Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome back to a litle bonus episode.
Speaker 2: Well is it a bonus?
Speaker 3: That's a year in review.
Speaker 1: We're doing like a little sum up, a little rear
Speaker 1: in your view.
Speaker 4: That's why I just went to say, I'll give you
Speaker 4: a little.
Speaker 2: Rear in your view, a little view of my rear.
Speaker 1: If there's anything that describes the year, that is it
Speaker 1: a rear in your view.
Speaker 2: That is what I.
Speaker 5: Literally just said.
Speaker 4: Britt has completely checked out, she's not even here.
Speaker 3: We're doing a year in reviewer.
Speaker 1: We just thought we would take a little look back
Speaker 1: at twenty twenty one, some of our favorite.
Speaker 5: Moments, some of your favorite moments, some of the.
Speaker 1: Shit that went down, some of the memorable things, some
Speaker 1: of the things that we thought we just have to
Speaker 1: immortalize here forever. I think we've spoken so much about
Speaker 1: how I've said it, and I kind of take it back.
Speaker 1: I've said that twenty twenty one was a dumpster fire
Speaker 1: of a year, and I think for so many of
Speaker 1: us there were some very challenging parts of twenty twenty one.
Speaker 1: But when I sat back and listened to the podcast
Speaker 1: and listened to so many of the episodes that we
Speaker 1: have covered, I also have loved so much of this year,
Speaker 1: and I think we can often in life choose to
Speaker 1: focus on the negative, or we can choose to focus
Speaker 1: on the positive and the way that we perceive what's
Speaker 1: going on around us, our reaction to situations can definitely
Speaker 1: form our own personal feelings towards it, and looking back,
Speaker 1: I was like, Gosh, we've had such a It's been
Speaker 1: such a huge privilege to interview some of the people
Speaker 1: that we've interviewed. It's been such a huge privilege to
Speaker 1: engage with so many of you from the community, and
Speaker 1: so we wanted to put together this little episode a
Speaker 1: highlight real looking back on our favorite interviews, our favorite
Speaker 1: moments in time, so we can walk down memory lane
Speaker 1: together twenty twenty one hand in hand.
Speaker 5: One thing that did happen in twenty twenty one.
Speaker 1: That I think we can look positively on is we
Speaker 1: welcomed producer Keyshirt to the team.
Speaker 5: I like to think of that as a positive.
Speaker 4: Laura, do you it's really been a highlight.
Speaker 6: I would say that it is my suite.
Speaker 1: Of twenty twenty one, But we actually are going to
Speaker 1: trust her a little bit more than ever here and
Speaker 1: she's going to take over this episode, she's going to
Speaker 1: go through some of the highlights this year, You guys
Speaker 1: have had nothing but praise and love for Keisha, much
Speaker 1: like us, so we are so stoked be taking Keisha
Speaker 1: into twenty twenty two as well. And also we just
Speaker 1: want to say that we hope that you guys had
Speaker 1: an incredible Christmas. We hope that you have a cracking
Speaker 1: New Year, and we'll be seeing you red hot and
Speaker 1: ready back in twenty twenty two. Well, actually we'll see
Speaker 1: you with a few bonus episodes before then, but we're
Speaker 1: we back and in twenty twenty two, we're giving you
Speaker 1: an extra episode a week. Now. Don't say we are
Speaker 1: not good to you, but that is in the form
Speaker 1: of our radio show. So we do have a radio
Speaker 1: show coming every Saturday ten to twelve. We expect you
Speaker 1: to tune in because we're going to really need those
Speaker 1: ratings coming out of the gate, so that would be great.
Speaker 6: Please just go.
Speaker 1: And sit in your car, even if you're not actually
Speaker 1: in your car. Just run your car, turn the radio on,
Speaker 1: and listen Striving on your laptop.
Speaker 2: I do do it on an app. Put on an app.
Speaker 4: Okay, get everyone you know to sit in their car.
Speaker 1: Turn the car on, get your apps, everyone tuning just
Speaker 1: for the start, otherwise they might come down on its heart. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but there's only one other female led radio show in
Speaker 1: the country. It's Umi Steins and Kate Longbrook, which is
Speaker 1: the three pm pickup.
Speaker 5: And they're against the big guns.
Speaker 2: The big Guns.
Speaker 5: They're great.
Speaker 1: Have been so incredibly fortunate to be given an opportunity
Speaker 1: to be the second female led radio show, which is
Speaker 1: why we need you, guys to listen on every fucking
Speaker 1: device you have. Anyway, that episode from the radio will
Speaker 1: drop into the feed so you can listen to it
Speaker 1: at a later date, but we prefer to listen in
Speaker 1: real time.
Speaker 2: But here we are.
Speaker 1: We will hand you over to produce Akisha to give
Speaker 1: you a little walk down memory lane. We hope that
Speaker 1: you love this as much as we did creating it.
Speaker 2: We can't wait to see you in twenty twenty two. Hey,
Speaker 2: life is it's Keisha here.
Speaker 3: What an absolute pleasure it is to be hanging out
Speaker 3: with you and looking back on the year that was
Speaker 3: twenty twenty one and thinking about all the highs and
Speaker 3: the lows.
Speaker 2: They're definitely worse and sucks. Maybe this is something we could.
Speaker 3: Do actually I thine we should start a thread in
Speaker 3: the Facebook group.
Speaker 2: It's not a wedding.
Speaker 3: Hashtag, don't worry, it's also not a photoshot request. Maybe
Speaker 3: you should start a bit of a thread of our
Speaker 3: suck and our suite of the year. I think for
Speaker 3: a lot of people myself included, Suck of the year
Speaker 3: would have to be lockdowns, and my suite of the
Speaker 3: year was for sure joining the Life Uncut family.
Speaker 2: I'm so lucky.
Speaker 3: I get to hang out with my two bosses who
Speaker 3: feel more like sisters now every day of the week.
Speaker 3: And we have absolutely loved making this podcast.
Speaker 2: It's just been one of.
Speaker 3: The best things I've ever gotten to do in my life.
Speaker 3: So let's jump into it. The very first person that
Speaker 3: we are flashing back to is someone who has written
Speaker 3: a book or two in their time, sold fourteen million
Speaker 3: copies if I'm being more specific, it is Mark Manson,
Speaker 3: who is the author of The Subtle Art of Not
Speaker 3: Giving a Fuck.
Speaker 2: Now. What I love about Mark Manson.
Speaker 3: Is his no bullshit kind of attitude to life.
Speaker 2: I really really enjoyed this chat.
Speaker 3: I loved what he had to say. So let's jump
Speaker 3: into it.
Speaker 1: Puck for anybody who hasn't read The Subtle Art of
Speaker 1: Not Giving a fuck? Can you give us a quick
Speaker 1: sort of run down on what is the philosophy of
Speaker 1: not giving a fuck? What does that mean?
Speaker 7: The subtle are not giving a fuck? It's a little
Speaker 7: bit of a trick, you know. It kind of it
Speaker 7: lures people in by by making this promise of like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 7: all your stress and anxiety, like you can just not
Speaker 7: give a fuck anymore. But what the book quickly kind
Speaker 7: of flips on you is the point that we all
Speaker 7: have to care about something. You have to give a
Speaker 7: fuck about something, and whether you realize it or not,
Speaker 7: you're always choosing what you're giving a fuck about. You're
Speaker 7: always choosing what you care about. And I think that
Speaker 7: realization of that, that constant process of choice is an
Speaker 7: extremely profound one because it calls in the question a
Speaker 7: lot of things all across our life, you know, like
Speaker 7: if you're not happy, why aren't you happy? Like why
Speaker 7: are you not choosing the things that will make you happy?
Speaker 7: If you feel like a failure, why are you not
Speaker 7: choosing the things that will make you feel like more
Speaker 7: of a success. And so it's kind of this, Uh,
Speaker 7: it's strangely a book kind of about radical responsibility, but
Speaker 7: it's also about you know, I wanted to write a
Speaker 7: book that was very much against kind of all the
Speaker 7: traditional cliche, positive thinking type of stuff. Life is full
Speaker 7: of suffering and hardship, and that's fine, Like it's there's
Speaker 7: no way to avoid that. It's actually the suffering and
Speaker 7: hardship that makes life feel meaningful. No matter what you do,
Speaker 7: you're going to fail. Every relationship you have is going
Speaker 7: to hurt you at some point it. You know, that's
Speaker 7: the cost of having close intimate relationships. So there's there's
Speaker 7: literally nothing good in our life that doesn't have some
Speaker 7: sort of like negative association with it, and so a
Speaker 7: lot of the book is aimed at helping people learn
Speaker 7: to accept that instead of try to run away from it.
Speaker 1: One of the things why you sort of said, like
Speaker 1: the question isn't why do you care about things that
Speaker 1: are trivial, but why don't you have more important things
Speaker 1: in your life to care about? Like you've got everyone's
Speaker 1: got the same amount of bucks to give, So why
Speaker 1: are you giving yours to such small, insignificant inconveniences is
Speaker 1: actually a reflection that you don't have anything big and
Speaker 1: important happening in your life, and that's the real problem.
Speaker 7: Yeah. Absolutely, And you know, it's probably the most common
Speaker 7: question I get from people, especially people who read that book,
Speaker 7: is how do I stop giving a fuck what people
Speaker 7: think about me? And my response is, you can't. You
Speaker 7: have to care what people like. It's good you care
Speaker 7: what people think about you. You know, we have a
Speaker 7: name for people who don't care what people think. It's
Speaker 7: called the psychopath. You should care what your mother thinks,
Speaker 7: you should care what your friends think, you should care
Speaker 7: what your coworkers think. The problem is not caring what
Speaker 7: people think. The problem is that you don't have anything
Speaker 7: more important in your life than what people think. That's
Speaker 7: what's missing.
Speaker 3: Oh good, I just want Mark Manson. He's so incredible.
Speaker 3: He also has a really good website if you are
Speaker 3: the type of person who likes reading articles. I tend
Speaker 3: to find myself on his website quite a lot. So
Speaker 3: there's a little something for you to do over the holidays.
Speaker 3: If you really enjoyed that chat with Mark Manson. Coming
Speaker 3: up next in a Year in Review, This is one
Speaker 3: of our favorite segments of the podcast. It definitely provides
Speaker 3: the most laughs. It's called accidentally unfiltered and it's where
Speaker 3: you write in your most embarrassing stories. And we did
Speaker 3: an entire bonus episode of your Dating Accidentally Unfiltered, and
Speaker 3: the episode was called we Don't Fuck on Weeknights.
Speaker 2: And here's why.
Speaker 1: We did the call out for you to send us
Speaker 1: your most embarrassing accidentally unfiltered dating stories and we will
Speaker 1: get into them in a second. But one of you,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna keep you anonymous because I you know we.
Speaker 6: Do that for you.
Speaker 1: You're all anonymous, You're always anonymous. No one needs to
Speaker 1: know this. However, one of you, you're a fucking rock star.
Speaker 1: You sent us a synopsis instead of sending us one
Speaker 1: accidentally unfiltered story. You just went through your whole dating list.
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna read this out because this just had
Speaker 1: me in hysterics. And I also think this really encapsulates.
Speaker 6: Dating in the modern day.
Speaker 1: So if you think you're having a rough time in alone,
Speaker 1: Todd couldn't get it up and sent me fake flowers
Speaker 1: to work. Andrew g Andrew g shocking sleep apnear and
Speaker 1: I had to sleep in another room Jane's. He got
Speaker 1: locked out of his house and I had to break
Speaker 1: in him as koona guy caught a blue tongue lizard
Speaker 1: and played with it for ages. Tim Age rocked out
Speaker 1: to first date of Vaga and Coke. Turns out he
Speaker 1: was married Tim Mel. He could only come when I
Speaker 1: told him I wanted him to come in my mouth.
Speaker 4: Where does this girl get these days? Josh won't fuck
Speaker 4: on weekdays?
Speaker 1: There's so many more that I was like the first five, man,
Speaker 1: I feel for you, but I also I can relate things.
Speaker 1: Two things. Did he bring the blue tongue lizard or
Speaker 1: did he catch the blue tongue lizard on the day?
Speaker 1: I think he like they maybe they went for a
Speaker 1: bushwalk and he caught a blue tongue lizard and then
Speaker 1: he was like, well, this is more interesting than date
Speaker 1: played with the day. Who doesn't fuck on weekdays?
Speaker 5: Is that like a superstitious thing?
Speaker 1: This could be like a new motel don't fuck on weekdays?
Speaker 2: Do you know what I was thinking?
Speaker 1: As you're reading that, I was like, I could write
Speaker 1: one of those, I men, it would be so long.
Speaker 1: To be fair, I think I only have sex on
Speaker 1: Saturday night. That's when the kids are in bed. You know,
Speaker 1: I don't think that's because it's a rule. I think
Speaker 1: that you just exhaust it and like that's the day
Speaker 1: of the week you get to do it.
Speaker 5: Fuck, where do I start?
Speaker 4: That's literally this girl, Where do I start.
Speaker 1: I'm well known for liking my older men, the silver foxes,
Speaker 1: and I'm also by. Anyhow, there's this guy that I
Speaker 1: got set up with on a blind date from a workmate.
Speaker 1: I've dated two people in the last eight years, so
Speaker 1: you can imagine how nervous I was. I reluctantly go
Speaker 1: on this date and this guy, Oh, my fucking god,
Speaker 1: he was sexy as fuck.
Speaker 5: There's a lot of fucks in this It's like I
Speaker 5: thought they saw a lot.
Speaker 1: Like instantly I got the fanny flutters ladies, you know,
Speaker 1: the kind fox. We started getting to know each other
Speaker 1: and we go on a couple of days. We had
Speaker 1: that big oh several times every time we hooked up.
Speaker 1: I'm talking with sex is mind blowing, incredible. This is
Speaker 1: why I like older men. The floodgates were definitely opened.
Speaker 5: Eventually, I tell him.
Speaker 1: I'm by and that I've had threesomes in the past.
Speaker 1: My friends now, I am very open with telling them
Speaker 1: what I get up to. I tell them very intimate
Speaker 1: details of this guy, and they are hyping me up.
Speaker 1: I was just loving it. They were like, yes, get
Speaker 1: a girl fucking hard. Have those all chasms? They were
Speaker 1: asking me every single detail. Everybody needs a woo girl
Speaker 1: in their corner. Everyone needs a sex wo girl. One night,
Speaker 1: we were at his house getting very very saucy.
Speaker 5: We didn't hear anyone.
Speaker 1: Coming side, so we kept going. When we finally realized
Speaker 1: someone was there, we stopped. We went to check it out.
Speaker 1: To my absolute horror, one of my mates was in
Speaker 1: the kitchen.
Speaker 6: I was so confused.
Speaker 2: I was like, girl, what are you doing here?
Speaker 5: But she just looked at me like a ghost.
Speaker 1: That's when the old silver Fox came out with a
Speaker 1: towel around him. Oh shit, I'm really sorry. I forgot
Speaker 1: my daughter was crashing here.
Speaker 5: This is hello.
Speaker 1: That's when I realized that's been my friend and I
Speaker 1: realized simultaneously that she's been hyping me up to.
Speaker 4: Fuck her dad.
Speaker 2: Ummy, is that you? How do you ever recover from that?
Speaker 4: I had like, where does your friendship go?
Speaker 2: What happens? She was hyping me up?
Speaker 1: And I had just thought that the day before I
Speaker 1: was telling her how good he was going down on me.
Speaker 5: I couldn't see him.
Speaker 1: After that because it was all And she's still funny
Speaker 1: with me sometimes, but hey, he was amazing.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, could.
Speaker 1: You imagine that moment daddy's in the towel you were
Speaker 1: in the middle, that she has just heard you having sex,
Speaker 1: So it's bad for everyone. The friend's like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: my dad's pounding someone. Then it realizes they've pounding your friend.
Speaker 1: Then you realize you've said how good your daddy's are
Speaker 1: going down, and you to your friend.
Speaker 2: I can't.
Speaker 1: It's just like the most awkward triangle I have ever
Speaker 1: come across. Well, I imagine if they stayed here and
Speaker 1: then they got married and then she became a stepmom.
Speaker 4: Hey mama, Oh.
Speaker 1: My god, I have one for you. Guys, try to
Speaker 1: keep this short and sweet. I went on this Tinder
Speaker 1: date with a guy and we decided to meet in
Speaker 1: the city. I drove he caught an uber, thinking it
Speaker 1: was going to be a big night. Guess that was
Speaker 1: the first red flag. I decided to have a couple
Speaker 1: of drinks and we ended up playing pool and having
Speaker 1: a pretty good time. Anyways, it was late and I
Speaker 1: decided I wanted to head home. He walked me to
Speaker 1: my car and awkwardly waited there. Me being me, I
Speaker 1: couldn't help myself and I offered him a drive home.
Speaker 6: He lived forty minutes in the opposite direction.
Speaker 5: That was very kind of you.
Speaker 1: Anyway, we hopped in the car and I was driving.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm cringing already that this happened to
Speaker 1: kiss my neck as I was looking dead into the window.
Speaker 1: But then he proceeds to whisper into my ear, I
Speaker 1: just love your titty witties, clearly thinking this.
Speaker 2: Was a turn on.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm still scared to this day. I
Speaker 1: ended up pulling up to his house and I told
Speaker 1: him to get out. He then turns to me and says,
Speaker 1: come inside and play some battleships with me in a
Speaker 1: sexy voice. I could not believe what was happening. Cleard
Speaker 1: did not get the picture. I still have secondhand embarrassment
Speaker 1: for him this day. Okay, shout out to any men listening,
Speaker 1: please never refer to them. It's titty wittyes, so he's
Speaker 1: not gonna get you anyway. I once had a guy
Speaker 1: on a first date say to me, you're so beautiful.
Speaker 6: I think he was pretty drunk, but I'm gonna.
Speaker 1: He literally sounds like this, You're so beautiful, I'd slay
Speaker 1: a dragon for you.
Speaker 4: And then stared at me really blankly. Then I still
Speaker 4: had sex with him.
Speaker 1: Of course you fuck of course you did. You're like, okay,
Speaker 1: so are you giving me attention? Oh my god, we're
Speaker 1: going They're in love, We're gonna have children.
Speaker 5: You had be a dragon.
Speaker 1: The last date I went on before Jordan told me
Speaker 1: I slept with him too. He told me that I
Speaker 1: had a really masculine energy and that I was a
Speaker 1: boy in my boy thinks I was a man in
Speaker 1: my past life. I don't remember you telling me this,
Speaker 1: And then he said you had strong legs.
Speaker 2: I still hooked up with him.
Speaker 1: This is Brittany and Laura just reinforcing bad behavior since
Speaker 1: nineteen eighty six.
Speaker 5: Okay, I've got one. Okay, this one's pretty cooked.
Speaker 1: I was on a third date and we decided to
Speaker 1: go camping for a night not too far away.
Speaker 2: This is cute, I thought.
Speaker 1: I pictured toasting marshmallows over a fire under the stars
Speaker 1: and making love outside. I've watched too many movies. Obviously. Firstly,
Speaker 1: it rained, so all that went out the window. We
Speaker 1: went to bed in our separate sleeping bags, which at
Speaker 1: first I thought was a little off. I thought we
Speaker 1: would just be super cute and snuggle all night. This
Speaker 1: thought process soon changed drastically. In the middle of the night,
Speaker 1: I woke up feeling really uncomfortable. I have ibsu see,
Speaker 1: and I felt a pain in my tummy, so I
Speaker 1: was thinking, ooh, I probably need to go to the toilets.
Speaker 1: Then I felt something wet in my pants, thinking oh, great,
Speaker 1: now I have my period too. I reached into check,
Speaker 1: wanting to be sure.
Speaker 2: That it was my period.
Speaker 1: I know this sounds gross, but I didn't want to
Speaker 1: get up in the cold and wet if I didn't
Speaker 1: actually need to. I touched it and pulled my hand out,
Speaker 1: only to discover I had shit in my sleep, in
Speaker 1: my undies and in my sleeping bag. My date was
Speaker 1: literally lying next to me, and I was a ship burrito.
Speaker 1: We shit on one hand. I tried to frantically escape
Speaker 1: my sleeping bag with only one good hand and find
Speaker 1: my way out of the tent. I made it out
Speaker 1: and ran through the rain to the toilet. So now
Speaker 1: I was a soaking, wet ship burrito. I cleaned myself up,
Speaker 1: threw my undies out and tried to sneak back in,
Speaker 1: thinking out I escaped successfully. In the morning when we
Speaker 1: woke up, my date said, oh my god, all I
Speaker 1: could smell was shit all night.
Speaker 5: The baby next door must have been eating a dead animal.
Speaker 2: Haha.
Speaker 1: I'm ashamed to say I blamed the baby. We've been
Speaker 1: dating for eighteen months that I can't bring myself to
Speaker 1: tell him. Maybe one day after I've locked him down
Speaker 1: and married him, I'll tell him. I shat my pants
Speaker 1: when I said date. That's so uncomfortable. You know, I
Speaker 1: was trying to think of embarrassing things that I've done
Speaker 1: on a date, and the only thing I could think of, well,
Speaker 1: I'm actually it's a lie. The only thing I could
Speaker 1: think of that I hadn't shared with you guys yet.
Speaker 6: So this is the guy.
Speaker 1: If you've been a O Dear listener, you will remember
Speaker 1: I told you the story about a guy I dated
Speaker 1: for like a year.
Speaker 6: We were in a situation ship.
Speaker 1: He never ever actually wanted to confirm to be my boyfriend.
Speaker 1: Surprising why Yeah, sure, he was dating five other people.
Speaker 8: No.
Speaker 1: I think it was just because I was such a
Speaker 1: hot mess of a person at the time.
Speaker 6: So at the.
Speaker 1: Time, like I went through this period. I didn't have
Speaker 1: IBS because I had all the tests done. But there
Speaker 1: was something wrong with me. Okay, shatt, there was something
Speaker 1: wrong with me. I don't know what it was. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I'd gone over to his house for a date. We'd
Speaker 1: only been dating for a couple of weeks and it
Speaker 1: was very casual at this point in time, and he
Speaker 1: lived in a tiny one bedroom studio where the bathroom
Speaker 1: was in the bedroom, so like the bathroom there's no escaping,
Speaker 1: and then the lounge where the TV is was directly
Speaker 1: outside the bedroom was this time a little contained apartment. Anyway,
Speaker 1: we were sitting there watching a movie and he cooked dinner.
Speaker 1: He was a chef, and I could feel my stomach
Speaker 1: just doing backlits, and I was like, oh God.
Speaker 4: Oh god, God, play for me.
Speaker 1: Anyway, I was like, I'm so sorry, I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: to go to the toilet, go to the bathroom. Like,
Speaker 1: unleash the fury.
Speaker 2: Did you have music on? No?
Speaker 1: I turned the tap one to try and like mask
Speaker 1: it anyway, so unleash the Fury.
Speaker 6: The fucking window wouldn't open.
Speaker 1: So I was like, oh my, oh my, you've got
Speaker 1: to be kidding me, So I just like, you know,
Speaker 1: you put some hands soap around, like trying to like
Speaker 1: fan it around. Anyway, nothing helped, and then I left,
Speaker 1: like I shut the bathroom door, I shut the bedroom door.
Speaker 1: I opened the bedroom window just in case. And then
Speaker 1: I came back into the little loundroom area, which was
Speaker 1: like attached to the bedroom, and I sit down next
Speaker 1: to him and we keep watching the movie and like
Speaker 1: I was gone for twenty five minutes, like I knows
Speaker 1: what I was doing. You're obviously doing a shit and
Speaker 1: he would have heard it because I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I was like, never go back in the bathroom.
Speaker 4: You need to renovate please.
Speaker 1: Also, don't like imagine anyway, we're sitting there watching the movie.
Speaker 1: He doesn't say anything to me. Ten minutes later, it's
Speaker 1: the middle of fucking winter, right. Ten minutes later, he
Speaker 1: just gets up and opens the balcony door, saddle fred subtle.
Speaker 1: I think I need to go home. Anyway, that happened.
Speaker 1: Turns out he never wanted to date me.
Speaker 6: It was so weird.
Speaker 3: So I think that segment encapsulates what dating in twenty
Speaker 3: twenty one can be.
Speaker 2: Like, am I right next up for the.
Speaker 3: Year in review is what I considered to be one
Speaker 3: of the most powerful interviews of life uncut. Laura and
Speaker 3: Britt had the pleasure of sitting down with India Oxenburg,
Speaker 3: who was a part of the Nexium sex cult for
Speaker 3: seven years. This sex cult was run by a guy
Speaker 3: named Keith Ranieri, and he manipulated people for twenty years
Speaker 3: under the guise of self improvement workshops and seminars, and
Speaker 3: he even recruited some people like Smallville actress Alison Mack.
Speaker 3: They formed a separate kind of subcult of Nexium called
Speaker 3: DOSS And this is India's story. Now, just to heads
Speaker 3: up before we get into this segment, we are going
Speaker 3: to be speaking about sexual assaults and coesive control. So
Speaker 3: if that's a little bit troubling you please give ahead
Speaker 3: about four and a half minutes and you can always
Speaker 3: call one eight hundred.
Speaker 8: Respect Well, there's what DOS was, and there was what
Speaker 8: we were told DOS was, and those were two entirely
Speaker 8: different things.
Speaker 9: So what DOS was was a.
Speaker 8: Recruiting mechanism for Keith to enslave and use women for
Speaker 8: his own benefit, whatever it was financially, sexually, for power, whatever.
Speaker 8: That's really the basis of what DOS was what we
Speaker 8: believe DOS was was a women's empowerment group that was
Speaker 8: going to be one on one coaching and that was
Speaker 8: going to help us grow and become stronger empowered women,
Speaker 8: using a sort of sisterhood to achieve that, and that
Speaker 8: it was going to be a secret because there were
Speaker 8: going to be things that we were going to do
Speaker 8: that was uncomfortable and kind of fringe that I was
Speaker 8: okay with because I was open to it, but I
Speaker 8: was also riding on the tail of five years of
Speaker 8: grooming to get me to that place of saying yes
Speaker 8: to something so vague and so nefarious. Ultimately, I never
Speaker 8: knew anything about the details of the brand.
Speaker 9: When I was recruited.
Speaker 8: I was told that there would be a brand or
Speaker 8: a tattoo, and that it would be small, and I
Speaker 8: was okay with that.
Speaker 9: I have a couple tattoos myself.
Speaker 8: There were so many things that were concealed from us
Speaker 8: in the recruiting process that it was difficult to actually
Speaker 8: make an informed decision, And we were also made to
Speaker 8: give collateral in order to receive more information about the
Speaker 8: secret group. So you're already compromised before you've said yes.
Speaker 1: I think it's important for us to highlight that if
Speaker 1: you haven't watched it yet, we do mention the name
Speaker 1: Alison Mac a few times.
Speaker 5: Mac was an actress.
Speaker 1: Alison Mack was an actress, someone that I watched growing up.
Speaker 1: She was in Smallville. I knew her, I loved her.
Speaker 1: But I guess she was this person that introduced you
Speaker 1: to this secret society DOS and she was your master.
Speaker 1: She was under Keith Ranieri. She was ultimately the one
Speaker 1: that was grooming you and putting these restrictions on you.
Speaker 1: And I guess did you ever hold any resentment towards
Speaker 1: Alison Mack or did you just see her as a
Speaker 1: loving guiding friend, like a mother figure, someone that looked
Speaker 1: after you, or was there a part of you that
Speaker 1: was like, why are you doing this to me?
Speaker 9: But at both.
Speaker 8: I was definitely afraid of her punishment and her disapproval.
Speaker 8: And because I'm an EmPATH, that really was an easy
Speaker 8: way to manipulate me. Like her being upset or unhappy
Speaker 8: was terrifying to me because I was in this in
Speaker 8: the Doss construct, her slave. She was my master. She
Speaker 8: was ultimately in charge and in control of anything that
Speaker 8: I could do. I didn't understand the gravity of that
Speaker 8: until later on, But there were moments where I thought
Speaker 8: she was my friend. It was not a natural relationship.
Speaker 8: We were forced while I was forced to live with her,
Speaker 8: and then from there I became her friend, but really
Speaker 8: out of necessity. There were things that we bonded over.
Speaker 8: But I look at it now and I have a
Speaker 8: lot less judgment for myself because I was surviving that
Speaker 8: and I was trying to make the best of an
Speaker 8: unpleasant situation and trying to cherry pick and make, you know.
Speaker 9: Make those even more better than they really were. I
Speaker 9: was really trying to make it better than it was.
Speaker 1: So how did things change for you once you had
Speaker 1: joined DAWs.
Speaker 8: Well, I felt like I had just been given this
Speaker 8: amazing secret, and I admired Allison because she was excelling
Speaker 8: so quickly within next and I was kind of stagnant.
Speaker 9: I wasn't moving as a coach.
Speaker 8: So once I joined DAS, I started to see things
Speaker 8: change in my life.
Speaker 9: And I thought that it was because of DS.
Speaker 8: I didn't realize that it was pretty much arbitrary and
Speaker 8: that it was being decided by Keith and Allison was just.
Speaker 9: The one, you know, doing the orders to me from him.
Speaker 8: I didn't really understand the connection early on, but I
Speaker 8: thought that I was growing and I thought that I
Speaker 8: was improving, and I actually believed that it was because
Speaker 8: of DOS so was it was hard to make the distinction.
Speaker 3: Another one of our favorite moments from twenty twenty one
Speaker 3: comes from the vibrant and vivacious M Carrie. And Carrie
Speaker 3: is the girl who fell from the sky at twenty
Speaker 3: years old. She was skydiving in Switzerland on what was
Speaker 3: meant to be an adventure of a lifetime, and her
Speaker 3: parachute child and it left her paralyzed from the waist
Speaker 3: down where she was told she probably wouldn't ever walk again.
Speaker 3: This chat with EM it really shaped the way that
Speaker 3: I viewed my body. You know, I think all of
Speaker 3: us at some point in time would have struggled with
Speaker 3: a part of body image or maybe not liking a
Speaker 3: particular part of ourselves. And after listening to EM's chat,
Speaker 3: I just felt so damn grateful for everything that I
Speaker 3: have and for what my body could do for me.
Speaker 2: Here's the chat with M Kerry.
Speaker 6: There's a chance you're not going to walk again? What's
Speaker 6: that like?
Speaker 10: Well, they didn't even say there's a chance. They were
Speaker 10: just matter of fact, like, no, this is permanent, this
Speaker 10: is how it's going. And it was tricky because they
Speaker 10: the doctors could speak English, but we definitely weren't having
Speaker 10: affluent conversation, and it was harder to understand exactly what
Speaker 10: was happening. But yeah, when they said you'll never walk again,
Speaker 10: I just couldn't wrap my head around that because of
Speaker 10: just yeah, because of how fast things changed and how
Speaker 10: fast it went from a fun holiday to the worst
Speaker 10: thing I'd ever been through. I just couldn't wrap my
Speaker 10: head around that. And I didn't believe it. And I
Speaker 10: don't say that in a way it's like, oh, I
Speaker 10: never believed I could walk again, which is why I
Speaker 10: can walk again. I just mean I literally couldn't wrap
Speaker 10: my head around the fact that I would never get
Speaker 10: back on my feet and walk.
Speaker 2: Were you angry?
Speaker 6: Did you feel resentful?
Speaker 1: Like? I mean, I guess when you're in in a
Speaker 1: situation like that, it could be so not that it's easy.
Speaker 1: Nothing about that situation is easy, And I can't even
Speaker 1: put myself into your position to really understand what that
Speaker 1: would feel like. But I can only imagine there would
Speaker 1: be a part of you that's really fucking angry at
Speaker 1: the instructor or at the system that something had gone wrong.
Speaker 10: Weirdly, no, I mean I've felt anger, but only maybe
Speaker 10: in the past two years that all came up for me.
Speaker 10: But in the beginning, I never I'm not sure why,
Speaker 10: but I never had that mentality of like, why me.
Speaker 10: I just kind of thought, why not me? Like I
Speaker 10: chose this gud. I've that was a risk fair enough,
Speaker 10: so I.
Speaker 11: Didn't feel angry.
Speaker 10: I more so felt like the instructor was also so
Speaker 10: badly injured, and he, I imagined, would have felt so
Speaker 10: much regret and so deeply apologetic for what he had
Speaker 10: done that I thought that that's enough.
Speaker 11: I don't need to be angry as well.
Speaker 10: So no, I molso just hoped that he was okay,
Speaker 10: and I felt really bonded to him, weirdly, thinking that
Speaker 10: we'd both gone through this thing that no one else
Speaker 10: would ever, you know, experience like every element of what
Speaker 10: I knew obviously couldn't work anymore.
Speaker 11: I couldn't do the.
Speaker 10: Hobbies that I loved, So I felt like every aspect
Speaker 10: of who I was was taken away.
Speaker 11: So I thought, who, like who am I?
Speaker 1: And I guess going through a breakup when you know
Speaker 1: you go through something like this and you think the
Speaker 1: people who love you and around you're going to support you,
Speaker 1: and then being thrust into and I know that the
Speaker 1: breakup shouldn't be the thing to hone in on this,
Speaker 1: but I think there's a part of that that must
Speaker 1: leave you feeling like, well, now I'm fucking unlovable as well,
Speaker 1: you know, and then having to deal with like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I have this disability and the person who I thought
Speaker 1: wanted to be with me it came with caveats. He
Speaker 1: doesn't want to be with me anymore because of this.
Speaker 10: It's what I was in hospital in Australia, so it
Speaker 10: would have been within three months, maybe two months later,
Speaker 10: I'm not sure, but while I was.
Speaker 11: In hospital, but yeah, I did feel that.
Speaker 10: And being so young as well, he was my first
Speaker 10: serious boyfriend, so I didn't have Yeah, I didn't have
Speaker 10: anything else.
Speaker 11: To compare it to.
Speaker 10: And I thought, oh, if he's not gonna let me
Speaker 10: through this, and he knows me well, like who will
Speaker 10: When I really put in effort to healing emotionally and
Speaker 10: thinking I'm going to make life good regardless of what
Speaker 10: the outcome is with me physically, I just started to
Speaker 10: just notice things that I hadn't before. Like this sounds
Speaker 10: really dumb, but I don't think I ever realized that
Speaker 10: the sunset every single day and that I could choose
Speaker 10: to go outside and watch it like I I had
Speaker 10: just never thought about that before. And I think what
Speaker 10: really helped me, even though it was hard to go
Speaker 10: through at the time, was the fact that I was
Speaker 10: awake for the fall and that I have full memory
Speaker 10: of that, and I have full memory of me thinking
Speaker 10: I had ten seconds left to live. So going from
Speaker 10: ten seconds left to live to realizing I have the
Speaker 10: rest of my life, it just gave me such an
Speaker 10: appreciation and such a different perspective to look at life through.
Speaker 10: When I thought about that and I thought about how
Speaker 10: lucky I am, I was like, yeah, like, there's still
Speaker 10: a lot to be grateful for here.
Speaker 11: So I switched the perspective.
Speaker 10: From whatever I lost, like what, Yeah, I've lost my legs,
Speaker 10: I've lost my boyfriend.
Speaker 11: I stopped thinking about that and instead thought, what have
Speaker 11: I still got?
Speaker 10: And I realized I still have the use of my arms,
Speaker 10: I still have my brain, I still have my mind,
Speaker 10: I still have my family. And then I even started
Speaker 10: wondering like, Okay, is there anything I've actually gained from this?
Speaker 10: And at first I thought, no, of course not, there's
Speaker 10: nothing good that's come from this. But when I really
Speaker 10: thought about it, I realized I'd gained heaps, Like I'd
Speaker 10: gained so much strength that I never knew I had.
Speaker 10: I'd gained appreciation for my body, which I never took
Speaker 10: the time to think about. And I'd gained the knowledge
Speaker 10: that I survived something unsurvivable. This is maybe like a
Speaker 10: harsh truth, but so here's what I don't know. See
Speaker 10: for me, since my accident, I have not at all
Speaker 10: had any body self conscious issues like I like, I
Speaker 10: think I look great, love that. No, But let me
Speaker 10: tell you why. Because when I was in hospital, No,
Speaker 10: when I was on the ground after the accident and
Speaker 10: my leg weren't working. Before my accident, I was only twenty,
Speaker 10: but I was super fit, loved the gym, love to
Speaker 10: go running, so I had quite muscly legs, and I
Speaker 10: remember pre accident being like, oh, I wish my legs
Speaker 10: weren't so mustly. Whereas when I was laying there on
Speaker 10: the ground and my legs weren't working, I was like,
Speaker 10: I couldn't give a fuck what my legs looked like.
Speaker 10: I would take any legs regardless of what they looked like,
Speaker 10: as long as they worked. Like all I wanted was
Speaker 10: a body part that worked. So from that moment, any
Speaker 10: time I did have an insecurity on my body, I
Speaker 10: would straight away and be like, okay, but what does
Speaker 10: that body part do for me?
Speaker 11: And I would change.
Speaker 10: I would like flick the switch from just instead of
Speaker 10: looking at my body as an object to looking at
Speaker 10: it as like the vessel.
Speaker 11: That lets me experience life.
Speaker 10: So like if you don't like your eye color, think
Speaker 10: of what it enables you.
Speaker 11: To see, you know what I mean.
Speaker 10: It's just changing the perspective of what your body can
Speaker 10: do and realizing that the way it looks is the
Speaker 10: most like irrelevant part about any of it. And it's
Speaker 10: like you would never walk into a spinal ward and
Speaker 10: complain about the way that your legs look, or you
Speaker 10: would never go up to a quadriplegic who can't even
Speaker 10: move their hand and complain about a part of your body,
Speaker 10: or you never go into a burned unit and complain
Speaker 10: about your skin, you know what I mean.
Speaker 11: So it's just I don't know.
Speaker 10: I just gave me this confidence not to think like, oh,
Speaker 10: I'm the hottest person in the world, but just more
Speaker 10: so that it doesn't matter, Like it doesn't matter what
Speaker 10: I look like, so I don't put a focus on it.
Speaker 11: It doesn't even cross my mind.
Speaker 3: Man, she is so right. Em Care is just such
Speaker 3: a ray of sunshine. I absolutely loved that chat with her.
Speaker 3: Next up in our Year in Review. How could we
Speaker 3: possibly even contemplate doing a year in review without doing
Speaker 3: a big old shout out to our guy Maddie Jay
Speaker 3: for the Batch Uncut episodes that him and Laura did.
Speaker 3: Now to bring you behind the scenes a little bit
Speaker 3: for these ones. Man, they worked so damn hard on
Speaker 3: these episodes. They were often up I'm talking like early
Speaker 3: hours of the morning, late recording these and editing them
Speaker 3: so that you could have them in your libraries on
Speaker 3: Friday mornings.
Speaker 2: I could be a little biased. I think significantly funnier
Speaker 2: than the show. I don't know, you could be the
Speaker 2: judge of that.
Speaker 3: He was one of my favorite episodes of Batch on Cut,
Speaker 3: featuring the one only Maddie.
Speaker 1: J episode number eleven, Let's just jump straight to it.
Speaker 1: Hot and ready and sexy and can't wait to get unpacking.
Speaker 12: And The budget restraints continue here on The Bachelor, because
Speaker 12: on this episode we're going camping.
Speaker 1: It's nice that they've kind of pitched this is like,
Speaker 1: we want to know if the girls are outdoorsy, and
Speaker 1: they liked, you know, just.
Speaker 4: Get one with nature and get out there and get
Speaker 4: amongst it.
Speaker 1: But really it was the arts department being like, fuck, hell, guys,
Speaker 1: we cannot work under these restrictions. What have we got
Speaker 1: left alson tar poland and a couple of blow up mattresses.
Speaker 1: The goal camping, Get the jackals ready, I'll do us
Speaker 1: for a full episode.
Speaker 12: No one's gotta notice.
Speaker 4: Oh it was literally a full episode of camping.
Speaker 12: My school camp had more budget than this.
Speaker 1: Oh well, you know, like normally every episode it changes locations.
Speaker 4: Like you'll have a day that'll be on a yacht.
Speaker 1: And then you'll have it at the Batch mansion, and
Speaker 1: then you'll have a group date that's somewhere else entirely,
Speaker 1: like even just the traveling to and from dates costs money.
Speaker 6: They didn't have to travel.
Speaker 1: They literally just went pitched a tent and stayed there
Speaker 1: for the duration of an entire episode.
Speaker 2: I'm like angry for Jimmy.
Speaker 12: One of the scenes you can see the Batch mansion
Speaker 12: in the background.
Speaker 6: They're in the paddock.
Speaker 2: They're not really.
Speaker 12: You can see Asher sitting there in the driveway of
Speaker 12: the Batch mansions.
Speaker 6: Smoking a cigarette. He's like one of these idiots.
Speaker 5: Make them dance.
Speaker 1: When Jay and Jimmy are coming back to the cocktail party,
Speaker 1: they're coming back to the bonfire.
Speaker 6: The bush Dove.
Speaker 12: Is DJing, the glow sticks around, it's all kicking off.
Speaker 2: Flora Sheldon m.
Speaker 1: Alright, episode twelve, let's do it. There's only six girls
Speaker 1: left in the mansion. How did that happen so quickly? Oh,
Speaker 1: I've got an ideas. Because they keep doing double bpers.
Speaker 12: I mean, the sad thing is Laura. With all these
Speaker 12: double episodes, it does mean the amount of bat chunk
Speaker 12: cut episodes that we do together is going to be
Speaker 12: cut short.
Speaker 1: It also means that these episodes have to go for
Speaker 1: a very long time in order for us to cover everything.
Speaker 1: So I hope that you are maybe going for a
Speaker 1: long walk, maybe you're you're working at home and you
Speaker 1: just need some background noise and I don't know, maybe
Speaker 1: you just need some friends in your ears for an hour.
Speaker 1: Everyone needs a friend. Matthew Way laughing, at that. It
Speaker 1: wasn't even a joe.
Speaker 12: I know, I just didn't know. I didn't know where
Speaker 12: you're going with that. Everybody just needs some friends, everybody
Speaker 12: out there, Laura on a four class of wine. The
Speaker 12: thing about friends is that you need them, Okay.
Speaker 1: And everyone shoots the messenger because just going to get shot.
Speaker 12: People know, people in the long walks being like, what
Speaker 12: the fuck is Laura talking about mersengers and friends.
Speaker 3: Another favorite moment of twenty twenty one is when we
Speaker 3: got to meet the bloody legend that is Kath Kochal.
Speaker 3: Kath was a professional cricketer who broke her back twice,
Speaker 3: who had to learn to rewalk three times. She's also
Speaker 3: someone who has a bit of a tragic love story
Speaker 3: that led to her creating the Kindness Factory and really
Speaker 3: realizing how kind apps can change your life. But I
Speaker 3: didn't want to start with that story because Kath brought
Speaker 3: us what I would consider to be one of the funniest,
Speaker 3: accidentally unfiltered stories I have ever heard in my high life.
Speaker 3: So we're going to kick things off there, but just
Speaker 3: a bit of a heads up before we jump into
Speaker 3: this segment. There are mentions of suicide, So if that
Speaker 3: brings up anything for you. Please call Lifeline on thirteen
Speaker 3: eleven fourteen or skip ahead about seven minutes.
Speaker 1: We want to start the way we start every interview,
Speaker 1: and that is with your certainly unfiltered, your most embarrassing story.
Speaker 13: It's a great way to break the ice. Well, I
Speaker 13: feel like I'm just on a brain scan. There's so
Speaker 13: many to pick from. This could take up the entire podcast. Now,
Speaker 13: a good one that my friends love. Actually sounds really
Speaker 13: kind of wanky, But I'm motivational speaker. So to my
Speaker 13: day job and we'll get into waget a really unique story.
Speaker 6: But I was in the US. I got invited to
Speaker 6: a pretty exclusive event in the US, and I didn't
Speaker 6: really know what it was about.
Speaker 13: The way that the woman had explained it to me
Speaker 13: was that it brought together the world's most powerful and
Speaker 13: influential people and brands.
Speaker 6: And to me, it's sound of like a cult.
Speaker 13: And I was a little bit apprehensive, Actually I should
Speaker 13: do this event.
Speaker 6: But they said that'd fly me and my assistant.
Speaker 13: I didn't have one at the time, so my best
Speaker 13: friend got a junket to the US with me first class.
Speaker 6: All this kind of stuff and bells should have started.
Speaker 13: Ringing at this moment when I'm sipping champagne in first
Speaker 13: class and all that kind of stuff. And I get
Speaker 13: to this event and we're having a sound check the
Speaker 13: day before, and again things should have been making sense.
Speaker 13: The screens were bigger than any house I lived in,
Speaker 13: and I looked like an aunt as a four thousand
Speaker 13: strong audience it was going to be the next day
Speaker 13: because all these seats were there, and I was like, okay.
Speaker 6: The brief that I.
Speaker 13: Got were these people have everything they could ever want
Speaker 13: and neat, so you just bring humility, So bring yourself
Speaker 13: humble them.
Speaker 6: I can do that.
Speaker 13: And they said to me, I said how long have
Speaker 13: I got for this talk? And they said You've got
Speaker 13: eight minutes? And I said, wow, that's a big story
Speaker 13: to fit.
Speaker 6: Into eight and I normally get forty five.
Speaker 13: Any chance I could have fifteen just in the prep
Speaker 13: And they said, look the Dalla Lama and it gets twelve,
Speaker 13: so and I thought they were joking. I thought they
Speaker 13: were joking. I was like, oh, good one, I guess
Speaker 13: eight will do. And so I get there the next
Speaker 13: day and I'm in the green room and the Lily
Speaker 13: snacks and I love snack there's this woman sitting there
Speaker 13: like an African American woman, black woman, beautiful, stunning, and
Speaker 13: I was like, geesus, looks familiar.
Speaker 6: And I said, good a. I'm Cath and she said, Caath,
Speaker 6: really nice to meet. I'm Michelle and I was like, awesome.
Speaker 2: Fuck.
Speaker 6: I was like she's so beautiful and I go, it's
Speaker 6: really nice to meet you. And she said yeah. Likewise,
Speaker 6: what are you doing back here?
Speaker 13: And I said, I'm speaking today, I'm opening the whole conference.
Speaker 6: Said what are you going to talk about?
Speaker 13: I said, well, I guess my life's but essentially kindness.
Speaker 13: She said, it's one of my most favorite things to
Speaker 13: hear about and to learn about it.
Speaker 6: I was like, oh, that's truly lovely.
Speaker 13: I said what are you doing and she said, I'm
Speaker 13: on after you. And I was like, what are you
Speaker 13: talking about? And she said, oh, this is in twenty eighteen.
Speaker 13: And she goes and I don't watch TV or anything
Speaker 13: like that, and she says, I'm going.
Speaker 6: To talk about the Me Too movement. And I said, wow,
Speaker 6: I've heard about that and she said I'm sure you have.
Speaker 1: There.
Speaker 6: So she's sitting there.
Speaker 13: And she goes, she goes, hey, I'm going to go
Speaker 13: out the front. Do you mind if I watch I'm
Speaker 13: going to leave you here. I'd really like to listen
Speaker 13: to it you're going to talk about And I said.
Speaker 6: Of course, Like I said, I'll do the same.
Speaker 13: This is the finish, I'll run around like I really
Speaker 13: want to hear what you got to say. And I
Speaker 13: was like, what a wonderful woman. So I sweat starts
Speaker 13: and I'm like, where am I? Like, what's going on?
Speaker 6: I get out and I'm two minutes into.
Speaker 13: The eight that I've got start sort of sharing everything's
Speaker 13: gone really, really well. And then I look off center
Speaker 13: on stage to the right, and I was like everything
Speaker 13: just started to make sense.
Speaker 6: She's sitting next to her husband, Barack Obama, and I'm like,
Speaker 6: and I just go, holy fuck, that was Michelle Obama.
Speaker 6: What the fuck did I say? Did I swear? Oh
Speaker 6: my god?
Speaker 2: I'm my god?
Speaker 13: And I was like, where am I? And I looked
Speaker 13: to the left and it's the da la Lama. See
Speaker 13: You've ready all like the who's of the in this room?
Speaker 13: And I just shout myself like this like the sweat
Speaker 13: was dripping off me, and I nearly ruined the whole thing.
Speaker 13: And I was just like, so I finished the talk
Speaker 13: and had to apologize to her for basically saying, I'm
Speaker 13: a fucking idiot.
Speaker 6: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 13: I didn't know, like, of course I know who you are, like,
Speaker 13: of course it I just like I was so nervous.
Speaker 6: And she was like, it's fine. I loved your story.
Speaker 13: I got this like standing ovation and everyone's like on me.
Speaker 13: But I was like, holy shit, how has this happened?
Speaker 13: And yeah, my parents hate me for that. So like,
Speaker 13: how if you should bowing down to this person? I
Speaker 13: was like, yeah, I didn't really think so, but.
Speaker 1: She one hundred percent would have loved the fact because
Speaker 1: she would have thought you knew who she was and
Speaker 1: just didn't care or didn't clock it.
Speaker 2: She would have loved that.
Speaker 5: You treated her like normal. But I think this is
Speaker 5: so fucking.
Speaker 4: At least you didn't say you look familia. At least
Speaker 4: you didn't ask her what she did for a job.
Speaker 6: I was like, she's tout.
Speaker 13: I was like, she's stunning, like she's she's so beautiful
Speaker 13: when she's got the runaway so like people like that
Speaker 13: have an aura, but she genuine I've never really experienced
Speaker 13: setting on. I'm like, this woman is stunning and her
Speaker 13: voice and all that, and I'm like, yeah, she did
Speaker 13: look for me. I'm like, maybe it's just because she's
Speaker 13: so beautiful.
Speaker 1: Was there any kind of explanation or do you think
Speaker 1: he just wasn't ready to face a life on the outside,
Speaker 1: like starting again? Was he still not walking or where
Speaker 1: do you think it's stemmed from? After he's done? He
Speaker 1: seems to have done all the hard work. You literally,
Speaker 1: like you said you'd sign at leash, you're one day
Speaker 1: away from your life.
Speaker 5: What do you think happened?
Speaker 13: I don't know, And I think I've heard from a
Speaker 13: lot of I think we're called survivors of suicide, you know,
Speaker 13: when someone very close is passed away in that way,
Speaker 13: and there's so many different responses and it's such a
Speaker 13: relative experience, and I think it's such a personal experience.
Speaker 13: For Jim, it was so inexplicable. He was never going
Speaker 13: to be the guy that did that. Like Jim was
Speaker 13: never going to be the guy that did that, And
Speaker 13: so many stories out there like that, right, you know,
Speaker 13: smiling depression, all that kind of stuff. He didn't have
Speaker 13: an existing mental health condition, he didn't seem to be struggling.
Speaker 13: There was support available all those sorts of things, but
Speaker 13: there was so much going on for him that I'm
Speaker 13: still learning about today that still just gives me so
Speaker 13: much empathy for him and his struggle and all those
Speaker 13: sorts of things. And I think, even individually for both
Speaker 13: of us, we never know what another person is truly thinking, right,
Speaker 13: Like we can think that we do and we can
Speaker 13: say that this person is my everything and I know
Speaker 13: everything about them, but we all have little secrets like
Speaker 13: I do. I haven't told a lot of people certain
Speaker 13: parts about my life and things like that, and that's
Speaker 13: just because they're our own.
Speaker 6: And I don't think.
Speaker 13: He wanted to share that outwardly with anyone. His mum
Speaker 13: and I were incredibly close, and she didn't see it.
Speaker 13: There was no warning sign or anything like that. His friends,
Speaker 13: you know, I feel like I just I exhausted them
Speaker 13: post his passing just by calling them going. But when
Speaker 13: that moment happened, could he have meant that? And it's like,
Speaker 13: well he could have, cath, but we don't know mat
Speaker 13: like it's you know, And so I think he can
Speaker 13: run yourself into the ground, honestly, asking so many questions.
Speaker 6: All those photos that we've got together, are they and
Speaker 6: he's smiling in them.
Speaker 13: Does he mean that smile or was that moment as
Speaker 13: special to him as it was to me? And you
Speaker 13: rack your brain and you're never going to have.
Speaker 6: The answers to that.
Speaker 13: For Jim, A lot of people say you must be angry,
Speaker 13: and I was like, absolutely not. Angry is not an
Speaker 13: emotion that I felt towards him, certainly at all. I
Speaker 13: felt a little bit of anger towards myself. You know,
Speaker 13: why did I not see that coming? And this is
Speaker 13: a fair while ago now, But no, it was. If anything,
Speaker 13: I probably loved him more, not for any other reason
Speaker 13: than I just it was just so special.
Speaker 2: Kath is a really impressive woman.
Speaker 3: Her episode is something that I've found myself going back
Speaker 3: to quite a few times. I think I've listened to
Speaker 3: that episode about six times myself, just because I seem
Speaker 3: to get so much out of it.
Speaker 2: I think she is amazing. Coming up next as.
Speaker 3: A part of our rear in your View, as Brittany
Speaker 3: Hockley would say, is actually the girl who started accidentally
Speaker 3: unfiltered as a segment. It is Britt's sister, Sherry Hockley.
Speaker 3: Cherry is a nutritionist and she doing life on cut
Speaker 3: to talk about our somewhat complex relationship that we have
Speaker 3: with diet culture and with food in general and exercise.
Speaker 3: But her accidentally unfiltered was as Britt would say, a volcano.
Speaker 3: It was actually themed with coconut oil. I just think
Speaker 3: it's absolutely brilliant. Here is Sherry Hockley.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my at home loob story.
Speaker 14: So I'm gonna throw j under the bus here because
Speaker 14: it's happening to Jay, my my new fiance.
Speaker 9: Everybody.
Speaker 2: Sorry, Jay.
Speaker 4: We were getting getting.
Speaker 14: Down and dirty one night and we were doing massage Mondays,
Speaker 14: which is where we you know, is exactly what it sounds.
Speaker 14: We do a massage every Monday, which always.
Speaker 6: Leads to like beautiful, beautiful sex.
Speaker 14: We didn't have any loob, and I said to him, oh, babe,
Speaker 14: there's some there's some coconut.
Speaker 9: Oil in the pantry.
Speaker 14: Go get that because guys, and I'll give you a
Speaker 14: pro tip, coconut oil is not healthy for you. It
Speaker 14: is not a super food by any means, but it
Speaker 14: is a great lubricant. So I sent him to get
Speaker 14: the jar of coconut oil and he comes running back
Speaker 14: into the bedroom and I said, oh, hold on, like,
Speaker 14: I actually use that for cooking. Sometimes, so just put
Speaker 14: a small amount into a tupperware container, bring it back
Speaker 14: into the bedroom, and leave the rest in the pantry.
Speaker 4: So he does.
Speaker 14: He scoops it out, he puts it into a tough
Speaker 14: ware container. But I've really got to set the scene
Speaker 14: for you guys.
Speaker 6: So we use it.
Speaker 5: It's great, it's fine.
Speaker 6: It's a really good lubricant.
Speaker 9: Use it a couple more times.
Speaker 14: And then next time massage Monday rolls around. I'm in
Speaker 14: the dark, I'm naked. We're getting down to it. We're
Speaker 14: using the coconut oil. It's really great, you know. He
Speaker 14: gets the container out. It's everywhere, it's on me, it's
Speaker 14: in me. And then I was like, Jay, I feel funny,
Speaker 14: Like I feel really bitty, Like I can feel like
Speaker 14: there's stuff all over me.
Speaker 9: And it wasn't just coconut oil.
Speaker 2: What do you mean bitty?
Speaker 14: Like you know when like when you rub your hands
Speaker 14: really fast together and bits of skin come upon your hand.
Speaker 14: Oh yeah, Like I felt like there was sand, saw
Speaker 14: something on me everywhere. The little boobies were just like
Speaker 14: covered in bumps pretty much.
Speaker 5: And so I was like, just put the light on
Speaker 5: and so I'm laying their.
Speaker 14: Stark naked and he puts the light on and I
Speaker 14: am covered head to toe in black mold, the coconut
Speaker 14: oil on moldy in the.
Speaker 5: This is wrong on so many levels, called black molds
Speaker 5: literally toxic. You had that shit all over your body.
Speaker 6: He's fucked.
Speaker 4: It is so fucked.
Speaker 14: It had gone mold in the container and it was
Speaker 14: a dark and I couldn't see and he had literally
Speaker 14: massaged mold all over my body.
Speaker 5: It was in chunks all over me.
Speaker 2: It was disgusting. Thanks Art for our Year in Review.
Speaker 3: We are chatting with Hugh van Kylenberg. He is an author,
Speaker 3: he is a motivational speaker, he's a podcaster, and he's
Speaker 3: also the creator of the Resilience Project. Laura and Britt
Speaker 3: had a really can a conversation with Hugh about something
Speaker 3: that I think impacts all of us every day, whether
Speaker 3: we are aware.
Speaker 2: Of it or not, and that's comparison culture and the
Speaker 2: way that social.
Speaker 3: Media plays a role in.
Speaker 2: Our everyday life.
Speaker 3: And I just absolutely loved this moment with Hugh Van Kylenberg.
Speaker 1: It's because we do live in a society that is
Speaker 1: very consumer is driven, where advertised to constantly, like we
Speaker 1: are told you get the next newest best thing, you
Speaker 1: will be happier. I mean, there's every time that Apple
Speaker 1: brings out a new phone as a line around the street.
Speaker 1: Every time you know, added As brings out in new shoes,
Speaker 1: there's a line around the street. Like, we are very,
Speaker 1: very consumer driven in the society that we live in.
Speaker 1: But how do you think and I think just going
Speaker 1: on for something that you just said, Britt, this idea
Speaker 1: of comparison culture. It's something we talk about a lot
Speaker 1: on this podcast, and I think because we both work
Speaker 1: a lot in the social media world, we really do
Speaker 1: see how fake it is and how much people put
Speaker 1: on this.
Speaker 5: So fake facade.
Speaker 1: But at the same time we even get sucked into
Speaker 1: it from time to time. What role do you think
Speaker 1: comparison culture plays into into the mental health battles that
Speaker 1: people are having in this day and age.
Speaker 15: It has an enormous impact on us. It's an example.
Speaker 15: I was changed to someone the other day about this.
Speaker 15: If a friend come up to us and said, oh,
Speaker 15: I've got a promotion. I've been promoted at this job,
Speaker 15: Like they said it to us and they sat us
Speaker 15: down and said, I'm so excited. We would say I'm
Speaker 15: so happy for you that's just so, and we would
Speaker 15: feel that. But the way it's presented on social media,
Speaker 15: I think our first thing is to go, I'm not
Speaker 15: a promotion in ages, or gosh, I'm not getting paid
Speaker 15: that amount of money. The way that Instagram or whatever
Speaker 15: it is whatever on Instagram is probably the most common one.
Speaker 15: The way it's presented and packaged up. We just can't
Speaker 15: help it. Compare ourselves because we compare ourselves to everyone.
Speaker 15: So then we don't look at our friends and go, oh,
Speaker 15: my friends are promotion great. We go, that's someone else's
Speaker 15: doing better than I am. But if that sat down
Speaker 15: and told us face to face the good news, we
Speaker 15: would feel joyful them. So there's so much happening. And
Speaker 15: a very good friend of mine, Ben Crow, was talking
Speaker 15: to me about this the other day and we were
Speaker 15: talking about three main places we get our information consuming
Speaker 15: information from right now, social media, the news, and advertising.
Speaker 15: And if you just think about the three roles they
Speaker 15: play on what they do to us. So the news
Speaker 15: is skewed massively to the negative. So I think it's
Speaker 15: something like there's an index that measures positive to negative
Speaker 15: language in the news, and I think at the moment
Speaker 15: in twenty twenty one, it's something like eighty eight percent
Speaker 15: of what we hear in the news is negative. I
Speaker 15: could be a bit off there, it's close to eighty
Speaker 15: eight percent, so we got a lot of negative news.
Speaker 15: Social media is predicated off shame, so whenever you jump
Speaker 15: off social media, you feel regret and shame. You feel
Speaker 15: like I'm not enough. Basically that's what you feel like.
Speaker 15: And think about the amount of hours we spend on
Speaker 15: social media, that's the main thing we get from it
Speaker 15: is I'm not enough. And then we have advertising, and
Speaker 15: the role of advertising is to make us feel like
Speaker 15: if we had this certain thing, our life would be better.
Speaker 12: Now.
Speaker 15: According to research done not too long ago, the average
Speaker 15: amount of advertising impressions we receive a day is five thousand,
Speaker 15: so we get five thousand reminders a day that our
Speaker 15: life could be better. Plus we spend, however many hours
Speaker 15: on social media feeling like I'm not enough because I'm
Speaker 15: not like this person, and then we have this negativity
Speaker 15: on the news. I think that all adds up to
Speaker 15: the amount of anxiety right now in the world is
Speaker 15: just it's off the charts, and I feel like these
Speaker 15: three things have are a big part. I'm not saying
Speaker 15: turn off the news. We need to engage in what's happening,
Speaker 15: but just be aware that that that's like a deliberate
Speaker 15: like there's a lot of good news happening in the
Speaker 15: world as well. We got a tune into that as well.
Speaker 3: To finish off our review of twenty twenty one, we're
Speaker 3: going into an episode that was recorded quite recently, Laura
Speaker 3: and Brits that down with Chanel Bryan. Chanel Bryan is
Speaker 3: a life up.
Speaker 2: She's a member of our community.
Speaker 3: She's a mom of two, she's a wife. We're so
Speaker 3: incredibly grateful for the time that Chanelle took, which is
Speaker 3: something that she doesn't have very much left of because
Speaker 3: Chanelle has terminal cancer. And she joined the podcast to
Speaker 3: talk about grief, about leaving a legacy for her family,
Speaker 3: about advocating for your own health, to talk about gratitude, to.
Speaker 5: Talk about love.
Speaker 3: It was an incredibly powerful and moving conversation. So I
Speaker 3: can think of no better way than to wrap up
Speaker 3: twenty twenty one than by thanking new Chanel and really
Speaker 3: telling you that we are so grateful for what you
Speaker 3: provided for life.
Speaker 16: On cut, She's like, it's not good, it's a really
Speaker 16: bad prognosis, and I'm so sorry to do this to you.
Speaker 16: And you know, I don't want to be doing this
Speaker 16: over the phone and in this way, but it's terminal.
Speaker 16: Life just stops, you know, hence the docu series called
Speaker 16: Life on Standby. It just stops. And but yet when
Speaker 16: you're a young mum, it has to fucking go on.
Speaker 16: My kids are inside waiting for dinner, you know.
Speaker 1: Liked, I'm so sorry, Chanell. I just can't imagine what
Speaker 1: it's like to be in that moment. And like you
Speaker 1: just said, to know that someone has just literally told
Speaker 1: you that there's an end point for you and it's
Speaker 1: probably not far away. But you're like, well, I just
Speaker 1: got to get back into the spaghetti on the stove.
Speaker 6: Like my kids are waiting.
Speaker 16: That's it, and that's far off flight. I guess like, okay,
Speaker 16: I can't be around the kids right now. I know that,
Speaker 16: And luckily we've got a really good community around us.
Speaker 16: We did move away from family and we literally call
Speaker 16: the neighbors and the kids over right at the neighbor's
Speaker 16: house straight away, and Luke went and did that, and
Speaker 16: whilst he was away, he was trying to set all
Speaker 16: the kids. When he got there as well, so he
Speaker 16: was gone for about half an hour and I was
Speaker 16: just sitting there and the person I want to call
Speaker 16: his mum, obviously, and I can't call her. So I'm
Speaker 16: sitting there just with this intense fear, not knowing what
Speaker 16: to do, and desperately wanting Luke to come home, feeling alone, shaking.
Speaker 16: You know, You're just it's so difficult to explain. And
Speaker 16: I found myself getting drawn to write this death list.
Speaker 16: It sounds so morbid and so weird, but I just
Speaker 16: wanted to write notes in my phone of things that
Speaker 16: I needed to do, like and I think it was
Speaker 16: that mum and that like maternal part of me. It's like,
Speaker 16: if I'm going to die, my kids need all these things.
Speaker 16: And it just kicked in and I tried to almost
Speaker 16: block it instinctively. I'm like, God, just relax, just try
Speaker 16: and settle into this news. Don't focus on your death.
Speaker 16: Just yeah, and it just kept coming, and I was
Speaker 16: just like, honor this, it's coming for a reason. Just
Speaker 16: write down what you need to write down. And in
Speaker 16: that moment, I've still got it on my phone, you know.
Speaker 16: I wrote down things like writing letters to the kids
Speaker 16: on their wedding days and recording videos.
Speaker 12: On ye like me.
Speaker 16: You know, it's like it's just all those things that
Speaker 16: you know you're going to miss.
Speaker 1: Shelle, and you saying that you wrote this like this,
Speaker 1: did this death list come in this half hour that
Speaker 1: you're waiting for Luke? Yeah?
Speaker 6: Yeah, literally, such a mom shit.
Speaker 9: I couldn't not do it.
Speaker 16: I just I had to, and I felt like I
Speaker 16: wasn't honoring myself if I didn't. And you know what,
Speaker 16: It's grounded me. That list has grounded me so much
Speaker 16: through the uncertainty of his time, and I keep going
Speaker 16: back to it. And you know, I did that the
Speaker 16: other night. I had a night at Accommodation. Someone had
Speaker 16: booked me this beautiful night, and I was like, I'm
Speaker 16: gonna go and I'm gonna fucking write these letters and
Speaker 16: record these videos and do these things.
Speaker 6: It was hideous.
Speaker 16: It was the worst thing I've ever done in my life.
Speaker 16: And I didn't even last the whole night. I ended
Speaker 16: up calling Luke. I started getting hysterical and I was like,
Speaker 16: I can't do this, and then I couldn't breathe very well.
Speaker 16: It's in my lungs, so it's kind of everywhere in
Speaker 16: my lungs and they're just waiting for them to fill
Speaker 16: up with fluid effectively, so my breathing is a little
Speaker 16: bit more labored, and the cough, it's just gonna progressively
Speaker 16: get worse. And because I was so emotionally upset, it
Speaker 16: was triggering the physical parts of me. And until Luke
Speaker 16: said he's like, I'm just gonna come and get you,
Speaker 16: I just couldn't calm down.
Speaker 6: Until he was there.
Speaker 9: I just felt so far away.
Speaker 6: I was ten minutes up the road.
Speaker 16: So I've been told if I don't have treatment, I'll
Speaker 16: be lucky to see Christmas. So that's weeks away.
Speaker 5: I'm so sorry, thank you, Like.
Speaker 6: What can you do?
Speaker 16: You know, it's fucked, It's so fucked. But I can't
Speaker 16: control it. You know, I can control writing letters to
Speaker 16: the kids. I can control bringing forward our wedding vow
Speaker 16: and Yule to this weekend as opposed to in five
Speaker 16: months time. I can control my goodbyas and creating memories
Speaker 16: and traditions with the kids now, taking videos.
Speaker 6: So they're the things I'm.
Speaker 16: Controlling, and you know that's that Mum and me and
Speaker 16: I'm doing that, and that's all that I can do.
Speaker 16: So then Once I do that, I have to let
Speaker 16: go like it's the ultimate lesson in surrender, ultimate lesson.
Speaker 16: But yeah, look, I'm still hopeful. I'm realistic. I understand
Speaker 16: the type of cancer that I have. I understand the prognosis.
Speaker 6: I've accepted it.
Speaker 16: We're still looking into some interesting alternative treatments that I'll
Speaker 16: be starting literally tomorrow. There are very limited mainstream options,
Speaker 16: but I'm very much at a point of there's a
Speaker 16: clinical trial. I might be able to get into slim chance,
Speaker 16: but it will do anything for me, high chance that's
Speaker 16: going to impact the quality of my life, and there's
Speaker 16: no crystal ball. It might last months. You know, they
Speaker 16: get this shit wrong all the time. They do, they
Speaker 16: do they do. You hang on to that, but I
Speaker 16: have accepted that it's correct, and we'll see where we
Speaker 16: end up. But it's that limbo land of like quality
Speaker 16: over quantity, making special memories. I want to go out
Speaker 16: in my way. We're setting things up, having those fucked conversations.
Speaker 16: I want to die at home. I want the kids
Speaker 16: to be around. I want them to experience death in
Speaker 16: a way that's not mainstream. I want them to have
Speaker 16: these beautiful little traditions and things that they can do
Speaker 16: to be a part of it and to really understand
Speaker 16: what death is as opposed to mummy gets wrapped with
Speaker 16: a you know, as she comes over and then she's
Speaker 16: wheeled out of the room and then you go back
Speaker 16: home and she's just not there. That's not what I
Speaker 16: want for them at all. So putting the work into
Speaker 16: that as well is also another thing that's bringing me
Speaker 16: calm and ease at the moment in knowing that again,
Speaker 16: I'm doing all that I can to set them up
Speaker 16: to cope with this and deal with this in the
Speaker 16: best way that I can.
Speaker 1: You know, But you said something to me about boundaries,
Speaker 1: and you were like, do you know what? This last
Speaker 1: period has made me very very aware of my boundaries.
Speaker 1: It's made me very acutely aware of what's important to me,
Speaker 1: and if I didn't want to do it, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: fucking do it. And I was like, Yeah, there's nothing
Speaker 1: that's going to cut through the shit in life like
Speaker 1: knowing when the end is coming. Like what has this
Speaker 1: been like in creating priorities in your life? How do
Speaker 1: you navigate this next part and this next phase of life.
Speaker 16: It's so difficult to explain. It's the highs are high
Speaker 16: and the lows are low, and they're both there simultaneously,
Speaker 16: and the highs are phenomenal. I can't explain. I wish
Speaker 16: I could explain to you how beautiful the moments are
Speaker 16: right now. Like I've done therapy for years, I've been
Speaker 16: working on these things for myself, and you know, you
Speaker 16: have a breakthrough in therapy and you deal with these
Speaker 16: things and you're like, this is great, I can see
Speaker 16: where this has come from, and blah blah blah. And
Speaker 16: I spoke to my therapist the other day and I
Speaker 16: was like, we've been working on this issue for like
Speaker 16: a year. It's gone, It's instantly resolved, and all those
Speaker 16: things are just everything's just clear. I've never let love
Speaker 16: reach me in this way before, and I never knew
Speaker 16: that it was accessible in this way. Like I feel
Speaker 16: like I have been cracked open to my care like
Speaker 16: literally like a morbid way of saying it, but like
Speaker 16: corpse on a body, just cut open, and every single
Speaker 16: ounce of love is penetrating my entire body, my entire being,
Speaker 16: and to fully allow that in is magnificent. It is
Speaker 16: the most glorious thing I've ever experienced in my life.
Speaker 16: And to be able to share that with my family
Speaker 16: and my kids and to actually fully let that reach me.
Speaker 16: A bit of a take home message with that, and
Speaker 16: I'm trying to share that with people at the moment
Speaker 16: is this is actually accessible all the time. People around
Speaker 16: us do have the capacity to show us love in
Speaker 16: this way, but it's all our shit that gets in
Speaker 16: the way to block that.
Speaker 9: We block it.
Speaker 16: So many intricate moments that I've had that are just
Speaker 16: so beautiful at a time like this, when life is
Speaker 16: just fucked. To have the beautiful moments like that so
Speaker 16: clearly and so frequently just allows such a sense of
Speaker 16: calm and ease and peace into leading into this next
Speaker 16: transition for me. The more at peace I can find
Speaker 16: with this, I can come with this, the better it
Speaker 16: is for everyone around me.
Speaker 2: Wow, Chanelle is just a phenomenal woman.
Speaker 3: We actually have never received as many messages on our
Speaker 3: social media as to what we did after that episode
Speaker 3: with Chanel. I think she made a lot of us
Speaker 3: look at life through a different lens and we're so
Speaker 3: so immensely grateful for it. And with that, we are
Speaker 3: wrapping up our year in review twenty twenty one. That's
Speaker 3: what it was it was a whole lot of things.
Speaker 3: It was filled with a lot of good stuff. It
Speaker 3: was filled with a little bit of bad stuff as well,
Speaker 3: but we got through it together and I'm very, very
Speaker 3: grateful to have done it with you guys. That's it
Speaker 3: for twenty twenty one. We cannot wait to be back
Speaker 3: in your ears or your earholes, as Laura would say.
Speaker 3: In twenty twenty two. We've got a whole bunch of
Speaker 3: incredible guests coming your way. We got a few topics,
Speaker 3: and we will have an additional podcast to drop in
Speaker 3: the form of our radio show that is starting January fifteenth,
Speaker 3: I think is the dates, So we're going to catch
Speaker 3: you in like two.
Speaker 2: And a half, three weeks something like that. I hope
Speaker 2: you have a wonderful end of the year.
Speaker 3: And I just thought I would wrap this up by
Speaker 3: letting you know that I am recording this in a loundroom.
Speaker 3: It's my loundrooms and not bricks lund room. But I'm
Speaker 3: in my underwear in true life on CUF form, and
Speaker 3: I don't see much of that changing in twenty twenty two.
Speaker 3: You know the drill, tell your mum, tell your dad,
Speaker 3: tell your dog, tell your friend, particularly a self isolating friend,
Speaker 3: tell them about life on cut. It might just get
Speaker 3: me through some kind of lonely days that a lot
Speaker 3: of us are experiencing at the moment. And share the
Speaker 3: love because we love love.
Speaker 8: Bakandaba tagabata berbay karabayo.