1 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:07,080 Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the 2 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:10,560 Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers. 3 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:13,000 Speaker 2: Now, Hello the Stocks. Justin Colson, the parenting expert on 4 00:00:13,039 --> 00:00:18,080 Speaker 2: Channel Line's Parental Guidance and author of six books. Seventh 5 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:19,919 Speaker 2: book comes out in a couple of weeks time. Stay 6 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 2: tuned to the podcast for more. Recently, we were having 7 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:27,080 Speaker 2: a conversation on the Happy Families podcast and I just 8 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:29,600 Speaker 2: loved it. Decided to share a bit more about this. 9 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:33,360 Speaker 2: A highlight from the Happy Families Podcast. Mark McCrindle is 10 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 2: the author of the book Generation Alpha. Mark talked about 11 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:40,479 Speaker 2: raising a Generation Alpha child and the importance of them 12 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:44,599 Speaker 2: being well developed across a range of experiences. It all 13 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:46,519 Speaker 2: came from episode two hundred and ninety four. 14 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,760 Speaker 1: All the parents are really focused when it comes to education. 15 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,960 Speaker 1: Are looking for an outcome that will create a holistic 16 00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:55,520 Speaker 1: development in their child, you know, and I think that's important. 17 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,080 Speaker 1: They don't just want the numerous in literacy. They don't 18 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:00,480 Speaker 1: just want better and better exam results. They want their 19 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:04,400 Speaker 1: child to develop in perhaps music or artistic areas. They 20 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:06,639 Speaker 1: want them to develop spiritually. They want them to develop 21 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:11,200 Speaker 1: socially and with sporting or coordination skills, and I think 22 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:14,240 Speaker 1: that's important, that's essential, and they need to think about 23 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:17,000 Speaker 1: that in their own raising of the children. In other words, 24 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:20,240 Speaker 1: we want our children to really be well developed across 25 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:23,520 Speaker 1: a broad range of areas, not just to be digitally 26 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:28,040 Speaker 1: savvy and you know, academically focused, because you know, the 27 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:31,560 Speaker 1: future is going to belong to those who can be leaders, 28 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:38,280 Speaker 1: make decisions, understand complexity, adapt relate well across diversity, which 29 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:42,000 Speaker 1: is our modern community and workplace, and that is best 30 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:46,520 Speaker 1: developed by getting a range of experiences, going you know, 31 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:50,520 Speaker 1: to camps and having broader experiences, whether that be in 32 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:56,040 Speaker 1: social context or youth development programs, being able to engage 33 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:58,000 Speaker 1: in the outdoors, you know, not just spend all the 34 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:00,800 Speaker 1: time on screens and indoors. So if we can give 35 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:03,720 Speaker 1: our children these broader experiences, that will set them up 36 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:06,280 Speaker 1: well to holistically flourish. Mark. 37 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,480 Speaker 2: I know that there's more that we could talk about 38 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:10,679 Speaker 2: with Generation Alf, but I really want to pick you 39 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 2: up on some of the things that you've highlighted there 40 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:16,880 Speaker 2: because of just the supreme importance of what you've highlighted 41 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:20,160 Speaker 2: and the fact that our world seems to be moving 42 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:23,360 Speaker 2: away from much of what you've described. We seem to 43 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:26,320 Speaker 2: be pushing for early specialization. We seem to be focusing 44 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:29,000 Speaker 2: our children on early technical skills. They're not getting that 45 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:34,320 Speaker 2: holistic childhood because we're so focused on unintentionally applying pressure 46 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:36,760 Speaker 2: with the best of intentions so that they can be successful. 47 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 2: But it doesn't seem to me that as parents in 48 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:45,560 Speaker 2: today's increasingly busy pressured world, that we're getting that right. 49 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 2: When you were doing your research, do anything stand out 50 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,280 Speaker 2: to you along those lines that you could point to 51 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:53,320 Speaker 2: that might be helpful for parents to maybe pull back 52 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:54,919 Speaker 2: a bit where they need to and get the balance right. 53 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:59,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, And I think it is particularly around controlling 54 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:02,639 Speaker 1: or at least bracketing the use of screens in their world, 55 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:05,600 Speaker 1: because we found in this research that's seventy five percent 56 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:09,440 Speaker 1: of the discretionary time, the after school, after chores time 57 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,440 Speaker 1: that children have is spent on screens. So if you 58 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:14,520 Speaker 1: give your child a choice, or if you give them 59 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:16,520 Speaker 1: free time, they're going to grab the screen. That's the 60 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 1: go to. It's easy, it's it's addictive in terms of 61 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:24,560 Speaker 1: its interaction, and therefore, if we can constrain that somewhat, 62 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,960 Speaker 1: it'll free up space to do those other things. So 63 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:30,240 Speaker 1: that they can holistically develop, which is so key are 64 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 1: we say in the book we got lots of tips 65 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,120 Speaker 1: in it, but partly it's at things like setting the 66 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 1: example ourselves. A lot of the times, you know, we 67 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,480 Speaker 1: stort of saying, hey, off the screen while we're scrolling 68 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,400 Speaker 1: through something. If we can put them to bed the 69 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:45,360 Speaker 1: way our grandparents did you know a good old story 70 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:50,080 Speaker 1: and reflecting on the day, if we can have maybe 71 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:53,040 Speaker 1: a reset, maybe we're all just two screen addicted. Maybe 72 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 1: we have screen free Sundays, or maybe we have a 73 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:59,240 Speaker 1: three day break in the holidays where there's just no screens. 74 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:02,040 Speaker 1: Maybe we use the screens, but we have a shared 75 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,280 Speaker 1: screen experience. Hey, we're going to watch a family movie 76 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:07,960 Speaker 1: night on Friday night instead of everyone just just dissipating 77 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 1: off to their own screen experience. We put in the 78 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:13,200 Speaker 1: book a four letter acronym that came through the research 79 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:16,960 Speaker 1: that might help parents DCBA, and the D stands for 80 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:20,599 Speaker 1: delay the access to the device or just limit the 81 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:23,320 Speaker 1: device used. Rather than give the eight or nine or 82 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:25,560 Speaker 1: ten year old their own device, wait until they maybe 83 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,039 Speaker 1: hit the teenagers, if we can sure they might for 84 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:31,040 Speaker 1: their schooling need access to ours or for a little 85 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,000 Speaker 1: bit of that screen time, but at least if it's 86 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,719 Speaker 1: not their own, they don't have twenty four seven use 87 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:37,800 Speaker 1: of it, and that's going to delay some of the use. 88 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:41,000 Speaker 1: And then the C is communicate the values, communicate what 89 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:42,839 Speaker 1: we're about so that they can start to make the 90 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:46,120 Speaker 1: right decisions as to what games or interactions they have 91 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:48,800 Speaker 1: and how they behave online. That the B is the 92 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 1: behavioral skills. Let's give them some skills, some social skills 93 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:54,839 Speaker 1: so that they can self limit and when they have 94 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,599 Speaker 1: the urge just to reach for the screen, they can say, actually, 95 00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:59,640 Speaker 1: I've learned to go for a walk or kick a 96 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:03,200 Speaker 1: socle all around us something else. So behavioral skills, because 97 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:06,360 Speaker 1: their life is going to be filled with impulses and 98 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:10,360 Speaker 1: with the opportunities just to grab onto what makes them 99 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 1: feel good. But if they can develop some self restraint, 100 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:16,880 Speaker 1: that's great. And the A stands for accountability. Ultimately, parents 101 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:20,000 Speaker 1: have to provide a safe environment for the children. And 102 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,760 Speaker 1: if we can have accountability around how much time they're spending, 103 00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:25,120 Speaker 1: or where they're going, or even checking on some of 104 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:28,000 Speaker 1: the social media or some of the screen use, that's 105 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:30,080 Speaker 1: going to be healthy for them and keep them accountable 106 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:33,039 Speaker 1: as they make their own improved choices in life. 107 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:37,159 Speaker 2: That's Mark McCrindle, the author of Generation Alpha, on episode 108 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:40,120 Speaker 2: two hundred and ninety four of the Happy Families podcast. 109 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 2: Imagine a relationship where you felt seen, heard, and valued. 110 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:51,520 Speaker 2: One where as your partner enters the front door, they 111 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:55,560 Speaker 2: see you and their eyes light up. A relationship like 112 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:58,200 Speaker 2: that is a gift. If you don't have it, now 113 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 2: you can. The Happy Family's webinar Better Together gives you 114 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,839 Speaker 2: the insight, tools and support you need to have a 115 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:10,440 Speaker 2: happier relationship, Available now at the Happy Family's webshop. The 116 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:14,880 Speaker 2: Happy Families membership is available right now. It's thirteen dollars 117 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:17,240 Speaker 2: a month for a basic membership or eighteen dollars a 118 00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:20,599 Speaker 2: month for a premium membership. With that membership, you get 119 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:24,279 Speaker 2: so much value to make your family happier. You'll receive 120 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:27,600 Speaker 2: a monthly webinar. Recently, we've been talking about everything from 121 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 2: emotion coaching to carrots and sticks. We've been talking about 122 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,400 Speaker 2: how to guide our children successfully, what to do about 123 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,520 Speaker 2: praising our kids, why that's a problem, how to minimize control, 124 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:39,200 Speaker 2: why competition can undermine our kids well being, and so 125 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,520 Speaker 2: much more, and the rest of this year's webinars have 126 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,760 Speaker 2: been penciled into the calendar, and you wouldn't believe how 127 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,400 Speaker 2: great the content will be. Normally, it's thirty bucks a 128 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,480 Speaker 2: month for a webinar. If you are a Happy Family's member, 129 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:53,080 Speaker 2: it's only thirteen dollars or eighteen dollars. But on top 130 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:56,240 Speaker 2: of the webinars, you also receive a monthly Q and 131 00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:58,159 Speaker 2: A with Me. And if it's not a Q and A, 132 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:00,960 Speaker 2: it's an Ask the Expert, where I bring in experts 133 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 2: who know how to answer the questions that you have 134 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:07,200 Speaker 2: about specific topics like technology, or friendships or school issues, 135 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,920 Speaker 2: and the list goes on and on. Oh, by the way, 136 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:11,720 Speaker 2: we also do this thing once a quarter called a 137 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 2: role play with Doctor j. Two or three people get 138 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:17,360 Speaker 2: to spend some time while everyone else takes notes and 139 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 2: listens carefully as we go through role plays. Here's what 140 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,840 Speaker 2: you do when you kids are having a hard time. 141 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:24,680 Speaker 2: They tell me what their problem is, and then I 142 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,560 Speaker 2: roll play it as if they're the kid and I'm 143 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,520 Speaker 2: the parent, and then we swap so they get to 144 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:30,720 Speaker 2: discover just how hard it is to do it, so 145 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:32,440 Speaker 2: that we can help you to improve your parenting and 146 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:34,720 Speaker 2: progress it in the right direction, role play with doctor 147 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:38,280 Speaker 2: j A, Doctor JQ and A, and ask the expert. 148 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:41,440 Speaker 2: That's all part of the Happy Family's Premium membership. On 149 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:43,080 Speaker 2: top of that, if you're a premium member, you get 150 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:46,280 Speaker 2: access to our entire webinar video library. We are talking 151 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:49,440 Speaker 2: thousands of dollars worth of webinars, all sitting there waiting 152 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:51,120 Speaker 2: for you to consume so that you can get yourself 153 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,800 Speaker 2: essentially a PhD in parenting. And the list goes on. 154 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:56,560 Speaker 2: There's more stuff than I have time to tell you about. 155 00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:58,320 Speaker 2: The value is amazing. Oh by the way, if you 156 00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:00,760 Speaker 2: get a twelve month membership, we'll give you two months free. 157 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:03,840 Speaker 2: So you pay upfront and instead of paying twelve times 158 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,840 Speaker 2: thirteen or twelve times eighteen. I can't do the mask, 159 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:08,080 Speaker 2: but whatever it is, you just pay one hundred and 160 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:10,040 Speaker 2: thirty or one hundred and eighty bucks. We times are 161 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:12,240 Speaker 2: by ten instead of by twelve. You save money. It's 162 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:14,400 Speaker 2: all there. So that's the Happy Families membership. We don't 163 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:16,800 Speaker 2: usually do pretty hard seals on the podcast, but a 164 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 2: couple of times during these school holidays, I wanted to 165 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:20,960 Speaker 2: make sure that you're aware of it because there's so 166 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,720 Speaker 2: much value and it makes such a difference in people's lives. 167 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:26,920 Speaker 2: The Happy Families membership. You can find it online at 168 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:30,560 Speaker 2: happy families dot com dot au. The Happy Families podcast 169 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:32,760 Speaker 2: is produced by Justin Ruhland from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce 170 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:35,560 Speaker 2: is our executive producer and if you want more info 171 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,640 Speaker 2: about making your family happy, I check out our memberships 172 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:42,120 Speaker 2: or just visit us at happy families dot com dot au.