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Speaker 1: Jonesy and Amanda's Well.

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Speaker 2: Our next two guests are lifelong friends and comedy partners,

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Speaker 2: and they're making a comeback to live shows after the

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Speaker 2: pandemic robbed them of an audience. Well fittingly, after the

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Speaker 2: year that they've lived through, they've caught their show disappointments,

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Speaker 2: but having them on the show today is anything but

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Speaker 2: Judith Lucy Denise Scott.

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Speaker 3: Hello, well, good morning, Good morning Sydney. People who never

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Speaker 3: cared about Melbourne when we were in lockdown this morning.

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Speaker 2: Is that how you felt?

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Speaker 3: Because yes, but how absolutely no.

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Speaker 1: Let's get this clear. It's how Judah felt.

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Speaker 2: Well as Sydney signed is we never knew how to

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Speaker 2: play it because if we said, oh, we're feeling for you,

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Speaker 2: it sounded patronizing. So how should we have done it?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 3: No, it was a low's low situation. We were going

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Speaker 3: to resent you no matter what happened. It was never enough.

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Speaker 3: I remember the day we went back into the second

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Speaker 3: lockdown with the you know, full on restrictions that curfew.

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Speaker 3: I got a text from a friend in Sydney and

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Speaker 3: I thought, oh, remember this and if Sidney he ever

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Speaker 3: goes through this, I'm going to send him exactly the

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Speaker 3: same text back. You know what the text said. It said,

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Speaker 3: is this the yoga app you were referring to.

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Speaker 2: Timing everything?

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Speaker 4: Whether we lived or died, Melbourne's always had a Melbourne's

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Speaker 4: aways had a chip on its shoulder about Sydney here.

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Speaker 4: And I know I'll just say this, I'll just say this.

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Speaker 4: I remember one I was the Grand Prix and I

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Speaker 4: was standing next to Mick Bloy and I said, geez,

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Speaker 4: I love Melbourne, and Mix says to me, I'll keep

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Speaker 4: your patronizing comments to yourself as I'm praising your city.

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Speaker 1: Well spoken.

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Speaker 3: But you know what is hilarious is the fact that

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Speaker 3: because of all the COVID stuff and obviously hospitality has

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Speaker 3: been hit really hard in Melbourne. So to keep the

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Speaker 3: numbers up, Melbourne's gone all Alfresco like we're trying to

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Speaker 3: be a bit Sydney. And can I just say, there

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Speaker 3: are many, many reasons why Melbourne hasn't been a big

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Speaker 3: Alfresco city up to this point, and by god, Melbournians

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Speaker 3: are ignoring every single one of them. We are sitting

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Speaker 3: outside on the street and we're forgetting. We're just ignoring

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Speaker 3: the crazy weather, the lack of a view, the fact

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Speaker 3: that it is often just downright unpleasant. I was sitting

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Speaker 3: outside having a drink, surrounded by parked cars and overflowing

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Speaker 3: rubbish bins, and I thought to myself, this is terrific.

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Speaker 3: And I knew that every Melbournie and sitting around me

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Speaker 3: was thinking exactly the same thing. And I thought, this

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Speaker 3: is a sort of mass delusion that is going to

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Speaker 3: bring this city back.

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Speaker 1: But on a positive, yes, yesterday, there are positives. For instance,

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Speaker 1: facial hair became quite an issue because it was seven

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Speaker 1: eight months where you couldn't go to a beautician, Amanda,

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Speaker 1: I'm looking at you.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't have stood it. I felt a luxury and

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Speaker 2: handlebar mustache at the best of times.

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Speaker 1: Well, this is the thing, and you talk about empty rolls,

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Speaker 1: you know, no toilet paper rolls on the shelf. You

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Speaker 1: try and get self waxing strips at chemist ware house empty.

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Speaker 1: So what was butte was when mandatory mask wearing came

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Speaker 1: into vote, because then I could just free grow the

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Speaker 1: goat and nobody saw it.

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Speaker 2: What are we going to see on stage though? What

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Speaker 2: kind of facial hair will you have?

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Speaker 3: Well, we're actually well, we may even be posing this

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Speaker 3: question to the audience because we like to do a pole,

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Speaker 3: and I think.

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Speaker 1: It's not just a pole, it's a hard hitting.

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Speaker 3: Oh yes, I mean it's a big issue that we

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Speaker 3: need some help with. And I think the pole is

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Speaker 3: going to be should we both start resuming shaving our

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Speaker 3: faces so we may even have the shavers on stage,

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Speaker 3: whether yes, we need to go.

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Speaker 4: Has that been quohed? That that rumor if a woman

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Speaker 4: shaves her face the beard comes back heavy? And the

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Speaker 4: other question is I've got a two part question for this.

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Speaker 4: The second but the Lady Shave when they brought that out,

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Speaker 4: was that designed to shave your face or was that

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Speaker 4: just for other.

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Speaker 2: Bits, well for your face?

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Speaker 3: No, it was And firstly, the first question about whether

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Speaker 3: it grows back, I mean, look at us, you're talking

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Speaker 3: to Ned Kelly and Santa Claus.

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Speaker 1: Actually, you know it was Judith Lucy who did get

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Speaker 1: me onto. I won't say that it's a little thing

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Speaker 1: that you shave your face. Yes, and you can do

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Speaker 1: it subtly, so your partner doesn't know you can actually

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Speaker 1: shave your face and they don't even know you're shaving

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Speaker 1: your face. That's how subtle this thing is. But it

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Speaker 1: was beautiful and smooth.

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Speaker 3: The night.

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Speaker 1: I did it. Next morning woke up.

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Speaker 4: Stubble, don't shave your face, so you're not going to

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Speaker 4: be with a cutthroat razor in a barber's chair.

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Speaker 3: Well, and can I say, even though I stuck with

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Speaker 3: the face shaving for a while, I mean, you know,

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Speaker 3: you can imagine from the neck down it was just

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Speaker 3: as a disaster. I mean if you could have seen,

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Speaker 3: you know, I mean under my arms, basically, if I

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Speaker 3: popped a couple of groovy beanies and some googly eyes

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Speaker 3: down there, you would have thought I had a couple

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Speaker 3: of bearded hipsters under my arms, just holding them hostage.

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Speaker 3: So we've been dealing with these terrible things, you know,

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Speaker 3: and I'm sure we will be sharing all of these

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Speaker 3: disappointments with Sydney when we're there.

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Speaker 1: I was watching some of the show coming from from

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Speaker 1: the Sydney Opera House last night, Fireworks performance, thinking picturing

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Speaker 1: Judas and I are just two small women covered in here,

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Speaker 1: sitting on sitting on a stage in that magnificent building,

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Speaker 1: and the pants.

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Speaker 3: It's going to be riveting. And the other thing is

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Speaker 3: we're very helpful when it comes to our audience. Well,

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Speaker 3: we have a couple of segments. We have a segment

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Speaker 3: called Lemons to Lemonade, where we help our audience solve

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Speaker 3: their problems. Well we don't, we don't. We've never succeeded,

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Speaker 3: we have an ever helped, but we try.

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Speaker 1: Yes, we do our very best in the journey. Oh god,

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Speaker 1: it's fun it.

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Speaker 3: Oh and well, we've got another segment call Matchmaker Matchmaker,

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Speaker 3: where we help people who are looking for love. Then again,

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Speaker 3: do we of course we don't. We actually just get

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Speaker 3: people to talk about being single. We sort of ridicule

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Speaker 3: them a bit, and then we send them on their way.

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Speaker 3: But we encourage people to participates for the meal.

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Speaker 2: Yes.

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Speaker 1: And the reason we've stuck to this segment is because

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Speaker 1: my son and his girlfriend live in Nashville, so there's

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Speaker 1: not a lot of work going for them. And they

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Speaker 1: did the music for the segment oh so much. We

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Speaker 1: must play.

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Speaker 3: Them and it's just beauty. And the other thing is

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Speaker 3: it winds up just all fitting in with our theme

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Speaker 3: because ultimately we just disappoint people, and the show's Let's

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Speaker 3: go full Circle is of course called disappointment.

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Speaker 2: Yes, the idea of two hairy women puoing their pants

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Speaker 2: on stage, you can't get.

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Speaker 4: Better than sitting beside a bin.

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Speaker 3: If you thought of that at the Opera House, wouldn't

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Speaker 3: pay money to see all of that? It wouldn't be crazy.

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Speaker 4: It would be And that's why it's on this weekend

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Speaker 4: at the Opera House. Disappointments. Go and see Judith Lucy,

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Speaker 4: go and see Denise Scott and you will be amazed.

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Speaker 2: Oh ladies, it's so nice to talk to you and

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Speaker 2: so great to have you performing live again in Sydney.

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Speaker 2: Sydney Opera House dot com, dou dot com for tickets.

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Speaker 2: Thanks Chicks, the Jonesy and Amanda's Gamnation