speaker 3: the cost of living all of these sorts of things,

399
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 3: but they still have a BMW parked on the front. Yeah,

400
00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:16,639
Speaker 3: and like a brand new Prato that they've just spent

401
00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:22,200
Speaker 3: you know, fifty thousand dollars on. So their priorities around money,

402
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:25,120
Speaker 3: it's not linear in any way.

403
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Speaker 1: Gosh, And do you know what when people are so deep,

404
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:31,960
Speaker 1: the unfortunate thing is you're going to have to pull

405
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:35,359
Speaker 1: yourself out of that because more often than not, they're

406
00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:38,359
Speaker 1: not going to change, like that's not something that they're

407
00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:41,720
Speaker 1: going to go. Well, actually, money derest We started listening

408
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:43,960
Speaker 1: to this podcast and we want to change, like these

409
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:49,360
Speaker 1: things are often so deeply rooted that change is very,

410
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:52,560
Speaker 1: very very uncommon. And that's where we see lots of

411
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:57,000
Speaker 1: people in our community having these conversations about their parents

412
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Speaker 1: and going, well, that's not who I want to be,

413
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Speaker 1: that's not what I want my narrative to look like.

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Speaker 3: And I definitely remember like thinking like could I accept

415
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:11,920
Speaker 3: this behavior because anything that's not changing I'm accepting. I'm

416
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,960
Speaker 3: allowing my children to see them treat me like that,

417
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:19,199
Speaker 3: I'm allowing myself to be treated like that. And it's like,

418
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Speaker 3: what's too far? Because there's no boundaries anymore boundaries don't

419
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:28,000
Speaker 3: exist in this household? What are the next steps? And

420
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:32,080
Speaker 3: the perfect way to describe it is decisions were often

421
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:36,960
Speaker 3: made without any of my input around my finances. I

422
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:40,680
Speaker 3: would end up getting a really good corporate job, and

423
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:44,280
Speaker 3: I started at like an apprentice sort of mechanic level,

424
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:50,000
Speaker 3: and I grew into a salesperson and then eventually to

425
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Speaker 3: a business manager slash advisor to the directors of the company.

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Speaker 1: Wow, how good is that? Look at you glow?

427
00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:02,359
Speaker 3: It was at the time and as you just said,

428
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:06,480
Speaker 3: like wow, what an amazing opportunity. But what my I

429
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:10,880
Speaker 3: guess direct family and friends started to see that was okay,

430
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 3: well this she's in charge of this mechanical business. And

431
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,360
Speaker 3: that's where I'd start to get that thousands and thousands

432
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,679
Speaker 3: of dollars worth of debt because it was just a

433
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:23,960
Speaker 3: drive through for them. They would drop their cars, they

434
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,960
Speaker 3: were you know, abuse staff members. They would expect it

435
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 3: to be done. I would get like twenty missed phone calls.

436
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:33,200
Speaker 3: They would call the office, they would send text messages

437
00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:37,399
Speaker 3: like my it was so out of control all the time.

438
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:40,439
Speaker 1: And how did you feel about Like if that was

439
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 1: just you know, spitballing here, if that was my family.

440
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:46,520
Speaker 1: I'd be mortified, like is that what you're going to

441
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:47,480
Speaker 1: work and just being.

442
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:52,480
Speaker 3: Like oh no, like literally and like almost losing my

443
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:55,160
Speaker 3: job that I had worked. This was my dream job.

444
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:58,280
Speaker 3: I had worked so hard to get here, being in

445
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:01,119
Speaker 3: a male dominated field and getting to the position I

446
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:01,560
Speaker 3: was at.

447
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:04,600
Speaker 1: You're killing it and having the rest of your family

448
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:06,159
Speaker 1: take the mickey, what the hell?

449
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:11,240
Speaker 3: Yes? And there was a really hard conversation with the

450
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:15,399
Speaker 3: directors because they're obviously opening up these accounts and I

451
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:17,960
Speaker 3: had to start paying for these accounts, and I guess

452
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 3: feeling so trapped, helpless and this huge amount of shame.

453
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:26,280
Speaker 3: I couldn't say to them, please stop accepting my parents.

454
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,960
Speaker 3: I don't want to pay those you know, I never

455
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 3: agree to this. I didn't say, hey, I've got their card,

456
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 3: I've got their tab, I've got it. It was just

457
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:37,879
Speaker 3: assumed that I would take care of it.

458
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it was hard.

459
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:40,680
Speaker 3: It was really really hard.

460
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:43,560
Speaker 1: So talk to me about the turning point you decided

461
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:47,159
Speaker 1: this life isn't for me. What did that look like?

462
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:51,960
Speaker 3: Oh? I think there were two pivotal moments. I would

463
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:55,439
Speaker 3: end up leaving this position to a job that was

464
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:59,480
Speaker 3: closer to home, and I had only been there a

465
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:02,639
Speaker 3: couple of weeks, and I got in this phone call

466
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:08,840
Speaker 3: that the BMW has broken down, and I went, all,

467
00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:11,399
Speaker 3: I'm at work. I'm still in pro like, I really

468
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:16,400
Speaker 3: can't just leave right now, and I was forced to leave.

469
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:20,960
Speaker 3: During this point. As I was forced to leave, I've

470
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,320
Speaker 3: gone into Berson, I've had a quick look at the car.

471
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:25,440
Speaker 3: I've grabbed the oil, I've grabbed the cool and I've

472
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 3: grabbed a couple of tools. I grabbed like a jumpstarter

473
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,040
Speaker 3: I had in my ute, and we tried to get

474
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 3: this car going. It was very clear from the quick

475
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:38,400
Speaker 3: diagnosis I've done, I'm like, your engine's gone and it's

476
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,159
Speaker 3: the ECU and I can't fix this. It's not just

477
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:43,159
Speaker 3: a quick fix. You're going to have to take this

478
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:47,400
Speaker 3: to a specialist because they have specific computers for this.

479
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,760
Speaker 3: And I'd already spent half my day trying to get

480
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:54,880
Speaker 3: this car going. We eventually got it going. I've taken

481
00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:59,919
Speaker 3: it to this luxury BMW sort of dealership that special

482
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:03,879
Speaker 3: with these cars, and the bill got handed to me,

483
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:06,320
Speaker 3: and I guess I just kept getting phone calls from

484
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:10,520
Speaker 3: both of my parents. They started calling like my work number,

485
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:15,040
Speaker 3: and again it was almost like PTSD from the last position,

486
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:18,800
Speaker 3: being dragged into the office and like having a stern

487
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:21,639
Speaker 3: talking to like what are you doing? You're here to work,

488
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 3: You've spent this many hours on the phone. And I

489
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:30,520
Speaker 3: would end up paying nearly eight hundred dollars to get

490
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:34,920
Speaker 3: this car out for them. The engine needed to be rebuilt,

491
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,200
Speaker 3: and they thought I would just cover the fifteen thousand

492
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 3: dollars to have this engine rebuilt.

493
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:43,720
Speaker 1: My god, like but why why would you just cover that?

494
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:47,280
Speaker 3: And like really just thinking about like none of my

495
00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 3: cars cost fifteen grand, by the way, Like I had

496
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:52,040
Speaker 3: all of these cars under ten grand, and I'm like,

497
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:57,639
Speaker 3: wait what. And during that time I was borrowing my

498
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:01,120
Speaker 3: partner's car. They had taken my car and I could

499
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,840
Speaker 3: hear the way they were driving it and it was

500
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:06,520
Speaker 3: so and it's an older model high LIKEX okay, this

501
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:09,360
Speaker 3: car is older than me. And I could hear them

502
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 3: revving it and like slamming the brakes and they're like

503
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 3: you need to pay, and like the fight that I

504
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,040
Speaker 3: would have with them, and I'm like, oh my goodness,

505
00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 3: they're telling me they're going to write off my partner's car.

506
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:24,919
Speaker 3: Who doesn't know that I've just given this car for

507
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:26,280
Speaker 3: them to quickly borrow.

508
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:28,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, and your partner had no idea that any of

509
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:30,720
Speaker 1: this was no right, Oh.

510
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:33,720
Speaker 3: My goodness, no idean. And I've had to like obviously

511
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:36,560
Speaker 3: call him. I've walked to this dealership that was like

512
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:38,960
Speaker 3: on the other side of town to pick up this

513
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:43,040
Speaker 3: BMW and just being so cautious. So I ended up

514
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:47,200
Speaker 3: paying the repairs that they had done and I had gone.

515
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 3: You know, I'm still getting yelled down the phone. I'm

516
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:52,280
Speaker 3: usually really chill and easy going, so I'm like, oh, okay,

517
00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:54,480
Speaker 3: I understand, Yes, yes, I was a bit of a

518
00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:58,000
Speaker 3: yes man, and they had my partner's car, and having

519
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:02,160
Speaker 3: to get on the phone to my pr explain what

520
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 3: I'm hysterical. I'm just mortified. He loves this car more

521
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:09,560
Speaker 3: than anything. He drinks his coffee every morning and stares

522
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:11,080
Speaker 3: at this highlux He loves this.

523
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:14,880
Speaker 1: Am I love you love their stuff, I really do.

524
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:18,000
Speaker 3: You just know they're grateful for what they have, Like

525
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:20,680
Speaker 3: there's just something so special about that. He could win

526
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:23,840
Speaker 3: the lotto tomorrow and he would still have this car.

527
00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 3: He loves this thing. Oh my god, that would just

528
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 3: stress me out. And he was so calm. He cuddles me,

529
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:33,080
Speaker 3: and he goes, sweetheart, it's just a car, and I'm

530
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:36,320
Speaker 3: sorry your parents are doing this, Like he had no anger,

531
00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:38,440
Speaker 3: no resentment.

532
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,480
Speaker 1: And was that the moment that you were like, I

533
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 1: know I need to mar no, no, no, I know

534
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 1: I need to marry this man that too, because I

535
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:46,920
Speaker 1: would have been like, I think I might marry this.

536
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 1: You are the father of my children. I don't know

537
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:51,840
Speaker 1: if you know this, but.

538
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 3: Literally and just being so mortified, like, oh my god,

539
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:57,320
Speaker 3: you know my parents. I don't know if my parents

540
00:29:57,320 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 3: have ridden off your car at all, because I just

541
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:04,560
Speaker 3: refuse to. They're fifteen thousand engineery belt and my partner going.

542
00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 3: And I think it was also his mindset, like, sweetheart,

543
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:10,320
Speaker 3: it's just a car. You know, we get another one,

544
00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:14,240
Speaker 3: Like it's all right, you know, it's old anyway, like

545
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 3: being so calm and collected about the whole situation. And

546
00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 3: I guess just maybe it is the grass is greener

547
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 3: with him and being able to see that, you know,

548
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:28,280
Speaker 3: when accidents and all these crazy sort of narratives happen

549
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:33,160
Speaker 3: doesn't prompt a response for violence. And that was my

550
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:37,400
Speaker 3: big like, oh my goodness, that's not change.

551
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:40,800
Speaker 1: Yeah wow, And so what did change look like?

552
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,440
Speaker 3: So for me, I did end up moving out of

553
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 3: my parents' house. That was a big one, and I

554
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:52,200
Speaker 3: remember just blocking or like turning my phone off.

555
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 1: I just feel like that's a bigger thing than just

556
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:58,479
Speaker 1: moving out though, Like you're moving out of this situation, Like,

557
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 1: how'd you tell them? How did they respond? Like? What

558
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:05,120
Speaker 1: did that look like? Because I feel like in those

559
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:08,640
Speaker 1: situations they had from what I have learned, they had

560
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:12,920
Speaker 1: coercive control over you. So the second that you said

561
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 1: I'm actually leaving this situation, they would have felt out

562
00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 1: of control completely, as you're no longer theirs to tell

563
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:22,280
Speaker 1: what to do, to use your money to do all

564
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 1: of these things. And I'm sure that that stayed for

565
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:29,600
Speaker 1: a little bit, but I'm assuming that that's the case.

566
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:31,640
Speaker 1: So how did they respond when you said, by the way,

567
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 1: I'm leaving.

568
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:36,200
Speaker 3: At the time, it was really supportive, but it would

569
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:38,760
Speaker 3: be later on. And at this point I started to

570
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:41,680
Speaker 3: get some help because there is and it's so underrated,

571
00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:44,960
Speaker 3: there are so many free resources out there, and I

572
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 3: had no idea, and I started to pick up on

573
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:52,200
Speaker 3: behavior patterns and if I didn't respond to them, say

574
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:55,520
Speaker 3: within a couple of hours or that sort of thing.

575
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:59,120
Speaker 3: There would be this huge, like triggering message that you'd

576
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 3: respond to, and I slowly started to realize that that

577
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:05,520
Speaker 3: was a pattern of behavior that if they weren't getting

578
00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 3: what they wanted, it had to be this huge blow up,

579
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:13,640
Speaker 3: you know, like, oh my god, XYZ is happening, like,

580
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 3: oh my goodness, Grandma, like someone think about Grandma pop,

581
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:20,760
Speaker 3: you know, or my own mental health, like whatever it

582
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:25,080
Speaker 3: was to get that reaction out of me, and you

583
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:30,760
Speaker 3: would slowly start to figure those little things out. Eventually,

584
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:35,480
Speaker 3: I wouldn't say it stopped, but I just blocked what

585
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 3: I didn't want to see. So I deactivated like my

586
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:43,520
Speaker 3: Facebook and Messenger because that was like their direct portal

587
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:47,280
Speaker 3: to me. Yeah. I just downed the screen time and

588
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 3: downed ways for them to see me. So sometimes they

589
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 3: were pretty notorious for just randomly showing up. Wow, but

590
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 3: just sort of like, you know, my partner would calmly

591
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:01,600
Speaker 3: open the door, Sorry she's home, and oh can we

592
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 3: come in? No, mate, sorry, and just having that support network.

593
00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:08,239
Speaker 1: Wow, what an icon this man. I think I'm in

594
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:09,080
Speaker 1: love with him too.

595
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 3: He was so onto it, and he just knew I

596
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:16,520
Speaker 3: wanted out, he really really did, and he just supported.

597
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:19,000
Speaker 1: That What an icon. I love that. So now you're out,

598
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:22,560
Speaker 1: now you're on the flip side. What does that look like?

599
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:27,080
Speaker 1: You have some children, you have a very support tell me,

600
00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:28,960
Speaker 1: tell me all of the fun stuff.

601
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:33,479
Speaker 3: So I do. I had my first biological child. I

602
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 3: had my daughter Kaya in January.

603
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:41,520
Speaker 1: Congratulations, mama, How exciting.

604
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 3: So good, amazing. I love it. I love it so much.

605
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 3: I was one of those people that were so sick

606
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:48,560
Speaker 3: during their pregnancy.

607
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:51,640
Speaker 1: Oh the same girl, same girl. Like I am traumatized

608
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:52,040
Speaker 1: from that.

609
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 3: Literally, if anyone else is pregnant, I never share my

610
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:58,000
Speaker 3: story around pregnancy because I'm like, you don't want to know.

611
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,720
Speaker 1: I tell them like, no, no, no, that's all good.

612
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:02,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know.

613
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:06,200
Speaker 1: I loved pregnancy, pregnancy beautiful. I hated it.

614
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:11,600
Speaker 3: That's exactly. It's so two children. My partner obviously had

615
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:14,480
Speaker 3: a child from a separate relationships or a bit of

616
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:15,400
Speaker 3: a shared family.

617
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:18,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, bonus, mum, Yeah, absolutely, it's.

618
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:21,600
Speaker 3: Lots of fun. It really is moving forward. Like my

619
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:26,239
Speaker 3: future looks like now I've got a dedicated like holiday.

620
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 1: Fund, yes, queen, how good?

621
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:34,400
Speaker 3: Yes, all of my loans payments and I had every

622
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:37,400
Speaker 3: payment you could think of. I'm talking plenty. I'm talking

623
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:41,120
Speaker 3: zip pay, zip money after pay. We just collected Pokemon.

624
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:44,600
Speaker 3: It was a game, nimble, everything you can possibly think of,

625
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 3: latitude I had. We've taken that down from all of

626
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:54,960
Speaker 3: that to one loan, which is fantastic. But having dedicated

627
00:34:55,080 --> 00:35:00,839
Speaker 3: like savings to holidays houses an investment account, like, it's

628
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:04,839
Speaker 3: just up from here. I'm not falling short anymore. All

629
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 3: of my arears is paid off.

630
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:09,240
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, who are you?

631
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 3: Life looks so different, Like if you touched base with

632
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:16,000
Speaker 3: me a year ago, it would be a completely different conversation.

633
00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:18,960
Speaker 1: My god. And so are you still in contact with

634
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,040
Speaker 1: your family or is that just something that you like

635
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:23,400
Speaker 1: that is not for me at this stage?

636
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:28,319
Speaker 3: I did. I gave a lot of opportunity, and I

637
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:31,240
Speaker 3: think you really nailed it on the head here where

638
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:38,240
Speaker 3: sometimes when they're so deep rooted into certain behaviors, certain

639
00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:41,960
Speaker 3: spending styles, and I guess just who they are, they

640
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:45,480
Speaker 3: don't want to change. I can't change them. And I

641
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:50,160
Speaker 3: think people really need to realize that it's okay if

642
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,080
Speaker 3: they don't want to change, But are you going to

643
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:54,640
Speaker 3: accept that and live with that or are you not

644
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:57,600
Speaker 3: going to? And I didn't want to anymore.

645
00:35:57,719 --> 00:36:00,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's fair. And I feel like drawing that boundary

646
00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:04,279
Speaker 1: is probably the best thing you've ever done for yourself. Absolutely,

647
00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:07,080
Speaker 1: Like you're creating the family that you deserve, not the

648
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:09,239
Speaker 1: family that you were just born into. And I think

649
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:12,080
Speaker 1: that that is such a powerful position to be in.

650
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:16,799
Speaker 3: It really is, And like, boundaries are so powerful, and

651
00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:19,920
Speaker 3: a boundary is only a boundary if it's being respected.

652
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:23,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred percent, one hundred percent. And often people

653
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:26,480
Speaker 1: don't like your boundaries because it's a way that they

654
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:30,120
Speaker 1: can take advantage of you. Like that's right, Oh you

655
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:32,760
Speaker 1: don't like my boundaries. Is that because you wanted something

656
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:34,600
Speaker 1: for you that I was saying no for me?

657
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:38,440
Speaker 3: Like, oh interesting, whether it's a toxic boss, like a

658
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:42,400
Speaker 3: toxic girlfriend from high school. Like I just utilize and

659
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:46,360
Speaker 3: live that mantra every day. Boundary is only a boundary

660
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:48,279
Speaker 3: if it's being respected, exactly.

661
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:50,279
Speaker 1: So tell me what do you do for work? How

662
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:51,760
Speaker 1: much money do you earn today?

663
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:55,400
Speaker 3: So I am working casually and I work in the shift,

664
00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 3: which is really great for my lifestyle because I don't

665
00:36:58,520 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 3: feel like I'm missing out.

666
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,560
Speaker 1: We've got a baby, what seven or eight months now?

667
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:05,560
Speaker 1: That day. I think the fact that you're working is impressive.

668
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:09,200
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, thank you. But we decided to make

669
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:12,799
Speaker 3: a decision that we obviously changed our budget and we

670
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:16,160
Speaker 3: were we were living comfortably, but we made the decision

671
00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:18,680
Speaker 3: for me to return back to work casually get all

672
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:22,680
Speaker 3: of that loading, and it's only going to our housing

673
00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:23,640
Speaker 3: and savings account.

674
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 1: Oh how exciting. You just really feel like you're contributing

675
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:30,239
Speaker 1: when it goes straight into something like that, Hey really is.

676
00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:32,479
Speaker 3: And it's like, oh my goodness, we're ahead all the time.

677
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:34,600
Speaker 3: What do we This is great sexy.

678
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:35,600
Speaker 1: I love it.

679
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:39,440
Speaker 3: It's amazing. But I work in hospitality and I've actually

680
00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:42,640
Speaker 3: just been offered a duty manager position in the couple

681
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:44,879
Speaker 3: of months that I've been there. Of course you have,

682
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:47,799
Speaker 3: so that's obviously going to be a big pay rise.

683
00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:50,040
Speaker 3: But at the moment, depending on the hours I want

684
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:54,560
Speaker 3: to do, it's anywhere between eight hundred dollars to twelve

685
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:57,600
Speaker 3: hundred dollars a week. It's casual, so there's some loading there.

686
00:37:57,680 --> 00:37:59,680
Speaker 3: Sometimes it's a little bit more, sometimes it's a little

687
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:01,799
Speaker 3: bit less, but that's usually what we're looking at.

688
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:02,799
Speaker 1: How good's that?

689
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,960
Speaker 3: And if I take on the duty manager role, it'll

690
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:08,200
Speaker 3: be about eighty thousand a year.

691
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:11,040
Speaker 1: Oh how good is that? I bet you didn't see

692
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:11,560
Speaker 1: that coming.

693
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:13,759
Speaker 3: No, not at all, And it was just a job

694
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 3: I enjoyed. It's really sweet. It's almost like an RSL

695
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:20,560
Speaker 3: sort of vibe. You know, it's the same locals and

696
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:23,160
Speaker 3: they're really beautiful, and I do enjoy it.

697
00:38:23,239 --> 00:38:24,960
Speaker 1: I love that. So tell me a bit more. What

698
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:28,200
Speaker 1: are your big money goals? You've obviously started setting everything up.

699
00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 1: You've got this like holiday fund, but like, what are

700
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:32,640
Speaker 1: you currently working towards?

701
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:38,520
Speaker 3: So for us, we're currently saving for our very first

702
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:40,160
Speaker 3: investment property and.

703
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:42,080
Speaker 1: What does that look like? How will that work?

704
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:44,719
Speaker 3: So at the moment, we're in one of those suburbs

705
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:50,520
Speaker 3: that just quadrupled during COVID, so we will likely be renfesting.

706
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:56,400
Speaker 3: So we're looking just out of southeast Queensland, Greater Brisbane.

707
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:58,560
Speaker 1: How good? All right, let's go to a really quick

708
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:00,439
Speaker 1: break on the flip side. I have a whole heap

709
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:08,080
Speaker 1: of questions for you. Don't go anywhere money, Diris. We

710
00:39:08,239 --> 00:39:10,440
Speaker 1: are back and I feel like you have changed your

711
00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 1: entire story, Like you haven't just changed a few things,

712
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:16,360
Speaker 1: and like you know, gone from being in debt to

713
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:19,680
Speaker 1: out of debt, Like you've changed the entire trajectory of

714
00:39:19,719 --> 00:39:22,360
Speaker 1: your entire life, and I am just I'm so proud

715
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,759
Speaker 1: of you, but so excited to see where you go.

716
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,520
Speaker 1: Like every job that you've had. I don't know if

717
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 1: you've noticed this pattern, but you've told me every job

718
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:32,960
Speaker 1: you've had, you've like gone in they've seen your value

719
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:35,760
Speaker 1: really early on. You've probably had this epic work ethic

720
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:38,520
Speaker 1: and you've moved up the ranks really quickly. You've just

721
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:41,440
Speaker 1: done it again. You went back casually just doing some

722
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 1: like night shift stuff so that you could bring some

723
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:47,200
Speaker 1: extra cash in and they've already offered you a duty

724
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:51,600
Speaker 1: manager role like be for real, Like obviously you are

725
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:53,239
Speaker 1: killing it, but.

726
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:55,240
Speaker 3: That's insane when you say it out loud.

727
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:59,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, but like it's so cool that that's the case,

728
00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:00,640
Speaker 1: and you can just see it when you were even

729
00:40:00,719 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 1: doing that, when you were experiencing such adversity that now

730
00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:06,600
Speaker 1: you're not, Like, I can't wait to see where you go.

731
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:10,960
Speaker 1: But back to the set questions before I get completely

732
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:14,840
Speaker 1: off track again, have you thought about investing what does

733
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:17,680
Speaker 1: that look like for you in the future, or have

734
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 1: you discussed it with your partner? Or what are your

735
00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 1: thoughts and feelings.

736
00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:25,880
Speaker 3: So we're definitely looking down the investment route. We're actually

737
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:29,320
Speaker 3: booked in this week to touch base with a financial advisor.

738
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:30,799
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, get it.

739
00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:34,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're really excited for so we're looking at utilizing

740
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:39,080
Speaker 3: our superannuation a little bit better, and yeah, we definitely

741
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:42,600
Speaker 3: want to get into shares and those sorts of things,

742
00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:46,600
Speaker 3: but for the moment, we're really sort of our focus

743
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:50,560
Speaker 3: is around our first investment property, Like that's our big

744
00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:52,719
Speaker 3: sort of ticket item that we're.

745
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:55,920
Speaker 1: And that's an investment like that's still there. That absolutely

746
00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:58,400
Speaker 1: makes sense when you touched on super so I just

747
00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:01,200
Speaker 1: feel like you're in the right place. You're going places,

748
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:02,680
Speaker 1: my friend, thank you so.

749
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 3: Much, thank you, but really excited to see what the

750
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 3: financial advisor we'll have to say, and we're just going

751
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:11,800
Speaker 3: to sort of work from there. We're really really excited.

752
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:13,960
Speaker 1: I love it all right, tell me about debts. So

753
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:17,920
Speaker 1: you have smashed down so much debt it's not even funny.

754
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:22,120
Speaker 1: What are your current debts and how long do you

755
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:23,600
Speaker 1: think it'll take to get out of them?

756
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:26,480
Speaker 3: So this is where my partner and I are sort

757
00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:29,839
Speaker 3: of on the fence because we do solely have as

758
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:34,719
Speaker 3: I said, an entire job going dedicated to savings. And

759
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:39,279
Speaker 3: we're deciding whether we pay out all of our debts

760
00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:43,120
Speaker 3: or whether we still go for the investment property. But

761
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:46,759
Speaker 3: our capacity will change, so what we can actually loan

762
00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:49,640
Speaker 3: is going to change. So that's what we're sort of

763
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:52,920
Speaker 3: on the line of, we refinance some debts. So my

764
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:57,719
Speaker 3: partner has a personal loan he refinanced, and I've just

765
00:41:57,719 --> 00:41:58,600
Speaker 3: got my car loans.

766
00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:01,440
Speaker 1: You've just got one each each. Oh my gosh, if

767
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:03,520
Speaker 1: we went back like three or four years, would you

768
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:04,719
Speaker 1: believe that you only had one?

769
00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:08,600
Speaker 3: Absolutely not. I just remember always having a negative account

770
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:12,360
Speaker 3: and always getting the scary phone call of like you ows.

771
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:14,560
Speaker 1: And now if I said to you, oh my gosh,

772
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:17,160
Speaker 1: this bill has popped up, like it's one hundred dollars,

773
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:19,120
Speaker 1: like you'd have the cash in the bank for that.

774
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:19,440
Speaker 3: We do.

775
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:23,279
Speaker 1: Oh, how exciting is that? That's my favorite thing to hear,

776
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:27,560
Speaker 1: Like obviously, an emergency fund is literally my favorite thing

777
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:30,440
Speaker 1: because it gives you financial control even if you are

778
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:32,759
Speaker 1: still in debt, like even if you are still going

779
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:35,400
Speaker 1: through it, like just knowing that you've got cash at

780
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:38,080
Speaker 1: your fingertips to get yourself out of a pickle like,

781
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:42,040
Speaker 1: it's literally the best thing ever. I want to know though,

782
00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:45,880
Speaker 1: Like side note on the debt question, you've obviously smashed

783
00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:48,720
Speaker 1: down so much of it. What's your best smashing down

784
00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:49,439
Speaker 1: debt tip?

785
00:42:49,719 --> 00:42:53,759
Speaker 3: That is such a good question. Something that I did

786
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:56,480
Speaker 3: and I was heavily pregnant with my daughter when I

787
00:42:56,520 --> 00:43:01,080
Speaker 3: did this, I picked up a job in my last trimester.

788
00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:04,160
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, icon, I think I was dying in

789
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:05,320
Speaker 1: my last trimester.

790
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:07,840
Speaker 3: Oh I was. I had to walk around with a nappy.

791
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:12,000
Speaker 3: It wasn't pretty for anyone involve so just at work

792
00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:14,560
Speaker 3: wearing a nappy, No, no, no, how would they lik?

793
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:17,640
Speaker 3: Oh and the vomit bag, but it was kind of

794
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:19,120
Speaker 3: beautiful because it was male dominant.

795
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:20,280
Speaker 1: They didn't want to ask those.

796
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:23,399
Speaker 3: Questions because I so much information, you.

797
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 1: Know, scare them away. Icon.

798
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:29,560
Speaker 3: I think the best tip I could give is just focusing.

799
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:34,000
Speaker 3: Like in my case, it was arrears and refinancing. So

800
00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:36,800
Speaker 3: I was a really really silly girl. And something that

801
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:39,239
Speaker 3: they don't tell you is if you're not paying off

802
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:43,719
Speaker 3: your finances, and maybe I think I went into like

803
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 3: an emergency program so they stopped taking money up and

804
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:50,399
Speaker 3: I had six months to pay that off what they

805
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:52,239
Speaker 3: don't tell you is that you have to play six

806
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:55,399
Speaker 3: months interest on top of that. Yeah, and I did

807
00:43:55,400 --> 00:44:00,640
Speaker 3: that with all of my loans, so my arears were insane.

808
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:04,840
Speaker 3: During that time. We sold off just things that we

809
00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:07,960
Speaker 3: didn't need, like the trailer that was hanging out in

810
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:11,880
Speaker 3: the front yard that no one's touched. But I worked

811
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:15,240
Speaker 3: and we just solely used. My partner paid the bills

812
00:44:15,440 --> 00:44:18,839
Speaker 3: and I paid like all of the arrears and finances,

813
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:23,960
Speaker 3: and within you know, four to five short months, everything

814
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:26,360
Speaker 3: was almost gone. And then we refinanced.

815
00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:30,239
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that's so exciting. And I love that

816
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:32,960
Speaker 1: you were so resourceful. I mean the fact that you

817
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:37,560
Speaker 1: were willing to wear unappy to work and get it. Queen,

818
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:40,319
Speaker 1: you're a woman on a mission. I love it. It was

819
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:40,759
Speaker 1: and I.

820
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:43,160
Speaker 3: Look back and I look at like the lifestyle I

821
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:47,120
Speaker 3: have now with my daughter, like even now, like I'm

822
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:50,400
Speaker 3: sitting with my daughter, like and it's so amazing. But

823
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:52,680
Speaker 3: I still have cash flow coming in, and I still

824
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:56,719
Speaker 3: have savings and an emergency fund and you know, as

825
00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:58,240
Speaker 3: a dedicated holiday fund.

826
00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:02,839
Speaker 1: That's so excited. And that's just not how you grew up.

827
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:05,920
Speaker 1: Like these are things and experiences that you're able to

828
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:08,880
Speaker 1: give your daughter because you've been able to take control

829
00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:09,800
Speaker 1: of this situation.

830
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:14,240
Speaker 3: I'm obsessed, Oh my goodness, absolutely, even like it's gotten

831
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:16,799
Speaker 3: down to like a sun and like his first bits

832
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:20,080
Speaker 3: of pocket money, and we're sort of explaining that, like, okay,

833
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:23,759
Speaker 3: so half we're putting away and then half again, So

834
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 3: a quarter you can spend on whatever, that's your splurge money.

835
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 3: The other quarter is you know, are you saving for

836
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:32,680
Speaker 3: that lego? Are you saving for that basketball? And we're

837
00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:35,560
Speaker 3: just trying to teach him around money and get his

838
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:39,719
Speaker 3: literacy up as well, which is really exciting too.

839
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:42,280
Speaker 1: And I think that that's such a really good point,

840
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:45,640
Speaker 1: like you get to instill this in a future generation,

841
00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:48,040
Speaker 1: which is really cool. But also something that I want

842
00:45:48,080 --> 00:45:51,920
Speaker 1: to go back on. Earlier, you said something, you said,

843
00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 1: I'm such a silly girl. I believe like around how

844
00:45:57,040 --> 00:45:59,600
Speaker 1: you managed your debts, and I just wanted to nip

845
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:03,160
Speaker 1: that in but because you said I'm yeah, I'm such

846
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:05,200
Speaker 1: a silly girl, or I was such a silly girl,

847
00:46:05,239 --> 00:46:07,280
Speaker 1: and just you were doing the best that you could

848
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:10,440
Speaker 1: with the time and the energy and the knowledge and

849
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:13,080
Speaker 1: the resources that you had access to. You were just

850
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:15,600
Speaker 1: getting by and I think that we need to be

851
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:20,120
Speaker 1: so gentle with our past selves because that's who got

852
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:22,840
Speaker 1: you to hear, Like they might not have had the

853
00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:25,239
Speaker 1: time and the resources, and she might not have had

854
00:46:25,239 --> 00:46:27,359
Speaker 1: the knowledge that you have today, but that didn't make

855
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:29,799
Speaker 1: her silly because she's the one that got you out

856
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:33,640
Speaker 1: of that situation. Like, I just think it's so important

857
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:36,800
Speaker 1: to be so kind to past us because so many

858
00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:39,719
Speaker 1: times we call ourselves silly or dumb or oh my god,

859
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:42,279
Speaker 1: I'm such an idiot, and like it's not true, like

860
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:44,920
Speaker 1: and it doesn't help us to be in that mindset.

861
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:47,960
Speaker 3: No, no, it's es same. It doesn't help anyone. It's

862
00:46:48,160 --> 00:46:50,960
Speaker 3: very true though, Like, and I think just the reflection

863
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:54,080
Speaker 3: on looking back and seeing where I am, you wouldn't

864
00:46:54,120 --> 00:46:54,600
Speaker 3: believe it.

865
00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:57,920
Speaker 1: I do. I can see it, and it's so cool,

866
00:46:58,520 --> 00:46:59,320
Speaker 1: it's insane.

867
00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:02,399
Speaker 3: Like literally, I think I had a photo memory come

868
00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:05,640
Speaker 3: up today where I was heavily pregnant with my daughter

869
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:08,680
Speaker 3: and I remember like the loan sharks knocking on the door.

870
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:10,799
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, wow, that was.

871
00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:14,319
Speaker 3: A photo memory that came up to then, like you know,

872
00:47:14,719 --> 00:47:19,719
Speaker 3: having savings, living comfortably, your all of these accounts, and

873
00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:22,799
Speaker 3: this was only within a year eighteen months time, which

874
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:23,480
Speaker 3: is insane.

875
00:47:23,719 --> 00:47:26,799
Speaker 1: I am so excited for you. So tell me, what

876
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:29,040
Speaker 1: do you think is now your best money habit?

877
00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:31,360
Speaker 3: You know what my best money habit At the moment,

878
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:38,479
Speaker 3: I'm on the fence between prioritizing debt or my house

879
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:41,640
Speaker 3: savings account because I love that, Like you wake up

880
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:44,160
Speaker 3: every week looking and like, well look how much of

881
00:47:44,239 --> 00:47:48,080
Speaker 3: that grew? I think that's my favorite. Definitely my house

882
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:49,360
Speaker 3: savings account.

883
00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:52,720
Speaker 1: I think that that is a really, really good money habit.

884
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:56,360
Speaker 1: Tell me, though, do you have any naughty little money habits?

885
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:57,160
Speaker 1: What's your worst?

886
00:47:57,600 --> 00:48:01,719
Speaker 3: Oh? My goodness? Now, like, oh, I feel like so

887
00:48:01,719 --> 00:48:03,960
Speaker 3: many people relate to this too, and it's almost like

888
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:05,800
Speaker 3: it's a bit naughty. It's a bit naughty.

889
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:07,560
Speaker 1: It's all right, that's all right, we're here for it,

890
00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:09,759
Speaker 1: irrespective of how naughty it is.

891
00:48:10,239 --> 00:48:12,479
Speaker 3: I love a naughty snack from the server.

892
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:15,520
Speaker 1: Oh no, sorry, I'm I'm here for that. Like, not

893
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:18,399
Speaker 1: one thing hits better than a seven eleven sausage roll,

894
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:21,120
Speaker 1: that's right, Like it's it's not even naughty to me.

895
00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:24,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is this is a treat. It's self

896
00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:27,440
Speaker 1: care guys, Yeah exactly. And I mean if the coffee

897
00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:29,960
Speaker 1: is a dollar. Like, am I not saving money by

898
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:30,440
Speaker 1: being here?

899
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:34,799
Speaker 3: My goodness? But I'm really bad for that. Like it's

900
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:36,960
Speaker 3: me and my partners. We look at each other, I'm like, oh,

901
00:48:37,239 --> 00:48:39,479
Speaker 3: would a Maxi bond be nice right now?

902
00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:41,480
Speaker 1: It would be it would be really nice.

903
00:48:41,719 --> 00:48:44,399
Speaker 3: It would be really nice. But that is something like,

904
00:48:44,800 --> 00:48:47,120
Speaker 3: you know, we stay on top of checking our accounts.

905
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:50,040
Speaker 3: Often we look and we go, oh, you know, maybe it,

906
00:48:50,040 --> 00:48:53,520
Speaker 3: which is why a pack of Maxi bonds instead of

907
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:55,440
Speaker 3: like yell midnight trips.

908
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:58,239
Speaker 1: See, that's what kills me. Knowing how cheap they are

909
00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:02,759
Speaker 1: at the supermarket, Like just knowing that I'm spending what

910
00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:05,720
Speaker 1: I could have spent on a box of four on

911
00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:08,239
Speaker 1: was like I'm always like, oh, this pains me, but

912
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:11,080
Speaker 1: then I tap my card and I did it anyway,

913
00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:12,080
Speaker 1: that's it.

914
00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:15,879
Speaker 3: So that's something that we're slowly working on. But it's

915
00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:18,680
Speaker 3: also like this idea on our head. We were like, well,

916
00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:22,280
Speaker 3: it does make us really happy and we love doing it. True.

917
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:26,760
Speaker 1: True, we are living within our values. Yes, Money Diarist,

918
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:29,200
Speaker 1: at the start of this episode, you said I'm a

919
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:31,560
Speaker 1: C plus. I think I'm a C plus and I'm

920
00:49:31,600 --> 00:49:33,480
Speaker 1: not going to argue with you. I feel like you

921
00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:36,840
Speaker 1: have been through the absolute ringer and come out the

922
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:39,759
Speaker 1: other side for the better. Like I'm just I'm so

923
00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:43,080
Speaker 1: proud of you, Like you've been through so much and

924
00:49:43,239 --> 00:49:47,000
Speaker 1: changed your whole trajectory for the better. Like your daughter

925
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:49,560
Speaker 1: is in the best possible position. Your family is going

926
00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:53,479
Speaker 1: to be so well looked after. What would it take

927
00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:56,120
Speaker 1: for you to get to an A or an A plus?

928
00:49:56,160 --> 00:49:56,279
Speaker 3: Like?

929
00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:58,359
Speaker 1: What would that look like? What work do you think

930
00:49:58,520 --> 00:49:59,400
Speaker 1: needs to be done?

931
00:49:59,560 --> 00:50:02,200
Speaker 3: I think it's it's the power of the unknown. At

932
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:06,960
Speaker 3: the moment, I feel like I'm so new to understanding money,

933
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:09,759
Speaker 3: and even though I'm passionate about it, I'm reading every

934
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:12,920
Speaker 3: book I can find on it. I think when I

935
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:18,680
Speaker 3: have a better understanding on say like investments and prioritizing

936
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:20,960
Speaker 3: debt a little bit more, and I guess having a

937
00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 3: stronger knowledge on budget, I have the most basic PDF

938
00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:28,120
Speaker 3: budget you can think of, it's you know, I could

939
00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:32,279
Speaker 3: change things up, for sure, but I think really sort

940
00:50:32,280 --> 00:50:35,920
Speaker 3: of investing more time, getting some more advice from like

941
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:40,600
Speaker 3: experts like financial advisors and things, and moving forward from there.

942
00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:42,320
Speaker 1: Oh, I can help, I can help. I'm going to

943
00:50:42,360 --> 00:50:44,600
Speaker 1: set you up with our money master class. I feel

944
00:50:44,640 --> 00:50:46,799
Speaker 1: like I keep doing this on the show, but I'm like,

945
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:48,600
Speaker 1: not even a little bit sorry, But I'm going to

946
00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:51,160
Speaker 1: set you up with our money masterclass, which I think

947
00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:52,600
Speaker 1: is going to really help. If you said you have

948
00:50:52,640 --> 00:50:55,720
Speaker 1: a PDF budget move over like that, mine is going

949
00:50:55,760 --> 00:50:59,279
Speaker 1: to run rings around it. You're going to love it.

950
00:50:59,280 --> 00:51:02,440
Speaker 1: It's also why aesthetically love that. But it's also got

951
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:04,640
Speaker 1: a heap of videos, so it will take you through

952
00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:07,319
Speaker 1: like why you feel certain ways about money, how to

953
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:09,680
Speaker 1: get through that, what that looks like for you in

954
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:13,120
Speaker 1: the future, and also like why it's important to invest,

955
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:16,600
Speaker 1: you know, what insurance might look like, debt reduction, all

956
00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:19,560
Speaker 1: of that fun stuff. I mean, you're probably across the

957
00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:21,799
Speaker 1: debt reduction you don't need me for that, But the

958
00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:24,160
Speaker 1: budgeting side of things I think I could really help with.

959
00:51:24,200 --> 00:51:25,879
Speaker 1: So I'll set you up with that. But the rest

960
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:28,280
Speaker 1: of it, I mean, girl, you're seeing a financial advisor

961
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:30,520
Speaker 1: this week, Like you're going to be an A plus

962
00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:32,000
Speaker 1: by Friday by the sound of it.

963
00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:32,840
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness.

964
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:33,440
Speaker 1: I hope.

965
00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:37,680
Speaker 3: So, I hope. So I'm excited to start making money

966
00:51:38,239 --> 00:51:41,080
Speaker 3: work for us in like an investment way, not just

967
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:44,680
Speaker 3: reducing debt, not just paying deals. But like really making

968
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 3: money work for us. I think that's my end goal.

969
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:50,640
Speaker 1: I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed with this whole story

970
00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:52,799
Speaker 1: of you coming out the other side and just being

971
00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:56,160
Speaker 1: so positive, like you've just got so much to share

972
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:59,359
Speaker 1: with the world, and like knowing that you've gone you're

973
00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:01,359
Speaker 1: a mum, you have a seven or eight month old,

974
00:52:01,480 --> 00:52:04,720
Speaker 1: and you are now working, and now you've been offered

975
00:52:04,719 --> 00:52:06,839
Speaker 1: an eighty thousand dollars a year job, like you are

976
00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:08,760
Speaker 1: going to be fine. We have to do like a

977
00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:11,040
Speaker 1: she's on the money, where are they now? Like I

978
00:52:11,120 --> 00:52:13,920
Speaker 1: need to do money dries and bybe I'll call you,

979
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:15,560
Speaker 1: I'll call you in a year, I'll call you in

980
00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:18,759
Speaker 1: two years. We need to know updates because I'm just

981
00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:23,000
Speaker 1: so excited for you, like the change.

982
00:52:22,719 --> 00:52:25,520
Speaker 3: It's amazing. What's the date. We're in August, You're in

983
00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:28,680
Speaker 3: August August next year. I'm excited.

984
00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:31,520
Speaker 1: I'm excited. Let's do it. Let's do it all right, Sadly,

985
00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:33,440
Speaker 1: that is all we have time for today. I have

986
00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:36,080
Speaker 1: loved hearing your story. I have felt very privileged that

987
00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:39,080
Speaker 1: you've trusted us with it and that you want to

988
00:52:39,120 --> 00:52:41,120
Speaker 1: share it with the community, so that they can put

989
00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:44,719
Speaker 1: themselves in better positions and really just understand what they're

990
00:52:44,719 --> 00:52:47,000
Speaker 1: going through. I'm going to have a whole host of

991
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:49,600
Speaker 1: links in the show notes, so if anyone's going through

992
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:52,600
Speaker 1: something similar like you are, they are well supported and

993
00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:55,360
Speaker 1: we can send you in the right direction. But Money Diarist,

994
00:52:55,440 --> 00:52:57,520
Speaker 1: it has been a pleasure. I'm just so grateful that

995
00:52:57,560 --> 00:52:59,040
Speaker 1: you want to share this with us, and I know

996
00:52:59,160 --> 00:53:01,280
Speaker 1: our community is going to love this episode.

997
00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:04,040
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to

998
00:53:04,160 --> 00:53:07,759
Speaker 3: use this platform to help others. I'm just blessed. Thank

999
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:08,319
Speaker 3: you so much.

1000
00:53:08,360 --> 00:53:09,719
Speaker 1: You're an icon. You're an icon.

1001
00:53:16,239 --> 00:53:18,760
Speaker 4: The advice shared on She's on the Money is general

1002
00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:22,680
Speaker 4: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's

1003
00:53:22,719 --> 00:53:26,200
Speaker 4: on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should

1004
00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:29,400
Speaker 4: not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.

1005
00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:32,200
Speaker 4: If you do choose to buy a financial product, read

1006
00:53:32,239 --> 00:53:35,960
Speaker 4: the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice.

1007
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:36,960
Speaker 1: Tailored towards your needs.

1008
00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:41,280
Speaker 4: Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives

1009
00:53:41,320 --> 00:53:45,359
Speaker 4: of Money sheper Pty Ltd ABN three two one six

1010
00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:49,399
Speaker 4: four nine two seven seven zero eight AFSL four five

1011
00:53:49,480 --> 00:53:50,680
Speaker 4: one two, eight, nine,