Speaker 1: Flex and Frooms the Flex and Frooms catch up Podcastle
Speaker 1: and Rooms.
Speaker 2: It is Flexing Frooms on KTA. How much water do
Speaker 2: we need to drink to actually feel hydrated not be hydrated?
Speaker 2: That is a question we will never have an answer to.
Speaker 3: I think it's two leaders to.
Speaker 2: Feel hydrated, not be hydrated. The only time I've ever
Speaker 2: felt super hydrated was when I was like guzzling so
Speaker 2: much water. I would say I probably had four leaders
Speaker 2: and I couldn't stop peeing. I had a natural high
Speaker 2: and there was nothing like it, and I said, there
Speaker 2: is something here, There is something with this.
Speaker 1: Isn't it crazy how doing things that you should do
Speaker 1: makes you feel amazing?
Speaker 2: But I couldn't do anything else but pee that whole day.
Speaker 1: So guys, I know this is consuming. I can't find
Speaker 1: this back of the water bottle. Probably left it upstairs.
Speaker 1: It's gone missing up for the best. Welcome to the
Speaker 1: podcast Let's Go. You're listening to Flex and Frooms on CATA.
Speaker 2: I'm a very important question for you miss through me please.
Speaker 2: It involves language and intention. If somebody uses the phrase
Speaker 2: I prefer not to, is that passive, aggressive or polite?
Speaker 2: Go with your gut to begin with then we can
Speaker 2: unpack later on.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, right off the gut, Right off the gut,
Speaker 1: I think it's Is it like passive?
Speaker 3: Is it passive?
Speaker 2: Is it quite aggressive in nature? Or polite?
Speaker 1: It depends on who's saying it, But my gut would say.
Speaker 2: Just generally, because we're not it's a phrase.
Speaker 1: I guess it's polite then, but I don't hear it
Speaker 1: much in our colloquial language system in Australia Australia.
Speaker 2: I was thinking about it before because, as you know,
Speaker 2: I love language. I love figure out different ways to communicate,
Speaker 2: and I find myself being hyper aware of when language
Speaker 2: isn't making sense. So, for example, today I asked you,
Speaker 2: do you want a coffee? And you said I'm good,
Speaker 2: And it reminded me of a time where my childhood
Speaker 2: best friend's mum asked me if I want some food
Speaker 2: and I said, no, I'm good. She said is that
Speaker 2: a yes or a no? And I said it's a nose.
Speaker 2: She's like, okay, then say no, thank you, and I
Speaker 2: said she's right because I'm good. Yes. Colloquially, we kind
Speaker 2: of know it means thank you for asking me. But
Speaker 2: I don't want any But does it?
Speaker 3: Were you an impolite child?
Speaker 2: No, it wasn't, but it just different households. Like when
Speaker 2: you're eleven and you go to your friend's house, and
Speaker 2: you know, in my house, the most impolite thing you'd
Speaker 2: do would decline food and decline conversation. But in other households,
Speaker 2: to impose conversation onto the parent would be impolite.
Speaker 3: Yeah, children that are just a little too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, too comfortable calling them by their first name and
Speaker 2: all of these things, right, Like I call my mom
Speaker 2: by my first by her first name because we're buddy
Speaker 2: is now, But culturally that's very impolite, right, you call
Speaker 2: everybody auntie uncle, right, And so with I'd prefer not to.
Speaker 2: I was thinking of a conversation that I had had
Speaker 2: with someone and they were asking me if I wanted
Speaker 2: to go somewhere, and this was like an acquaintance, maybe
Speaker 2: like a party friend or something, and I thought about
Speaker 2: it and I was like, I just prefer not to.
Speaker 2: And I could tell by their face what I was
Speaker 2: communicating as polite was coming across quite impolite, because it
Speaker 2: was a place that I knew that the people there
Speaker 2: aren't quite nice, and it's always been of like hubub
Speaker 2: to go in and it's just the whole thing. So
Speaker 2: if we, if we, if you really want to go,
Speaker 2: I'll go, but I would just prefer not to. So
Speaker 2: what did you say again, I just prefer not to,
Speaker 2: I reckon and the whole Like in my head it
Speaker 2: was it was the most honest, succinct way to say it.
Speaker 2: But I could just tell by their face it sounded like,
Speaker 2: stop asking me to do dumb things. Your body gumb back.
Speaker 1: It sounds like when you don't want to sign up
Speaker 1: to an email when you're.
Speaker 3: Like on a website. I prefer not to, prefer not to.
Speaker 1: I think Australian's use of language is unlike like obviously
Speaker 1: every country, every place in the world has it differently,
Speaker 1: but like our sense of humor is so obvious in
Speaker 1: the way that we speak yeah, in a way that
Speaker 1: huh yeah, like like for example, yeah nah oh yeah.
Speaker 2: Like I feel like to very Australianized Australians who have
Speaker 2: like assimilated into aquaculture.
Speaker 1: Sure, aquaculture, let's define it like that. The mate v
Speaker 1: khunt paradox is a big one, a very it's a
Speaker 1: very kind of like a course, these things very much suit,
Speaker 1: like a very coarse accent.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but also I know what people I don't like
Speaker 2: the sea word. I like, I'm vehemently opposed to it
Speaker 2: because I know that people do it for shock value.
Speaker 2: We have been so indoctrinated into appropriate speech that to
Speaker 2: use the sea word, you know what you're doing. You
Speaker 2: want to appear like I'm just an anarchist, like I
Speaker 2: don't really care, or we say whatever. Especially Australians interacting
Speaker 2: with people who aren't Australian. They think it's such a
Speaker 2: sit of being cool and quirky. Even my friends do it.
Speaker 2: I'm like, you think you're a big dog and it's
Speaker 2: coming across so grootty.
Speaker 1: So I wouldn't say it. I try to say it
Speaker 1: with other people that say it. Obviously I say it
Speaker 1: when I'm here, but I try to. I don't know,
Speaker 1: it feels, it feels. I'm obviously very desensitized to it,
Speaker 1: and I almost think it's cute, but I can see,
Speaker 1: but I will be conscious of who I use it around,
Speaker 1: because I know for some people it isn't cute. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but like around the house, throw it around, you.
Speaker 2: Know, really yeah, yeah, it'd be crazy about that.
Speaker 1: So I think It's like I feel like I've seen
Speaker 1: a TikTok, which is like Australians say sure when like sorry,
Speaker 1: Americans say sure, whereas Australian say yeah, no worries, no worries,
Speaker 1: and the Americans like, what the fuck is that? Yeah,
Speaker 1: no stress, It's like no stress.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I think like you saying I prefer not to
Speaker 1: in terms of like, it don't.
Speaker 2: Sounds so indirect, like so passive aggressive, but it is
Speaker 2: actually so direct, like I'm saying exactly what I mean.
Speaker 2: I would prefer not to. It's not a no. So
Speaker 2: if you ask me, do you want to eat again?
Speaker 2: I prefer not to. But if we're going out to dinner, like.
Speaker 1: More it sounds like British or something.
Speaker 3: Yeah, perhaps not to.
Speaker 2: But the more that I the more that I speak,
Speaker 2: the well I use language. I just don't feel like
Speaker 2: we're using colloquial language. Well. I think it gets to
Speaker 2: a point of obsolescence where what we're saying has no
Speaker 2: meaning outside of the context people who understand, like the
Speaker 2: drink is drinking funny. It's transcended so far out of
Speaker 2: the realm of normal sense that I don't think people
Speaker 2: realize that they don't know how to speak anymore, and
Speaker 2: so when they're encountering plain speech, it's far more cryptic
Speaker 2: then me. Then for me to say that out for eats,
Speaker 2: I say, I see, I see, so you know exactly
Speaker 2: what I'm saying there. But if I said you know, so,
Speaker 2: that's a I prefer not to You're like, what do
Speaker 2: you mean?
Speaker 1: Well, it's like it's like an inside joke, that kind
Speaker 1: of language.
Speaker 2: But that's what I'm saying. It should be an inside joke,
Speaker 2: but now it's transcended people. You know, they're doing the
Speaker 2: millennials gen z in the workplace memes because I don't
Speaker 2: think that we're aware of communication as a tool, like
Speaker 2: you should be trying to speak in a way that
Speaker 2: when the message lands with the recipient, it's understood. And
Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of us don't take that care.
Speaker 1: But it's also different across like where you are and
Speaker 1: who you're speaking to, right, so like.
Speaker 2: It should be, but I don't think it is. I mean,
Speaker 2: like like you said, with the C word, I would
Speaker 2: take care to not say it in front of certain people. Fantastic, yes, fantastic,
Speaker 2: But I think that what ends up happening is and
Speaker 2: this is a slight caveat that people forget that language
Speaker 2: is to help people understand you, not to exclude them,
Speaker 2: and it goes for most like speaking in a way
Speaker 2: that's far too academic, or speaking a way that's just
Speaker 2: like almost too sarcastic. Like all of this distance is
Speaker 2: the person from like getting involved. But that the situation
Speaker 2: I'm talking about in particular was such an interesting one
Speaker 2: because I was like, I don't know how to say
Speaker 2: this any I can say it differently, but I wonder
Speaker 2: if you would if she would believe me in that moment.
Speaker 1: I think a way that like if I was if
Speaker 1: I felt the same sentiment as you and I wanted
Speaker 1: to say it, I would I would go the root
Speaker 1: of like putting it back on myself.
Speaker 3: I'd be like, oh, honor, I reckon like honor? What
Speaker 3: would I even say if.
Speaker 2: I, let's say, I'm trying to like we have plans
Speaker 2: to go somewhere somewhere dinner, drinks, bar, whatever, and you're like,
Speaker 2: oh what about this place and you're like really excited
Speaker 2: by it? Or what if I'm like oh what about
Speaker 2: this place? And I'm like, oh what at this and
Speaker 2: you're like, of all places you want to go that
Speaker 2: it sits quite low.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, what would you say?
Speaker 1: I'd say, Oh, I actually reckon, Like my voice goes
Speaker 1: up mmmmm when I'm like trying, and I'll put it
Speaker 1: back on myself.
Speaker 2: And say, what, oh I reckon?
Speaker 3: I feel like, have you been to this place? Mmm?
Speaker 2: The deflect?
Speaker 3: What would you do Brookie? Leave bruise out of this one?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Only one person must be implicated at a time here
Speaker 1: on the Flex and Fim Show.
Speaker 2: It's tricky though, because plain speech is not considered plain
Speaker 2: and convoluted language. We're assuming we understand, but do we
Speaker 2: really do?
Speaker 3: You know what?
Speaker 2: Though, I must say, when I saw this, it just
Speaker 2: made me think, you know those tests that you have
Speaker 2: and it's like yes, no to say.
Speaker 1: I always thought it was so passive aggressive, prefer not
Speaker 1: to say.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I guess it's one of those things where we
Speaker 2: don't say it. We might read the phrase, but you're
Speaker 2: not saying I'd prefer not to.
Speaker 3: It's like pleading the fifth.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like what pleading the fifth?
Speaker 3: What's that?
Speaker 2: Education?
Speaker 3: One final thing?
Speaker 2: And of course.
Speaker 1: I don't like how website nowadays are talking as people
Speaker 1: like I'll go on like I think it's like pretty
Speaker 1: little things and they're like, hey, Dole, I'm like, you're
Speaker 1: blurring the lines. Like I need you to communicate properly
Speaker 1: and then use the internet like the US use the
Speaker 1: common everyday man use the internet.
Speaker 3: It makes the.
Speaker 2: Issue with inclusion. We can't all but using the same languish.
Speaker 2: But it's interesting because right, like, imagine being a non
Speaker 2: native English speaker babes. Yeah, the average English speakers barely
Speaker 2: have a grip on what they're communicating. And why if
Speaker 2: I if I said, explain to your mum what it
Speaker 2: gives means.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she'd be having a hard time, But.
Speaker 2: You'd be having a hard time.
Speaker 3: What does it gives me? Yeah, I couldn't even tell you.
Speaker 3: I couldn't even tell you.
Speaker 1: That is the definition of a club word.
Speaker 2: And it needs to stay in its in its little ecosystem.
Speaker 3: You're really gonna push myself.
Speaker 1: I get it when I'm like, I find it easier
Speaker 1: to be more discerning with my words when I'm writing,
Speaker 1: which is something I often say to you. But even
Speaker 1: the things that you and I say on the show,
Speaker 1: we have a particular language that listeners would know now
Speaker 1: because they've been listening to us since the inception. Knock knock,
Speaker 1: nudge nudge. Friends, you can always go back into the discography.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I like that you like language because it's
Speaker 1: something that we use that we don't really think about.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but what's the point lacking language? Even nobody misstad
Speaker 2: trying to communicate. God, I've had a good crid ages.
Speaker 3: I get on it. I can kick you onto the
Speaker 3: tape of fields.
Speaker 2: No, I want one, like an emotional one like at
Speaker 2: my quarm No, no, take it back.
Speaker 3: That's like when I was like a few months ago.
Speaker 1: I really want to like have a crush and like
Speaker 1: get my heart broken.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I'll take it back you.
Speaker 2: With flex and frooms. Actually, bye, Keita, flex and frooms.
Speaker 2: Flex and frooms. Am I the asshole for giving my
Speaker 2: new boss difficult feedback? This is the question we're answering
Speaker 2: today on flex and frooms. Listen to this. I have
Speaker 2: a new boss. They're about four months in. She's very experienced,
Speaker 2: though not in our specific industry, but her skills are
Speaker 2: very transferred car and I can see why she got
Speaker 2: the job. I think when she gets a bit more
Speaker 2: specific experience here, she'll be very good. And I have
Speaker 2: a lot of respect for her at the moment, though,
Speaker 2: she's still in a watch and learn mode and is
Speaker 2: shadowing us and asking our opinions on things, which is
Speaker 2: better than arrogantly assuming she knows better than people who've
Speaker 2: done it here for years. I'm pleased she's here and
Speaker 2: I want to support her. We've just had a team meeting.
Speaker 2: At the end, she asked her feedback on her performance
Speaker 2: and anything she should start or stop.
Speaker 3: Slippery slope.
Speaker 1: Never like me when I wanted people to send in
Speaker 1: the annoying words that we use.
Speaker 3: Yeah, never.
Speaker 2: Once, everybody else was really effusive.
Speaker 3: Friendly easy.
Speaker 1: Effusive is to be friendly and easy and polite.
Speaker 2: Okay, I like say it says showing or expressing gratitude, pleasure,
Speaker 2: or approval in an unrestrained or heartfelt manner. Okay, so
Speaker 2: like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: Holding here alike in it.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Everyone else was really effusive about her people skills
Speaker 2: and how she's making an effort to learn all the processes,
Speaker 2: but no real constructive feedback. I decided to be open
Speaker 2: and honest and I said I agreed about her people skills,
Speaker 2: but I thought that she needed to become more decisive
Speaker 2: about some things, more general transferable things, and stop trying
Speaker 2: to always seek a consensus because it was making our
Speaker 2: meetings take too long. She looked a bit upset initially,
Speaker 2: but then ask some questions about what I said and
Speaker 2: summarized her understanding. I thought the message had got through
Speaker 2: and I felt she would try and act on the feedback.
Speaker 2: Since then, my colleagues had been angry with me and
Speaker 2: said I was trying to bully her and was being
Speaker 2: totally unreasonable given how long she's been here. I think
Speaker 2: I was answering her a quest for feedback in good faith,
Speaker 2: but I'm now worried that I wasn't due to her response.
Speaker 2: Am I the asshole? Listen here?
Speaker 1: If feedback is asked, feedback must be given. It's better
Speaker 1: to do it in this forum. Then let stuff build up,
Speaker 1: and then do it in a way that's not professional.
Speaker 1: You can hide behind the guise of professionalism and inverted
Speaker 1: commas constructive feedback.
Speaker 3: Just always with these.
Speaker 1: Kind of things, I would think about, is the impact
Speaker 1: on you worth sharing? Because people don't like to change,
Speaker 1: and people in positions of power don't like to be wrong.
Speaker 1: So I would just think about yourself. Don't think about
Speaker 1: quick retribution, don't think about a little sting because at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, they've got the power over you,
Speaker 1: and so to appease the boss is what I would
Speaker 1: do if I'm just thinking about myself and not the
Speaker 1: workers around me. Because something you might want to do
Speaker 1: if everyone's getting mistreated is take one for the team
Speaker 1: and call it out. But what does that make you firable?
Speaker 3: Join your union? Now?
Speaker 2: Look, have I said it before, I'll say it again.
Speaker 2: Nobody likes feedback. Nobody likes advice, even if they've asked
Speaker 2: for it. It's just the way it works. You might
Speaker 2: be open to hearing it a bit of storytelling, you know,
Speaker 2: a bit of fun. People like sharing thoughts when people
Speaker 2: share thoughts, but feedback specifically, no, because, as you said,
Speaker 2: it puts someone in a position where they feel as
Speaker 2: that they need to defend themselves or justify themselves, and
Speaker 2: it's never good. In this instance, it was requested, yes,
Speaker 2: and you'd be foolish not to take the opportunity to
Speaker 2: just get it out. Her coworkers think it's too soon,
Speaker 2: But like you said, for me, if not now, then when,
Speaker 2: If not now, then when? Because it's not something that
Speaker 2: she's aware of, she could switch it up today and
Speaker 2: be like, oh, I didn't know you guys wanted that. Amazing.
Speaker 2: I can change now, and if it's something that she's
Speaker 2: not aware of, then fantastic. It's something we can work
Speaker 2: towards and build. I would say. In this instance, though,
Speaker 2: it is a slippery slope managing upwards. Yeah, because once
Speaker 2: you start, you don't stop. Now you're the capable employee,
Speaker 2: she's gonna be leaning on you, asking for what do
Speaker 2: you think and what do you want to do? And
Speaker 2: what should we do next? And let's call on this
Speaker 2: person again. And now you're sharing the role when.
Speaker 1: The other employee would just go along with it and enjoy,
Speaker 1: vibe and reap the.
Speaker 3: Benefits of your pushing forward.
Speaker 2: So exactly like Frumi said, think about yourself, be selfish,
Speaker 2: think best case scenario. As every action that you take
Speaker 2: in life determines the role you play. So now that
Speaker 2: you've stepped up and you've decided that you're going to
Speaker 2: be the person who says things when people won't, it's
Speaker 2: now the role that you've been bestowed.
Speaker 3: I think you can take it back. You can take
Speaker 3: it back.
Speaker 2: It's early days, you can take it back. But if
Speaker 2: you're going to continue, then it becomes your role and
Speaker 2: then it gets boring.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just enjoy your life. Just enjoy your life.
Speaker 2: Love.
Speaker 3: This is flex and frooms.
Speaker 2: Frumi has an announcement for us.
Speaker 1: I don't know where Panama is. I've never been good
Speaker 1: at geography. And did I ever take a history lesson?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: I was doing the creative arts and also home eck, and.
Speaker 3: It shows that's okay.
Speaker 2: I'm same though.
Speaker 3: What is homemaking creative arts?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Well mine was more learning how to be a waiter, learning.
Speaker 3: How to about coffee.
Speaker 1: Year twelve, learn how to be a waiter and make.
Speaker 2: Coffee on campus on the school ground.
Speaker 3: Correct.
Speaker 1: Yeah, people heapsfield do home ach.
Speaker 3: That's like a typical subject.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I didn't do very well at it. Actually,
Speaker 1: my teacher and I had a love hate relationship, like
Speaker 1: you could tell that she thought I was really funny,
Speaker 1: but she also despised me. I really send her to
Speaker 1: the end of her tether. But I got her a
Speaker 1: president at the end of the year. So did you
Speaker 1: get a maybe a candle? It's kind of hard buying
Speaker 1: a present for a teacher.
Speaker 3: I said.
Speaker 2: Freeman's got an announcer for us. You start talking about Panama,
Speaker 2: I met meeting morning being a morning person.
Speaker 3: It was a setup.
Speaker 1: Everybody listening listening, particularly you FLEXI. I have recently become
Speaker 1: a morning person.
Speaker 2: How many days inn't we are?
Speaker 3: Two weeks? That is amazing.
Speaker 1: For the past eight years, I have.
Speaker 3: Not woken up before eight am.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's still the morning though.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: But like, for example, when I worked a full time job,
Speaker 1: I would get up eight at the earliest because I
Speaker 1: lived a two minute walk from work. Right, So I'm
Speaker 1: getting up, getting into the office at nine, then hanging
Speaker 1: around getting a coffee, then getting into the day.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: That's pretty brief.
Speaker 2: So like a super morning person because I would start
Speaker 2: waking up at nine and call myself a morning person.
Speaker 3: Pretty super. What time did you wake up? Four point thirty? No?
Speaker 1: Yeah, employment exactly what I'm saying is, yeah, people have
Speaker 1: full time jobs that want to get stuff done before work.
Speaker 2: Particularly have a full time job.
Speaker 1: People who work regular office hours that have to commute
Speaker 1: to an office and have a boss.
Speaker 2: And you're looking at her. I look at myself every night.
Speaker 3: You're foiling me.
Speaker 2: You go home with your.
Speaker 3: Bus, No, I hear me, hear me?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but then why I don't know It's like something
Speaker 1: came over me. And I've just been getting up. My
Speaker 1: alarm's been going off at six ' ten every morning,
Speaker 1: and I've been trotting down, hobbling down to watch the sunset.
Speaker 1: Wherever I live, I get a coffee stocks myself and half,
Speaker 1: and I've just been sitting down having my coffee in
Speaker 1: the sunrise. I give myself two hours. I read a book,
Speaker 1: I write notes, I rehearse for things. I get a
Speaker 1: lot of thoughts that come to me. I don't bring
Speaker 1: my phone. I got for a dip and I frolic
Speaker 1: in the ocean. Oh, for about twenty minutes. It's good
Speaker 1: exercise as well, going up the waves, going down the waves.
Speaker 3: And I have never in my life had I've got energy.
Speaker 1: You do, don't I. I must say, for the first
Speaker 1: year of being here at Cata, I was giving disheveled.
Speaker 1: Obviously there's still a bit of a mess abounds, but.
Speaker 2: I energetically far less disheveled.
Speaker 3: Oh for sure, actually know what's happening now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just want to say not all hope is
Speaker 1: lost if you're not a morning person. But I also
Speaker 1: don't want to foist morning person propaganda onto people who
Speaker 1: aren't because for my whole life getting up at ten
Speaker 1: for the last year, people, you know, friends are like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're up early if I get up before eight, Like
Speaker 1: you're being passive aggressive, respectfully, like just because you want
Speaker 1: to get up early. This is my lifestyle. So I
Speaker 1: just want to say, I'm really enjoying myself and I'm
Speaker 1: teaching myself that you can always make new habits good
Speaker 1: or bad.
Speaker 2: There's no pious leave the door open.
Speaker 1: There should be no piousness attached to getting up at six,
Speaker 1: because the minute that I start putting restrictions on myself
Speaker 1: and making this a part of my personality is the
Speaker 1: minute it doesn't become fun. I'm coming into this with curiosity,
Speaker 1: which is what you should do with most new endeavors.
Speaker 2: I believe you've been listening to The Flex and Froom's
Speaker 2: daily podcast.
Speaker 1: For more, Tune Indicator on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.