WEBVTT - What Constitutes Cheating? What To Do If He Doesn't Reply? And What A Guy's Instagram Says About Him... 0:00:01.960 --> 0:00:03.640 Hi, and welcome to Outspoken. 0:00:03.920 --> 0:00:06.920 Today, we're joined by special guest Ella Jermaine to talk 0:00:07.000 --> 0:00:11.360 all things relationships and dating, from what constitutes cheating, what 0:00:11.480 --> 0:00:13.960 to do if he doesn't reply, and what a guy's 0:00:14.120 --> 0:00:20.799 Instagram really says about him. So, Ella, thank you for 0:00:20.880 --> 0:00:24.160 joining us for this very impromptued dating. 0:00:23.920 --> 0:00:26.120 Advice we go. 0:00:27.120 --> 0:00:30.280 So last week we answered some of the listener's dating 0:00:30.360 --> 0:00:32.600 questions and then it got us thinking we kind of 0:00:32.640 --> 0:00:34.320 didn't want to answer questions, but we kind of wanted 0:00:34.320 --> 0:00:37.440 to talk more about topics in general that might help 0:00:37.479 --> 0:00:38.040 people out. 0:00:38.240 --> 0:00:43.360 So sure, I don't know, because we all know everything. 0:00:43.440 --> 0:00:45.480 Yeah, because you know we're sitting here on our high 0:00:45.479 --> 0:00:46.520 horses here. 0:00:48.840 --> 0:00:50.199 Well, the first topic is. 0:00:50.159 --> 0:00:54.360 All about micro cheating or what actually constitutes cheating. So 0:00:54.360 --> 0:00:56.760 I heard another podcast and they were talking about micro 0:00:56.840 --> 0:00:59.520 cheating as basically, you know, say you were going out 0:00:59.560 --> 0:01:02.640 with someone, but you might be liking your ex's photos 0:01:02.760 --> 0:01:04.600 or you might reply to their text. 0:01:04.959 --> 0:01:05.440 What is this? 0:01:05.480 --> 0:01:07.720 How people think that watching porn is cheating? Is this 0:01:07.840 --> 0:01:10.160 kind of what you're yeah, or as in, what do 0:01:10.240 --> 0:01:13.080 you what would you guys classify as cheating? And maybe 0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:16.040 the you know, would you classify like would you classify 0:01:16.120 --> 0:01:18.720 liking an ex's photo, it was kind of cheating. 0:01:18.800 --> 0:01:20.800 I think it's there's so many factors that you have 0:01:20.880 --> 0:01:23.680 to consider. I think it depends what relationship you have 0:01:23.800 --> 0:01:25.640 with your ex. If it's like a fresh one a 0:01:25.680 --> 0:01:28.199 week ago, you shouldn't probably be in a relationship anyway 0:01:28.240 --> 0:01:31.080 with someone else. But I think it's all about Yeah, 0:01:31.160 --> 0:01:33.559 I think it's the relationship that you have with that ex. 0:01:33.600 --> 0:01:35.200 If it's a friend and they're off married and they're 0:01:35.240 --> 0:01:37.840 just like one of my exes just had a baby recently. 0:01:38.000 --> 0:01:40.240 Oh well, like just photo said, oh, congrat I thought 0:01:40.280 --> 0:01:42.960 it was super cute. I have no emotional feelings towards 0:01:43.040 --> 0:01:44.960 him in that way, but I was happy for him 0:01:45.000 --> 0:01:46.480 and that was I think that was fine for me. 0:01:46.520 --> 0:01:48.000 I don't have a boy for it at the moment, 0:01:48.040 --> 0:01:50.160 but I'm sure if I did, I feel like that 0:01:50.160 --> 0:01:52.000 would be a reasonable thing. But I think it just 0:01:52.000 --> 0:01:54.120 depends if you've got an intent as well, just to 0:01:54.120 --> 0:01:56.200 wish someone well, that's right, but if there's an intent 0:01:56.280 --> 0:01:58.360 to try and maybe see if they're still interested. I 0:01:58.360 --> 0:02:00.840 know boys do it to girls as well, have girlfriends, 0:02:00.880 --> 0:02:03.400 just to sort of see if they're still you know, 0:02:03.720 --> 0:02:05.480 might give something back. I think one of you guys 0:02:05.480 --> 0:02:08.160 said that in one of your recent ones about you know, 0:02:08.280 --> 0:02:10.160 an old X came up at two in the morning. 0:02:10.800 --> 0:02:10.960 Yea. 0:02:11.600 --> 0:02:13.680 You just sort of wonder what the intent is behind that. 0:02:13.760 --> 0:02:16.040 So I think if there's no foul intent and it's 0:02:16.080 --> 0:02:18.760 just wishing someone well and happy for them, then that's fine. 0:02:18.760 --> 0:02:20.639 But you also have to have that trust with your 0:02:20.760 --> 0:02:23.280 partner as well. And if they do call you out 0:02:23.280 --> 0:02:26.280 on it and see that you've liked to photo, I don't. 0:02:26.400 --> 0:02:27.919 I've never done that before. I didn't even know you 0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:29.960 could see what someone else likes, so I didn't even 0:02:30.000 --> 0:02:30.639 know that was a thing. 0:02:30.680 --> 0:02:32.280 But I've thought she taking that away now. 0:02:33.760 --> 0:02:36.519 It's so very disappointed about that she likes to stork. 0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:38.880 We actually had a question we didn't get to answer 0:02:38.960 --> 0:02:41.440 last week from a listener who said, who do you 0:02:41.480 --> 0:02:43.239 guys think should pay on a first date? 0:02:44.760 --> 0:02:49.000 I always like to offer and or like go half, 0:02:49.080 --> 0:02:51.720 but if the guy's like, no, insist, I'm like, oh sure, 0:02:51.760 --> 0:02:53.720 but like yeah, I don't know. I think it's like 0:02:53.919 --> 0:02:56.919 you gotta yeah. I think sometimes girls like the guys 0:02:56.919 --> 0:02:59.520 should pay for everything, But then everyone wants equal women's rights. 0:02:59.560 --> 0:03:02.400 I'm like, have it both ways, Like you know, you 0:03:02.480 --> 0:03:04.400 gotta if you're gonna if you want everyone to be equal, 0:03:04.440 --> 0:03:06.560 then you gotta be the same. But I think it's like, 0:03:06.680 --> 0:03:09.040 but some guys really like to spoil girls as well 0:03:09.040 --> 0:03:12.400 and like to offer if someone Always my mum always 0:03:12.440 --> 0:03:14.360 said if someone like gives you a gift or something, 0:03:14.400 --> 0:03:16.600 you should take it gracefully and say thank you. So 0:03:16.639 --> 0:03:18.880 it's like the same thing paying for dinner as well. 0:03:18.919 --> 0:03:21.440 But yeah, I usually try and offer if they buy dinner, 0:03:21.480 --> 0:03:23.600 I might buy ice cream after, or you know, like 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:25.440 just even enough. So because I don't, I don't you 0:03:25.480 --> 0:03:28.120 never want to be like the sponge bun. I don't know. 0:03:28.480 --> 0:03:30.399 I don't want to ever think people come spongy. 0:03:30.520 --> 0:03:33.560 And I'll say some people get offended if they say no, no, 0:03:33.639 --> 0:03:36.280 and if you're there like trying to throw your card over. 0:03:36.360 --> 0:03:38.440 I think some guys take that offense. It looks like 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:40.839 you're not interested in them. It can look like you're saying, well, 0:03:40.880 --> 0:03:43.280 this isn't really a date, this is just a friendship thing. 0:03:43.560 --> 0:03:46.280 But in saying that as well, also not just because 0:03:46.320 --> 0:03:48.520 someone pays for something. I know some girls that have 0:03:48.600 --> 0:03:51.120 been had these amazing dinners and being spoiled with gifts 0:03:51.120 --> 0:03:53.040 and things, and then they feel like they're expected to 0:03:53.320 --> 0:03:55.720 do other things in return, which also is another thing. 0:03:56.080 --> 0:03:57.800 Just because someone pays for you doesn't mean that you 0:03:57.880 --> 0:04:00.720 need to return favors in other ways to say thank 0:04:00.760 --> 0:04:02.040 you if you want to go for it, and that's 0:04:02.080 --> 0:04:04.680 always a great way to I'm not going to say 0:04:04.680 --> 0:04:06.640 a cheap way to like say thanks for dinner. But 0:04:09.640 --> 0:04:11.880 I don't know, No, I've never done that, No, but 0:04:11.920 --> 0:04:16.200 I'm just yeah, like I think it's you don't. You 0:04:16.240 --> 0:04:18.600 don't owe anyone anything. If they're giving you a gift, 0:04:18.640 --> 0:04:20.760 they shouldn't expect anything in return. That's the same with 0:04:20.800 --> 0:04:23.160 you if you give someone something. Sometimes, like I said before, 0:04:23.200 --> 0:04:25.240 with intent, girls will be like give all this things 0:04:25.240 --> 0:04:27.440 and expecting something back, and when they don't get it, 0:04:27.440 --> 0:04:29.039 they get pissed off. But it's like, if you're giving 0:04:29.080 --> 0:04:30.520 a gift, you should do it just generally because you 0:04:30.560 --> 0:04:35.560 want to make them happy. And yeah, exactly talking about dating. 0:04:35.880 --> 0:04:38.039 For people out there who might be dating at the 0:04:38.040 --> 0:04:41.320 moment and a guy hasn't text them back, what do 0:04:41.360 --> 0:04:43.120 you guys think, Like, Ella, what do you think the 0:04:43.160 --> 0:04:46.240 goal is? Do you think that they should text them again? Like, 0:04:46.279 --> 0:04:48.039 do you have a text double text or is it 0:04:48.120 --> 0:04:49.880 just like letting go It's not. 0:04:50.080 --> 0:04:52.240 It's a tough one because I think it totally. Yeah, 0:04:52.240 --> 0:04:55.560 it just depends, like I think if you if you 0:04:55.720 --> 0:04:58.160 generally I'm wondering how they're bit and you just want 0:04:58.200 --> 0:04:59.479 to check in on the day. I think there's nothing 0:04:59.520 --> 0:05:01.279 wrong with it. Oh, hate when I see my friends 0:05:01.320 --> 0:05:03.080 sitting home like, oh I haven't heard back from I'm like, 0:05:03.200 --> 0:05:05.000 just call him and see if he's like, what's up? 0:05:05.000 --> 0:05:07.159 And if he doesn't reply, then usually it's sort of 0:05:07.200 --> 0:05:09.800 like two strikes, you're out, or maybe just two strikes 0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:11.120 and let it cool for a bit. And if you 0:05:11.120 --> 0:05:12.680 don't hear from it's probably not meant to be or 0:05:12.720 --> 0:05:15.159 they're probably not as keen as you think. And like 0:05:15.200 --> 0:05:17.000 I said, there's lots of lovely people out there that 0:05:17.040 --> 0:05:19.360 will give you time a day. But yeah, I think 0:05:19.440 --> 0:05:21.440 just not going too crazy with it either. And just 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:23.479 I think when I was younger, I used to be like, oh, 0:05:23.600 --> 0:05:26.240 they you know my first boyfriend, if we left it 0:05:26.279 --> 0:05:29.119 a few hours, I'd get all, you know, what's he doing? 0:05:29.240 --> 0:05:31.360 But like I think as you get older, you realize, yeah, 0:05:31.440 --> 0:05:33.880 like people so busy or someone might be driving, or 0:05:33.880 --> 0:05:35.800 they might just have a busy day at work, or 0:05:36.120 --> 0:05:38.400 and sometimes it's nice not always texting back and forth 0:05:38.400 --> 0:05:40.039 because then you can leave it until you catch up, 0:05:40.080 --> 0:05:41.800 so and you have more things to talk about. 0:05:41.880 --> 0:05:42.920 So the worst thing. 0:05:42.839 --> 0:05:45.320 Is I feel like it makes you like people more 0:05:45.400 --> 0:05:47.320 when they're a little bit aloof. 0:05:47.120 --> 0:05:49.479 So, yeah, my mom's always like, be mean to che 0:05:49.520 --> 0:05:53.599 even keen, like keeping keen, and I'm just like, but yeah, 0:05:54.000 --> 0:05:56.839 I find it hard to be mean in tell, I 0:05:56.839 --> 0:06:00.400 don't really like playing the game, as they say. But yeah, 0:06:00.400 --> 0:06:02.040 I think if you're keen, you're keen. If you're not, 0:06:02.080 --> 0:06:02.359 you're not. 0:06:02.520 --> 0:06:04.880 But I think it's hard too because there's so many 0:06:04.960 --> 0:06:07.880 different platforms that you can be rejected on, Like I 0:06:07.920 --> 0:06:09.080 know that's in that movie like. 0:06:11.640 --> 0:06:12.200 That Into You. 0:06:12.279 --> 0:06:14.599 I remember back in the day, if someone hadn't replied 0:06:14.640 --> 0:06:17.160 to my text, they didn't see them on Instagram the 0:06:17.320 --> 0:06:20.800 little green button was on, or they're on Facebook, it 0:06:20.800 --> 0:06:23.120 would be even more offensive because they obviously got their 0:06:23.160 --> 0:06:23.960 phone in their hand. 0:06:24.120 --> 0:06:26.520 Yeah, I think the thing with ghosting and stuff, I 0:06:26.560 --> 0:06:28.400 think there's a level of respect as well. And if 0:06:28.440 --> 0:06:31.000 you've had a genuine relationship or connection with someone and 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:33.480 then they just ghost you. I think that just shows 0:06:33.520 --> 0:06:35.919 more about them than about you. I think it's quite 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:40.040 disrespectful sometimes to completely cut someone out, especially if you've 0:06:40.040 --> 0:06:42.839 had a good relationship and things like that. But everyone 0:06:42.920 --> 0:06:44.760 has their reasons. But I always think for me, I 0:06:44.960 --> 0:06:47.560 like to leave things like this sounds so grim, but 0:06:47.600 --> 0:06:49.480 I'm always like, if someone was in a car accident 0:06:49.560 --> 0:06:52.039 or something happened, how would you want your last words 0:06:52.040 --> 0:06:53.559 to be with them? How would you want to feel 0:06:53.560 --> 0:06:54.640 that you left things with them? 0:06:54.880 --> 0:06:56.479 What about we're talking about dating? 0:06:56.800 --> 0:06:59.480 Have you like, will you guys go and sort of 0:06:59.720 --> 0:07:01.800 say you've been set up on a blind date or 0:07:01.839 --> 0:07:04.360 if you've met on a dating app or whatever? How 0:07:04.520 --> 0:07:07.000 far in will you guys actually. 0:07:06.800 --> 0:07:08.200 Stalk that person online? 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:08.840 Oh? 0:07:08.960 --> 0:07:10.920 Will you get will you guys have a stalk? 0:07:11.360 --> 0:07:11.760 What's this? 0:07:11.840 --> 0:07:12.880 If you got set up on a date? 0:07:13.040 --> 0:07:13.240 Yeah? 0:07:13.280 --> 0:07:14.880 Like or even if you've just met someone on a 0:07:14.880 --> 0:07:17.400 first date, do you go and have a cheeky Facebook 0:07:17.440 --> 0:07:18.600 and instagrams? 0:07:18.640 --> 0:07:19.600 If you like them or not? 0:07:19.800 --> 0:07:23.520 I've never maybe a little bit, but not you don't 0:07:23.520 --> 0:07:25.720 want to go into but like if it was, I'm 0:07:25.760 --> 0:07:28.200 not like about animal cruelty or anything like that. So 0:07:28.240 --> 0:07:30.960 I think if they maybe holding up a dead kangaroo 0:07:30.960 --> 0:07:32.920 that they're culed or something I might be a bit like, 0:07:33.280 --> 0:07:35.640 or if they were putting up racial bits and pieces, 0:07:35.680 --> 0:07:38.160 maybe that that would be good. Maybe it'd be good 0:07:38.160 --> 0:07:41.240 to know prior. But if you're going to have any conflict. 0:07:40.960 --> 0:07:43.080 I was gonna say, well, being in a band, I 0:07:43.080 --> 0:07:45.560 feel like a lot of guys would probably stalk you 0:07:45.600 --> 0:07:46.800 out And do. 0:07:46.800 --> 0:07:47.680 You have you ever had that? 0:07:48.920 --> 0:07:51.760 Yeah, oh well there's I think that sometimes the issue 0:07:51.760 --> 0:07:53.360 with the band thing is, like we were saying before 0:07:53.400 --> 0:07:55.280 social media, it can look really cool you're doing, but 0:07:55.400 --> 0:07:57.240 only put out best pictures or the best things that 0:07:57.280 --> 0:07:59.160 we go and do, like shows and things. But that's 0:07:59.200 --> 0:08:01.960 like literally ten percent of my life most of the time. 0:08:02.040 --> 0:08:04.400 So for me, it's more finding people that want to 0:08:04.400 --> 0:08:07.160 get to know me, for me and a supportive of me, 0:08:07.360 --> 0:08:11.000 whether I'm doing music or doing something else. But yeah, 0:08:11.120 --> 0:08:13.000 you did get a few slides in the DMS. I 0:08:13.000 --> 0:08:15.960 haven't had anything too creepy over the years. Maybe if 0:08:16.000 --> 0:08:18.920 you want bits and pieces and pictures that I'm like. 0:08:19.040 --> 0:08:22.800 To be honest, I would never probably date someone from 0:08:23.120 --> 0:08:25.400 social media straight up. I'd probably I like to meet 0:08:25.400 --> 0:08:28.120 people in person first, But you never know, Sorr. 0:08:28.200 --> 0:08:31.080 If you you would have to have stalked out people 0:08:31.240 --> 0:08:32.079 that you're about to date. 0:08:32.160 --> 0:08:33.199 Yes, I'm a big stalker. 0:08:34.000 --> 0:08:36.440 The tip I would give any boys who are listening 0:08:36.520 --> 0:08:39.280 is remove any photos of yourself at school, because I. 0:08:39.280 --> 0:08:42.079 Feel like all boys have like very few photos of. 0:08:42.040 --> 0:08:44.960 The old haircuts with the sweep to the side. 0:08:45.040 --> 0:08:48.320 If you're an older gal dating a younger guy, is 0:08:48.320 --> 0:08:50.280 that what you make solf? Well, I remember when I 0:08:50.320 --> 0:08:52.520 first looked a friend's page and I was flicking back 0:08:52.559 --> 0:08:54.839 and it got a bit too young, you know what 0:08:54.880 --> 0:08:56.080 I mean, when it gets too. 0:08:55.960 --> 0:08:59.679 Young and you're kind of like, holy fuck, isn't that big? 0:09:00.880 --> 0:09:01.480 So yeah, I think. 0:09:01.520 --> 0:09:03.199 But also boys don't seem to put up as many 0:09:03.200 --> 0:09:05.120 glamorous photos as girls, so I feel like you've got 0:09:05.120 --> 0:09:07.400 to be particular with what you've got up there. Yeah, 0:09:07.400 --> 0:09:10.080 for gout, there's nothing more unattractive though, when a guy 0:09:10.280 --> 0:09:12.200 just posts too much about themselves. On the other hand, 0:09:12.240 --> 0:09:13.640 as well, like you know when you look at some 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:16.280 guys accounts and they're just all photos of them with 0:09:16.280 --> 0:09:18.760 their tops off or very I don't know, very vain. 0:09:19.040 --> 0:09:23.720 I've had two guys I saw over the last couple 0:09:23.760 --> 0:09:27.600 of years didn't have Instagram or any social media. It 0:09:27.640 --> 0:09:29.280 was kind of good because you just enjoy the moment 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:31.679 and it's not about getting that perfect picture or getting 0:09:31.679 --> 0:09:34.160 that And I'm always very private anyway with if I'm 0:09:34.160 --> 0:09:37.439 ever dating or anything not that. It's very uncommon carrots, 0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:38.960 So it's no one's business, is it. 0:09:39.480 --> 0:09:41.920 Sometimes when people go on and on about the particular 0:09:41.960 --> 0:09:45.400 person in their life, sometimes I feel like maybe their 0:09:45.400 --> 0:09:47.480 relationship isn't going that well. But there can be that 0:09:47.559 --> 0:09:50.520 fine line between sharing a little bit and sharing too much. 0:09:51.000 --> 0:09:53.280 Yeah, Like for me personally, yeah, I just yeah, haven't, 0:09:53.360 --> 0:09:55.040 but like, but I know you guys do. So it's 0:09:55.080 --> 0:09:56.600 to colors and I think it's cute. 0:09:56.640 --> 0:09:58.559 On a different topic, what do you guys think about 0:09:58.760 --> 0:10:02.000 girls making the first move, as in either asking a 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:04.840 guy out, leaning in for that kiss, or whatever. 0:10:05.040 --> 0:10:08.040 Yeah, I'm pretty confident if you're a good flatter, I 0:10:08.080 --> 0:10:10.360 think you can gauge whether that's gonna happen or not. 0:10:10.520 --> 0:10:12.360 And some guys are really shy as well, so I 0:10:12.360 --> 0:10:14.760 think you've got to also give them the signals too. 0:10:14.840 --> 0:10:16.360 So I think guys are just as shy to come 0:10:16.400 --> 0:10:17.960 up to a group of girls. Some girls will be 0:10:17.960 --> 0:10:19.840 out and they're like, oh, no one's approaching us. And 0:10:20.240 --> 0:10:22.280 you know, but it must be so intimidating coming up 0:10:22.280 --> 0:10:24.240 to a group of girls like that, fear of rejection, 0:10:24.400 --> 0:10:26.440 and girls can be quite sassy. And I definitely know 0:10:26.920 --> 0:10:29.640 if you're my friends, you know, make them work hard, 0:10:29.679 --> 0:10:31.880 but it must be so scary, and especially if some 0:10:31.920 --> 0:10:33.599 really nice guys as well. So if you sort of 0:10:33.640 --> 0:10:35.560 give them a little bit of a give them a 0:10:35.559 --> 0:10:37.880 little bit of a hint that maybe you might be interested, 0:10:37.880 --> 0:10:40.400 whether it's like a smile or just maybe crack a 0:10:40.480 --> 0:10:42.480 joke or if you like, oh like your share. I 0:10:42.480 --> 0:10:44.880 don't do that. Oh, I don't know. Maybe I've done it. Yeah, 0:10:44.920 --> 0:10:46.800 I've probably done it before. I'm just I just like 0:10:46.880 --> 0:10:49.319 rabiting on and sometimes probably I flirt without realizing it 0:10:49.320 --> 0:10:51.080 and then I get myself into trouble a bit later. 0:10:51.120 --> 0:10:51.760 But that's all right. 0:10:51.800 --> 0:10:53.760 But that's a good thing because it's not like you're like, hey, 0:10:53.880 --> 0:10:56.120 I want to go out. It's like you're just you're 0:10:56.160 --> 0:10:59.319 just creating conversation. But I feel and they feel comfortable, yeah, 0:10:59.480 --> 0:11:00.880 and I feel like there's nothing that. 0:11:03.160 --> 0:11:03.439 I think. 0:11:03.440 --> 0:11:06.080 There's nothing wrong though with a girl asking a guy 0:11:06.120 --> 0:11:08.000 to do something I mean, I think back to our 0:11:08.040 --> 0:11:10.040 mum and dad. Our mum actually asked our dad out 0:11:10.040 --> 0:11:10.920 on their first date. 0:11:11.080 --> 0:11:12.559 So you know, you never know what's going to happen 0:11:12.600 --> 0:11:12.840 from it. 0:11:13.000 --> 0:11:14.600 And if you like what you see, or if you've 0:11:14.600 --> 0:11:16.120 got a good vibe with someone or you had a 0:11:16.200 --> 0:11:19.440 nice connection, life's too short to sit around and wait 0:11:19.480 --> 0:11:21.680 for them to message you. And if you think they're cool, 0:11:21.720 --> 0:11:23.920 then just flick them a message or just say hey, 0:11:23.920 --> 0:11:25.560 it was really nice meeting. You can watch you up 0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:27.640 to and if the conversation flows and maybe you see 0:11:27.679 --> 0:11:30.520 each other again, or you just find like those little 0:11:30.559 --> 0:11:32.960 common places that you might see each other again, but 0:11:33.080 --> 0:11:35.200 just not in a Stockrish way, like don't be too crazy. 0:11:35.360 --> 0:11:38.079 But yeah, guys can be pretty piss week, you know 0:11:38.120 --> 0:11:40.200 what I mean, And they might think that you're either 0:11:40.240 --> 0:11:42.000 out of their league or they don't you know, they 0:11:42.000 --> 0:11:44.800 don't have that confidence to ask you something. So it 0:11:44.880 --> 0:11:48.080 is good to let people I know that you are interested. Yeah, 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:51.120 I think Ozzie guys are pissed week. Because you know 0:11:51.160 --> 0:11:54.200 you've been in the UK. Do you find men are 0:11:54.200 --> 0:11:54.880 different over there? 0:11:55.240 --> 0:11:57.920 It is a lot different there's but I think there's 0:11:57.920 --> 0:12:00.480 a lot of chivalry over in the UK Europe. There's 0:12:00.480 --> 0:12:02.000 a lot of that in that culture, and I think 0:12:02.000 --> 0:12:04.280 there's a lot more confidence as well. And yeah, they 0:12:04.320 --> 0:12:06.840 certainly know how to say the right things, but I 0:12:06.840 --> 0:12:09.040 think it's ausy girls. You're so installed like when a 0:12:09.040 --> 0:12:11.400 guy gives you a compliment that what do you want? 0:12:11.480 --> 0:12:12.960 Like you know what I mean? Like you don't just 0:12:13.000 --> 0:12:15.600 think they're being nice. So I've learned to sort of 0:12:15.640 --> 0:12:18.120 change my perception of that with people when they give 0:12:18.160 --> 0:12:21.120 you compliments. But yeah, like it's it's all a bit different. 0:12:21.120 --> 0:12:21.880 I think you're true. 0:12:21.960 --> 0:12:24.840 Well, another question that's popped up is how do you 0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:27.920 impress your partner's parents and do you have any funny 0:12:27.920 --> 0:12:31.640 experiences with trying to impress them or meeting them. 0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:34.440 I think it's always just good to give, maybe like 0:12:34.480 --> 0:12:37.240 when the first time, maybe bringing some biscuits or like 0:12:37.360 --> 0:12:40.880 flowers for the mom or I had a overseas fella 0:12:40.960 --> 0:12:44.079 for a while, so bringing some Australian goods was always 0:12:44.080 --> 0:12:46.040 went down to hoot and he'd bring back some stuff 0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:48.040 from his country for me. 0:12:48.320 --> 0:12:49.760 So that's a good one. 0:12:49.880 --> 0:12:52.280 Yeah, And also maybe asking a few questions before you 0:12:52.320 --> 0:12:54.640 go in what the parents are interested in. I think 0:12:54.760 --> 0:12:57.679 asking them questions. It's not all about you don't want 0:12:57.679 --> 0:12:59.160 to go in like you're trying to impress them, but 0:12:59.200 --> 0:13:02.160 also being really interested about maybe their work, whether they're 0:13:02.200 --> 0:13:05.480 like an engineer or whether they're a nurse or whatever 0:13:05.520 --> 0:13:07.320 they do. So you kind of got some common ground 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:09.960 to get some conversations throw. And you guys would probably 0:13:09.960 --> 0:13:11.720 be good at it, and I'm not too bad at 0:13:11.760 --> 0:13:14.160 it just because of our journalism background, probably you're used 0:13:14.200 --> 0:13:16.480 to getting those conversations going. But for girls out there 0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:19.480 listening that maybe aren't so confident always doing that little 0:13:19.480 --> 0:13:21.040 bit of research. Just pretend it's like. 0:13:20.960 --> 0:13:23.080 A little ask a lot of questions. 0:13:23.080 --> 0:13:24.640 Well yeah, lots of questions. 0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:26.760 But yeah, you say that we'd be good at it. 0:13:26.800 --> 0:13:30.520 But my first ever boyfriend, apparently his dad's first impression 0:13:30.520 --> 0:13:32.400 of me was that I like shiny. 0:13:32.080 --> 0:13:34.840 Things, shiny things, so apparently I managed. 0:13:35.000 --> 0:13:37.240 He was actually a judge, so I felt very nervous 0:13:37.280 --> 0:13:37.840 meaning him. 0:13:37.920 --> 0:13:38.400 So I don't know. 0:13:38.400 --> 0:13:40.360 I think he saw the blonde hair and just my 0:13:40.440 --> 0:13:43.000 clothing and assume that I was something that I wasn't, 0:13:43.040 --> 0:13:43.840 and then later. 0:13:43.640 --> 0:13:44.920 I managed to win him over. 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:47.720 Oh I know, yeah, it is hard to make it. 0:13:47.800 --> 0:13:50.640 I feel like it's hard sometimes with the dads. 0:13:50.880 --> 0:13:52.200 I don't know, because I feel like with the mums 0:13:52.200 --> 0:13:54.040 you've got something in common, but it's always good to 0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:56.199 think of something with the duds. It depends like if 0:13:56.200 --> 0:13:59.000 it's sometimes it's kind of I don't know. Sometimes I 0:13:59.040 --> 0:14:01.120 feel like it's easier to suck up to old men. 0:14:01.160 --> 0:14:03.280 I know that sounds really weird, but I don't know. 0:14:03.360 --> 0:14:05.520 You can just pund yeah. 0:14:05.520 --> 0:14:07.480 I feel like it is just finding that common ground. 0:14:07.720 --> 0:14:09.240 I know when I met Dave was one she wasn't 0:14:09.360 --> 0:14:12.160 very impressed with Dale because he was moving to Sydney 0:14:12.160 --> 0:14:15.679 and she's like, why is he dating this girl from Adelaide? 0:14:15.960 --> 0:14:19.000 But we bonded over our love of cats. I feel like, 0:14:19.040 --> 0:14:21.800 once you find yeah, just go for it. 0:14:21.760 --> 0:14:23.920 And forgoing at the end of the yeah, and always 0:14:23.960 --> 0:14:28.360 be yourself as well, And I think, yeah, definitely, yeah, yeah. 0:14:28.440 --> 0:14:30.160 I haven't had to do this for a while though, 0:14:30.240 --> 0:14:31.640 so I don't know if I out of the game. 0:14:31.720 --> 0:14:34.320 It's just good prep for your next boyfriend. 0:14:34.720 --> 0:14:36.440 Yeah. Yeah. 0:14:36.560 --> 0:14:39.360 I feel like if you go out and you're looking 0:14:39.680 --> 0:14:41.960 for a boyfriend as well, you're never going to find someone. 0:14:42.000 --> 0:14:44.200 What's that thing on sex and the City, because it's 0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:47.040 only when they're like their cavlights on. Yeah, And I 0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:49.560 feel that's so true as in when you start getting 0:14:49.560 --> 0:14:51.880 in your late twenties or your early thirties, Yeah, I 0:14:51.880 --> 0:14:54.720 feel like you meet men who are actually looking for 0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:57.440 a partner. When everyone was in the early twenties, I 0:14:57.440 --> 0:14:59.560 feel like boys were just such a dickhead. They just 0:14:59.640 --> 0:15:03.400 wanted to just you know, you guys, most guys, most 0:15:03.640 --> 0:15:05.440 you know what I mean, They just wanted to mess 0:15:05.480 --> 0:15:08.120 around with heaps of girls. But then it's funny now 0:15:08.120 --> 0:15:11.040 because with my younger cousins now, when I see that 0:15:11.080 --> 0:15:12.560 they're in their early twenties, I'm like. 0:15:12.480 --> 0:15:14.080 They should be going out having fun. 0:15:14.200 --> 0:15:15.800 But then when you're in a relation, you're in life. 0:15:17.160 --> 0:15:19.600 I always think that, like feeling Madison, like still young 0:15:19.640 --> 0:15:20.640 as long as you can. 0:15:20.760 --> 0:15:22.920 But it's so funny with you, like I see I 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:24.840 see them now and they're like the same age as 0:15:24.840 --> 0:15:27.000 people I used to go out with, and I'm like, fuck, 0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:29.720 why was I expecting something so serious from someone who was, 0:15:29.800 --> 0:15:31.120 you know, in the early twenties. 0:15:31.200 --> 0:15:33.560 Yeah, which is all like a learning thing. Yeah, Like 0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:35.960 if it works out for people in their early twenties, 0:15:36.000 --> 0:15:38.320 and that's awesome, and you know, some people don't meet 0:15:38.320 --> 0:15:40.240 the love of their life until they're in their fifties, 0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:42.960 and that's totally fine as well. So I think, like 0:15:43.240 --> 0:15:45.760 being caught in something that you're not happy in or 0:15:46.360 --> 0:15:48.520 you know, it's better. I always say like to my 0:15:48.600 --> 0:15:50.840