Speaker 1: I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the
Speaker 1: land on which this episode is being recorded, the Combomb
Speaker 1: Merry people. They've been having conversations and telling stories on
Speaker 1: this land for thousands of years, and we show our
Speaker 1: gratitude and respect for their contribution to our environment and culture.
Speaker 1: This is Rise and Conquer, the podcast where we strive
Speaker 1: to become the highest version of ourselves through curious conversations,
Speaker 1: healthy mindsets, laughter, connection, and a deep desire to evolve.
Speaker 1: I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson. Join me as we explore parenthood, business, manifestation,
Speaker 1: and so much more. It's positive, it's practical, and it's
Speaker 1: about putting you in the driver's seat of your own life.
Speaker 1: Are you ready, Bella? Welcome to the Right and Conquered Podcasts. Hello,
Speaker 1: thank you for having me, Thank you so much for coming.
Speaker 1: We have hero here.
Speaker 2: I know bellas do puppy so you can hear us.
Speaker 1: See.
Speaker 2: I was just saying, like, he's so chill, and we've
Speaker 2: been in here for like fifteen minutes, like chatting off Mike,
Speaker 2: and he didn't say a word, and then the second
Speaker 2: we turned the MIC's on, he's like like wanting to
Speaker 2: run around. Poor little Bobby.
Speaker 1: Honestly, I feel like real dog people here. So it's
Speaker 1: so fine.
Speaker 2: I know, I just got him yesterday and I was like,
Speaker 2: I can't really leave him at home by himself yet,
Speaker 2: so I was like, he's just gonna come and be
Speaker 2: our third little guest. So if you hear like whimpering
Speaker 2: or his color rattling, I'm sorry, but he's really cute.
Speaker 1: We're here for it. Yeah. He's a cocker Spaniel and
Speaker 1: he just looks super dopey and chill you like long ears.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, poor little thing. They get all like
Speaker 2: caught in his water bowl and stuff. But I'm so
Speaker 2: excited to like have a dog back in my life
Speaker 2: because my other dog who I had for like ten years,
Speaker 2: passed away last year. And I am such a dog
Speaker 2: person that I was like, I'm it's.
Speaker 1: So comfortable, isn't it. It's so comforting it is. And
Speaker 1: Rosie and Bennie loving him.
Speaker 2: They haven't met him yet. It's a surprise. They meet
Speaker 2: him this afternoon. Oh my goodness, I know. So I
Speaker 2: hope they're going to be excited. I think they will be,
Speaker 2: come on, I think they will be because Rosie has
Speaker 2: been asking for a dog Rosie is my oldest daughter.
Speaker 2: I have two daughters, and she's watched four in November.
Speaker 2: Our daughters are actually born one day apart. So we
Speaker 2: did our first pregnancies together. Yes, we do you and
Speaker 2: now you've got another little bubby in your belly, I know.
Speaker 1: And then so Bennie. How old's Bennie?
Speaker 2: She's two in June?
Speaker 1: Two in June.
Speaker 2: I was taken back to that, and I remember when
Speaker 2: I told you I was pregnant again. You were like,
Speaker 2: are you insane? My face would have been like, oh,
Speaker 2: you would think about, oh my goodness, are you okay?
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, it's fine. Nice, young naive me
Speaker 2: who had like a unicorn first baby, who was so easy,
Speaker 2: was like, I can do two under two absolutely no issues.
Speaker 2: And I love it because you've got a big slice
Speaker 2: of humble pie. On that one off.
Speaker 1: Air you were telling me like how well Rosie slept.
Speaker 1: And she's such a beautiful soul.
Speaker 2: Very she's extroverted, but very like sweet, very sweet. My
Speaker 2: youngest is like very headstrong. Yes, well, it's like.
Speaker 1: Don't you see those tiktoks where it's like my firstborn
Speaker 1: my second born. So I don't think you're alone like
Speaker 1: it seems like everyone is high.
Speaker 2: She like tricked me though the first six months, and
Speaker 2: I was like, Oh, she's this sweet little angel baby,
Speaker 2: and then now she's like getting her own like toddler personality.
Speaker 2: I'm like, nah, she's insane.
Speaker 1: They do that sometimes because when they are a newborn,
Speaker 1: they just like sleep and feed and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: there's nothing to them. So that was honestly a bit
Speaker 1: of an intro already with the girls. But do you
Speaker 1: just want to tell the irn C community who you are,
Speaker 1: what you do, what you're about.
Speaker 2: Sure, So the elevator pitch, my Elevader pitch has drastically
Speaker 2: changed in the last six months. It used to be
Speaker 2: very different. Yes, but I am a single mom to
Speaker 2: two beautiful girls, like I just said before, Rosie and Benny,
Speaker 2: and I am a full time content creator. I also
Speaker 2: have a podcast. Mine is more about like, well, at
Speaker 2: the moment, it's been about finding myself after being a
Speaker 2: stay at home mum and divorcing my ex husband. But
Speaker 2: it's more about like womanhood, I guess, and like motherhood
Speaker 2: and that's what I do with most of my time.
Speaker 2: Other than I still do have my girls two days
Speaker 2: a week. At home with me as well. But yeah,
Speaker 2: I've gone through a big transition period, so I think
Speaker 2: right now my biggest question is finding the answer for
Speaker 2: my elevator pitch. Like I'm still in that stage of
Speaker 2: like who am I? Like what am I doing at
Speaker 2: the moment, which has been a fun journey to sort
Speaker 2: of do with my followers and listeners.
Speaker 1: I love that so much, And that's actually why I
Speaker 1: wanted to have you on the podcast, because this season
Speaker 1: is all about getting what you want, and I think
Speaker 1: it's so important to showcase that that doesn't always look
Speaker 1: like you know the end result, and like I think
Speaker 1: a lot of the time when you're listening to podcasts,
Speaker 1: it's the person who has like done it all and
Speaker 1: been there and it's twenty years down the line of success.
Speaker 1: And so I really wanted to get you on because
Speaker 1: you are in such a transitional season, like you said,
Speaker 1: divorcing becoming a single mom or within you know, the
Speaker 1: last six months, or while doing it on social media,
Speaker 1: which will get into that, and I think you are
Speaker 1: such the representation of the becoming in real time, which
Speaker 1: a lot of people don't talk about. And I think
Speaker 1: once you get to the I know who I am.
Speaker 2: I know the elevator.
Speaker 1: Pitch, you can sometimes forget the process, the process and
Speaker 1: the transition. So I'm so excited to have you on
Speaker 1: and to talk about that. And so many people would
Speaker 1: be in the exact same position going through a transition,
Speaker 1: going through a life challenge, and so obviously we're going
Speaker 1: to talk about that all, but let's just talk about
Speaker 1: you said like you are in the transition of getting
Speaker 1: your spark back and what that has looked like over
Speaker 1: the last couple of months.
Speaker 2: I think like a really interesting point to kind of
Speaker 2: touch on is when you're talking about like getting what
Speaker 2: you want. A really interesting experience that I've gone through
Speaker 2: is like I got everything that I thought I wanted,
Speaker 2: and then I got there and then was like, oh, actually,
Speaker 2: maybe this isn't what I wanted. And that has been
Speaker 2: like a really interesting journey now to be like, Okay,
Speaker 2: what do I actually want? Because I thought I knew
Speaker 2: and I got there, and then it didn't work out
Speaker 2: for me. It wasn't meant for me, it wasn't actually
Speaker 2: what I needed in life, and now I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 2: well let's try again, which I think a lot of
Speaker 2: people don't want to admit to like you might say
Speaker 2: for years and years and years like oh, this is
Speaker 2: where I want to go, and then like not many
Speaker 2: people when they get there and they don't like it,
Speaker 2: have the backbone to be like, actually, like this isn't
Speaker 2: for me, Like this isn't what I want. And people
Speaker 2: get really triggered as well when you say like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: I reached the goals and I did what I wanted
Speaker 2: to do, but I didn't like it or I wasn't fulfilled,
Speaker 2: or it didn't make me happy. So that's been so interesting.
Speaker 2: And I think like linking to what you were saying
Speaker 2: about the spark, that is what kind of made me realize,
Speaker 2: like maybe this isn't for me because I had no spark,
Speaker 2: Like I was doing things that I had said my
Speaker 2: entire life, like I want to be a stay at
Speaker 2: home mom, I want to be married, I want to
Speaker 2: have kids young, I want to be financially set up,
Speaker 2: like we owned multiple businesses together, my ex husband and I.
Speaker 2: I want to do all these things like I had
Speaker 2: social media, I had you know, on paper, like the
Speaker 2: dream life, and then you know, stuff doesn't always work
Speaker 2: out the way that you think, and that went away
Speaker 2: and then it was like, now without all those things
Speaker 2: that I thought I wanted, I feel more fulfilled and
Speaker 2: more vibrant and like I have so much more passion
Speaker 2: for life than when I was in this like dream
Speaker 2: life that I told myself was going to be the
Speaker 2: most fulfilling thing ever. And that has been such an
Speaker 2: interesting process to go through. And when people always ask like,
Speaker 2: how have you found that spark, the biggest thing I
Speaker 2: always say is surrendering. I feel like for so long,
Speaker 2: like sometimes the problem is when you're a super ambitious
Speaker 2: person or you like plan everything, you very type A
Speaker 2: is like you want to control like every single little
Speaker 2: bit of your life, and then that can be really
Speaker 2: taxing and really draining. And I found that I have
Speaker 2: had the ability to connect with myself and learn so
Speaker 2: much more about myself and become so much happier by
Speaker 2: letting go and just surrendering and being like, Okay, like
Speaker 2: you can't control every single asset and aspect of your life.
Speaker 2: Just go with it and surrender a little bit and
Speaker 2: kind of see where life takes you. And that has
Speaker 2: led me to be the happiest that I could be.
Speaker 2: Because if you had told me like a year ago,
Speaker 2: like hey, you're going to be divorced, You're not going
Speaker 2: to be living with your partner anymore. You're not gonna
Speaker 2: be a stay at home mum, You're only gonna have
Speaker 2: your kids fifty percent of the time. You're gonna be
Speaker 2: working full time in social media. I would have been like, no,
Speaker 2: I'm fucking not. That sounds horrendous, Like that is not
Speaker 2: what I want. That would never make me happy. I
Speaker 2: would be so miserable, blah blah blah. And then I
Speaker 2: kind of went through a journey where it's like, well,
Speaker 2: I had no choice, and now I'm on the other side,
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I actually really love my life now,
Speaker 2: Like it would never have been something I would have
Speaker 2: actively chosen for myself, but I'm so glad that it
Speaker 2: did happen to me.
Speaker 1: Well, let's even go there, because I think I resonate
Speaker 1: a lot even with how I did a six year
Speaker 1: law degree and I got at the end and I
Speaker 1: was like, holy shit, I don't want to do this.
Speaker 1: And I had that impending feeling of like, what are
Speaker 1: people gonna think. They're gonna think I'm an idiot for
Speaker 1: doing six years of law, putting all this time and
Speaker 1: energy and effort into this specific dream, this vision, and
Speaker 1: then I'm gonna quote unquote throw it away. But I
Speaker 1: was miserable. Yeah, And I was like I saw, you know,
Speaker 1: other people who had reached the career success that you know,
Speaker 1: I'm aiming to do in thirty years, and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I don't want that. Now that I'm
Speaker 1: in it, and now that I've seen it, I don't
Speaker 1: want it. And it's such an interesting thing to almost
Speaker 1: because I'd love to ask you your whole dream of
Speaker 1: like stay at home mom with this partner, that sort
Speaker 1: of ambitious stream that you were talking about, like when
Speaker 1: did that happen? When did that start?
Speaker 2: Kind Of always my mom was like full time working
Speaker 2: bread winner in my family, and while that gave me
Speaker 2: so many opportunities growing up, I always had wished like
Speaker 2: she could have been around a bit more. And so
Speaker 2: then I just got in my head like instead of
Speaker 2: finding like a happy medium, I'm the type of person
Speaker 2: that's like nothing, yeah, all nothing. So instead of being
Speaker 2: like I could be a part time working mom and
Speaker 2: like kind of best of both words, I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm going to be a stay at home mom and
Speaker 2: dedicated and I loved being a stay at home mom,
Speaker 2: Like I actually really enjoyed it, and I thought I
Speaker 2: was really good at it, and I found it really fulfilling.
Speaker 2: But I think a really beautiful thing that I've learned
Speaker 2: in the last six months is like things are not
Speaker 2: so all or nothing or not so black and white,
Speaker 2: and also like there's not just one version of your
Speaker 2: life that that's the only life that could make you happy.
Speaker 2: And I think I really held on to the idea
Speaker 2: of like, well, no, I have to do this version.
Speaker 2: And then I've sort of learned like you can take
Speaker 2: so many different paths and still end up like a
Speaker 2: really happy, fulfilled version of yourself. And like almost in
Speaker 2: a really weird way to say this, because I've had
Speaker 2: so many like crazy things happened to me, but like
Speaker 2: I've just gotten in a mindset now of like it's
Speaker 2: not that deep, Like it's just not that deep, Like
Speaker 2: it's just not that like all or nothing like and
Speaker 2: that sounds insane and people might be like, I don't
Speaker 2: understand what you mean by that, but it's like I
Speaker 2: think when you go through like extreme adversity, and if
Speaker 2: like a listener has like followed me, they would really
Speaker 2: know like the whole law of the last six months,
Speaker 2: you really start to realize like you can get through anything,
Speaker 2: and you can do anything, and like nothing so big
Speaker 2: that you can't bounce back from it, you can't like
Speaker 2: recover from it. I don't know, it's really hard to describe,
Speaker 2: but it's like I've gotten to a point where I'm like, oh, well,
Speaker 2: it'll work out, Like it has worked out. I've made
Speaker 2: it through all of this so far, and I've ended
Speaker 2: up in a really happy place. So like, whatever, it's
Speaker 2: not that deep, there's something else out there. If that's
Speaker 2: not gonna like fill me up, or if that's not
Speaker 2: meant for me, there's obviously something else. And like I think,
Speaker 2: in a weird way, like God, universe, whatever you believe
Speaker 2: in sort of like forced me to be like okay,
Speaker 2: like you are not listening to us, like we are
Speaker 2: sending it all these signs like this is not the
Speaker 2: path for you. This is not the path for you.
Speaker 2: We're gonna have to freaking skull drag you now onto
Speaker 2: a different path until you get the thing of like
Speaker 2: you can't control everything. You can't you know, push your
Speaker 2: version of what you want everything to be. You'll end
Speaker 2: up where you meant to be no matter what, and
Speaker 2: it you know, I feel like I always think of
Speaker 2: the thing of the universe might like at first give
Speaker 2: be like a little push and be like, hey, like
Speaker 2: I don't think this is for you, maybe you should change.
Speaker 2: And then you can be a really stubborn person and
Speaker 2: be like no, like this is for me. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: keep like going on this path. And then it can
Speaker 2: give you like a little bit of a harder push
Speaker 2: and it's like this isn't meant for you, Like you
Speaker 2: need to change your course. You need to like course correct,
Speaker 2: and then it gets to a point where it's like, okay,
Speaker 2: we're just going to force you now because like this
Speaker 2: is not meant for you. You can go through like
Speaker 2: an absolute soul altering experience to learn this lesson because
Speaker 2: you're clearly not listening to our like little nudges of
Speaker 2: being like you shouldn't be doing this, you shouldn't be
Speaker 2: doing this, And like, in hindsight, there is so much
Speaker 2: now where I'm like, maybe that was a sign, like
Speaker 2: that wasn't what I was meant to be, like choosing
Speaker 2: for myself or doing or whatever. But then another part
Speaker 2: of me is like I feel like everything's meant to
Speaker 2: sort of happen for a reason.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was about to ask you, did you get
Speaker 1: those nudges? Did you get those small signs or was
Speaker 1: it a truck came and hear you.
Speaker 2: At the time, I was like, it's a truck come
Speaker 2: and hit me and I've had no signs. And I
Speaker 2: feel like that's very normal when you go through like
Speaker 2: a big event. It's very normal to be like, oh,
Speaker 2: I didn't know anything, and like this is so.
Speaker 1: And it was happened to me.
Speaker 2: It was a very like drastic change, and it was
Speaker 2: very unexpected for me and everyone around me online, in
Speaker 2: my personal life, like everyone was kind of shocked when
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I've left my husband and like
Speaker 2: my life has done like a full one pint eighty.
Speaker 2: Everyone was like, oh my god, what is going on?
Speaker 2: But now looking back, I'm like there are so many
Speaker 2: things where I'm like, wow, I really had my blinkers
Speaker 2: on and was just no, I'm doing this. This is
Speaker 2: the life I want, this is what I'm doing, And
Speaker 2: like that sort of thing where you're saying before, well,
Speaker 2: I've sacrificed so much and like I've done this, Like
Speaker 2: if I give up now, or if I turn back now,
Speaker 2: that was all for nothing. And like, I feel like
Speaker 2: that is a very common thing that you can sort
Speaker 2: of get stuck in, and not just in relationships like
Speaker 2: in Korea, in friendships, in so many different things. You
Speaker 2: can be like I did so much to get here.
Speaker 2: If I just like turn around now and be like, oh,
Speaker 2: I don't want to do this anymore, it's like, well,
Speaker 2: was that all wasted time? But I think I've really
Speaker 2: learned now to like appreciate the journey rather than just
Speaker 2: like the result at the end, and also really learning
Speaker 2: that there's no point having all the things you want
Speaker 2: if you unhappy, Like we were saying this before, like
Speaker 2: I was saying, off Mike, I would rather be struggling
Speaker 2: and happy than have everything I want and be depressed.
Speaker 2: And like that's a really interesting thing to learn because
Speaker 2: I think in today's day and age, we're like told
Speaker 2: all these external things are really going to make you
Speaker 2: happy and make your life feel amazing and whatever, but
Speaker 2: if you don't feel it inside, it like really doesn't.
Speaker 1: Really a society really, we're honestly brainwashed. Society tells us
Speaker 1: when we're younger, through like you know, the media, through
Speaker 1: our parents through what we're taught in school. It's like
Speaker 1: there's this checklist and these are you know, either material
Speaker 1: things or like status things or relationship things.
Speaker 2: Check this off, and.
Speaker 1: Then you're successful. You have made it, like this is
Speaker 1: what you need to do in life. And I feel
Speaker 1: like that's the journey of like going through those things.
Speaker 1: Like I can resonate in regards to I remember it
Speaker 1: was probably before IVY or maybe like when I became
Speaker 1: an I think it. No, it was just when I
Speaker 1: became a new mum. And so for example, like you know,
Speaker 1: I became a self made millionaire by age twenty six,
Speaker 1: I did this by age twenty seven. I had my daughter.
Speaker 1: I wanted to be a new mom, I wanted to
Speaker 1: work both. And I remember getting to that point and
Speaker 1: having this like break down and being like, bit, I've
Speaker 1: ticked all the boxes and I feel fucking miserable inside.
Speaker 1: And then I went on this whole healing journey, which
Speaker 1: is a whole other story. And it's crazy because I
Speaker 1: have all the same things, but the healing journey was
Speaker 1: all about accepting myself, working through childhood trauma, working through
Speaker 1: healing so you know, certain parts of myself and now
Speaker 1: I am so much more content and happier, and my
Speaker 1: external hasn't changed. If anything, It's like I have put
Speaker 1: on the breaks of career driven. I have put on
Speaker 1: the breaks of certain things because I'm like that shit
Speaker 1: doesn't actually matter, and often it takes to getting to
Speaker 1: that pinnacle that like ticking all the things. And then
Speaker 1: the way I would describe it is I felt quite empty,
Speaker 1: Like I felt quite but I'm doing all the things,
Speaker 1: but I don't have the feeling that everyone's talking about.
Speaker 1: And then I went on a whole healing journey and
Speaker 1: then like now I have the feeling, and I just
Speaker 1: see things in such a different way where even choices
Speaker 1: I make, you know, with my finances, with certain things,
Speaker 1: like we just move house from this beautiful like ocean
Speaker 1: view house and we've moved like to acreage, and so
Speaker 1: many people like, oh, but I'm confused, that was your
Speaker 1: dream house blah blah blah, And I'm like, yeah, but
Speaker 1: now I've have a different perception and it's all about
Speaker 1: how I feel. So if it doesn't make sense to you,
Speaker 1: that's okay, because you have your own perceptions, you have
Speaker 1: your own.
Speaker 2: Thing, and I don't have to explain myself Also, one
Speaker 2: thing I've really learned is like truly coming to accept
Speaker 2: in the least malicious way, no one cares about what
Speaker 2: you're doing in your life. I know that sounds wild,
Speaker 2: but I feel like when you're stuck in a period
Speaker 2: and you think like, oh, I can't do this because
Speaker 2: you know this person's gonna judge me, this person's gonna
Speaker 2: judge me, whatever. And then as someone who's gone through
Speaker 2: stuff that, I was like, oh, I'm gonna get eaten alive, Like,
Speaker 2: especially on social media where there's like hundreds of thousands
Speaker 2: of people or whatever, you really realize like people don't
Speaker 2: care that much like they do. And maybe at first
Speaker 2: you've got to have like a couple of awkward conversations
Speaker 2: with people or go through like a little bit of adversity,
Speaker 2: but people adapt to your new reality very quickly because
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, they have their own
Speaker 2: life that they're worrying about and stressing about, and they
Speaker 2: don't have the time to think about you as much
Speaker 2: as you are thinking about you. And I wish, honestly,
Speaker 2: I had realized that like five six years ago, because
Speaker 2: I spent so long in my life being like I
Speaker 2: can't do this because of this person's judgment or whatever.
Speaker 2: And then after going through what I would have described
Speaker 2: a year go as my literal worst nightmare, and then
Speaker 2: like surviving the other side and then being like, you
Speaker 2: know what, that was really hard, but it wasn't what
Speaker 2: I thought it was gonna be. And then I'm like, shit,
Speaker 2: how much stuff have I said? No, I'm not going
Speaker 2: to do that. I'm not going to change because I
Speaker 2: was so concerned about someone being like that's you know,
Speaker 2: you can't do that or whatever. At the end of
Speaker 2: the day, people, most people, I would say ninety five
Speaker 2: percent of people are like, oh, well, if it makes
Speaker 2: you happy, like cool, Like you know, even people knew
Speaker 2: me personally at first we're a bit like oh, and
Speaker 2: then now they're like yeah, cool, like whatever, like if
Speaker 2: that makes you happy.
Speaker 1: Yes, well, you know, even let's take that one step further.
Speaker 1: So the people who do care, and let's we will
Speaker 1: chat about like your social media and the feedback that
Speaker 1: you got because honestly, wild girl.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But even so, the people that care from like a
Speaker 1: mindset like shadow work also lens. Yeah, the only reason
Speaker 1: why they would care is you were reflecting something to
Speaker 1: them that they don't like. Within themselves. Yes, and once
Speaker 1: you realize that, and once you realize okay, so there
Speaker 1: are people who care, but it's about them, not you,
Speaker 1: Like it's not about you exactly, it's actually not about you.
Speaker 2: Really learning that like even that negative thought, that's their
Speaker 2: own story and like having to come to the realization
Speaker 2: of like, that's cool. They can think that about me,
Speaker 2: but they don't have to wake up as me every
Speaker 2: day and they don't have to live as me every day.
Speaker 2: So like let them think that, Like let them think
Speaker 2: that that's cool for them, okay, And what does that
Speaker 2: mean for me? Like I think really not giving power
Speaker 2: to thoughts and being like it's literally just a thought
Speaker 2: of someone else. It's not even my own thought about myself.
Speaker 2: So why am I giving it so much power over me?
Speaker 2: Because at the end of the day, it doesn't really
Speaker 2: affect me or even like you.
Speaker 1: Said, it's like that five percent who are judgmental who care,
Speaker 1: and it's like, well, we're not giving our attention to
Speaker 1: the you know, ninety five percent. Why are we giving
Speaker 1: so much attention to the five percent?
Speaker 2: I always say this to people when I have this conversation,
Speaker 2: and I think it's because negative thoughts are the loudest, right,
Speaker 2: So something that's five percent, because negativity is such a
Speaker 2: emotive thing and it is such a strong emotion. It
Speaker 2: sounds thirty thousand times louder than positivity. Right, So even
Speaker 2: though you have ninety five percent of people who are
Speaker 2: positive cheering you on whatever, the five percent feels like
Speaker 2: one hundred percent. So then you put so much time
Speaker 2: and effort into it. And I actually listened to an
Speaker 2: interview with Tom Holland which was a really weird place
Speaker 2: to get like inspirations vitament Biamendu, and he said that
Speaker 2: like the way that he deals with any type of
Speaker 2: critique is just realizing that what anyone else thinks about
Speaker 2: you that does not know you is not true. And
Speaker 2: he was like, positive, it's not true. I don't give
Speaker 2: it any value because they don't know me and they
Speaker 2: aren't me, so they can sit there and be like
Speaker 2: you're the best ever, and like I think you're so amazing.
Speaker 2: He was like, I give that the same value as
Speaker 2: someone who says something negative. And when I realized that,
Speaker 2: it changed my perception on how people perceive me, and
Speaker 2: I have now really leant into that of like the
Speaker 2: value of a positive word is the same value as
Speaker 2: a negative word. It's what I put the value on it,
Speaker 2: not what the other person is thinking. And that has
Speaker 2: been really interesting. And I think a really really big
Speaker 2: thing to learn is also that pleasing everyone else doesn't
Speaker 2: mean that you're going to be pleased, yes, which was
Speaker 2: a really hard thing to learn. So I got diagnosed
Speaker 2: with ADHD at the end of last year and then
Speaker 2: I'm currently going through my ASD diagnosis. I've had like
Speaker 2: a clinical psychologist diagnose me, and then I'm going through
Speaker 2: the process of life. Sorry, what is ASD stortism? Oh? Yes, yes,
Speaker 2: with your autism spectrum disorder. Yeah. And the biggest thing
Speaker 2: learning was that people pleasing is like a really big
Speaker 2: thing of people who have neurodivergence because it's a really
Speaker 2: big masking thing. You try and please people to fit in.
Speaker 2: It becomes like a survival instinct because you're like, I'm
Speaker 2: a bit different, I don't really fit in with everyone else.
Speaker 2: So if I do everything that everyone wants and make
Speaker 2: them really happy, they're going to like me. So it
Speaker 2: becomes a very big thing that you do. And I
Speaker 2: never understood why I found people pleasing so important and
Speaker 2: like it literally dedicated my entire life to just not
Speaker 2: looking introspectively at anything that would make me happy and
Speaker 2: putting one hundred percent of my time and energy into
Speaker 2: what is going to make the people around me happy.
Speaker 2: And maybe if that happens, I will be accepted and
Speaker 2: then I will be.
Speaker 1: Happy and fit in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then so much sin that has been like
Speaker 2: unlearning that or realizing like even if I do every
Speaker 2: little thing to make everyone happy, if I'm not happy,
Speaker 2: it doesn't matter. And once I realized that, it really changed,
Speaker 2: like everything, and like I honestly think a lot of
Speaker 2: that came from like once I hit rock bottom and
Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, all the horrible things, like the
Speaker 2: worst things I thought that could have happened to me
Speaker 2: have happened to me. Like I got postpartum depression. My dog,
Speaker 2: who was like my best friend from ten years like
Speaker 2: died really suddenly and tragically. My marriage broke down. I
Speaker 2: had four hundred dollars to my name, and I moved
Speaker 2: out of my home. I was a single mom to
Speaker 2: two kids, which was my biggest worst nightmare because I
Speaker 2: grew up with divorced parents and I hated it. I
Speaker 2: was like, had no job, prospects other than my social media.
Speaker 2: Like I'd been a stay at home mum for four years,
Speaker 2: so I had no current references, no current work experience.
Speaker 2: I didn't have anyone that I could be like, hey,
Speaker 2: can I have a job with you? So I was like, crap,
Speaker 2: I've got to start like generating actual, serious, full time
Speaker 2: money out of this social media or I'm quite frankly
Speaker 2: stuffed because I don't have any income. Like I had
Speaker 2: all these things where I was like, well, like I'm here,
Speaker 2: I'm at the bottom. I was like, I've disappointed everyone.
Speaker 2: In my head, I hadn't disappointed anyone, but in my
Speaker 2: people pleasing brain, I was like, I've let everyone down.
Speaker 2: Why not try doing it my way? Then? Because I
Speaker 2: did everything for everyone and it didn't turn out the
Speaker 2: way that I wanted. So let's try this again, but
Speaker 2: do what you want to do. And it is such
Speaker 2: a like liberating experience to kind of go through and like,
Speaker 2: while I wouldn't wish what I went through on the
Speaker 2: worst on my worst enemy, it was also like wow,
Speaker 2: I needed all of that to kind of like fall
Speaker 2: away for me to realize, hey, like you can do
Speaker 2: whatever you want. Because at the end of the day,
Speaker 2: like you pleased all those people and you're the one
Speaker 2: that suffered for it. Yeah, why not? You know, if
Speaker 2: stuff can change in an instant, why not do what
Speaker 2: you want to do, wouldn't you say?
Speaker 1: When you start living life on your own terms, it's.
Speaker 2: Liberating, so liberating and like so freeing when you also
Speaker 2: this is gonna sound really woo woo. Okay, so before babe,
Speaker 2: I know, yeah, this is what I like. Georgie and
Speaker 2: I doing podcast swaps, so like she's gonna come into
Speaker 2: my podcast next, and this is like something that I
Speaker 2: wanted to touch on in my podcast. But like before
Speaker 2: this whole experience of my life, I was not really
Speaker 2: that woo. I was religious. I've always grown up. Really,
Speaker 2: I still believe in like Jesus. I still go to
Speaker 2: church or whatever, but I'd never done any type of
Speaker 2: like alternative spirituality. I got really bad postpartum depression with
Speaker 2: my youngest after I had her, and I saw this
Speaker 2: advertisement of this like Mother's Retreat, which was with another
Speaker 2: influencer in Sydney and her like spiritual life coach, right,
Speaker 2: and it was like at this beautiful lake and it
Speaker 2: was like come be with other women for three days
Speaker 2: and like we're going to do like all this like
Speaker 2: emotional soul work. And honestly, I was so depressed and
Speaker 2: so desperate, like I had like psychiatrists being like, we're
Speaker 2: going to have to admit you into like a maternal
Speaker 2: mental health ward, like you're very, very depressed, like you've
Speaker 2: got severe postpartum depression. And I was like I don't
Speaker 2: want to like do that. I can't take my daughters.
Speaker 2: I could only take my youngest with me, so my
Speaker 2: toddler would have had not had me for like six weeks.
Speaker 2: And I was like I was a stay at home mum,
Speaker 2: Like being a mum was my whole identity. So for
Speaker 2: me to be admitted into a ward was like that
Speaker 2: was the ultimate failure for me. So I was just
Speaker 2: like I can't, I'm not doing that, which in hindsight,
Speaker 2: I'm like, maybe I should have just on it, but
Speaker 2: I had all these stories in my head telling me
Speaker 2: like you can't do that, you can't admit that you
Speaker 2: need that help. Whatever. I saw this ad for this
Speaker 2: retreat and I was like, well, what have I got
Speaker 2: to lose, because like at this point, like I'll try
Speaker 2: anything because I'm like I'm going to a psychiatrists. I'm
Speaker 2: going to a psychologist, I'm going doing all these like things.
Speaker 2: I'm medicated, I'm this that the other. Let's try this.
Speaker 2: I haven't tried this yet, Like let's give it a go.
Speaker 2: So I booked the retreat on the spot and it
Speaker 2: was happening like three or four weeks later, and I
Speaker 2: was like, yep, no worries. Anyway, I went to this retreat,
Speaker 2: got there and I was like, ooh, this is very wooo.
Speaker 2: Like I was kind of sitting in the first like
Speaker 2: like imagining a woman's circle, being like, oh, okay, we're
Speaker 2: doing this, like this is really weird, like you know,
Speaker 2: like Kelly, who's now like my life coach. But she
Speaker 2: was like, you know, testing everyone's areas and like all
Speaker 2: this stuff, and I was like, whoa, what is going on? Anyway,
Speaker 2: it was like the most incredible retreat, like totally transformed me.
Speaker 2: The most beautiful group of women that was like eighteen
Speaker 2: of us was the most beautiful group of women. I
Speaker 2: had like the best time. And then I was like
Speaker 2: talking to Kelly and then she was like, you know,
Speaker 2: like if you ever want to like keep doing work
Speaker 2: like this, like I do have like some spots available,
Speaker 2: and she told me like the price to work with her,
Speaker 2: and my eyeballs nearly fell out my head and I
Speaker 2: was like, excuse me, Like that is so expensive. And
Speaker 2: then I was like I don't know what I want
Speaker 2: to do because I have this feeling like I want
Speaker 2: to go do this, but then I'm also like that's
Speaker 2: a lot of money and I could be getting scammed
Speaker 2: right now, like this chick could like take this like
Speaker 2: lump sum of money for me and I like do nothing.
Speaker 2: And again I was just in such I didn't have
Speaker 2: the money like that like money, because I was like
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't feel like I could take this
Speaker 2: from a joint account like from my marriage. So I
Speaker 2: was like, this is going to be like my savings
Speaker 2: that I'm going to like put into this. I'm a
Speaker 2: said her mum. I wasn't making that much money. So
Speaker 2: it was like any money that I did have in
Speaker 2: my own account was like very very precious to me. Yes, yes,
Speaker 2: because that was my money to spend on whatever I wanted,
Speaker 2: no questions asked. And I was like, if I like
Speaker 2: pay this sum, like that's it, Like that's all my
Speaker 2: savings gone, Like what if this just blows up in
Speaker 2: my face and I, you know, pee away all that
Speaker 2: money that I had spent so long saving art. But
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm so desperate, like let's give it
Speaker 2: a go. And after doing that work, which is really
Speaker 2: just mindset work and a lot of like emotional processing work,
Speaker 2: it made me realize how so much power comes from
Speaker 2: within and not from the external circumstances around you, which
Speaker 2: is so cool to learn but also deeply frustrating because
Speaker 2: you're like I had the power the whole time, and
Speaker 2: I was like victiming it and blaming it on everything
Speaker 2: around me, when it was like, this is coming down
Speaker 2: to the way I think, like even simple things I
Speaker 2: learned of the idea of like just ask, Like what
Speaker 2: do you mean just ask? Like, oh, just ask for
Speaker 2: like ask that person if you want something, just ask
Speaker 2: for it. I'm like, no, you can't do that or
Speaker 2: ask the universe. Yeah, like just ask And I was
Speaker 2: like that's like bullshit or whatever. And then now I've
Speaker 2: like gone like I wouldn't say I'm full woo wo,
Speaker 2: but I'm like, have put like learnt so much of
Speaker 2: the power of like how the way you think about
Speaker 2: your life and the way you think about yourself can
Speaker 2: change so much around you, which is a really cool
Speaker 2: like journey to sort of go on.
Speaker 1: And don't you think it's interesting that we often have
Speaker 1: to get to rock bottom to then be like, ah,
Speaker 1: I was, I was the power all that I was,
Speaker 1: you know, like I was the key all the time,
Speaker 1: and I had to like go through all this shit.
Speaker 1: But also, like, something I think about is if we
Speaker 1: were born and like you know, he entered school and
Speaker 1: for example, you knew, oh, I was power, I've got everything,
Speaker 1: you wouldn't go through anything. You wouldn't have any challenges,
Speaker 1: you wouldn't become the person you are. Like, if you
Speaker 1: think about it, in the last six months, the amount
Speaker 1: of transformation in your emotional intelligence, in your ego, in
Speaker 1: the challenges no sorry, the lessons.
Speaker 2: You will teach your daughters like the It's like, honestly, you've.
Speaker 1: Gone through ten years of self development in six months,
Speaker 1: and it sucks that you had to go through a challenge.
Speaker 1: But also, like you said, it's kind of it had
Speaker 1: to happen that way for whatever reason, your soul has
Speaker 1: picked up. That's what I believe. I've got your souls.
Speaker 2: I'm not religious, I think as well as just a
Speaker 2: stubborn bitch and was like, I'm not learning this lesson.
Speaker 2: I refuse to go through this hardship. I'm gonna push push,
Speaker 2: push push, And I think like, if it's destined for you,
Speaker 2: it's destined for you. And it was like that was
Speaker 2: the only way that I could get where I needed
Speaker 2: to be, and it Yeah, I just was like, honestly,
Speaker 2: I do say that to people when they're like, oh,
Speaker 2: you know, you seem like you've moved so quickly and
Speaker 2: blah blah blah. I'm like, I think because I've had
Speaker 2: such intense I've done such intense work on myself, Like
Speaker 2: I've done more work in the last twelve months on myself.
Speaker 2: So six months before I separated and then the six
Speaker 2: months after that, I think then people have done will
Speaker 2: do in ten years.
Speaker 1: I'm also going to put it out there, I because
Speaker 1: I didn't know you had done that work, which is
Speaker 1: first of all incredible, and I'm gonna put it out there.
Speaker 1: But do you think it's a coincidence no, that you
Speaker 1: started doing spiritual soul work six months and then your
Speaker 1: marriage brokeer? No way, Like I always say this to Kelly,
Speaker 1: who I did the work with no Joe, I've just
Speaker 1: got full body shivering.
Speaker 2: Three weeks before my marriage ended, I had just finished
Speaker 2: a finance course with her, right, so I never managed
Speaker 2: any of the finances in my marriage. I'd just done
Speaker 2: a finance course with her whatever, and then three weeks later,
Speaker 2: I like left, my husband, had to become financially independent,
Speaker 2: had to do all this stuff. And like her and
Speaker 2: I were talking and she's like, there's no way it's
Speaker 2: a coincidence. You just did like deep finance mindset work
Speaker 2: and got given all the skills you needed to then
Speaker 2: go and do this massive finance change in your life.
Speaker 2: And to put it in perspective, I did not know
Speaker 2: my marriage was ending. There were no signs. I wasn't
Speaker 2: expecting it. I wasn't like her out of the blue. Yeah,
Speaker 2: came really out of the blue. So like I think
Speaker 2: of that all the time, Like I'm like, there's no
Speaker 2: way that was a coincidence. Like, and I did like
Speaker 2: deep like chakra work and we like unclogged all this stuff,
Speaker 2: And I was just like, this is wild. But I
Speaker 2: know because listen, like this girl's crazy. But I cannot
Speaker 2: stress that you're on the right podect. Before this period,
Speaker 2: I did not believe in any of that, like honestly,
Speaker 2: even with you. Sometimes I would see your post about manifestation,
Speaker 2: I roll my eyes and be like yeah, yeah, whatever.
Speaker 2: And then I started doing it and seeing like the
Speaker 2: results of like a mindset switch and like letting go
Speaker 2: of like external power and being like I actually have
Speaker 2: the power to do everything I want in my life.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, I Georgian an apology,
Speaker 2: like she's actually onto something, this chick.
Speaker 1: Honestly, I take no offense because I know that's how
Speaker 1: a lot of people feel. And it's because and I'm
Speaker 1: like careful when I say this. But what I call
Speaker 1: it is, before you started doing that in a work,
Speaker 1: I call it you were in the matrix, like you
Speaker 1: were so in the three D the matrix where again
Speaker 1: it's like the society of like A plus B equalcy.
Speaker 1: You know this, this is the.
Speaker 2: Your shadow self, that's like thing there being like yeah.
Speaker 1: And like you got the herm oil underneath. And then
Speaker 1: so as soon as you step into this work, it
Speaker 1: all has to come to the surface. It all has
Speaker 1: to play out. It cannot like you cannot get out
Speaker 1: of the matrix and understand the world and understand truly
Speaker 1: what's happening in a spiritual sense, and then life be
Speaker 1: the same, like it wouldn't. It just doesn't happen. And
Speaker 1: it's funny because I remember when I before I did
Speaker 1: spiritual healing work that i'm telling you about before the
Speaker 1: guy I did it with, he said, I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: very frank with you, and after you do this work,
Speaker 1: there is a lot of divorces, There is a lot
Speaker 1: of career change. There is a lot of change that
Speaker 1: will happen in your reality, and I need to know
Speaker 1: if you will be able to deal with that, because
Speaker 1: once we start, we can't go back, and you have
Speaker 1: to finish this, you know, container with me, because otherwise
Speaker 1: it's really bad and you'll be stuck in like the
Speaker 1: middle and I'm the void in the void. And so
Speaker 1: he said, you like, there's a lot of relationship breakdowns.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of blah blah blah in his clients
Speaker 1: that he has, like you know, been through, and he's like,
Speaker 1: I need you to realize that this is an actual thing.
Speaker 2: And it's funny because at the time I.
Speaker 1: Was like, yeah, yeah, And then I went through it
Speaker 1: and me and Tim actually went through a lot of
Speaker 1: marital sort of you know, things we had to deal
Speaker 1: with that were super uncomfortable and very uncertain. There was
Speaker 1: actually points in my marriag where I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't know if we'll be together. Yeah, And so now
Speaker 1: we have come out the other end, and you know,
Speaker 1: we obviously are having a second baby, and I have
Speaker 1: decided that, you know, future together. But I just love
Speaker 1: that you brought that up because I think once you
Speaker 1: start opening up to truly again not just being in
Speaker 1: a life that society has set for you, and you
Speaker 1: start looking inwards and you start getting curious, your reality
Speaker 1: has to reflect that.
Speaker 2: Well, it kind of goes off what I was saying
Speaker 2: before of like when I had paid all that money
Speaker 2: and I'd been like, Okay, I'm gonna do this work
Speaker 2: now really came down to surrendering and just being like, well,
Speaker 2: if you're gonna like I got to a point where
Speaker 2: I was like, I've paid this lump sum. If I'm
Speaker 2: gonna pay this lump sum and it's everything that is
Speaker 2: my own that I've saved or whatever, I might as
Speaker 2: well give it everything i've got, like and say that
Speaker 2: I did my all to like embrace it. And also
Speaker 2: I just had to tell myself, it's gonna be uncomfortable,
Speaker 2: you're gonna be scared, you're not gonna like doing it.
Speaker 2: Probably like the first few sessions, I was like, this
Speaker 2: is fucking weird like stuff that I'm doing here, and
Speaker 2: you know, she's getting me to be like like breathe
Speaker 2: out like negative emotions, like really weird, kooky stuff. And
Speaker 2: I was like, just surrender, Just do it, Just give
Speaker 2: it everything you can. Stop trying to fight it. If
Speaker 2: you feel, like I told myself in every session, don't
Speaker 2: overthink the answers to questions she's asking. As soon as
Speaker 2: it pops in your head, just let it out and
Speaker 2: don't think, oh, that was a silly answer or whatever.
Speaker 2: I was like, just truly surrender, and it was the
Speaker 2: biggest learning to then be like, Okay, you can do
Speaker 2: that in that sense, you can do that in every sense.
Speaker 2: Just surrender and speak what speak your mind, or like,
Speaker 2: let that thing happen to you. If it's gonna happen,
Speaker 2: there's nothing you can do to change it. Just let
Speaker 2: it happen and go with it. Because you are wasting
Speaker 2: so much time and so much energy resisting, resisting, resisting
Speaker 2: because you're afraid or you're embarrassed or you know, you're
Speaker 2: trying to prevent something from happening. And it was just
Speaker 2: like such a learning of like just do it, just
Speaker 2: let it happen and go with the flow, because you
Speaker 2: are giving it more power by giving it all that
Speaker 2: energy and doing all that stress and putting all that
Speaker 2: emotion like I don't want this, I don't want this,
Speaker 2: I don't want this. Then sometimes just surrendering and letting
Speaker 2: it happen. And that doesn't mean I'm sitting here being
Speaker 2: like oh, you know, because sometimes when you go through
Speaker 2: a really shit thing and someone's like, oh that was
Speaker 2: you know, that was God's plan for you, or like
Speaker 2: that was meant to happen. Yeah, sometimes you can sit
Speaker 2: there and be like, no, actually, fuck you. That was
Speaker 2: really hard and I didn't deserve that and that was
Speaker 2: shitty and that made me feel crap, and you know
Speaker 2: I could have gone without that, and you know what,
Speaker 2: maybe I didn't want to learn that lesson, Like I
Speaker 2: think that's really valid, and I still have moments like
Speaker 2: when people try and be like, oh, you know, like
Speaker 2: that was so meant for you, I'm like yes, but
Speaker 2: also no, like no one's meant to go through like
Speaker 2: extreme suffering like that, or like you know, like as
Speaker 2: well as people who lose like a loved one or
Speaker 2: something like that, Like don't ever sit there and tell
Speaker 2: them like, this is what's meant for you. But also
Speaker 2: it's like, Okay, it's happening to you. Whether it was
Speaker 2: meant to happen to you or not, it is, so
Speaker 2: surrender to it and see what you can learn from it,
Speaker 2: because the other option is you stay angry, you stay jaded,
Speaker 2: you stay bitter, and the result is still the same.
Speaker 2: That thing still happens to you either way. And once
Speaker 2: I kind of switched to that mindset, I learned so
Speaker 2: much and grew so much.
Speaker 1: Wow, Like I didn't even know that you went through that.
Speaker 1: That is so incredible. I'm so proud of you. I
Speaker 1: love this so much, and I want to kind of
Speaker 1: bring it back to you on the rebuilding journey because,
Speaker 1: like you said, I think you've hit the nail on
Speaker 1: the head where that really is everyone's I think that's
Speaker 1: like most women's worst fear, you know, divorce, single mom.
Speaker 1: Can you talk to us about the rebuilding Obviously you've
Speaker 1: spoken on like the deeper healing work, the surrendering. What
Speaker 1: sort of other is the more like tangible things that
Speaker 1: you can kind of give advice to someone who is
Speaker 1: maybe going through something similar or just like a really
Speaker 1: really hard challenge right now that has helped you. Because
Speaker 1: I'm even looking in and obviously this is only my projection,
Speaker 1: I'm not living the experience, but I feel like you
Speaker 1: have processed this quite fast, and like I even see
Speaker 1: you like you're thriving, like you look amazing, Like I
Speaker 1: can see in your appearance like that you're doing really well.
Speaker 1: And even the words you're saying, like I'm like, holy shit,
Speaker 1: she's really fucking processing is fast in a six month period.
Speaker 1: And then but again, I truly believe someone will only
Speaker 1: process fast when they're leaning completely in. So such a
Speaker 1: testament to you. Yeah, but like the tangible things that
Speaker 1: have helped you rebuild get your spark back, What would
Speaker 1: you say to someone going through it?
Speaker 2: I would say, first up, stop get rid of any
Speaker 2: five year plan, ten year plan, out of the in
Speaker 2: that been that right now, especially like obviously not forever,
Speaker 2: but while you're going through like a huge period of
Speaker 2: change and turmoil, get rid of that out of your brain,
Speaker 2: because it's not gonna be helpful it's gonna put so
Speaker 2: much external pressure on yourself. It's gonna really fuck with
Speaker 2: your internal dialogue because you're thinking, I have to be
Speaker 2: here in you know, five years, but all this stuff
Speaker 2: is happening. I got rid of everything and I literally
Speaker 2: broke it down to today, what do I have to
Speaker 2: do today? Like, genuinely, I would not even be like
Speaker 2: people because at first, when my husband and I separated,
Speaker 2: We're like, we're taking six months, and then people would
Speaker 2: be like, well, what's gonna happen at the end of
Speaker 2: the six months, And I'm like, I don't know. I'm
Speaker 2: not there yet. I'm doing today, and when I get
Speaker 2: to the end of the six months, I can make
Speaker 2: that decision. But I'm like, there's no point because six
Speaker 2: months ago, I didn't even know this was a reality
Speaker 2: that could have happened to me. So why am I
Speaker 2: going to waste so much time and energy going there
Speaker 2: not saying that like I don't have goals or dreams
Speaker 2: for my life, but right now I'm doing it. Okay,
Speaker 2: there's no pressure. Yes, I'm like, let's just get through
Speaker 2: this period and then we can go back to that,
Speaker 2: which is honestly the most Like even some days there
Speaker 2: would be days where I would be like, let's do
Speaker 2: hour by hour, like because I'm a very anxious person
Speaker 2: that I can try and pre plan and like future project,
Speaker 2: and yeah, I had to learn like you need to
Speaker 2: stop that right now because you don't have the energy
Speaker 2: for that right now. Let that go. Don't stop trying
Speaker 2: to do that and stop trying to control that. Just
Speaker 2: break it down to really edible, bite sized sort of pieces.
Speaker 2: The next thing that I really had to learn was like,
Speaker 2: stop trying to push the negative emotions down, which is
Speaker 2: something I'm really, really, really good at. Like I said,
Speaker 2: I'm no I'm getting diagnosed with autism. And the thing
Speaker 2: that flagged with my clinical psychologists for her to even
Speaker 2: test me for it was like, you're really bad at
Speaker 2: processing any emotion that's not just like happiness or She's like,
Speaker 2: you have an emotional spectrum of happy, sad, angry, and
Speaker 2: like nothing in between. She's like, you really suck at
Speaker 2: dealing with like gray emotions like melancholy or like nostalgia,
Speaker 2: or like emotions that it's like it's not really one thing,
Speaker 2: or that it's like kind of a blend of multi emotions.
Speaker 1: Like you almost can't hold duality.
Speaker 2: Yes, Like I would just be like, oh, that thing
Speaker 2: that happened to me that was sad, and then she's like, well,
Speaker 2: but it could have like elements of happiness or elements
Speaker 2: of anger, or elements of grief, and I just could
Speaker 2: not process the emotions. Like I was very black and white,
Speaker 2: which meant when I feel negative emotions, I will instead
Speaker 2: choose to feel nothing because I don't really deal well
Speaker 2: with dealing with negative emotions, like very non confrontational, very
Speaker 2: rarely get angry. Like those things were very scary to me,
Speaker 2: and a big thing that I had to learn was like,
Speaker 2: the only thing that that will result in is burnout
Speaker 2: because to suppress emotions takes like three times the amount
Speaker 2: of energy then to just feel the emotion and to
Speaker 2: just allow yourself to be like, what I'm feeling is
Speaker 2: valid and I can feel it.
Speaker 1: And it always comes up.
Speaker 2: Oh it does, even if it comes up in a
Speaker 2: way that you didn't realize that it's coming up. It
Speaker 2: always comes up. And also the thing is it always
Speaker 2: comes up and it's not going to just go away
Speaker 2: because you're not putting time and energy into it. And
Speaker 2: also in the age of like social media, you really
Speaker 2: are told like, if you're negative about things, if you're
Speaker 2: this like positive mindset, stuff is great. But sometimes people
Speaker 2: can take it too far and like you always have
Speaker 2: to be positive, positive, yeah, but like they don't realize
Speaker 2: that sometimes part of a positive mindset is processing the
Speaker 2: negative emotions to leave room for the positivity. I think
Speaker 2: a lot of people have all the room taken up
Speaker 2: by like anger, sadness, grief, whatever, and then they just
Speaker 2: try and like squash the positivity on top without realizing
Speaker 2: to have room for that, you have to deal with
Speaker 2: everything else that's in there. So I went through this
Speaker 2: period where I was like I'm gonna be sad, I'm
Speaker 2: going to cry in my bed all day, and like
Speaker 2: I started asking myself like really scary questions that I'd
Speaker 2: always avoided, Like my therapist. I was like, you know,
Speaker 2: I'm just so exhausted and I just feel like giving up.
Speaker 2: And then my therapists would be like, okay, well why
Speaker 2: don't you give up? I'd be like sorry, She's like, well,
Speaker 2: what would that look like? What would that look like
Speaker 2: if you just turned around today and you're like I'm
Speaker 2: going to give up? Why don't you feel that feeling
Speaker 2: and think about it? And actually process what that would
Speaker 2: look like for you and how that would make you feel,
Speaker 2: rather than just like saying it as a concept, think
Speaker 2: about it genuinely go to that place, because I think
Speaker 2: a lot of us will be like, oh, I don't
Speaker 2: even want to like touch that emotion.
Speaker 1: I can't I can't go that.
Speaker 2: I don't want to go there. I don't want to
Speaker 2: think about that. Or she'd be like, you know, why
Speaker 2: don't you just take a day and cry all day
Speaker 2: in bed and see what happens at the end of
Speaker 2: the day. And like that was a really that sounds
Speaker 2: so simple, That was so that's so deep. It was
Speaker 2: so transformational to me to just be like, Okay, what
Speaker 2: if I just allow myself to be negative? What if
Speaker 2: I just allow myself to cry? What if I allow
Speaker 2: myself to be angry? What if I allow myself to
Speaker 2: just do these emotions and get them out and then
Speaker 2: give myself a period of like, Okay, for a day,
Speaker 2: I'm going to be sad and I'm not going to
Speaker 2: work and I'm not going to do anything. I'm just
Speaker 2: gonna lay in my bed and cry and read a
Speaker 2: book and do nothing and just do it for a
Speaker 2: day and see what the result is, and then you
Speaker 2: go to bed, comes up the next morning and you're like, oh, okay,
Speaker 2: well the ladder, what am I going to do today? Now?
Speaker 2: Like that was done. I did that. The world didn't end.
Speaker 2: I survived, I processed the emotions. It didn't kill me.
Speaker 2: All right, let's move on to the next thing now.
Speaker 2: And like once I kind of realized that, I then
Speaker 2: started to have like healthy processing of emotion. And I
Speaker 2: think it is so scary to actually do the things
Speaker 2: of like I'm gonna give up, I'm gonna cry, i'm
Speaker 2: gonna fall apart, I'm gonna have a breakdown, and then
Speaker 2: when you do it and you come out the other end,
Speaker 2: you're like, okay, cool. So that was that just the
Speaker 2: same as like when you have a super happy day,
Speaker 2: the happy day ends and you wake up the next
Speaker 2: morning when you start again, it's the exact same thing.
Speaker 2: And that was a really cool thing to do. So
Speaker 2: they're the two main things. And then the third thing,
Speaker 2: if it is you know, a financial option, get professional help.
Speaker 1: Amen.
Speaker 2: Amen is a big thing I say to people because
Speaker 2: it's like you can mindset, diet, exercise, do all the
Speaker 2: fun stuff things as much as you want acupuncture, sauna,
Speaker 2: all those like alternative things. Sometimes at the end of
Speaker 2: the day, you need a professional to come in and
Speaker 2: help you. And if you do have the funds to
Speaker 2: do it, there's nothing wrong in saying, no, I need help,
Speaker 2: no I need medication, I need a professional to talk
Speaker 2: me through this. I need to do the work. And
Speaker 2: that's okay. And I always say that to people as well,
Speaker 2: like you can do every single alternative therapy in the world,
Speaker 2: but at the end of the day, scientifically, sometimes when
Speaker 2: you're really distressed, you're really depressed whatever, your brain goes
Speaker 2: into fight or flight and when you're in that stage,
Speaker 2: it's actually physically impossible for your brain to take on
Speaker 2: new information. So you can be trying all these other things.
Speaker 2: Your brain has got a massive brick wall around it,
Speaker 2: being like I can't learn anything new right now. I
Speaker 2: can't take on any new information. So you're doing this stuff,
Speaker 2: You're pummeling yourself with self care and all these things,
Speaker 2: and at the end of the day, it's like you
Speaker 2: need to go and get professional help or someone to
Speaker 2: help you to get you to a space that then
Speaker 2: you can do all these alternate things. And I think
Speaker 2: that's really important whenever I'm sharing the journey that I've
Speaker 2: gone through. For me to not just sit here and
Speaker 2: be like, oh yeah, I had someone like do reiki
Speaker 2: on me and I was cured. It's like no, no, no,
Speaker 2: I'm also medicated. I got an eurodivergent diagnosis. I see
Speaker 2: a psychiatrist, I see a psychologist, and I do alternative healing.
Speaker 2: It's sort of like a quadruple pronged effect. And I
Speaker 2: think that's important to say to people as well, is
Speaker 2: like we are not meant to know everything, and that's
Speaker 2: why people are professionals in their job to help you.
Speaker 1: I love that you point that out, and I think
Speaker 1: it's well. When you were talking, something that came to
Speaker 1: mind was a lot of people ask like, oh, you
Speaker 1: were successful so fast in business.
Speaker 2: What did you do?
Speaker 1: And it's funny because this six months before I even
Speaker 1: started Naked Harvest. I hired a business like mindset coach
Speaker 1: who had created a seven figure business and we just
Speaker 1: did mindset work and it cost me sixty thousand dollars,
Speaker 1: which sorry forty thousand US, which like I didn't have.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, well, I wanted a successful, you know, business,
Speaker 1: so I just went straight to the professional who could
Speaker 1: give me the identity work, the mindset work, everything, because
Speaker 1: that's what I wanted. And so people will pay for
Speaker 1: that with like, you know, business or whatnot. But what
Speaker 1: they also don't know is then that was the only
Speaker 1: business coach I've ever had, and anyone after that has
Speaker 1: been pure mindset mental health. And that's how I've been
Speaker 1: able to like move through life. And I'm like, I
Speaker 1: never think I have it figured out. I never think
Speaker 1: even though I teach other people self development and mindset,
Speaker 1: I'm still now continuously going to professionals because you should
Speaker 1: always be evolving and progressing. And a lot of the
Speaker 1: time we will go to p professionals when we are
Speaker 1: like a broken rock bottom or like we really really
Speaker 1: want something. But what you need to understand is it
Speaker 1: should be a continuous thing to be like a well
Speaker 1: rounded human and to continuously like progress and evolve. And
Speaker 1: of course it's not going to always be like to
Speaker 1: the amount because I can understand, like it would be
Speaker 1: taking a lot for you to see all these people
Speaker 1: and a lot of money and whatnot, and it's not
Speaker 1: always at that standard.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But I just truly believe we.
Speaker 1: Should always be looking for help. We should always be
Speaker 1: relying on other people and seeking out that professional help
Speaker 1: because we don't know it all well.
Speaker 2: It also like going through that experience and paying the
Speaker 2: money for it has made me so passionate about being
Speaker 2: like why is this not more accessible to people? Like
Speaker 2: why can we have access to so many other things?
Speaker 2: But like psychology is not on Medicare, psychology is not
Speaker 2: claimable on private health either. Like there's literally nothing.
Speaker 1: Either as a mindset coach.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like you get, yeah, you get, you get ten
Speaker 2: sessions on a mental health plan, but it's not even free,
Speaker 2: like it's you still got to pay gap and like
Speaker 2: ten sessions is not even one session a month. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Like if you've got actual complex mental health issues like
Speaker 2: I had postpartum depression, that's not just like oh I
Speaker 2: feel sad, Like that's a really complex mental health issue,
Speaker 2: you still can't even do yeah a session a month,
Speaker 2: and it's like when you have When I had postpartum depression,
Speaker 2: I was going once a week. So it's been something
Speaker 2: that's really like made me quite passionate around the idea
Speaker 2: of like why is that so expensive and why aren't
Speaker 2: we prioritizing it more and making it more accessible to
Speaker 2: a larger audience of people because it is so transformative
Speaker 2: and it is so helpful, and I think doing stuff
Speaker 2: like I always explained to people, like what's the difference
Speaker 2: between your life coach and your psychologist? And I'm like,
Speaker 2: it's different in the way of like with my psychologists
Speaker 2: we talk about the way I feel, and with my
Speaker 2: life coach and the work she sort of does around
Speaker 2: like emotional healing. It's how those emotions show up physically,
Speaker 2: either in my life or in my body, and that's
Speaker 2: where they kind of like work together to access it.
Speaker 2: On all sides.
Speaker 1: It's almost like the first thing is actual awareness and
Speaker 1: then it's like the actual processing.
Speaker 2: Yes is that yes? Yeah, yeah, And I found that
Speaker 2: like really really helpful. But yeah, there is a massive
Speaker 2: financial barrier to those things and it is such a
Speaker 2: privilege to be able to do it. But I also,
Speaker 2: since leaving my husband, had to prioritize financially. Okay, I'm
Speaker 2: going to cut other things because this is so important
Speaker 2: to me that I've got to find the money somewhere.
Speaker 1: Well, that's what I want to bring up because one
Speaker 1: hundred percent, it should be more accessible, it should be
Speaker 1: more available, But I do want to counter that with
Speaker 1: I don't think people prioritize that they will. For example,
Speaker 1: I speaking to a girlfriend who wants to, you know,
Speaker 1: get a coach and whatnot. She's like, well, I just
Speaker 1: don't have the money. And I'm like, babe, I know
Speaker 1: for a fact the amount of money you spend on
Speaker 1: facials and beauty appointments, and obviously that's not the same
Speaker 1: like a single mum, but I'm like you just for me,
Speaker 1: for example, having that beach business coach, It's like I
Speaker 1: didn't have the money, it was the only thing I
Speaker 1: could do, but it was such a priority. And I
Speaker 1: think a lot of the time, like for example, my
Speaker 1: mom and dad, mental health wasn't spoken about. Yeah, Like
Speaker 1: it was like you're happy, you're sad, and also if
Speaker 1: you're sad, don't talk to me about it. And I
Speaker 1: think in society there has not been a lot of
Speaker 1: importance on our mental health.
Speaker 2: So when people like, oh, what I have I have
Speaker 2: to pay for this? Yeah, I was like, yes, you'd
Speaker 2: do when it's really.
Speaker 1: Important and it should be not only more accessible and cheaper,
Speaker 1: but it also should be a priority.
Speaker 2: I think a lot of that can also come down
Speaker 2: to though, like the way that we had taught about
Speaker 2: mental health in society and also the fear and stigma
Speaker 2: that comes around dealing with mental health. Like some people
Speaker 2: will like, there genuinely are people out there who can't
Speaker 2: even afford to put groceries on the table, right, So
Speaker 2: of course they're like the people they physically.
Speaker 1: Cannot got to eat.
Speaker 2: Yes, if I cannot find the money anywhere, like I'm stuffed.
Speaker 2: But then there's also people who, you know, they've been
Speaker 2: told their whole lives, like, you know, it's weird. People
Speaker 2: go to therapy and it's scary and it's uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: When I told my parents like five years ago that
Speaker 1: I was going because I did therapy for probably three
Speaker 1: years straight, they literally were like, but you're so fine,
Speaker 1: Like we raised you so well, why do you need
Speaker 1: to go to therapy like you had the best childhood.
Speaker 2: Well, when you have those stigmas associated with it, and
Speaker 2: then you're telling someone who is really you know, living
Speaker 2: paycheck to paycheck and is struggling to them, be like, no,
Speaker 2: actually cut something out of your life that you really
Speaker 2: enjoy and brings you a slither of joy and put
Speaker 2: it towards this thing that you've been told your whole
Speaker 2: life only freaks do and it's really scary and it's
Speaker 2: comfortable and you're not gonna like it and whatever. Like,
Speaker 2: of course people are gonna be like, I get very
Speaker 2: few luxuries as it is, and now I've got to
Speaker 2: pay all my money that I get to put towards
Speaker 2: anything for me that I like towards doing therapy. Well,
Speaker 2: of course people are gonna be like, I'm not fucking
Speaker 2: doing that, like, and that makes so much sense to
Speaker 2: me when you like frame it that way, which is
Speaker 2: why I also like do so much of my time
Speaker 2: online explaining to women like, it is so okay to
Speaker 2: be struggling. Doesn't make your freak, it doesn't make you weird.
Speaker 2: Go and get therapy, like, you will be so grateful
Speaker 2: for it. And the sooner you start, the sooner you
Speaker 2: get to the end. And that's a big thing where
Speaker 2: I'm like, I know it's scary, and I know you
Speaker 2: feel like you don't have money, and I know you
Speaker 2: feel like you're going to have to sacrifice the very
Speaker 2: few luxuries you have in like a cost of living
Speaker 2: crisis where things are already tight, But trust me, it.
Speaker 1: Would be the best.
Speaker 2: It's worth it, trust me, Like if you can, if
Speaker 2: you are not at the point where you're like, we
Speaker 2: can't even pay groceries. Like, if you have a spare
Speaker 2: fifty dollars a week, spend six months saving up that
Speaker 2: fifty dollars to do therapy. I promise you you will
Speaker 2: not regret it and it will not be like wasted
Speaker 2: money at all. But it's so hard, and you can
Speaker 2: understand why people feel absolutely apprehensive about starting it totally.
Speaker 1: And that's like, I also think people need to get
Speaker 1: And it's like even what you're saying, how like you'd
Speaker 1: see some of my content and like, you know, roll
Speaker 1: your eyes. I think people need to get to a
Speaker 1: certain spot in their life for something to be relevant
Speaker 1: and for something to be a priority. And like we said,
Speaker 1: like it does suck that it has to be rock bottom,
Speaker 1: and for you it had to be literally your whole
Speaker 1: world crashing down. But now that you've done it, you're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I you know, this is amazing. I
Speaker 1: want to scream it to the world. And so it
Speaker 1: does really suck that sometimes it has to be rock bottom,
Speaker 1: or sometimes someone just has to be really ready. And
Speaker 1: what I say with like therapy or mindset work or
Speaker 1: anything like that you can never push someone to go
Speaker 1: and do it because let's say you know your brother's
Speaker 1: an addict and he's gone going through whatnot, and you're like,
Speaker 1: I'll pay your therapy, I'll do.
Speaker 2: It, unless you have to want to help yourself.
Speaker 1: Unless he wants to help himself and he's ready for
Speaker 1: the awareness and he's ready for it, it's not even
Speaker 1: going to work. And so it is very sad that
Speaker 1: like some people will never really get to that place
Speaker 1: or have that realization because they do truly believe it's
Speaker 1: like for this work to work, you need to be
Speaker 1: ready for it.
Speaker 2: You have to I like have said to a lot
Speaker 2: of people around like self work, you have to literally
Speaker 2: chuck your ego in the min and like let go
Speaker 2: of everything everything you knew, so humble and just be like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm coming to you like a chakra work. Yeah, like
Speaker 2: you're coming to like I am a worm, Like I
Speaker 2: am not going like build me back up. And but
Speaker 2: that's really hard to do, Like that's really hard to
Speaker 2: be like let that go, let that ego go, like
Speaker 2: even the ego of being like getting to the point
Speaker 2: of like being like I'm not okay, I'm actually really
Speaker 2: fun struggling. That takes so much to like stand there
Speaker 2: to people and actually wholeheartedly admit, hey, I'm really not
Speaker 2: doing okay. Is such a scary and hard thing to do, like,
Speaker 2: and that's the thing where it's like the person has
Speaker 2: to be ready to do it themselves and you have
Speaker 2: to take those scary steps otherwise you're just not gonna
Speaker 2: get to a point where you're gonna it's gonna like
Speaker 2: actually set in because you need to strip away yeah,
Speaker 2: everything else. Otherwise it's just like you are literally peeing
Speaker 2: money up the wall and just being like it's not
Speaker 2: gonna work. Like you have to get to a point,
Speaker 2: like I was saying before when I did the course,
Speaker 2: I was just like, well, I've paid all this money,
Speaker 2: like I got to go into this full chest one
Speaker 2: hundred percent. Otherwise I am just gonna be wasting yes lumps.
Speaker 2: And that is really really hard and takes a lot
Speaker 2: of yeah, humbleness to be like okay, like I'm just
Speaker 2: gonna swallow everything in my head that's saying this is
Speaker 2: silly and this is stupid and this will never work
Speaker 2: and just being like just give it a go and see.
Speaker 2: And that takes because it's a risk because known you're
Speaker 2: not guaranteed a result at the end, So that's the
Speaker 2: scary bit.
Speaker 1: It is scary, and also because a lot of it
Speaker 1: relies on how much you show up, and a lot
Speaker 1: of people don't have that confidence in themselves. All right,
Speaker 1: my love, I'm going to ask you one last question.
Speaker 1: And this has been an amazing conversation, by the way, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's really stimulated me.
Speaker 2: I've really enjoyed it. For sure, I could talk forever,
Speaker 2: but we're still going to your.
Speaker 1: Something I just want to quickly touch on is the
Speaker 1: comments that you get on TikTok. Like I follow you
Speaker 1: on TikTok, love your content, and I remember once it
Speaker 1: was because you had like replied to a comment, so
Speaker 1: I like press the comments and I was literally baffled.
Speaker 1: What some people comment to you and what some people
Speaker 1: think they have the right to have an opinion about
Speaker 1: your life or how you're processing or how you're doing
Speaker 1: something is so wild. And then I like one on
Speaker 1: a bit of thing of like checking out your other comments,
Speaker 1: and I just want to say, you should be so
Speaker 1: proud of how you show up on social media, the
Speaker 1: criticism and judgment you hold and deal with because like,
Speaker 1: and it kind of seems like other moms if I'm
Speaker 1: getting it right.
Speaker 2: Well, my audience is ninety six percent female, so it
Speaker 2: makes sense. Yes, And so it's like, I just want
Speaker 2: to say, such a testament to the work you've done
Speaker 2: and who you are, because honestly, I was like looking
Speaker 2: there and I was like, if people this fucking judgmental
Speaker 2: to me, I don't know how I would feel. So,
Speaker 2: first of all, I know probably not on that level,
Speaker 2: but anyone going through a big life change, the judgments
Speaker 2: and criticisms is so much and I'd love for you
Speaker 2: to kind of just finish on the advice for someone
Speaker 2: going through it, just because you've like yeah, on social media,
Speaker 2: I was like, that's a.
Speaker 1: Bit much like, yes, I hope you're blocking people.
Speaker 2: Well, this is the thing that I so many creators
Speaker 2: are like, you're fucking insane because I very rarely block
Speaker 2: and delete. I leave a lot your face is like,
Speaker 2: excuse me, I leave a lot of the negative discourse up. Obviously,
Speaker 2: if it goes to a place of it being like
Speaker 2: absolutely appropriate, futrid and bile, yes, those people get blocked
Speaker 2: and deleted, or if it's just like them constantly constantly, constantly,
Speaker 2: I might like, okay, okay.
Speaker 1: D obsess me, but my page.
Speaker 2: I've never been never been afraid of negative discourse or
Speaker 2: hidden it because I think there is so much learning
Speaker 2: in dealing with negative judgments or even letting people see
Speaker 2: negativity against you. I think it shows people like I
Speaker 2: think it's very common for creators, and it's I would say,
Speaker 2: by and large, the done thing to delete and block
Speaker 2: negative opinions. But then it makes people sometimes think when
Speaker 2: they view something that you know, everyone else in life
Speaker 2: is making these big changes and doing these big things
Speaker 2: and they're not getting any negative pushback, and then they're
Speaker 2: trying to do the same thing and they're like, why
Speaker 2: is everyone in my life being such a ce next
Speaker 2: Tuesday about doing X, Y and Z. So I do
Speaker 2: leave it up sometimes to show people the reality, the
Speaker 2: reality of sometimes doing hard things or changing things is like, yes,
Speaker 2: you have to deal with negative backlash and push through.
Speaker 2: I also think there's a lot of learning that can
Speaker 2: come from me in negativity. Also, I feel like it's
Speaker 2: really great to like touch on I think being women,
Speaker 2: I definitely have learned in the last six months that
Speaker 2: internalized misogyny is alive and well in Australian women, absolutely
Speaker 2: so so so fascinating to watch the me and my
Speaker 2: X husband go through the exact same situation and the vast,
Speaker 2: vast differences in his comment section versus my comment section,
Speaker 2: and the only difference is he has a penis and
Speaker 2: I do not, which is really really frustrating to endure
Speaker 2: and see. I think people get very triggered watching someone
Speaker 2: do hard things and survive because it goes against them,
Speaker 2: standing up the narrative they've told themselves of I have
Speaker 2: to accept this because if I don't accept the shitty behavior, yes,
Speaker 2: if I don't, and that's in everything, that's not just
Speaker 2: in a relationship, like I have to accept this lot
Speaker 2: in life because there's no other option. And people who
Speaker 2: feel really trapped in that when they see someone not
Speaker 2: accepting that, going against it, doing the hard work and
Speaker 2: coming out the other end, that triggers the fuck out
Speaker 2: of them because they're like, hang on a minute, no,
Speaker 2: because then I can't just tell myself I have to
Speaker 2: accept what is happening to me in life. I can't
Speaker 2: just be the victim, because you're showing me in real
Speaker 2: time that I can choose another option, and there's always
Speaker 2: another choice, and I hate that because that doesn't make
Speaker 2: me feel good about myself and the choices that I'm
Speaker 2: making in my own life. Which actually that response makes
Speaker 2: me the saddest because I'm like, I share those things
Speaker 2: to show you there is another option. So it makes
Speaker 2: me really sad when it makes people feel like, oh, like,
Speaker 2: I don't like that because it makes me feel bad
Speaker 2: about the choice I am choosing. That's never the intention.
Speaker 2: It's to show like, hey, like you can be vulnerable,
Speaker 2: you can be honest to people around you. You can
Speaker 2: say I'm not doing well. I failed at this, this sucked.
Speaker 2: This was a really hard period, and that's okay. You
Speaker 2: can share all of that stuff and keep on keeping on.
Speaker 2: I think it's also really cool to show, you know.
Speaker 2: A big thing on social media is the struggle Olympics, right,
Speaker 2: especially TikTok. It has a real thing of you will
Speaker 2: share something hard, and it's the worst platform for someone
Speaker 2: being like, yeah, but there's also this person doing this
Speaker 2: and it's like I've got it harder. Yes, And that
Speaker 2: can get really exhausting to deal with as well. And
Speaker 2: I think it's a reason why I've never stopped showing
Speaker 2: my heart is to really just push, like you don't
Speaker 2: have to be like in a homeless shelter with one
Speaker 2: cent to your name to be going through a hard time.
Speaker 2: Anyone can go through hard times at any time. And
Speaker 2: also everyone does go through hard times, you know, Like
Speaker 2: I think we get put in this mindset of like
Speaker 2: no one else is going through hard times, it's just me.
Speaker 2: Or A really big thing I found in social media
Speaker 2: is people will about the hard times in retrospect and
Speaker 2: they'll make like one fifteen second video about it, and
Speaker 2: every day Joe is looking at that video being like,
Speaker 2: oh I went through a time like that. Oh you
Speaker 2: sorted that in a fifteen second video. Why am I
Speaker 2: still in the Why have I been going through this
Speaker 2: for a year? Then, and you did all of that
Speaker 2: behind the scenes. I never even saw any of it,
Speaker 2: and then you've made this like summary video and now
Speaker 2: everything's like fine and andy. So sometimes I'm like, despite
Speaker 2: the negativity, I think it's really healthy to show people
Speaker 2: like hard times can last and hard times can go
Speaker 2: on for a while, and it's not something that you
Speaker 2: can just wake up and fix. And so sometimes I
Speaker 2: feel bad and I'm like, oh God, I don't want
Speaker 2: to come online and be like, hey, everything's still a
Speaker 2: mess over here. But then other times I'm like this
Speaker 2: is so normal, like it's actually just realize yes, like
Speaker 2: this is just the reality of it, and like this
Speaker 2: is normal emotions that people go through. And I think
Speaker 2: sometimes by showing up or even letting people see the
Speaker 2: stigma that goes against expressing negative parts of your life
Speaker 2: almost destigmatizes it. And I really hope that like one person,
Speaker 2: Like I always say this, if one person goes through
Speaker 2: a hard time and thinks, oh, well, you know, like
Speaker 2: I saw that girl on social media do the same thing,
Speaker 2: and I saw she got through it and I can
Speaker 2: get through it, then I'm happy. I just need one
Speaker 2: person for it to resonate to, and I'm like that's
Speaker 2: enough for me. Like I don't need everyone to love
Speaker 2: me all the time. No, I would rather make an
Speaker 2: impact on one person and be vulnerable and actually authentic
Speaker 2: to me then be like wishy washy and have everyone
Speaker 2: love me. And I think that has really been what
Speaker 2: I've told myself my entire journey online of like just
Speaker 2: be you and accept not everyone's gonna like you, and
Speaker 2: it's going to trigger people watching you be you, because
Speaker 2: not many people do that and that's okay. It doesn't
Speaker 2: matter because if you make a difference to a small
Speaker 2: group of people, that's enough for you. And I think
Speaker 2: that really comes down to on social media, people like
Speaker 2: how do you do it? Like, I think it really
Speaker 2: comes down to your why and understanding, like.
Speaker 1: And that's your why. So that makes complete sense, hmm.
Speaker 2: But it is rough in saying this. There is days fucked.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: There is days where I will call my best comments
Speaker 2: so I was like, are these people okay, what's happening?
Speaker 2: I will call my best friend in tears and be
Speaker 2: like I can't do this, or like call my therapist
Speaker 2: in tears and be like, you know, like it is hard,
Speaker 2: Like it's not like I'm like happy, positive about it
Speaker 2: all the time. But I just try and remember, why
Speaker 2: are you doing it? And I always say to people
Speaker 2: because of the amount of hate I yet I definitely
Speaker 2: am not in social media for the money, because no
Speaker 2: amount of money could justify that. I'm in it for
Speaker 2: the thing of like I love talking to women and
Speaker 2: I love helping women, and that's why I show up
Speaker 2: every day Because you could pay me a million dollars
Speaker 2: and I wouldn't freaking sit and cop some of the
Speaker 2: stuff that I cop every day. Yeah, it's not about that,
Speaker 2: and that's not what fills me up and lights me up.
Speaker 2: So that's how I try and deal with it.
Speaker 1: I love that you're so self aware and it's so beautiful. No,
Speaker 1: it is because I think even you clarifying and being like, well,
Speaker 1: this is my why, and a not a lot of
Speaker 1: people even have a why. They don't have a purpose,
Speaker 1: they don't have that. So for me to hear that,
Speaker 1: that's incredible that you've been able to process that and
Speaker 1: move through that too.
Speaker 2: I feel like identifying your why is so important to
Speaker 2: do it, and like money can be your why. That's
Speaker 2: so fine off literally, especially as a woman. I want
Speaker 2: to make that really clear. You are allowed to have
Speaker 2: money be your why. Men have done it for generations
Speaker 2: and generations and no one said fuck all about it.
Speaker 2: So if you want your why to be I want
Speaker 2: to be rich and have money, it slay queen. But
Speaker 2: I think like you need to identify what is it
Speaker 2: and then make decisions from there. Yeah, and then so
Speaker 2: once you are so zoned in on that, the rest
Speaker 2: is kind of white noise.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you just and that's well, that's the main thing.
Speaker 1: Is like, well, the money can be the why, so
Speaker 1: then don't fucking worry about the comments because it's literally
Speaker 1: your money.
Speaker 2: Literally, that's what I mean. And it's just identifying what
Speaker 2: is the purpose and why you're doing it, and the
Speaker 2: second you have that, it's a lot easier.
Speaker 1: I love that so much. Bella, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for coming on the show. So thank you being me amazing.
Speaker 1: We are now going to do a podcast on Bella's podcast,
Speaker 1: so go and check that out all linked in the
Speaker 1: show notes if it's live. But where can everyone find you?
Speaker 1: You know, get on board with everything?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so across pretty much every platform. It's Bell's Messina,
Speaker 2: so b E double ls and Messina like the ice cream. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I would love to have people over. I love yapping
Speaker 2: and sharing and I love new perspectives and like, I
Speaker 2: really pride myself on being super interactive. So if anyone's
Speaker 2: listening to this and anything resonates with you, please dm me.
Speaker 2: I would love to chat. Yeah, I would love to
Speaker 2: yap to you about We could chat for hours.
Speaker 1: O good. Yeah, thank you so much, my love, no worries.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to this episode of
Speaker 1: the Rise and Conquer podcast. If you enjoyed it and
Speaker 1: want more, connect with us via Instagram or continue the
Speaker 1: conversation on our beautiful Facebook community page. All the details,
Speaker 1: earn the show notes, and I'd love to hear more
Speaker 1: about your journey. Also, we're an independent podcast with a
Speaker 1: small but mighty team, so we really do appreciate your support.
Speaker 1: If you have a spare moment, please click the follow
Speaker 1: or subscribe button to the podcast, and if you leave
Speaker 1: a review, you'll help other people find our content and
Speaker 1: we would be so grateful.