Speaker 1: Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands
Speaker 1: were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders
Speaker 1: past and present.
Speaker 2: Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
Speaker 2: recorded on Drug Wallamuta Land.
Speaker 3: Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.
Speaker 3: I'm Laura, I'm Brittany, and this is ask on Cut
Speaker 3: where we answer dark and you're burning questions. How are
Speaker 3: you feeling today? I'm great? Are you living my best life?
Speaker 3: Goalach scratch? Do like we edit your snorts out? Yeah? Snorts?
Speaker 3: You guys don't know this.
Speaker 2: I have really i have really tiny, tiny nasal cavities.
Speaker 2: I've like refrained from ever getting a what's it called
Speaker 2: when you get a not a nose job?
Speaker 3: Obviously you haven't had one of those. Laura wants to.
Speaker 1: She needs to get her sinuses clear. You don't know
Speaker 1: because producer Keisha and Laura edit out the snorts.
Speaker 3: But every every what do you reckon?
Speaker 1: The intervals areish like thirty seconds one minute, No, probably
Speaker 1: thirty seconds, every thirty.
Speaker 3: Six, every ten minutes, not.
Speaker 1: The fact that she thinks that every thirty seconds Laura
Speaker 1: has to do this thing.
Speaker 3: And I'm not even going.
Speaker 1: We're just talking about it. You go because your noise.
Speaker 1: No one wants to hear that, because you have problems
Speaker 1: with your nose. And this has been like this from
Speaker 1: the day I met. You're a snorter. And we keep
Speaker 1: saying to Laura, look, you know you haven't sinus. Probably
Speaker 1: let's get you booked in to go to the doctor
Speaker 1: to get them cleaned out.
Speaker 3: So we keep saying that.
Speaker 1: You need to go and get your sinuses. It's an operation,
Speaker 1: it's minor. But you were like, well, I don't want
Speaker 1: to go because everyone's gonna think I god nos job.
Speaker 3: And I was like, who cares?
Speaker 1: And You're like, well, actually, if I'm going to go,
Speaker 1: I want to know jump anyway.
Speaker 2: You think you give me a little ski jump at
Speaker 2: the end, or a little tidy just lift it, just
Speaker 2: lift it so it doesn't dip.
Speaker 3: Do you know what? Though knows, go and ask take
Speaker 3: a picture my ski jump. I want to look more
Speaker 3: like Brittany Hockley.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 3: I think back.
Speaker 2: In the day, there was once upon a time where
Speaker 2: I was like I'm gonna go and I'm gonna get
Speaker 2: this surgery and I'm gonna fix my broken nose. And
Speaker 2: then when I did The Bachelor, and then obviously my
Speaker 2: life became a little bit more public, I was like,
Speaker 2: I can never go and get the surgery now because
Speaker 2: everyone will think I got my nose done. And I
Speaker 2: don't want people to think I got my nose done.
Speaker 2: So now I'm gonna live.
Speaker 3: It's like the opposite.
Speaker 2: Most people go into the public life and then they're
Speaker 2: like they get surgeries and I'm like, I'm refraining from
Speaker 2: it for fear of people thinking I got one.
Speaker 3: But what does the matter of people think you got one? Anyway?
Speaker 3: There ain't nothing wrong with that. Nah, But I don't
Speaker 3: want to I'm all natural guys. Okay, well that's my brand.
Speaker 1: Listens to you snort constantly. I would love you to
Speaker 1: have a consult.
Speaker 3: In six months time. I'm like, howking a free nose job?
Speaker 3: Hey guys, really, Grid, this is surgeon. It was so good. Up,
Speaker 3: swipe up, just go get your consopt Okay.
Speaker 2: I have a question. This is not an ask gun
Speaker 2: cut question. It's just a life question.
Speaker 3: Yeah, do you reckon Sush's a dinner food? Absolutely?
Speaker 2: Nah?
Speaker 3: It's not, though, is it? It's like lunch food? You
Speaker 3: just asked me and I said yes, and you said
Speaker 3: it's not. It's like a lazy dinner food. Like, okay,
Speaker 3: we sushi.
Speaker 1: You know that people, the sushi chefs trained for like
Speaker 1: six years. It is not a lazy food. They literally
Speaker 1: trained for six years to be able to do sushi.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you're not ordering it on eats for dinner.
Speaker 2: You're not going to be like, what do I want
Speaker 2: for dinner tonight?
Speaker 3: Sushi? That's a lunch meal. I order it all the time.
Speaker 1: I go to sushi all the time for dinner, and
Speaker 1: I order it all the time for dinner.
Speaker 3: It is one hundred percent.
Speaker 2: What do you mean? It's not a dinner food. It
Speaker 2: is if you go to a Japanese restaurant. But if
Speaker 2: you're just at home and you're because you just can't,
Speaker 2: it's okay if the food's all deconstructed, if you have
Speaker 2: rice and then tariarchy next to the rice, and then
Speaker 2: Q coming next to that.
Speaker 3: But if you have it all together in a role,
Speaker 3: that's lunch. Just the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard
Speaker 3: you say.
Speaker 2: Is it? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 2: I had an argument with mad about this. We'll not
Speaker 2: an argument he wanted. Actually, we were both arguing the
Speaker 2: same point. So it wasn't an argument. We were agreeing
Speaker 2: for once, I just got confused.
Speaker 3: It was just a really passionate conversation.
Speaker 2: We had our girlfriends come over last night and they
Speaker 2: brought dinner and we had a great time. Was delicious ness,
Speaker 2: and Jess, I love you so much. Thank you so
Speaker 2: much for generously bringing dinner. But then they left and
Speaker 2: we were like, oh my god, sushi's not a dinner food.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you spoil a little brat. Do you
Speaker 1: know that's like the most expensive probably takeaway they could
Speaker 1: have brought you.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it was my birthday celebration. Did you enjoy it?
Speaker 3: It was amazing delicious? So what part of sushi do
Speaker 3: you not like? Vi dinner? The fact that it's in
Speaker 3: a roll.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: It just feels like a lunch food to me. Surely
Speaker 3: it can't be nice. You deconstruct everything.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I didn't unwrap the sush No, Sushi's one
Speaker 2: thing I eat whole.
Speaker 3: I don't unwrap it. That's just a mess. You don't
Speaker 3: even cut it. It's a whole log. You just seep. Okay,
Speaker 3: you've actually got a hole in your shirt. I'm looking
Speaker 3: at it now. Did you know that. Yeah, there's like
Speaker 3: a big hole down the side. No, that's where the
Speaker 3: thing goes through. That's the little it's a wrap around shirt.
Speaker 3: From here, it looks like you've got a big moth hole.
Speaker 2: Okay, we've started with miss snorting. We're talking about the
Speaker 2: hole in my shirt. You're a great Britain.
Speaker 3: You've got a beautiful nose. Oh, thank you. I actually
Speaker 3: do like my nose.
Speaker 1: Lots of people ask if I've had a nose job
Speaker 1: because I have quite an upturned So my nickname at
Speaker 1: school and I hated it was ski jump nose.
Speaker 3: Which is how I love it.
Speaker 1: Also, nickname is usually shorter, but ski jump nose is
Speaker 1: longer than brit So whoever came up with that was shit.
Speaker 3: Actually it was David Hall. I remember it. You David Hall.
Speaker 1: David Hall, if you're listening, which you are absolutely not.
Speaker 1: But if any of my friends listening to are friends
Speaker 1: with David Hall.
Speaker 2: Isn't it funny how you always remember the person who
Speaker 2: bullies you, like David Hall. It's always their full name,
Speaker 2: Like full name, you never go oh, I was bullied
Speaker 2: by Jasmine. It's always Jasmine. Why is it that you
Speaker 2: always remember them? As their entire full name. Whenever you
Speaker 2: talk about the person who bullied at school, it's always
Speaker 2: first name.
Speaker 1: Last night with us, who knows David was one of
Speaker 1: my best friend. He wasn't a bully, He just thought
Speaker 1: that was a funny nickname.
Speaker 2: But when you talk about anybody who you had like
Speaker 2: fights with or bullied at school, would you say their
Speaker 2: whole name or they're just their first name?
Speaker 1: Even like yeah, Because when I think about my first kids,
Speaker 1: do you remember yours? Mine was Chad DeMarco, whole name,
Speaker 1: first name, Bradley Thomas. You see, there's also my first.
Speaker 3: Boyfriend behind a you and mind granddad saw Oh.
Speaker 1: Chad was my first boyfriend and I kissed it behind
Speaker 1: the demountable. It's it was like this big event.
Speaker 3: You always have to hide, don't you your first kiss.
Speaker 3: Everyone came to watch. No, we didn't hide. Everyone came
Speaker 3: to watch. It was awful.
Speaker 1: They gathered around in a circle and they counted down
Speaker 1: three two ones because no one was kissing yet.
Speaker 3: It was in year six.
Speaker 1: Were the first one because I was caoed captain and
Speaker 1: I was cool and stuff, but I wasn't really cool.
Speaker 1: I was fake cool. I didn't want a boyfriend, I
Speaker 1: do you want to hold hands?
Speaker 3: I didn't want to kiss. Peer pressure you gave in.
Speaker 1: And when I say kiss, it was a leader. It
Speaker 1: wasn't a tonguey. You know how when you're twelve you
Speaker 1: called it tonguey.
Speaker 3: It wasn't that.
Speaker 1: It was just a kiss on the lips. But I'm traumatized.
Speaker 1: I can remember every detail of this scenario when I
Speaker 1: think back to it now, and I haven't thought back
Speaker 1: to it in a long time.
Speaker 2: I just want to hold me. Not that just you
Speaker 2: saying tonguey.
Speaker 3: What did you call it when you were like twelve?
Speaker 3: Not that? What'd you call it?
Speaker 1: That?
Speaker 3: A pash?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Kiss? I think most kiss. Yeah, it's so gross.
Speaker 1: I think my school called it like a t because
Speaker 1: there's a difference if you just either kiss with no
Speaker 1: tongue and if you had a tongue with the tonguey.
Speaker 3: That's what happened in Coffs Harbor. Everyone's tongueing in each other.
Speaker 1: I've never been to Coffs Harbor. Grow up and put
Speaker 1: them KORYA. Thanks forgot the same time. Okay, my sister
Speaker 1: is here visiting me, Sherry and her husband Jay. They
Speaker 1: are moving overseas in two weeks time, which is really
Speaker 1: sad for me.
Speaker 3: But I've been encouraging this move, like.
Speaker 2: I love it when everyone you love lives in another country.
Speaker 2: I don't maybe just the partner thing for a while.
Speaker 1: I am really encouraging her to go because her and
Speaker 1: her partner are in such a unique position where they
Speaker 1: both have different jobs online. They are the epitome of
Speaker 1: like you know when you're on Instagram, you used to
Speaker 1: look at these things pop up, being like I once
Speaker 1: worked fifty hours a week in an office, but then
Speaker 1: I became a digital nomad and now I'm living my
Speaker 1: best life and you're like, I hate you, it's fake.
Speaker 1: They are literally the epitome of that. They both change
Speaker 1: their lives work online and now they get to travel
Speaker 1: and work.
Speaker 3: It's amazing.
Speaker 1: But I've been encouraging her to go because she's gonna
Speaker 1: end up coming back, having kids, settling down, and then
Speaker 1: I don't want to say that's it, but life changes.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, your trapped forever, I said, the joy leaves
Speaker 2: your life were we establish that money.
Speaker 3: You'll never be happy again. So yeah, get your.
Speaker 2: Last holiday in because once you have children, it's all over.
Speaker 3: You can never holiday again. But you're fun.
Speaker 1: So I don't want her to go because she's my
Speaker 1: best friend in the whole world and I love seeing her.
Speaker 1: But I'm also like, man, go live your best life
Speaker 1: because one year, two years is going to fly by
Speaker 1: and you'll feel like you never went anyway, long story
Speaker 1: shot that had nothing to do with the story I'm
Speaker 1: telling you.
Speaker 3: But so they've packed up their house, everything's in storage.
Speaker 1: They are ready to move their entire life overseas and
Speaker 1: they've got no where to live. So they come with
Speaker 1: me for a couple of weeks, which is great. But
Speaker 1: she gets here last night and Sheridan's an amazing cook.
Speaker 1: So we went to the grocery shopping yesterday and we're
Speaker 1: coming back and unpacking all the food. I only had
Speaker 1: one job, and that was to go and get all
Speaker 1: my stuff for Delilah. Sheridan goes and gets all the
Speaker 1: stuff for you know, she's gonna make this amazing dinner.
Speaker 1: So unpacking the groceries at home, and this happened at
Speaker 1: the same time. I was looking over at sherry in
Speaker 1: his slow motion as she was eating. So she's unpacking
Speaker 1: all the stuff and she sees this delicious bag that
Speaker 1: I got.
Speaker 3: Of coconut ruff. You know when you can go to the.
Speaker 1: Nut section of the chocolates and you can put it
Speaker 1: in the little plastic bag of coals and then you
Speaker 1: scan the bag with a barcode. Yeah, so I'm delandful. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I had gotten a bag of coconut ruff. So
Speaker 1: she starts to eat them, thinking they're coconut ruffs, but
Speaker 1: they're not. They're pure dog meat. She's got a bag
Speaker 1: of Delilah's dog meat. So she's got this venison dog
Speaker 1: liver chopped thing that she thought was coconut ruf. The
Speaker 1: whole thing's gone in her mouth and she's just dry
Speaker 1: because have you smelt that shit that She's literally it's
Speaker 1: all over the ground and I'm in I cannot breathe.
Speaker 3: I'm like, what are you doing? And she's just ate
Speaker 3: pureed liver. She goes, I thought it was a coconut ruff.
Speaker 3: That is messed up. That is so I feel so sorry.
Speaker 1: But the good thing about this is in all honesty Delilah,
Speaker 1: only it's good food.
Speaker 2: So it's like, I think this such a silky coat.
Speaker 2: Sherion's coat is so silky this morning.
Speaker 1: You should have seen what sho her hair looks amazing anyway,
Speaker 1: So don't make that mistake. Don't go and eat.
Speaker 3: Dog food thinking that it's coconut.
Speaker 2: Right. I feel like this happens in your household a lot,
Speaker 2: like you're using dog shampoo eating dog food.
Speaker 1: Yes, because Duaia was my entire life. She takes over
Speaker 1: my entire life. I have to move into a bigger
Speaker 1: house for Delilah.
Speaker 3: She just goes anyway.
Speaker 1: Look, I wanted to talk to you about something else.
Speaker 1: An ultra runner, believe it or not, like a marathon runner.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you know, I love my running. Let's go.
Speaker 1: Well, there's a woman named doctor Josiah zak Zouski. Now
Speaker 1: that's probably not definitely butchered, that's definitely not.
Speaker 3: There's a doctor and that's definitely not her name. That's
Speaker 3: definitely it.
Speaker 1: Yeah it's not her name, but like that, I mean,
Speaker 1: that's it. She was running like an ultra marathon in Liverpool,
Speaker 1: like Manchester and Liverpool in the UK. And she came
Speaker 1: in third, which is incredible. Yeah on the podium. Yeah,
Speaker 1: amazing because you've got to train so hard. She took
Speaker 1: the award, she took the glory, she had a moment,
Speaker 1: she got the.
Speaker 3: Photos, shook the champagne bottle.
Speaker 1: She did it all because third is pretty incredible. But
Speaker 1: then when they go back to look at the data,
Speaker 1: because when you're a runner in these competitions, you wear
Speaker 1: like a GPS tracker and it stores data for on everything,
Speaker 1: your location, It stores how fast you're going, like because
Speaker 1: people like to clock how fast they go per hour.
Speaker 3: So oh yeah, you think this.
Speaker 2: I don't run. Matt is a hardcore runner. He's on Strava.
Speaker 2: He talks about his Strava runs all the time. He
Speaker 2: talks about how many splits he does, his one kilometer
Speaker 2: minutes in.
Speaker 3: Well perfect, this was Strava. Yeah, Strava, I get it.
Speaker 3: Every runner uses it. Do you know how fast he
Speaker 3: does a kilometer four minutes something? To hear super fast?
Speaker 1: Oh okay, Well this woman's data when they tracked it
Speaker 1: was one point six kilometers every one minute and forty seconds.
Speaker 3: Wow, so she's superwoman.
Speaker 2: She was at lightning speeds anyway, so it's sound of
Speaker 2: live I mean the speed of light. So they were like,
Speaker 2: whh my god, we need to speak to this woman.
Speaker 1: How she running one point six kilometers one minute of
Speaker 1: forty seconds? So they get all the data and they
Speaker 1: see that all of a sudden her pace picked up astronomically.
Speaker 1: They also check her heart beat and her heartbeat was
Speaker 1: not high, so they're like.
Speaker 3: How are you running this far?
Speaker 1: What she did was halfway through the race, a friend
Speaker 1: picked her up in the car, and then she got
Speaker 1: out of the car at the end and then ran.
Speaker 3: And finished and came third.
Speaker 1: So she cheated and then still took the glory. And
Speaker 1: when they asked her, they were like, how did you
Speaker 1: run so fast? How are you running at a minute
Speaker 1: and your heart rate wasn't gone up. She's like, oh,
Speaker 1: you got me, I got a lift.
Speaker 3: She fucking cheated, but she wait, wait, she took the medal.
Speaker 2: She stood on the podium, and then when she got busted,
Speaker 2: she was like.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yes, she took it.
Speaker 1: She was going to own it. And then she started
Speaker 1: to say, oh, I don't know how it happened. I
Speaker 1: wasn't cheating.
Speaker 3: I was going to finish.
Speaker 1: I was pulling out of the race, and I was
Speaker 1: trying to tell and adjudicator that I was pulling out
Speaker 1: of the race, and all of a sudden I was
Speaker 1: at the end, was.
Speaker 2: Thrusting, I was running past the finish line, and then
Speaker 2: a medal was in my handed. It just really spiraled
Speaker 2: out of control. Do you know what I think is
Speaker 2: the most alarming part of this whole story. It said
Speaker 2: she's a doctor, and that's one person you don't want
Speaker 2: to cut corners.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, that is completely accurate. And then then the poor
Speaker 1: woman that came forth, she was actually.
Speaker 3: Supposed to come third, obviously, and.
Speaker 1: She's really upset and she literally said, but what she's
Speaker 1: most upset about is that you took my moment on
Speaker 1: the podium, which is fair because they trained so hard
Speaker 1: for that.
Speaker 2: But yeah, part of me is like, I enjoy the dedication.
Speaker 2: I enjoy the fact that she was like, you know what,
Speaker 2: instead of pulling out of this race, better finish it.
Speaker 1: She admitted that it was a massive error in accepting
Speaker 1: the trophy, and then she said, quote, I hold my
Speaker 1: hands up. I should have handed them back and not
Speaker 1: had pictures. But I was feeling unwell and spaced out
Speaker 1: and not thinking clearly. Yes, it would have been a
Speaker 1: tough drive. I'm an idiot. I want to apologize to
Speaker 1: mel who came third. It wasn't malicious, it was a miscommunication.
Speaker 3: I would never.
Speaker 1: Purposefully cheat, and this was not a target race, but
Speaker 1: I don't want to make excuses you did purposely cheat.
Speaker 3: I also like that she was spaced out and feeling unwell,
Speaker 3: which would makes sense if she ran on marathon.
Speaker 1: But also, your friend picked you up, like because he's premeditating,
Speaker 1: you're your friend to pick you up or finish the race.
Speaker 2: If you were spaced out and not able to comprehend
Speaker 2: what you were doing, wouldn't your friends say, hey, baby,
Speaker 2: you didn't actually run it probably shouldn't stand up there,
Speaker 2: Time to come down.
Speaker 3: Have you cheated in anything? Yeah? I cheated once in
Speaker 3: what in a spelling test, one that was significant or
Speaker 3: just like a spelling tester class, not just a spelling
Speaker 3: test in class. But it backfired because I cheated on
Speaker 3: the girl next to me.
Speaker 1: Her name is Melinda Turmbul. This is in year five
Speaker 1: or six, so it was a spelling test. And there's
Speaker 1: one word I looked at at her. She was always
Speaker 1: the smartest in the class. She was very very good
Speaker 1: at everything and especially writing. And the word was people.
Speaker 1: I'll never forget people. And I looked out over at
Speaker 1: her because I wasn't sure, and she had written PO
Speaker 1: P P L E two piece, and so I copied it,
Speaker 1: and then I nearly got every question right, but I
Speaker 1: got people wrong.
Speaker 3: Melinda must have known I used to cheat off her.
Speaker 1: Melinda, No, I think she knew that I was cheating,
Speaker 1: so she must have thrown spanner in the works written
Speaker 1: the wrong word, so I copied it and then put
Speaker 1: the right one. Cross it out when I didn't see it,
Speaker 1: says me, right, it was a big deal to.
Speaker 3: Me, Like I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Oh yeah, Well, why
Speaker 3: don't we talk about what you cheated on?
Speaker 1: I cheated on my HC exactly way better than you
Speaker 1: for spelling pass way worse.
Speaker 3: To go. Like, if you're going to do it, go hard,
Speaker 3: go for the long, full hog, because I don't cheat
Speaker 3: when it matters.
Speaker 2: I cheated on my HC. I'll admit it because you
Speaker 2: know what, it's been long enough now.
Speaker 1: And I imagine if they came and took it back
Speaker 1: from you and you lost your whole cares.
Speaker 2: I spent so much money at university. I don't use
Speaker 2: any of it, so I don't really care. I mean,
Speaker 2: I'm not going to sit here and tell people to
Speaker 2: do it, but like, I don't feel.
Speaker 3: Guiled for it, But how did you do it? Because
Speaker 3: I mean, my school is pretty strict on like making
Speaker 3: sure you didn't cheat.
Speaker 2: I cheated in maths, so you know how. I don't
Speaker 2: know what it's like anymore. I think it's called the
Speaker 2: atah now. But back in my day, you know, and
Speaker 2: I generation ago, I was in stand in maths, which
Speaker 2: you know, it was the most basic maths that you
Speaker 2: could do, and you still made it because I am
Speaker 2: so bad at maths. It was an elective. I don't
Speaker 2: know why I had chosen to do it. I think
Speaker 2: I just assumed that maths was something that was so important.
Speaker 2: I've gotten through my entire really, I've gone through my
Speaker 2: entire adult life without really using maths.
Speaker 1: We had to change the clock, remember at the live show,
Speaker 1: because you couldn't read the clock.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that's because I really struggle with numbers.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just like a digital you needed it
Speaker 1: to say like ten forty.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, anyway, I can read a normal clock. I
Speaker 2: can read an analog clock, but it just takes me
Speaker 2: a lot longer to read it. I have to sort
Speaker 2: of sit there and go, Okay, what does that say.
Speaker 2: It's not instantaneous for me, which I know it is
Speaker 2: for a lot of people. Cool numbers is just not
Speaker 2: my sailing, never has been anyway standard math. So when
Speaker 2: you went in to do your maths exam, you couldn't
Speaker 2: take any of the formulas with you, so you know
Speaker 2: how you had to kind of know that.
Speaker 3: I honestly couldn't tell you one single maths formula now,
Speaker 3: but you had to know all C squared whatever, Yeah,
Speaker 3: pythager x over y equal seat. You had to know
Speaker 3: those in order to be able to do the sums.
Speaker 3: So you had to have memorized all of the theories. Yeah.
Speaker 2: No, my brain was like, sorry, we're not committing any
Speaker 2: of that to memory. I couldn't remember a single one.
Speaker 2: You couldn't take them in with you. You didn't have
Speaker 2: that paper. So what I did is you were allowed
Speaker 2: to take blank paper or lined paper into your exam.
Speaker 2: So I got a pad and on the inside page
Speaker 2: I scored like I wrote it really heavy, and then
Speaker 2: I ripped off the top page so underneath was all
Speaker 2: of the formulas scored scored into the paper.
Speaker 3: That's actually so smart and it worked so well. I
Speaker 3: did it for my exams. Whole essays. You've taken whole
Speaker 3: essays in did you not all of them? A lot
Speaker 3: past your h No, I've got I got in the nineties. Guys, well.
Speaker 2: I got in the top bed. Don't tell anyone. Yeah, anyway,
Speaker 2: that's gonna end up in a daily now you just
Speaker 2: the whole nation. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Look, but if you're gonna do something, do it right.
Speaker 3: You're gonna cheat on an exam, cheat on the big one. No,
Speaker 3: you cheat on people in y four you don't cheat
Speaker 3: on you don't cheat on people ever. No, people is
Speaker 3: the word I cheated on. Peop. You don't cheat, you idiot.
Speaker 3: Keep up with a story woman of advice where I'm like,
Speaker 3: don't cheat. I'm like, no, you cheat on people. Yeah.
Speaker 2: My ex was listening to this and he was like,
Speaker 2: see Brittany says it's okay to cheat with people.
Speaker 1: It was fine, Okay, Well, let's do our vibe one subscribe.
Speaker 3: Do you have a vibe for the week.
Speaker 2: Yes, I have a vibe. I have the possibly the
Speaker 2: biggest vibe I've had all year. Is it Abreeder No,
Speaker 2: actually I have two of those now. Once again, very
Speaker 2: grateful for the gifting, but no, my vibe is that
Speaker 2: Matthew Johnson, love of my life, father of my children,
Speaker 2: the most doting of Dads has just started a podcast
Speaker 2: with a guy named Ash Wicks, who is like quite
Speaker 2: a famous TikToker.
Speaker 3: Weirdly have not met him yet.
Speaker 2: And they've become best friends and now they do stuff
Speaker 2: together and they like love each other and they go.
Speaker 3: To comedy nights and things.
Speaker 2: Oh, they're like they like best friends and it's super
Speaker 2: cute and he just met it's an adult best friends. No,
Speaker 2: they've been friends for a while. They've been doing content together. Oh,
Speaker 2: he's the one in his videos. He's the other guy
Speaker 2: in the dad video. He always wears like a t
Speaker 2: tail on his head and imitates his wife.
Speaker 3: That's what he does.
Speaker 2: He wears a teatail to pretend that he's got long
Speaker 2: hair like his wife, and he imitates April. Anyway, he
Speaker 2: does very very funny instagrams ashes his name. But the
Speaker 2: thing I'm recommending is that Matt and Ash just brought
Speaker 2: out their very first episode of Two Doting Dads, and
Speaker 2: I have heard it and it is fucking hilarious.
Speaker 3: So if you have listened to Matt on Batch on
Speaker 3: cut and you've ever.
Speaker 2: Thought, God, I'd like a little bit more of him
Speaker 2: in my life, go and have listened to the episode.
Speaker 1: Is a parenting podcast if it's two doting dads, Like
Speaker 1: I'm using my powers of deduction.
Speaker 2: Okay, I feel like it's not a parenting podcast. In
Speaker 2: terms of good parenting advice is probably it's.
Speaker 3: Not you're not gonna be a parent, don't go to it.
Speaker 2: You're not gonna go to it to find out, like,
Speaker 2: what's this schedule for my child?
Speaker 3: But you would go.
Speaker 2: To it to find friends who are also fumbling around
Speaker 2: the world of parenting. So it's kind of like a
Speaker 2: daddy's group, except.
Speaker 1: Just for daddy's obviously, because they're both fuckingmedians.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's the relatability of parenting.
Speaker 1: So maybe it's the idea of like, maybe it's a
Speaker 1: dad gone for a walk when he's got his deal,
Speaker 1: he's got his baby strap to him, and he's like,
Speaker 1: I want to feel like I'm a part of something.
Speaker 1: I'm going to listen to this, like to feel like
Speaker 1: you're less alone in the journey.
Speaker 2: And I think the moms could listen to it too,
Speaker 2: Like I listened to it and found it really funny
Speaker 2: and obviously the two doting dads. A headline came from
Speaker 2: The Daily Mail, Maddy Jing, the world's most doting of dads.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, but you've actually just done an ode
Speaker 1: to the Daily Mail totally.
Speaker 3: He really played that into the sunset, isn't it.
Speaker 1: They probably trade miked. He probably has to pay them now,
Speaker 1: two doting dads. Okay, there you go everywhere you can
Speaker 1: get your podcast station.
Speaker 2: Yes, and now what is your recommendation, Britt. It's been
Speaker 2: out for a few weeks.
Speaker 1: It's I guess a docu series, but it's the marathon bomber.
Speaker 1: So you guys remember most of you remember some that
Speaker 1: a young I don't know the Boston marathon bombings.
Speaker 3: So this is a real life event.
Speaker 1: And the reason I'm recommending it is because I found
Speaker 1: it really really interesting in it. But there was a
Speaker 1: lot I didn't know about it, and I think it
Speaker 1: might be an age thing.
Speaker 2: Laura.
Speaker 3: I don't know if you remember the details of that, but.
Speaker 1: In our heads we were like, oh, a bomb went
Speaker 1: off at a race.
Speaker 3: I don't think I knew anything about it exactly.
Speaker 1: And when you watch it, it's wild how they find
Speaker 1: who it was, the events that unraveled in the capturing
Speaker 1: of the bombers. It was really fascinating and to get
Speaker 1: a lot of opinions from the people that were there,
Speaker 1: that were involved.
Speaker 3: There were things that were happening that I was like,
Speaker 3: I did not know that.
Speaker 2: Is this a one episode kind of documentary? Is it
Speaker 2: a series?
Speaker 3: Whatnot?
Speaker 2: Work?
Speaker 3: It? Is it on? We need more information here?
Speaker 1: It's Netflix. You could watch in one day if you
Speaker 1: want to do it's three EPs. It was interesting too
Speaker 1: to see the conflict on how an investigation should be run.
Speaker 1: So you know, there's a nationwide man hunt for these
Speaker 1: people that did the bombing, and the conflict between the
Speaker 1: FBI and the police on what should be released and.
Speaker 3: How they should find them.
Speaker 1: Because as a citizen, you don't realize how important it
Speaker 1: is information that's released, because it can cause copycats or
Speaker 1: it can cause people to run and hide and never
Speaker 1: find them. You can give too much information, you can
Speaker 1: give not enough, and something else could happen. You don't
Speaker 1: think of the intricacies that go into an investigation and.
Speaker 3: Try what There was conflict between the FBI and the police. Yeah,
Speaker 3: on what to be released.
Speaker 1: And they have some footage from street sort of cams
Speaker 1: of the bombing and they show the man that they
Speaker 1: ended up being the bomber. They capture him on camera,
Speaker 1: So he walks up to the side of the street
Speaker 1: where he's watching the marathon runners and there's people around it.
Speaker 1: The reason they know it's him, he's got a white
Speaker 1: cap on. But he walks up and stands there. Everything
Speaker 1: looks normal, and he has a backpack in his hand.
Speaker 1: You hear one bomb go off just down the road.
Speaker 1: That's not on camera, but you hear it, and then
Speaker 1: you see people start to panic, not knowing what's happening.
Speaker 1: But as soon as the bomb goes off, so everyone
Speaker 1: looks towards the bomb, he looks the other way and
Speaker 1: he's very calm, and that's the first part where you're like,
Speaker 1: whoever that man was knew that was about to happen.
Speaker 3: And then he walks the opposite.
Speaker 1: Direction, really calmly. He doesn't look like he has a
Speaker 1: backpack in his hand anymore. And then as the view
Speaker 1: it's really confronting because you think, oh my god, any second,
Speaker 1: that bag's going to go off, and it does. So
Speaker 1: he walks away and you see that. You don't actually
Speaker 1: see what happens after it, but capturing these last moments
Speaker 1: of a real life of Vane's very I don't know
Speaker 1: what the right word humbling, It makes you grateful for
Speaker 1: your life. I'm getting emotional talking about it when I'm
Speaker 1: thinking of it, But I just think it's one of
Speaker 1: those things that I think everybody should.
Speaker 3: Probably watch Netflix. H get honest, Yeah, not wanted.
Speaker 2: All right, let's get into these questions. Question number one,
Speaker 2: At what point does thinking about an X go from
Speaker 2: curious you know, you might look them up on socials
Speaker 2: see what they're up to, to completely unhealthy?
Speaker 3: How do you break the thought pattern?
Speaker 2: By way of background, I was with my ex for
Speaker 2: nearly ten years and we were so in love. He
Speaker 2: was my first real relationship and we got married, which
Speaker 2: was such a beautiful time for us. Unfortunately, our marriage
Speaker 2: didn't last long, less than two years later, partly because
Speaker 2: after the wedding, he wanted to move away and find himself.
Speaker 3: What you got married and then you want to go
Speaker 3: find yourself? Yeah, you do that shit.
Speaker 2: Before alone, he went through what I can only describe
Speaker 2: as a thirty year old midlife crisis. He moved on
Speaker 2: before I did, which was initially really hard for me.
Speaker 2: But I also found a beautiful man who I love
Speaker 2: so much. We recently got married and we had our
Speaker 2: first baby. However, I have a hidden secret. I often
Speaker 2: still think about my eggs. Not that I still love
Speaker 2: him necessarily, but I ruminate on our breakup and what
Speaker 2: his life is like now. The kicker is is that
Speaker 2: he also got married and he also now has a
Speaker 2: baby to a woman who is from our hometown, someone
Speaker 2: who he was friends with when we were together.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 2: I also look at socials, not his, as we don't
Speaker 2: follow each other, but mutual friends who have pictures of him.
Speaker 2: I feel like I do this often, and I do
Speaker 2: find it intrusive. I just wish I could forget about
Speaker 2: it and move on.
Speaker 3: Dun, dun, dum. Don't beat yourself up.
Speaker 1: There is a level of this being very normal, I think,
Speaker 1: but there's also a level that you have to if
Speaker 1: you think it's too much.
Speaker 3: Chances are it's too much.
Speaker 1: I think there's always a curiosity in life of every
Speaker 1: now and again, you're like, I wonder what they're up to.
Speaker 1: But it should just be like a pretty base level,
Speaker 1: low level curiosity, very very sporadic curiosity. It shouldn't be
Speaker 1: a daily check in or oh my god, they've gone
Speaker 1: to coffee today. Yeah, it shouldn't be a daily checking
Speaker 1: to see how they're.
Speaker 2: Going It is interesting because people write these questions all
Speaker 2: the time, but they never actually say the frequency.
Speaker 3: They're never like, let I check it seventeen times a day. Well,
Speaker 3: all she has said is that it's she thinks it's
Speaker 3: too much. Well, she hasn't said how often.
Speaker 2: I think it is normal to check in on an
Speaker 2: X every so often. I think it is normal because
Speaker 2: I do think that we are curious creatures and we
Speaker 2: just kind of want to be like, you know, they're.
Speaker 3: A huge part of your life.
Speaker 2: You married this guy, You thought you were gonna have
Speaker 2: kids with this man. He was the person you thought
Speaker 2: your life was gonna be with forever. It's only natural
Speaker 2: that you sometimes have your curiosity as to where his
Speaker 2: life is at and like what has happened and how
Speaker 2: that's progressing, because all of a sudden, his life no
Speaker 2: longer has you in it at all. And I think
Speaker 2: think it takes a long time for us to kind
Speaker 2: of accept that new identity shift, especially if you both
Speaker 2: moved on quickly, you both got into relationships quickly, and
Speaker 2: both had children with other people quickly.
Speaker 1: Well, you can also move on from a relationship like
Speaker 1: you can move on in your life and still not
Speaker 1: being past what happened to you, So you can do
Speaker 1: both simultaneously. You can be with someone else. You've married someone,
Speaker 1: you've had a baby, so you've created another life. But
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean you've necessarily closed the door in the past.
Speaker 1: And I'm going to say that you haven't closed the
Speaker 1: door in the past because you literally say I ruminate
Speaker 1: on it, I think about it all the time. The
Speaker 1: kicker here is that you did get married to someone
Speaker 1: you thought you'd spend your life with. That's why we
Speaker 1: marry someone, and all of a sudden he said, it's
Speaker 1: not the life I want.
Speaker 3: I need to move away, I need to find who
Speaker 3: I am.
Speaker 1: But he ended up actually moving back to his home
Speaker 1: state and having a baby and getting married. So he
Speaker 1: had the life that you guys had, but you.
Speaker 3: Weren't the one in it.
Speaker 1: And there's a part of that that's really hard to
Speaker 1: move on from because there's a part of you that's like, well,
Speaker 1: why you literally had it, and you've got an identical
Speaker 1: life as the one we had, but I wasn't good
Speaker 1: enough or I wasn't the person that filled that space.
Speaker 2: It really changes the tune when you think, oh, he
Speaker 2: had to go out there and find himself, but he
Speaker 2: found exactly what he had. It was just me he
Speaker 2: didn't want. That's such a fucking hard thing to get over.
Speaker 3: Exactly.
Speaker 1: It's not like he ended up living in Antarctica and
Speaker 1: he's gay and you're like, oh, I get it now.
Speaker 1: I wasn't enough because he wanted this whole different life,
Speaker 1: but he just picked it out of the same life
Speaker 1: and it's not you. And that is really hard to
Speaker 1: move on from. And when you don't have the say
Speaker 1: in a breakup, when there's no part of you that
Speaker 1: wants something, it can take fucking years and years and
Speaker 1: a lot of work to accept and move on from.
Speaker 1: The first thing you need to do is probably work
Speaker 1: on that. And it sounds like you've admitted there's a problem.
Speaker 1: First step is like, okay, maybe I haven't closed the
Speaker 1: door on that. My suggestion would genuinely be and I
Speaker 1: have done this is go to therapy, speak to a
Speaker 1: therapist and try and work through why. It doesn't mean
Speaker 1: you don't love your partner now. It absolutely doesn't mean that.
Speaker 1: It just means there's this little chapter in your heart
Speaker 1: it needs to close.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think this is so interesting because I do
Speaker 2: believe that, like for so many people, and a time
Speaker 2: plays a huge factor we have and can hold on to.
Speaker 2: I've described it as like the ping before. But you
Speaker 2: have this little bit of you that still is attached
Speaker 2: to It's not attached to your ex so much, it's
Speaker 2: not necessarily attached to that person, but it's attached to
Speaker 2: the life. It's attached to where your life could have gone,
Speaker 2: what your life could have been.
Speaker 3: And it's that fork in the road.
Speaker 2: And then every so often when they, you know, you
Speaker 2: go look at their Instagram, where they come up on
Speaker 2: social media or someone mentions them, you get that little
Speaker 2: ping of like, oh, that's right, that was my life
Speaker 2: was heading there and now it's here. And I think
Speaker 2: it's so important. Like you do say in this and
Speaker 2: what you said brit like you do love your partner
Speaker 2: now that you have, you do love your life, you
Speaker 2: do love being a mum to your child. You're not
Speaker 2: wanting your life to be in a different place. But
Speaker 2: it doesn't mean that you don't still experience that ping.
Speaker 2: That ping gets less and less as time goes on.
Speaker 2: I would say in five years time, you're not going
Speaker 2: to be feeling the way that you're feeling right now.
Speaker 2: I don't think people hold onto it with the same intensity.
Speaker 2: I know that that's cliche, like time heels or wounds
Speaker 2: blah blah blah. But we can move on quickly with
Speaker 2: our life and with life events i e. Getting married,
Speaker 2: quickly afterwards, finding a new partner, having children. It doesn't
Speaker 2: mean that emotionally we move on just because we physically
Speaker 2: move on. It doesn't mean that you've emotionally healed all
Speaker 2: those parts of you. And I really think giving yourself
Speaker 2: a little bit of grace that like it's okay that
Speaker 2: sometimes you think about or you reminisce, but understanding if
Speaker 2: it is a massive issue that you have to change
Speaker 2: some things, because you can't be five years down the
Speaker 2: track still looking at your ex's profile daily or even weekly.
Speaker 2: You know, I would say, if you're looking at it
Speaker 2: more than like monthly, can you check once a month?
Speaker 1: No, I would say, like a checking twice a year,
Speaker 1: once every six months. I wonder what they've been up to.
Speaker 3: That is like, you shouldn't be doing any more than
Speaker 3: that because you shouldn't.
Speaker 1: Care, really, and it is normal human nature to be
Speaker 1: inquisitive and curious where somebody that was in your life
Speaker 1: ended up.
Speaker 3: I sometimes do it to old friends.
Speaker 2: Okay, what would you say now? So like, obviously I'm
Speaker 2: going to say in comparison to your ex but for anyone,
Speaker 2: if you've been out of a relationship for two years,
Speaker 2: what's an acceptable number of times to look at your
Speaker 2: excess profile if you don't follow each other and you're
Speaker 2: not friends and you're not in each other's life.
Speaker 3: I'm really good with this.
Speaker 1: I don't look at my excess profiles pure not because
Speaker 1: I'm not interested, but I know what it does to me,
Speaker 1: and it would affect me because that person meant something.
Speaker 3: I mean, we're obviously going to talk about my.
Speaker 1: Recent X and Dan that relationship and him meant a
Speaker 1: lot to me, and we all know that that's not
Speaker 1: breaking news.
Speaker 3: But I know to look at that would set me back.
Speaker 3: It would affect me.
Speaker 1: I would probably get upset, not because I necessarily want
Speaker 1: to be with him, but just because it was someone
Speaker 1: that was close to you. And you've got to remember
Speaker 1: it's the same as smells, but visuals, photos and memories they.
Speaker 3: Incite things and feelings inside of you. They're very powerful.
Speaker 1: But what I will sporadically do, and I'm happy to
Speaker 1: admit this is I will sporadically look up Jordan's tennis
Speaker 1: matches just to see how he's traveling, Like if there's
Speaker 1: a big competition that I know, if it's.
Speaker 3: A Grand Slam or something.
Speaker 1: But that's purely because I love tennis now, like I
Speaker 1: genuinely still watch tennis. I know a lot of the players,
Speaker 1: and I just love watching it. But it's such a
Speaker 1: big thing, and I'm like, I wonder how he went.
Speaker 1: I know that tournament must have meant something to him,
Speaker 1: and I wonder how he went.
Speaker 3: So I'll just google it.
Speaker 1: I don't go onto his page or anything, but I'll
Speaker 1: just google the scores, who he beat, who he lost to, whatever.
Speaker 3: But you don't look at his social media acs. Oh
Speaker 3: I could not. I could not. It would still probably
Speaker 3: affect me in some way. I'm happy to say that.
Speaker 2: But this is why it's so okay because I also
Speaker 2: think in this instance, like actions reinforce to you, so
Speaker 2: like the more you do it, the more you want
Speaker 2: to the more that you go down the rabbit hole
Speaker 2: or yeah, the more that you go down the rabbit
Speaker 2: hole of looking at or trying to figure out what
Speaker 2: his life is like and put the pieces of the
Speaker 2: puzzle together the more that you then want to do it.
Speaker 2: Part of this, you know, it's great for us to say,
Speaker 2: go see a therapist, go and do this. You also
Speaker 2: have to just exercise some self control for a while,
Speaker 2: and it's like anything. Imagine quitting smoking, imagine quitting drinking,
Speaker 2: imagine starting exercise for thirty days. You have to treat
Speaker 2: this for a period as though it's something that you're
Speaker 2: going to quit. Actively tell yourself, I am absolutely not
Speaker 2: going to look at any single thing that has anything
Speaker 2: to do with my ex I'm not gonna go looking
Speaker 2: for it because you need to stop those neural pathways
Speaker 2: in your brain that you keep reinforcing every time you
Speaker 2: go looking, and that it makes you want to do
Speaker 2: it more.
Speaker 3: Well, out of sight, out of mind.
Speaker 1: There's a reason that's a saying, because you're going to
Speaker 1: keep thinking about them if you keep looking at them,
Speaker 1: because it's the last thing. If you look at it
Speaker 1: before you go to bed, you're gonna wake up in
Speaker 1: the morning and that's going to be in your mind.
Speaker 1: And I mean, I personally would do this if I
Speaker 1: break up with Ben. Now I do the same thing
Speaker 1: with Ben. I wouldn't go and look at his page either,
Speaker 1: because that would affect me. You've got to realize what
Speaker 1: it's doing to yourself and understand that it's not healthy.
Speaker 1: But I think one of the big things to work
Speaker 1: out is why you're doing it as well. Why do
Speaker 1: you care what he's doing so much? And once you
Speaker 1: get to the bottom of why, you can really work
Speaker 1: on how to fix it.
Speaker 2: But I think the why in this is feeling like
Speaker 2: he's had the life that she wanted with someone else.
Speaker 2: You know, it's the fixation of not being the one,
Speaker 2: being the chosen one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but don't be so hard on yourself because it's
Speaker 1: very normal and like I know, Laura, you'll sporadically go
Speaker 1: and look at it.
Speaker 3: Someone from your past as well. Oh yeah, I love
Speaker 3: a bit of self torture. Go and look at them
Speaker 3: every so often. Got Keisha, it was pretty bad for it.
Speaker 1: Like we really worked on Keisha unfollowing and blocking people
Speaker 1: from her past because it was a curiosity. She would
Speaker 1: go back and then she would get upset. Why are
Speaker 1: we going back and looking at it? Because you know,
Speaker 1: when you do it, you get upset. So you've got
Speaker 1: to be strong enough within yourself to be like, it's
Speaker 1: not serving me at all, because ninety nine point ninet
Speaker 1: nine percent.
Speaker 3: Chances are it's not serving you.
Speaker 2: But all right, well I have one that's very Look
Speaker 2: this might be very divisive. Let's see how you feel
Speaker 2: about it, brit Is it weird to cut your toenails
Speaker 2: in the shower? My partner and I argue about love.
Speaker 3: We do answer the big stuff here. We argue about
Speaker 3: this all the time.
Speaker 2: He likes to cut his toenails in the shower, as
Speaker 2: he says, well, it all gets washed down the drain anyway, I, however,
Speaker 2: have got a massive ike that he does this. I
Speaker 2: would rather he cut his toenails outside in the garden
Speaker 2: or straight into the bin. I love him very much
Speaker 2: and we've been together for you. But is it just me?
Speaker 2: Or is it weird to cut your toenails in the shower?
Speaker 2: Do you know what I love about this question? I
Speaker 2: love that she had to put in here. I love
Speaker 2: him very much and we've been together for years. As
Speaker 2: though the recommendation we're going to give.
Speaker 3: Him, oh it's over, you're never gonna work out. I
Speaker 3: love that these are the questions. I think these are
Speaker 3: the caliber cut your toenails in the shower.
Speaker 1: If this is the biggest problem in your relationship. You
Speaker 1: guys are doing really well.
Speaker 3: Also, it's the shower. He's cutting his toenails on the couch.
Speaker 1: I think it's weird he cuts his toenails in the shower, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to be doing that in the shower
Speaker 1: because I want to just be enjoying the hot water
Speaker 1: and washing my hair and stuff. But if you want
Speaker 1: to cut your toenails in the shower, fine, It's true.
Speaker 1: It does go straight down the drain because if you
Speaker 1: cut them anywhere else they fling off. You'll find them
Speaker 1: in the rug, in the carpet, or you're stuck in
Speaker 1: a lounge.
Speaker 3: You know where. You can't cut your toenails. Are you
Speaker 3: gonna tell me? I hope not in bed? Of course
Speaker 3: you can't cut.
Speaker 2: If you're dating someone who cuts their toenails in bed,
Speaker 2: dump them.
Speaker 1: I actually don't want to ever see my partner cut
Speaker 1: them nails, cut them in price.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what, cut them in the shower.
Speaker 1: Unless you're having a shower together and it's a sexy shower,
Speaker 1: let him.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't want someone rooming from behind and then
Speaker 3: you cut your done.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't want to bend him over and then
Speaker 1: cut your toenails. Actually two beds, one stone. If your
Speaker 1: time poor, do it to.
Speaker 2: Be fair, Matt, he goes outside, he cuts his toenails outside,
Speaker 2: or he does it into the bin. He's the perfect
Speaker 2: tone cutting person.
Speaker 1: And even if you go outside, it's still just on
Speaker 1: the ground and your kids go play there.
Speaker 3: It's actually probably better in the shower. He cuts them
Speaker 3: and flicks them straight into the garden, which that's ranked
Speaker 3: to me, but I don't know why. No, it's fine.
Speaker 1: Idea of just throwing a toe al away anywhere is
Speaker 1: a bit weird.
Speaker 2: Okay, toenails are weird in general, but the fact is
Speaker 2: that he's trying to do it somewhere, which is.
Speaker 3: Like remotely thoughtful totally.
Speaker 2: The one thing I would like to say is I
Speaker 2: can't stand when people floss their teeth. But they floss
Speaker 2: it like sitting on the couch, like flossing your teeth
Speaker 2: at nighttime, then sucking their teeth flossing their teeth.
Speaker 1: So what do you mean sucking their teeth? Well, like
Speaker 1: when you flosh like I don't I feel.
Speaker 3: Like people do.
Speaker 1: I take two secons of you're Matt in the bedroom,
Speaker 1: I sassed my teeth like you have said No.
Speaker 3: I dated a guy once.
Speaker 2: He used to brush his teeth, then he'd floss them
Speaker 2: sitting on the couch next to me.
Speaker 1: That gave me the biggest egg. Yeah, it's not a
Speaker 1: wine down routine. You don't sit there and have a
Speaker 1: Netflix chill and floss. Yeah, it's because he wanted to
Speaker 1: spend all of his time with me. Didn't want to
Speaker 1: waste any time whist blossing. Anyway, I feel to answer
Speaker 1: that that's fine. Let your partner cut his tonels on
Speaker 1: the shower.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 1: Next question, one on one dinners with my long term
Speaker 1: boyfriend are awkward. Oh so, I have a dilemma that
Speaker 1: has been brewing for a few years now that I
Speaker 1: just don't know how to approach. I've been with my
Speaker 1: boyfriend for just over four years, and I am so
Speaker 1: head over heels in love. We are best friends, and
Speaker 1: I truly see us spend in our lives together. While
Speaker 1: ninety nine point nine percent of our time together is
Speaker 1: so easy and fun, I just struggle with this one part,
Speaker 1: this one part that happens every day of our life,
Speaker 1: where we have a sit down couple's dinner at a restaurant.
Speaker 3: For me, it's always mildly uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: I think this stems from us not having much to
Speaker 1: discuss anymore. As we live together, gym together, and spend
Speaker 1: generally most of our lives together. This usual leads to
Speaker 1: us having a more serious conversation which are never fun
Speaker 1: let's be real, or to rehash things we've already discussed.
Speaker 1: Is this normal for couples to experience. I feel like
Speaker 1: there is so much pressure when we are seated almost
Speaker 1: up to one another.
Speaker 3: I don't think I'm gonna say this. I reckon there's
Speaker 3: gonna be other people who completely relate to this.
Speaker 2: I reckon more people than not will relate to this,
Speaker 2: And no one talks about this shit. No one talks
Speaker 2: about like the pressure for it to be so easy
Speaker 2: and seeing you can't have like uninterrupted, spontaneous, interesting, new
Speaker 2: conversations with your partner every single moment you're with them,
Speaker 2: especially if you spend a lot of time with them
Speaker 2: and you live together, you.
Speaker 3: Already know them so and you've been here there for
Speaker 3: four years.
Speaker 2: Does he find it awkward? Probably not. You could even
Speaker 2: have a conversation with him. Do you ever find it
Speaker 2: awkward when we sit down to have dinner together? Because
Speaker 2: like we have nothing to talk about it we.
Speaker 1: Could do it Laura dinner. She used to write down
Speaker 1: prompts conversation Bro.
Speaker 2: That was never like when I was in a committed relationship.
Speaker 2: That was always in the beginning because they wanted to
Speaker 2: seem like I was interesting. Fuck When No I go
Speaker 2: out for dinner, sometimes we sit there and we're like,
Speaker 2: see anything fun on TikTok today? This?
Speaker 3: Look? The thing is is this normal? Absolutely?
Speaker 1: Like the time is going to come where you, like
Speaker 1: you just said, you spend a lot of time together,
Speaker 1: you talk about a lot of stuff.
Speaker 3: The time's gonna come. We've all been there where.
Speaker 1: You sit down at dinner and you're like, ooh, I
Speaker 1: actually don't know what to say. But having said that,
Speaker 1: there is always something to say or something to discuss.
Speaker 1: And what I mean by that is if you are
Speaker 1: uncomfortable by this, there is absolutely no reason you cannot
Speaker 1: discuss something that's happening in the world right now, look
Speaker 1: up current events of the day if it's actually an issue,
Speaker 1: and say, do your.
Speaker 3: Research before you have a date night with your but no,
Speaker 3: but say what do you think about this?
Speaker 1: Like there should always be a discovery in a relationship.
Speaker 1: You should always be because you were both changing as
Speaker 1: people over the years. You're not the same person you
Speaker 1: were last year. Threes go, four ys go, ten years ago,
Speaker 1: and the world is ever evolving. He will have an
Speaker 1: opinion on something, and you will have an opinion on something.
Speaker 3: Have a look at what's happening. It doesn't have to
Speaker 3: be serious. It can be funny.
Speaker 1: But if you're that uncomfortable, there is I mean, like,
Speaker 1: it sounds funny, but I'm being serious. There's no reason
Speaker 1: you can't look at what's happening in the world today.
Speaker 1: Then when you get to dinner, say, oh my god,
Speaker 1: do you see what happened in New York today?
Speaker 2: What do you think about that? You have to save
Speaker 2: your conversation. Sometimes we'll be in the car on the
Speaker 2: way to dinner and I'll be like to Matt ba
Speaker 2: ba bye bluh, save.
Speaker 3: It for dinner.
Speaker 2: Don't use all the conversations now talk. People will be
Speaker 2: looking out us a dinner and we need to look
Speaker 2: like red.
Speaker 1: But there's no reason asking questions about each other, having
Speaker 1: discussions about something that's happening in the world, Like if
Speaker 1: something has just happened that day or the day before,
Speaker 1: you don't know their thought on it.
Speaker 3: Do you don't know the answer. Yeah.
Speaker 2: But the thing is is if they live together, just
Speaker 2: say they both work from home. Maybe they are having
Speaker 2: those discussions as it comes up, So just don't ask
Speaker 2: about New York at home so for dinner, but also
Speaker 2: do you know what other things like, It's okay, it
Speaker 2: is okay to sit in silence sometimes you don't have
Speaker 2: to have a running, constant stream of conversation with your partner.
Speaker 3: It's not necessary.
Speaker 2: It's okay to sometimes just be like comfortable and silent
Speaker 2: in your partner's company.
Speaker 3: That doesn't have to be awkward.
Speaker 2: I understand it is for some people, but I think
Speaker 2: I think that that is a whole other level of
Speaker 2: being in a relationship when you can be comfortably silent
Speaker 2: with them, Or if you really don't want to be
Speaker 2: comfortably silent when you're sitting at dinner because you're worried
Speaker 2: about conversation. I think in this instance, you don't want
Speaker 2: to be getting into super deep chats that you don't
Speaker 2: actually feel passionate about. You're just doing it because it's
Speaker 2: the thing to rehash, you know, like it's the thing
Speaker 2: that comes up because you're stuck in this one on
Speaker 2: one sitting across from each other's situation.
Speaker 3: What you could do.
Speaker 2: There's loads of places where you can buy cards from
Speaker 2: which are like the you know, the conversation starter cards.
Speaker 3: And I don't mean that in like a corny way
Speaker 3: going out to a sit down dinner and taking your
Speaker 3: conversation starter cards.
Speaker 2: Out look at the cards first, I don't, But like,
Speaker 2: there's like sex ones, there's ones that you can do
Speaker 2: that are like really funny or insightful. They're not like,
Speaker 2: you know, what's your fucking favorite color or something. I
Speaker 2: don't mean in the most basic way. I just been like,
Speaker 2: there are definitely little activities you could do that are
Speaker 2: fun and spontaneous that kind of reignite that. But also
Speaker 2: I think, question, why is it that you feel it's
Speaker 2: so awkward when you don't have something to say to
Speaker 2: your partner, especially if you're saying ninety nine point nine
Speaker 2: percent of the time, everything else is great and everything
Speaker 2: is comfortable. Why does silence make you so uncomfortable?
Speaker 3: I get it. Silence doesn't make her uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Silence out at a public dinner, sitting opposite each other
Speaker 1: makes her uncomfortable. And I understand that, Like I understand
Speaker 1: there's a difference between being comfortably silent at home on
Speaker 1: the lounge doing your own thing.
Speaker 3: Co existing.
Speaker 1: There's definitely something different about them going out to dinner
Speaker 1: and sitting down in a packed restaurant and not talking
Speaker 1: to each other because you're sort of like, cool, why
Speaker 1: do we come?
Speaker 3: I understand that completely, like one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: And also you know that you know and you shouldn't care,
Speaker 1: but you know people looking at you being like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, that no one talking to Are they looking?
Speaker 3: No one's looking. Yeah, I always is looking in a restaurant.
Speaker 3: I look at everyone and I'm like, they haven't spoken
Speaker 3: for ages, So that's probably what you're talking to your
Speaker 3: partner about. Hey, then look at that couple over them
Speaker 3: not talking to each other. Yeah, maybe do you know
Speaker 3: that name? Well?
Speaker 1: You know another thing you can do And I do
Speaker 1: this mainly because it's the podcast, but ask your boyfriend
Speaker 1: one of the questions we've discussed on the podcast here
Speaker 1: and say, what do you think about this? This person
Speaker 1: did this, they cheated they you know, do.
Speaker 3: You think you should take a back? Ask their opinion.
Speaker 1: I ask Beni's all the time, always out of curiosity,
Speaker 1: not to use his opinion but just because I genuinely
Speaker 1: want to know a male's opinion, and it's often really
Speaker 1: interesting and has to do with relationships. Chances are one
Speaker 1: of their friends have done something similar or they know someone.
Speaker 1: It's a whole nother conversation starter. And also then we
Speaker 1: might get another life on cunt listener.
Speaker 2: I always think sex ones are great because you really
Speaker 2: can get into a tangent talking about yourself intimately, but
Speaker 2: you haven't come up with the questions, you know. I
Speaker 2: mean like it's like, you know, when you watch maths
Speaker 2: and they have the honesty box, it's like doing an
Speaker 2: honesty box with your partner at dinner, And I think
Speaker 2: like then new conversations can kind of just like monkey
Speaker 2: branch from that into something else.
Speaker 3: Anyway, good luck. No, you're not alone.
Speaker 1: If you do sit there in silence of the couples
Speaker 1: are probably doing it. But yeah, let's think outside the
Speaker 1: box here, let's start a conversations. Definitely our something sexy,
Speaker 1: like Laura said, because guys love talking about sex.
Speaker 3: They love sex, do they They're not all of them
Speaker 3: one hundred percent? No, maybe that'll make it awkward, No,
Speaker 3: it will not.
Speaker 2: They've been together four years. If she brings up sex.
Speaker 2: His ears are going to prick up. Best question, what
Speaker 2: is one fantasy that you have always had that we've
Speaker 2: never done. There you go, there's a question to ask
Speaker 2: you next time you sit down at dinner.
Speaker 3: Perfect.
Speaker 1: Well, that's it from us guys. If you got questions,
Speaker 1: keep them coming into life. Fun Cup podcasts on Instagram.
Speaker 1: Just put usk on cut at the top and also
Speaker 1: professionals accently on filters everything send them into the pot.
Speaker 2: And if you feel so inclined, go and jump onto
Speaker 2: Apple podcasts, leave us a review, and that is it
Speaker 2: from us guys.
Speaker 3: You know the drill.
Speaker 1: Don't forget to tell your mum to you Dad, tell
Speaker 1: you Dot, tell your friends and shann loved because we
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