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Speaker 1: I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the

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Speaker 1: land on which this episode is being recorded, the Combomb

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Speaker 1: Merry people. They've been having conversations and telling stories on

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Speaker 1: this land for thousands of years, and we show our

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Speaker 1: gratitude and respect for their contribution to our environment and culture.

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Speaker 1: This is Rise and Conquer, the podcast where we strive

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Speaker 1: to become the highest version of ourselves through curious conversations,

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Speaker 1: healthy mindsets, laughter, connection, and a deep desire to evolve.

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Speaker 1: I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson. Join me as we explore parenthood, business, manifestation,

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Speaker 1: and so much more. It's positive, it's practical, and it's

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Speaker 1: about putting you in the driver's seat of your own life.

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Speaker 1: Are you ready, Bella? Welcome to the Right and Conquered Podcasts. Hello,

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Speaker 1: thank you for having me, Thank you so much for coming.

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Speaker 1: We have hero here.

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Speaker 2: I know bellas do puppy so you can hear us.

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Speaker 1: See.

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Speaker 2: I was just saying, like, he's so chill, and we've

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Speaker 2: been in here for like fifteen minutes, like chatting off Mike,

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Speaker 2: and he didn't say a word, and then the second

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Speaker 2: we turned the MIC's on, he's like like wanting to

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Speaker 2: run around. Poor little Bobby.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, I feel like real dog people here. So it's

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Speaker 1: so fine.

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Speaker 2: I know, I just got him yesterday and I was like,

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Speaker 2: I can't really leave him at home by himself yet,

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Speaker 2: so I was like, he's just gonna come and be

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Speaker 2: our third little guest. So if you hear like whimpering

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Speaker 2: or his color rattling, I'm sorry, but he's really cute.

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Speaker 1: We're here for it. Yeah. He's a cocker Spaniel and

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Speaker 1: he just looks super dopey and chill you like long ears.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, poor little thing. They get all like

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Speaker 2: caught in his water bowl and stuff. But I'm so

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Speaker 2: excited to like have a dog back in my life

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Speaker 2: because my other dog who I had for like ten years,

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Speaker 2: passed away last year. And I am such a dog

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Speaker 2: person that I was like, I'm it's.

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Speaker 1: So comfortable, isn't it. It's so comforting it is. And

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Speaker 1: Rosie and Bennie loving him.

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Speaker 2: They haven't met him yet. It's a surprise. They meet

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Speaker 2: him this afternoon. Oh my goodness, I know. So I

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Speaker 2: hope they're going to be excited. I think they will be,

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Speaker 2: come on, I think they will be because Rosie has

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Speaker 2: been asking for a dog Rosie is my oldest daughter.

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Speaker 2: I have two daughters, and she's watched four in November.

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Speaker 2: Our daughters are actually born one day apart. So we

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Speaker 2: did our first pregnancies together. Yes, we do you and

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Speaker 2: now you've got another little bubby in your belly, I know.

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Speaker 1: And then so Bennie. How old's Bennie?

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Speaker 2: She's two in June?

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Speaker 1: Two in June.

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Speaker 2: I was taken back to that, and I remember when

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Speaker 2: I told you I was pregnant again. You were like,

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Speaker 2: are you insane? My face would have been like, oh,

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Speaker 2: you would think about, oh my goodness, are you okay?

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Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, it's fine. Nice, young naive me

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Speaker 2: who had like a unicorn first baby, who was so easy,

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Speaker 2: was like, I can do two under two absolutely no issues.

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Speaker 2: And I love it because you've got a big slice

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Speaker 2: of humble pie. On that one off.

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Speaker 1: Air you were telling me like how well Rosie slept.

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Speaker 1: And she's such a beautiful soul.

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Speaker 2: Very she's extroverted, but very like sweet, very sweet. My

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Speaker 2: youngest is like very headstrong. Yes, well, it's like.

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Speaker 1: Don't you see those tiktoks where it's like my firstborn

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Speaker 1: my second born. So I don't think you're alone like

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Speaker 1: it seems like everyone is high.

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Speaker 2: She like tricked me though the first six months, and

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Speaker 2: I was like, Oh, she's this sweet little angel baby,

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Speaker 2: and then now she's like getting her own like toddler personality.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, nah, she's insane.

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Speaker 1: They do that sometimes because when they are a newborn,

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Speaker 1: they just like sleep and feed and you're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: there's nothing to them. So that was honestly a bit

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Speaker 1: of an intro already with the girls. But do you

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Speaker 1: just want to tell the irn C community who you are,

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Speaker 1: what you do, what you're about.

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Speaker 2: Sure, So the elevator pitch, my Elevader pitch has drastically

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Speaker 2: changed in the last six months. It used to be

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Speaker 2: very different. Yes, but I am a single mom to

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Speaker 2: two beautiful girls, like I just said before, Rosie and Benny,

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Speaker 2: and I am a full time content creator. I also

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Speaker 2: have a podcast. Mine is more about like, well, at

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Speaker 2: the moment, it's been about finding myself after being a

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Speaker 2: stay at home mum and divorcing my ex husband. But

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Speaker 2: it's more about like womanhood, I guess, and like motherhood

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Speaker 2: and that's what I do with most of my time.

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Speaker 2: Other than I still do have my girls two days

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Speaker 2: a week. At home with me as well. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: I've gone through a big transition period, so I think

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Speaker 2: right now my biggest question is finding the answer for

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Speaker 2: my elevator pitch. Like I'm still in that stage of

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Speaker 2: like who am I? Like what am I doing at

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Speaker 2: the moment, which has been a fun journey to sort

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Speaker 2: of do with my followers and listeners.

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Speaker 1: I love that so much, And that's actually why I

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Speaker 1: wanted to have you on the podcast, because this season

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Speaker 1: is all about getting what you want, and I think

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Speaker 1: it's so important to showcase that that doesn't always look

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Speaker 1: like you know the end result, and like I think

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Speaker 1: a lot of the time when you're listening to podcasts,

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Speaker 1: it's the person who has like done it all and

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Speaker 1: been there and it's twenty years down the line of success.

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Speaker 1: And so I really wanted to get you on because

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Speaker 1: you are in such a transitional season, like you said,

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Speaker 1: divorcing becoming a single mom or within you know, the

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Speaker 1: last six months, or while doing it on social media,

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Speaker 1: which will get into that, and I think you are

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Speaker 1: such the representation of the becoming in real time, which

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Speaker 1: a lot of people don't talk about. And I think

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Speaker 1: once you get to the I know who I am.

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Speaker 2: I know the elevator.

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Speaker 1: Pitch, you can sometimes forget the process, the process and

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Speaker 1: the transition. So I'm so excited to have you on

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Speaker 1: and to talk about that. And so many people would

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Speaker 1: be in the exact same position going through a transition,

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Speaker 1: going through a life challenge, and so obviously we're going

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Speaker 1: to talk about that all, but let's just talk about

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Speaker 1: you said like you are in the transition of getting

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Speaker 1: your spark back and what that has looked like over

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Speaker 1: the last couple of months.

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Speaker 2: I think like a really interesting point to kind of

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Speaker 2: touch on is when you're talking about like getting what

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Speaker 2: you want. A really interesting experience that I've gone through

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Speaker 2: is like I got everything that I thought I wanted,

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Speaker 2: and then I got there and then was like, oh, actually,

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Speaker 2: maybe this isn't what I wanted. And that has been

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Speaker 2: like a really interesting journey now to be like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: what do I actually want? Because I thought I knew

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Speaker 2: and I got there, and then it didn't work out

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Speaker 2: for me. It wasn't meant for me, it wasn't actually

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Speaker 2: what I needed in life, and now I'm like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: well let's try again, which I think a lot of

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Speaker 2: people don't want to admit to like you might say

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Speaker 2: for years and years and years like oh, this is

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Speaker 2: where I want to go, and then like not many

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Speaker 2: people when they get there and they don't like it,

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Speaker 2: have the backbone to be like, actually, like this isn't

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Speaker 2: for me, Like this isn't what I want. And people

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Speaker 2: get really triggered as well when you say like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I reached the goals and I did what I wanted

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Speaker 2: to do, but I didn't like it or I wasn't fulfilled,

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Speaker 2: or it didn't make me happy. So that's been so interesting.

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Speaker 2: And I think like linking to what you were saying

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Speaker 2: about the spark, that is what kind of made me realize,

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Speaker 2: like maybe this isn't for me because I had no spark,

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Speaker 2: Like I was doing things that I had said my

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Speaker 2: entire life, like I want to be a stay at

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Speaker 2: home mom, I want to be married, I want to

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Speaker 2: have kids young, I want to be financially set up,

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Speaker 2: like we owned multiple businesses together, my ex husband and I.

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Speaker 2: I want to do all these things like I had

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Speaker 2: social media, I had you know, on paper, like the

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Speaker 2: dream life, and then you know, stuff doesn't always work

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Speaker 2: out the way that you think, and that went away

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Speaker 2: and then it was like, now without all those things

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Speaker 2: that I thought I wanted, I feel more fulfilled and

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Speaker 2: more vibrant and like I have so much more passion

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Speaker 2: for life than when I was in this like dream

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Speaker 2: life that I told myself was going to be the

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Speaker 2: most fulfilling thing ever. And that has been such an

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Speaker 2: interesting process to go through. And when people always ask like,

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Speaker 2: how have you found that spark, the biggest thing I

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Speaker 2: always say is surrendering. I feel like for so long,

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Speaker 2: like sometimes the problem is when you're a super ambitious

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Speaker 2: person or you like plan everything, you very type A

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Speaker 2: is like you want to control like every single little

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Speaker 2: bit of your life, and then that can be really

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Speaker 2: taxing and really draining. And I found that I have

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Speaker 2: had the ability to connect with myself and learn so

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Speaker 2: much more about myself and become so much happier by

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Speaker 2: letting go and just surrendering and being like, Okay, like

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Speaker 2: you can't control every single asset and aspect of your life.

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Speaker 2: Just go with it and surrender a little bit and

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Speaker 2: kind of see where life takes you. And that has

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Speaker 2: led me to be the happiest that I could be.

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Speaker 2: Because if you had told me like a year ago,

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Speaker 2: like hey, you're going to be divorced, You're not going

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Speaker 2: to be living with your partner anymore. You're not gonna

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Speaker 2: be a stay at home mum, You're only gonna have

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Speaker 2: your kids fifty percent of the time. You're gonna be

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Speaker 2: working full time in social media. I would have been like, no,

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Speaker 2: I'm fucking not. That sounds horrendous, Like that is not

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Speaker 2: what I want. That would never make me happy. I

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Speaker 2: would be so miserable, blah blah blah. And then I

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Speaker 2: kind of went through a journey where it's like, well,

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Speaker 2: I had no choice, and now I'm on the other side,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I actually really love my life now,

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Speaker 2: Like it would never have been something I would have

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Speaker 2: actively chosen for myself, but I'm so glad that it

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Speaker 2: did happen to me.

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Speaker 1: Well, let's even go there, because I think I resonate

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Speaker 1: a lot even with how I did a six year

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Speaker 1: law degree and I got at the end and I

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Speaker 1: was like, holy shit, I don't want to do this.

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Speaker 1: And I had that impending feeling of like, what are

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Speaker 1: people gonna think. They're gonna think I'm an idiot for

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Speaker 1: doing six years of law, putting all this time and

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Speaker 1: energy and effort into this specific dream, this vision, and

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Speaker 1: then I'm gonna quote unquote throw it away. But I

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Speaker 1: was miserable. Yeah, And I was like I saw, you know,

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Speaker 1: other people who had reached the career success that you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm aiming to do in thirty years, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, I don't want that. Now that I'm

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Speaker 1: in it, and now that I've seen it, I don't

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Speaker 1: want it. And it's such an interesting thing to almost

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Speaker 1: because I'd love to ask you your whole dream of

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Speaker 1: like stay at home mom with this partner, that sort

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Speaker 1: of ambitious stream that you were talking about, like when

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Speaker 1: did that happen? When did that start?

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Speaker 2: Kind Of always my mom was like full time working

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Speaker 2: bread winner in my family, and while that gave me

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Speaker 2: so many opportunities growing up, I always had wished like

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Speaker 2: she could have been around a bit more. And so

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Speaker 2: then I just got in my head like instead of

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Speaker 2: finding like a happy medium, I'm the type of person

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Speaker 2: that's like nothing, yeah, all nothing. So instead of being

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Speaker 2: like I could be a part time working mom and

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Speaker 2: like kind of best of both words, I was like,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to be a stay at home mom and

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Speaker 2: dedicated and I loved being a stay at home mom,

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Speaker 2: Like I actually really enjoyed it, and I thought I

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Speaker 2: was really good at it, and I found it really fulfilling.

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Speaker 2: But I think a really beautiful thing that I've learned

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Speaker 2: in the last six months is like things are not

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Speaker 2: so all or nothing or not so black and white,

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Speaker 2: and also like there's not just one version of your

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Speaker 2: life that that's the only life that could make you happy.

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Speaker 2: And I think I really held on to the idea

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Speaker 2: of like, well, no, I have to do this version.

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Speaker 2: And then I've sort of learned like you can take

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Speaker 2: so many different paths and still end up like a

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Speaker 2: really happy, fulfilled version of yourself. And like almost in

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Speaker 2: a really weird way to say this, because I've had

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Speaker 2: so many like crazy things happened to me, but like

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Speaker 2: I've just gotten in a mindset now of like it's

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Speaker 2: not that deep, Like it's just not that deep, Like

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Speaker 2: it's just not that like all or nothing like and

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Speaker 2: that sounds insane and people might be like, I don't

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Speaker 2: understand what you mean by that, but it's like I

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Speaker 2: think when you go through like extreme adversity, and if

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Speaker 2: like a listener has like followed me, they would really

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Speaker 2: know like the whole law of the last six months,

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Speaker 2: you really start to realize like you can get through anything,

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Speaker 2: and you can do anything, and like nothing so big

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Speaker 2: that you can't bounce back from it, you can't like

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Speaker 2: recover from it. I don't know, it's really hard to describe,

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Speaker 2: but it's like I've gotten to a point where I'm like, oh, well,

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Speaker 2: it'll work out, Like it has worked out. I've made

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Speaker 2: it through all of this so far, and I've ended

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Speaker 2: up in a really happy place. So like, whatever, it's

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Speaker 2: not that deep, there's something else out there. If that's

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Speaker 2: not gonna like fill me up, or if that's not

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Speaker 2: meant for me, there's obviously something else. And like I think,

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Speaker 2: in a weird way, like God, universe, whatever you believe

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Speaker 2: in sort of like forced me to be like okay,

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Speaker 2: like you are not listening to us, like we are

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Speaker 2: sending it all these signs like this is not the

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Speaker 2: path for you. This is not the path for you.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna have to freaking skull drag you now onto

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Speaker 2: a different path until you get the thing of like

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Speaker 2: you can't control everything. You can't you know, push your

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Speaker 2: version of what you want everything to be. You'll end

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Speaker 2: up where you meant to be no matter what, and

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Speaker 2: it you know, I feel like I always think of

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Speaker 2: the thing of the universe might like at first give

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Speaker 2: be like a little push and be like, hey, like

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Speaker 2: I don't think this is for you, maybe you should change.

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Speaker 2: And then you can be a really stubborn person and

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Speaker 2: be like no, like this is for me. I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: keep like going on this path. And then it can

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Speaker 2: give you like a little bit of a harder push

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Speaker 2: and it's like this isn't meant for you, Like you

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Speaker 2: need to change your course. You need to like course correct,

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Speaker 2: and then it gets to a point where it's like, okay,

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Speaker 2: we're just going to force you now because like this

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Speaker 2: is not meant for you. You can go through like

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Speaker 2: an absolute soul altering experience to learn this lesson because

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Speaker 2: you're clearly not listening to our like little nudges of

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Speaker 2: being like you shouldn't be doing this, you shouldn't be

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Speaker 2: doing this, And like, in hindsight, there is so much

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Speaker 2: now where I'm like, maybe that was a sign, like

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Speaker 2: that wasn't what I was meant to be, like choosing

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Speaker 2: for myself or doing or whatever. But then another part

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Speaker 2: of me is like I feel like everything's meant to

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Speaker 2: sort of happen for a reason.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I was about to ask you, did you get

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Speaker 1: those nudges? Did you get those small signs or was

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Speaker 1: it a truck came and hear you.

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Speaker 2: At the time, I was like, it's a truck come

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Speaker 2: and hit me and I've had no signs. And I

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Speaker 2: feel like that's very normal when you go through like

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Speaker 2: a big event. It's very normal to be like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I didn't know anything, and like this is so.

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Speaker 1: And it was happened to me.

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Speaker 2: It was a very like drastic change, and it was

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Speaker 2: very unexpected for me and everyone around me online, in

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Speaker 2: my personal life, like everyone was kind of shocked when

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I've left my husband and like

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Speaker 2: my life has done like a full one pint eighty.

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Speaker 2: Everyone was like, oh my god, what is going on?

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Speaker 2: But now looking back, I'm like there are so many

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Speaker 2: things where I'm like, wow, I really had my blinkers

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Speaker 2: on and was just no, I'm doing this. This is

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Speaker 2: the life I want, this is what I'm doing, And

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Speaker 2: like that sort of thing where you're saying before, well,

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Speaker 2: I've sacrificed so much and like I've done this, Like

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Speaker 2: if I give up now, or if I turn back now,

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Speaker 2: that was all for nothing. And like, I feel like

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Speaker 2: that is a very common thing that you can sort

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Speaker 2: of get stuck in, and not just in relationships like

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Speaker 2: in Korea, in friendships, in so many different things. You

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Speaker 2: can be like I did so much to get here.

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Speaker 2: If I just like turn around now and be like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I don't want to do this anymore, it's like, well,

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Speaker 2: was that all wasted time? But I think I've really

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Speaker 2: learned now to like appreciate the journey rather than just

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Speaker 2: like the result at the end, and also really learning

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Speaker 2: that there's no point having all the things you want

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Speaker 2: if you unhappy, Like we were saying this before, like

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Speaker 2: I was saying, off Mike, I would rather be struggling

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Speaker 2: and happy than have everything I want and be depressed.

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Speaker 2: And like that's a really interesting thing to learn because

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Speaker 2: I think in today's day and age, we're like told

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Speaker 2: all these external things are really going to make you

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Speaker 2: happy and make your life feel amazing and whatever, but

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Speaker 2: if you don't feel it inside, it like really doesn't.

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Speaker 1: Really a society really, we're honestly brainwashed. Society tells us

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Speaker 1: when we're younger, through like you know, the media, through

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Speaker 1: our parents through what we're taught in school. It's like

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Speaker 1: there's this checklist and these are you know, either material

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Speaker 1: things or like status things or relationship things.

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Speaker 2: Check this off, and.

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Speaker 1: Then you're successful. You have made it, like this is

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Speaker 1: what you need to do in life. And I feel

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Speaker 1: like that's the journey of like going through those things.

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Speaker 1: Like I can resonate in regards to I remember it

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Speaker 1: was probably before IVY or maybe like when I became

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Speaker 1: an I think it. No, it was just when I

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Speaker 1: became a new mum. And so for example, like you know,

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Speaker 1: I became a self made millionaire by age twenty six,

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Speaker 1: I did this by age twenty seven. I had my daughter.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to be a new mom, I wanted to

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Speaker 1: work both. And I remember getting to that point and

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Speaker 1: having this like break down and being like, bit, I've

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Speaker 1: ticked all the boxes and I feel fucking miserable inside.

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Speaker 1: And then I went on this whole healing journey, which

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Speaker 1: is a whole other story. And it's crazy because I

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Speaker 1: have all the same things, but the healing journey was

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Speaker 1: all about accepting myself, working through childhood trauma, working through

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Speaker 1: healing so you know, certain parts of myself and now

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Speaker 1: I am so much more content and happier, and my

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Speaker 1: external hasn't changed. If anything, It's like I have put

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Speaker 1: on the breaks of career driven. I have put on

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Speaker 1: the breaks of certain things because I'm like that shit

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Speaker 1: doesn't actually matter, and often it takes to getting to

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Speaker 1: that pinnacle that like ticking all the things. And then

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Speaker 1: the way I would describe it is I felt quite empty,

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Speaker 1: Like I felt quite but I'm doing all the things,

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Speaker 1: but I don't have the feeling that everyone's talking about.

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Speaker 1: And then I went on a whole healing journey and

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Speaker 1: then like now I have the feeling, and I just

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Speaker 1: see things in such a different way where even choices

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Speaker 1: I make, you know, with my finances, with certain things,

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Speaker 1: like we just move house from this beautiful like ocean

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Speaker 1: view house and we've moved like to acreage, and so

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Speaker 1: many people like, oh, but I'm confused, that was your

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Speaker 1: dream house blah blah blah, And I'm like, yeah, but

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Speaker 1: now I've have a different perception and it's all about

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Speaker 1: how I feel. So if it doesn't make sense to you,

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Speaker 1: that's okay, because you have your own perceptions, you have

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Speaker 1: your own.

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Speaker 2: Thing, and I don't have to explain myself Also, one

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Speaker 2: thing I've really learned is like truly coming to accept

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Speaker 2: in the least malicious way, no one cares about what

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Speaker 2: you're doing in your life. I know that sounds wild,

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Speaker 2: but I feel like when you're stuck in a period

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Speaker 2: and you think like, oh, I can't do this because

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Speaker 2: you know this person's gonna judge me, this person's gonna

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Speaker 2: judge me, whatever. And then as someone who's gone through

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Speaker 2: stuff that, I was like, oh, I'm gonna get eaten alive, Like,

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Speaker 2: especially on social media where there's like hundreds of thousands

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Speaker 2: of people or whatever, you really realize like people don't

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Speaker 2: care that much like they do. And maybe at first

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Speaker 2: you've got to have like a couple of awkward conversations

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Speaker 2: with people or go through like a little bit of adversity,

386
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Speaker 2: but people adapt to your new reality very quickly because

387
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Speaker 2: at the end of the day, they have their own

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Speaker 2: life that they're worrying about and stressing about, and they

389
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:45,960
Speaker 2: don't have the time to think about you as much

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Speaker 2: as you are thinking about you. And I wish, honestly,

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Speaker 2: I had realized that like five six years ago, because

392
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Speaker 2: I spent so long in my life being like I

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Speaker 2: can't do this because of this person's judgment or whatever.

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Speaker 2: And then after going through what I would have described

395
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Speaker 2: a year go as my literal worst nightmare, and then

396
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Speaker 2: like surviving the other side and then being like, you

397
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Speaker 2: know what, that was really hard, but it wasn't what

398
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Speaker 2: I thought it was gonna be. And then I'm like, shit,

399
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Speaker 2: how much stuff have I said? No, I'm not going

400
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Speaker 2: to do that. I'm not going to change because I

401
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:17,879
Speaker 2: was so concerned about someone being like that's you know,

402
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Speaker 2: you can't do that or whatever. At the end of

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Speaker 2: the day, people, most people, I would say ninety five

404
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Speaker 2: percent of people are like, oh, well, if it makes

405
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Speaker 2: you happy, like cool, Like you know, even people knew

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Speaker 2: me personally at first we're a bit like oh, and

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00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,280
Speaker 2: then now they're like yeah, cool, like whatever, like if

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Speaker 2: that makes you happy.

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Speaker 1: Yes, well, you know, even let's take that one step further.

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Speaker 1: So the people who do care, and let's we will

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Speaker 1: chat about like your social media and the feedback that

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Speaker 1: you got because honestly, wild girl.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But even so, the people that care from like a

415
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:52,080
Speaker 1: mindset like shadow work also lens. Yeah, the only reason

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Speaker 1: why they would care is you were reflecting something to

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Speaker 1: them that they don't like. Within themselves. Yes, and once

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Speaker 1: you realize that, and once you realize okay, so there

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00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:06,280
Speaker 1: are people who care, but it's about them, not you,

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Speaker 1: Like it's not about you exactly, it's actually not about you.

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Speaker 2: Really learning that like even that negative thought, that's their

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00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:16,320
Speaker 2: own story and like having to come to the realization

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00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,359
Speaker 2: of like, that's cool. They can think that about me,

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Speaker 2: but they don't have to wake up as me every

425
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,399
Speaker 2: day and they don't have to live as me every day.

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Speaker 2: So like let them think that, Like let them think

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00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:27,840
Speaker 2: that that's cool for them, okay, And what does that

428
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:31,360
Speaker 2: mean for me? Like I think really not giving power

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00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,720
Speaker 2: to thoughts and being like it's literally just a thought

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Speaker 2: of someone else. It's not even my own thought about myself.

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Speaker 2: So why am I giving it so much power over me?

432
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:42,440
Speaker 2: Because at the end of the day, it doesn't really

433
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,560
Speaker 2: affect me or even like you.

434
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:48,200
Speaker 1: Said, it's like that five percent who are judgmental who care,

435
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:51,000
Speaker 1: and it's like, well, we're not giving our attention to

436
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:54,240
Speaker 1: the you know, ninety five percent. Why are we giving

437
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:56,840
Speaker 1: so much attention to the five percent?

438
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:59,199
Speaker 2: I always say this to people when I have this conversation,

439
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:02,280
Speaker 2: and I think it's because negative thoughts are the loudest, right,

440
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:07,560
Speaker 2: So something that's five percent, because negativity is such a

441
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:12,480
Speaker 2: emotive thing and it is such a strong emotion. It

442
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:17,960
Speaker 2: sounds thirty thousand times louder than positivity. Right, So even

443
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,760
Speaker 2: though you have ninety five percent of people who are

444
00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:23,000
Speaker 2: positive cheering you on whatever, the five percent feels like

445
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,520
Speaker 2: one hundred percent. So then you put so much time

446
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,560
Speaker 2: and effort into it. And I actually listened to an

447
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,440
Speaker 2: interview with Tom Holland which was a really weird place

448
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:35,600
Speaker 2: to get like inspirations vitament Biamendu, and he said that

449
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,240
Speaker 2: like the way that he deals with any type of

450
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:42,760
Speaker 2: critique is just realizing that what anyone else thinks about

451
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:46,199
Speaker 2: you that does not know you is not true. And

452
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:49,160
Speaker 2: he was like, positive, it's not true. I don't give

453
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,120
Speaker 2: it any value because they don't know me and they

454
00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:53,159
Speaker 2: aren't me, so they can sit there and be like

455
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 2: you're the best ever, and like I think you're so amazing.

456
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:57,920
Speaker 2: He was like, I give that the same value as

457
00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:01,359
Speaker 2: someone who says something negative. And when I realized that,

458
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 2: it changed my perception on how people perceive me, and

459
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:08,040
Speaker 2: I have now really leant into that of like the

460
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:10,600
Speaker 2: value of a positive word is the same value as

461
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:13,960
Speaker 2: a negative word. It's what I put the value on it,

462
00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:18,120
Speaker 2: not what the other person is thinking. And that has

463
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:21,639
Speaker 2: been really interesting. And I think a really really big

464
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:25,320
Speaker 2: thing to learn is also that pleasing everyone else doesn't

465
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:28,960
Speaker 2: mean that you're going to be pleased, yes, which was

466
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,520
Speaker 2: a really hard thing to learn. So I got diagnosed

467
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:35,000
Speaker 2: with ADHD at the end of last year and then

468
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 2: I'm currently going through my ASD diagnosis. I've had like

469
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:41,480
Speaker 2: a clinical psychologist diagnose me, and then I'm going through

470
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:45,240
Speaker 2: the process of life. Sorry, what is ASD stortism? Oh? Yes, yes,

471
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:49,160
Speaker 2: with your autism spectrum disorder. Yeah. And the biggest thing

472
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:52,080
Speaker 2: learning was that people pleasing is like a really big

473
00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:55,560
Speaker 2: thing of people who have neurodivergence because it's a really

474
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:59,120
Speaker 2: big masking thing. You try and please people to fit in.

475
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:02,479
Speaker 2: It becomes like a survival instinct because you're like, I'm

476
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:04,600
Speaker 2: a bit different, I don't really fit in with everyone else.

477
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,439
Speaker 2: So if I do everything that everyone wants and make

478
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,520
Speaker 2: them really happy, they're going to like me. So it

479
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:12,679
Speaker 2: becomes a very big thing that you do. And I

480
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 2: never understood why I found people pleasing so important and

481
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 2: like it literally dedicated my entire life to just not

482
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:23,280
Speaker 2: looking introspectively at anything that would make me happy and

483
00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:26,080
Speaker 2: putting one hundred percent of my time and energy into

484
00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:27,879
Speaker 2: what is going to make the people around me happy.

485
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:31,520
Speaker 2: And maybe if that happens, I will be accepted and

486
00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:32,240
Speaker 2: then I will be.

487
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,399
Speaker 1: Happy and fit in.

488
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:37,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then so much sin that has been like

489
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:41,240
Speaker 2: unlearning that or realizing like even if I do every

490
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,760
Speaker 2: little thing to make everyone happy, if I'm not happy,

491
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:47,720
Speaker 2: it doesn't matter. And once I realized that, it really changed,

492
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:50,720
Speaker 2: like everything, and like I honestly think a lot of

493
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:53,679
Speaker 2: that came from like once I hit rock bottom and

494
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:55,760
Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, all the horrible things, like the

495
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:57,439
Speaker 2: worst things I thought that could have happened to me

496
00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:00,800
Speaker 2: have happened to me. Like I got postpartum depression. My dog,

497
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:02,679
Speaker 2: who was like my best friend from ten years like

498
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:06,439
Speaker 2: died really suddenly and tragically. My marriage broke down. I

499
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:08,359
Speaker 2: had four hundred dollars to my name, and I moved

500
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:10,000
Speaker 2: out of my home. I was a single mom to

501
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,280
Speaker 2: two kids, which was my biggest worst nightmare because I

502
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:16,040
Speaker 2: grew up with divorced parents and I hated it. I

503
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 2: was like, had no job, prospects other than my social media.

504
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 2: Like I'd been a stay at home mum for four years,

505
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:24,080
Speaker 2: so I had no current references, no current work experience.

506
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 2: I didn't have anyone that I could be like, hey,

507
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,720
Speaker 2: can I have a job with you? So I was like, crap,

508
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:31,720
Speaker 2: I've got to start like generating actual, serious, full time

509
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 2: money out of this social media or I'm quite frankly

510
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,480
Speaker 2: stuffed because I don't have any income. Like I had

511
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:41,680
Speaker 2: all these things where I was like, well, like I'm here,

512
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:44,480
Speaker 2: I'm at the bottom. I was like, I've disappointed everyone.

513
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:46,879
Speaker 2: In my head, I hadn't disappointed anyone, but in my

514
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,400
Speaker 2: people pleasing brain, I was like, I've let everyone down.

515
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:52,639
Speaker 2: Why not try doing it my way? Then? Because I

516
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:55,520
Speaker 2: did everything for everyone and it didn't turn out the

517
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:57,879
Speaker 2: way that I wanted. So let's try this again, but

518
00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:01,560
Speaker 2: do what you want to do. And it is such

519
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:05,360
Speaker 2: a like liberating experience to kind of go through and like,

520
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:07,480
Speaker 2: while I wouldn't wish what I went through on the

521
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:11,400
Speaker 2: worst on my worst enemy, it was also like wow,

522
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 2: I needed all of that to kind of like fall

523
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:18,679
Speaker 2: away for me to realize, hey, like you can do

524
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:20,360
Speaker 2: whatever you want. Because at the end of the day,

525
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:22,399
Speaker 2: like you pleased all those people and you're the one

526
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,239
Speaker 2: that suffered for it. Yeah, why not? You know, if

527
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:28,800
Speaker 2: stuff can change in an instant, why not do what

528
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 2: you want to do, wouldn't you say?

529
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:34,160
Speaker 1: When you start living life on your own terms, it's.

530
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:38,920
Speaker 2: Liberating, so liberating and like so freeing when you also

531
00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:43,000
Speaker 2: this is gonna sound really woo woo. Okay, so before babe,

532
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:47,000
Speaker 2: I know, yeah, this is what I like. Georgie and

533
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 2: I doing podcast swaps, so like she's gonna come into

534
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:51,200
Speaker 2: my podcast next, and this is like something that I

535
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:53,840
Speaker 2: wanted to touch on in my podcast. But like before

536
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,959
Speaker 2: this whole experience of my life, I was not really

537
00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 2: that woo. I was religious. I've always grown up. Really,

538
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,280
Speaker 2: I still believe in like Jesus. I still go to

539
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,800
Speaker 2: church or whatever, but I'd never done any type of

540
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:09,359
Speaker 2: like alternative spirituality. I got really bad postpartum depression with

541
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:13,120
Speaker 2: my youngest after I had her, and I saw this

542
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 2: advertisement of this like Mother's Retreat, which was with another

543
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,680
Speaker 2: influencer in Sydney and her like spiritual life coach, right,

544
00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:22,919
Speaker 2: and it was like at this beautiful lake and it

545
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:24,920
Speaker 2: was like come be with other women for three days

546
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:26,359
Speaker 2: and like we're going to do like all this like

547
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:30,560
Speaker 2: emotional soul work. And honestly, I was so depressed and

548
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,880
Speaker 2: so desperate, like I had like psychiatrists being like, we're

549
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 2: going to have to admit you into like a maternal

550
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 2: mental health ward, like you're very, very depressed, like you've

551
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:41,040
Speaker 2: got severe postpartum depression. And I was like I don't

552
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:42,879
Speaker 2: want to like do that. I can't take my daughters.

553
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:44,480
Speaker 2: I could only take my youngest with me, so my

554
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:46,959
Speaker 2: toddler would have had not had me for like six weeks.

555
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:49,120
Speaker 2: And I was like I was a stay at home mum,

556
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:50,960
Speaker 2: Like being a mum was my whole identity. So for

557
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 2: me to be admitted into a ward was like that

558
00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:55,960
Speaker 2: was the ultimate failure for me. So I was just

559
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,680
Speaker 2: like I can't, I'm not doing that, which in hindsight,

560
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:00,479
Speaker 2: I'm like, maybe I should have just on it, but

561
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:02,520
Speaker 2: I had all these stories in my head telling me

562
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,080
Speaker 2: like you can't do that, you can't admit that you

563
00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:06,920
Speaker 2: need that help. Whatever. I saw this ad for this

564
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,960
Speaker 2: retreat and I was like, well, what have I got

565
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 2: to lose, because like at this point, like I'll try

566
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,680
Speaker 2: anything because I'm like I'm going to a psychiatrists. I'm

567
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:19,040
Speaker 2: going to a psychologist, I'm going doing all these like things.

568
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:22,040
Speaker 2: I'm medicated, I'm this that the other. Let's try this.

569
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 2: I haven't tried this yet, Like let's give it a go.

570
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:26,199
Speaker 2: So I booked the retreat on the spot and it

571
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,439
Speaker 2: was happening like three or four weeks later, and I

572
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,480
Speaker 2: was like, yep, no worries. Anyway, I went to this retreat,

573
00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 2: got there and I was like, ooh, this is very wooo.

574
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:35,040
Speaker 2: Like I was kind of sitting in the first like

575
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:39,119
Speaker 2: like imagining a woman's circle, being like, oh, okay, we're

576
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:42,040
Speaker 2: doing this, like this is really weird, like you know,

577
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:45,000
Speaker 2: like Kelly, who's now like my life coach. But she

578
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:47,439
Speaker 2: was like, you know, testing everyone's areas and like all

579
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:50,680
Speaker 2: this stuff, and I was like, whoa, what is going on? Anyway,

580
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:54,080
Speaker 2: it was like the most incredible retreat, like totally transformed me.

581
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 2: The most beautiful group of women that was like eighteen

582
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 2: of us was the most beautiful group of women. I

583
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:02,560
Speaker 2: had like the best time. And then I was like

584
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 2: talking to Kelly and then she was like, you know,

585
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:05,880
Speaker 2: like if you ever want to like keep doing work

586
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:08,760
Speaker 2: like this, like I do have like some spots available,

587
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 2: and she told me like the price to work with her,

588
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,320
Speaker 2: and my eyeballs nearly fell out my head and I

589
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:17,280
Speaker 2: was like, excuse me, Like that is so expensive. And

590
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:18,760
Speaker 2: then I was like I don't know what I want

591
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:20,640
Speaker 2: to do because I have this feeling like I want

592
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:23,200
Speaker 2: to go do this, but then I'm also like that's

593
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:24,920
Speaker 2: a lot of money and I could be getting scammed

594
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,679
Speaker 2: right now, like this chick could like take this like

595
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 2: lump sum of money for me and I like do nothing.

596
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:32,760
Speaker 2: And again I was just in such I didn't have

597
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 2: the money like that like money, because I was like

598
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:36,879
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't feel like I could take this

599
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 2: from a joint account like from my marriage. So I

600
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:41,760
Speaker 2: was like, this is going to be like my savings

601
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 2: that I'm going to like put into this. I'm a

602
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,200
Speaker 2: said her mum. I wasn't making that much money. So

603
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:46,880
Speaker 2: it was like any money that I did have in

604
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 2: my own account was like very very precious to me. Yes, yes,

605
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:52,640
Speaker 2: because that was my money to spend on whatever I wanted,

606
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:55,000
Speaker 2: no questions asked. And I was like, if I like

607
00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:57,760
Speaker 2: pay this sum, like that's it, Like that's all my

608
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,120
Speaker 2: savings gone, Like what if this just blows up in

609
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:01,880
Speaker 2: my face and I, you know, pee away all that

610
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:05,040
Speaker 2: money that I had spent so long saving art. But

611
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:07,560
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm so desperate, like let's give it

612
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:11,160
Speaker 2: a go. And after doing that work, which is really

613
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:15,040
Speaker 2: just mindset work and a lot of like emotional processing work,

614
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 2: it made me realize how so much power comes from

615
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:23,280
Speaker 2: within and not from the external circumstances around you, which

616
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:26,480
Speaker 2: is so cool to learn but also deeply frustrating because

617
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 2: you're like I had the power the whole time, and

618
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:32,640
Speaker 2: I was like victiming it and blaming it on everything

619
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:35,000
Speaker 2: around me, when it was like, this is coming down

620
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:37,800
Speaker 2: to the way I think, like even simple things I

621
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 2: learned of the idea of like just ask, Like what

622
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 2: do you mean just ask? Like, oh, just ask for

623
00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:45,200
Speaker 2: like ask that person if you want something, just ask

624
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:47,000
Speaker 2: for it. I'm like, no, you can't do that or

625
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:49,320
Speaker 2: ask the universe. Yeah, like just ask And I was

626
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:51,840
Speaker 2: like that's like bullshit or whatever. And then now I've

627
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 2: like gone like I wouldn't say I'm full woo wo,

628
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 2: but I'm like, have put like learnt so much of

629
00:29:56,600 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 2: the power of like how the way you think about

630
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:02,760
Speaker 2: your life and the way you think about yourself can

631
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 2: change so much around you, which is a really cool

632
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:09,120
Speaker 2: like journey to sort of go on.

633
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:11,360
Speaker 1: And don't you think it's interesting that we often have

634
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 1: to get to rock bottom to then be like, ah,

635
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:17,360
Speaker 1: I was, I was the power all that I was,

636
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:20,080
Speaker 1: you know, like I was the key all the time,

637
00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:21,880
Speaker 1: and I had to like go through all this shit.

638
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 1: But also, like, something I think about is if we

639
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:30,760
Speaker 1: were born and like you know, he entered school and

640
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:36,480
Speaker 1: for example, you knew, oh, I was power, I've got everything,

641
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:40,400
Speaker 1: you wouldn't go through anything. You wouldn't have any challenges,

642
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:42,880
Speaker 1: you wouldn't become the person you are. Like, if you

643
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:45,640
Speaker 1: think about it, in the last six months, the amount

644
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:50,560
Speaker 1: of transformation in your emotional intelligence, in your ego, in

645
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:55,880
Speaker 1: the challenges no sorry, the lessons.

646
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 2: You will teach your daughters like the It's like, honestly, you've.

647
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:03,240
Speaker 1: Gone through ten years of self development in six months,

648
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:05,520
Speaker 1: and it sucks that you had to go through a challenge.

649
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 1: But also, like you said, it's kind of it had

650
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:12,080
Speaker 1: to happen that way for whatever reason, your soul has

651
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:13,920
Speaker 1: picked up. That's what I believe. I've got your souls.

652
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:15,680
Speaker 2: I'm not religious, I think as well as just a

653
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 2: stubborn bitch and was like, I'm not learning this lesson.

654
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 2: I refuse to go through this hardship. I'm gonna push push,

655
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:24,200
Speaker 2: push push, And I think like, if it's destined for you,

656
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:26,520
Speaker 2: it's destined for you. And it was like that was

657
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:28,520
Speaker 2: the only way that I could get where I needed

658
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:32,240
Speaker 2: to be, and it Yeah, I just was like, honestly,

659
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 2: I do say that to people when they're like, oh,

660
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,400
Speaker 2: you know, you seem like you've moved so quickly and

661
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:38,360
Speaker 2: blah blah blah. I'm like, I think because I've had

662
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 2: such intense I've done such intense work on myself, Like

663
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:45,560
Speaker 2: I've done more work in the last twelve months on myself.

664
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:47,640
Speaker 2: So six months before I separated and then the six

665
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,720
Speaker 2: months after that, I think then people have done will

666
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:51,760
Speaker 2: do in ten years.

667
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:54,720
Speaker 1: I'm also going to put it out there, I because

668
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:56,560
Speaker 1: I didn't know you had done that work, which is

669
00:31:56,680 --> 00:32:00,320
Speaker 1: first of all incredible, and I'm gonna put it out there.

670
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,800
Speaker 1: But do you think it's a coincidence no, that you

671
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:10,560
Speaker 1: started doing spiritual soul work six months and then your

672
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:14,120
Speaker 1: marriage brokeer? No way, Like I always say this to Kelly,

673
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:17,160
Speaker 1: who I did the work with no Joe, I've just

674
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 1: got full body shivering.

675
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:23,680
Speaker 2: Three weeks before my marriage ended, I had just finished

676
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:27,240
Speaker 2: a finance course with her, right, so I never managed

677
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 2: any of the finances in my marriage. I'd just done

678
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 2: a finance course with her whatever, and then three weeks later,

679
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:38,280
Speaker 2: I like left, my husband, had to become financially independent,

680
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:40,200
Speaker 2: had to do all this stuff. And like her and

681
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:42,400
Speaker 2: I were talking and she's like, there's no way it's

682
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:46,720
Speaker 2: a coincidence. You just did like deep finance mindset work

683
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:50,360
Speaker 2: and got given all the skills you needed to then

684
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 2: go and do this massive finance change in your life.

685
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:54,800
Speaker 2: And to put it in perspective, I did not know

686
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:58,000
Speaker 2: my marriage was ending. There were no signs. I wasn't

687
00:32:58,000 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 2: expecting it. I wasn't like her out of the blue. Yeah,

688
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,880
Speaker 2: came really out of the blue. So like I think

689
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 2: of that all the time, Like I'm like, there's no

690
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 2: way that was a coincidence. Like, and I did like

691
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:10,520
Speaker 2: deep like chakra work and we like unclogged all this stuff,

692
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:13,680
Speaker 2: And I was just like, this is wild. But I

693
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:16,560
Speaker 2: know because listen, like this girl's crazy. But I cannot

694
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 2: stress that you're on the right podect. Before this period,

695
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 2: I did not believe in any of that, like honestly,

696
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:26,360
Speaker 2: even with you. Sometimes I would see your post about manifestation,

697
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:28,640
Speaker 2: I roll my eyes and be like yeah, yeah, whatever.

698
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 2: And then I started doing it and seeing like the

699
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:35,680
Speaker 2: results of like a mindset switch and like letting go

700
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:38,280
Speaker 2: of like external power and being like I actually have

701
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:40,960
Speaker 2: the power to do everything I want in my life.

702
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:43,880
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, I Georgian an apology,

703
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,080
Speaker 2: like she's actually onto something, this chick.

704
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:50,600
Speaker 1: Honestly, I take no offense because I know that's how

705
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:54,760
Speaker 1: a lot of people feel. And it's because and I'm

706
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:57,960
Speaker 1: like careful when I say this. But what I call

707
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:01,680
Speaker 1: it is, before you started doing that in a work,

708
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 1: I call it you were in the matrix, like you

709
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:08,600
Speaker 1: were so in the three D the matrix where again

710
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:11,920
Speaker 1: it's like the society of like A plus B equalcy.

711
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:13,719
Speaker 1: You know this, this is the.

712
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:17,360
Speaker 2: Your shadow self, that's like thing there being like yeah.

713
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:21,080
Speaker 1: And like you got the herm oil underneath. And then

714
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:25,560
Speaker 1: so as soon as you step into this work, it

715
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:28,359
Speaker 1: all has to come to the surface. It all has

716
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:31,719
Speaker 1: to play out. It cannot like you cannot get out

717
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:35,560
Speaker 1: of the matrix and understand the world and understand truly

718
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:39,279
Speaker 1: what's happening in a spiritual sense, and then life be

719
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:42,200
Speaker 1: the same, like it wouldn't. It just doesn't happen. And

720
00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:45,399
Speaker 1: it's funny because I remember when I before I did

721
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:49,400
Speaker 1: spiritual healing work that i'm telling you about before the

722
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:52,480
Speaker 1: guy I did it with, he said, I'm gonna be

723
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 1: very frank with you, and after you do this work,

724
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:58,839
Speaker 1: there is a lot of divorces, There is a lot

725
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:01,640
Speaker 1: of career change. There is a lot of change that

726
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:04,719
Speaker 1: will happen in your reality, and I need to know

727
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:07,320
Speaker 1: if you will be able to deal with that, because

728
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:10,759
Speaker 1: once we start, we can't go back, and you have

729
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:14,240
Speaker 1: to finish this, you know, container with me, because otherwise

730
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 1: it's really bad and you'll be stuck in like the

731
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:20,040
Speaker 1: middle and I'm the void in the void. And so

732
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:24,160
Speaker 1: he said, you like, there's a lot of relationship breakdowns.

733
00:35:24,160 --> 00:35:26,760
Speaker 1: There's a lot of blah blah blah in his clients

734
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:29,759
Speaker 1: that he has, like you know, been through, and he's like,

735
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:33,000
Speaker 1: I need you to realize that this is an actual thing.

736
00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:34,759
Speaker 2: And it's funny because at the time I.

737
00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:37,200
Speaker 1: Was like, yeah, yeah, And then I went through it

738
00:35:37,239 --> 00:35:39,160
Speaker 1: and me and Tim actually went through a lot of

739
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:43,799
Speaker 1: marital sort of you know, things we had to deal

740
00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:49,840
Speaker 1: with that were super uncomfortable and very uncertain. There was

741
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:51,719
Speaker 1: actually points in my marriag where I was like, I

742
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:54,399
Speaker 1: don't know if we'll be together. Yeah, And so now

743
00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:56,759
Speaker 1: we have come out the other end, and you know,

744
00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:59,319
Speaker 1: we obviously are having a second baby, and I have

745
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:03,759
Speaker 1: decided that, you know, future together. But I just love

746
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,160
Speaker 1: that you brought that up because I think once you

747
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:12,360
Speaker 1: start opening up to truly again not just being in

748
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:15,319
Speaker 1: a life that society has set for you, and you

749
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:20,200
Speaker 1: start looking inwards and you start getting curious, your reality

750
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:21,319
Speaker 1: has to reflect that.

751
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:22,919
Speaker 2: Well, it kind of goes off what I was saying

752
00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:25,920
Speaker 2: before of like when I had paid all that money

753
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:28,280
Speaker 2: and I'd been like, Okay, I'm gonna do this work

754
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:31,760
Speaker 2: now really came down to surrendering and just being like, well,

755
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:33,600
Speaker 2: if you're gonna like I got to a point where

756
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,000
Speaker 2: I was like, I've paid this lump sum. If I'm

757
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,960
Speaker 2: gonna pay this lump sum and it's everything that is

758
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:41,000
Speaker 2: my own that I've saved or whatever, I might as

759
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,319
Speaker 2: well give it everything i've got, like and say that

760
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:46,520
Speaker 2: I did my all to like embrace it. And also

761
00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:48,719
Speaker 2: I just had to tell myself, it's gonna be uncomfortable,

762
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:50,839
Speaker 2: you're gonna be scared, you're not gonna like doing it.

763
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:52,879
Speaker 2: Probably like the first few sessions, I was like, this

764
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:55,560
Speaker 2: is fucking weird like stuff that I'm doing here, and

765
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:58,480
Speaker 2: you know, she's getting me to be like like breathe

766
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 2: out like negative emotions, like really weird, kooky stuff. And

767
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:04,440
Speaker 2: I was like, just surrender, Just do it, Just give

768
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:06,920
Speaker 2: it everything you can. Stop trying to fight it. If

769
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:10,040
Speaker 2: you feel, like I told myself in every session, don't

770
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:12,640
Speaker 2: overthink the answers to questions she's asking. As soon as

771
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:14,920
Speaker 2: it pops in your head, just let it out and

772
00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:17,520
Speaker 2: don't think, oh, that was a silly answer or whatever.

773
00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:20,759
Speaker 2: I was like, just truly surrender, and it was the

774
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:23,719
Speaker 2: biggest learning to then be like, Okay, you can do

775
00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:26,040
Speaker 2: that in that sense, you can do that in every sense.

776
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,440
Speaker 2: Just surrender and speak what speak your mind, or like,

777
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:31,800
Speaker 2: let that thing happen to you. If it's gonna happen,

778
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,000
Speaker 2: there's nothing you can do to change it. Just let

779
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 2: it happen and go with it. Because you are wasting

780
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:40,840
Speaker 2: so much time and so much energy resisting, resisting, resisting

781
00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:43,719
Speaker 2: because you're afraid or you're embarrassed or you know, you're

782
00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:47,480
Speaker 2: trying to prevent something from happening. And it was just

783
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:50,520
Speaker 2: like such a learning of like just do it, just

784
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:54,640
Speaker 2: let it happen and go with the flow, because you

785
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:57,160
Speaker 2: are giving it more power by giving it all that

786
00:37:57,360 --> 00:37:59,560
Speaker 2: energy and doing all that stress and putting all that

787
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:01,279
Speaker 2: emotion like I don't want this, I don't want this,

788
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:04,560
Speaker 2: I don't want this. Then sometimes just surrendering and letting

789
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:06,960
Speaker 2: it happen. And that doesn't mean I'm sitting here being

790
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,200
Speaker 2: like oh, you know, because sometimes when you go through

791
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 2: a really shit thing and someone's like, oh that was

792
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:14,600
Speaker 2: you know, that was God's plan for you, or like

793
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:16,560
Speaker 2: that was meant to happen. Yeah, sometimes you can sit

794
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 2: there and be like, no, actually, fuck you. That was

795
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:20,920
Speaker 2: really hard and I didn't deserve that and that was

796
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 2: shitty and that made me feel crap, and you know

797
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 2: I could have gone without that, and you know what,

798
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:28,440
Speaker 2: maybe I didn't want to learn that lesson, Like I

799
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:30,880
Speaker 2: think that's really valid, and I still have moments like

800
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 2: when people try and be like, oh, you know, like

801
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:35,759
Speaker 2: that was so meant for you, I'm like yes, but

802
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:38,040
Speaker 2: also no, like no one's meant to go through like

803
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:40,680
Speaker 2: extreme suffering like that, or like you know, like as

804
00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:42,759
Speaker 2: well as people who lose like a loved one or

805
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:45,160
Speaker 2: something like that, Like don't ever sit there and tell

806
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 2: them like, this is what's meant for you. But also

807
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:50,279
Speaker 2: it's like, Okay, it's happening to you. Whether it was

808
00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:52,920
Speaker 2: meant to happen to you or not, it is, so

809
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:55,359
Speaker 2: surrender to it and see what you can learn from it,

810
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 2: because the other option is you stay angry, you stay jaded,

811
00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:02,479
Speaker 2: you stay bitter, and the result is still the same.

812
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 2: That thing still happens to you either way. And once

813
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:07,640
Speaker 2: I kind of switched to that mindset, I learned so

814
00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:09,280
Speaker 2: much and grew so much.

815
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:13,000
Speaker 1: Wow, Like I didn't even know that you went through that.

816
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:21,400
Speaker 1: That is so incredible. I'm so proud of you. I

817
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:23,040
Speaker 1: love this so much, and I want to kind of

818
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:27,440
Speaker 1: bring it back to you on the rebuilding journey because,

819
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:30,360
Speaker 1: like you said, I think you've hit the nail on

820
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:34,279
Speaker 1: the head where that really is everyone's I think that's

821
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:39,760
Speaker 1: like most women's worst fear, you know, divorce, single mom.

822
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:42,520
Speaker 1: Can you talk to us about the rebuilding Obviously you've

823
00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:47,480
Speaker 1: spoken on like the deeper healing work, the surrendering. What

824
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:51,759
Speaker 1: sort of other is the more like tangible things that

825
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:54,880
Speaker 1: you can kind of give advice to someone who is

826
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:58,160
Speaker 1: maybe going through something similar or just like a really

827
00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:01,320
Speaker 1: really hard challenge right now that has helped you. Because

828
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:04,680
Speaker 1: I'm even looking in and obviously this is only my projection,

829
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:07,840
Speaker 1: I'm not living the experience, but I feel like you

830
00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:12,520
Speaker 1: have processed this quite fast, and like I even see

831
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:14,880
Speaker 1: you like you're thriving, like you look amazing, Like I

832
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:19,080
Speaker 1: can see in your appearance like that you're doing really well.

833
00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:21,759
Speaker 1: And even the words you're saying, like I'm like, holy shit,

834
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:25,360
Speaker 1: she's really fucking processing is fast in a six month period.

835
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:29,000
Speaker 1: And then but again, I truly believe someone will only

836
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:33,120
Speaker 1: process fast when they're leaning completely in. So such a

837
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:36,960
Speaker 1: testament to you. Yeah, but like the tangible things that

838
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:40,719
Speaker 1: have helped you rebuild get your spark back, What would

839
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:42,160
Speaker 1: you say to someone going through it?

840
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:47,280
Speaker 2: I would say, first up, stop get rid of any

841
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:50,480
Speaker 2: five year plan, ten year plan, out of the in

842
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:54,240
Speaker 2: that been that right now, especially like obviously not forever,

843
00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:57,600
Speaker 2: but while you're going through like a huge period of

844
00:40:57,719 --> 00:41:00,759
Speaker 2: change and turmoil, get rid of that out of your brain,

845
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:03,920
Speaker 2: because it's not gonna be helpful it's gonna put so

846
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 2: much external pressure on yourself. It's gonna really fuck with

847
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:09,880
Speaker 2: your internal dialogue because you're thinking, I have to be

848
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 2: here in you know, five years, but all this stuff

849
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:15,680
Speaker 2: is happening. I got rid of everything and I literally

850
00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:18,400
Speaker 2: broke it down to today, what do I have to

851
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:21,520
Speaker 2: do today? Like, genuinely, I would not even be like

852
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:23,480
Speaker 2: people because at first, when my husband and I separated,

853
00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:25,879
Speaker 2: We're like, we're taking six months, and then people would

854
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:27,600
Speaker 2: be like, well, what's gonna happen at the end of

855
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:29,359
Speaker 2: the six months, And I'm like, I don't know. I'm

856
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 2: not there yet. I'm doing today, and when I get

857
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:33,520
Speaker 2: to the end of the six months, I can make

858
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:37,200
Speaker 2: that decision. But I'm like, there's no point because six

859
00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:39,720
Speaker 2: months ago, I didn't even know this was a reality

860
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:41,800
Speaker 2: that could have happened to me. So why am I

861
00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:43,680
Speaker 2: going to waste so much time and energy going there

862
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:45,880
Speaker 2: not saying that like I don't have goals or dreams

863
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:49,480
Speaker 2: for my life, but right now I'm doing it. Okay,

864
00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:51,799
Speaker 2: there's no pressure. Yes, I'm like, let's just get through

865
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:55,080
Speaker 2: this period and then we can go back to that,

866
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:58,600
Speaker 2: which is honestly the most Like even some days there

867
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,360
Speaker 2: would be days where I would be like, let's do

868
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:03,880
Speaker 2: hour by hour, like because I'm a very anxious person

869
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:07,600
Speaker 2: that I can try and pre plan and like future project,

870
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:10,480
Speaker 2: and yeah, I had to learn like you need to

871
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:12,600
Speaker 2: stop that right now because you don't have the energy

872
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:15,399
Speaker 2: for that right now. Let that go. Don't stop trying

873
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:17,279
Speaker 2: to do that and stop trying to control that. Just

874
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:21,280
Speaker 2: break it down to really edible, bite sized sort of pieces.

875
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:24,960
Speaker 2: The next thing that I really had to learn was like,

876
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:28,440
Speaker 2: stop trying to push the negative emotions down, which is

877
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 2: something I'm really, really, really good at. Like I said,

878
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 2: I'm no I'm getting diagnosed with autism. And the thing

879
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:38,279
Speaker 2: that flagged with my clinical psychologists for her to even

880
00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:41,080
Speaker 2: test me for it was like, you're really bad at

881
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:44,920
Speaker 2: processing any emotion that's not just like happiness or She's like,

882
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:48,600
Speaker 2: you have an emotional spectrum of happy, sad, angry, and

883
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:51,160
Speaker 2: like nothing in between. She's like, you really suck at

884
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:56,279
Speaker 2: dealing with like gray emotions like melancholy or like nostalgia,

885
00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 2: or like emotions that it's like it's not really one thing,

886
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:03,640
Speaker 2: or that it's like kind of a blend of multi emotions.

887
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:05,160
Speaker 1: Like you almost can't hold duality.

888
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:07,439
Speaker 2: Yes, Like I would just be like, oh, that thing

889
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 2: that happened to me that was sad, and then she's like, well,

890
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:13,160
Speaker 2: but it could have like elements of happiness or elements

891
00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:15,680
Speaker 2: of anger, or elements of grief, and I just could

892
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:18,320
Speaker 2: not process the emotions. Like I was very black and white,

893
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:22,920
Speaker 2: which meant when I feel negative emotions, I will instead

894
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:25,560
Speaker 2: choose to feel nothing because I don't really deal well

895
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:29,279
Speaker 2: with dealing with negative emotions, like very non confrontational, very

896
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:32,719
Speaker 2: rarely get angry. Like those things were very scary to me,

897
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:35,239
Speaker 2: and a big thing that I had to learn was like,

898
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:38,040
Speaker 2: the only thing that that will result in is burnout

899
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:41,760
Speaker 2: because to suppress emotions takes like three times the amount

900
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:44,480
Speaker 2: of energy then to just feel the emotion and to

901
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:46,400
Speaker 2: just allow yourself to be like, what I'm feeling is

902
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:47,600
Speaker 2: valid and I can feel it.

903
00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:48,759
Speaker 1: And it always comes up.

904
00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:50,840
Speaker 2: Oh it does, even if it comes up in a

905
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:53,160
Speaker 2: way that you didn't realize that it's coming up. It

906
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:56,400
Speaker 2: always comes up. And also the thing is it always

907
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:59,439
Speaker 2: comes up and it's not going to just go away

908
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:03,359
Speaker 2: because you're not putting time and energy into it. And

909
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:06,560
Speaker 2: also in the age of like social media, you really

910
00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:09,680
Speaker 2: are told like, if you're negative about things, if you're

911
00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:13,520
Speaker 2: this like positive mindset, stuff is great. But sometimes people

912
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:15,480
Speaker 2: can take it too far and like you always have

913
00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:19,280
Speaker 2: to be positive, positive, yeah, but like they don't realize

914
00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:22,160
Speaker 2: that sometimes part of a positive mindset is processing the

915
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 2: negative emotions to leave room for the positivity. I think

916
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:27,719
Speaker 2: a lot of people have all the room taken up

917
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:30,040
Speaker 2: by like anger, sadness, grief, whatever, and then they just

918
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 2: try and like squash the positivity on top without realizing

919
00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:35,279
Speaker 2: to have room for that, you have to deal with

920
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:37,400
Speaker 2: everything else that's in there. So I went through this

921
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:40,319
Speaker 2: period where I was like I'm gonna be sad, I'm

922
00:44:40,320 --> 00:44:43,279
Speaker 2: going to cry in my bed all day, and like

923
00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:46,839
Speaker 2: I started asking myself like really scary questions that I'd

924
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:49,560
Speaker 2: always avoided, Like my therapist. I was like, you know,

925
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:51,759
Speaker 2: I'm just so exhausted and I just feel like giving up.

926
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:54,319
Speaker 2: And then my therapists would be like, okay, well why

927
00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:57,080
Speaker 2: don't you give up? I'd be like sorry, She's like, well,

928
00:44:57,360 --> 00:44:59,560
Speaker 2: what would that look like? What would that look like

929
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:01,480
Speaker 2: if you just turned around today and you're like I'm

930
00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:03,920
Speaker 2: going to give up? Why don't you feel that feeling

931
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:06,480
Speaker 2: and think about it? And actually process what that would

932
00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:08,440
Speaker 2: look like for you and how that would make you feel,

933
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:12,000
Speaker 2: rather than just like saying it as a concept, think

934
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,200
Speaker 2: about it genuinely go to that place, because I think

935
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:15,439
Speaker 2: a lot of us will be like, oh, I don't

936
00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:16,920
Speaker 2: even want to like touch that emotion.

937
00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:18,560
Speaker 1: I can't I can't go that.

938
00:45:18,719 --> 00:45:19,800
Speaker 2: I don't want to go there. I don't want to

939
00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:21,640
Speaker 2: think about that. Or she'd be like, you know, why

940
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:23,480
Speaker 2: don't you just take a day and cry all day

941
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:25,640
Speaker 2: in bed and see what happens at the end of

942
00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:28,840
Speaker 2: the day. And like that was a really that sounds

943
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:32,400
Speaker 2: so simple, That was so that's so deep. It was

944
00:45:32,440 --> 00:45:35,080
Speaker 2: so transformational to me to just be like, Okay, what

945
00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:38,839
Speaker 2: if I just allow myself to be negative? What if

946
00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:41,120
Speaker 2: I just allow myself to cry? What if I allow

947
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:43,799
Speaker 2: myself to be angry? What if I allow myself to

948
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:46,719
Speaker 2: just do these emotions and get them out and then

949
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:49,239
Speaker 2: give myself a period of like, Okay, for a day,

950
00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:50,920
Speaker 2: I'm going to be sad and I'm not going to

951
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:52,880
Speaker 2: work and I'm not going to do anything. I'm just

952
00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:54,600
Speaker 2: gonna lay in my bed and cry and read a

953
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:56,840
Speaker 2: book and do nothing and just do it for a

954
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:58,920
Speaker 2: day and see what the result is, and then you

955
00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 2: go to bed, comes up the next morning and you're like, oh, okay,

956
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:05,439
Speaker 2: well the ladder, what am I going to do today? Now?

957
00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:07,839
Speaker 2: Like that was done. I did that. The world didn't end.

958
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:10,719
Speaker 2: I survived, I processed the emotions. It didn't kill me.

959
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:12,919
Speaker 2: All right, let's move on to the next thing now.

960
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:16,080
Speaker 2: And like once I kind of realized that, I then

961
00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:19,120
Speaker 2: started to have like healthy processing of emotion. And I

962
00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:23,879
Speaker 2: think it is so scary to actually do the things

963
00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:25,839
Speaker 2: of like I'm gonna give up, I'm gonna cry, i'm

964
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 2: gonna fall apart, I'm gonna have a breakdown, and then

965
00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:29,880
Speaker 2: when you do it and you come out the other end,

966
00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:32,279
Speaker 2: you're like, okay, cool. So that was that just the

967
00:46:32,280 --> 00:46:34,120
Speaker 2: same as like when you have a super happy day,

968
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:36,359
Speaker 2: the happy day ends and you wake up the next

969
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:38,879
Speaker 2: morning when you start again, it's the exact same thing.

970
00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:41,120
Speaker 2: And that was a really cool thing to do. So

971
00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:43,719
Speaker 2: they're the two main things. And then the third thing,

972
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:47,719
Speaker 2: if it is you know, a financial option, get professional help.

973
00:46:48,719 --> 00:46:49,120
Speaker 1: Amen.

974
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:51,680
Speaker 2: Amen is a big thing I say to people because

975
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:55,360
Speaker 2: it's like you can mindset, diet, exercise, do all the

976
00:46:55,360 --> 00:46:58,160
Speaker 2: fun stuff things as much as you want acupuncture, sauna,

977
00:46:58,280 --> 00:47:01,759
Speaker 2: all those like alternative things. Sometimes at the end of

978
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:03,480
Speaker 2: the day, you need a professional to come in and

979
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:06,520
Speaker 2: help you. And if you do have the funds to

980
00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:09,319
Speaker 2: do it, there's nothing wrong in saying, no, I need help,

981
00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:12,279
Speaker 2: no I need medication, I need a professional to talk

982
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:15,440
Speaker 2: me through this. I need to do the work. And

983
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:18,080
Speaker 2: that's okay. And I always say that to people as well,

984
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:21,600
Speaker 2: like you can do every single alternative therapy in the world,

985
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:25,399
Speaker 2: but at the end of the day, scientifically, sometimes when

986
00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:29,400
Speaker 2: you're really distressed, you're really depressed whatever, your brain goes

987
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:32,360
Speaker 2: into fight or flight and when you're in that stage,

988
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:35,520
Speaker 2: it's actually physically impossible for your brain to take on

989
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:39,080
Speaker 2: new information. So you can be trying all these other things.

990
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:42,080
Speaker 2: Your brain has got a massive brick wall around it,

991
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:44,880
Speaker 2: being like I can't learn anything new right now. I

992
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:47,919
Speaker 2: can't take on any new information. So you're doing this stuff,

993
00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:50,840
Speaker 2: You're pummeling yourself with self care and all these things,

994
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:52,799
Speaker 2: and at the end of the day, it's like you

995
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:56,040
Speaker 2: need to go and get professional help or someone to

996
00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:58,080
Speaker 2: help you to get you to a space that then

997
00:47:58,120 --> 00:48:01,200
Speaker 2: you can do all these alternate things. And I think

998
00:48:01,239 --> 00:48:04,399
Speaker 2: that's really important whenever I'm sharing the journey that I've

999
00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:06,000
Speaker 2: gone through. For me to not just sit here and

1000
00:48:06,040 --> 00:48:08,840
Speaker 2: be like, oh yeah, I had someone like do reiki

1001
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:11,000
Speaker 2: on me and I was cured. It's like no, no, no,

1002
00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:15,520
Speaker 2: I'm also medicated. I got an eurodivergent diagnosis. I see

1003
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:19,280
Speaker 2: a psychiatrist, I see a psychologist, and I do alternative healing.

1004
00:48:20,080 --> 00:48:23,680
Speaker 2: It's sort of like a quadruple pronged effect. And I

1005
00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:26,319
Speaker 2: think that's important to say to people as well, is

1006
00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:29,879
Speaker 2: like we are not meant to know everything, and that's

1007
00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:33,000
Speaker 2: why people are professionals in their job to help you.

1008
00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:36,839
Speaker 1: I love that you point that out, and I think

1009
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:39,759
Speaker 1: it's well. When you were talking, something that came to

1010
00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 1: mind was a lot of people ask like, oh, you

1011
00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:45,200
Speaker 1: were successful so fast in business.

1012
00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:45,960
Speaker 2: What did you do?

1013
00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:50,160
Speaker 1: And it's funny because this six months before I even

1014
00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:56,120
Speaker 1: started Naked Harvest. I hired a business like mindset coach

1015
00:48:56,600 --> 00:49:00,480
Speaker 1: who had created a seven figure business and we just

1016
00:49:00,719 --> 00:49:04,880
Speaker 1: did mindset work and it cost me sixty thousand dollars,

1017
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:08,640
Speaker 1: which sorry forty thousand US, which like I didn't have.

1018
00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 1: And I'm like, well, I wanted a successful, you know, business,

1019
00:49:14,560 --> 00:49:19,160
Speaker 1: so I just went straight to the professional who could

1020
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:24,080
Speaker 1: give me the identity work, the mindset work, everything, because

1021
00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:26,600
Speaker 1: that's what I wanted. And so people will pay for

1022
00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:29,640
Speaker 1: that with like, you know, business or whatnot. But what

1023
00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:32,320
Speaker 1: they also don't know is then that was the only

1024
00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:35,600
Speaker 1: business coach I've ever had, and anyone after that has

1025
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:40,000
Speaker 1: been pure mindset mental health. And that's how I've been

1026
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:43,280
Speaker 1: able to like move through life. And I'm like, I

1027
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:46,560
Speaker 1: never think I have it figured out. I never think

1028
00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:50,040
Speaker 1: even though I teach other people self development and mindset,

1029
00:49:50,520 --> 00:49:55,720
Speaker 1: I'm still now continuously going to professionals because you should

1030
00:49:55,800 --> 00:49:58,480
Speaker 1: always be evolving and progressing. And a lot of the

1031
00:49:58,520 --> 00:50:01,399
Speaker 1: time we will go to p professionals when we are

1032
00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:04,879
Speaker 1: like a broken rock bottom or like we really really

1033
00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:08,000
Speaker 1: want something. But what you need to understand is it

1034
00:50:08,040 --> 00:50:11,479
Speaker 1: should be a continuous thing to be like a well

1035
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:15,840
Speaker 1: rounded human and to continuously like progress and evolve. And

1036
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:18,160
Speaker 1: of course it's not going to always be like to

1037
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:20,839
Speaker 1: the amount because I can understand, like it would be

1038
00:50:20,880 --> 00:50:23,200
Speaker 1: taking a lot for you to see all these people

1039
00:50:23,239 --> 00:50:25,360
Speaker 1: and a lot of money and whatnot, and it's not

1040
00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:26,960
Speaker 1: always at that standard.

1041
00:50:27,239 --> 00:50:30,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, But I just truly believe we.

1042
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:32,480
Speaker 1: Should always be looking for help. We should always be

1043
00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:36,160
Speaker 1: relying on other people and seeking out that professional help

1044
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:38,879
Speaker 1: because we don't know it all well.

1045
00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:41,279
Speaker 2: It also like going through that experience and paying the

1046
00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:44,479
Speaker 2: money for it has made me so passionate about being

1047
00:50:44,520 --> 00:50:47,560
Speaker 2: like why is this not more accessible to people? Like

1048
00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:50,960
Speaker 2: why can we have access to so many other things?

1049
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:54,440
Speaker 2: But like psychology is not on Medicare, psychology is not

1050
00:50:54,480 --> 00:50:57,600
Speaker 2: claimable on private health either. Like there's literally nothing.

1051
00:50:57,640 --> 00:50:58,839
Speaker 1: Either as a mindset coach.

1052
00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:01,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, like you get, yeah, you get, you get ten

1053
00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:04,280
Speaker 2: sessions on a mental health plan, but it's not even free,

1054
00:51:04,440 --> 00:51:07,080
Speaker 2: like it's you still got to pay gap and like

1055
00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:09,600
Speaker 2: ten sessions is not even one session a month. Yeah,

1056
00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:12,880
Speaker 2: Like if you've got actual complex mental health issues like

1057
00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:15,000
Speaker 2: I had postpartum depression, that's not just like oh I

1058
00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:18,240
Speaker 2: feel sad, Like that's a really complex mental health issue,

1059
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:20,839
Speaker 2: you still can't even do yeah a session a month,

1060
00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:23,000
Speaker 2: and it's like when you have When I had postpartum depression,

1061
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:25,480
Speaker 2: I was going once a week. So it's been something

1062
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:28,520
Speaker 2: that's really like made me quite passionate around the idea

1063
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:31,560
Speaker 2: of like why is that so expensive and why aren't

1064
00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:34,279
Speaker 2: we prioritizing it more and making it more accessible to

1065
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:39,000
Speaker 2: a larger audience of people because it is so transformative

1066
00:51:39,120 --> 00:51:42,120
Speaker 2: and it is so helpful, and I think doing stuff

1067
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:44,000
Speaker 2: like I always explained to people, like what's the difference

1068
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:46,560
Speaker 2: between your life coach and your psychologist? And I'm like,

1069
00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:49,040
Speaker 2: it's different in the way of like with my psychologists

1070
00:51:49,080 --> 00:51:51,480
Speaker 2: we talk about the way I feel, and with my

1071
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:53,720
Speaker 2: life coach and the work she sort of does around

1072
00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:57,840
Speaker 2: like emotional healing. It's how those emotions show up physically,

1073
00:51:58,239 --> 00:52:00,680
Speaker 2: either in my life or in my body, and that's

1074
00:52:00,719 --> 00:52:03,759
Speaker 2: where they kind of like work together to access it.

1075
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:04,520
Speaker 2: On all sides.

1076
00:52:04,719 --> 00:52:07,759
Speaker 1: It's almost like the first thing is actual awareness and

1077
00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:10,080
Speaker 1: then it's like the actual processing.

1078
00:52:10,239 --> 00:52:12,920
Speaker 2: Yes is that yes? Yeah, yeah, And I found that

1079
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:16,880
Speaker 2: like really really helpful. But yeah, there is a massive

1080
00:52:17,360 --> 00:52:19,680
Speaker 2: financial barrier to those things and it is such a

1081
00:52:19,719 --> 00:52:23,560
Speaker 2: privilege to be able to do it. But I also,

1082
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:27,920
Speaker 2: since leaving my husband, had to prioritize financially. Okay, I'm

1083
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:30,120
Speaker 2: going to cut other things because this is so important

1084
00:52:30,120 --> 00:52:31,960
Speaker 2: to me that I've got to find the money somewhere.

1085
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:35,000
Speaker 1: Well, that's what I want to bring up because one

1086
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:38,319
Speaker 1: hundred percent, it should be more accessible, it should be

1087
00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:41,560
Speaker 1: more available, But I do want to counter that with

1088
00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:46,520
Speaker 1: I don't think people prioritize that they will. For example,

1089
00:52:46,560 --> 00:52:49,640
Speaker 1: I speaking to a girlfriend who wants to, you know,

1090
00:52:49,719 --> 00:52:51,680
Speaker 1: get a coach and whatnot. She's like, well, I just

1091
00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:54,120
Speaker 1: don't have the money. And I'm like, babe, I know

1092
00:52:54,239 --> 00:52:56,600
Speaker 1: for a fact the amount of money you spend on

1093
00:52:56,760 --> 00:53:00,000
Speaker 1: facials and beauty appointments, and obviously that's not the same

1094
00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:03,279
Speaker 1: like a single mum, but I'm like you just for me,

1095
00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:07,080
Speaker 1: for example, having that beach business coach, It's like I

1096
00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:09,319
Speaker 1: didn't have the money, it was the only thing I

1097
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:12,400
Speaker 1: could do, but it was such a priority. And I

1098
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:14,279
Speaker 1: think a lot of the time, like for example, my

1099
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:17,440
Speaker 1: mom and dad, mental health wasn't spoken about. Yeah, Like

1100
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:20,120
Speaker 1: it was like you're happy, you're sad, and also if

1101
00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:22,239
Speaker 1: you're sad, don't talk to me about it. And I

1102
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:25,640
Speaker 1: think in society there has not been a lot of

1103
00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:28,440
Speaker 1: importance on our mental health.

1104
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:30,840
Speaker 2: So when people like, oh, what I have I have

1105
00:53:30,960 --> 00:53:33,839
Speaker 2: to pay for this? Yeah, I was like, yes, you'd

1106
00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:35,919
Speaker 2: do when it's really.

1107
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:39,400
Speaker 1: Important and it should be not only more accessible and cheaper,

1108
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:41,880
Speaker 1: but it also should be a priority.

1109
00:53:42,040 --> 00:53:44,359
Speaker 2: I think a lot of that can also come down

1110
00:53:44,400 --> 00:53:46,200
Speaker 2: to though, like the way that we had taught about

1111
00:53:46,239 --> 00:53:50,040
Speaker 2: mental health in society and also the fear and stigma

1112
00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:53,240
Speaker 2: that comes around dealing with mental health. Like some people

1113
00:53:53,280 --> 00:53:56,160
Speaker 2: will like, there genuinely are people out there who can't

1114
00:53:56,200 --> 00:53:58,279
Speaker 2: even afford to put groceries on the table, right, So

1115
00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:01,200
Speaker 2: of course they're like the people they physically.

1116
00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:01,520
Speaker 1: Cannot got to eat.

1117
00:54:01,680 --> 00:54:05,000
Speaker 2: Yes, if I cannot find the money anywhere, like I'm stuffed.

1118
00:54:05,280 --> 00:54:07,960
Speaker 2: But then there's also people who, you know, they've been

1119
00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:10,560
Speaker 2: told their whole lives, like, you know, it's weird. People

1120
00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:13,399
Speaker 2: go to therapy and it's scary and it's uncomfortable.

1121
00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:16,160
Speaker 1: When I told my parents like five years ago that

1122
00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:18,839
Speaker 1: I was going because I did therapy for probably three

1123
00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:23,560
Speaker 1: years straight, they literally were like, but you're so fine,

1124
00:54:23,680 --> 00:54:26,000
Speaker 1: Like we raised you so well, why do you need

1125
00:54:26,040 --> 00:54:28,360
Speaker 1: to go to therapy like you had the best childhood.

1126
00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:33,600
Speaker 2: Well, when you have those stigmas associated with it, and

1127
00:54:33,640 --> 00:54:36,600
Speaker 2: then you're telling someone who is really you know, living

1128
00:54:36,640 --> 00:54:39,719
Speaker 2: paycheck to paycheck and is struggling to them, be like, no,

1129
00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:42,280
Speaker 2: actually cut something out of your life that you really

1130
00:54:42,400 --> 00:54:45,080
Speaker 2: enjoy and brings you a slither of joy and put

1131
00:54:45,080 --> 00:54:47,520
Speaker 2: it towards this thing that you've been told your whole

1132
00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:50,279
Speaker 2: life only freaks do and it's really scary and it's

1133
00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:53,440
Speaker 2: comfortable and you're not gonna like it and whatever. Like,

1134
00:54:53,600 --> 00:54:57,120
Speaker 2: of course people are gonna be like, I get very

1135
00:54:57,160 --> 00:54:59,480
Speaker 2: few luxuries as it is, and now I've got to

1136
00:54:59,520 --> 00:55:01,800
Speaker 2: pay all my money that I get to put towards

1137
00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:04,879
Speaker 2: anything for me that I like towards doing therapy. Well,

1138
00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:06,520
Speaker 2: of course people are gonna be like, I'm not fucking

1139
00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:09,000
Speaker 2: doing that, like, and that makes so much sense to

1140
00:55:09,040 --> 00:55:11,600
Speaker 2: me when you like frame it that way, which is

1141
00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:13,799
Speaker 2: why I also like do so much of my time

1142
00:55:13,840 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 2: online explaining to women like, it is so okay to

1143
00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:20,520
Speaker 2: be struggling. Doesn't make your freak, it doesn't make you weird.

1144
00:55:20,920 --> 00:55:23,880
Speaker 2: Go and get therapy, like, you will be so grateful

1145
00:55:23,920 --> 00:55:26,239
Speaker 2: for it. And the sooner you start, the sooner you

1146
00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:28,439
Speaker 2: get to the end. And that's a big thing where

1147
00:55:28,440 --> 00:55:30,600
Speaker 2: I'm like, I know it's scary, and I know you

1148
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:32,719
Speaker 2: feel like you don't have money, and I know you

1149
00:55:32,760 --> 00:55:34,719
Speaker 2: feel like you're going to have to sacrifice the very

1150
00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:36,879
Speaker 2: few luxuries you have in like a cost of living

1151
00:55:36,920 --> 00:55:40,279
Speaker 2: crisis where things are already tight, But trust me, it.

1152
00:55:40,239 --> 00:55:40,839
Speaker 1: Would be the best.

1153
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:44,080
Speaker 2: It's worth it, trust me, Like if you can, if

1154
00:55:44,120 --> 00:55:46,160
Speaker 2: you are not at the point where you're like, we

1155
00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:48,360
Speaker 2: can't even pay groceries. Like, if you have a spare

1156
00:55:48,719 --> 00:55:51,880
Speaker 2: fifty dollars a week, spend six months saving up that

1157
00:55:51,920 --> 00:55:56,319
Speaker 2: fifty dollars to do therapy. I promise you you will

1158
00:55:56,320 --> 00:55:59,160
Speaker 2: not regret it and it will not be like wasted

1159
00:55:59,200 --> 00:56:01,799
Speaker 2: money at all. But it's so hard, and you can

1160
00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:07,480
Speaker 2: understand why people feel absolutely apprehensive about starting it totally.

1161
00:56:07,600 --> 00:56:13,439
Speaker 1: And that's like, I also think people need to get

1162
00:56:13,520 --> 00:56:15,640
Speaker 1: And it's like even what you're saying, how like you'd

1163
00:56:15,640 --> 00:56:17,520
Speaker 1: see some of my content and like, you know, roll

1164
00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:20,279
Speaker 1: your eyes. I think people need to get to a

1165
00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:24,560
Speaker 1: certain spot in their life for something to be relevant

1166
00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:27,160
Speaker 1: and for something to be a priority. And like we said,

1167
00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:29,560
Speaker 1: like it does suck that it has to be rock bottom,

1168
00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:31,960
Speaker 1: and for you it had to be literally your whole

1169
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:35,600
Speaker 1: world crashing down. But now that you've done it, you're like,

1170
00:56:35,680 --> 00:56:38,040
Speaker 1: oh my god, I you know, this is amazing. I

1171
00:56:38,080 --> 00:56:40,120
Speaker 1: want to scream it to the world. And so it

1172
00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:43,920
Speaker 1: does really suck that sometimes it has to be rock bottom,

1173
00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:47,840
Speaker 1: or sometimes someone just has to be really ready. And

1174
00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:50,080
Speaker 1: what I say with like therapy or mindset work or

1175
00:56:50,120 --> 00:56:54,480
Speaker 1: anything like that you can never push someone to go

1176
00:56:54,560 --> 00:56:58,080
Speaker 1: and do it because let's say you know your brother's

1177
00:56:58,239 --> 00:57:01,080
Speaker 1: an addict and he's gone going through whatnot, and you're like,

1178
00:57:01,120 --> 00:57:02,480
Speaker 1: I'll pay your therapy, I'll do.

1179
00:57:02,480 --> 00:57:05,040
Speaker 2: It, unless you have to want to help yourself.

1180
00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:07,279
Speaker 1: Unless he wants to help himself and he's ready for

1181
00:57:07,320 --> 00:57:10,359
Speaker 1: the awareness and he's ready for it, it's not even

1182
00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:14,440
Speaker 1: going to work. And so it is very sad that

1183
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:18,840
Speaker 1: like some people will never really get to that place

1184
00:57:19,040 --> 00:57:23,040
Speaker 1: or have that realization because they do truly believe it's

1185
00:57:23,080 --> 00:57:26,920
Speaker 1: like for this work to work, you need to be

1186
00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:27,600
Speaker 1: ready for it.

1187
00:57:27,840 --> 00:57:29,720
Speaker 2: You have to I like have said to a lot

1188
00:57:29,720 --> 00:57:32,320
Speaker 2: of people around like self work, you have to literally

1189
00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:35,800
Speaker 2: chuck your ego in the min and like let go

1190
00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:40,120
Speaker 2: of everything everything you knew, so humble and just be like, Okay,

1191
00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:44,400
Speaker 2: I'm coming to you like a chakra work. Yeah, like

1192
00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:46,960
Speaker 2: you're coming to like I am a worm, Like I

1193
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:49,880
Speaker 2: am not going like build me back up. And but

1194
00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:51,960
Speaker 2: that's really hard to do, Like that's really hard to

1195
00:57:51,960 --> 00:57:54,040
Speaker 2: be like let that go, let that ego go, like

1196
00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:57,000
Speaker 2: even the ego of being like getting to the point

1197
00:57:57,160 --> 00:57:59,720
Speaker 2: of like being like I'm not okay, I'm actually really

1198
00:57:59,720 --> 00:58:03,080
Speaker 2: fun struggling. That takes so much to like stand there

1199
00:58:03,120 --> 00:58:08,200
Speaker 2: to people and actually wholeheartedly admit, hey, I'm really not

1200
00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:11,640
Speaker 2: doing okay. Is such a scary and hard thing to do, like,

1201
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:15,000
Speaker 2: and that's the thing where it's like the person has

1202
00:58:15,120 --> 00:58:17,560
Speaker 2: to be ready to do it themselves and you have

1203
00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:20,080
Speaker 2: to take those scary steps otherwise you're just not gonna

1204
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:21,880
Speaker 2: get to a point where you're gonna it's gonna like

1205
00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:25,840
Speaker 2: actually set in because you need to strip away yeah,

1206
00:58:25,880 --> 00:58:28,640
Speaker 2: everything else. Otherwise it's just like you are literally peeing

1207
00:58:28,680 --> 00:58:30,200
Speaker 2: money up the wall and just being like it's not

1208
00:58:30,240 --> 00:58:31,919
Speaker 2: gonna work. Like you have to get to a point,

1209
00:58:31,960 --> 00:58:34,320
Speaker 2: like I was saying before when I did the course,

1210
00:58:34,400 --> 00:58:36,280
Speaker 2: I was just like, well, I've paid all this money,

1211
00:58:36,400 --> 00:58:40,160
Speaker 2: like I got to go into this full chest one

1212
00:58:40,240 --> 00:58:43,720
Speaker 2: hundred percent. Otherwise I am just gonna be wasting yes lumps.

1213
00:58:44,760 --> 00:58:47,720
Speaker 2: And that is really really hard and takes a lot

1214
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:50,320
Speaker 2: of yeah, humbleness to be like okay, like I'm just

1215
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:52,800
Speaker 2: gonna swallow everything in my head that's saying this is

1216
00:58:52,840 --> 00:58:55,280
Speaker 2: silly and this is stupid and this will never work

1217
00:58:55,600 --> 00:58:57,640
Speaker 2: and just being like just give it a go and see.

1218
00:58:57,680 --> 00:59:00,480
Speaker 2: And that takes because it's a risk because known you're

1219
00:59:00,520 --> 00:59:03,120
Speaker 2: not guaranteed a result at the end, So that's the

1220
00:59:03,160 --> 00:59:03,720
Speaker 2: scary bit.

1221
00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:06,240
Speaker 1: It is scary, and also because a lot of it

1222
00:59:06,280 --> 00:59:08,760
Speaker 1: relies on how much you show up, and a lot

1223
00:59:08,800 --> 00:59:13,240
Speaker 1: of people don't have that confidence in themselves. All right,

1224
00:59:13,280 --> 00:59:15,880
Speaker 1: my love, I'm going to ask you one last question.

1225
00:59:16,240 --> 00:59:19,520
Speaker 1: And this has been an amazing conversation, by the way, Yeah,

1226
00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:20,640
Speaker 1: it's really stimulated me.

1227
00:59:20,760 --> 00:59:23,120
Speaker 2: I've really enjoyed it. For sure, I could talk forever,

1228
00:59:23,240 --> 00:59:24,680
Speaker 2: but we're still going to your.

1229
00:59:26,920 --> 00:59:30,520
Speaker 1: Something I just want to quickly touch on is the

1230
00:59:30,680 --> 00:59:35,160
Speaker 1: comments that you get on TikTok. Like I follow you

1231
00:59:35,240 --> 00:59:37,880
Speaker 1: on TikTok, love your content, and I remember once it

1232
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:40,800
Speaker 1: was because you had like replied to a comment, so

1233
00:59:40,840 --> 00:59:46,400
Speaker 1: I like press the comments and I was literally baffled.

1234
00:59:47,560 --> 00:59:50,400
Speaker 1: What some people comment to you and what some people

1235
00:59:50,440 --> 00:59:54,880
Speaker 1: think they have the right to have an opinion about

1236
00:59:54,920 --> 00:59:57,160
Speaker 1: your life or how you're processing or how you're doing

1237
00:59:57,160 --> 00:59:59,560
Speaker 1: something is so wild. And then I like one on

1238
00:59:59,640 --> 01:00:02,120
Speaker 1: a bit of thing of like checking out your other comments,

1239
01:00:02,280 --> 01:00:06,160
Speaker 1: and I just want to say, you should be so

1240
01:00:06,360 --> 01:00:10,720
Speaker 1: proud of how you show up on social media, the

1241
01:00:10,840 --> 01:00:14,440
Speaker 1: criticism and judgment you hold and deal with because like,

1242
01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:17,920
Speaker 1: and it kind of seems like other moms if I'm

1243
01:00:17,920 --> 01:00:18,760
Speaker 1: getting it right.

1244
01:00:18,680 --> 01:00:21,920
Speaker 2: Well, my audience is ninety six percent female, so it

1245
01:00:21,960 --> 01:00:25,200
Speaker 2: makes sense. Yes, And so it's like, I just want

1246
01:00:25,240 --> 01:00:28,160
Speaker 2: to say, such a testament to the work you've done

1247
01:00:28,160 --> 01:00:31,120
Speaker 2: and who you are, because honestly, I was like looking

1248
01:00:31,120 --> 01:00:33,640
Speaker 2: there and I was like, if people this fucking judgmental

1249
01:00:33,760 --> 01:00:35,920
Speaker 2: to me, I don't know how I would feel. So,

1250
01:00:36,120 --> 01:00:38,640
Speaker 2: first of all, I know probably not on that level,

1251
01:00:38,720 --> 01:00:41,960
Speaker 2: but anyone going through a big life change, the judgments

1252
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:45,120
Speaker 2: and criticisms is so much and I'd love for you

1253
01:00:45,160 --> 01:00:47,200
Speaker 2: to kind of just finish on the advice for someone

1254
01:00:47,280 --> 01:00:51,680
Speaker 2: going through it, just because you've like yeah, on social media,

1255
01:00:51,720 --> 01:00:52,680
Speaker 2: I was like, that's a.

1256
01:00:52,560 --> 01:00:55,640
Speaker 1: Bit much like, yes, I hope you're blocking people.

1257
01:00:55,880 --> 01:00:59,680
Speaker 2: Well, this is the thing that I so many creators

1258
01:00:59,720 --> 01:01:02,640
Speaker 2: are like, you're fucking insane because I very rarely block

1259
01:01:02,680 --> 01:01:05,520
Speaker 2: and delete. I leave a lot your face is like,

1260
01:01:05,680 --> 01:01:10,080
Speaker 2: excuse me, I leave a lot of the negative discourse up. Obviously,

1261
01:01:10,280 --> 01:01:11,920
Speaker 2: if it goes to a place of it being like

1262
01:01:12,040 --> 01:01:15,320
Speaker 2: absolutely appropriate, futrid and bile, yes, those people get blocked

1263
01:01:15,320 --> 01:01:18,360
Speaker 2: and deleted, or if it's just like them constantly constantly, constantly,

1264
01:01:18,400 --> 01:01:19,840
Speaker 2: I might like, okay, okay.

1265
01:01:19,600 --> 01:01:21,479
Speaker 1: D obsess me, but my page.

1266
01:01:21,520 --> 01:01:25,080
Speaker 2: I've never been never been afraid of negative discourse or

1267
01:01:25,160 --> 01:01:28,760
Speaker 2: hidden it because I think there is so much learning

1268
01:01:29,200 --> 01:01:33,040
Speaker 2: in dealing with negative judgments or even letting people see

1269
01:01:33,160 --> 01:01:37,800
Speaker 2: negativity against you. I think it shows people like I

1270
01:01:37,840 --> 01:01:41,040
Speaker 2: think it's very common for creators, and it's I would say,

1271
01:01:41,040 --> 01:01:43,080
Speaker 2: by and large, the done thing to delete and block

1272
01:01:43,160 --> 01:01:47,080
Speaker 2: negative opinions. But then it makes people sometimes think when

1273
01:01:47,120 --> 01:01:50,320
Speaker 2: they view something that you know, everyone else in life

1274
01:01:50,440 --> 01:01:52,480
Speaker 2: is making these big changes and doing these big things

1275
01:01:52,480 --> 01:01:55,480
Speaker 2: and they're not getting any negative pushback, and then they're

1276
01:01:55,520 --> 01:01:57,040
Speaker 2: trying to do the same thing and they're like, why

1277
01:01:57,120 --> 01:01:59,120
Speaker 2: is everyone in my life being such a ce next

1278
01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:01,560
Speaker 2: Tuesday about doing X, Y and Z. So I do

1279
01:02:01,680 --> 01:02:04,360
Speaker 2: leave it up sometimes to show people the reality, the

1280
01:02:04,400 --> 01:02:07,800
Speaker 2: reality of sometimes doing hard things or changing things is like, yes,

1281
01:02:07,880 --> 01:02:10,600
Speaker 2: you have to deal with negative backlash and push through.

1282
01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:12,920
Speaker 2: I also think there's a lot of learning that can

1283
01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:18,600
Speaker 2: come from me in negativity. Also, I feel like it's

1284
01:02:18,640 --> 01:02:20,800
Speaker 2: really great to like touch on I think being women,

1285
01:02:21,520 --> 01:02:23,640
Speaker 2: I definitely have learned in the last six months that

1286
01:02:23,680 --> 01:02:28,720
Speaker 2: internalized misogyny is alive and well in Australian women, absolutely

1287
01:02:29,120 --> 01:02:33,960
Speaker 2: so so so fascinating to watch the me and my

1288
01:02:34,120 --> 01:02:38,040
Speaker 2: X husband go through the exact same situation and the vast,

1289
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:41,840
Speaker 2: vast differences in his comment section versus my comment section,

1290
01:02:42,080 --> 01:02:43,920
Speaker 2: and the only difference is he has a penis and

1291
01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:48,520
Speaker 2: I do not, which is really really frustrating to endure

1292
01:02:48,680 --> 01:02:54,800
Speaker 2: and see. I think people get very triggered watching someone

1293
01:02:55,360 --> 01:02:57,920
Speaker 2: do hard things and survive because it goes against them,

1294
01:02:58,360 --> 01:03:01,360
Speaker 2: standing up the narrative they've told themselves of I have

1295
01:03:01,440 --> 01:03:05,840
Speaker 2: to accept this because if I don't accept the shitty behavior, yes,

1296
01:03:05,920 --> 01:03:08,720
Speaker 2: if I don't, and that's in everything, that's not just

1297
01:03:08,760 --> 01:03:11,120
Speaker 2: in a relationship, like I have to accept this lot

1298
01:03:11,120 --> 01:03:14,840
Speaker 2: in life because there's no other option. And people who

1299
01:03:14,880 --> 01:03:17,680
Speaker 2: feel really trapped in that when they see someone not

1300
01:03:17,840 --> 01:03:20,720
Speaker 2: accepting that, going against it, doing the hard work and

1301
01:03:20,760 --> 01:03:23,000
Speaker 2: coming out the other end, that triggers the fuck out

1302
01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:25,120
Speaker 2: of them because they're like, hang on a minute, no,

1303
01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:27,560
Speaker 2: because then I can't just tell myself I have to

1304
01:03:27,600 --> 01:03:29,959
Speaker 2: accept what is happening to me in life. I can't

1305
01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:32,840
Speaker 2: just be the victim, because you're showing me in real

1306
01:03:32,920 --> 01:03:35,920
Speaker 2: time that I can choose another option, and there's always

1307
01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:38,640
Speaker 2: another choice, and I hate that because that doesn't make

1308
01:03:38,640 --> 01:03:40,880
Speaker 2: me feel good about myself and the choices that I'm

1309
01:03:40,920 --> 01:03:44,520
Speaker 2: making in my own life. Which actually that response makes

1310
01:03:44,560 --> 01:03:47,640
Speaker 2: me the saddest because I'm like, I share those things

1311
01:03:47,680 --> 01:03:49,720
Speaker 2: to show you there is another option. So it makes

1312
01:03:49,720 --> 01:03:52,840
Speaker 2: me really sad when it makes people feel like, oh, like,

1313
01:03:52,880 --> 01:03:55,600
Speaker 2: I don't like that because it makes me feel bad

1314
01:03:55,600 --> 01:03:58,200
Speaker 2: about the choice I am choosing. That's never the intention.

1315
01:03:58,440 --> 01:04:01,000
Speaker 2: It's to show like, hey, like you can be vulnerable,

1316
01:04:01,040 --> 01:04:02,800
Speaker 2: you can be honest to people around you. You can

1317
01:04:02,840 --> 01:04:05,640
Speaker 2: say I'm not doing well. I failed at this, this sucked.

1318
01:04:05,720 --> 01:04:08,400
Speaker 2: This was a really hard period, and that's okay. You

1319
01:04:08,440 --> 01:04:11,840
Speaker 2: can share all of that stuff and keep on keeping on.

1320
01:04:12,040 --> 01:04:14,320
Speaker 2: I think it's also really cool to show, you know.

1321
01:04:14,360 --> 01:04:16,760
Speaker 2: A big thing on social media is the struggle Olympics, right,

1322
01:04:17,080 --> 01:04:20,360
Speaker 2: especially TikTok. It has a real thing of you will

1323
01:04:20,360 --> 01:04:23,200
Speaker 2: share something hard, and it's the worst platform for someone

1324
01:04:23,320 --> 01:04:25,880
Speaker 2: being like, yeah, but there's also this person doing this

1325
01:04:25,960 --> 01:04:28,240
Speaker 2: and it's like I've got it harder. Yes, And that

1326
01:04:28,280 --> 01:04:30,800
Speaker 2: can get really exhausting to deal with as well. And

1327
01:04:30,840 --> 01:04:33,840
Speaker 2: I think it's a reason why I've never stopped showing

1328
01:04:34,160 --> 01:04:37,480
Speaker 2: my heart is to really just push, like you don't

1329
01:04:37,520 --> 01:04:41,760
Speaker 2: have to be like in a homeless shelter with one

1330
01:04:41,840 --> 01:04:44,720
Speaker 2: cent to your name to be going through a hard time.

1331
01:04:44,800 --> 01:04:47,840
Speaker 2: Anyone can go through hard times at any time. And

1332
01:04:47,880 --> 01:04:50,680
Speaker 2: also everyone does go through hard times, you know, Like

1333
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:53,800
Speaker 2: I think we get put in this mindset of like

1334
01:04:54,120 --> 01:04:56,120
Speaker 2: no one else is going through hard times, it's just me.

1335
01:04:56,520 --> 01:04:59,160
Speaker 2: Or A really big thing I found in social media

1336
01:04:59,360 --> 01:05:01,800
Speaker 2: is people will about the hard times in retrospect and

1337
01:05:01,840 --> 01:05:05,120
Speaker 2: they'll make like one fifteen second video about it, and

1338
01:05:05,320 --> 01:05:07,400
Speaker 2: every day Joe is looking at that video being like,

1339
01:05:07,760 --> 01:05:09,680
Speaker 2: oh I went through a time like that. Oh you

1340
01:05:09,760 --> 01:05:12,000
Speaker 2: sorted that in a fifteen second video. Why am I

1341
01:05:12,200 --> 01:05:14,560
Speaker 2: still in the Why have I been going through this

1342
01:05:14,560 --> 01:05:16,560
Speaker 2: for a year? Then, and you did all of that

1343
01:05:16,640 --> 01:05:18,280
Speaker 2: behind the scenes. I never even saw any of it,

1344
01:05:18,320 --> 01:05:20,400
Speaker 2: and then you've made this like summary video and now

1345
01:05:20,480 --> 01:05:24,080
Speaker 2: everything's like fine and andy. So sometimes I'm like, despite

1346
01:05:24,120 --> 01:05:26,840
Speaker 2: the negativity, I think it's really healthy to show people

1347
01:05:27,160 --> 01:05:29,960
Speaker 2: like hard times can last and hard times can go

1348
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:32,600
Speaker 2: on for a while, and it's not something that you

1349
01:05:32,600 --> 01:05:35,480
Speaker 2: can just wake up and fix. And so sometimes I

1350
01:05:35,520 --> 01:05:37,200
Speaker 2: feel bad and I'm like, oh God, I don't want

1351
01:05:37,200 --> 01:05:39,400
Speaker 2: to come online and be like, hey, everything's still a

1352
01:05:39,440 --> 01:05:41,720
Speaker 2: mess over here. But then other times I'm like this

1353
01:05:41,760 --> 01:05:44,800
Speaker 2: is so normal, like it's actually just realize yes, like

1354
01:05:44,840 --> 01:05:47,240
Speaker 2: this is just the reality of it, and like this

1355
01:05:47,320 --> 01:05:50,600
Speaker 2: is normal emotions that people go through. And I think

1356
01:05:50,640 --> 01:05:53,840
Speaker 2: sometimes by showing up or even letting people see the

1357
01:05:53,920 --> 01:05:57,160
Speaker 2: stigma that goes against expressing negative parts of your life

1358
01:05:57,560 --> 01:06:01,680
Speaker 2: almost destigmatizes it. And I really hope that like one person,

1359
01:06:01,800 --> 01:06:04,000
Speaker 2: Like I always say this, if one person goes through

1360
01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:06,560
Speaker 2: a hard time and thinks, oh, well, you know, like

1361
01:06:06,640 --> 01:06:09,120
Speaker 2: I saw that girl on social media do the same thing,

1362
01:06:09,160 --> 01:06:10,520
Speaker 2: and I saw she got through it and I can

1363
01:06:10,520 --> 01:06:12,520
Speaker 2: get through it, then I'm happy. I just need one

1364
01:06:12,560 --> 01:06:15,040
Speaker 2: person for it to resonate to, and I'm like that's

1365
01:06:15,160 --> 01:06:17,720
Speaker 2: enough for me. Like I don't need everyone to love

1366
01:06:17,800 --> 01:06:20,480
Speaker 2: me all the time. No, I would rather make an

1367
01:06:20,520 --> 01:06:24,800
Speaker 2: impact on one person and be vulnerable and actually authentic

1368
01:06:24,840 --> 01:06:27,440
Speaker 2: to me then be like wishy washy and have everyone

1369
01:06:27,480 --> 01:06:31,560
Speaker 2: love me. And I think that has really been what

1370
01:06:31,600 --> 01:06:35,360
Speaker 2: I've told myself my entire journey online of like just

1371
01:06:35,480 --> 01:06:38,920
Speaker 2: be you and accept not everyone's gonna like you, and

1372
01:06:38,960 --> 01:06:42,120
Speaker 2: it's going to trigger people watching you be you, because

1373
01:06:42,280 --> 01:06:44,720
Speaker 2: not many people do that and that's okay. It doesn't

1374
01:06:44,800 --> 01:06:47,600
Speaker 2: matter because if you make a difference to a small

1375
01:06:47,640 --> 01:06:49,600
Speaker 2: group of people, that's enough for you. And I think

1376
01:06:49,600 --> 01:06:51,360
Speaker 2: that really comes down to on social media, people like

1377
01:06:51,400 --> 01:06:53,000
Speaker 2: how do you do it? Like, I think it really

1378
01:06:53,040 --> 01:06:55,760
Speaker 2: comes down to your why and understanding, like.

1379
01:06:55,920 --> 01:06:58,439
Speaker 1: And that's your why. So that makes complete sense, hmm.

1380
01:06:58,760 --> 01:07:02,280
Speaker 2: But it is rough in saying this. There is days fucked.

1381
01:07:02,360 --> 01:07:02,600
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1382
01:07:02,680 --> 01:07:05,320
Speaker 2: There is days where I will call my best comments

1383
01:07:05,520 --> 01:07:08,480
Speaker 2: so I was like, are these people okay, what's happening?

1384
01:07:08,680 --> 01:07:10,400
Speaker 2: I will call my best friend in tears and be

1385
01:07:10,480 --> 01:07:12,680
Speaker 2: like I can't do this, or like call my therapist

1386
01:07:12,760 --> 01:07:15,600
Speaker 2: in tears and be like, you know, like it is hard,

1387
01:07:15,640 --> 01:07:18,160
Speaker 2: Like it's not like I'm like happy, positive about it

1388
01:07:18,200 --> 01:07:22,000
Speaker 2: all the time. But I just try and remember, why

1389
01:07:22,080 --> 01:07:23,920
Speaker 2: are you doing it? And I always say to people

1390
01:07:24,080 --> 01:07:27,840
Speaker 2: because of the amount of hate I yet I definitely

1391
01:07:27,840 --> 01:07:30,720
Speaker 2: am not in social media for the money, because no

1392
01:07:30,800 --> 01:07:34,160
Speaker 2: amount of money could justify that. I'm in it for

1393
01:07:34,200 --> 01:07:36,840
Speaker 2: the thing of like I love talking to women and

1394
01:07:36,880 --> 01:07:38,760
Speaker 2: I love helping women, and that's why I show up

1395
01:07:38,760 --> 01:07:40,880
Speaker 2: every day Because you could pay me a million dollars

1396
01:07:40,880 --> 01:07:42,600
Speaker 2: and I wouldn't freaking sit and cop some of the

1397
01:07:42,600 --> 01:07:45,040
Speaker 2: stuff that I cop every day. Yeah, it's not about that,

1398
01:07:45,080 --> 01:07:47,120
Speaker 2: and that's not what fills me up and lights me up.

1399
01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:49,280
Speaker 2: So that's how I try and deal with it.

1400
01:07:49,920 --> 01:07:54,400
Speaker 1: I love that you're so self aware and it's so beautiful. No,

1401
01:07:54,520 --> 01:07:57,360
Speaker 1: it is because I think even you clarifying and being like, well,

1402
01:07:57,400 --> 01:08:00,480
Speaker 1: this is my why, and a not a lot of

1403
01:08:00,520 --> 01:08:02,760
Speaker 1: people even have a why. They don't have a purpose,

1404
01:08:02,760 --> 01:08:05,120
Speaker 1: they don't have that. So for me to hear that,

1405
01:08:05,120 --> 01:08:08,960
Speaker 1: that's incredible that you've been able to process that and

1406
01:08:09,000 --> 01:08:09,760
Speaker 1: move through that too.

1407
01:08:09,920 --> 01:08:13,200
Speaker 2: I feel like identifying your why is so important to

1408
01:08:13,280 --> 01:08:16,040
Speaker 2: do it, and like money can be your why. That's

1409
01:08:16,080 --> 01:08:18,880
Speaker 2: so fine off literally, especially as a woman. I want

1410
01:08:18,880 --> 01:08:21,040
Speaker 2: to make that really clear. You are allowed to have

1411
01:08:21,120 --> 01:08:23,360
Speaker 2: money be your why. Men have done it for generations

1412
01:08:23,400 --> 01:08:25,599
Speaker 2: and generations and no one said fuck all about it.

1413
01:08:25,640 --> 01:08:27,320
Speaker 2: So if you want your why to be I want

1414
01:08:27,320 --> 01:08:29,800
Speaker 2: to be rich and have money, it slay queen. But

1415
01:08:29,880 --> 01:08:33,400
Speaker 2: I think like you need to identify what is it

1416
01:08:33,720 --> 01:08:36,240
Speaker 2: and then make decisions from there. Yeah, and then so

1417
01:08:36,280 --> 01:08:38,960
Speaker 2: once you are so zoned in on that, the rest

1418
01:08:39,000 --> 01:08:39,840
Speaker 2: is kind of white noise.

1419
01:08:40,000 --> 01:08:42,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, you just and that's well, that's the main thing.

1420
01:08:42,400 --> 01:08:45,040
Speaker 1: Is like, well, the money can be the why, so

1421
01:08:45,080 --> 01:08:47,080
Speaker 1: then don't fucking worry about the comments because it's literally

1422
01:08:47,160 --> 01:08:47,599
Speaker 1: your money.

1423
01:08:47,600 --> 01:08:50,200
Speaker 2: Literally, that's what I mean. And it's just identifying what

1424
01:08:51,439 --> 01:08:53,680
Speaker 2: is the purpose and why you're doing it, and the

1425
01:08:53,720 --> 01:08:55,759
Speaker 2: second you have that, it's a lot easier.

1426
01:08:56,320 --> 01:08:59,280
Speaker 1: I love that so much. Bella, thank you so much

1427
01:08:59,320 --> 01:09:01,920
Speaker 1: for coming on the show. So thank you being me amazing.

1428
01:09:02,320 --> 01:09:04,960
Speaker 1: We are now going to do a podcast on Bella's podcast,

1429
01:09:05,040 --> 01:09:07,400
Speaker 1: so go and check that out all linked in the

1430
01:09:07,400 --> 01:09:11,640
Speaker 1: show notes if it's live. But where can everyone find you?

1431
01:09:11,640 --> 01:09:13,000
Speaker 1: You know, get on board with everything?

1432
01:09:13,080 --> 01:09:16,559
Speaker 2: Yeah, so across pretty much every platform. It's Bell's Messina,

1433
01:09:16,720 --> 01:09:20,719
Speaker 2: so b E double ls and Messina like the ice cream. Yeah,

1434
01:09:20,800 --> 01:09:24,719
Speaker 2: I would love to have people over. I love yapping

1435
01:09:24,920 --> 01:09:29,040
Speaker 2: and sharing and I love new perspectives and like, I

1436
01:09:29,120 --> 01:09:32,080
Speaker 2: really pride myself on being super interactive. So if anyone's

1437
01:09:32,120 --> 01:09:35,479
Speaker 2: listening to this and anything resonates with you, please dm me.

1438
01:09:35,680 --> 01:09:37,519
Speaker 2: I would love to chat. Yeah, I would love to

1439
01:09:37,640 --> 01:09:39,960
Speaker 2: yap to you about We could chat for hours.

1440
01:09:40,040 --> 01:09:43,400
Speaker 1: O good. Yeah, thank you so much, my love, no worries.

1441
01:09:43,720 --> 01:09:46,200
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to this episode of

1442
01:09:46,240 --> 01:09:49,280
Speaker 1: the Rise and Conquer podcast. If you enjoyed it and

1443
01:09:49,439 --> 01:09:53,160
Speaker 1: want more, connect with us via Instagram or continue the

1444
01:09:53,240 --> 01:09:57,800
Speaker 1: conversation on our beautiful Facebook community page. All the details,

1445
01:09:57,800 --> 01:10:00,160
Speaker 1: earn the show notes, and I'd love to hear more

1446
01:10:00,160 --> 01:10:03,640
Speaker 1: about your journey. Also, we're an independent podcast with a

1447
01:10:03,800 --> 01:10:07,200
Speaker 1: small but mighty team, so we really do appreciate your support.

1448
01:10:07,280 --> 01:10:10,120
Speaker 1: If you have a spare moment, please click the follow

1449
01:10:10,280 --> 01:10:13,559
Speaker 1: or subscribe button to the podcast, and if you leave

1450
01:10:13,560 --> 01:10:16,920
Speaker 1: a review, you'll help other people find our content and

1451
01:10:17,240 --> 01:10:18,559
Speaker 1: we would be so grateful.