1
00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:07,040
Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for.

2
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,399
Speaker 2: The time poor parent who just wants answers now.

3
00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:13,560
Speaker 1: So last week on the Happy Family Podcast, we had

4
00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:16,520
Speaker 1: a series of five conversations completely different to what we

5
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:19,640
Speaker 1: normally do on the podcast, talking with people about their

6
00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:24,160
Speaker 1: school experiences, primarily what went wrong at school, why school

7
00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:26,759
Speaker 1: wasn't a good experience for them, and how they lived

8
00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:31,240
Speaker 1: extraordinary successful lives in spite of their lack of success

9
00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:34,599
Speaker 1: at school. We've been having these conversations because right now,

10
00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:37,720
Speaker 1: right around the nation, pretty much every state and territory

11
00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:42,480
Speaker 1: has their year twelve school leavers completing their final exams

12
00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:46,360
Speaker 1: ever at school. And then on Friday, we wrapped up

13
00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:50,440
Speaker 1: the week with a fascinating discussion with the Flinders University

14
00:00:50,479 --> 00:00:54,680
Speaker 1: academic Nigel Howard, talking about what happens on average when

15
00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:58,600
Speaker 1: kids don't finish school. Kylie, I want to use today's

16
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,840
Speaker 1: podcast is not recap. We don't need to summarize what

17
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,520
Speaker 1: was said. People can listen to and hopefully did listen

18
00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:07,280
Speaker 1: to all five of those conversations. They were fascinating, but

19
00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:10,399
Speaker 1: really to I guess, unpack and play around with the

20
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:14,039
Speaker 1: ideas that came up. What were your overall impressions as

21
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:16,559
Speaker 1: you listened to four people who dropped out of school,

22
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,800
Speaker 1: never finished UNI and we're on to have extraordinary lives.

23
00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:24,480
Speaker 1: And then Nigel's I guess balancing act as he reflected

24
00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:26,800
Speaker 1: on what happens when we don't finish high school? What

25
00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:27,679
Speaker 1: were your impressions.

26
00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:35,240
Speaker 2: I think every single person acknowledged how important education is.

27
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:38,479
Speaker 2: It's power amount to our ability to progress in life.

28
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:42,920
Speaker 2: But they might have left school, but they never stopped learning.

29
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:47,800
Speaker 2: And I think the emphasis for us as parents is

30
00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:52,720
Speaker 2: helping our children to stay curious in their environment, regardless

31
00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:56,480
Speaker 2: of what that curiosity leads them to do. While ever

32
00:01:56,520 --> 00:02:00,600
Speaker 2: they're curious, they will seek learning and regression.

33
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,360
Speaker 1: Over the weekend, I had a conversation with somebody who's

34
00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:07,840
Speaker 1: a deputy principal at a Queensland school and the conversation

35
00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:13,160
Speaker 1: essentially was this guy saying, we are not helping kids

36
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:16,920
Speaker 1: to become lifelong learners at school. School is destroying the

37
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:20,760
Speaker 1: desire that kids have to learn. Kind of taps in

38
00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:23,280
Speaker 1: with a conversation that you had with our youngest with

39
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,280
Speaker 1: this whole homeschooling thing that we're going to talk about

40
00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:28,880
Speaker 1: on Friday, where she has indicated now she's had a

41
00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:30,679
Speaker 1: little bit of time off school. She's ready to learn,

42
00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:32,519
Speaker 1: she's anxious to learn, she wants to get into it.

43
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:36,240
Speaker 1: She's almost rekindled, already discovered what learning could be now

44
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,400
Speaker 1: that she's had time away from the school environment. The

45
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:44,080
Speaker 1: discussion I found fascinating with Nigel Howard talking about the

46
00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:48,680
Speaker 1: negative results in people's lives when they don't finish high school. Now,

47
00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:50,440
Speaker 1: obviously we spoke to a couple of people who had

48
00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:53,680
Speaker 1: extraordinary lives in spite of not finishing high school. I

49
00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:57,000
Speaker 1: wonder if you have any insights or reflections on what

50
00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:57,960
Speaker 1: Nigel had to say.

51
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:02,640
Speaker 2: One of the biggest challenges I see in our kids

52
00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:06,640
Speaker 2: today comparative to when we were going to school is

53
00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:12,120
Speaker 2: the level of anxiety and stress associated with those school leavers. Exams.

54
00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:16,359
Speaker 2: Exams are stressful in and of themselves. They put us

55
00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:20,000
Speaker 2: under pressure, and regardless of whether we know our stuff

56
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:23,560
Speaker 2: or not, most of us have an element of stress

57
00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:26,760
Speaker 2: walking into an exam room with exam conditions.

58
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,960
Speaker 1: And I want to just add here as well, I

59
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:32,440
Speaker 1: don't know of any situation in real life once you

60
00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:36,760
Speaker 1: leave school where you experience that kind of pressure, like

61
00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:41,520
Speaker 1: if you're in a profession and you have to do

62
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,720
Speaker 1: anything at all. You just perform your role, right. You

63
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:47,320
Speaker 1: never sat down in a room and told to recall

64
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:49,040
Speaker 1: all the information that you need to know about best

65
00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:50,560
Speaker 1: time and how to do it exactly.

66
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:52,240
Speaker 2: And you can't talk to anyone now.

67
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:55,240
Speaker 1: Obviously, you need to know how to perform surgery. You

68
00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:57,080
Speaker 1: need to know how to stand up in the courtroom

69
00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,960
Speaker 1: and speak, You need to know how to I don't know,

70
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,280
Speaker 1: write an essay or do your work. We all have

71
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:05,360
Speaker 1: a performance level. But what happens is you take on

72
00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:09,280
Speaker 1: a job and you receive training, and you develop as

73
00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:12,880
Speaker 1: you're going through that, and then you start to perform,

74
00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:14,840
Speaker 1: and when you make mistakes, there are people around you

75
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,839
Speaker 1: who support you and say, oh, not like that, like this,

76
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,039
Speaker 1: try that again. And it just seems to me that

77
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:23,240
Speaker 1: the entire school experience, especially around exams, is artificial and

78
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:26,720
Speaker 1: I would even add quite provocatively unnecessary.

79
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,520
Speaker 2: And I guess that's where I was kind of headed

80
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:34,440
Speaker 2: with this idea. As a school leaver, I can remember

81
00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:40,680
Speaker 2: feeling immense anxiety around doing well, but not to the

82
00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:45,560
Speaker 2: extent where I felt like my whole life weighed on

83
00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:47,080
Speaker 2: the outcome.

84
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,680
Speaker 1: And that your value as a person was predicated on

85
00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:50,520
Speaker 1: how you did.

86
00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:53,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, there wasn't the same level of pressure for me

87
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,560
Speaker 2: to know what I wanted to do with the rest

88
00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:57,040
Speaker 2: of my life.

89
00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,039
Speaker 1: Well, and I said this in one of the pods,

90
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:00,960
Speaker 1: right in one of the conversation I think it was

91
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:06,240
Speaker 1: with Cam Barber. When I ask parents how many of

92
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,320
Speaker 1: them are still doing today what they thought they'd be

93
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:11,279
Speaker 1: doing when they finished high school, it's twenty percent or less.

94
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,880
Speaker 1: Like we change our mind when we become adults. We

95
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,039
Speaker 1: change our mind when we go through a university. We

96
00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:17,600
Speaker 1: change our mind when we get a job and don't

97
00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:20,080
Speaker 1: like it and go into a completely different career path.

98
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,200
Speaker 1: One of our good friends who runs a successful real

99
00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:25,200
Speaker 1: estate agency. He started off as a school teacher. Then

100
00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:29,520
Speaker 1: he developed a brand of shoe and now he sells

101
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:32,600
Speaker 1: real estate and he's happy at doing that than anything previous.

102
00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:35,560
Speaker 1: Like we change our minds, we change our careers.

103
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:41,200
Speaker 2: But that's the whole point to lifelong learning. We learn

104
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:44,120
Speaker 2: and we grow, and we progress and we tap into

105
00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:47,760
Speaker 2: strengths we never knew we had. Maturity life experience, they

106
00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:51,320
Speaker 2: kind of they open our eyes up to opportunities that

107
00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:55,200
Speaker 2: we never thought were possible because we didn't have the maturity.

108
00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,159
Speaker 2: We didn't have the life experience.

109
00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:58,480
Speaker 1: And that was something that came out in every conversation.

110
00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:01,480
Speaker 1: The learning for them, the desire for learning was kind

111
00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:04,960
Speaker 1: of crushed in the school context, and that desire for

112
00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:07,880
Speaker 1: learning and progress came alive once they left school. Now,

113
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:10,400
Speaker 1: this isn't a let's bag out school conversation at all.

114
00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:12,760
Speaker 1: The school system has its flaws and we're not trying

115
00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,560
Speaker 1: to solve all of those right now, but rather just

116
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,840
Speaker 1: reflecting on the conversations. That's something that really stood out

117
00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:19,479
Speaker 1: to me, and it's certainly something that we've experienced in

118
00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:23,760
Speaker 1: our life that when you're anxiously engaged in learning and

119
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,400
Speaker 1: growing and developing after school, you tend to get somewhere.

120
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:27,720
Speaker 1: You tend to help you little.

121
00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:32,039
Speaker 2: More fulfilling lives because it's self directed, as opposed to

122
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:36,040
Speaker 2: I guess essentially living a life out of fear, fear

123
00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,880
Speaker 2: that you're not going to be able to meet other

124
00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:41,880
Speaker 2: people's expectations, fear that you're not going to you know,

125
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:46,160
Speaker 2: kind of live up to your own expectations. And I

126
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:51,800
Speaker 2: think that for our kids, helping them to find that

127
00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:56,719
Speaker 2: love of learning, and right now for our daughter, our

128
00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,960
Speaker 2: nine year old daughter, it's her love of learning of dragon.

129
00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:04,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, at worms.

130
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:06,800
Speaker 2: But it doesn't It actually doesn't matter what it is.

131
00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:10,840
Speaker 2: So at this point in the story, all that matters

132
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:12,600
Speaker 2: is she's curious.

133
00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,880
Speaker 1: Something that you said before. I think this is a

134
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:17,160
Speaker 1: little bit provocative, but I want to call back to

135
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:20,240
Speaker 1: it really quickly. You talked about the increased level of

136
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,040
Speaker 1: anxiety in stress that kids are experiencing that you didn't have.

137
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:27,560
Speaker 1: And there's no way to say this politely, but I

138
00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:33,760
Speaker 1: placed the increased anxiety, the increased perfectionism, the increased stress

139
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,920
Speaker 1: squarely at the feet of parents, when we have a

140
00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:39,600
Speaker 1: look at the increased expectation and pressure that parents are

141
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,200
Speaker 1: putting on them. In a couple of weeks time, we're

142
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:44,120
Speaker 1: talking with a guy called Professor Thomas Curhran. He's a

143
00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:48,640
Speaker 1: professor of psychology at the London School of Economics, and

144
00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:51,239
Speaker 1: he's written a book all about perfectionism, and I'm talking

145
00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:54,200
Speaker 1: with him about perfectionism on the podcast. It's just a

146
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,840
Speaker 1: couple of weeks away, but I just recorded that conversation

147
00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:58,320
Speaker 1: a couple of days ago, and we're editing at the

148
00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:02,440
Speaker 1: moment and listening to him speak. He's not as direct

149
00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:05,160
Speaker 1: as I'm being right now, but I think when we

150
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:10,600
Speaker 1: look at the unfair expectations and pressure and perfectionistic requirements

151
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:13,240
Speaker 1: that parents place on their children, the demands they come

152
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,800
Speaker 1: off the soccer field, they come off the netbull court,

153
00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:18,880
Speaker 1: they come off the stage, no matter what they're doing,

154
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:23,680
Speaker 1: we can hobbies, school experiences. There's this relentless pressure that

155
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:26,120
Speaker 1: we as parents, or the sory I shouldn't say we

156
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:29,080
Speaker 1: as parents, the too many parents place on their kids

157
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:33,200
Speaker 1: to just get better, to not do it like that,

158
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:36,160
Speaker 1: to do it like this. Come on, you know better

159
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,760
Speaker 1: than this. You should be able to do more than this.

160
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:42,240
Speaker 1: That's the persistent message that comes up, and that's what's

161
00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:46,200
Speaker 1: I think creating the stress that kids are experiencing around school.

162
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:51,320
Speaker 2: I agree one hundred percent, but I don't necessarily think

163
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:55,720
Speaker 2: that it's because we have bad parents. I think what

164
00:08:55,800 --> 00:09:01,520
Speaker 2: we're experiencing is a desperate need of parents who love

165
00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:05,160
Speaker 2: their kids to allow their kids and give their kids

166
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:09,120
Speaker 2: everything they feel like they missed out on in their childhood.

167
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:12,959
Speaker 2: And when you look at the demands that are being

168
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:17,440
Speaker 2: placed on parents right now in today's society, economic stress

169
00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:21,319
Speaker 2: that we're experiencing, the changes to lifestyle as a result

170
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:24,360
Speaker 2: of the pandemic there are so many different things that

171
00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:28,840
Speaker 2: we've now gone through as adults, and our minds are

172
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:31,560
Speaker 2: already ticking forward to what's going to happen for our

173
00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:33,640
Speaker 2: kids in fifteen twenty years time, and how do I

174
00:09:33,679 --> 00:09:34,559
Speaker 2: prepare them best.

175
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:40,160
Speaker 1: Now, I'm going to make a clarification on what I said.

176
00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:43,319
Speaker 1: This is an important clarification. There's always been stress, there's

177
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,160
Speaker 1: always been pressure, There's always been those kinds of things,

178
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:48,600
Speaker 1: but it's risen to all new levels. And it's because

179
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,840
Speaker 1: parents are at number one, more invested in their children,

180
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,440
Speaker 1: and his investment and children goes up, both emotional investment

181
00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:57,440
Speaker 1: and financial investment, so to expectations, and those expectations are

182
00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,560
Speaker 1: generally unrealistic. Like we've got good evidence that today have

183
00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:03,920
Speaker 1: expectations of their children that are unrealistic, especially compared to

184
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,400
Speaker 1: a couple of generations ago. We just expect so much

185
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:10,280
Speaker 1: of them. A Number two, parents with high expectations are

186
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,480
Speaker 1: often overly critical of their children, which leads to lower

187
00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:18,040
Speaker 1: resilience and increased anxiety, and they're more controlling of their children.

188
00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:21,200
Speaker 1: So my clarification is we've got data from the nineteen

189
00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:23,280
Speaker 1: nineties through to today, and we know that parents are

190
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,640
Speaker 1: less autonomy supportive, which means that they're more controlling, and

191
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,480
Speaker 1: they're doing it because they're more invested, because they're more

192
00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:30,320
Speaker 1: worried about the outcomes, because there's a belief that the

193
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:33,280
Speaker 1: world's increasingly competitive and dog eat dog zero some kind

194
00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:35,120
Speaker 1: of thing, and taking controls the only way that you

195
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,359
Speaker 1: can assure that your children are going to be successful.

196
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:39,800
Speaker 1: And that's where the problem is, because it's not the

197
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:41,240
Speaker 1: only way that you can assure that children are going

198
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:43,040
Speaker 1: to be successful, whatever success actually means.

199
00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:47,160
Speaker 2: I think. I think another challenge that we're experiencing, though,

200
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:52,320
Speaker 2: is how we view success, and our desperate need for

201
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:56,319
Speaker 2: our kids to have success in their lives is all

202
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:59,800
Speaker 2: tied up in how we see ourselves and how much

203
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,320
Speaker 2: work earth we place on who we are as a

204
00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:03,760
Speaker 2: result of what we achieve.

205
00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:07,280
Speaker 1: And that's the thing. We believe that we're successful based

206
00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:11,479
Speaker 1: on external that's right, reality is, rather than what's happening inside.

207
00:11:11,559 --> 00:11:13,439
Speaker 1: And everybody nods their head and says, yeah, yeah, I

208
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,080
Speaker 1: want my kids to have a great character, but you

209
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:17,880
Speaker 1: know the messages that the kids are receiving. We've got

210
00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:19,440
Speaker 1: evidence on this as well. This was a study that

211
00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:21,439
Speaker 1: came out of Harvard just recently a couple of years ago,

212
00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:25,400
Speaker 1: and the researchers at Harvard said to the kids, Hey,

213
00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:28,600
Speaker 1: what would your parents consider to be successful for you

214
00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:29,800
Speaker 1: to be a good person or for you to get

215
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:31,400
Speaker 1: good grades and have a good career. And the kids

216
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:34,080
Speaker 1: were like, overwhelmingly, I need to be a doctor. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

217
00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:36,720
Speaker 1: that's right. But the parents, when they were asked that question,

218
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:39,440
Speaker 1: they said, I want my kids to have character. But

219
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:42,400
Speaker 1: what are we focusing on? You've said that. Now. We

220
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:45,000
Speaker 1: didn't set this up, but I've got a poem that

221
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,920
Speaker 1: I don't know if I've ever shared with you that

222
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,160
Speaker 1: I looked up because I wanted to finish the podcast

223
00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:51,520
Speaker 1: with this poem. I discovered it maybe when I was

224
00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:54,839
Speaker 1: about eighteen or nineteen, and it's always hung around in

225
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,640
Speaker 1: my head and it's amazing me. Maybe I have shared

226
00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:59,000
Speaker 1: it with you, but I don't think I have. I

227
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:01,120
Speaker 1: want to read this to you. This is a definition

228
00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,520
Speaker 1: of success. The poem. We don't know who wrote it.

229
00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:05,520
Speaker 1: I've googled it and it says by anonymous, but it

230
00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:10,320
Speaker 1: says this success is speaking words of praise, in cheering

231
00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:13,800
Speaker 1: other people's ways, in doing just the best you can

232
00:12:14,679 --> 00:12:19,360
Speaker 1: with every task and every plan. It's silence when your

233
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:25,719
Speaker 1: speech would hurt, politeness when your neighbors curt it's deafness

234
00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:31,040
Speaker 1: when the scandal flows, and sympathy with others woes. It's

235
00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:38,560
Speaker 1: loyalty when duty calls. It's courage when disaster falls. It's

236
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:41,680
Speaker 1: patience when the hours are long. It's found in laughter

237
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:45,280
Speaker 1: and in song. It's in the silent time of prayer,

238
00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:50,560
Speaker 1: in happiness and in despair. In all of life and

239
00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:54,720
Speaker 1: nothing less, we find the thing we call success.

240
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,679
Speaker 2: I remember once having a conversation with a really good

241
00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:02,280
Speaker 2: friend of mine who, when I was struggling to recognize

242
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:06,480
Speaker 2: my own worth in a dark moment, reminded me of

243
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:09,000
Speaker 2: how we feel about a brand new baby that comes

244
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:12,840
Speaker 2: into our world and we've obviously just experienced that in

245
00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:16,720
Speaker 2: our home. They have done nothing to earn our love

246
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:20,319
Speaker 2: and our desire for their wellbeing. They've done nothing, and

247
00:13:20,679 --> 00:13:25,320
Speaker 2: just them being, just them existing brings us so much

248
00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:29,280
Speaker 2: joy and so much love and desire to keep them

249
00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:32,679
Speaker 2: safe and bless them with every good thing. And yet

250
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:38,280
Speaker 2: somewhere along the line, we go from a feeling that

251
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:41,600
Speaker 2: to feeling like the only way we can experience that

252
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:43,360
Speaker 2: same kind of love and joy in our lives is

253
00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:47,640
Speaker 2: to prove that we're of worth, to prove that we

254
00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:52,680
Speaker 2: have been successful. And as I think about all of

255
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:57,440
Speaker 2: the stress that our school leaders are experiencing in this moment,

256
00:13:57,840 --> 00:13:59,560
Speaker 2: one of the best things as parents that we can

257
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,840
Speaker 2: do for them is to just remind them that no

258
00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:05,880
Speaker 2: matter what, no matter the outcome, that they have got

259
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,960
Speaker 2: a marvelous future ahead of them, that their worth is

260
00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,880
Speaker 2: not tied up to the results that are going to

261
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:15,040
Speaker 2: come out in a few months time. That they can

262
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:18,320
Speaker 2: achieve the things that they want to. But everybody has

263
00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:20,920
Speaker 2: an individual path and there are so many different ways

264
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:21,360
Speaker 2: to do it.

265
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:27,360
Speaker 1: So let's wrap up. Finishing school does matter. Education matters,

266
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,680
Speaker 1: but developing a love of learning and a desire to

267
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:34,240
Speaker 1: continue learning after school. For example, we're not trying to

268
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:37,680
Speaker 1: get through UNI. We're trying to get UNI through us.

269
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,320
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think if I could restate what you've just said,

270
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:46,920
Speaker 2: I think education is imperative. I don't think school. Finishing

271
00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:52,240
Speaker 2: school at all costs is how we need to view things.

272
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:55,800
Speaker 2: There are different ways for us to receive an education,

273
00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:57,640
Speaker 2: and I think we need to be fine tuned to

274
00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:04,040
Speaker 2: our kids' individual needs to recognize how education is played

275
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:05,080
Speaker 2: out in their lives.

276
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:08,640
Speaker 1: Okay, nice recap, plenty to think about. Good luck to

277
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:10,600
Speaker 1: everyone who is going through their exams. Remember you are

278
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:13,840
Speaker 1: not your atar. Your value is in you, not in

279
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:17,640
Speaker 1: your grade. And we hope that we've inspired some useful

280
00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:20,920
Speaker 1: conversations as we've talked about education at this time of year.

281
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,160
Speaker 1: The Happy Famili's podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from

282
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:26,080
Speaker 1: Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer. If you'd

283
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:28,320
Speaker 1: like more info about making your family happy, visit happy

284
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:33,000
Speaker 1: families dot com dot au or visit us at Dr

285
00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:35,840
Speaker 1: Justin Corson's Happy Families on Facebook