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Speaker 1: Hello.

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Speaker 2: My name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud Yr the

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Speaker 2: Order Kerney Whalbury and a waddery woman. And before we

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Speaker 2: get started on she's on the Money podcast. I would

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Speaker 2: like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of

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Speaker 2: which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging

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Speaker 2: the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through

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Speaker 2: as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and

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Speaker 2: the storytelling of you to make a difference for today

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Speaker 2: and lasting impact for tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: Let's get into it. She's on the Money.

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Speaker 3: She's on the Money.

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Speaker 1: Hello and welcomed.

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Speaker 4: She's on the Money podcast for millennials who want financial freedom.

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Speaker 1: Hello, Vickid Hello, that why I mean, we'll move on.

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Speaker 1: We'll move on. I can't we left that behind? Did?

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Speaker 1: I wanted to see if you responded to negatively? Nothing

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Speaker 1: gets by you? No? All right? What am I going

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Speaker 1: to call you? Becky? Yes? Be yes? Oh that rolls

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Speaker 1: up thet. It's awful. That's easy.

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Speaker 4: So today we are talking about the myth of making

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Speaker 4: it financially.

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Speaker 1: I'm excited to talk about this. Yes, I'm very excited

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Speaker 1: to talk about this because I feel like people assume

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Speaker 1: that once you have a certain amount of money or

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Speaker 1: like you become rich, you've made it. Yeah, nasis nah.

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Speaker 1: And we were talking about this concept the other day

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Speaker 1: where we were talking about your work life balance and

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Speaker 1: you were like, I just want to sit in the

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Speaker 1: grass with my friends, and I was like, we need

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Speaker 1: more of this energy. We need to be talking about

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Speaker 1: like the lifestyle that we have and the type of

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Speaker 1: life that we lead as opposed to the materialistic items

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Speaker 1: that we have, because they don't actually lead to an

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Speaker 1: increase in happiness. So now is the time to have

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Speaker 1: that conversation, my friend. Exactly. I think we'll walk away

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Speaker 1: from this episode feeling very confident and happy within our celves.

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Speaker 1: I hope empowered, Like Howard, just smash life out regardless

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Speaker 1: of your financial circumstances.

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Speaker 4: Yes, we don't let money. What's the word I'm looking for?

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Speaker 4: Hold us back, hold us back and define us?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred percent.

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Speaker 4: So I guess, like my first question is is the

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Speaker 4: myth that you can't ever really make it? Or is

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Speaker 4: it more that it won't necessarily lead to happiness?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Okay, So there's two edges of this sword, I suppose, so, like,

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Speaker 1: if you're not feeling great about the way that you

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Speaker 1: deal with money or how much you know about the

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Speaker 1: intricacies of finance, you are absolutely not alone. Obviously, she's

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Speaker 1: on the money. It exists to empower you, and our

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Speaker 1: culture of encouragement that she's on the money has kind

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Speaker 1: of like fostered over the last few years, should be

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Speaker 1: one where excessive consumption is not that sexy. Financial systems

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Speaker 1: were designed to be complicated because people need to make money,

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Speaker 1: and therefore our job is from my perspective, to really

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Speaker 1: break them down. But I think that a lot of

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Speaker 1: money myths exist, and I think it's kind of both, right, Like,

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Speaker 1: there are people who in this world are going to

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Speaker 1: want to quote make it, and I think that that

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Speaker 1: means a lot of different things. I just think that

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Speaker 1: there's this misconception that making it means you become extremely rich.

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Speaker 1: And I just think that some of the richest people

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Speaker 1: in my entire life for not the ones that have

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Speaker 1: loads of money. So I think we need to have

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Speaker 1: that conversation. But then also we know, and we'll get

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Speaker 1: to the research, but we know that there is a

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Speaker 1: cap on happiness and there is a point at which

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Speaker 1: happiness doesn't increase regardless of how much more money you have.

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Speaker 1: I think it's very naive of me if I said,

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Speaker 1: look back, money can't play happiness, because that's such a

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Speaker 1: catchphrase that we hear, and in reality, intrinsically that's true.

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Speaker 1: But if our base needs aren't being meant, like we're

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Speaker 1: not able to put a roof over our head, we're

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Speaker 1: stressed about debt orpayments, we are not able to put

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Speaker 1: food on the table, why would we be like that

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Speaker 1: makes us feel like trash. So I think that yes,

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Speaker 1: money can actually buy happiness, because Becky, if I said, look,

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Speaker 1: how happy would you be if I could guarantee that

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Speaker 1: the income that you earn each and every single year,

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Speaker 1: it's always going to put you in a position where

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Speaker 1: you're a okay, Like you're in a perfect position, like

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Speaker 1: you are absolutely fine, you are never going to go without.

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Speaker 1: So we're not talking about that side of things, because

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Speaker 1: I think that that would be incredibly tone deaf to

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Speaker 1: say something like, oh my gosh, well money can't buy happiness.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna look at me and be like, well.

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Speaker 5: Actually, you know what, I'd be really happy if I

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Speaker 5: could pay my grocery bill, Victoria. I'd be really happy

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Speaker 5: if I could afford the apartment that I need, Victoria.

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Speaker 5: So I think it's let's put that to the side,

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Speaker 5: because there is a base financial needs.

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Speaker 1: That's base. Honestly, I think everybody should just have access

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Speaker 1: to that, and we create a lot of content on

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Speaker 1: making sure you have access to that. However, the conversation

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Speaker 1: today is about taking it to that next step, and

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Speaker 1: that myth around is money by happiness or like, what's

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Speaker 1: this idea of making it financially? At what point are

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Speaker 1: we good enough for ourselves? And I suppose this creeps

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Speaker 1: into the realm of We record money diaries every single

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Speaker 1: week and we always ask our community like, oh, on

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Speaker 1: a scale of you know, A through F, like how

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Speaker 1: would you rate yourself financially? And a lot of people say, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm a B. And you might listen to the story

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Speaker 1: and be like, oh, my lord, like they're inn A plus.

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Speaker 1: What the heck? That's you overlaying your personal values onto

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Speaker 1: what that is. Somebody who might call themselves a B,

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Speaker 1: you might go, Wow, they're like the most financially literate

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Speaker 1: people I've ever met. But they will say something along

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Speaker 1: the lines of yes, but to take it to an A,

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Speaker 1: I just really want to feel like I've actually achieved

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Speaker 1: those goals I'm setting. They might have the clarity to

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Speaker 1: be an A in your eyes, but they just don't

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Speaker 1: feel like they're there yet because they want to prove

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Speaker 1: it to themselves. As I've said before on the podcast,

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Speaker 1: sometimes I'm like, oh my gosh, girl, no, you're absolutely

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Speaker 1: an A. But I'll never argue with you over that

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Speaker 1: because that's your own judgment of yourself and I can't

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Speaker 1: overlay my values on that. Sure gets important to understand

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Speaker 1: whether you think you're an A or an F this

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Speaker 1: myth of I guess financially making it is going to

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Speaker 1: mean different things to different people. And that's what makes

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Speaker 1: our world so beautiful. Like how cool is it that

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Speaker 1: your values are so different to my values? But the

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Speaker 1: beauty of that friendship is that we both respect one another.

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Speaker 1: You got go VI, why have you got two cats?

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Speaker 1: What the heck? Whereas I might go beck Grass, it

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Speaker 1: makes me itch, I'm not going to lay in that.

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Speaker 1: What are you talking about? So I think it's just

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Speaker 1: about really embracing that every single person in this community

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Speaker 1: is so different. But how do we get clarity on

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Speaker 1: what our goals are. But then what does financially making

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Speaker 1: it even mean?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I guess if you're constantly setting different goals and

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Speaker 4: thinking like, oh, once I make it here, then I'll

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Speaker 4: be happy, or once I make it there, I'll be happy.

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Speaker 4: But the goals are constantly moving and wiki growing, and

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Speaker 4: you know, it's just it's just not the best thing

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Speaker 4: to like kind of aim for me.

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Speaker 1: Talking to somebody obviously complete pivot, but it's like talking

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Speaker 1: to somebody about their diet. Yes, So like someone will

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Speaker 1: be like, oh, once I lose another five kilos, I'll

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Speaker 1: be happy, and then they lose five kilos and they

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Speaker 1: actually haven't addressed the underlying issue of the lack of confidence,

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Speaker 1: and they lose that five kilos and you'll say, how

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Speaker 1: do you feel now? And they say, oh, do you

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Speaker 1: know what I've got this way? I just need another

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Speaker 1: five kilos, not addressing the fact that it was self

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Speaker 1: love that we were lacking. It's not about way. So

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Speaker 1: I think it's really really similar in the financial realm

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Speaker 1: because I think some people will go, well, do you

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Speaker 1: know what would have made it? Beck? Once I have

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Speaker 1: ten thousand dollars in my emergency fund, guarantee the second

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Speaker 1: you get to that, you'll go, oh, okay, cool. But

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Speaker 1: I've thought about all these other goals now that I

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Speaker 1: have this level of financial security, Beck, I really want

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Speaker 1: to buy a house, or I really want to buy

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Speaker 1: a new car, or I really want to go on

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Speaker 1: a holiday, or there might be a million other things

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Speaker 1: floating around, But there's never this idea that you've made it.

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Speaker 1: I feel like we make that up in our heads. Exactly.

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Speaker 1: We make it up in our heads. And maybe it's

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Speaker 1: motivating to be like I will have made it, and

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Speaker 1: then you kind of work harder to get to that point.

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Speaker 4: Yes, you get there and you're like, oh you just

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Speaker 4: sometimes you don't even realize it you gotten there. Maybe

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Speaker 4: it's a motivational podcast see motivations.

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Speaker 1: We just we want to demotivate you to financially making

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Speaker 1: it to be okay with who you are in this

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Speaker 1: mode that's kind of wholesome. We want you to stay

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Speaker 1: right where you are. We're reverse engineering it and just

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Speaker 1: changing your mindset. Yeah, exactly, exactly.

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Speaker 4: But V I suppose it's a question two of what

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Speaker 4: does making it actually mean to you? And I know

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Speaker 4: this is a subjective, so Va, I'm sure you can

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Speaker 4: remember our episode how much is a Lot of Money?

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Speaker 1: From Jen twenty five? I think it was. Yeah, yeah, Beck,

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Speaker 1: it's literally halfway through the year now, even on the podcast,

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Speaker 1: nearly six months. Oh does that feel weird? It does

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Speaker 1: feel weird. Let's have a Barbie party? Yeah, you know,

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Speaker 1: I think we should have a Barbie party? All right?

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Speaker 1: Do we whip that up real quick?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Real quick? You see it on socials later. Great.

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Speaker 4: So for some people in our community, it was, you know,

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Speaker 4: never having to check your bank account before you go shopping,

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Speaker 4: and for some it was never having to work. Again,

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Speaker 4: It's all subjective, but I guess.

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Speaker 1: I loved that conversation. I really, I really liked it.

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Speaker 1: I liked that some people were applying a dollar amount,

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Speaker 1: other people were replying a thing. So their responses on that.

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Speaker 1: We asked the community on an Instagram story and we said, hey, guys, like,

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Speaker 1: what to use a lot of money. We didn't give

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Speaker 1: a lot of context about what it was for or

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Speaker 1: how it worked, so we got, like, I guess, the

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Speaker 1: most organic responses, and some people commented ten thousand dollars,

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Speaker 1: some people commented fifty dollars, some people commented one million, dollars.

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Speaker 1: Other people commented, oh, a lot of money. If I

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Speaker 1: had a lot of money, it would mean that I

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Speaker 1: could get the most expensive sushi train plate without even

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Speaker 1: thinking about it. And then other people would say things like,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, yeah, as you said, I don't have

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Speaker 1: to check the bank before I tap my card, Like

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Speaker 1: that's what a lot of money would mean. And I

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Speaker 1: just think it's so subjective to the circumstances that you've

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Speaker 1: grown up in. It's so subjective to the circumstances that

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Speaker 1: you're currently in that making it is exactly the same.

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Speaker 1: It's so similar, like there's no question of what making

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Speaker 1: it means because to you, making it is your definition

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Speaker 1: of what success in life would mean. And then you

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Speaker 1: know how much money is going to really depend on

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Speaker 1: where you came from. Because Becky, your opinion was like

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Speaker 1: oh v like when we talked about it, it was

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Speaker 1: definitely not a million dollars, Whereas I think that was

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Speaker 1: my response. I think I said, oh, look, a lot

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Speaker 1: of money. What's a lot of money? A house is

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Speaker 1: a lot of money on average, and Capital Cities Melbourne

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Speaker 1: saying it's about a million dollars now, so I just

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Speaker 1: thought that's a lot, Like, that's a lot, a lot

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Speaker 1: of money, but I could have said a billion dollars,

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Speaker 1: that's a lot a lot of money. True, it's all

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Speaker 1: just where's this coming from? And usually goes back to

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Speaker 1: your values. So I find it super interesting.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, absolutely, so I guess, like, let's talk about this

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Speaker 4: idea of financial freedom sexy.

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Speaker 1: Again, it's relative and.

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Speaker 4: Not to diminish anyone's situation here, but where does the

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Speaker 4: average Australian sit in a global context with what we

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Speaker 4: are able to afford.

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Speaker 1: Oh, we're rich, we're rich, we're rich. We are ballers

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Speaker 1: some of us. Yeah, But at the same time, Beck,

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Speaker 1: even if you're struggling, you are so much better off

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Speaker 1: than a lot of other people, a lot of other countries. Like,

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Speaker 1: obviously I don't want you to go, oh, I have

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Speaker 1: to check my privilege when I'm stressed about debt appointment.

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Speaker 1: That's not the case at all. But I think it's

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Speaker 1: about just really going wow, like, we're a first world nation.

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Speaker 1: That is pretty cool that we have the privilege of

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Speaker 1: living in this society. We have a society where if

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Speaker 1: you're not able to generate and income independently, we have welfare.

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Speaker 1: You're not going to be left high and dry. It

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Speaker 1: might not be the lifestyle that you want for yourself,

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Speaker 1: it might not be the ultimate end game. But isn't

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Speaker 1: it crazy that our government will step in and make

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Speaker 1: sure that you can in a way put food on

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Speaker 1: the table. I mean, there's always going to be shortfalls,

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Speaker 1: there's always going to be issues like This is not

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Speaker 1: a conversation about the welfare system and what it does

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Speaker 1: or doesn't do. It's just in comparison to the rest

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Speaker 1: of the world, we are so flipping lucky. So basically,

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Speaker 1: if beck you have a roof over your head, you

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Speaker 1: have three meals a day, you have access to running water,

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Speaker 1: and you make more than forty thousand dollars a year,

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Speaker 1: you're actually in the top one percent of the world's

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Speaker 1: highest income earnest. Really, yes, top one percent. Like when

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Speaker 1: they talk about the one percent, who would have thought

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Speaker 1: that's basically all of us. Yeah, that's going on.

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Speaker 4: We are to right percent that's gone in my Instagram

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Speaker 4: bio top one percent exactly.

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Speaker 1: And the stats say, get this, the worldwide median, So

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Speaker 1: the average annual household income. Do you want to guess

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Speaker 1: do you reckon? Do you want to guess which kind

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Speaker 1: of scared each year? Is it going to make me sad?

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Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think so, because obviously the world

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Speaker 1: is made up of lots of different like average incomes.

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Speaker 1: We know that the average income in Australia is going

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Speaker 1: to be very different to the average income in a

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Speaker 1: very third world country, and you might say, oh wow,

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Speaker 1: like you know, I don't know if the right terminology

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Speaker 1: here is there. But like when you say what's the

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Speaker 1: world's average income, I kind of like take into consideration

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Speaker 1: the average income of an Australian because we know that

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Speaker 1: that's about sixty to seventy thousand dollars on average. But

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Speaker 1: then you also, I don't know, my head goes to

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Speaker 1: like World Vision and they say for a dollar a day,

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Speaker 1: you can do all these things for somebody, and I go, okay,

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Speaker 1: well that's three hundred and sixty five dollars, So like,

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Speaker 1: where where's the medium? Does that make sense? Because you

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Speaker 1: kind of go, all right, well, you know, and obviously

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Speaker 1: there are people in this world that live on wait

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Speaker 1: less than that, but what does that mean? What do

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Speaker 1: you think the average median household income is.

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna say fifty thousand a year, fifty thousand.

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Speaker 1: Flat no, Nah, do you know what's wild? It is

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Speaker 1: nine thousand, seven hundred and thirty three is the world's

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Speaker 1: average my household, god, not individual household. Wow. Wow wow, Okay,

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Speaker 1: so we're pretty lucky.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, I can see I'm getting some perspective now,

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Speaker 4: I'm sold.

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Speaker 1: Ah, very humbled.

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Speaker 4: Absolutely, Okay, that is outrageous that I do actually feel

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Speaker 4: very humbled right now. So this actually makes me think

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Speaker 4: about how we compare ourselves to other people a lot,

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Speaker 4: and even just like try to guess what that was.

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Speaker 4: I was kind of scared because I thought, if this

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Speaker 4: is higher than how much I'm making or how much

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Speaker 4: I've historically made, Yeah, I'm going to be very sad.

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Speaker 1: Why do we do that? What is it about comparison culture?

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Speaker 1: I think your response is actually a really beautiful example, right.

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Speaker 1: So the example is that we often, even when asked

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Speaker 1: to look at something on a global perspective, which we did,

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Speaker 1: you don't actually have the ability to step into the

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Speaker 1: shoes of people that you don't surround yourself with. So

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Speaker 1: your number, I can almost guarantee when you said fifty

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Speaker 1: thousand dollars actually came from the average of the people

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Speaker 1: that surround you. So your friends, your family, like the

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Speaker 1: people that are surrounding you, right, And that makes sense

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Speaker 1: because we are so likely to compare ourselves to our

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Speaker 1: friends and our family and the people that we want

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Speaker 1: to be like the most. And that is so fine

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Speaker 1: to do. But that is why your type of comparison

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Speaker 1: culture is always going to be like, oh, my friend

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Speaker 1: live has x Y and Z, I want x y

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Speaker 1: and Z. Whereas if we went up a different like

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Speaker 1: salary band, those things that those people want are very different.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of like if we shot all the way

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Speaker 1: up to billionaires status, Like billionaires compare themselves to other

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Speaker 1: billionaires and they're like, oh, bloody, Sophia, did you see

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Speaker 1: her wedding? Oh my god, well her wedding was x

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Speaker 1: Y and zed. We will have to do a better one.

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Speaker 1: Like it's one of those things where we actually compare

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Speaker 1: ourselves to our own social circle. And this idea of

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Speaker 1: keeping up with the Joneses actually has levels. And that's

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Speaker 1: where this idea of keeping up with the Joneses comes from.

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Speaker 1: The jones is they're our average next door neighbor, So

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Speaker 1: your average next door neighbor and you're just trying to

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Speaker 1: keep up with them, you're not trying to keep up

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Speaker 1: up with somebody in a completely different salary bracket to you.

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Speaker 1: You're not trying to keep up with someone who is

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Speaker 1: in a completely lower salary bracket to you. You're actually just

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Speaker 1: trying to keep up with where you think that you align.

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Speaker 1: And that is fine to do. But by doing that,

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Speaker 1: you're absorbing all of their values. You're absorbing all of

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Speaker 1: their goals and wishes and hopes for the future. And

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Speaker 1: I find it really interesting. And this brings me back

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Speaker 1: to another point that we've mentioned on the podcast before,

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Speaker 1: and that's there was research done in the US that

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Speaker 1: said the people most likely to go broke were the

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Speaker 1: neighbors of small time lottery winners. So it wasn't people

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Speaker 1: who won a million dollars two million dollars, because, to

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Speaker 1: be honest, usually that bumps you up a salary bracket

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Speaker 1: and you might sell your house and move to a

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Speaker 1: different one, but you compare yourself to people who are

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Speaker 1: similar to you, and you're more likely to go broke

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Speaker 1: because the jones is those guys next door, have you

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Speaker 1: send their boat. I've always wanted a boat. Maybe you know,

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Speaker 1: maybe my husband and I should consider that we don't

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Speaker 1: have the money for it. Maybe we'll get alone, We'll

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Speaker 1: get a boat. Yeah, that's a good lifestyle, kind of

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Speaker 1: like that where you're comparing yourself to like but you

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Speaker 1: don't understand their financial circumstances, and that actually robs you

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Speaker 1: of true happiness and actually creating fulfillment in your own

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Speaker 1: life because you get the boat. Right, the Jones is

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Speaker 1: next door, they've got a boat. They look really happy.

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Speaker 1: Have you seen them in the driveway when they clean

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Speaker 1: their boat after they come back from being out, you know,

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Speaker 1: doing donuts with the kids all afternoon, Like, have you

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Speaker 1: seen them? Have you seen how happy they are? I

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Speaker 1: want that happiness that I can see they're experiencing, and

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure it comes from that materialistic item that

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Speaker 1: they have. I'm going to get one of those because

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Speaker 1: my family wants to experience that too. Isn't that lead

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Speaker 1: then you get the boat. I hate being on the ocean.

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Speaker 1: I have the worst sea sickness in the entire world. Mate,

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Speaker 1: My husband and I went out. Yeah, maintenance, absolutely not.

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Speaker 1: I actually don't want to spend an hour after I

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Speaker 1: get back in washing the boat. Absolutely not. That's not

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Speaker 1: going to create happiness for me. What I could see

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Speaker 1: is that they were really happy in that moment, and

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Speaker 1: I was trying to channel that with the materialistic item

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Speaker 1: that I thought was tied to their happiness. And that's

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Speaker 1: not the case at all. I should have been working

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Speaker 1: on maybe my family dynamics or the way that I

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Speaker 1: am grateful for things, not at all the materialistic items.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's why when we get something, we go.

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Speaker 1: I didn't solve it. I didn't make me happier. What's next?

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Speaker 1: Maybe we need a new car? Actually, beck Y, have

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Speaker 1: you seen their car in their driveway? Do you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean? It's must be the missing link. It

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Speaker 1: must be. It has to be the missing link, like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you got a new car. Oh beg, your T shirt

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Speaker 1: looks so nice. You look so happy today. I think

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Speaker 1: if I got that T shirt, I'd look just as cute.

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Speaker 1: I'd be happier. I'm going to go get that T shirt.

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Speaker 1: Then I put it on and realize that that's not

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Speaker 1: where your happiness was coming from. So I think it's

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Speaker 1: really important to remember I guess your values and your

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Speaker 1: goals and what you want to achieve, and that the

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Speaker 1: boat's not going to do anything. It's just an example.

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Speaker 1: Of you seeing someone else, And I think social media

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Speaker 1: perpetuates this. I see it all the time on TikTok.

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Speaker 1: Do you know why? Because I am the biggest sucker

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Speaker 1: for TikTok. I see some girl with a new skincare

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Speaker 1: routine and she looks real cute and has that puffy

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Speaker 1: headband that they put on. I'd be an influencer if

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Speaker 1: I got a puffy headband. Do you not see my

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Speaker 1: bathroom right now? The damn puffy headband so ugly on me?

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Speaker 1: What the heck did it do anything to make my

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Speaker 1: morning routine feel better? Absolutely not, In fact, properly the opposite.

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Speaker 1: Do I need their new retinal that somebody on TikTok

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Speaker 1: is posting about? No, it's so wild to think that I,

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Speaker 1: even in this position where I would argue that I'm

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Speaker 1: acutely aware of what drives goals and values and reasoning

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Speaker 1: and financial happiness, I still get sucked into being that's Shiny,

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Speaker 1: the little magpie. Like Shiny. I need that Shiny. I

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Speaker 1: need that. And that is where I think it's really

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Speaker 1: important for me to be open about this circumstance, because

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Speaker 1: that will then help you go. Even the experts don't

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Speaker 1: have it all figured out. I know semantically what that means.

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Speaker 1: I know pragmatically how that works in reality, though, my gosh,

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Speaker 1: shiny things ten out of ten, ten out of ten.

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Speaker 1: So take the shiny thing away from that.

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Speaker 4: I don't know what my analogy is going to be,

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Speaker 4: but basically understand what you're saying completely.

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Speaker 1: We're just all different, and I think that we need

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Speaker 1: to break down this I guess hustle culture narrative that

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Speaker 1: we seem to all be so used to and segue

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Speaker 1: away from that into why are we hustling? What are

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Speaker 1: we hustling for? What does making it actually mean? Because

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Speaker 1: how many times have we heard stories about the dude

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Speaker 1: who's making it and we think he's a big dog,

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Speaker 1: and then his wife divorces him because he's not present?

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Speaker 1: Is that what we want? Is that how it works?

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Speaker 1: Like where we your values? Because seemingly it's only once

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Speaker 1: his wife divorces him that he realizes what he had

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Speaker 1: and what he's now missing out on. How do we

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Speaker 1: be more grateful for the things that we already have

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Speaker 1: so that that feels like enough? Yeah, I'm not sure

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Speaker 1: if you know this.

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Speaker 4: This is kind of out of the field, but there

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Speaker 4: is an International Day of Happiness.

431
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,840
Speaker 1: I did not know that. Yeah, isn't that?

432
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:39,000
Speaker 2: So?

433
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:42,040
Speaker 1: What do you do? Just like hold hands and sing kumbaya?

434
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:45,440
Speaker 4: You must be happy. It's illegal to not be happy

435
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:47,240
Speaker 4: on this stay on that day. Did you know that

436
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:48,719
Speaker 4: we are ranked number?

437
00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:49,520
Speaker 1: Actually?

438
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:50,040
Speaker 2: Guess?

439
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,280
Speaker 1: Guess like as in out of all the countries. I

440
00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:57,520
Speaker 1: believe it's worldwide, worldwide. Out of all the countries, who's

441
00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:01,040
Speaker 1: the happiest? Yeah? No, what number or what are we?

442
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:04,000
Speaker 1: I wanted to guess, like, who was number one? That's

443
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:07,520
Speaker 1: a good question. You're on. I reckon. If we asked Americans,

444
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:10,639
Speaker 1: they would say we're the happiest, and I almost guarantee

445
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:14,760
Speaker 1: that they're not. Probably not. I'm gonna get number Hurrian,

446
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,680
Speaker 1: we're number five, number five? You reckon? Yeah, I reckon five.

447
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:21,760
Speaker 1: I have bad news. We are actually number twelve. But

448
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:25,200
Speaker 1: that's still pretty high. That's oh, I guess out of

449
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:26,960
Speaker 1: all the countries. That's not too bad now I think

450
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:27,480
Speaker 1: about it.

451
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:31,399
Speaker 4: Our producer just said that number one is Finland, and

452
00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:33,600
Speaker 4: didn't I say, is that a Nordic country?

453
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 1: They're so honestly, they're so happy, they're so happy. I'm

454
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:41,720
Speaker 1: obsessed with them. Let just live their little best lives.

455
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:42,959
Speaker 4: They live in their best lives, and what was what

456
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:45,399
Speaker 4: was the last one? I apologize Afghanistan.

457
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:47,800
Speaker 1: Look, that actually makes quite a lot of sense as

458
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,440
Speaker 1: to why they wouldn't be happy at this point in time.

459
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:50,879
Speaker 1: Oh that makes me want to hug them all and

460
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 1: do something. No. Our producer is also just let us

461
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 1: know that America was about like fifteen. New Zealand was

462
00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 1: ahead of us, unsurprisingly, Yeah, right, risingly, and their prime

463
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,720
Speaker 1: minister just quit. So like, I'm surprised because I'd be

464
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,119
Speaker 1: really unhappy with that. Maybe this is old data and

465
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,120
Speaker 1: they were just like happy when they had j Cinder. Yeah,

466
00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:12,960
Speaker 1: I be right exactly, I'd be riding once she left.

467
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 1: But anyway, it is so important to talk about it,

468
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:18,600
Speaker 1: and I guess how they measure that is really important

469
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:20,640
Speaker 1: as well, because I think it wasn't a surprise when

470
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:23,920
Speaker 1: a Nordic country was number one, but then also when

471
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:28,240
Speaker 1: Afghanistan was the last. So that study actually looked at

472
00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:31,320
Speaker 1: things like people's freedom to make life choices, which is

473
00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:35,080
Speaker 1: really important, the generosity of the people in that country.

474
00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:39,120
Speaker 1: GDP is a gross domestic product, so obviously that's kind

475
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,960
Speaker 1: of like how much money is coming in and out

476
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:45,600
Speaker 1: of the country, to make sure that economically it's doing well,

477
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:51,440
Speaker 1: perceptions of corruption among citizens, healthy life expectancy, so I

478
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:54,119
Speaker 1: guess that stretches into lots of different areas at the

479
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:57,000
Speaker 1: crux of it, and then things like social support. So

480
00:22:57,040 --> 00:23:00,760
Speaker 1: that makes sense because the Nordies they've got elite amounts

481
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,000
Speaker 1: of maternity. Do you know they get like a year

482
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:06,520
Speaker 1: of paid leave. That is what's he classic. They are

483
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 1: so good health care across the board. Yeap, No, no,

484
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:12,400
Speaker 1: you don't need to pay to go to the GP.

485
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:15,520
Speaker 1: They're like, what's a gap? We've never heard of one. Oh,

486
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:17,399
Speaker 1: never medicare we don't need you.

487
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:20,320
Speaker 4: This is possibly fake news, but I heard not a

488
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:21,840
Speaker 4: single bully, not.

489
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:24,640
Speaker 1: A single bully. All right, well we'll have to put

490
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:26,920
Speaker 1: an asterix on that, because I'm sure that there are

491
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:30,840
Speaker 1: some naughty naughties, possibly some bullies, possibly some bullies, but

492
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,520
Speaker 1: you know what we're glorifying, then we're putting them on

493
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:37,360
Speaker 1: that big pedestal. Obviously, understandably, a population is only going

494
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:40,439
Speaker 1: to be experiencing really high levels of overall life satisfaction

495
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:43,879
Speaker 1: if it's people are like pro social, healthy and prosperous.

496
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:46,399
Speaker 1: So all of that makes a lot of sense. In

497
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:49,439
Speaker 1: other words, basically, it's people have to have high levels

498
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,800
Speaker 1: of what Aristotle get this called youdy ammonia. So at

499
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:56,040
Speaker 1: the level of society, life satisfaction and you to ammonia

500
00:23:56,240 --> 00:24:00,399
Speaker 1: go hand in hand. Beack, that's a mouthful of a word. Healthful.

501
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:03,680
Speaker 1: We might have to google what that means. Altruism full

502
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:07,119
Speaker 1: of a word, but altruism is also highly linked to happiness.

503
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,439
Speaker 1: And the study that was done that we're talking about

504
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:13,399
Speaker 1: actually consistently found that we get greater joy by giving

505
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,000
Speaker 1: to others. Oh that is so wholesome. Isn't that cute? Yeah,

506
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,720
Speaker 1: that's really cute. I think it makes sense because I

507
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 1: just love giving people presents.

508
00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:21,439
Speaker 4: We should try that today, but you actually try that

509
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:23,480
Speaker 4: every day. I'm going to try to start doing that.

510
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 1: I love that. All right, let's go to a really

511
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,600
Speaker 1: quick break. Let's go to flipside. We need to re establish,

512
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:30,800
Speaker 1: and we will go back to talking about the mists

513
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:36,640
Speaker 1: at hand. We are back.

514
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:39,240
Speaker 4: We just had another look at the actual ranker and

515
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:41,720
Speaker 4: it is very interesting. I recommend googling that. But moving

516
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,520
Speaker 4: to one hundred percent. Sorry we forgot to mention we are.

517
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:47,280
Speaker 1: Both moving to Finland. Yeah, moving to Finland. I want

518
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:49,320
Speaker 1: to live there. I just think that they're happier. Also,

519
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,840
Speaker 1: they're really hot, and they're hot. They're hot, they're really

520
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,480
Speaker 1: hot people, and I'm hoping that via osmosis, I will

521
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:58,680
Speaker 1: get hotter. Listen to us, we're comparing. Yeah, we are,

522
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:03,440
Speaker 1: but like sugar, that's moss is a scientific term where

523
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:06,200
Speaker 1: if you yeah, anyway, we'll go on about that later.

524
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,639
Speaker 1: This is not she's on the science, she's on the money.

525
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:09,119
Speaker 1: Carry on.

526
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:12,359
Speaker 4: Okay, So back to the topic. I'm wondering what are

527
00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:14,439
Speaker 4: some of the traps we get ourselves into when we

528
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:17,359
Speaker 4: focus on this quote unquote making it myss.

529
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 1: Obviously, it's super important to be doing things like setting goals,

530
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:23,359
Speaker 1: and that's really positive and totally natural to want to

531
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:26,199
Speaker 1: have things like ambitions, whatever that means for you. But

532
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:29,040
Speaker 1: we need to be careful about not letting these things

533
00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:33,760
Speaker 1: become toxic and flipping into a narrative that either it's

534
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:36,200
Speaker 1: not going to work for us or is actually detrimental

535
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:39,400
Speaker 1: to the rest of our life. That completely makes sense,

536
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:41,879
Speaker 1: and I guess it kind of makes me think, and

537
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:45,640
Speaker 1: this could probably sound a little bit random, but random.

538
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:49,120
Speaker 1: Is there more pressure on women to be like everything,

539
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:51,800
Speaker 1: be it all one hundred percent. I even feel the

540
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:53,560
Speaker 1: pressure to be at all right, Like it is no

541
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:55,919
Speaker 1: secret that I really want to be a mum, Like

542
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,919
Speaker 1: I want to have a baby. At some point it

543
00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 1: will be the light of my life, I'm hoping. Imagine

544
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:01,679
Speaker 1: if I got there and I'm like, this is trash.

545
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:04,080
Speaker 1: Why did I do this? But it's just this idea

546
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:06,199
Speaker 1: that I want to be a career driven woman. I

547
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:07,320
Speaker 1: want to be a mom, I want to be a

548
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 1: good wife. I want to, you know, be financially successful

549
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:13,119
Speaker 1: also life successful. And I feel like that we feel

550
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:16,600
Speaker 1: that additional pressure not only because we put it on ourselves,

551
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 1: but also because women are judged so harshly. Like there's

552
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:22,359
Speaker 1: a case in point right here, right. I follow Steph

553
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 1: Claire Smith on social media, Obsessed with her, love her.

554
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:29,359
Speaker 1: I think that she is this incredible role model for

555
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 1: women and people everywhere to just be I don't know,

556
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:35,879
Speaker 1: more wholesome, do a better job, be the best version

557
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:39,240
Speaker 1: of you, Like I'm obsessed with the whole kick vibe. Anyway,

558
00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:41,199
Speaker 1: we won't go on and on about that, but it

559
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:45,680
Speaker 1: is wild because she posts so much content about her

560
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 1: and her son Harvey online and Harvey Honestly, that kid

561
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:54,400
Speaker 1: is one of the most esthetically pleasing toddlers you've seen

562
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:56,879
Speaker 1: in your life. Like, he has these curls that you

563
00:26:56,920 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 1: could just eat, and you know, there's these beautiful view

564
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:03,119
Speaker 1: of her making porridge with him or just doing mum stuff,

565
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:06,480
Speaker 1: and I just I find that, from my perspective, so motivating,

566
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:08,640
Speaker 1: and I just think that there's this idea that, wow,

567
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:11,600
Speaker 1: she can be at all. But the amount of criticism

568
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 1: that this poor woman gets because of the amount of

569
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:17,080
Speaker 1: work that she does. People are like, oh, where's your son?

570
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:19,520
Speaker 1: Who's looking after your son? Or you don't spend enough

571
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:21,600
Speaker 1: time with your kid, You don't do this, you don't

572
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:24,960
Speaker 1: do that. Like obviously she travels a bit for work,

573
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:27,280
Speaker 1: as do I. It's going to be the reality of

574
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:30,200
Speaker 1: my life at some point too, But that doesn't mean

575
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,919
Speaker 1: that this kid isn't fulfilled. And there just is this

576
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:36,720
Speaker 1: idea that you can't have it all, so people want

577
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:39,359
Speaker 1: it all. But then if you're seen to be having

578
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:42,560
Speaker 1: a good life and balancing it, and I don't believe

579
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:44,879
Speaker 1: in balance, I just don't think it exists, well, people

580
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:46,880
Speaker 1: will cut you down and let you know that, oh, well,

581
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:48,879
Speaker 1: what are you doing, where's your kid. Why aren't you

582
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 1: looking after your kid as though that kid doesn't have

583
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:56,160
Speaker 1: another parent that is completely competent and capable. Like I swear,

584
00:27:56,400 --> 00:28:00,240
Speaker 1: if somebody ever asks me about my child one day

585
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,680
Speaker 1: and where they are or what they're doing, heads will roll.

586
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:07,560
Speaker 1: Heads will roll, because that, to me is undermining the

587
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,840
Speaker 1: fact that I have a completely capable life partner that

588
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,520
Speaker 1: can also help me in that circumstance. And I just

589
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:17,159
Speaker 1: don't believe in this concept of work life balance in

590
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,240
Speaker 1: the way that it used to exist, because the way

591
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:22,680
Speaker 1: that it used to exist was that one entity in

592
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:25,960
Speaker 1: a family could go to work and earn enough money.

593
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:29,240
Speaker 1: Beck one person could go to work, earn enough money

594
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:32,480
Speaker 1: to buy a house, pay the mortgage, put food on

595
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:35,439
Speaker 1: the table, go on a humble family holiday each and

596
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 1: every single year, put children through education, and have a

597
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 1: good life while having another party who stayed home full

598
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:45,480
Speaker 1: time to do housekeeping duties. Oh my god, imagine that.

599
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:48,400
Speaker 1: Do you have anyone in your life where only one

600
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 1: person in that relationship works, but they own a house,

601
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,440
Speaker 1: have kids that live their best life and don't have

602
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 1: any financial stress. Not a single person. It's not the

603
00:28:56,680 --> 00:29:00,400
Speaker 1: reality anymore. No, And this idea that that's the type

604
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:03,280
Speaker 1: of commitment we should be giving. Blows my mind, but

605
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 1: also it's just so unrealistic. I also think it's really

606
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:10,440
Speaker 1: important that, regardless of how the circumstances have changed, Beck,

607
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,640
Speaker 1: is it not the coolest thing in the entire world

608
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:16,400
Speaker 1: that one day I might be able to become a

609
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:20,240
Speaker 1: mum who has her best life. At the same time,

610
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 1: like I am obsessed with she's on the money. I

611
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:28,280
Speaker 1: cannot imagine leaving that community to focus on creating a family.

612
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,960
Speaker 1: Do you know why? Because I'd be really upset. I

613
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,560
Speaker 1: would not be motivated, I would not be the best

614
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:35,680
Speaker 1: version of myself. And if I'm not the best version

615
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:37,240
Speaker 1: of myself, how the hell am I going to be

616
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:39,840
Speaker 1: a good mum? And I guess to further that, I'm

617
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 1: so flip and lucky. I grew up in a family

618
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:45,160
Speaker 1: where both my parents worked full time, and I think

619
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 1: that's where my work ethic ended up coming from. Do

620
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 1: I feel like I had less? Do I feel like

621
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:51,040
Speaker 1: I missed out on anything?

622
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:51,480
Speaker 2: No?

623
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 1: Did I love after school care every single time?

624
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:54,440
Speaker 2: No?

625
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:56,720
Speaker 1: Not ideal, but like, you get what you get, and

626
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:59,320
Speaker 1: you don't get upset sometimes because even that was a

627
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:02,680
Speaker 1: privilege when you look back on it, like, why is

628
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 1: this concept that I would need to be with my

629
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 1: child twenty four seven for them to have a good,

630
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:12,640
Speaker 1: fulfilling life. The reality, yeah, it makes to me absolutely

631
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:16,200
Speaker 1: no sense. But the idea that all of that burden

632
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:18,840
Speaker 1: is put only on the mum. Have you ever heard

633
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 1: someone go just about to say, Steve, Steve, where's your kid?

634
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:25,360
Speaker 1: Right now? You're in a meeting? What are you doing?

635
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 2: Yeah?

636
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 1: How much time do you spend with your child? That's

637
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:31,160
Speaker 1: so wild? And then obviously this is you know, I

638
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:33,080
Speaker 1: don't have kids, So this is not a projection of

639
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,760
Speaker 1: my own parenting technique or anything like that, but a

640
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:39,120
Speaker 1: guarantee at some point, I'm going to post a picture

641
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,240
Speaker 1: of my child and my husband just at the park

642
00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:44,480
Speaker 1: and they're going to go he's such a good dad,

643
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:47,680
Speaker 1: he's so good. Oh my god, is he pushing that

644
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 1: kid on a swing elite? Yeah. But I've emptied the dishwasher,

645
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:54,480
Speaker 1: I've done like three loads of washing, I've cleaned the

646
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 1: house all before my kid and my husband woke up.

647
00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:59,560
Speaker 1: I did all of these other things, and people were like,

648
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:03,240
Speaker 1: as your kid, you grew a human, grew a whole

649
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 1: entire human, And I don't even get a you get

650
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 1: a gold star deck. Yeah, I get a Yeah, Well

651
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:13,959
Speaker 1: you're the mum exactly. You're the mum though, Yeah, And

652
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,160
Speaker 1: you know what, then I guess to stretch this further

653
00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 1: because lots of my friends have kids, and I'm obsessed

654
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 1: with them. The audacity on those tiny toddlers to then

655
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:24,640
Speaker 1: make the dad their favorite. Oh or are you joking?

656
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:29,680
Speaker 1: Are you joking? Tiny terrorists? Are you joking? Like they go,

657
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 1: you do all the work, you get all the societal pressure,

658
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 1: nobody is going to step in and help you. But

659
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:38,760
Speaker 1: the second they say your husband pushing a kid in

660
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 1: the supermarket being like, they're like, oh do you need hand? Like, oh,

661
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 1: that must be hard work looking after that toddler. No,

662
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:48,360
Speaker 1: you know what for them the kid to be like Also,

663
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:51,320
Speaker 1: by the way, you're not my favorite mum, Daddy is.

664
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 1: Daddy is.

665
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:55,920
Speaker 4: And you know, there's something quite cruel about the fact

666
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 4: that children do say dada a lot.

667
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:03,160
Speaker 1: Fun. Look, there's obviously this is just like stretching into

668
00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:06,680
Speaker 1: like a science lesson moving career, but I did actually

669
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:09,880
Speaker 1: do psychology. Few things to note they're just on the

670
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:14,040
Speaker 1: science front. First thing, First, dadda is an easier phrase

671
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:17,320
Speaker 1: for little kids to say quicker, and often because the

672
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 1: mum is always talking about the dad, it comes up quicker, right.

673
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:24,760
Speaker 1: That makes you know, oh, when's dad coming home or

674
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:27,400
Speaker 1: dadd a rah, Like they are going to pick that

675
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:30,440
Speaker 1: up easier than mum, because the articulation is a little

676
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 1: bit different. But then also I think it's up until

677
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 1: the age of eighteen months, kids actually see their mum

678
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 1: as an extension of them. They do not view their

679
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:44,200
Speaker 1: mother as a separate individual to them. They just go, well,

680
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:47,440
Speaker 1: that's mum because I have no capacity to look after myself,

681
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:50,160
Speaker 1: so that's me looking after myself. That's just mom. Dad.

682
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:53,520
Speaker 1: He's really exciting because he is actually an independent body

683
00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:56,720
Speaker 1: and that's really fun moms actually, given that's so the

684
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 1: actually mums are not the favorite. It's not because you're

685
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:02,360
Speaker 1: not the favorite, babe. It's actually just because their little

686
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 1: brains think that you are them and they are you insane,

687
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:07,800
Speaker 1: that is so it's kind of cute, right, And once

688
00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:10,080
Speaker 1: you understand it, you're like, oh, well, and you know what,

689
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:12,880
Speaker 1: I guarantee when I'm a mum, this circumstance will happen

690
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 1: and I'm going to be elated. It's five am. On

691
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 1: a Sunday morning. Back my kid can say Dad, they're screaming, Dad,

692
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:21,959
Speaker 1: and I get to roll over in bed and be like,

693
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 1: it's you, honey, perfect, that's you. Oh my gosh, I

694
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:27,240
Speaker 1: can see it's going to be studying.

695
00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:29,720
Speaker 4: I'll be like, that's you, that's not me. In that case,

696
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 4: I'm kind of happy about that.

697
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:33,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, So like we're not mad. I'm mad they're the

698
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:37,840
Speaker 1: favorite because I am that child, so therefore I'm also

699
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:42,880
Speaker 1: your favorite. Yes, stunning. Anyway, let's get back to talk

700
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 1: about this idea of having it all. So there's a

701
00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:49,000
Speaker 1: term that we probably both hear a lot recently, and

702
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:52,440
Speaker 1: that is girl boss. So I kind of just want

703
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 1: to touch on girl boss hustle culture, that kind of I'm

704
00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:58,920
Speaker 1: not a girl, I'm actually a woman. I didn't know

705
00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:01,800
Speaker 1: that actually to start like that. I feel like even

706
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 1: the term girl boss, if you like sit and stare

707
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 1: at it for a hot minute, it's like the patriarchy

708
00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:11,839
Speaker 1: sticking their middle finger up at you because they won't

709
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:14,440
Speaker 1: even call me a woman. In that circumstance, a girl

710
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:18,960
Speaker 1: is flitty and fun and like doesn't take anything seriously.

711
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 1: I'm not just a boss and a girl boss like

712
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,000
Speaker 1: I feel like there was this culture where we're really

713
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:26,279
Speaker 1: trying to embrace it for a while. But I just

714
00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:30,319
Speaker 1: think that this idea that we need to reference our

715
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:34,160
Speaker 1: gender when talking about our professional capabilities blows my mind.

716
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:40,000
Speaker 1: Oh a female doctor, female lawyer, Yeah, girl boss. No,

717
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:42,640
Speaker 1: I actually just happened to be a boss of a business.

718
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:45,680
Speaker 1: I actually I don't even call myself a boss. I

719
00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:48,080
Speaker 1: think that that's actually really toxic because I don't want

720
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,520
Speaker 1: to boss my team around. I actually want to be

721
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:52,920
Speaker 1: a leader. I would love to think that. You know,

722
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,480
Speaker 1: if you sat down my team individually, they'd be like, yeah,

723
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:57,880
Speaker 1: he's a really good leader, Like she leads by example.

724
00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:00,520
Speaker 1: I don't want to be somebody that bosses people. It

725
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:03,480
Speaker 1: just the whole thing to me is toxic. But the

726
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:07,840
Speaker 1: idea of this girl boss culture and this hustle culture,

727
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:10,880
Speaker 1: gen z, they've got it covered. I want to be

728
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:13,680
Speaker 1: a gen Z when I grow up. They have it covered.

729
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:16,080
Speaker 1: They have canceled it, they're pushing it back. They leave

730
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:18,479
Speaker 1: on time, they leave their jobs. They're like, oh babe,

731
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:20,399
Speaker 1: it's five pm, and people will be like, well, why

732
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:22,239
Speaker 1: are you leaving? Like we've got hips to They'll be like,

733
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:24,840
Speaker 1: are you going to pay me, Like the audacity on

734
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:27,640
Speaker 1: a gen Z needs to be cut and pasde into

735
00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:31,239
Speaker 1: every other generation because I'm obsessed. But then you talk

736
00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:33,080
Speaker 1: to the baby boomers and they'll say things like, oh,

737
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 1: but you have to cut your teeth. Oh but you

738
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,799
Speaker 1: have to put in the time, energy and effort. Oh yeah,

739
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:39,799
Speaker 1: well I had to do it, so you have to

740
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:43,319
Speaker 1: do it. Absolutely not, No, I can't say that, Like,

741
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:46,239
Speaker 1: your ability and your capability and your worth as an

742
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:49,560
Speaker 1: individual is not dictated by how many hours you put

743
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:52,760
Speaker 1: into that thing. Like it just it blows my mind.

744
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:55,719
Speaker 1: But this idea of having it all, I think there

745
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:57,680
Speaker 1: is this idea of having it all, but it looks

746
00:35:57,719 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 1: really different these days. And I think that to flip

747
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:03,040
Speaker 1: this to be a little bit of a personal anecdote,

748
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:06,000
Speaker 1: COVID taught me a lot about having it all. Like

749
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:08,640
Speaker 1: you guys know, I would hope by now enough about

750
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:10,840
Speaker 1: me to know that I came out of corporate. I

751
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:15,000
Speaker 1: was running a relatively large business. COVID happened. We decided

752
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:17,480
Speaker 1: to really scale it back. I just didn't want to

753
00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:20,160
Speaker 1: do what I was doing, like I was the girl boss.

754
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:22,120
Speaker 1: And I think that we need to acknowledge that I

755
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:25,000
Speaker 1: did fall into that. Obviously my mentality now has changed,

756
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 1: but like beck get this. I would get up this.

757
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 1: It is disgusting, and I mean, if you want to

758
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:31,880
Speaker 1: scroll back that far on my Instagram, you're probably going

759
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:33,440
Speaker 1: to find it because I haven't tried to hide it.

760
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:37,920
Speaker 1: But yeah, so I used to get up at four

761
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:40,839
Speaker 1: thirty am. I used to go to the gym. There

762
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,520
Speaker 1: was a very long period of time where I thought

763
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:46,279
Speaker 1: a bulletproof coffee was real cool. So I'd make that

764
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:50,200
Speaker 1: in my neutral bullet I blend butter with coffee because

765
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:53,719
Speaker 1: obviously that's genius, and I'd put MHC or something. There

766
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:56,719
Speaker 1: was like some kind of special it was like this

767
00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:58,759
Speaker 1: oil I can't even remember, but I would buy it

768
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 1: online from herb. Anyway, I'd have my bulletproof coffee and

769
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:03,799
Speaker 1: I would have gone to the gym, and I was

770
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:06,759
Speaker 1: like stacking on the protein. I would like journal. I

771
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:08,680
Speaker 1: didn't even know what I was writing at that point,

772
00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:10,799
Speaker 1: but like, this is how to be successful, this is

773
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:13,239
Speaker 1: what you do. Like I was journaling junk, like I

774
00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:15,399
Speaker 1: wasn't putting down my real feelings. I was writing things

775
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:18,000
Speaker 1: out like I am a boss, I'm a badst bitch,

776
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:21,160
Speaker 1: like it was like really bad. And then I had

777
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:24,400
Speaker 1: this idea in my head that to be the leader

778
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:27,719
Speaker 1: of the company, I needed to always be work. So

779
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:29,759
Speaker 1: like I would make sure I was at work by

780
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:32,759
Speaker 1: like seven or seven thirty, so that I was there

781
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 1: before every single one of my staff got there, so

782
00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:37,000
Speaker 1: I could be like, oh, good morning, and I was

783
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:39,839
Speaker 1: like there before you. Also, if you were still there

784
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:42,320
Speaker 1: in the afternoon, there is absolutely no chance I would

785
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:44,520
Speaker 1: have left before you. I would make sure I was

786
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:47,000
Speaker 1: a first in and the last out, because that's how

787
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:50,560
Speaker 1: business owners should be, right. I had absolutely no life.

788
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:53,200
Speaker 1: My mental health was in the bin. Yeah. I looked

789
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:55,000
Speaker 1: pretty cute though, because like I got up and I

790
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:57,279
Speaker 1: always put on my little power suit and looked great,

791
00:37:57,440 --> 00:37:59,799
Speaker 1: rah rah. But that was not a reflection of my

792
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:03,840
Speaker 1: men health space. COVID happened, forced and all. There's obviously

793
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:05,479
Speaker 1: like a few gaps in this story if that's fine,

794
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 1: But COVID happened realized that that was trash. Was forced

795
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:12,000
Speaker 1: to work from home. Obviously, mental health for everybody during

796
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,320
Speaker 1: that period of time sucked. So I was spending way

797
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:16,759
Speaker 1: way more time in bed. I also wasn't having to

798
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:20,040
Speaker 1: please anybody or like adhere to these cultural norms of

799
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:22,440
Speaker 1: being there at seven am. So I started sleeping in,

800
00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:25,440
Speaker 1: and I started not having that disgusting bulletproof coffee, and

801
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:27,800
Speaker 1: I started like listening to my body and how it works.

802
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:30,400
Speaker 1: And now the way I run a business is entirely different.

803
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:33,280
Speaker 1: And I do think that having it all means something

804
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:35,840
Speaker 1: so different. Like do I want to be the biggest

805
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:39,400
Speaker 1: business in the world. No, Like I am so adverse

806
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:44,160
Speaker 1: to hiring new individuals into the team unless it's absolutely

807
00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:48,000
Speaker 1: critical to maintaining the quality of content that we put

808
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,000
Speaker 1: out here. I don't want to be the biggest podcast

809
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:51,879
Speaker 1: in the world. I don't want that burden. I don't

810
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:54,160
Speaker 1: want that responsibility. Do you know how much fun we

811
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:57,360
Speaker 1: have every day? Like we come in it's relaxed, Like

812
00:38:57,440 --> 00:38:59,000
Speaker 1: I get to catch up with what I feel like

813
00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:01,880
Speaker 1: am my good friends. Like we create some content. We

814
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:04,400
Speaker 1: don't put timelines on things in the same way that

815
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:07,640
Speaker 1: I would have done historically. Like I've been talking about

816
00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:10,800
Speaker 1: a new investment course for so long. I'm so excited

817
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:12,320
Speaker 1: by the way it's coming. We've done on the branding,

818
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:14,719
Speaker 1: I have started writing it. It is coming, but like

819
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,399
Speaker 1: we haven't put a due date on it because I'd

820
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:20,400
Speaker 1: prefer it to be created in this beautiful way that

821
00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:22,759
Speaker 1: everybody's always engaged with it, and when it happens, we'll

822
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:25,560
Speaker 1: start announcing it. But historical me would have been like,

823
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:27,360
Speaker 1: all right, Beck, so we need to sit down and

824
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:29,080
Speaker 1: we need to map this out and get it done

825
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 1: by the first of March, and then it goes out.

826
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 1: Here's the marketing strategy. Like, I've just taken away the

827
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 1: aggression from what I have been creating, and I think

828
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:39,880
Speaker 1: that that has meant that we've thrived even more. Like

829
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:43,400
Speaker 1: this idea that my team don't have set working hours.

830
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:45,279
Speaker 1: It's just like thirty eight hours a week. Yep, call

831
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:47,840
Speaker 1: it even. Like, I just think this idea of hustle

832
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:50,400
Speaker 1: culture it's dead. And you know why it's dead because

833
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:53,080
Speaker 1: you can't be your best self when you're focusing so

834
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:56,200
Speaker 1: hard on something that shouldn't even define you. Yeah, I

835
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:58,600
Speaker 1: don't want to go to a barbecue and people go,

836
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:01,879
Speaker 1: are you that girl from shees on the Yeah, I'm

837
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:04,319
Speaker 1: also I'm a really cool friend and I really like

838
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:07,279
Speaker 1: talking absolute trash, and I really like this other friend

839
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:09,360
Speaker 1: i'd like to introduce you to. And I'd like to

840
00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:11,360
Speaker 1: have a nice cocktail and have a good time, like

841
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:13,640
Speaker 1: I don't want to be defined by my work. Yeah,

842
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:16,560
Speaker 1: it's very unlikely that I would talk to you about

843
00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:18,120
Speaker 1: that because I'm like, oh, I do that a week,

844
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:20,399
Speaker 1: Like can we not talk about that? So I think

845
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:22,719
Speaker 1: it's really important to go, well, what's a value to you?

846
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:24,359
Speaker 1: And I'm pretty sure Beck if I sat you down

847
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:26,160
Speaker 1: and said what are your values? Do you want to

848
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:27,640
Speaker 1: be defined by the work that you do?

849
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 2: Not?

850
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:30,440
Speaker 1: Really? You don't want to be a video producer forever

851
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:32,360
Speaker 1: and a podcaster like that's who you are and what

852
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:34,759
Speaker 1: you do when you live and you breathe it. I'm

853
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:36,680
Speaker 1: kind of getting that way, but I definitely don't want

854
00:40:36,719 --> 00:40:39,240
Speaker 1: to be. Yeah, but it's because you're passionate, not because

855
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:42,319
Speaker 1: you're forced into the society. I think you need to

856
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 1: adhere to the social norms of what a video producer

857
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:49,399
Speaker 1: would look like exactly exactly. It's crazy to me this

858
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:54,520
Speaker 1: idea that, especially as women, we are expected to adhere

859
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:56,799
Speaker 1: to our job right, Like if you see a lawyer

860
00:40:56,920 --> 00:41:01,839
Speaker 1: on Instagram, a female lawyer, Ye, girl lawyer, I'm gonna

861
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:05,000
Speaker 1: start being really condescending and I'd be like doctor male doctor,

862
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:09,440
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's a boy doctor boy doctor, boy scientist,

863
00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 1: a boy signed, a boy scientist. I've never heard of

864
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:15,480
Speaker 1: that before. But I just I think this idea that

865
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:18,760
Speaker 1: as women we need to be professional twenty four seven

866
00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:23,759
Speaker 1: absolutely out the window, like it, straight out, straight out,

867
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:26,880
Speaker 1: It makes absolutely no sense. Why can't I be seen

868
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:31,040
Speaker 1: as an absolute professional and also love cats and buy

869
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:33,720
Speaker 1: fairy wings on the internet and love painting my nails

870
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 1: rainbow colors and talking to my friends about absolute trash

871
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:40,799
Speaker 1: and sharing that publicly while not diminishing the fact that

872
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:44,160
Speaker 1: I am actually a finance expert. I have a lot

873
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:47,960
Speaker 1: of credentials in this space. I'm actually relatively intelligent. My

874
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:50,920
Speaker 1: fun and my life doesn't matter. I might be a

875
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:53,239
Speaker 1: train wreck on the weekends. Does that change the level

876
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:55,640
Speaker 1: of intelligence and value I bring to the world. Absolutely not?

877
00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:59,080
Speaker 1: You do you boo? Absolutely sis, one hundred percent. I'm

878
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 1: not about to go create only fans. It's just not

879
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:03,719
Speaker 1: my vibe. But like if I did, does that mean

880
00:42:03,719 --> 00:42:06,000
Speaker 1: that I am not as smart when it comes to

881
00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:09,160
Speaker 1: managing money? No, absolutely not. But that doesn't make me

882
00:42:09,239 --> 00:42:11,600
Speaker 1: any less of a human because I have different values

883
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:14,279
Speaker 1: and goals and things that I like engaging in. I

884
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:16,439
Speaker 1: think that when it comes back to what does making

885
00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:18,239
Speaker 1: it actually mean? What do you actually want out of

886
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:20,560
Speaker 1: your life? I think a really big question that we

887
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:24,439
Speaker 1: need to ask ourselves is is my career dictating who

888
00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:27,040
Speaker 1: I am? And if it is, and you're so passionate

889
00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:28,920
Speaker 1: about it, great, Because as much as I personally talk

890
00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:31,640
Speaker 1: about not wanting to be defined by my job, far

891
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:34,680
Speaker 1: out berecome obsessed Like I live it, I breathe it,

892
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:36,719
Speaker 1: like I get up in the mornings and I'm thinking

893
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:38,920
Speaker 1: of new things that I can do. I'm so passionate

894
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:41,359
Speaker 1: about it. You might not have that passion, and that

895
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:44,680
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Not everyone has a passion exactly.

896
00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:48,480
Speaker 4: We've talked heaps about this kind of like grass is

897
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 4: greener mindset and this kind of like comparison culture and

898
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:52,480
Speaker 4: things like that.

899
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:54,440
Speaker 1: But I guess what should we take away?

900
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:57,560
Speaker 4: How can we shift our mentality and kind of bring

901
00:42:57,560 --> 00:43:01,440
Speaker 4: ourselves up and stop this like looking at our the

902
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:04,279
Speaker 4: Joneses and our neighbors and trying to like, you know,

903
00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:05,799
Speaker 4: one up each other.

904
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:10,879
Speaker 1: So you know horses, horses, I do know, yeah, yeah, Well,

905
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:13,440
Speaker 1: so they have these things called blinkers that they put

906
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:15,879
Speaker 1: on them so that when they're racing, they don't get

907
00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:19,719
Speaker 1: distracted by the horse beside them, because they'll be like, oh, horseye,

908
00:43:19,719 --> 00:43:23,280
Speaker 1: that's crazy, and that's what I'm like, So I need

909
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:26,000
Speaker 1: to put some blinkers on to make sure that I

910
00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:28,759
Speaker 1: can't see what other people are doing. And I think

911
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:33,720
Speaker 1: that that starts by only following content online that actually

912
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:36,680
Speaker 1: resonates with you. I think there's a very big difference

913
00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:40,560
Speaker 1: between aspirational content and content that you're following because you're

914
00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:42,799
Speaker 1: envious of it deeply. And I think we need to

915
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:44,359
Speaker 1: have a look at that and go, well, where are

916
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:46,920
Speaker 1: we starting? Because obviously, when we talk about the grass

917
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:50,359
Speaker 1: is always greener mindset, there's this black and white view

918
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:52,640
Speaker 1: that it's all or nothing. And I think that when

919
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:55,719
Speaker 1: we talk about well where are you getting your content from?

920
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:58,160
Speaker 1: Beck like, how is this working? How do we put

921
00:43:58,239 --> 00:44:01,200
Speaker 1: maybe some blinders on ourselves so that we can only

922
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:03,319
Speaker 1: see our personal goals and what we are trying to

923
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:06,960
Speaker 1: achieve and still celebrate what people are doing on the sidelines,

924
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:08,799
Speaker 1: but it's not the main focus. It's not something that

925
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:11,120
Speaker 1: really distracts us. We can engage with it. You know,

926
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:13,680
Speaker 1: you could completely turn around and go, Victoria, what are

927
00:44:13,719 --> 00:44:15,640
Speaker 1: you doing? How does that make sense, but then you're

928
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:17,759
Speaker 1: able to get back on track and see what your

929
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:21,000
Speaker 1: goals are with clarity instead of them being confused. Like

930
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:23,239
Speaker 1: I don't want you to go into someone else's lane

931
00:44:23,239 --> 00:44:25,480
Speaker 1: because it looks like the grass is greener, because it's

932
00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:30,560
Speaker 1: genuinely an optical illusion, Like everybody's life is a highlights reel.

933
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:32,880
Speaker 1: And I know that we talk about this before and

934
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,640
Speaker 1: it's not something I haven't mentioned on the podcast, but

935
00:44:35,719 --> 00:44:38,640
Speaker 1: when we say it's a highlights reel, obviously, social media

936
00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:41,840
Speaker 1: really exemplifies that because you know, you see people's stories

937
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:43,719
Speaker 1: every day, even my stories, right Like, I'm not going

938
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:45,319
Speaker 1: to post the parts that I'm feeling a little bit

939
00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:47,160
Speaker 1: flat because it's just not engaging. I'm not going to

940
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:49,320
Speaker 1: post the parts that are a little bit mundane and boring,

941
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:52,120
Speaker 1: like me walking to different meetings or taking notes or

942
00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:54,560
Speaker 1: you know, looking at my pod content being like, oh,

943
00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:57,280
Speaker 1: what are we doing next? I'll post the part where

944
00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:59,279
Speaker 1: someone brings a coffee into our studio and it's all

945
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:03,879
Speaker 1: uppity and fun, but also that stretches into life. Beck,

946
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:05,839
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna sit down with you at brunch and

947
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:08,799
Speaker 1: go how are you? And you go trauma dump like

948
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:10,840
Speaker 1: you're gonna go, oh, I'm really good, and you're be like,

949
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:13,480
Speaker 1: internally you kind of go, wow, beck's really good, I'm

950
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:16,480
Speaker 1: not really good. Like the entire world is a highlights

951
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:18,840
Speaker 1: reel because we always want to focus on the positive

952
00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:22,280
Speaker 1: and share the positive because we usually have some type

953
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:26,040
Speaker 1: of guilt by burdening other people with negativity, so you

954
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:28,359
Speaker 1: don't want to do that. So the grass is always

955
00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:30,560
Speaker 1: greener because someone's telling you that their grass is so

956
00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:33,279
Speaker 1: green right now, how is it over there in that past?

957
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 1: You Beck, and you be like, look, it's really nice,

958
00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:38,120
Speaker 1: Like thanks for asking, I'm having the best time look

959
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:40,200
Speaker 1: at my green grass. And then when you look down,

960
00:45:40,239 --> 00:45:42,480
Speaker 1: you're like, far out's pretty muddy in here. I'm feeling

961
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:45,799
Speaker 1: real trash about this. Got no fertilizer. Things can go

962
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:48,480
Speaker 1: to absolute sh one t next week, Like we're not

963
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:49,880
Speaker 1: looking at it in the way that we should be

964
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:52,560
Speaker 1: looking at it. And just because your grass looks greener, one,

965
00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:54,640
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean it is, but it also doesn't mean

966
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:58,520
Speaker 1: it's catastrophically terrible. And I think that there's this juxtaposition

967
00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:00,480
Speaker 1: where people say, well, if the grass is greener, you

968
00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:02,719
Speaker 1: got there and it was terrible. No, like might be

969
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:04,960
Speaker 1: the same, but like the grass is greener where you

970
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,680
Speaker 1: water it. The grass is greener where you're actually nourishing

971
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:10,359
Speaker 1: the grass and growing your own and putting your own

972
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:13,520
Speaker 1: pastures into sw Like it's really sexy to have your

973
00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:16,160
Speaker 1: own pasture. Yeah, heck mi, I might be full of clover,

974
00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:19,319
Speaker 1: but you know what, I love my clover. It's very

975
00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:22,120
Speaker 1: very good. But I think that there's just this idea

976
00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 1: that it's all or nothing. If I'm going to be

977
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:26,279
Speaker 1: a career giralie, I need to go all in with it.

978
00:46:27,719 --> 00:46:30,719
Speaker 1: You do everything, just doesn't mean you have to do

979
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:34,800
Speaker 1: all of it all at once, exactly right, slow and steady,

980
00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:37,720
Speaker 1: no rush, just get it done. Dabble in the things

981
00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:41,320
Speaker 1: that make you happy. Like obviously, comparative thinking is really negative.

982
00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:44,839
Speaker 1: Fortune telling sucks as well. So like a type of

983
00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 1: bias is where your brain believes it's able to see

984
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:51,759
Speaker 1: into the future. Literally, it's a psychological phenomenon where your

985
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:54,719
Speaker 1: brain just thinks it's able to predict the future. How

986
00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:56,960
Speaker 1: many times have I said, if I could predict the future,

987
00:46:57,000 --> 00:46:59,799
Speaker 1: I'd be real rich. Like, because you can't, you can't

988
00:46:59,840 --> 00:47:01,839
Speaker 1: do it. And the narrative that you'll hear in your head.

989
00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:05,560
Speaker 1: Beck when that comes up, is I'd be so much

990
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:08,400
Speaker 1: better off if I X y Z. I'm going to

991
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:11,400
Speaker 1: be in a better position if I ABC. I'd be

992
00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:13,399
Speaker 1: so much better off if I had what Beck had.

993
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:18,520
Speaker 1: That's fortune telling because you don't know that. It's not guaranteed.

994
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:22,239
Speaker 1: Who absolutely knows that. Nobody. So I think it's really

995
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:25,920
Speaker 1: important to kind of just talk about this narrative because

996
00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:30,160
Speaker 1: the grass is greener mindset. Honestly, it oversimplifies the alternative

997
00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:33,600
Speaker 1: as being the better alternative. I might be allergic to

998
00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:36,279
Speaker 1: your grass. I don't know. Yep, all right, V.

999
00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:38,080
Speaker 4: So what I'm taking away from this and correct me

1000
00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:40,040
Speaker 4: if I'm wrong, But I'm going to go through and

1001
00:47:40,120 --> 00:47:43,200
Speaker 4: lessies out. Okay, So first things first is be mindful

1002
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:48,480
Speaker 4: of your thinking. Stunning, challenge your thinking. Yes, absolutely, be

1003
00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:51,520
Speaker 4: grateful for what you have. Be grateful for what you

1004
00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:53,600
Speaker 4: already have, for you already have.

1005
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. I feel like that's the most important thing. Yes,

1006
00:47:56,239 --> 00:47:56,880
Speaker 1: for you already have.

1007
00:47:57,120 --> 00:47:59,719
Speaker 4: Not to say that literally, you know, a couple of

1008
00:47:59,719 --> 00:48:02,160
Speaker 4: weeks ago, I said, if someone says you should be grateful,

1009
00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:04,840
Speaker 4: then you shouldn't be grateful. But I'm saying be grateful

1010
00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:09,600
Speaker 4: for what you already have yea world. Be present as

1011
00:48:09,640 --> 00:48:13,960
Speaker 4: present as you can be, Be focused, and make changes carefully.

1012
00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:17,720
Speaker 4: So brainstorm options lists the pros and cons of possibilities,

1013
00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:20,840
Speaker 4: talk to others when you need it, act and evaluate

1014
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:24,560
Speaker 4: the change, and of course, last but only seek professional

1015
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:26,960
Speaker 4: help if you do feel like you're struggling one hundred percent.

1016
00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:29,600
Speaker 4: There are so many resources out there that can help you.

1017
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:32,279
Speaker 4: My favorite one at the moment is Beyond Blue. And

1018
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:35,319
Speaker 4: I'm saying that because I think that there's this misconception

1019
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:38,040
Speaker 4: that you you should only reach out to professionals like

1020
00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:41,840
Speaker 4: that when things are really bad, like it's catastrophic.

1021
00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:43,959
Speaker 1: Like nasis. If you want to change your mind frame,

1022
00:48:44,040 --> 00:48:47,279
Speaker 1: these are great resources to be helping you do things

1023
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:51,600
Speaker 1: like reframe, and they're usually free, so go check them out.

1024
00:48:51,640 --> 00:48:54,600
Speaker 1: But Beck, as always, it is a pleasure hanging out

1025
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:57,000
Speaker 1: with you each and every single week and getting to

1026
00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:58,759
Speaker 1: do a little deep dive into a topic that I'm

1027
00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:01,560
Speaker 1: wildly passionate about. That is all we have time for today,

1028
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:04,720
Speaker 1: So let's go and we'll see you, beautiful people on Friday.

1029
00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:07,040
Speaker 1: CSM Bye.

1030
00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:14,640
Speaker 6: The advice shared on She's on the Money is general

1031
00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:18,520
Speaker 6: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's

1032
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:22,080
Speaker 6: on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should

1033
00:49:22,080 --> 00:49:25,280
Speaker 6: not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.

1034
00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:28,080
Speaker 6: If you do choose to buy a financial product, read

1035
00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:31,440
Speaker 6: the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial.

1036
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:32,840
Speaker 1: Advice tailored towards your needs.

1037
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:37,120
Speaker 6: Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives

1038
00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:41,040
Speaker 6: of money SHERPA pty Ltd ABN three two one is

1039
00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:44,920
Speaker 6: six four nine two seven seven zero eight AFSL four

1040
00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:49,000
Speaker 6: five one two eight nine