Speaker 1: I really need something out of you for this podcast.
Speaker 1: I need you to get any comfort zone and keep
Speaker 1: an open mind more than you ever have in any
Speaker 1: previous episode of the Woodlife. Because first up, we're tackling
Speaker 1: an interesting health topic sex.
Speaker 2: Yes you heard that right now.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 1: I started this podcast to make health and fitness simple,
Speaker 1: easier for people to understand. But the more we delve
Speaker 1: into it every single week, and we into you these
Speaker 1: wonderful guests, the more you realize just how many elements
Speaker 1: there are to actually leading a holistic healthy life. So sure,
Speaker 1: we can eat well, we can exercise enough, but I
Speaker 1: want you to consider what benefits sex and pleasure can
Speaker 1: bring to your health. So we're going to delve into
Speaker 1: that topic with one of Australia's leading sexologists. Then I'm
Speaker 1: going to give Brea some tips around the upcoming Easter period.
Speaker 4: When it comes to Easter time, I don't really know
Speaker 4: what to do.
Speaker 5: I don't want to I fully deprived myself of chocolate,
Speaker 5: but anything that's gifted to me, I end up binge
Speaker 5: eating it and then I fall off my healthy eating habit.
Speaker 5: How should I navigate the Easter period?
Speaker 1: It really can be such a tricky time when you're
Speaker 1: trying to stay healthy. So we're going to get into
Speaker 1: that a little later on. I'm Sam Wood and this
Speaker 1: is the wood Life.
Speaker 2: Let's get into it. Okay, I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 1: I'm very very excited about our next guest, Chantellotten, which
Speaker 1: many of you may know. She is a psycho sexologist
Speaker 1: and relationship therapist and the author of the sex Ed
Speaker 1: You Never Had.
Speaker 2: That's right on the Woodlife.
Speaker 1: Today we are talking sex, the naughty word, the taboo word,
Speaker 1: but we're going to change all of that.
Speaker 2: So welcome to the Woodline.
Speaker 3: Wow. No, I'm excited to be here. And look, sex
Speaker 3: is a healthy part of life and happiness and quality
Speaker 3: of life, so I think it's a good conversation to have.
Speaker 3: We're not really getting that nasty on this podcast.
Speaker 2: Right, No, we're not.
Speaker 1: But I mean we are a fitness, a health podcast,
Speaker 1: and I absolutely think that sex is an important part
Speaker 1: of that.
Speaker 3: Totally good for cardiovascular health.
Speaker 1: Vascular health, for our mental health, and many other things.
Speaker 1: I Mean, we often talk to people on this show,
Speaker 1: particularly women who don't necessarily have great self esteem, and
Speaker 1: getting themselves into shape is sort of part of building
Speaker 1: that self confidence.
Speaker 2: And building that self esteem.
Speaker 1: And I would think that there'd be a parallel between
Speaker 1: the love that you have for yourself and the relationship
Speaker 1: you have with your partner, you know, I think there'd
Speaker 1: be parallels and coral between those two.
Speaker 2: So do you do agree with that totally?
Speaker 3: I mean, like, if you think about your clients and
Speaker 3: people who come see you, if they feel good about
Speaker 3: their bodies, they're able to open up more. Right. It's
Speaker 3: almost like they feel like they're living in a beautiful
Speaker 3: chateau and they're taking care of the garden and they're
Speaker 3: giving it a lot of love and they can open
Speaker 3: the doors. If you're not feeling good within your body,
Speaker 3: it can sometimes feel like a little bit of a prison,
Speaker 3: you know, where you're kind of you're locked in there.
Speaker 3: You don't know how to get out, You're not sure
Speaker 3: which way to move with it. And I think we're
Speaker 3: all going to get to that stage once in a
Speaker 3: while we're not feeling that good and we're feeling a
Speaker 3: little bit stuck. But you know, small little acts, you know,
Speaker 3: small little movements, even things like taking a shower and
Speaker 3: taking it slow in the shower and putting on body wash.
Speaker 2: These are all little.
Speaker 3: Central things that we don't really talk about because we're
Speaker 3: used to talking about sex in like a penetrative heterosexual way,
Speaker 3: penis and vagina sex, right, But sex is really expensive.
Speaker 3: It doesn't even have to be about penetrating. It can
Speaker 3: be anything you do to feel sexy in.
Speaker 1: I love that, and already that's sort of shifting, that's
Speaker 1: opening my mind. I think that's really really good way
Speaker 1: to start things off. So why do you think it
Speaker 1: is such a deboo topic. Where do these barriers come
Speaker 1: from and how do we break them down?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I think it's just many, many years of being
Speaker 3: told that we have to keep it quiet. It's movies
Speaker 3: where you see kind of very conservative views of sexuality.
Speaker 3: It's always kind of the same. It's very quick, and
Speaker 3: it's a lot of penetrative sex. It's the multicultural society
Speaker 3: that we live in. It's different religions. It's the lack
Speaker 3: of sex education, consent to education, and it's lack of
Speaker 3: highlighting the term pleasure because I think we don't talk
Speaker 3: about pleasure enough when we talk about sex. I think
Speaker 3: we think in quite a goal orientated kind of way.
Speaker 3: I think if we start to expand that view to
Speaker 3: think about okay, well, actually, what gives me pleasure? That
Speaker 3: makes people feel a lot more comfortable when approaching the topic.
Speaker 3: It doesn't have to mean what they see in movies
Speaker 3: or in porn, or what they feel like they have
Speaker 3: to do. It's what do I want to do? What
Speaker 3: brings me pleasure?
Speaker 2: So why is please?
Speaker 1: I love that you've shifted shifted to there? What does
Speaker 1: it do to us from an overall health perspective?
Speaker 3: Such a great question, Well done. I think that pleasure
Speaker 3: is important because it, first of all, releases really good,
Speaker 3: feel good indoorphins. So dopamine, which is the bonding hormone.
Speaker 3: We have oxytocin, which is like the love hormone, and
Speaker 3: you know, it raises our serotonin. It's also a natural analgesic,
Speaker 3: So that means if you've got a bit of a headache,
Speaker 3: if you masturbate, or if you have sex and you
Speaker 3: have an orgasm, you will notice that your headache actually
Speaker 3: goes down a little bit. It's same for chronic pain
Speaker 3: conditions too. I think when it comes to pleasure, it's
Speaker 3: important because just expands people's views because we have you know,
Speaker 3: we have a lot of vagina owners who have painful
Speaker 3: sex that can be deep pain, that can be penetrative pain.
Speaker 3: This is you know, especially common in the postpartum period
Speaker 3: as well. We have a lot of people who don't
Speaker 3: feel confident with their bodies. So maybe they turn off
Speaker 3: the lights and maybe then they have to engage in
Speaker 3: their sense of touch, their sense of smell, their sense
Speaker 3: of hearing, right, so that can bring different sorts of pleasure.
Speaker 3: We have people with different abilities, disabilities that can be
Speaker 3: you know, from mild to severe, and for them, you know,
Speaker 3: when it comes to sensuality, they are really focused on
Speaker 3: pleasure because that might even just be like a head massage,
Speaker 3: like a head scratchy that that can be erotic as
Speaker 3: if you're not feeling like the full three course meal,
Speaker 3: I'm happy to settle for it for a head scratch
Speaker 3: once in a while. And I think pleasure just expands
Speaker 3: the way that we can have sex because we're just
Speaker 3: focusing on what feels good for us and our sexual
Speaker 3: partner at the time.
Speaker 1: And so getting out of this one dimensional thought process,
Speaker 1: do you see better relationships or better quality sexual relationships
Speaker 1: and overall relationships to those individuals and couples that expand
Speaker 1: their thought process, you know, beyond this sort of one
Speaker 1: dimensional way of the way of thinking.
Speaker 2: About sex totally.
Speaker 3: I mean one of the questions, and I'm going to
Speaker 3: ask it to you. I'm going to see how you
Speaker 3: how you respond to us. No, it's very simple. One
Speaker 3: of the questions that I asked my patients is what
Speaker 3: does sex mean to you? And it's one of the
Speaker 3: hardest things for them because it means so many different things.
Speaker 3: So what does sex mean to you?
Speaker 2: I mean, for me, it's connection. For me, it's.
Speaker 1: This is quite a sexual person and a very touchy
Speaker 1: feely person. And I especially think since we've had kids,
Speaker 1: life goes past you so busily and so fast that
Speaker 1: when we have sex, it's actually one of the beautiful
Speaker 1: times where time slows down quality. Yeah, Like I wouldn't
Speaker 1: be able to tell you how long we have sex for, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, because it really is almost a bit of
Speaker 1: an out of body experience, and there's a complete closeness
Speaker 1: and intimacy where all of the other craziness in our
Speaker 1: very busy, you know, chaotic lives just disappears for however
Speaker 1: long it is, and it has a definitely has a
Speaker 1: carryover effect. I mean there's then.
Speaker 2: A real sort of afterglow after glow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there is, and and our relationship has a closeness.
Speaker 1: So yeah, for me, it's connection and closeness and just
Speaker 1: just that real connectivity in such a crazy time.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's a beautiful answer as well. Congratulations. It
Speaker 3: sounds like you've got a wonderful sex life. And I
Speaker 3: think that this highlights something really important. Sex shouldn't be
Speaker 3: just something that you do. It should be a place
Speaker 3: that you go and you know it should be It
Speaker 3: should be something that does bring you to a different level. Right.
Speaker 3: It can cause a real shift, and I think usually
Speaker 3: in a positive direction, But there are lots of people
Speaker 3: out there that have sex because they feel like they
Speaker 3: need to, because it's expected. They push through painful sex.
Speaker 3: They have sex that might be filled with shame, or
Speaker 3: they might be trauma in their background. So you know,
Speaker 3: not everyone has a wonderful sex life. And sex lives,
Speaker 3: you know, they vary. They can be good for a period,
Speaker 3: they can suck for a period, they can need a
Speaker 3: little bit of work. And I guess in a way
Speaker 3: that's why I have a career. I'm lucky that I
Speaker 3: went into sexology because I'm always going to have something
Speaker 3: to work on and there's always new studies coming out
Speaker 3: about sexuality. It's really kind of an understudied field at
Speaker 3: the moment.
Speaker 1: Is it detrimental to us if we don't have sex
Speaker 1: or pleasure for a particular length of time.
Speaker 3: Look, I mean it's quality over quantity, and I think
Speaker 3: it is quite individualized because you know, for some people,
Speaker 3: once a month is great. For some people they want
Speaker 3: it every day and you're always you know, usually in
Speaker 3: a relationship there will be someone with a higher sex
Speaker 3: drive and someone with a lower sex drive, and that
Speaker 3: might kind of yo yo between them for a little bit.
Speaker 3: But I really think you can't measure that. You cannot
Speaker 3: measure levels of desire because everyone's view of desire is
Speaker 3: completely different, and you can't really say to someone, oh,
Speaker 3: you should be having this amount of sex, because people
Speaker 3: only come to see me when they're distressed about their
Speaker 3: sex lives. They don't come to see me if they're
Speaker 3: really happy unless they want to, you know, spice it
Speaker 3: up a little bit more. But you know, if it's
Speaker 3: distressing for the individual couple, maybe that's when it needs
Speaker 3: to be worked on a little bit.
Speaker 1: Sure, so with all of the people that you see
Speaker 1: in all of your stuff, that they say, you know,
Speaker 1: you get twenty staff that are helping people round the
Speaker 1: clock with this stuff, which is just so wonderful to hear.
Speaker 1: What are the ways in which you help people if
Speaker 1: there's low sex drive or low desire or what are
Speaker 1: the common ways that you help get things going again?
Speaker 3: Desire problems are the most difficult thing to treat. We
Speaker 3: look at sex and we look at sexuality and pleasure
Speaker 3: from a biopsychosocial model, so that means biological, what's happening
Speaker 3: in your body, your hormones, your health, chronic pain, et cetera. Psychological,
Speaker 3: So what's going on in your head, which you know,
Speaker 3: the brain is the biggest sexual organ, so if there's
Speaker 3: a lot going on in there, if it's not very still,
Speaker 3: then that can be difficult. And then socioculture, what's happening
Speaker 3: within your life, what's happening in your community, your culture?
Speaker 3: What messages did you get about sex growing up? And
Speaker 3: what about your relationship? So we have to kind of
Speaker 3: look at all these different factors and I like to
Speaker 3: get people to write down, Okay, well, what's impacting me
Speaker 3: when it comes to desire, and it's almost worthwhile kind
Speaker 3: of thinking about it. Like you're driving a car, you're
Speaker 3: driving your desire car. There are going to be things
Speaker 3: that put the accelerator on that make you really feel horny,
Speaker 3: that make you feel good, that make you feel like
Speaker 3: you want to move towards self pleasure or sensuality or sexuality,
Speaker 3: whatever it is. And you know, that can mean feeling
Speaker 3: really fit and healthy and strong. That can mean making
Speaker 3: sure your irons are up to par, your relationship is
Speaker 3: going good, your self pleasuring off, and you've got a
Speaker 3: new toy. What's going to put the accelerator on? And
Speaker 3: you have to write down all of these things that
Speaker 3: you can remember from the last time that you felt
Speaker 3: really good in the bedroom. And then you have to
Speaker 3: think about, okay, well, what's putting on the brake here,
Speaker 3: you know, because if I'm driving this car, I want
Speaker 3: to have my foot off the brake a little bit
Speaker 3: and more on the accelerator. So is that I don't
Speaker 3: have private time. There's no lock on my bedroom door.
Speaker 3: The kids are touching me all the time. I'm fatigued,
Speaker 3: you know, I'm not eating well. I feel you know,
Speaker 3: I just want to go to bed. My relationship is
Speaker 3: not good, and you have to think, okay, well, what
Speaker 3: can I do in this break basket that is going
Speaker 3: to help me lift my foot off the pedal there?
Speaker 3: And that might mean going to the doctor and making
Speaker 3: sure that you you know, your hormones are well and
Speaker 3: good and that you're getting on the nutrients that you need.
Speaker 3: It might mean putting a lock on your bedroom door.
Speaker 3: It might mean doing relationship therapy with your partner. There
Speaker 3: are ways to do it, it's just more can you
Speaker 3: prioritize sexuality enough to focus on these things and move
Speaker 3: towards Yeah, putting the accelerator.
Speaker 2: On as well. What a brilliant analogy.
Speaker 1: So, Chanto, I didn't realize before we met, not that
Speaker 1: long ago, but I didn't realize you had this wonderful
Speaker 1: clinic with twenty staff helping people. What areas do you
Speaker 1: specialize in at the clinic.
Speaker 3: It's called the Australian Institute of Sexology and Sexual Medicine
Speaker 3: and we do a lot of online therapy, but we
Speaker 3: also have pelvic health physios, so the pelvic floor it's
Speaker 3: what controls your bowls, your bladder, but also if you're
Speaker 3: having discomfort or pain with sex, so that might be
Speaker 3: deep pain, kind of kind of like period pain. Menstrual pain,
Speaker 3: or it can be sharp pain. It can be pain
Speaker 3: on entry. So if like a finger, a tampon a penis,
Speaker 3: a vibrator is going in, it feels like burning, stinging,
Speaker 3: like sensations. That's called vaginismus. Sounds like Christmas for the vagina,
Speaker 3: but it's not.
Speaker 5: It's the opposite.
Speaker 3: It's like Halloween, very very uncomfortable. And then there's volverdinia,
Speaker 3: which is pain on the vulva. So the vulver is
Speaker 3: all the skin that touches your underwear. It's between your
Speaker 3: legs and the vaginal opening. And you know, some people
Speaker 3: won't be able to ride a bike because of volverdinia.
Speaker 3: They might have to put ice packs down there. So
Speaker 3: if you're having a crappy time in the bedroom, you
Speaker 3: deserve a team around you that's going to treat you
Speaker 3: with the best care possible. So that's what we work
Speaker 3: on a lot at our clinic. And I think that
Speaker 3: sexual pain is probably one of our bread and butter
Speaker 3: conditions and we specialize in it. And then things like cancers,
Speaker 3: we see penis owners, so erect ol dysfunction, premature ejaculation,
Speaker 3: and orgasmia, so difficulty having an orgasm, different body issues,
Speaker 3: self esteem, sexual self esteem, which is a really interesting
Speaker 3: one that actually, yeah, we should talk about a little
Speaker 3: bit more because I think that I think that a
Speaker 3: lot of your listeners will probably struggle with sexual self
Speaker 3: esteem issues.
Speaker 2: So what are the most common sexual self esteem issues?
Speaker 3: I think what I hear about a lot is like
Speaker 3: not wanting to be seen naked, not wanting to take
Speaker 3: your clothes off in front of your partner, so getting
Speaker 3: changed maybe in the closet or you know, in the bathroom.
Speaker 3: It's not wanting to wear bikini bathers even go anywhere
Speaker 3: near water, to be honest, and you know, wearing baggy
Speaker 3: clothes probably not like worshiping your body the way should
Speaker 3: be worshiped, because everyone has a beautiful body. But I
Speaker 3: understand it. It is really what's going on in your
Speaker 3: own head that makes you feel a certain way. And
Speaker 3: I think that the way that we've grown up in
Speaker 3: media is to see picture perfect people on social media,
Speaker 3: on magazines, etc. And I feel very lucky to be
Speaker 3: part of this time where we are seeing a lot
Speaker 3: more diversity and real people in media and online.
Speaker 1: So what is your advice to these people that are
Speaker 1: having sexual self esteem challenges or fears or doubts that
Speaker 1: are sneaking in. They're noticing certain behaviors because of these feelings.
Speaker 1: I know there wouldn't be just one answer that solves
Speaker 1: all of these problems, and it's often dealing with the
Speaker 1: head about the body.
Speaker 3: But we do a few tips and tricks.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd love some tips and tricks.
Speaker 3: I think that first of all, just know that you
Speaker 3: are worth it. You are worth kind of looking into
Speaker 3: this area, and you are worth spending some time on yourself.
Speaker 3: We don't often give ourselves permission to work on ourselves
Speaker 3: or even to relax once in a while. You might
Speaker 3: not have to take these tips coming up. But sleep naked.
Speaker 3: I think that's a great one first and foremost. Just
Speaker 3: get comfortable with feeling your skin on the sheets, having
Speaker 3: your partner next to you. Encourage your partner if you
Speaker 3: have one, to sleep naked as well. I think also
Speaker 3: take photos of yourself naked. Your body is beautiful. I'm
Speaker 3: sure that there are areas of your body that you
Speaker 3: can look at, and I hope that you can shift
Speaker 3: your mindset around them too and just go wow, actually,
Speaker 3: I love my curves, or I really like my boobs
Speaker 3: or I have beautiful eyes and focus on those areas.
Speaker 3: Take photos of yourself in positions that you feel really
Speaker 3: good in. You don't have to send it to anyone.
Speaker 3: You can if you want. But I think that that's
Speaker 3: a really great idea. Dance around to music naked, that
Speaker 3: can be in the bathroom, that can be in a
Speaker 3: private room, or you know, dance around the house, feel
Speaker 3: the sun on your skin. It's such a erotic feeling. Really,
Speaker 3: it's really about creativity and imagination. And then I always
Speaker 3: think tuning into your senses is really important, and I
Speaker 3: encourage people, if they're not sure what that actually means,
Speaker 3: to listen to an orgasmic meditation. You're probably like, what
Speaker 3: the hell you're talking about. But if you go online,
Speaker 3: there are hypnosis meditations that will allow you to touch
Speaker 3: your body in certain ways that are not genital focused, right,
Speaker 3: so that actually build up the amount of pleasure in you.
Speaker 3: My favorite one is by a guy called Madison James.
Speaker 3: He's this English guy who has the sexiest voice, and
Speaker 3: it goes for an hour and he is basically guiding
Speaker 3: you in a very sexy way on how to touch
Speaker 3: your body. And it basically is like edging, so edging
Speaker 3: is where if your orgasm is a ten, you start
Speaker 3: off at one and you build up your amount of
Speaker 3: pleasure to maybe like a seven, and then he's like,
Speaker 3: and now you need to stop there, and he brings
Speaker 3: you back down to a five on this scale, and
Speaker 3: he brings you up to a seven, and he's telling
Speaker 3: you where to touch yourself, and you start getting really
Speaker 3: in tune with your body. And then when he allows
Speaker 3: you at the end, you're allowed to go up to
Speaker 3: a ten and orgasm. I mean when I did it,
Speaker 3: I had like electricity running from my fingertips down to
Speaker 3: my vulva area down to my toes. It was like
Speaker 3: I was electrocuted. Some of my friends who have like
Speaker 3: never orgasmed had an orgasm. It's crazy. So have fun everyone.
Speaker 2: What a great answer, What a great answer, And thank
Speaker 2: you As an individual, that's what we can assess. What
Speaker 2: about as a.
Speaker 3: Couple, all right, So sex is the hardest thing to
Speaker 3: talk to your partner about. I think it's really difficult
Speaker 3: for a lot of people to communicate about sexuality with
Speaker 3: their partners because you know, I think there's hesitations there
Speaker 3: that might be a little bit of shame. They don't
Speaker 3: want to bother them or make them feel insecure. But
Speaker 3: if you can work on the communication side of things,
Speaker 3: I think that's really important. And you know, it doesn't
Speaker 3: have to be verbal. It can be writing down what
Speaker 3: you like to do in the bedroom, so you know, yes,
Speaker 3: maybe's and nose so you know, maybe you like oral sex,
Speaker 3: so that's a yes. Maybe a maybe is toys, and
Speaker 3: maybe a no is anal play. So you have to
Speaker 3: write down your menu of things that you like and
Speaker 3: your partner can do that too, and then you can
Speaker 3: swap and go, okay, well maybe we can pick a
Speaker 3: few of these activities and trial them out. I also
Speaker 3: think working on your love languages, so actually working on
Speaker 3: the overall relationship is really good. You know, the love
Speaker 3: languages are basically, how do I show you love in
Speaker 3: the way that you want to be loved? Right, So
Speaker 3: when you're talking about Snaz before, you're saying, you know,
Speaker 3: she's a very touchy feely person, so she might give
Speaker 3: a lot of physical touch because she also likes to
Speaker 3: receive physical touch. It makes her feel loved, makes her
Speaker 3: feel wanted, feel good. That's just going to boost up
Speaker 3: your relationship. If you can figure out each other's love languages.
Speaker 3: It's going to get better because a lot of the
Speaker 3: time we give love the way that we want to
Speaker 3: receive love, but our partner might not actually want that.
Speaker 3: They might not want gifts, or they might not care about,
Speaker 3: you know, words of affirmation. Maybe they just want some
Speaker 3: quality time and physical affection. What else I think, like,
Speaker 3: be expansive, because often we get like this sexual menu
Speaker 3: that we get quite used to. Sam. If you and
Speaker 3: I were like, you know, well, let's go get dinner
Speaker 3: after this, and I was like, we're going to go
Speaker 3: to the Italian restaurant down the road. We're going to
Speaker 3: get pasta. It's going to be amazing, and we have
Speaker 3: a great time. Wonderful. What if I see you next
Speaker 3: week and I go, let's go back to that Italian place? Cool,
Speaker 3: we get a bit more excited about it. If every
Speaker 3: time I see you, I want to go back to
Speaker 3: the same Italian place, You're going to be like chantelle.
Speaker 3: That's really predictable and kind of boring, and I don't
Speaker 3: want to have that same menu anymore, right, So work
Speaker 3: on your different menus and add in a little bit
Speaker 3: of variety. Change up the location, change up the time.
Speaker 3: Don't expect yourself to be having sex ten pm each night,
Speaker 3: because you're most likely going to be cooked. Maybe have
Speaker 3: it on like a Sunday morning, or slip into the
Speaker 3: shower with your partner or you know, join them in
Speaker 3: the laundry or something like that in the car. Add
Speaker 3: a little bit of variation and it will start improving
Speaker 3: your want to have sex because it's a bit more exciting.
Speaker 3: There's a bridge to cross there.
Speaker 2: Absolutely awesome, great analogies.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 1: I want all of our woodline business to be driving
Speaker 1: fast and trying lots of different restaurants. I can't wait
Speaker 1: to hear the feedback that comes in from our callers.
Speaker 1: And I cannot thank you enough for joining us.
Speaker 2: On the woodline. Thank you.
Speaker 1: So it's that time of year where chocolate takes over
Speaker 1: most of the shelves at the soupmak. We're bombarded with
Speaker 1: the chocolate eggs from friends, family, and even work colleagues.
Speaker 1: And even if we don't buy it for ourselves, it
Speaker 1: is that time of year where somehow it always ends
Speaker 1: up in the house. So, no matter how good our
Speaker 1: habits are or our healthy choices, any big holiday centered
Speaker 1: around food, particularly chocolate, can throw us off and Easter,
Speaker 1: of course, is the biggest one for that. So Brea
Speaker 1: has a question that I think a lot of people
Speaker 1: will be battling with at this time of year.
Speaker 5: Hey, Sam, I'm a massive sweet truth that I usually
Speaker 5: try not to buy anything too sweet at the supermarket,
Speaker 5: Otherwise I end up eating a.
Speaker 4: Whole block of chocolate in one city. However, when it
Speaker 4: comes to Easter time, I don't really know what to do.
Speaker 4: I don't want to fully deprive myself of chocolate, but
Speaker 4: anything that's gifted to me, I end up binge eating it,
Speaker 4: and then I fall off my healthy eating habits and
Speaker 4: that which leads to me feeling bad, and then I
Speaker 4: have strong cravings for weeks after. How should I navigate
Speaker 4: the Easter period?
Speaker 1: Oh, Brea, it is so true. It is such a
Speaker 1: hard time to navigate. The Thing that always blows my
Speaker 1: mind is these people that you visit in August and
Speaker 1: they still somehow have their Easter goody sitting in the pantry.
Speaker 1: It absolutely blows me away. I don't understand these people.
Speaker 1: I often say, I understand what our wood Life listeners
Speaker 1: are talking about. I really understand what you're talking about,
Speaker 1: because I'm terrible.
Speaker 2: I have been.
Speaker 1: Picking out on the little chocolate caberry eggs, and they're
Speaker 1: so little that you tell yourself it's just one little leg.
Speaker 1: But when you eat a thousand of them a week,
Speaker 1: guess what it all adds up. So I totally get
Speaker 1: where you're coming from. The most important thing is you
Speaker 1: don't deprive yourself, because I think when you do that,
Speaker 1: you're just setting yourself up to explode on the other
Speaker 1: side of the equation. As much as you don't want
Speaker 1: to eat everything that is insight and everything that is
Speaker 1: given to you in one or two sittings, depriving yourself
Speaker 1: and then feeling like you've really missed out and having
Speaker 1: that really negative relationship with food and getting frustrated yourself
Speaker 1: and then going and finding it somewhere somehow anyway is
Speaker 1: not the answer. So this is the perfect occasion and
Speaker 1: the perfect example of setting boundaries for ourself. And I
Speaker 1: think when it comes to Easter, irrespective of how much
Speaker 1: chocolate you get for yourself, or you're given or the
Speaker 1: ester bunny brings you, you want to set some boundaries
Speaker 1: for yourself, and then you want to perhaps put some
Speaker 1: smart things in play to ensure that those boundaries or
Speaker 1: those rules or whatever it might be, are adhered to.
Speaker 1: So by that, I mean it might be I'm going
Speaker 1: to allow myself x amount of chocolate per day over
Speaker 1: the next three days or seven days, or whatever it is,
Speaker 1: and then maybe you put that in the fridge or
Speaker 1: in the pantry or wherever you like to get your
Speaker 1: chocolate from, and you remove the rest out of arm's reach,
Speaker 1: away from temptation. Now we have little kids, so for me,
Speaker 1: that's really hard to do because there tends to be
Speaker 1: chocolate flying around everywhere. But I do the same thing
Speaker 1: for myself, and I'm not terribly trustworthy. I don't usually
Speaker 1: win those battles against myself, so I get snedzed to
Speaker 1: enforce those. So I will say to her, sweet no
Speaker 1: matter what, don't let me eat more than this much
Speaker 1: chocolate per day, or I even do it on a
Speaker 1: day by day basis. I'm like, this is all the
Speaker 1: chocolate I'm allowed today. And she goes, she looks at me,
Speaker 1: rolls her eyes, raises her eyebrows. We'll say about that,
Speaker 1: you're going to be kicking and screaming and carrying on
Speaker 1: like a poor chop.
Speaker 2: But she's good. She's tough.
Speaker 1: She's a tough gatekeeper, and I feel great because I've
Speaker 1: still gotten my little fix, I've still gotten my chocolate.
Speaker 1: I've still really enjoyed East. It's been a really beautiful
Speaker 1: time with the family. But I haven't eaten myself sick,
Speaker 1: and then I feel guilty and angry and like I've
Speaker 1: got to go and run fifteen k's the next day
Speaker 1: to get back on an even playing field. And like
Speaker 1: you say, there's all those carryover effects of cravings and
Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff. So make some rules, stick
Speaker 1: to those rules, and if you don't trust yourself to
Speaker 1: stick to those rules all on your own, get a
Speaker 1: gatekeeper to make sure you do. Brett, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for that question. It really was one that hit
Speaker 1: home with me. And I must say, I think today's
Speaker 1: my favorite episode. And why wouldn't have been. We've just
Speaker 1: spoken about chocolate and sex.
Speaker 2: Doesn't get much better than that.
Speaker 1: So I think our listeners have got some wonderful homework
Speaker 1: from a sexual exploration or desire or pleasure perspective from Chantelle,
Speaker 1: and I think we can all enjoy Easter guilt free
Speaker 1: without going too overboard, have a wonderful time with your
Speaker 1: friends and family, and of course, if you ever have
Speaker 1: any questions, don't hesitate to send them through. There's a
Speaker 1: link in the show notes, and I'd absolutely love to
Speaker 1: hear from you. Of course, I'll be back on Easter
Speaker 1: Monday with another motivational moment, and you can always listen
Speaker 1: to the WODLFE for free on the iHeartRadio app. And
Speaker 1: I'll talk to you soon.