WEBVTT - Is ‘I’d Prefer Not’ Passive Aggressive or Polite? 😕 0:00:01.080 --> 0:00:03.960 Flex and Frooms the Flex and Frooms catch up Podcastle 0:00:04.440 --> 0:00:05.400 and Rooms. 0:00:06.600 --> 0:00:10.039 It is Flexing Frooms on KTA. How much water do 0:00:10.080 --> 0:00:13.880 we need to drink to actually feel hydrated not be hydrated? 0:00:13.920 --> 0:00:16.159 That is a question we will never have an answer to. 0:00:16.560 --> 0:00:18.200 I think it's two leaders to. 0:00:18.480 --> 0:00:21.680 Feel hydrated, not be hydrated. The only time I've ever 0:00:21.720 --> 0:00:25.400 felt super hydrated was when I was like guzzling so 0:00:25.680 --> 0:00:29.680 much water. I would say I probably had four leaders 0:00:29.680 --> 0:00:31.720 and I couldn't stop peeing. I had a natural high 0:00:31.760 --> 0:00:33.519 and there was nothing like it, and I said, there 0:00:33.560 --> 0:00:35.560 is something here, There is something with this. 0:00:35.680 --> 0:00:37.559 Isn't it crazy how doing things that you should do 0:00:38.200 --> 0:00:39.000 makes you feel amazing? 0:00:39.000 --> 0:00:41.000 But I couldn't do anything else but pee that whole day. 0:00:41.200 --> 0:00:44.360 So guys, I know this is consuming. I can't find 0:00:44.360 --> 0:00:46.920 this back of the water bottle. Probably left it upstairs. 0:00:46.960 --> 0:00:49.280 It's gone missing up for the best. Welcome to the 0:00:49.320 --> 0:00:53.960 podcast Let's Go. You're listening to Flex and Frooms on CATA. 0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:56.800 I'm a very important question for you miss through me please. 0:00:56.840 --> 0:01:01.320 It involves language and intention. If somebody uses the phrase 0:01:01.480 --> 0:01:08.040 I prefer not to, is that passive, aggressive or polite? 0:01:08.400 --> 0:01:10.240 Go with your gut to begin with then we can 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:11.039 unpack later on. 0:01:11.319 --> 0:01:15.160 I'm gonna say, right off the gut, Right off the gut, 0:01:16.040 --> 0:01:19.039 I think it's Is it like passive? 0:01:19.520 --> 0:01:20.200 Is it passive? 0:01:20.319 --> 0:01:22.880 Is it quite aggressive in nature? Or polite? 0:01:23.560 --> 0:01:25.800 It depends on who's saying it, But my gut would say. 0:01:25.800 --> 0:01:28.040 Just generally, because we're not it's a phrase. 0:01:28.680 --> 0:01:31.679 I guess it's polite then, but I don't hear it 0:01:31.760 --> 0:01:36.680 much in our colloquial language system in Australia Australia. 0:01:36.840 --> 0:01:38.720 I was thinking about it before because, as you know, 0:01:38.760 --> 0:01:41.560 I love language. I love figure out different ways to communicate, 0:01:41.920 --> 0:01:46.000 and I find myself being hyper aware of when language 0:01:46.040 --> 0:01:50.080 isn't making sense. So, for example, today I asked you, 0:01:50.880 --> 0:01:54.400 do you want a coffee? And you said I'm good, 0:01:54.880 --> 0:01:57.760 And it reminded me of a time where my childhood 0:01:57.800 --> 0:02:00.760 best friend's mum asked me if I want some food 0:02:00.840 --> 0:02:02.560 and I said, no, I'm good. She said is that 0:02:02.600 --> 0:02:05.920 a yes or a no? And I said it's a nose. 0:02:06.040 --> 0:02:08.600 She's like, okay, then say no, thank you, and I 0:02:08.600 --> 0:02:13.040 said she's right because I'm good. Yes. Colloquially, we kind 0:02:13.040 --> 0:02:15.880 of know it means thank you for asking me. But 0:02:15.960 --> 0:02:18.320 I don't want any But does it? 0:02:18.360 --> 0:02:19.480 Were you an impolite child? 0:02:20.880 --> 0:02:23.639 No, it wasn't, but it just different households. Like when 0:02:23.639 --> 0:02:25.919 you're eleven and you go to your friend's house, and 0:02:26.440 --> 0:02:28.799 you know, in my house, the most impolite thing you'd 0:02:28.840 --> 0:02:33.160 do would decline food and decline conversation. But in other households, 0:02:33.600 --> 0:02:37.040 to impose conversation onto the parent would be impolite. 0:02:37.400 --> 0:02:39.240 Yeah, children that are just a little too. 0:02:39.360 --> 0:02:42.720 Yeah, too comfortable calling them by their first name and 0:02:43.200 --> 0:02:45.160 all of these things, right, Like I call my mom 0:02:45.160 --> 0:02:47.400 by my first by her first name because we're buddy 0:02:47.440 --> 0:02:51.840 is now, But culturally that's very impolite, right, you call 0:02:51.880 --> 0:02:56.920 everybody auntie uncle, right, And so with I'd prefer not to. 0:02:58.080 --> 0:02:59.840 I was thinking of a conversation that I had had 0:03:00.160 --> 0:03:03.520 with someone and they were asking me if I wanted 0:03:03.560 --> 0:03:06.680 to go somewhere, and this was like an acquaintance, maybe 0:03:06.680 --> 0:03:10.360 like a party friend or something, and I thought about 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:12.400 it and I was like, I just prefer not to. 0:03:13.320 --> 0:03:16.240 And I could tell by their face what I was 0:03:16.240 --> 0:03:21.320 communicating as polite was coming across quite impolite, because it 0:03:21.400 --> 0:03:23.720 was a place that I knew that the people there 0:03:23.800 --> 0:03:26.600 aren't quite nice, and it's always been of like hubub 0:03:26.680 --> 0:03:28.440 to go in and it's just the whole thing. So 0:03:28.520 --> 0:03:30.160 if we, if we, if you really want to go, 0:03:30.200 --> 0:03:32.280 I'll go, but I would just prefer not to. So 0:03:32.320 --> 0:03:35.160 what did you say again, I just prefer not to, 0:03:35.520 --> 0:03:38.720 I reckon and the whole Like in my head it 0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:42.080 was it was the most honest, succinct way to say it. 0:03:42.400 --> 0:03:45.000 But I could just tell by their face it sounded like, 0:03:45.280 --> 0:03:47.840 stop asking me to do dumb things. Your body gumb back. 0:03:49.160 --> 0:03:51.160 It sounds like when you don't want to sign up 0:03:51.160 --> 0:03:52.560 to an email when you're. 0:03:52.400 --> 0:03:54.800 Like on a website. I prefer not to, prefer not to. 0:03:55.400 --> 0:04:00.800 I think Australian's use of language is unlike like obviously 0:04:00.880 --> 0:04:03.120 every country, every place in the world has it differently, 0:04:03.160 --> 0:04:07.280 but like our sense of humor is so obvious in 0:04:07.320 --> 0:04:09.560 the way that we speak yeah, in a way that 0:04:10.520 --> 0:04:14.280 huh yeah, like like for example, yeah nah oh yeah. 0:04:14.320 --> 0:04:19.000 Like I feel like to very Australianized Australians who have 0:04:19.160 --> 0:04:21.560 like assimilated into aquaculture. 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:26.000 Sure, aquaculture, let's define it like that. The mate v 0:04:26.200 --> 0:04:30.159 khunt paradox is a big one, a very it's a 0:04:30.240 --> 0:04:32.920 very kind of like a course, these things very much suit, 0:04:32.960 --> 0:04:34.480 like a very coarse accent. 0:04:35.080 --> 0:04:38.200 Yeah, but also I know what people I don't like 0:04:38.240 --> 0:04:41.560 the sea word. I like, I'm vehemently opposed to it 0:04:41.920 --> 0:04:44.440 because I know that people do it for shock value. 0:04:45.040 --> 0:04:48.640 We have been so indoctrinated into appropriate speech that to 0:04:48.760 --> 0:04:50.560 use the sea word, you know what you're doing. You 0:04:50.560 --> 0:04:53.039 want to appear like I'm just an anarchist, like I 0:04:53.040 --> 0:04:56.520 don't really care, or we say whatever. Especially Australians interacting 0:04:56.600 --> 0:04:59.680 with people who aren't Australian. They think it's such a 0:04:59.760 --> 0:05:03.919 sit of being cool and quirky. Even my friends do it. 0:05:03.920 --> 0:05:05.719 I'm like, you think you're a big dog and it's 0:05:05.720 --> 0:05:07.200 coming across so grootty. 0:05:07.360 --> 0:05:09.360 So I wouldn't say it. I try to say it 0:05:09.360 --> 0:05:11.320 with other people that say it. Obviously I say it 0:05:11.360 --> 0:05:16.000 when I'm here, but I try to. I don't know, 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:18.840 it feels, it feels. I'm obviously very desensitized to it, 0:05:20.480 --> 0:05:23.080 and I almost think it's cute, but I can see, 0:05:23.160 --> 0:05:25.960 but I will be conscious of who I use it around, 0:05:25.960 --> 0:05:29.000 because I know for some people it isn't cute. Yeah, 0:05:29.480 --> 0:05:31.680 but like around the house, throw it around, you. 0:05:31.640 --> 0:05:35.640 Know, really yeah, yeah, it'd be crazy about that. 0:05:36.360 --> 0:05:39.360 So I think It's like I feel like I've seen 0:05:39.360 --> 0:05:43.360 a TikTok, which is like Australians say sure when like sorry, 0:05:43.520 --> 0:05:49.200 Americans say sure, whereas Australian say yeah, no worries, no worries, 0:05:49.400 --> 0:05:52.359 and the Americans like, what the fuck is that? Yeah, 0:05:52.720 --> 0:05:54.880 no stress, It's like no stress. 0:05:54.960 --> 0:05:55.120 Yeah. 0:05:55.120 --> 0:05:57.159 So I think like you saying I prefer not to 0:05:58.480 --> 0:06:00.479 in terms of like, it don't. 0:06:00.320 --> 0:06:03.919 Sounds so indirect, like so passive aggressive, but it is 0:06:03.960 --> 0:06:06.520 actually so direct, like I'm saying exactly what I mean. 0:06:06.560 --> 0:06:09.920 I would prefer not to. It's not a no. So 0:06:10.080 --> 0:06:11.800 if you ask me, do you want to eat again? 0:06:11.839 --> 0:06:15.240 I prefer not to. But if we're going out to dinner, like. 0:06:15.720 --> 0:06:17.960 More it sounds like British or something. 0:06:18.080 --> 0:06:19.039 Yeah, perhaps not to. 0:06:19.440 --> 0:06:21.839 But the more that I the more that I speak, 0:06:22.000 --> 0:06:25.520 the well I use language. I just don't feel like 0:06:25.560 --> 0:06:29.760 we're using colloquial language. Well. I think it gets to 0:06:29.800 --> 0:06:32.520 a point of obsolescence where what we're saying has no 0:06:32.640 --> 0:06:35.840 meaning outside of the context people who understand, like the 0:06:35.960 --> 0:06:39.800 drink is drinking funny. It's transcended so far out of 0:06:39.800 --> 0:06:42.839 the realm of normal sense that I don't think people 0:06:42.960 --> 0:06:46.600 realize that they don't know how to speak anymore, and 0:06:46.640 --> 0:06:50.279 so when they're encountering plain speech, it's far more cryptic 0:06:51.040 --> 0:06:54.880 then me. Then for me to say that out for eats, 0:06:55.000 --> 0:06:57.080 I say, I see, I see, so you know exactly 0:06:57.120 --> 0:07:00.080 what I'm saying there. But if I said you know, so, 0:07:00.920 --> 0:07:03.240 that's a I prefer not to You're like, what do 0:07:03.279 --> 0:07:03.760 you mean? 0:07:04.440 --> 0:07:07.200 Well, it's like it's like an inside joke, that kind 0:07:07.200 --> 0:07:07.719 of language. 0:07:08.080 --> 0:07:10.440 But that's what I'm saying. It should be an inside joke, 0:07:10.480 --> 0:07:13.280 but now it's transcended people. You know, they're doing the 0:07:13.600 --> 0:07:17.240 millennials gen z in the workplace memes because I don't 0:07:17.240 --> 0:07:22.600 think that we're aware of communication as a tool, like 0:07:22.920 --> 0:07:25.720 you should be trying to speak in a way that 0:07:25.800 --> 0:07:29.320 when the message lands with the recipient, it's understood. And 0:07:29.360 --> 0:07:31.280 I feel like a lot of us don't take that care. 0:07:31.760 --> 0:07:34.040 But it's also different across like where you are and 0:07:34.080 --> 0:07:35.760 who you're speaking to, right, so like. 0:07:36.440 --> 0:07:38.480 It should be, but I don't think it is. I mean, 0:07:38.600 --> 0:07:40.280 like like you said, with the C word, I would 0:07:40.360 --> 0:07:45.360 take care to not say it in front of certain people. Fantastic, yes, fantastic, 0:07:46.160 --> 0:07:49.320 But I think that what ends up happening is and 0:07:49.360 --> 0:07:53.240 this is a slight caveat that people forget that language 0:07:53.240 --> 0:07:56.240 is to help people understand you, not to exclude them, 0:07:56.280 --> 0:07:58.400 and it goes for most like speaking in a way 0:07:58.400 --> 0:08:00.360 that's far too academic, or speaking a way that's just 0:08:00.440 --> 0:08:03.560 like almost too sarcastic. Like all of this distance is 0:08:03.600 --> 0:08:06.840 the person from like getting involved. But that the situation 0:08:06.880 --> 0:08:08.960 I'm talking about in particular was such an interesting one 0:08:09.240 --> 0:08:10.800 because I was like, I don't know how to say 0:08:10.800 --> 0:08:14.280 this any I can say it differently, but I wonder 0:08:14.520 --> 0:08:16.720 if you would if she would believe me in that moment. 0:08:17.480 --> 0:08:19.320 I think a way that like if I was if 0:08:19.360 --> 0:08:21.040 I felt the same sentiment as you and I wanted 0:08:21.040 --> 0:08:23.040 to say it, I would I would go the root 0:08:23.080 --> 0:08:24.280 of like putting it back on myself. 0:08:24.280 --> 0:08:29.560 I'd be like, oh, honor, I reckon like honor? What 0:08:29.560 --> 0:08:31.080 would I even say if. 0:08:30.960 --> 0:08:33.160 I, let's say, I'm trying to like we have plans 0:08:33.280 --> 0:08:37.280 to go somewhere somewhere dinner, drinks, bar, whatever, and you're like, 0:08:37.280 --> 0:08:39.480 oh what about this place and you're like really excited 0:08:39.480 --> 0:08:42.400 by it? Or what if I'm like oh what about 0:08:42.440 --> 0:08:44.760 this place? And I'm like, oh what at this and 0:08:44.800 --> 0:08:47.160 you're like, of all places you want to go that 0:08:47.520 --> 0:08:48.640 it sits quite low. 0:08:49.240 --> 0:08:50.400 Yeah, yeah, what would you say? 0:08:50.920 --> 0:08:53.560 I'd say, Oh, I actually reckon, Like my voice goes 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:55.559 up mmmmm when I'm like trying, and I'll put it 0:08:55.600 --> 0:08:56.600 back on myself. 0:08:56.400 --> 0:08:58.280 And say, what, oh I reckon? 0:08:59.400 --> 0:09:02.280 I feel like, have you been to this place? Mmm? 0:09:02.679 --> 0:09:03.240 The deflect? 0:09:03.280 --> 0:09:05.760 What would you do Brookie? Leave bruise out of this one? 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:06.920 Yeah? 0:09:07.440 --> 0:09:09.600 Only one person must be implicated at a time here 0:09:09.600 --> 0:09:10.560 on the Flex and Fim Show. 0:09:10.640 --> 0:09:14.880 It's tricky though, because plain speech is not considered plain 0:09:15.120 --> 0:09:19.560 and convoluted language. We're assuming we understand, but do we 0:09:19.600 --> 0:09:20.280 really do? 0:09:20.280 --> 0:09:20.640 You know what? 0:09:20.720 --> 0:09:22.840 Though, I must say, when I saw this, it just 0:09:22.880 --> 0:09:24.600 made me think, you know those tests that you have 0:09:24.679 --> 0:09:27.880 and it's like yes, no to say. 0:09:28.640 --> 0:09:32.040 I always thought it was so passive aggressive, prefer not 0:09:32.120 --> 0:09:32.840 to say. 0:09:32.960 --> 0:09:34.640 Yeah. I guess it's one of those things where we 0:09:35.000 --> 0:09:37.360 don't say it. We might read the phrase, but you're 0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:38.760 not saying I'd prefer not to. 0:09:39.559 --> 0:09:40.720 It's like pleading the fifth. 0:09:40.960 --> 0:09:43.920 Yeah, it's like what pleading the fifth? 0:09:44.000 --> 0:09:44.280 What's that? 0:09:47.320 --> 0:09:47.760 Education? 0:09:47.960 --> 0:09:48.760 One final thing? 0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:49.640 And of course. 0:09:51.040 --> 0:09:55.400 I don't like how website nowadays are talking as people 0:09:55.640 --> 0:09:57.199 like I'll go on like I think it's like pretty 0:09:57.200 --> 0:09:59.640 little things and they're like, hey, Dole, I'm like, you're 0:09:59.679 --> 0:10:02.400 blurring the lines. Like I need you to communicate properly 0:10:02.840 --> 0:10:06.559 and then use the internet like the US use the 0:10:06.559 --> 0:10:09.040 common everyday man use the internet. 0:10:09.120 --> 0:10:09.600 It makes the. 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:15.800 Issue with inclusion. We can't all but using the same languish. 0:10:16.480 --> 0:10:21.040 But it's interesting because right, like, imagine being a non 0:10:21.120 --> 0:10:25.720 native English speaker babes. Yeah, the average English speakers barely 0:10:25.760 --> 0:10:28.720 have a grip on what they're communicating. And why if 0:10:28.760 --> 0:10:31.720 I if I said, explain to your mum what it 0:10:31.760 --> 0:10:32.960 gives means. 0:10:34.000 --> 0:10:35.520 Yeah, she'd be having a hard time, But. 0:10:35.559 --> 0:10:36.520 You'd be having a hard time. 0:10:36.520 --> 0:10:39.240 What does it gives me? Yeah, I couldn't even tell you. 0:10:40.960 --> 0:10:42.000 I couldn't even tell you. 0:10:42.440 --> 0:10:44.400 That is the definition of a club word. 0:10:46.080 --> 0:10:48.959 And it needs to stay in its in its little ecosystem. 0:10:49.240 --> 0:10:50.360 You're really gonna push myself. 0:10:50.360 --> 0:10:53.560 I get it when I'm like, I find it easier 0:10:53.600 --> 0:10:56.000 to be more discerning with my words when I'm writing, 0:10:56.040 --> 0:10:58.280 which is something I often say to you. But even 0:10:58.280 --> 0:11:00.600 the things that you and I say on the show, 0:11:00.640 --> 0:11:03.640 we have a particular language that listeners would know now 0:11:03.760 --> 0:11:06.600 because they've been listening to us since the inception. Knock knock, 0:11:07.120 --> 0:11:09.840 nudge nudge. Friends, you can always go back into the discography. 0:11:11.600 --> 0:11:14.959 But yeah, I like that you like language because it's 0:11:14.960 --> 0:11:16.800 something that we use that we don't really think about. 0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:20.600 Yeah, but what's the point lacking language? Even nobody misstad 0:11:22.240 --> 0:11:24.560 trying to communicate. God, I've had a good crid ages. 0:11:24.960 --> 0:11:26.800 I get on it. I can kick you onto the 0:11:26.800 --> 0:11:27.320 tape of fields. 0:11:27.360 --> 0:11:29.400 No, I want one, like an emotional one like at 0:11:29.440 --> 0:11:31.640 my quarm No, no, take it back. 0:11:31.880 --> 0:11:33.440 That's like when I was like a few months ago. 0:11:33.480 --> 0:11:35.280 I really want to like have a crush and like 0:11:35.440 --> 0:11:36.360 get my heart broken. 0:11:37.120 --> 0:11:39.600 Yeah, yeah, I'll take it back you. 0:11:39.640 --> 0:11:44.199 With flex and frooms. Actually, bye, Keita, flex and frooms. 0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:47.360 Flex and frooms. Am I the asshole for giving my 0:11:47.520 --> 0:11:50.480 new boss difficult feedback? This is the question we're answering 0:11:50.520 --> 0:11:53.160 today on flex and frooms. Listen to this. I have 0:11:53.240 --> 0:11:56.600 a new boss. They're about four months in. She's very experienced, 0:11:56.720 --> 0:11:59.240 though not in our specific industry, but her skills are 0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:01.880 very transferred car and I can see why she got 0:12:01.960 --> 0:12:04.439 the job. I think when she gets a bit more 0:12:04.480 --> 0:12:06.920 specific experience here, she'll be very good. And I have 0:12:07.000 --> 0:12:09.800 a lot of respect for her at the moment, though, 0:12:10.040 --> 0:12:11.920 she's still in a watch and learn mode and is 0:12:11.920 --> 0:12:14.400 shadowing us and asking our opinions on things, which is 0:12:14.400 --> 0:12:17.280 better than arrogantly assuming she knows better than people who've 0:12:17.280 --> 0:12:19.800 done it here for years. I'm pleased she's here and 0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:22.480 I want to support her. We've just had a team meeting. 0:12:22.600 --> 0:12:24.600 At the end, she asked her feedback on her performance 0:12:24.600 --> 0:12:26.280 and anything she should start or stop. 0:12:27.160 --> 0:12:27.920 Slippery slope. 0:12:28.720 --> 0:12:31.000 Never like me when I wanted people to send in 0:12:31.160 --> 0:12:32.319 the annoying words that we use. 0:12:32.440 --> 0:12:33.160 Yeah, never. 0:12:33.240 --> 0:12:37.319 Once, everybody else was really effusive. 0:12:39.360 --> 0:12:40.720 Friendly easy. 0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:45.160 Effusive is to be friendly and easy and polite. 0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:49.600 Okay, I like say it says showing or expressing gratitude, pleasure, 0:12:49.679 --> 0:12:52.840 or approval in an unrestrained or heartfelt manner. Okay, so 0:12:52.920 --> 0:12:53.960 like yeah, yeah. 0:12:54.160 --> 0:12:55.320 Holding here alike in it. 0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:59.520 Yeah. Everyone else was really effusive about her people skills 0:12:59.520 --> 0:13:02.040 and how she's making an effort to learn all the processes, 0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:05.800 but no real constructive feedback. I decided to be open 0:13:05.880 --> 0:13:08.280 and honest and I said I agreed about her people skills, 0:13:08.559 --> 0:13:11.000 but I thought that she needed to become more decisive 0:13:11.040 --> 0:13:15.280 about some things, more general transferable things, and stop trying 0:13:15.320 --> 0:13:17.840 to always seek a consensus because it was making our 0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:21.840 meetings take too long. She looked a bit upset initially, 0:13:22.120 --> 0:13:24.680 but then ask some questions about what I said and 0:13:24.720 --> 0:13:27.720 summarized her understanding. I thought the message had got through 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:29.840 and I felt she would try and act on the feedback. 0:13:30.240 --> 0:13:33.080 Since then, my colleagues had been angry with me and 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:35.680 said I was trying to bully her and was being 0:13:35.720 --> 0:13:39.160 totally unreasonable given how long she's been here. I think 0:13:39.200 --> 0:13:41.720 I was answering her a quest for feedback in good faith, 0:13:41.800 --> 0:13:44.479 but I'm now worried that I wasn't due to her response. 0:13:44.559 --> 0:13:46.400 Am I the asshole? Listen here? 0:13:47.000 --> 0:13:51.840 If feedback is asked, feedback must be given. It's better 0:13:52.080 --> 0:13:54.720 to do it in this forum. Then let stuff build up, 0:13:54.760 --> 0:13:56.440 and then do it in a way that's not professional. 0:13:56.520 --> 0:14:01.600 You can hide behind the guise of professionalism and inverted 0:14:01.640 --> 0:14:03.359 commas constructive feedback. 0:14:04.000 --> 0:14:05.400 Just always with these. 0:14:05.360 --> 0:14:07.880 Kind of things, I would think about, is the impact 0:14:07.960 --> 0:14:12.520 on you worth sharing? Because people don't like to change, 0:14:12.600 --> 0:14:16.240 and people in positions of power don't like to be wrong. 0:14:16.800 --> 0:14:19.080 So I would just think about yourself. Don't think about 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:21.720 quick retribution, don't think about a little sting because at 0:14:21.720 --> 0:14:25.400 the end of the day, they've got the power over you, 0:14:25.880 --> 0:14:28.200 and so to appease the boss is what I would 0:14:28.200 --> 0:14:29.800 do if I'm just thinking about myself and not the 0:14:29.800 --> 0:14:31.960 workers around me. Because something you might want to do 0:14:32.000 --> 0:14:34.600 if everyone's getting mistreated is take one for the team 0:14:34.880 --> 0:14:38.960 and call it out. But what does that make you firable? 0:14:39.040 --> 0:14:39.920 Join your union? Now? 0:14:42.280 --> 0:14:45.200 Look, have I said it before, I'll say it again. 0:14:45.680 --> 0:14:49.800 Nobody likes feedback. Nobody likes advice, even if they've asked 0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:52.560 for it. It's just the way it works. You might 0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:54.920 be open to hearing it a bit of storytelling, you know, 0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:59.240 a bit of fun. People like sharing thoughts when people 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:02.960 share thoughts, but feedback specifically, no, because, as you said, 0:15:03.320 --> 0:15:05.000 it puts someone in a position where they feel as 0:15:05.000 --> 0:15:07.960 that they need to defend themselves or justify themselves, and 0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:11.320 it's never good. In this instance, it was requested, yes, 0:15:11.680 --> 0:15:14.920 and you'd be foolish not to take the opportunity to 0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:18.240 just get it out. Her coworkers think it's too soon, 0:15:18.400 --> 0:15:20.840 But like you said, for me, if not now, then when, 0:15:21.800 --> 0:15:24.320 If not now, then when? Because it's not something that 0:15:24.360 --> 0:15:27.160 she's aware of, she could switch it up today and 0:15:27.200 --> 0:15:29.280 be like, oh, I didn't know you guys wanted that. Amazing. 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:31.440 I can change now, and if it's something that she's 0:15:31.440 --> 0:15:33.640 not aware of, then fantastic. It's something we can work 0:15:33.640 --> 0:15:36.440 towards and build. I would say. In this instance, though, 0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:40.560 it is a slippery slope managing upwards. Yeah, because once 0:15:40.600 --> 0:15:43.040 you start, you don't stop. Now you're the capable employee, 0:15:43.080 --> 0:15:45.280 she's gonna be leaning on you, asking for what do 0:15:45.320 --> 0:15:47.240 you think and what do you want to do? And 0:15:47.320 --> 0:15:51.200 what should we do next? And let's call on this 0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:54.720 person again. And now you're sharing the role when. 0:15:54.520 --> 0:15:57.120 The other employee would just go along with it and enjoy, 0:15:57.320 --> 0:15:58.240 vibe and reap the. 0:15:58.200 --> 0:16:00.200 Benefits of your pushing forward. 0:16:00.240 --> 0:16:03.520 So exactly like Frumi said, think about yourself, be selfish, 0:16:03.560 --> 0:16:06.880 think best case scenario. As every action that you take 0:16:06.880 --> 0:16:09.960 in life determines the role you play. So now that 0:16:09.960 --> 0:16:11.920 you've stepped up and you've decided that you're going to 0:16:11.920 --> 0:16:14.360 be the person who says things when people won't, it's 0:16:14.400 --> 0:16:17.080 now the role that you've been bestowed. 0:16:17.440 --> 0:16:19.000 I think you can take it back. You can take 0:16:19.000 --> 0:16:19.200 it back. 0:16:19.240 --> 0:16:21.520 It's early days, you can take it back. But if 0:16:21.560 --> 0:16:24.000 you're going to continue, then it becomes your role and 0:16:24.040 --> 0:16:24.840 then it gets boring. 0:16:25.520 --> 0:16:28.720 Yeah, just enjoy your life. Just enjoy your life. 0:16:28.760 --> 0:16:28.920 Love. 0:16:29.120 --> 0:16:31.320 This is flex and frooms. 0:16:31.800 --> 0:16:33.840 Frumi has an announcement for us. 0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:37.760 I don't know where Panama is. I've never been good 0:16:37.760 --> 0:16:40.240 at geography. And did I ever take a history lesson? 0:16:40.320 --> 0:16:40.400 No? 0:16:40.560 --> 0:16:44.680 I was doing the creative arts and also home eck, and. 0:16:44.600 --> 0:16:46.240 It shows that's okay. 0:16:46.360 --> 0:16:47.920 I'm same though. 0:16:48.640 --> 0:16:50.800 What is homemaking creative arts? 0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:54.760 Yeah? Well mine was more learning how to be a waiter, learning. 0:16:54.520 --> 0:16:55.600 How to about coffee. 0:16:55.880 --> 0:16:58.200 Year twelve, learn how to be a waiter and make. 0:16:58.080 --> 0:17:01.040 Coffee on campus on the school ground. 0:17:01.120 --> 0:17:01.560 Correct. 0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:07.360 Yeah, people heapsfield do home ach. 0:17:08.080 --> 0:17:09.400 That's like a typical subject. 0:17:09.680 --> 0:17:12.920 Yeah, and I didn't do very well at it. Actually, 0:17:13.280 --> 0:17:16.520 my teacher and I had a love hate relationship, like 0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:18.280 you could tell that she thought I was really funny, 0:17:18.920 --> 0:17:22.040 but she also despised me. I really send her to 0:17:22.080 --> 0:17:23.200 the end of her tether. But I got her a 0:17:23.200 --> 0:17:24.560 president at the end of the year. So did you 0:17:24.560 --> 0:17:27.520 get a maybe a candle? It's kind of hard buying 0:17:27.520 --> 0:17:28.600 a present for a teacher. 0:17:28.640 --> 0:17:28.920 I said. 0:17:28.920 --> 0:17:31.159 Freeman's got an announcer for us. You start talking about Panama, 0:17:31.640 --> 0:17:33.560 I met meeting morning being a morning person. 0:17:33.560 --> 0:17:34.280 It was a setup. 0:17:35.600 --> 0:17:39.720 Everybody listening listening, particularly you FLEXI. I have recently become 0:17:39.760 --> 0:17:40.439 a morning person. 0:17:40.600 --> 0:17:42.440 How many days inn't we are? 0:17:42.840 --> 0:17:45.359 Two weeks? That is amazing. 0:17:45.480 --> 0:17:48.800 For the past eight years, I have. 0:17:48.800 --> 0:17:50.040 Not woken up before eight am. 0:17:50.640 --> 0:17:52.440 Okay, that's still the morning though. 0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:53.920 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:17:53.960 --> 0:17:56.480 But like, for example, when I worked a full time job, 0:17:56.520 --> 0:18:00.560 I would get up eight at the earliest because I 0:18:00.600 --> 0:18:02.600 lived a two minute walk from work. Right, So I'm 0:18:02.640 --> 0:18:04.920 getting up, getting into the office at nine, then hanging 0:18:04.960 --> 0:18:06.760 around getting a coffee, then getting into the day. 0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:06.919 Right. 0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:07.560 That's pretty brief. 0:18:07.600 --> 0:18:10.040 So like a super morning person because I would start 0:18:10.040 --> 0:18:11.840 waking up at nine and call myself a morning person. 0:18:11.880 --> 0:18:15.000 Pretty super. What time did you wake up? Four point thirty? No? 0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:19.919 Yeah, employment exactly what I'm saying is, yeah, people have 0:18:19.960 --> 0:18:22.280 full time jobs that want to get stuff done before work. 0:18:22.320 --> 0:18:23.960 Particularly have a full time job. 0:18:25.280 --> 0:18:28.800 People who work regular office hours that have to commute 0:18:28.840 --> 0:18:30.000 to an office and have a boss. 0:18:30.800 --> 0:18:34.000 And you're looking at her. I look at myself every night. 0:18:34.160 --> 0:18:34.919 You're foiling me. 0:18:35.000 --> 0:18:36.000 You go home with your. 0:18:35.880 --> 0:18:38.840