WEBVTT - False Assumptions We Use To Our Advantage  🤪

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<v Speaker 1>Plead on Flex and Frooms. Flex and Frooms. This is

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<v Speaker 1>the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Ladies and gentlemen, It's time for Flexi's Big Question of

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<v Speaker 2>the Week.

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<v Speaker 3>We have had a week of Flexi's Big Questions.

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<v Speaker 1>We do them weekly.

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<v Speaker 3>It goes off basically, I pose a question that gets

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<v Speaker 3>you to think deeply about who you are, why you

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<v Speaker 3>are that way, what you think and why you think it,

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<v Speaker 3>and also who is influencing the way that you think.

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<v Speaker 3>The most recent question I pose was what's the misconception

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<v Speaker 3>that people make about you that you use to your advantage?

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<v Speaker 3>And the reason why I asked that is because a

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<v Speaker 3>lot of times we can feel a bit hard done

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<v Speaker 3>by by the way that we're perceived by others, But

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<v Speaker 3>I think there are a few gaps in that that

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<v Speaker 3>actually work to our favor. So I asked you to

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<v Speaker 3>respond via the little box on our Instagram story. A

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<v Speaker 3>bunch of you did. I'm We're going through and read

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<v Speaker 3>some of the not the best answers, just some of

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<v Speaker 3>the answers. Brooks says, Uni everyone thought I was dumb,

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<v Speaker 3>felt bad, and gave me their materials.

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<v Speaker 1>I got honors. I love that. Kraud says that I'm

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<v Speaker 1>a scary, mean girl.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm just a serious, resting heat face, and that means

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<v Speaker 3>people leave me alone. BB says that I'm quiet, but

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<v Speaker 3>I'm taking in data points and observations of my surroundings.

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<v Speaker 3>Lenn says that I'm white and just really tanned, but

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<v Speaker 3>I'm half Kenyans white privilege. Ashley says people see who

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<v Speaker 3>I'm younger than I am. People ask for my mom

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<v Speaker 3>if they come to my house, but realistically, I'm a

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<v Speaker 3>mum of two.

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<v Speaker 1>I can't relate. I love that.

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<v Speaker 3>Lana says that I'm rude and antisocial. I'm actually really friendly,

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<v Speaker 3>but I like it. I could just keep that to myself.

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<v Speaker 3>This person who doesn't have a name here says people

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<v Speaker 3>always perceive me to not know things. If there's tea,

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<v Speaker 3>I played dumb to hear it from all sides. Ooh,

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<v Speaker 3>I love that. Thank you for submitting. And to everyone

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<v Speaker 3>who I didn't read out, I'm reading it in the flesh.

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<v Speaker 3>I have it on my phone.

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<v Speaker 1>I see it.

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<v Speaker 3>But we're giving a limit of time on air, so

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<v Speaker 3>must do with that what we will talk to us?

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<v Speaker 3>Miss Reena, what is a misconception people have about you

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<v Speaker 3>that you used to your advantage.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, oh that I have music taste.

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<v Speaker 1>The story is going to come out one time I

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<v Speaker 1>told this story yet on it. Oh you you've You've

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<v Speaker 1>told it.

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<v Speaker 3>When you're pretending to be someone else, just know every

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<v Speaker 3>now and then, when Frem.

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<v Speaker 1>Tells stories, they're actually her.

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<v Speaker 3>And depending on how Mickey and I respond or don't respond,

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<v Speaker 3>you will know.

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<v Speaker 1>That we don't want to be caught up gonna lie.

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<v Speaker 1>There will be saying, oh.

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<v Speaker 5>My god, what's a misconception that I'm working class? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 5>a few months of me perhaps was playing, but I

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<v Speaker 5>think people people think I'm a private school girl. Once

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<v Speaker 5>they dropped the receipts of me going to the same

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<v Speaker 5>was Jermaine private school girl, there was no denying that

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<v Speaker 5>tuition money had been spent.

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<v Speaker 3>That's an interesting thing I think a lot of people

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<v Speaker 3>have about how we all grew up. Like when I

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<v Speaker 3>say I'm from Sydney's East, everyone thinks.

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<v Speaker 1>I was super rich. But I did live in Housing Commission,

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<v Speaker 1>so it wasn't there.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, it was a house, but it's still Housing

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<v Speaker 3>Commission a house in They had to come by to

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<v Speaker 3>come by, And I would much rather if people think

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<v Speaker 3>that I was privileged and bougie.

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<v Speaker 1>Than the old turner because I hate a sub story.

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<v Speaker 1>I really do.

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<v Speaker 3>No offense everyone, damn. I don't like the way sub

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<v Speaker 3>stories are weaponized. I think that people are really intentional

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<v Speaker 3>with what they share and how they share it, and

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<v Speaker 3>I think that we don't have a culture of being

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<v Speaker 3>open and vulnerable and communicative naturally. So when people muster

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<v Speaker 3>up this really concise narrative in all the ways that

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<v Speaker 3>they've been hard done by expecting a very specific response

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<v Speaker 3>from the person they're telling it too, more is like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 3>enjoy your storytelling.

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<v Speaker 1>It's always good to practice.

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<v Speaker 4>That would be mine, But I'm coming to terms with

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<v Speaker 4>it being rich.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, we all have our personal shruggles, and it's about

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<v Speaker 3>time that somebody really held space for theives, because it's

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<v Speaker 3>come to a point where even the richest among us

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<v Speaker 3>don't feel safe to express themselves and like through me

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<v Speaker 3>and like Victoria Beckham. You know, people say, oh, Victoria

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<v Speaker 3>Beckham didn't come from a working class family because she

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<v Speaker 3>was driven to school every day in a Rolls Royce.

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<v Speaker 3>But to that, I say, on behalf of frugh me

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<v Speaker 3>that there are different struggles.

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<v Speaker 1>There are different struggles, guys.

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<v Speaker 5>Some of them internal others. You know, my dad did

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<v Speaker 5>drive me to school in various different cars. Sometimes it

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<v Speaker 5>was a truck, other times it was a rolls voice

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<v Speaker 5>quite literally, like actually, quite literally.

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<v Speaker 1>You're funny. This is great, FLEXI, you're one first quickly, Miki.

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<v Speaker 2>I did think about this, Yeah, bag, I am not

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<v Speaker 2>good at replying to people, and I think people have like,

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<v Speaker 2>oh okay, this's are good at texting, but I see

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<v Speaker 2>all the message.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I.

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<v Speaker 3>Just don't want to everyone.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you have one?

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<v Speaker 4>Flex?

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<v Speaker 3>I think people feel like things come really easily to me,

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<v Speaker 3>and that like I can like just sharp places and

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<v Speaker 3>like things work in my favor and even if they're

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<v Speaker 3>really hard.

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<v Speaker 1>I'd much rather think that people think that much rather.

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<v Speaker 1>I like the thought of.

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<v Speaker 3>Coming out and being like this was really difficult for me,

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<v Speaker 3>and I found that really challenging. Like if I'm stabbing

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<v Speaker 3>a knife in my own gut, you can't do that.

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<v Speaker 3>I would much rather just be like, oh my god, yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>like whatever you say, if it was easier. So I

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<v Speaker 3>felt this from the beginning, like even before media stuff.

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<v Speaker 3>Choosing your audience right, Like my mom used to give

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<v Speaker 3>me this. I don't know if it's a lecture. I

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<v Speaker 3>don't know it's a lecture is not the right word.

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<v Speaker 3>But she used to like give me this same kind

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<v Speaker 3>of nuggets of truth constantly, and so I have all

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<v Speaker 3>of them and every time I call.

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<v Speaker 1>Her, she's so wise.

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<v Speaker 3>But she was saying, you have to be careful because

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<v Speaker 3>people naturally don't recognize their own individual power, right, Like,

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<v Speaker 3>we all have so much power to influence and affect

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<v Speaker 3>somebody else's life, and we don't feel responsible for that.

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<v Speaker 3>So if through me talks to me one day and

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<v Speaker 3>I make a comment about the way you look and

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<v Speaker 3>I make you feel really insecure, I don't feel accountable

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<v Speaker 3>for that. But like that's a lot of power to

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<v Speaker 3>have over a person. So she says, you need to

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<v Speaker 3>be really careful about how you Number One, give people

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<v Speaker 3>an opportunity to speak.

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<v Speaker 1>Into your life.

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<v Speaker 3>So if you're constantly talking to your friends and inviting

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<v Speaker 3>them to create extra narratives around why you can't be something,

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<v Speaker 3>or why you can't go somewhere or you can't do something,

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<v Speaker 3>they'll become really real. Because it's one thing for you

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<v Speaker 3>to reinforce them in your mind, but to let everybody

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<v Speaker 3>else start to reinforce.

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<v Speaker 1>It for you, it's a very powerful thing to do.

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<v Speaker 3>And so the other thing is like be wary of

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<v Speaker 3>the context you give up to now feed into your life. So,

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<v Speaker 3>for example, if someone's looking at me and they're like,

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<v Speaker 3>she has everything so easy, that's a beautiful thing to experience.

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<v Speaker 3>Like to truly believe that someone is experiencing ease, that

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<v Speaker 3>is so sexy. So if that's the worst thing that

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<v Speaker 3>someone can like impart onto me that she doesn't try

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<v Speaker 3>and it's so easy, I'm going to take that. But

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<v Speaker 3>if I counteract the narrative and I say everything is

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<v Speaker 3>so hard and it's so difficult and I'm struggling and

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<v Speaker 3>la la la la, and then people validate that narrative,

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<v Speaker 3>it reinforces that narrative and like almost like fuels flame

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<v Speaker 3>to it. So it's like being mindful about how you

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<v Speaker 3>challenge people's perceptions of you and the power you give

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<v Speaker 3>them to do. So that's why I was getting funny

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<v Speaker 3>and like stop telling people about this big forehead thing,

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<v Speaker 3>because number one, it's not true, but number two, it's

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<v Speaker 3>giving people this like setting this environment and license wheveryone's

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<v Speaker 3>like why I can comment on you generally if it's

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<v Speaker 3>something that I haven't noticed before, Why don't I eliminate

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<v Speaker 3>something else I've noticed about you, And I'm like, I don't,

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<v Speaker 3>like you've always you.

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<v Speaker 5>Taught me that, like, be careful what you say about

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<v Speaker 5>yourself because then people give permission to say it too,

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<v Speaker 5>and we see it.

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<v Speaker 1>Happen all the time. Oh my, it's treacher it's a scary.

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<v Speaker 3>Well anyway, loving you and leaving you.

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<v Speaker 2>You've been listening to The Flex and Froom's daily podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>For more, tune Indicator on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.