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Speaker 1: Hi, and welcome to Outspoken.

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Speaker 2: Today, we're joined by special guest Ella Jermaine to talk

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Speaker 2: all things relationships and dating, from what constitutes cheating, what

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Speaker 2: to do if he doesn't reply, and what a guy's

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Speaker 2: Instagram really says about him. So, Ella, thank you for

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Speaker 2: joining us for this very impromptued dating.

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Speaker 3: Advice we go.

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Speaker 2: So last week we answered some of the listener's dating

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Speaker 2: questions and then it got us thinking we kind of

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Speaker 2: didn't want to answer questions, but we kind of wanted

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Speaker 2: to talk more about topics in general that might help

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Speaker 2: people out.

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Speaker 4: So sure, I don't know, because we all know everything.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because you know we're sitting here on our high

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Speaker 2: horses here.

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Speaker 3: Well, the first topic is.

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Speaker 2: All about micro cheating or what actually constitutes cheating. So

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Speaker 2: I heard another podcast and they were talking about micro

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Speaker 2: cheating as basically, you know, say you were going out

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Speaker 2: with someone, but you might be liking your ex's photos

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Speaker 2: or you might reply to their text.

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Speaker 1: What is this?

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Speaker 2: How people think that watching porn is cheating? Is this

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Speaker 2: kind of what you're yeah, or as in, what do

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Speaker 2: you what would you guys classify as cheating? And maybe

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Speaker 2: the you know, would you classify like would you classify

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Speaker 2: liking an ex's photo, it was kind of cheating.

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Speaker 4: I think it's there's so many factors that you have

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Speaker 4: to consider. I think it depends what relationship you have

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Speaker 4: with your ex. If it's like a fresh one a

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Speaker 4: week ago, you shouldn't probably be in a relationship anyway

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Speaker 4: with someone else. But I think it's all about Yeah,

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Speaker 4: I think it's the relationship that you have with that ex.

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Speaker 4: If it's a friend and they're off married and they're

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Speaker 4: just like one of my exes just had a baby recently.

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Speaker 4: Oh well, like just photo said, oh, congrat I thought

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Speaker 4: it was super cute. I have no emotional feelings towards

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Speaker 4: him in that way, but I was happy for him

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Speaker 4: and that was I think that was fine for me.

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Speaker 4: I don't have a boy for it at the moment,

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Speaker 4: but I'm sure if I did, I feel like that

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Speaker 4: would be a reasonable thing. But I think it just

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Speaker 4: depends if you've got an intent as well, just to

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Speaker 4: wish someone well, that's right, but if there's an intent

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Speaker 4: to try and maybe see if they're still interested. I

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Speaker 4: know boys do it to girls as well, have girlfriends,

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Speaker 4: just to sort of see if they're still you know,

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Speaker 4: might give something back. I think one of you guys

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Speaker 4: said that in one of your recent ones about you know,

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Speaker 4: an old X came up at two in the morning.

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Speaker 2: Yea.

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Speaker 4: You just sort of wonder what the intent is behind that.

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Speaker 4: So I think if there's no foul intent and it's

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Speaker 4: just wishing someone well and happy for them, then that's fine.

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Speaker 4: But you also have to have that trust with your

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Speaker 4: partner as well. And if they do call you out

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Speaker 4: on it and see that you've liked to photo, I don't.

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Speaker 4: I've never done that before. I didn't even know you

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Speaker 4: could see what someone else likes, so I didn't even

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Speaker 4: know that was a thing.

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Speaker 1: But I've thought she taking that away now.

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Speaker 2: It's so very disappointed about that she likes to stork.

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Speaker 2: We actually had a question we didn't get to answer

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Speaker 2: last week from a listener who said, who do you

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Speaker 2: guys think should pay on a first date?

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Speaker 4: I always like to offer and or like go half,

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Speaker 4: but if the guy's like, no, insist, I'm like, oh sure,

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Speaker 4: but like yeah, I don't know. I think it's like

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Speaker 4: you gotta yeah. I think sometimes girls like the guys

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Speaker 4: should pay for everything, But then everyone wants equal women's rights.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, have it both ways, Like you know, you

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Speaker 4: gotta if you're gonna if you want everyone to be equal,

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Speaker 4: then you gotta be the same. But I think it's like,

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Speaker 4: but some guys really like to spoil girls as well

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Speaker 4: and like to offer if someone Always my mum always

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Speaker 4: said if someone like gives you a gift or something,

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Speaker 4: you should take it gracefully and say thank you. So

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Speaker 4: it's like the same thing paying for dinner as well.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, I usually try and offer if they buy dinner,

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Speaker 4: I might buy ice cream after, or you know, like

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Speaker 4: just even enough. So because I don't, I don't you

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Speaker 4: never want to be like the sponge bun. I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I don't want to ever think people come spongy.

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Speaker 2: And I'll say some people get offended if they say no, no,

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Speaker 2: and if you're there like trying to throw your card over.

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Speaker 2: I think some guys take that offense. It looks like

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Speaker 2: you're not interested in them. It can look like you're saying, well,

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Speaker 2: this isn't really a date, this is just a friendship thing.

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Speaker 4: But in saying that as well, also not just because

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Speaker 4: someone pays for something. I know some girls that have

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Speaker 4: been had these amazing dinners and being spoiled with gifts

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Speaker 4: and things, and then they feel like they're expected to

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Speaker 4: do other things in return, which also is another thing.

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Speaker 4: Just because someone pays for you doesn't mean that you

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Speaker 4: need to return favors in other ways to say thank

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Speaker 4: you if you want to go for it, and that's

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Speaker 4: always a great way to I'm not going to say

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Speaker 4: a cheap way to like say thanks for dinner. But

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Speaker 4: I don't know, No, I've never done that, No, but

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Speaker 4: I'm just yeah, like I think it's you don't. You

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Speaker 4: don't owe anyone anything. If they're giving you a gift,

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Speaker 4: they shouldn't expect anything in return. That's the same with

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Speaker 4: you if you give someone something. Sometimes, like I said before,

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Speaker 4: with intent, girls will be like give all this things

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Speaker 4: and expecting something back, and when they don't get it,

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Speaker 4: they get pissed off. But it's like, if you're giving

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Speaker 4: a gift, you should do it just generally because you

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Speaker 4: want to make them happy. And yeah, exactly talking about dating.

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Speaker 2: For people out there who might be dating at the

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Speaker 2: moment and a guy hasn't text them back, what do

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Speaker 2: you guys think, Like, Ella, what do you think the

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Speaker 2: goal is? Do you think that they should text them again? Like,

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Speaker 2: do you have a text double text or is it

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Speaker 2: just like letting go It's not.

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Speaker 4: It's a tough one because I think it totally. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: it just depends, like I think if you if you

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Speaker 4: generally I'm wondering how they're bit and you just want

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Speaker 4: to check in on the day. I think there's nothing

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Speaker 4: wrong with it. Oh, hate when I see my friends

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Speaker 4: sitting home like, oh I haven't heard back from I'm like,

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Speaker 4: just call him and see if he's like, what's up?

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Speaker 4: And if he doesn't reply, then usually it's sort of

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Speaker 4: like two strikes, you're out, or maybe just two strikes

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Speaker 4: and let it cool for a bit. And if you

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Speaker 4: don't hear from it's probably not meant to be or

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Speaker 4: they're probably not as keen as you think. And like

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Speaker 4: I said, there's lots of lovely people out there that

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Speaker 4: will give you time a day. But yeah, I think

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Speaker 4: just not going too crazy with it either. And just

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Speaker 4: I think when I was younger, I used to be like, oh,

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Speaker 4: they you know my first boyfriend, if we left it

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Speaker 4: a few hours, I'd get all, you know, what's he doing?

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Speaker 4: But like I think as you get older, you realize, yeah,

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Speaker 4: like people so busy or someone might be driving, or

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Speaker 4: they might just have a busy day at work, or

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Speaker 4: and sometimes it's nice not always texting back and forth

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Speaker 4: because then you can leave it until you catch up,

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Speaker 4: so and you have more things to talk about.

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Speaker 3: So the worst thing.

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Speaker 2: Is I feel like it makes you like people more

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Speaker 2: when they're a little bit aloof.

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Speaker 4: So, yeah, my mom's always like, be mean to che

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Speaker 4: even keen, like keeping keen, and I'm just like, but yeah,

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Speaker 4: I find it hard to be mean in tell, I

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Speaker 4: don't really like playing the game, as they say. But yeah,

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Speaker 4: I think if you're keen, you're keen. If you're not,

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Speaker 4: you're not.

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Speaker 2: But I think it's hard too because there's so many

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Speaker 2: different platforms that you can be rejected on, Like I

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Speaker 2: know that's in that movie like.

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Speaker 3: That Into You.

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Speaker 2: I remember back in the day, if someone hadn't replied

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Speaker 2: to my text, they didn't see them on Instagram the

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Speaker 2: little green button was on, or they're on Facebook, it

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Speaker 2: would be even more offensive because they obviously got their

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Speaker 2: phone in their hand.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think the thing with ghosting and stuff, I

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Speaker 4: think there's a level of respect as well. And if

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Speaker 4: you've had a genuine relationship or connection with someone and

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Speaker 4: then they just ghost you. I think that just shows

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Speaker 4: more about them than about you. I think it's quite

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Speaker 4: disrespectful sometimes to completely cut someone out, especially if you've

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Speaker 4: had a good relationship and things like that. But everyone

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Speaker 4: has their reasons. But I always think for me, I

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Speaker 4: like to leave things like this sounds so grim, but

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Speaker 4: I'm always like, if someone was in a car accident

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Speaker 4: or something happened, how would you want your last words

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Speaker 4: to be with them? How would you want to feel

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Speaker 4: that you left things with them?

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Speaker 3: What about we're talking about dating?

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Speaker 2: Have you like, will you guys go and sort of

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Speaker 2: say you've been set up on a blind date or

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Speaker 2: if you've met on a dating app or whatever? How

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Speaker 2: far in will you guys actually.

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Speaker 3: Stalk that person online?

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Speaker 4: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Will you get will you guys have a stalk?

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Speaker 3: What's this?

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Speaker 4: If you got set up on a date?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Like or even if you've just met someone on a

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Speaker 2: first date, do you go and have a cheeky Facebook

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Speaker 2: and instagrams?

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Speaker 1: If you like them or not?

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Speaker 4: I've never maybe a little bit, but not you don't

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Speaker 4: want to go into but like if it was, I'm

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Speaker 4: not like about animal cruelty or anything like that. So

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Speaker 4: I think if they maybe holding up a dead kangaroo

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Speaker 4: that they're culed or something I might be a bit like,

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Speaker 4: or if they were putting up racial bits and pieces,

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Speaker 4: maybe that that would be good. Maybe it'd be good

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Speaker 4: to know prior. But if you're going to have any conflict.

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Speaker 2: I was gonna say, well, being in a band, I

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Speaker 2: feel like a lot of guys would probably stalk you

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Speaker 2: out And do.

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Speaker 3: You have you ever had that?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, oh well there's I think that sometimes the issue

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Speaker 4: with the band thing is, like we were saying before

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Speaker 4: social media, it can look really cool you're doing, but

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Speaker 4: only put out best pictures or the best things that

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Speaker 4: we go and do, like shows and things. But that's

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Speaker 4: like literally ten percent of my life most of the time.

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Speaker 4: So for me, it's more finding people that want to

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Speaker 4: get to know me, for me and a supportive of me,

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Speaker 4: whether I'm doing music or doing something else. But yeah,

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Speaker 4: you did get a few slides in the DMS. I

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Speaker 4: haven't had anything too creepy over the years. Maybe if

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Speaker 4: you want bits and pieces and pictures that I'm like.

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Speaker 4: To be honest, I would never probably date someone from

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Speaker 4: social media straight up. I'd probably I like to meet

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Speaker 4: people in person first, But you never know, Sorr.

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Speaker 2: If you you would have to have stalked out people

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Speaker 2: that you're about to date.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I'm a big stalker.

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Speaker 2: The tip I would give any boys who are listening

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Speaker 2: is remove any photos of yourself at school, because I.

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Speaker 1: Feel like all boys have like very few photos of.

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Speaker 4: The old haircuts with the sweep to the side.

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Speaker 2: If you're an older gal dating a younger guy, is

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Speaker 2: that what you make solf? Well, I remember when I

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Speaker 2: first looked a friend's page and I was flicking back

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Speaker 2: and it got a bit too young, you know what

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Speaker 2: I mean, when it gets too.

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Speaker 1: Young and you're kind of like, holy fuck, isn't that big?

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Speaker 3: So yeah, I think.

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Speaker 2: But also boys don't seem to put up as many

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Speaker 2: glamorous photos as girls, so I feel like you've got

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Speaker 2: to be particular with what you've got up there. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: for gout, there's nothing more unattractive though, when a guy

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Speaker 2: just posts too much about themselves. On the other hand,

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Speaker 2: as well, like you know when you look at some

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Speaker 2: guys accounts and they're just all photos of them with

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Speaker 2: their tops off or very I don't know, very vain.

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Speaker 4: I've had two guys I saw over the last couple

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Speaker 4: of years didn't have Instagram or any social media. It

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Speaker 4: was kind of good because you just enjoy the moment

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Speaker 4: and it's not about getting that perfect picture or getting

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Speaker 4: that And I'm always very private anyway with if I'm

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Speaker 4: ever dating or anything not that. It's very uncommon carrots,

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Speaker 4: So it's no one's business, is it.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes when people go on and on about the particular

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Speaker 2: person in their life, sometimes I feel like maybe their

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Speaker 2: relationship isn't going that well. But there can be that

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Speaker 2: fine line between sharing a little bit and sharing too much.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Like for me personally, yeah, I just yeah, haven't,

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Speaker 4: but like, but I know you guys do. So it's

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Speaker 4: to colors and I think it's cute.

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Speaker 2: On a different topic, what do you guys think about

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Speaker 2: girls making the first move, as in either asking a

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Speaker 2: guy out, leaning in for that kiss, or whatever.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm pretty confident if you're a good flatter, I

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Speaker 4: think you can gauge whether that's gonna happen or not.

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Speaker 4: And some guys are really shy as well, so I

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Speaker 4: think you've got to also give them the signals too.

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Speaker 4: So I think guys are just as shy to come

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Speaker 4: up to a group of girls. Some girls will be

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Speaker 4: out and they're like, oh, no one's approaching us. And

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Speaker 4: you know, but it must be so intimidating coming up

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Speaker 4: to a group of girls like that, fear of rejection,

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Speaker 4: and girls can be quite sassy. And I definitely know

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Speaker 4: if you're my friends, you know, make them work hard,

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Speaker 4: but it must be so scary, and especially if some

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Speaker 4: really nice guys as well. So if you sort of

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Speaker 4: give them a little bit of a give them a

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Speaker 4: little bit of a hint that maybe you might be interested,

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Speaker 4: whether it's like a smile or just maybe crack a

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Speaker 4: joke or if you like, oh like your share. I

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Speaker 4: don't do that. Oh, I don't know. Maybe I've done it. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: I've probably done it before. I'm just I just like

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Speaker 4: rabiting on and sometimes probably I flirt without realizing it

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Speaker 4: and then I get myself into trouble a bit later.

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Speaker 4: But that's all right.

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Speaker 2: But that's a good thing because it's not like you're like, hey,

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Speaker 2: I want to go out. It's like you're just you're

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Speaker 2: just creating conversation. But I feel and they feel comfortable, yeah,

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Speaker 2: and I feel like there's nothing that.

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Speaker 4: I think.

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Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong though with a girl asking a guy

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Speaker 2: to do something I mean, I think back to our

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Speaker 2: mum and dad. Our mum actually asked our dad out

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Speaker 2: on their first date.

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Speaker 1: So you know, you never know what's going to happen

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Speaker 1: from it.

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Speaker 4: And if you like what you see, or if you've

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Speaker 4: got a good vibe with someone or you had a

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Speaker 4: nice connection, life's too short to sit around and wait

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Speaker 4: for them to message you. And if you think they're cool,

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Speaker 4: then just flick them a message or just say hey,

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Speaker 4: it was really nice meeting. You can watch you up

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Speaker 4: to and if the conversation flows and maybe you see

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Speaker 4: each other again, or you just find like those little

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Speaker 4: common places that you might see each other again, but

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Speaker 4: just not in a Stockrish way, like don't be too crazy.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, guys can be pretty piss week, you know

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Speaker 2: what I mean, And they might think that you're either

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Speaker 2: out of their league or they don't you know, they

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Speaker 2: don't have that confidence to ask you something. So it

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Speaker 2: is good to let people I know that you are interested. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I think Ozzie guys are pissed week. Because you know

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Speaker 2: you've been in the UK. Do you find men are

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Speaker 2: different over there?

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Speaker 4: It is a lot different there's but I think there's

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Speaker 4: a lot of chivalry over in the UK Europe. There's

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Speaker 4: a lot of that in that culture, and I think

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Speaker 4: there's a lot more confidence as well. And yeah, they

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Speaker 4: certainly know how to say the right things, but I

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Speaker 4: think it's ausy girls. You're so installed like when a

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Speaker 4: guy gives you a compliment that what do you want?

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Speaker 4: Like you know what I mean? Like you don't just

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Speaker 4: think they're being nice. So I've learned to sort of

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Speaker 4: change my perception of that with people when they give

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Speaker 4: you compliments. But yeah, like it's it's all a bit different.

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Speaker 4: I think you're true.

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Speaker 2: Well, another question that's popped up is how do you

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Speaker 2: impress your partner's parents and do you have any funny

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Speaker 2: experiences with trying to impress them or meeting them.

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Speaker 4: I think it's always just good to give, maybe like

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Speaker 4: when the first time, maybe bringing some biscuits or like

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Speaker 4: flowers for the mom or I had a overseas fella

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Speaker 4: for a while, so bringing some Australian goods was always

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Speaker 4: went down to hoot and he'd bring back some stuff

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Speaker 4: from his country for me.

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Speaker 3: So that's a good one.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And also maybe asking a few questions before you

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Speaker 4: go in what the parents are interested in. I think

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Speaker 4: asking them questions. It's not all about you don't want

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Speaker 4: to go in like you're trying to impress them, but

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Speaker 4: also being really interested about maybe their work, whether they're

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Speaker 4: like an engineer or whether they're a nurse or whatever

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Speaker 4: they do. So you kind of got some common ground

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Speaker 4: to get some conversations throw. And you guys would probably

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Speaker 4: be good at it, and I'm not too bad at

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Speaker 4: it just because of our journalism background, probably you're used

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Speaker 4: to getting those conversations going. But for girls out there

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Speaker 4: listening that maybe aren't so confident always doing that little

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Speaker 4: bit of research. Just pretend it's like.

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Speaker 3: A little ask a lot of questions.

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Speaker 4: Well yeah, lots of questions.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, you say that we'd be good at it.

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Speaker 2: But my first ever boyfriend, apparently his dad's first impression

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Speaker 2: of me was that I like shiny.

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Speaker 1: Things, shiny things, so apparently I managed.

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Speaker 2: He was actually a judge, so I felt very nervous

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Speaker 2: meaning him.

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Speaker 1: So I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I think he saw the blonde hair and just my

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Speaker 2: clothing and assume that I was something that I wasn't,

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Speaker 2: and then later.

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Speaker 3: I managed to win him over.

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Speaker 2: Oh I know, yeah, it is hard to make it.

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Speaker 1: I feel like it's hard sometimes with the dads.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, because I feel like with the mums

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Speaker 2: you've got something in common, but it's always good to

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Speaker 2: think of something with the duds. It depends like if

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Speaker 2: it's sometimes it's kind of I don't know. Sometimes I

356
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Speaker 2: feel like it's easier to suck up to old men.

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Speaker 2: I know that sounds really weird, but I don't know.

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Speaker 1: You can just pund yeah.

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Speaker 2: I feel like it is just finding that common ground.

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Speaker 2: I know when I met Dave was one she wasn't

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Speaker 2: very impressed with Dale because he was moving to Sydney

362
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Speaker 2: and she's like, why is he dating this girl from Adelaide?

363
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Speaker 2: But we bonded over our love of cats. I feel like,

364
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Speaker 2: once you find yeah, just go for it.

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Speaker 4: And forgoing at the end of the yeah, and always

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Speaker 4: be yourself as well, And I think, yeah, definitely, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 4: I haven't had to do this for a while though,

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Speaker 4: so I don't know if I out of the game.

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Speaker 3: It's just good prep for your next boyfriend.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I feel like if you go out and you're looking

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Speaker 2: for a boyfriend as well, you're never going to find someone.

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Speaker 2: What's that thing on sex and the City, because it's

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Speaker 2: only when they're like their cavlights on. Yeah, And I

375
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Speaker 2: feel that's so true as in when you start getting

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Speaker 2: in your late twenties or your early thirties, Yeah, I

377
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Speaker 2: feel like you meet men who are actually looking for

378
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Speaker 2: a partner. When everyone was in the early twenties, I

379
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Speaker 2: feel like boys were just such a dickhead. They just

380
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Speaker 2: wanted to just you know, you guys, most guys, most

381
00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:05,440
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, They just wanted to mess

382
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Speaker 2: around with heaps of girls. But then it's funny now

383
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Speaker 2: because with my younger cousins now, when I see that

384
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Speaker 2: they're in their early twenties, I'm like.

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Speaker 1: They should be going out having fun.

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Speaker 4: But then when you're in a relation, you're in life.

387
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Speaker 4: I always think that, like feeling Madison, like still young

388
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Speaker 4: as long as you can.

389
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Speaker 2: But it's so funny with you, like I see I

390
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Speaker 2: see them now and they're like the same age as

391
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Speaker 2: people I used to go out with, and I'm like, fuck,

392
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Speaker 2: why was I expecting something so serious from someone who was,

393
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Speaker 2: you know, in the early twenties.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, which is all like a learning thing. Yeah, Like

395
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Speaker 4: if it works out for people in their early twenties,

396
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Speaker 4: and that's awesome, and you know, some people don't meet

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Speaker 4: the love of their life until they're in their fifties,

398
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Speaker 4: and that's totally fine as well. So I think, like

399
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Speaker 4: being caught in something that you're not happy in or

400
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Speaker 4: you know, it's better. I always say like to my

401
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:50,840
Speaker 4: friends as well, just you know, when they're not sure

402
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,080
Speaker 4: or if they've been in relationships in the past where

403
00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:54,960
Speaker 4: they're like, I don't know if they're my soulmate, but

404
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:56,760
Speaker 4: I don't know, I'm scared I'm not going to find

405
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Speaker 4: anyone else, And I'm like, well, just think of yourself

406
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:01,400
Speaker 4: in five years, like would you what would they be

407
00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:03,880
Speaker 4: telling you to do now? Because the worst thing is

408
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,920
Speaker 4: getting into a situation which is unfair on both parties

409
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,240
Speaker 4: that you're going to be in this you know, whether

410
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:12,480
Speaker 4: it's financial or like housing or kids and things like that.

411
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,040
Speaker 4: If you weren't really invested five years ago, you know,

412
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Speaker 4: you might be stopping them from meeting someone awesome and

413
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:19,680
Speaker 4: stopping yourself. So it's better to sort of nip things

414
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Speaker 4: in the bard when you start getting those fiels, but

415
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:25,160
Speaker 4: also not completely ditching it before you know giving it

416
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Speaker 4: a shot. Working out obviously just depends on the circumstances.

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Speaker 2: I feel like, that's such a good point because I've

418
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:32,640
Speaker 2: heard of so many people these days just having the

419
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:36,240
Speaker 2: pressure to be in a relationship and just and settling

420
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:39,040
Speaker 2: like that would be my worst nightmare, because I feel

421
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,800
Speaker 2: like on the outside sometimes you can look in at

422
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,560
Speaker 2: people's relationships and be like, oh wow, they look so good,

423
00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:46,200
Speaker 2: but you never really know what's bubbling away under the surface.

424
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Speaker 2: And I just think nobody should settle. But as you said,

425
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Speaker 2: I feel like it's really good advice to just give

426
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:55,080
Speaker 2: people a go though that you might not think you like,

427
00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:59,040
Speaker 2: because so many relationships start off like that as well,

428
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:01,120
Speaker 2: but it's not necessarily settling, like you still have to

429
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,040
Speaker 2: have that feeling.

430
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Speaker 4: Of yeah, you can like that little spark as well.

431
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Speaker 4: I always I've said as well, it's kind of like,

432
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:08,919
Speaker 4: you know, when you have those two waging what are

433
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:12,080
Speaker 4: they called, when you've got like weights, like, oh, like

434
00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:14,960
Speaker 4: a pendulum kind of yeah, is that right? Yeah, it's

435
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,639
Speaker 4: like a good there's a good Like so you've got

436
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:18,560
Speaker 4: two buckets. There's a good bucket and a bad bucket,

437
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:20,199
Speaker 4: and it's all right, both of them are filled with

438
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,920
Speaker 4: good stuff and bad stuff. But when the bad bucket

439
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,280
Speaker 4: starts getting filled up with more things and then it's

440
00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:28,159
Speaker 4: too heavy to carry. Then you know that's not you know,

441
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:29,200
Speaker 4: probably not right.

442
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:30,760
Speaker 3: I think we'll probably do our last question.

443
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:31,960
Speaker 1: So we've got to go.

444
00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:36,399
Speaker 4: I've got a life to leave. I just paid it

445
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:39,080
Speaker 4: a pea. I don't really I might go to the

446
00:17:39,119 --> 00:17:42,200
Speaker 4: gym and run or something. Yeah, but it's been fun.

447
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:43,920
Speaker 4: I could talk to you guys, I know, I feel

448
00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:44,520
Speaker 4: like this could.

449
00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:48,000
Speaker 3: Go for hours, but you might have to be oh gosh,

450
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:48,560
Speaker 3: I don't know.

451
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:50,560
Speaker 4: You might not have me back after your rating.

452
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,760
Speaker 3: On Kate out and bring you and the just pretend

453
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:53,680
Speaker 3: you're all.

454
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,120
Speaker 4: Three sisters, three sisters.

455
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:58,880
Speaker 2: The last questions I thought might be helpful to some

456
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:01,080
Speaker 2: of the listeners if they're young, is what are some

457
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:04,080
Speaker 2: ways that girls can tell that boys actually like them?

458
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:09,280
Speaker 4: If your conversation is important, like obviously the conversation it

459
00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,919
Speaker 4: can be good starting off on the computer, on your

460
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:14,159
Speaker 4: phone or whatever, but also making sure you have that

461
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:17,320
Speaker 4: compatibility when you're in person, face to face, and that

462
00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:19,880
Speaker 4: you can you know, like it just depends. But there's

463
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:22,280
Speaker 4: no rush at or anyone listening out there, like you've

464
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:26,040
Speaker 4: got plenty of time to worry about boyfriends and girlfriends.

465
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,280
Speaker 4: But yeah, there is someone that you're keen on and

466
00:18:28,359 --> 00:18:30,240
Speaker 4: even just having a chat but keeping it catch you

467
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:32,280
Speaker 4: don't want to come into strong but I think just

468
00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:35,080
Speaker 4: you know, you can just say, oh, like, yeah, you're

469
00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:37,080
Speaker 4: fun to hang out with, and then just see the vibes.

470
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,080
Speaker 4: I don't know this is so, I'm so I don't

471
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:39,560
Speaker 4: know if.

472
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,400
Speaker 2: This is so. That is I was going to say,

473
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:44,160
Speaker 2: that's a really good point though about the talking online,

474
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,600
Speaker 2: because I feel like even more so people do either

475
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,040
Speaker 2: you know, dropping or whatever what is it called, like

476
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:54,879
Speaker 2: slip into the deeps, got into the dms or whatever.

477
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,840
Speaker 2: But yeah, sometimes you can have a really good conversation

478
00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:00,359
Speaker 2: with someone over messenger and then you meet up Oh.

479
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:01,399
Speaker 1: My god, is this the same person?

480
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:01,800
Speaker 4: Yeah.

481
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,680
Speaker 2: But that being said, going back to like how to

482
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,520
Speaker 2: tell if they like you, I think if you're already

483
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:08,800
Speaker 2: having doubts and you're already having that kind of gut

484
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:11,280
Speaker 2: feeling that perhaps they're not interested, I think you've maybe

485
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:13,000
Speaker 2: sometimes got to listen to that, because I feel like

486
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:16,240
Speaker 2: if someone is interested in you, they'll make it obvious,

487
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:18,400
Speaker 2: they'll get back to your messages promptly.

488
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,399
Speaker 1: They won't kind of I don't know.

489
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:22,840
Speaker 4: I feel like, yeah, I feel like that gut feeling.

490
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:23,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.

491
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,600
Speaker 2: I've been in situations where people haven't replied or played games.

492
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,879
Speaker 2: And then boys, Yeah, and when you get into a

493
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,760
Speaker 2: relationship where you feel comfortable and it's a good relationship,

494
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,199
Speaker 2: you realize that, Okay, those guys perhaps just weren't that

495
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,359
Speaker 2: keen on me, or we're looking for something that I

496
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:38,200
Speaker 2: wasn't looking for.

497
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:41,600
Speaker 4: So yeah, and I think girls have such good intuition

498
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:43,680
Speaker 4: boys as well, probably as well. I'm not sure it's

499
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:46,000
Speaker 4: like to be a fellow, but yeah, like I know,

500
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,639
Speaker 4: you know, you're always trust your gut, I think, and

501
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:50,879
Speaker 4: at the end of the day, sometimes we can overthink things,

502
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:53,280
Speaker 4: but I think trust your gut. But yeah, also take

503
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:56,120
Speaker 4: a chance. That's probably my best advice for anyone out

504
00:19:56,119 --> 00:19:58,919
Speaker 4: there that's keen. But obviously there's no rush to meet anyone.

505
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:00,720
Speaker 4: But if you do meet someone that you get along

506
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:03,199
Speaker 4: with and you're looking for maybe a partner or just

507
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,520
Speaker 4: a good relationship, yeah, give him a go. And if

508
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:07,440
Speaker 4: even if it's someone that you might not share common

509
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:10,399
Speaker 4: ground with, Like in the past, I've sometimes always dated

510
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,879
Speaker 4: creative people, but then sometimes you meet someone else that

511
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,880
Speaker 4: might offer something else that you never even knew you expected,

512
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,919
Speaker 4: so I think that's really cool as well. So just

513
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:21,040
Speaker 4: giving people a chance and yeah, but also respecting yourself

514
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,200
Speaker 4: enough to know when to leave, and also leave with

515
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:25,760
Speaker 4: dignity and treat them with respect as well. So no

516
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:26,760
Speaker 4: one's feelings are hurt.

517
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:28,520
Speaker 2: But such a good point though, because I feel like

518
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,720
Speaker 2: you do have to be happy within yourself. You can't

519
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,800
Speaker 2: just want someone to fix all of your problems.

520
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:33,560
Speaker 3: That's so true.

521
00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:36,400
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I was gonna say now, I hope one

522
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,800
Speaker 2: of Kate's colleagues he's got a big crush on Elbert's

523
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 2: this because he might be able to take some He

524
00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:46,240
Speaker 2: might be taking some notes down and I won't name names,

525
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:47,800
Speaker 2: but if you're listening, just take note.

526
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,280
Speaker 4: No no, oh god, I to slide into Ellen's I'm

527
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:54,680
Speaker 4: just joke. He doesn't know.

528
00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,520
Speaker 3: Well, thank you so well to care.

529
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:01,320
Speaker 4: Think it's been so much fun.

530
00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:03,520
Speaker 3: It's very valuable advice. I feel like we have to

531
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:06,320
Speaker 3: have you on the show again. I'm happy to come down.

532
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:09,919
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've enjoyed this sugar free marshmallows, the chocolate, and

533
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:12,200
Speaker 4: I alsoy I cracked into the chocol that you gave

534
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:15,840
Speaker 4: me to so working hard at the gym past.

535
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:22,320
Speaker 1: Thanks again, thank you, thank you so much for listening.

536
00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:25,119
Speaker 2: If you have enjoyed today's episode, please leave us a

537
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:26,720
Speaker 2: rating and subscribe.

538
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:28,320
Speaker 1: We would also absolutely love

539
00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:30,520
Speaker 2: It if you could take an Instagram post of where

540
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,760
Speaker 2: you've been listening from today and tag us out Outspoken

541
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:45,600
Speaker 2: Underscore The Underscore Podcast