WEBVTT - Shame, Guilt & Vulnerability with Steph Claire Smith and Laura Henshaw

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<v Speaker 1>I'd like to acknowledge the traditional owners on which this

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<v Speaker 1>episode is being recorded, the combo marry people. We pay

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<v Speaker 1>our respects to elders past, present and emerging, and extend

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<v Speaker 1>that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples.

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<v Speaker 1>Today I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson, and this is the

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<v Speaker 1>Rise and Conquer Podcast. This is the podcast where which

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<v Speaker 1>have mindset, self development and becoming your higher self mix

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<v Speaker 1>soon with a lot of laughs, plus behind the scenes

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<v Speaker 1>of my life running two businesses and being among Think

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<v Speaker 1>of us as the perfect combo of brunch with your

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<v Speaker 1>besties mixed with self development. No matter where you are

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<v Speaker 1>in your journey, We're here to help you be curious,

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<v Speaker 1>pull yourself out, and embrace radical self awareness.

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<v Speaker 2>If you're ready to get into.

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<v Speaker 1>The driver's seat of your own life and stop letting

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<v Speaker 1>life past you by, then you're in the right place.

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<v Speaker 1>Hello everybody, and welcome back to the R and C

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<v Speaker 1>Potty Happy Tuesday. Today we have the most amazing episode

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<v Speaker 1>for you. I interviewed Steph Claire Smith and Laura Henshaw

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<v Speaker 1>from Keep It Cleaner and we chatted about their new book,

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<v Speaker 1>You Take Care. It was so incredible chatting to these girls.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, I love them on social media and

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<v Speaker 1>they just wowed me even more when I chatted to them.

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<v Speaker 2>And I think you guys are just going to.

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<v Speaker 1>Be obsessed with this episode. So what we chat about

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<v Speaker 1>today is the power of vulnerability, the four major shame triggers, mum, guilt,

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<v Speaker 1>being anti before and afters putting in an extraordinary effort.

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<v Speaker 1>I love that we spoke about that too, major well

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<v Speaker 1>hustle culture, and.

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<v Speaker 2>So much more. It was honestly such a beautiful.

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<v Speaker 1>I cannot wait for you guys to hear it. But first,

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<v Speaker 1>a Tear, what is your weekly recommendation.

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<v Speaker 3>Because we do it on Tuesday now, I have to ah, sure,

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<v Speaker 3>so number one is Georgie's collection?

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<v Speaker 4>All right?

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<v Speaker 5>You can have to.

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<v Speaker 3>Honestly be best pre workout and proteins labor. And I, guys,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm nagging every day to get this restocked, and she

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<v Speaker 3>keeps yelling at me, so I don't think it's happening.

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<v Speaker 5>Every time I.

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<v Speaker 1>Walk into the podcast room, A Tear just looks over

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<v Speaker 1>at me and it's like, surely you're restocking, like you

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<v Speaker 1>have to shit, because like you know, they ask about

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<v Speaker 1>like how the launchment and the sales and you know

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<v Speaker 1>that sort of thing.

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<v Speaker 2>And then A Tear is like, well, sure you can see,

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<v Speaker 2>surely you're restocking.

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<v Speaker 1>If that's flavor, I'm like, no, a tear hashtag integrity.

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<v Speaker 2>No, trust me, guys.

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<v Speaker 1>We have so much fun stuff in the pipelines for

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<v Speaker 1>and h it's just it's not on the calendar and

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<v Speaker 1>it is. It's like, if I tell you, guys that's

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<v Speaker 1>limited edition, it has to be into edition, which I respect. Yes, upset,

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<v Speaker 1>but respect upset.

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<v Speaker 2>And it's also.

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<v Speaker 1>Fun because it's like, these flavors come out and they're special,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's going to remind you about this time you've

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<v Speaker 1>your life so stuck up you can reminisce about this

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<v Speaker 1>the time. And also just an fyi, it's over halfway

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<v Speaker 1>sold out a tear, So if you know the RNC community,

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<v Speaker 1>do you want to stock up?

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<v Speaker 2>Just letting you know, now's the time, we'll put a

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<v Speaker 2>link in a deal. Will put her affiliate link. Not

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<v Speaker 2>even joking, guys, I don't have an affiliate Just sure tea.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm sure will be interested. I better I be interested

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<v Speaker 2>to see what the back ends tears like. Just use

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<v Speaker 2>this link the fifteen t fifteen I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

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<v Speaker 2>What's your other recommendation?

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<v Speaker 3>Vine my second recommendation. I saw this TikTok and I

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<v Speaker 3>will pop that link in the show notes for the TikTok,

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<v Speaker 3>But it has days to add to your calendar each month,

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<v Speaker 3>and I thought, since it's the first of or just

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<v Speaker 3>past the first of the month, this would be the

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<v Speaker 3>perfect time to bring it up. So one whole spa day,

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<v Speaker 3>one day without socials, one day spent outdoors, one day

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<v Speaker 3>with friends to check up on them, one movie night

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<v Speaker 3>or dinner party, one day spent being a tourist in

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<v Speaker 3>neighborhood cities, one day entirely to help someone else, one

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<v Speaker 3>day to learn something new even if it's not directly

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<v Speaker 3>beneficial to your life. And one me day dedicated to

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<v Speaker 3>doing things that keep my energy healthy.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, I love this.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, So I think just trying to put things like

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<v Speaker 3>that into your month, but even trying to get half

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<v Speaker 3>of them in, just so you have some variety and

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<v Speaker 3>you're actually feeding all those buckets or feeding all your cups,

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<v Speaker 3>filling your cup.

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<v Speaker 2>That's my recommendation. I love that. My recommendation is my

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<v Speaker 2>monthly intentions.

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<v Speaker 1>So I actually put this on Instagram already, but I

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<v Speaker 1>wanted to like explain them a bit more because I

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<v Speaker 1>really like them this month and they were like made

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<v Speaker 1>very intentionally, but the vibe for the month. So first one,

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<v Speaker 1>give myself the generous interpretation I give others. I'm doing

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<v Speaker 1>this new thing where I'm giving everyone the and I've

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<v Speaker 1>been doing it for a couple of months now, the

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<v Speaker 1>most generous interpretation of For example, if you know, a

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<v Speaker 1>tea says she's sick, I'm not going to be.

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<v Speaker 2>Like she's just trying to get out of work or like.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, yeah, you can go to those low vibe thoughts.

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<v Speaker 1>It's almost the natural human thing to go to the

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<v Speaker 1>low vibe thoughts because it's a protection mechanism. Yeah, so

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<v Speaker 1>you don't get like fooled all that sort of you're prepared,

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<v Speaker 1>you're prepared. But I have been really leaning into this

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<v Speaker 1>concept of being over generous with everyone in regards to

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<v Speaker 1>you know, for example, me and Tim had to fight

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<v Speaker 1>the other night, and a conversation, not a fight, and

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<v Speaker 1>it's like I said to him, like, no, no, I

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<v Speaker 1>believe that you had the best intentions.

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<v Speaker 2>But I'm just bringing this up so we can get

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<v Speaker 2>clear on our boundaries, but like love that.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so like making like really not going to the

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<v Speaker 1>most loath vibe thought. And I've been doing that for

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<v Speaker 1>a couple of months and it has been incredible just

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<v Speaker 1>for me personally. But I realize I do it to

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<v Speaker 1>everyone else, but not to myself, So I go straight

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<v Speaker 1>to the low vibe. Oh you know, you know, the

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<v Speaker 1>shame or guild of you should have worked out, or

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<v Speaker 1>you shouldn't have.

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<v Speaker 2>Said that, or you know, just the stories in your head.

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<v Speaker 1>And even though I'm getting better, So this month, I'm like, no,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna be very overgenerous with myself.

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<v Speaker 3>I love that so much.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so that's the first one.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll second one, intentionally take time to celebrate myself. So,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, had some really big exciting things happened, and

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<v Speaker 1>I just I don't, I don't celebrate myself. But I'm

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<v Speaker 1>like being really okay, No, I'm gonna celebrate myself. I'm gonna,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, take myself to dinner or buy myself something

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<v Speaker 1>or even just sit in the feeling of celebrating myself

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<v Speaker 1>and not getting it from other people. Yes, so usually

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<v Speaker 1>try and get it from other people.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>The next one, my boundaries don't have to make sense

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<v Speaker 1>to others. I'm working on my boundary so much right now.

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<v Speaker 1>You guys watch out, And a huge thing is like

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<v Speaker 1>they don't have to make complete sense to others, Like

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<v Speaker 1>I don't have to then explain them and try and

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<v Speaker 1>make them sense to others. It's like, I just get

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<v Speaker 1>to do what's best for me. And the next one,

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<v Speaker 1>stop pretending I don't know the answer. So we went

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<v Speaker 1>through this the other day a tear when I was

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<v Speaker 1>picking someone new for the team, and it was like,

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<v Speaker 1>I know the answer, Like stop trying to go around

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<v Speaker 1>in circles or like pretend. It's like no, I get

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<v Speaker 1>to actually just know the answer. I get to tap

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<v Speaker 1>into my intuition. And I think a lot of the

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<v Speaker 1>time we poll other people or we think that we

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<v Speaker 1>can't go straight to the answer because it's just not.

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<v Speaker 2>What we usually do.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but I'm like, now you stop pretending, George, you

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<v Speaker 1>know the answer. I love that, And even that sentence,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, yeah, of course they do.

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<v Speaker 2>So that's the cool thing I'm leaning into.

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<v Speaker 1>And then the last one knowing like my truest expression

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<v Speaker 1>is always the way, And that was just really solidified

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<v Speaker 1>recently in the NH event, because the whole event was

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<v Speaker 1>about the seven Rules for being Your Best Friend, which

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<v Speaker 1>has really come from my self development journey.

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<v Speaker 2>The last couple of months.

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<v Speaker 1>And you know, that was and h's biggest launch and

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<v Speaker 1>it did so well. And it's like it was me

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<v Speaker 1>just being me and really locking in who I am

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<v Speaker 1>and expressing that. And I think sometimes like I forget that.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like things get to be you know, when you

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<v Speaker 1>lock into your authenticity and when you lock into yourself,

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<v Speaker 1>like things get.

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<v Speaker 2>To be really amazing.

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<v Speaker 1>And that was such a cool moment to be like,

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<v Speaker 1>oh no, that that is so true, Like when I

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<v Speaker 1>lock into me, it gets.

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<v Speaker 2>To be really incredible.

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<v Speaker 5>I love that. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>So then my monthly intentions I wanted to explain just

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<v Speaker 1>because the Instagram post was a bit vague, but I

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<v Speaker 1>always tell you guys everything, and I really encourage you

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<v Speaker 1>guys to sit down and write some intentions. I love

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<v Speaker 1>that you brought that in a tier two because it's

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<v Speaker 1>like that's so cool that it's like, let's actually just

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<v Speaker 1>be intentional.

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<v Speaker 2>With the month.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, so just take this intro and get your notebook

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<v Speaker 3>out and add all this stuff into.

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<v Speaker 2>Your your month. I love it. And then get ready

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<v Speaker 2>for the best episode.

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<v Speaker 5>Let's get into it.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, thank you so much for taking the time.

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<v Speaker 1>So excited to have you back on the show, Laura

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<v Speaker 1>and Steph, so excited to have you on the show

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<v Speaker 1>for the first time.

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<v Speaker 6>Thank you.

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<v Speaker 4>It's so nice to finally meet you. And yeah, to

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<v Speaker 4>come on the show with big fans and.

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<v Speaker 2>Guys, this is incredible, so incredible.

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<v Speaker 6>Thank you.

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<v Speaker 2>You should be so proud.

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<v Speaker 1>Me my producer have both read it and are obsessed

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<v Speaker 1>with it, and it's just.

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<v Speaker 2>So so beautiful.

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<v Speaker 1>So I just wanted to say it be congratulations because

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<v Speaker 1>I could definitely understand that.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, birthing a book is a huge, huge thing.

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<v Speaker 1>So you guys, yeah, it's it's really really something to

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<v Speaker 1>be proud of.

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<v Speaker 6>Oh that seriously means so much. Thank you.

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<v Speaker 7>We yeah, we really appreciate it. I think when you

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<v Speaker 7>write a book, it's it's such an interesting process because

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<v Speaker 7>you know, it takes such a long time and you

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<v Speaker 7>write it almost like a year and a half before

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<v Speaker 7>it comes out, and so and we signed off and

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<v Speaker 7>it would have been around August last year was the

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<v Speaker 7>last time, like it off it went, and so then

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<v Speaker 7>there's this grating period of like, oh my goodness, it's done.

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<v Speaker 7>We can't do anything to it, we can't change it

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<v Speaker 7>like it is. It is what it is, right, and

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<v Speaker 7>then it's when it comes out to the world, it's

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<v Speaker 7>like will it be received, you know the way that

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<v Speaker 7>we hope so to hear that feedback is so special,

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<v Speaker 7>So thank you so so much.

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<v Speaker 1>No, No, of course, yeah, I think that would be

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<v Speaker 1>super interesting because especially like these days, you know, we

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<v Speaker 1>put something out on the Internet and it's kind of

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<v Speaker 1>like that instant gratification and that instant response, and you

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<v Speaker 1>can kind of you know, like see that response and

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<v Speaker 1>then you know, tweak things and be able to go

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<v Speaker 1>from there. Bit like a book, it's such like a

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<v Speaker 1>physical it's set, it's done things. So I can imagine

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<v Speaker 1>there being like a bit of like anticipation for that.

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<v Speaker 6>There's a lot of anticipation.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, first of all, I love that the book is

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<v Speaker 1>like it's split into three parts, so I know it's

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<v Speaker 1>like mind, body, and connection. And I absolutely love the

0:11:40.440 --> 0:11:42.800
<v Speaker 1>beginning of the book where you speak about the fact

0:11:42.920 --> 0:11:47.080
<v Speaker 1>that health and wellness go beyond sleeping well, eating nutritious foods,

0:11:47.160 --> 0:11:51.760
<v Speaker 1>exercising and meditating, and you really wanted to offer a deeper,

0:11:51.800 --> 0:11:56.120
<v Speaker 1>holistic support in the book. So I'm wondering, like, what

0:11:56.280 --> 0:12:00.480
<v Speaker 1>motivated you to include such a wide variety of topics

0:12:00.520 --> 0:12:03.720
<v Speaker 1>in the book, And why do you think it's important

0:12:03.760 --> 0:12:07.200
<v Speaker 1>to take that, you know, perspective when it comes to

0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:09.480
<v Speaker 1>our health, because you know that's what you guys are about.

0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:11.040
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, thank you so much.

0:12:11.080 --> 0:12:13.360
<v Speaker 4>I think for us, like a lot of the inspiration

0:12:13.440 --> 0:12:17.440
<v Speaker 4>actually comes from the community, the communication between our community,

0:12:17.520 --> 0:12:19.240
<v Speaker 4>So all of the conversations that we see going on

0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:21.680
<v Speaker 4>there and wanting to find confidence in applying for a

0:12:21.720 --> 0:12:25.360
<v Speaker 4>new job or needing relationship advice. There's so many different

0:12:25.360 --> 0:12:27.640
<v Speaker 4>topics that come up in that community because they all

0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:30.480
<v Speaker 4>understand that like having that connection with one another and

0:12:30.520 --> 0:12:33.880
<v Speaker 4>that support is definitely a huge aspect to their mental health,

0:12:33.920 --> 0:12:36.600
<v Speaker 4>which you know, overall is such a huge part of

0:12:36.600 --> 0:12:38.679
<v Speaker 4>our health overall. So I think as you go through

0:12:38.720 --> 0:12:41.600
<v Speaker 4>your twenties, you realize that there is so much more

0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:45.480
<v Speaker 4>to your health than sleep, you know, sleeping well, eating

0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:49.600
<v Speaker 4>nutritious foods, and exercising. I know at times in my

0:12:49.679 --> 0:12:53.640
<v Speaker 4>life where I've been able to truly prioritize exercise, you know,

0:12:53.760 --> 0:12:57.040
<v Speaker 4>eat really really well and not necessarily have any trouble sleeping.

0:12:57.320 --> 0:13:00.400
<v Speaker 4>There still could be something going on that is making

0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:04.120
<v Speaker 4>me mentally unwell or really unhappy. Might be financial stress,

0:13:04.240 --> 0:13:06.040
<v Speaker 4>It might be something going on with family and a

0:13:06.080 --> 0:13:08.599
<v Speaker 4>connection of mine, And so you realize that there is

0:13:08.720 --> 0:13:12.440
<v Speaker 4>just so many other pillars I suppose that come to

0:13:12.480 --> 0:13:14.960
<v Speaker 4>our overall health, and they're all just as important, and

0:13:15.640 --> 0:13:18.360
<v Speaker 4>it differs from person to person. So that's why we're

0:13:18.400 --> 0:13:20.680
<v Speaker 4>wanting to cover so much in the book, because they've

0:13:20.679 --> 0:13:24.479
<v Speaker 4>come from our lived experiences, our conversations on the podcast,

0:13:24.600 --> 0:13:27.480
<v Speaker 4>talking to the community members, and then also obviously getting

0:13:27.520 --> 0:13:30.320
<v Speaker 4>experts to contribute to the book was super special as well.

0:13:30.720 --> 0:13:33.480
<v Speaker 4>But I think for us it was like, if someone

0:13:33.480 --> 0:13:36.480
<v Speaker 4>can read this book front to back and relate to

0:13:36.559 --> 0:13:38.400
<v Speaker 4>some things, they might be able to relate.

0:13:38.160 --> 0:13:38.680
<v Speaker 6>To a lot of it.

0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:41.000
<v Speaker 4>They might be able to relate to certain chapters or

0:13:41.040 --> 0:13:43.559
<v Speaker 4>certain topics, But if they can kind of doggy tag

0:13:43.600 --> 0:13:46.000
<v Speaker 4>the corner or highlight it and come back to things,

0:13:46.000 --> 0:13:48.080
<v Speaker 4>I think that's what's really special to us. I know

0:13:48.120 --> 0:13:51.040
<v Speaker 4>I will be revisiting this book like both in my

0:13:51.120 --> 0:13:54.240
<v Speaker 4>own writing, almost like a journal of my own, but

0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:57.240
<v Speaker 4>also the chapters that really inspired me kind of even

0:13:57.280 --> 0:13:59.320
<v Speaker 4>get through the writing process. Some of the chapters that

0:13:59.640 --> 0:14:02.360
<v Speaker 4>Laura to I found truly inspiring. So I think it's

0:14:02.400 --> 0:14:04.280
<v Speaker 4>just going to be one of those really cool books

0:14:04.320 --> 0:14:08.120
<v Speaker 4>that has the touches on basically anything to help someone

0:14:08.280 --> 0:14:09.160
<v Speaker 4>find their feel good.

0:14:10.240 --> 0:14:12.800
<v Speaker 1>I love that so much. And it was it was

0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:15.600
<v Speaker 1>so insightful because You're so right. There was parts where

0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:17.679
<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh my god, I can resonate. It's

0:14:17.679 --> 0:14:20.080
<v Speaker 1>actually funny. There was quite a few parts where I'm like,

0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:23.600
<v Speaker 1>oh my god, I'm literally processing that right now. And

0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:25.560
<v Speaker 1>then there was parts where I was like, that's just

0:14:25.680 --> 0:14:29.680
<v Speaker 1>really insightful to know what someone else could be going through,

0:14:30.200 --> 0:14:34.920
<v Speaker 1>because you know, I'm in my twenties and I feel

0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:37.240
<v Speaker 1>like this is really the part where I'm like not

0:14:37.360 --> 0:14:40.040
<v Speaker 1>only finding out about, you know, my problems and what

0:14:40.160 --> 0:14:42.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm processing, but also what other people are too.

0:14:43.000 --> 0:14:45.360
<v Speaker 2>And I just love that you encompass that in the book.

0:14:45.840 --> 0:14:47.840
<v Speaker 6>Thank you. That means that means so much.

0:14:47.960 --> 0:14:50.520
<v Speaker 1>Well, speaking of that like something that I was I'm

0:14:50.600 --> 0:14:53.520
<v Speaker 1>currently really diving into at the moment, and so I

0:14:53.640 --> 0:14:56.920
<v Speaker 1>love that in it was in the book was vulnerability.

0:14:57.400 --> 0:14:59.880
<v Speaker 2>So in the book, I love that.

0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:02.480
<v Speaker 1>You kind of explain that, you know, there's so much

0:15:02.560 --> 0:15:08.000
<v Speaker 1>power in being vulnerable. But it doesn't necessarily mean revealing

0:15:08.120 --> 0:15:12.000
<v Speaker 1>all our deeper, darker secrets. I would love to hear

0:15:12.640 --> 0:15:15.520
<v Speaker 1>why you think there's a hidden power in being vulnerable

0:15:15.680 --> 0:15:17.920
<v Speaker 1>and if you have any tips for the R and

0:15:17.960 --> 0:15:20.400
<v Speaker 1>C community on how it can be a bit more vulnerable,

0:15:20.400 --> 0:15:22.400
<v Speaker 1>because it is hard because you're like, what do I

0:15:22.520 --> 0:15:24.000
<v Speaker 1>just tell her on my whole life?

0:15:24.120 --> 0:15:26.960
<v Speaker 2>Or you know, how do I not emotionally dump on everyone?

0:15:27.080 --> 0:15:28.160
<v Speaker 2>Like what is this about?

0:15:28.440 --> 0:15:30.400
<v Speaker 6>One hundred percent? And I think it's vulnerability too.

0:15:30.480 --> 0:15:33.200
<v Speaker 7>I think I think it's amazing that publicly people are

0:15:33.200 --> 0:15:36.200
<v Speaker 7>having a lot more i suppose, quote unquote vulnerable conversations

0:15:36.240 --> 0:15:39.560
<v Speaker 7>than before in open conversations. But I think there's some

0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:42.400
<v Speaker 7>whys it have been cross in terms of vulnerability. And

0:15:42.440 --> 0:15:44.960
<v Speaker 7>this is why I really love Brene Brown's work that

0:15:45.040 --> 0:15:48.280
<v Speaker 7>she has done on vulnerability, because for a lot of people,

0:15:48.360 --> 0:15:50.320
<v Speaker 7>I think they might think that in order to be vulnerable,

0:15:50.360 --> 0:15:51.880
<v Speaker 7>they have to you know, get on a microphone or

0:15:51.960 --> 0:15:54.800
<v Speaker 7>yell from the rooftops, you know, their biggest secret, as

0:15:54.840 --> 0:15:56.640
<v Speaker 7>you said, or something that they're really going through. That's

0:15:56.680 --> 0:15:59.360
<v Speaker 7>really hard, and I think it's really important that to

0:15:59.400 --> 0:16:03.640
<v Speaker 7>acknowledge that that's actually not essentially vulnerability. So if I

0:16:03.640 --> 0:16:07.200
<v Speaker 7>were to come on the podcast and reveals I'm trying

0:16:07.200 --> 0:16:09.080
<v Speaker 7>to think of an example, just saying I've had an

0:16:09.200 --> 0:16:11.880
<v Speaker 7>argument with my sister, just as an example. And if

0:16:11.920 --> 0:16:14.200
<v Speaker 7>I get on the podcast and speak openly about this

0:16:14.360 --> 0:16:17.440
<v Speaker 7>argument with my sister and how I feel instead of

0:16:17.480 --> 0:16:20.840
<v Speaker 7>going to my sister and talking to her, that's not vulnerability.

0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:23.200
<v Speaker 6>Even though the podcast goes out to you know, tens.

0:16:22.960 --> 0:16:26.360
<v Speaker 7>Of thousands of people, it's about going into So I

0:16:26.360 --> 0:16:28.920
<v Speaker 7>think it's important to listen for any or to remember

0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:31.000
<v Speaker 7>for anyone listening that you know might not have a

0:16:31.040 --> 0:16:33.840
<v Speaker 7>platform or on Instagram or whatever, that doesn't mean that

0:16:34.120 --> 0:16:36.800
<v Speaker 7>you can't be vulnerable. And so the way that we

0:16:36.880 --> 0:16:38.560
<v Speaker 7>explore it in the book is is, you know, it's

0:16:38.600 --> 0:16:40.400
<v Speaker 7>applying for a job when you don't know if you're

0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:42.520
<v Speaker 7>going to get it. It's telling someone that you love

0:16:42.640 --> 0:16:44.160
<v Speaker 7>them when you don't know if they're going to say

0:16:44.160 --> 0:16:48.400
<v Speaker 7>it back. It's apologizing for something that you know you

0:16:48.440 --> 0:16:50.720
<v Speaker 7>did and you you did wrong and you want to

0:16:50.720 --> 0:16:51.280
<v Speaker 7>make it right.

0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:53.800
<v Speaker 6>And knowing that when you go and when you go.

0:16:53.760 --> 0:16:55.800
<v Speaker 7>And say to your friend or for example, with my sister,

0:16:55.840 --> 0:16:57.520
<v Speaker 7>in that example, when I go and say to my sister.

0:16:57.560 --> 0:16:59.840
<v Speaker 6>Hey, I'm really sorry for what I did. I'm really

0:17:00.240 --> 0:17:00.840
<v Speaker 6>I've hurt you.

0:17:01.480 --> 0:17:04.399
<v Speaker 7>That is confronting to do that, right like that, that's

0:17:04.480 --> 0:17:06.840
<v Speaker 7>vulnerability because I don't know how she's going to react.

0:17:07.320 --> 0:17:09.640
<v Speaker 7>But I think it is really really important. It's also

0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:11.639
<v Speaker 7>you know, saying like it's something that Steph and I

0:17:11.680 --> 0:17:13.719
<v Speaker 7>do in our leadership all the time at kick is

0:17:14.040 --> 0:17:16.199
<v Speaker 7>with our team, we don't lead in a way that

0:17:16.240 --> 0:17:16.960
<v Speaker 7>we know everything.

0:17:17.800 --> 0:17:20.280
<v Speaker 6>We're very comfortable, you know, we don't know everything. We

0:17:20.320 --> 0:17:20.800
<v Speaker 6>don't know the.

0:17:20.760 --> 0:17:22.879
<v Speaker 7>Answer to this, like let's find it out together. We

0:17:22.920 --> 0:17:25.120
<v Speaker 7>also don't always get it right. And I think that's

0:17:25.119 --> 0:17:27.240
<v Speaker 7>really really important to talk about it. And I think

0:17:27.400 --> 0:17:29.880
<v Speaker 7>one of the biggest powers is vulnerability, especially in terms

0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:32.680
<v Speaker 7>of social media, and something that's really important to Steph

0:17:32.680 --> 0:17:35.240
<v Speaker 7>and and I know you do it so well as well,

0:17:35.880 --> 0:17:38.280
<v Speaker 7>is wanting people to realize that I think if we

0:17:38.400 --> 0:17:42.200
<v Speaker 7>kind of position ourselves as these perfect quote unquote people

0:17:42.240 --> 0:17:43.840
<v Speaker 7>that you know, never have any hard times and then

0:17:43.840 --> 0:17:46.720
<v Speaker 7>never go through anything tough and never feel uncomfortable or

0:17:46.760 --> 0:17:50.560
<v Speaker 7>about conversations or never get anything wrong, that's really not

0:17:51.000 --> 0:17:54.560
<v Speaker 7>doing everyone that follows us and our community that it's

0:17:54.600 --> 0:17:55.040
<v Speaker 7>doing them.

0:17:54.920 --> 0:17:57.119
<v Speaker 6>A disservice because that's not true.

0:17:57.320 --> 0:17:59.560
<v Speaker 7>And I think if we can show that, people that

0:17:59.680 --> 0:18:01.760
<v Speaker 7>you know might look to us and think that, I

0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:04.600
<v Speaker 7>mean people do look at look at us everyone and

0:18:04.760 --> 0:18:07.960
<v Speaker 7>maybe say, oh, you're successful. And but I think it's

0:18:08.000 --> 0:18:10.520
<v Speaker 7>really really important to speak about the fact that you

0:18:10.560 --> 0:18:13.080
<v Speaker 7>don't want your the people that follow you to think that, oh, no,

0:18:13.240 --> 0:18:15.359
<v Speaker 7>they're successful because they're perfect and I'm not like them

0:18:15.400 --> 0:18:16.879
<v Speaker 7>and they don't go through all these hard things and

0:18:16.920 --> 0:18:20.080
<v Speaker 7>they get everything right, because it's kind of then setting

0:18:20.119 --> 0:18:22.080
<v Speaker 7>up setting them up to not believe that they can

0:18:22.119 --> 0:18:24.040
<v Speaker 7>do it. And that's absolutely not the case at all,

0:18:24.040 --> 0:18:26.359
<v Speaker 7>Like we get so many things wrong and that's okay.

0:18:26.640 --> 0:18:29.520
<v Speaker 6>It's just so important. There's so much power in talking

0:18:29.520 --> 0:18:29.800
<v Speaker 6>about it.

0:18:29.800 --> 0:18:32.040
<v Speaker 7>And I think too, it's how you establish real connection

0:18:32.119 --> 0:18:34.400
<v Speaker 7>with absolutely and that's special.

0:18:34.680 --> 0:18:35.600
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, one hundred percent.

0:18:35.680 --> 0:18:38.240
<v Speaker 4>I think going back to your point on leadership, I mean,

0:18:38.280 --> 0:18:43.159
<v Speaker 4>with our team, it's for us, vulnerability is not a

0:18:43.160 --> 0:18:45.760
<v Speaker 4>weakness and being able to be open to the team

0:18:46.119 --> 0:18:48.600
<v Speaker 4>about something that we might even be struggling through or

0:18:48.680 --> 0:18:50.919
<v Speaker 4>not trying to like hide. You know, obviously we're not

0:18:50.960 --> 0:18:52.240
<v Speaker 4>going to show all of.

0:18:52.200 --> 0:18:54.240
<v Speaker 6>That all the time. We don't you know there's a

0:18:54.240 --> 0:18:54.960
<v Speaker 6>lot that goes on.

0:18:55.040 --> 0:18:58.240
<v Speaker 8>You don't want to emotion a damn people trying to

0:18:58.240 --> 0:19:00.719
<v Speaker 8>find that balancing the balance right, But it's so you

0:19:00.760 --> 0:19:03.200
<v Speaker 8>want to create a space where I mean, I would

0:19:03.200 --> 0:19:05.680
<v Speaker 8>hope that anyone in our team would feel comfortable enough

0:19:06.080 --> 0:19:09.000
<v Speaker 8>to say, hey, I'm not feeling okay today.

0:19:09.520 --> 0:19:11.280
<v Speaker 4>They don't necessarily have to go into what's going on

0:19:11.359 --> 0:19:14.119
<v Speaker 4>in their life, but to feel comfortable in being open.

0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:16.240
<v Speaker 4>And I think the more that you have these conversations,

0:19:16.320 --> 0:19:18.880
<v Speaker 4>less taboo they become, and more and more people feel

0:19:18.920 --> 0:19:22.639
<v Speaker 4>comfortable to be open. And for me, when I'm struggling

0:19:22.680 --> 0:19:25.840
<v Speaker 4>through anything mentally, I know for sure it's when I

0:19:25.920 --> 0:19:27.800
<v Speaker 4>don't open up about it. It doesn't have to be

0:19:27.840 --> 0:19:29.600
<v Speaker 4>to everyone could just beat a Laura, could just be

0:19:29.680 --> 0:19:31.720
<v Speaker 4>a Josh. But I know when I bottle it up

0:19:31.760 --> 0:19:33.760
<v Speaker 4>and I don't think it through or talk it through

0:19:33.760 --> 0:19:37.080
<v Speaker 4>with anyone else, it it just gets to boiling point

0:19:37.200 --> 0:19:39.440
<v Speaker 4>and it just gets worse and worse and worse until

0:19:39.440 --> 0:19:40.320
<v Speaker 4>I implode.

0:19:41.200 --> 0:19:42.560
<v Speaker 2>That's so true.

0:19:42.560 --> 0:19:45.720
<v Speaker 1>If you keep it all inside, it comes out in

0:19:46.000 --> 0:19:48.800
<v Speaker 1>like toxic you know, it can come out and like

0:19:49.000 --> 0:19:52.800
<v Speaker 1>not so great ways. And that's even something like Steph

0:19:52.960 --> 0:19:56.159
<v Speaker 1>I really resonated when you do, because I have a

0:19:56.200 --> 0:19:59.720
<v Speaker 1>fifteen month old and I went back to work when

0:19:59.760 --> 0:20:02.720
<v Speaker 1>she was about four months old, so you know, I'm

0:20:02.760 --> 0:20:06.040
<v Speaker 1>going through that whole journey. And then it's really really

0:20:06.240 --> 0:20:09.560
<v Speaker 1>beautiful when you do your posts about how you know

0:20:09.680 --> 0:20:13.240
<v Speaker 1>you're struggling with the journey of being a working mum

0:20:13.359 --> 0:20:15.800
<v Speaker 1>and coming back to work or whether it was breastfeeding

0:20:15.800 --> 0:20:20.240
<v Speaker 1>and those sorts of things and those moments, it's almost

0:20:20.400 --> 0:20:25.119
<v Speaker 1>like you then gave me permission to validate that I

0:20:25.280 --> 0:20:26.439
<v Speaker 1>was also struggling and.

0:20:26.440 --> 0:20:30.000
<v Speaker 2>I didn't have to keep this mask on that.

0:20:30.080 --> 0:20:33.240
<v Speaker 1>Everything's fine and you know, getting it all done, and

0:20:33.600 --> 0:20:37.240
<v Speaker 1>it when like we are vulnerable, it gives others that

0:20:37.359 --> 0:20:42.320
<v Speaker 1>permission to not be perfect. And then it's like it's

0:20:42.440 --> 0:20:45.840
<v Speaker 1>like this weightlifts like off your shoulders and you're like, oh,

0:20:46.200 --> 0:20:48.480
<v Speaker 1>I can actually just you know, try and figure this

0:20:48.560 --> 0:20:51.320
<v Speaker 1>out and not be perfect and it can be fine,

0:20:51.480 --> 0:20:53.560
<v Speaker 1>which I just I think is so amazing, And you

0:20:53.640 --> 0:20:56.800
<v Speaker 1>both do that so well on your social media's.

0:20:56.840 --> 0:20:58.800
<v Speaker 2>It's really really really incredible.

0:21:00.160 --> 0:21:02.879
<v Speaker 4>Thank you, thank you, And we do feel the same way,

0:21:02.920 --> 0:21:06.359
<v Speaker 4>and I think that's why we often find ourselves, you know,

0:21:06.480 --> 0:21:10.000
<v Speaker 4>scrolling within our own communities because as much as they're

0:21:10.000 --> 0:21:12.040
<v Speaker 4>there for each other and talking through things like that,

0:21:12.119 --> 0:21:14.960
<v Speaker 4>it's it's so beautiful and warming to be a part

0:21:14.960 --> 0:21:17.359
<v Speaker 4>of that. And I suppose to comment in anything that

0:21:17.400 --> 0:21:19.480
<v Speaker 4>we can, but also go to them if we if

0:21:19.520 --> 0:21:21.640
<v Speaker 4>we need something as well. It's the most supportive group

0:21:21.720 --> 0:21:23.439
<v Speaker 4>of people. And I think once you find your people

0:21:23.440 --> 0:21:26.200
<v Speaker 4>that you know, you can open up to and they

0:21:26.200 --> 0:21:28.680
<v Speaker 4>may or may not have the answers for you and

0:21:28.760 --> 0:21:30.919
<v Speaker 4>look to be honest, with the book, it is much

0:21:31.000 --> 0:21:32.600
<v Speaker 4>more of a guide. It's not a rule book. They're

0:21:32.600 --> 0:21:35.239
<v Speaker 4>not like we haven't like figured life out and like

0:21:35.359 --> 0:21:37.480
<v Speaker 4>this is it on a platter, this is how you

0:21:37.560 --> 0:21:38.440
<v Speaker 4>live the perfect life.

0:21:38.480 --> 0:21:39.720
<v Speaker 6>It's it's absolutely not the case.

0:21:39.760 --> 0:21:43.240
<v Speaker 4>But through lived experience we've found tools and things that

0:21:43.320 --> 0:21:46.280
<v Speaker 4>have helped us make things better or easier.

0:21:46.480 --> 0:21:48.000
<v Speaker 6>And that's what it is.

0:21:48.040 --> 0:21:50.439
<v Speaker 4>And it's if it's not the book, then yeah, it's

0:21:50.520 --> 0:21:53.000
<v Speaker 4>finding your your people or your actions that can help

0:21:53.040 --> 0:21:55.160
<v Speaker 4>you through those those times. But I do agree whenever

0:21:55.200 --> 0:21:57.120
<v Speaker 4>you're struggling, I think one of the most comforting things

0:21:57.119 --> 0:21:57.919
<v Speaker 4>to know is that you're not.

0:21:58.960 --> 0:22:00.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's so powerful.

0:22:01.680 --> 0:22:05.959
<v Speaker 1>Another you know bit in the mind section, which I

0:22:06.080 --> 0:22:09.480
<v Speaker 1>just love that you guys focused on again something I'm

0:22:09.520 --> 0:22:10.600
<v Speaker 1>going through myself.

0:22:11.320 --> 0:22:14.320
<v Speaker 2>Something I resonated with. Who was you know.

0:22:14.520 --> 0:22:18.240
<v Speaker 1>Your bit that spoke about shame and how that actually

0:22:18.280 --> 0:22:19.800
<v Speaker 1>relates to self worth.

0:22:20.359 --> 0:22:23.320
<v Speaker 2>And there's this particular paragraph that just.

0:22:23.480 --> 0:22:26.119
<v Speaker 1>It spoke to me, and I'm going to include a

0:22:26.200 --> 0:22:27.919
<v Speaker 1>snippet here.

0:22:30.440 --> 0:22:32.359
<v Speaker 2>When shame thrives.

0:22:31.760 --> 0:22:36.240
<v Speaker 1>Inside us, it's impossible to decipher the difference between a

0:22:36.320 --> 0:22:39.120
<v Speaker 1>bad thing that happens because of us and a bad

0:22:39.119 --> 0:22:43.560
<v Speaker 1>thing that happens because of the uncontrollable external factor. Shame

0:22:43.680 --> 0:22:46.080
<v Speaker 1>leads us to the belief that we cause the bad

0:22:46.080 --> 0:22:48.399
<v Speaker 1>thing to happen because we are flawed, and that is

0:22:48.440 --> 0:22:51.680
<v Speaker 1>what we do. It's like doing multiple equations and many

0:22:51.720 --> 0:22:55.440
<v Speaker 1>different variables. No matter how many variables and equations you use,

0:22:55.760 --> 0:22:58.520
<v Speaker 1>the answer is always the same. No matter what, we

0:22:58.600 --> 0:23:01.840
<v Speaker 1>find a way to blame ourselves the problem, even when

0:23:02.040 --> 0:23:04.720
<v Speaker 1>it was caused by something outside our control.

0:23:07.400 --> 0:23:09.440
<v Speaker 2>I resonated with this so much.

0:23:09.480 --> 0:23:11.879
<v Speaker 1>And I also love that you know, you guys touched

0:23:11.880 --> 0:23:14.120
<v Speaker 1>on the four major shame triggers you mentioned the book

0:23:14.200 --> 0:23:18.560
<v Speaker 1>were break up shame, work shame, body shame, and fertility shame.

0:23:19.080 --> 0:23:22.480
<v Speaker 1>And these are all you know taboo things that you

0:23:22.560 --> 0:23:25.520
<v Speaker 1>just you don't hear a lot of conversations about because

0:23:25.840 --> 0:23:28.600
<v Speaker 1>they also have a lot to do with like failure.

0:23:29.240 --> 0:23:31.920
<v Speaker 1>And you know, I'm saying quote unquote failure, and I

0:23:32.000 --> 0:23:34.639
<v Speaker 1>would just love to hear, you know, if you guys

0:23:34.720 --> 0:23:37.679
<v Speaker 1>had an experience with one of these and what you

0:23:37.840 --> 0:23:41.080
<v Speaker 1>do to then reframe it and work through it.

0:23:41.359 --> 0:23:41.520
<v Speaker 6>Well.

0:23:41.560 --> 0:23:45.600
<v Speaker 7>I mean, I think for us we've navigated, I mean,

0:23:45.600 --> 0:23:48.960
<v Speaker 7>aside from fertility shame, and just for anyone that's listening

0:23:49.000 --> 0:23:51.040
<v Speaker 7>and thinking, you know what, what is that? It's when

0:23:51.440 --> 0:23:55.480
<v Speaker 7>if you do try to feel pregnant often and it's

0:23:55.480 --> 0:23:58.359
<v Speaker 7>often women, it's something that we do is It's also

0:23:58.480 --> 0:24:01.360
<v Speaker 7>it's really interesting in the online conversation around fertility generally,

0:24:01.720 --> 0:24:04.280
<v Speaker 7>if you are struggling to feel pregnant after you know,

0:24:04.359 --> 0:24:06.880
<v Speaker 7>I think after five tries, that's when the doctor recommends

0:24:06.920 --> 0:24:09.720
<v Speaker 7>that you go and see fertility specialists stuff to five months.

0:24:10.600 --> 0:24:13.560
<v Speaker 7>It's often framed as or women often think that it's

0:24:13.560 --> 0:24:16.000
<v Speaker 7>it's their fauld and it's their body that's wrong and

0:24:16.040 --> 0:24:18.199
<v Speaker 7>it's that's why it's not working, when obviously there's that

0:24:18.280 --> 0:24:20.520
<v Speaker 7>you need in a heater SXU relationship or to make

0:24:20.520 --> 0:24:23.439
<v Speaker 7>a baby. You need a sperm and the egg, and

0:24:23.520 --> 0:24:25.440
<v Speaker 7>so that's what fertility shame is that for so for

0:24:25.480 --> 0:24:28.200
<v Speaker 7>Steph was you know, really lucky that she was able

0:24:28.240 --> 0:24:30.480
<v Speaker 7>to have Harvey and didn't go through that, And same

0:24:30.520 --> 0:24:31.960
<v Speaker 7>for me, It's not something that I've been through yet.

0:24:32.000 --> 0:24:34.400
<v Speaker 7>But with the other however, we did speak to people

0:24:34.440 --> 0:24:37.080
<v Speaker 7>in our community that have been through that. It's really

0:24:37.200 --> 0:24:39.119
<v Speaker 7>we really just wanted to talk about it because it

0:24:39.160 --> 0:24:41.840
<v Speaker 7>is it's such something that can feel so shameful and

0:24:41.880 --> 0:24:44.800
<v Speaker 7>we shouldn't. There's nothing that it doesn't make us any

0:24:44.840 --> 0:24:47.800
<v Speaker 7>less worthy, and that's so important. And with the other

0:24:47.920 --> 0:24:49.760
<v Speaker 7>types of shame, it's something that you know, we've both

0:24:49.920 --> 0:24:51.760
<v Speaker 7>been kind of navigated all of them, and I think

0:24:52.000 --> 0:24:54.000
<v Speaker 7>for me probably the one that I'm navigating the most

0:24:54.000 --> 0:24:56.640
<v Speaker 7>at the moment is, you know, is work shame And

0:24:56.920 --> 0:24:59.960
<v Speaker 7>when when we say that, what that means is when

0:25:00.080 --> 0:25:01.800
<v Speaker 7>you go through because obviously I have confidence at ebbs

0:25:01.800 --> 0:25:04.240
<v Speaker 7>and flows, it's a journey like it's never you're never

0:25:04.240 --> 0:25:05.680
<v Speaker 7>there and then you just kind of never have to

0:25:05.680 --> 0:25:06.240
<v Speaker 7>think about it.

0:25:06.240 --> 0:25:06.879
<v Speaker 6>Or do the work.

0:25:07.320 --> 0:25:09.919
<v Speaker 7>But in times when I've had a really low self confidence,

0:25:11.160 --> 0:25:15.280
<v Speaker 7>I have struggled to separate my any of the work

0:25:15.320 --> 0:25:18.560
<v Speaker 7>I do. If it doesn't do well, or a conversation

0:25:18.640 --> 0:25:20.639
<v Speaker 7>doesn't go well, or we don't get the outcome we

0:25:20.680 --> 0:25:24.000
<v Speaker 7>needed for the business, I have really struggled to separate.

0:25:24.400 --> 0:25:26.679
<v Speaker 7>So one of the examples that I speak to in

0:25:26.720 --> 0:25:31.520
<v Speaker 7>the book was when I presented to a group of

0:25:31.640 --> 0:25:34.480
<v Speaker 7>a very very corporate group on a phone call and

0:25:34.520 --> 0:25:36.639
<v Speaker 7>it was about kick and I remember getting off the

0:25:36.680 --> 0:25:38.960
<v Speaker 7>call and thinking, I muched that up.

0:25:39.080 --> 0:25:40.520
<v Speaker 6>I did a really shit job.

0:25:41.080 --> 0:25:43.320
<v Speaker 7>I didn't convey all the key messages that I needed to,

0:25:43.400 --> 0:25:46.160
<v Speaker 7>I wasn't confident in my delivery. I didn't articulate myself

0:25:46.200 --> 0:25:48.680
<v Speaker 7>while all those things. You know, there's one thing that happens,

0:25:48.680 --> 0:25:50.560
<v Speaker 7>and then you just go on this spiral and everything.

0:25:50.600 --> 0:25:53.000
<v Speaker 6>You just start critiquing everything. And I replayed the whole

0:25:53.040 --> 0:25:53.800
<v Speaker 6>meeting in my mind.

0:25:54.280 --> 0:25:55.760
<v Speaker 7>But it's interesting because I think when I did that,

0:25:55.840 --> 0:25:58.520
<v Speaker 7>I then created a narrative based on the fact that

0:25:58.560 --> 0:26:00.359
<v Speaker 7>I didn't think I did a good job. And so

0:26:00.480 --> 0:26:03.919
<v Speaker 7>then for three weeks in my head, with confidence with

0:26:03.960 --> 0:26:06.440
<v Speaker 7>everything else I was doing at work, I was everything

0:26:06.480 --> 0:26:08.960
<v Speaker 7>reverted back to It wasn't that that presentation didn't go

0:26:09.080 --> 0:26:12.280
<v Speaker 7>well because maybe or that I thought the people that

0:26:12.320 --> 0:26:14.240
<v Speaker 7>were receiving it, they weren't interested in what I was

0:26:14.280 --> 0:26:16.320
<v Speaker 7>talking about anyway, or maybe I didn't have enough time

0:26:16.359 --> 0:26:17.960
<v Speaker 7>to prepare or all those things, all.

0:26:17.800 --> 0:26:19.879
<v Speaker 6>The other elements that can go into it. All I

0:26:19.880 --> 0:26:21.280
<v Speaker 6>could can think.

0:26:21.040 --> 0:26:23.560
<v Speaker 7>To was, as we spoke about with that kind of

0:26:23.600 --> 0:26:27.679
<v Speaker 7>mathematical equation, every problem, everything that went wrong was because

0:26:27.720 --> 0:26:27.960
<v Speaker 7>of me.

0:26:28.440 --> 0:26:31.440
<v Speaker 6>And when we can't separate all the other.

0:26:31.320 --> 0:26:34.199
<v Speaker 7>Factors that go into if thing goes, things go right

0:26:34.280 --> 0:26:38.040
<v Speaker 7>or wrong, or successfully or not successfully, from ourselves, then

0:26:38.080 --> 0:26:39.919
<v Speaker 7>that is where we get in this shame where for

0:26:39.960 --> 0:26:42.600
<v Speaker 7>three weeks, everything I did, if it went wrong, I

0:26:42.640 --> 0:26:44.320
<v Speaker 7>was like, it's because of me. It's because I'm not

0:26:44.320 --> 0:26:46.320
<v Speaker 7>smart enough, it's because I don't get this, it's because

0:26:46.320 --> 0:26:48.560
<v Speaker 7>I haven't done enough work, and all of these things

0:26:48.560 --> 0:26:50.840
<v Speaker 7>that I couldn't really change. And it was really interesting

0:26:50.840 --> 0:26:52.680
<v Speaker 7>because then I got a call three weeks later about

0:26:52.680 --> 0:26:55.800
<v Speaker 7>the meeting and someone said, oh, it was a really

0:26:55.840 --> 0:26:58.600
<v Speaker 7>great meeting. We were so impressed, and it was so

0:26:58.640 --> 0:27:00.960
<v Speaker 7>funny because then I just looked and was laughing because

0:27:00.960 --> 0:27:02.800
<v Speaker 7>I was like, I've spent three weeks in my head

0:27:03.320 --> 0:27:05.240
<v Speaker 7>telling myself that I'm not good enough. I need to

0:27:05.240 --> 0:27:07.240
<v Speaker 7>do all this extra work. I should, you know, go

0:27:07.320 --> 0:27:11.160
<v Speaker 7>do something else or whatever, and I had completely made

0:27:11.160 --> 0:27:13.800
<v Speaker 7>it up. But what's really important is we have to

0:27:13.840 --> 0:27:16.000
<v Speaker 7>find a way and for anyone listening that that's going

0:27:16.040 --> 0:27:18.760
<v Speaker 7>through this, you have to find a way to separate

0:27:18.800 --> 0:27:22.720
<v Speaker 7>it because otherwise you will lead like with your confidence.

0:27:23.119 --> 0:27:26.040
<v Speaker 7>You can't blame yourself for every single thing that happens,

0:27:26.040 --> 0:27:27.960
<v Speaker 7>because it's also not going to help you move forward.

0:27:27.960 --> 0:27:31.280
<v Speaker 7>Because if I say, Okay, I did a bad job

0:27:31.320 --> 0:27:35.040
<v Speaker 7>because I'm stupid, I can't really Yes, you can go

0:27:35.080 --> 0:27:37.800
<v Speaker 7>and setnymore and do whatever, but it's not really going

0:27:37.840 --> 0:27:40.000
<v Speaker 7>to change that thing that you keep going back to you.

0:27:40.040 --> 0:27:42.680
<v Speaker 7>So you have to do the work as much as

0:27:42.680 --> 0:27:45.400
<v Speaker 7>you can to help yourself kind of come to get

0:27:45.440 --> 0:27:48.119
<v Speaker 7>to the point of conclusions in these situations where you

0:27:48.160 --> 0:27:48.959
<v Speaker 7>can separate it.

0:27:50.280 --> 0:27:52.080
<v Speaker 6>But it's hard. It's so hard.

0:27:52.480 --> 0:27:55.280
<v Speaker 1>What would you kind of say to yourself to separate

0:27:55.320 --> 0:27:58.560
<v Speaker 1>that and to make sure your self worth isn't attached

0:27:58.600 --> 0:28:02.200
<v Speaker 1>to that Because I resonating with this all this so much,

0:28:02.520 --> 0:28:06.119
<v Speaker 1>and I would love like an actual example teach me totally.

0:28:06.200 --> 0:28:08.320
<v Speaker 7>So in that example, I could have left that meeting.

0:28:08.320 --> 0:28:09.720
<v Speaker 7>I think too, it's kind of doing the work to

0:28:09.760 --> 0:28:12.119
<v Speaker 7>not get in your own head. And I think always

0:28:12.160 --> 0:28:14.359
<v Speaker 7>repeating to myself too, I try and that we can

0:28:14.400 --> 0:28:16.159
<v Speaker 7>all create our own narratives out of things, and I

0:28:16.200 --> 0:28:19.080
<v Speaker 7>think it's important to so not let my mind, you know,

0:28:19.200 --> 0:28:21.720
<v Speaker 7>keep going down that road for a really long time

0:28:21.760 --> 0:28:24.879
<v Speaker 7>without actually chatting about how it actually went or getting

0:28:24.880 --> 0:28:25.719
<v Speaker 7>the actual facts.

0:28:25.960 --> 0:28:28.480
<v Speaker 6>But I think in terms of that example, what I

0:28:28.520 --> 0:28:29.160
<v Speaker 6>should have.

0:28:29.080 --> 0:28:30.840
<v Speaker 7>Done and how I would have liked to approach it

0:28:30.840 --> 0:28:32.280
<v Speaker 7>if if I, you know, I went back and did it,

0:28:32.320 --> 0:28:33.880
<v Speaker 7>and what I try and do moving forward.

0:28:33.880 --> 0:28:36.120
<v Speaker 6>But again it's like you know, your EBB and flow.

0:28:36.520 --> 0:28:39.600
<v Speaker 7>Would have been after that meeting to if it didn't

0:28:39.640 --> 0:28:41.240
<v Speaker 7>go well, and just say I got feedback that it

0:28:41.240 --> 0:28:43.840
<v Speaker 7>actually didn't go well. What I would have done then

0:28:44.080 --> 0:28:46.120
<v Speaker 7>is then I said, okay, so what were the things

0:28:46.160 --> 0:28:49.200
<v Speaker 7>that I can change going forward to make this go better?

0:28:49.240 --> 0:28:50.520
<v Speaker 7>So it might have been that I needed to do

0:28:50.600 --> 0:28:52.920
<v Speaker 7>more research. I needed to build out a certain level

0:28:52.960 --> 0:28:57.200
<v Speaker 7>of the presentation better. I needed to articulate or frame

0:28:57.480 --> 0:28:59.600
<v Speaker 7>what I was talking about in a different way because

0:28:59.640 --> 0:29:02.280
<v Speaker 7>the audio that I was speaking to, maybe I had

0:29:02.360 --> 0:29:04.880
<v Speaker 7>assumed that they had knowledge that they didn't have. I

0:29:04.880 --> 0:29:07.360
<v Speaker 7>needed to build things into because I was telling the

0:29:07.360 --> 0:29:09.200
<v Speaker 7>story about Kick. I needed to build things into the

0:29:09.240 --> 0:29:12.320
<v Speaker 7>story that they would relate to the in their journey,

0:29:12.320 --> 0:29:14.880
<v Speaker 7>because my journey has been different to their journey, and

0:29:15.000 --> 0:29:18.520
<v Speaker 7>things like that, like actual constructive things that you can

0:29:18.560 --> 0:29:21.600
<v Speaker 7>go and work on then and that's separable. For me,

0:29:21.880 --> 0:29:24.120
<v Speaker 7>that really really helps because that then separates it. Then

0:29:24.160 --> 0:29:26.320
<v Speaker 7>I'm not in this mode of like, oh, it's all

0:29:26.320 --> 0:29:28.320
<v Speaker 7>because of me. I can't get out of this, you know,

0:29:28.720 --> 0:29:30.920
<v Speaker 7>it's I'm just you're just kind of in this self

0:29:30.960 --> 0:29:32.120
<v Speaker 7>pity place.

0:29:32.240 --> 0:29:34.040
<v Speaker 6>Really, you can get out of.

0:29:33.920 --> 0:29:36.640
<v Speaker 7>That and start moving forward, and you know, because we're

0:29:36.640 --> 0:29:38.760
<v Speaker 7>always growing and evolving and that's amazing. But you can

0:29:38.800 --> 0:29:40.560
<v Speaker 7>actually have tangible things that you want to go and

0:29:41.400 --> 0:29:44.000
<v Speaker 7>work on that aren't going to impact your If anything,

0:29:44.040 --> 0:29:45.680
<v Speaker 7>they'll make you feel more confident because then you'll be

0:29:45.680 --> 0:29:46.720
<v Speaker 7>more equipped next time.

0:29:46.840 --> 0:29:49.160
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, and it's important to like separate what's tangible and

0:29:49.200 --> 0:29:51.520
<v Speaker 4>what's not, because I mean, like, if you actually do

0:29:51.680 --> 0:29:53.960
<v Speaker 4>really focus on it and you can't come up with

0:29:54.040 --> 0:29:56.800
<v Speaker 4>anything that was necessarily like for example, if you'd had

0:29:57.120 --> 0:30:00.760
<v Speaker 4>if something had happened tragically in your family and it

0:30:00.800 --> 0:30:03.160
<v Speaker 4>caused you to have a horrible sleep the night before,

0:30:03.640 --> 0:30:09.080
<v Speaker 4>that was completely unplanned, unavoidable and unfortunate might have rocked

0:30:09.120 --> 0:30:11.160
<v Speaker 4>you in the meeting. That's not something that you can

0:30:11.240 --> 0:30:13.720
<v Speaker 4>like work on next time. That's something that you just

0:30:13.760 --> 0:30:16.520
<v Speaker 4>have to kind of be okay with that you might

0:30:16.560 --> 0:30:18.640
<v Speaker 4>not necessarily perform at a perfect level. So that's where

0:30:18.640 --> 0:30:21.360
<v Speaker 4>it's really important to kind of go back and work

0:30:21.440 --> 0:30:23.840
<v Speaker 4>through those things, because if you're just feeling crap about

0:30:23.880 --> 0:30:25.760
<v Speaker 4>it because it didn't go well, and then you reflect

0:30:25.760 --> 0:30:28.640
<v Speaker 4>on it and you're like, actually, everything that technically went

0:30:28.680 --> 0:30:30.440
<v Speaker 4>wrong in my head is something that was out of

0:30:30.440 --> 0:30:32.920
<v Speaker 4>my control anyway, it kind of gets you to a

0:30:32.920 --> 0:30:35.480
<v Speaker 4>point where you accept that it is what it is,

0:30:35.680 --> 0:30:38.480
<v Speaker 4>and you know you'll do what you can to try

0:30:38.520 --> 0:30:40.200
<v Speaker 4>and prevent those things. But at the end of the day,

0:30:40.800 --> 0:30:43.280
<v Speaker 4>that's life. Sometimes there's things that you can't control.

0:30:43.400 --> 0:30:45.280
<v Speaker 7>It might be two the person on the other side

0:30:45.480 --> 0:30:47.600
<v Speaker 7>was never had made a judgment about you before you

0:30:47.720 --> 0:30:49.760
<v Speaker 7>entered the room that you no matter how you told

0:30:49.760 --> 0:30:52.160
<v Speaker 7>your story, how you did the work, could not have

0:30:52.280 --> 0:30:54.840
<v Speaker 7>changed their perspective on you. And so that's important too

0:30:55.120 --> 0:30:56.920
<v Speaker 7>because I think, and there's something we go into the

0:30:56.920 --> 0:30:59.720
<v Speaker 7>book a lot about is letting the fear of other

0:30:59.720 --> 0:31:02.760
<v Speaker 7>people judgment what they think we should do with our lives,

0:31:03.000 --> 0:31:04.840
<v Speaker 7>you know, if they think we're good at certain things

0:31:05.000 --> 0:31:07.360
<v Speaker 7>or not define what we should do with.

0:31:07.360 --> 0:31:08.840
<v Speaker 6>Our lives and letting that take over.

0:31:08.880 --> 0:31:10.320
<v Speaker 7>And so I think that's really important too, because it

0:31:10.360 --> 0:31:12.080
<v Speaker 7>is possible that I could go and do all the work,

0:31:12.080 --> 0:31:14.640
<v Speaker 7>all those things, those examples I just spoke through, and

0:31:14.840 --> 0:31:16.880
<v Speaker 7>that will help me because then I present the next time,

0:31:16.960 --> 0:31:19.040
<v Speaker 7>I'm going to be better. But it is also possible

0:31:19.080 --> 0:31:21.280
<v Speaker 7>that the people you're presenting to, or that the person

0:31:21.320 --> 0:31:23.720
<v Speaker 7>you're speaking to in whatever instance it is in your life,

0:31:24.560 --> 0:31:27.120
<v Speaker 7>they have made a judgment or they're not interested anyway,

0:31:27.120 --> 0:31:28.720
<v Speaker 7>and you're never going to be able to change their mind.

0:31:28.800 --> 0:31:30.680
<v Speaker 7>So it's just important to kind of disconnect that. But

0:31:30.720 --> 0:31:32.120
<v Speaker 7>it is It's so hard, isn't it.

0:31:33.280 --> 0:31:36.040
<v Speaker 1>I love those steps though, and it is about like

0:31:36.240 --> 0:31:40.800
<v Speaker 1>using discernment of you know, like you were saying STEPH

0:31:40.880 --> 0:31:44.040
<v Speaker 1>of like I literally couldn't control that and that's okay,

0:31:44.080 --> 0:31:47.080
<v Speaker 1>and accepting it, and also you know, it then feeds

0:31:47.080 --> 0:31:50.280
<v Speaker 1>into the conversation of accepting yourself where you're at and

0:31:50.560 --> 0:31:53.200
<v Speaker 1>like knowing that you don't have to be perfect all

0:31:53.240 --> 0:31:57.640
<v Speaker 1>the time and it's okay. I actually would really love

0:31:57.840 --> 0:32:01.040
<v Speaker 1>also a Steph for you to chat about mum guilt

0:32:01.360 --> 0:32:05.160
<v Speaker 1>and how you have navigated that. Like I said, I

0:32:05.200 --> 0:32:08.160
<v Speaker 1>have a fifteen month old daughter and it's been something

0:32:08.200 --> 0:32:12.080
<v Speaker 1>that I have personally really really struggled with, and so

0:32:12.200 --> 0:32:14.120
<v Speaker 1>I love that you bring it up in your social media,

0:32:14.200 --> 0:32:16.800
<v Speaker 1>but I'd love for you kind of touch on a

0:32:16.840 --> 0:32:20.440
<v Speaker 1>bit more about, you know, dealing with that in real time.

0:32:21.040 --> 0:32:21.880
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, for sure.

0:32:22.080 --> 0:32:24.200
<v Speaker 4>I mean, I think one thing that I learned pretty

0:32:24.280 --> 0:32:27.719
<v Speaker 4>quickly on, particularly when I started opening up about the

0:32:27.720 --> 0:32:30.239
<v Speaker 4>feelings of mum guilt early on, was that there were

0:32:30.320 --> 0:32:32.920
<v Speaker 4>mums with like fifteen year olds that messaged me and

0:32:32.960 --> 0:32:36.200
<v Speaker 4>were like, sorry to tell you this, but it's not

0:32:36.320 --> 0:32:38.440
<v Speaker 4>something that just happens, you know, in the first two

0:32:38.480 --> 0:32:40.560
<v Speaker 4>years of their life, like it can happen for the

0:32:40.560 --> 0:32:44.040
<v Speaker 4>rest of their lives. When you care about another being

0:32:44.320 --> 0:32:47.480
<v Speaker 4>so so much and you're also responsible for that being

0:32:47.520 --> 0:32:50.120
<v Speaker 4>as well, it can weigh heavy on you when you

0:32:50.120 --> 0:32:54.520
<v Speaker 4>don't necessarily feel like you're either spending enough quality time

0:32:54.560 --> 0:32:57.720
<v Speaker 4>with them or doing the right things, you know, quote unquote.

0:32:57.880 --> 0:33:01.000
<v Speaker 4>I think for me early on, and there was a

0:33:01.040 --> 0:33:03.480
<v Speaker 4>lot of mum guilt around, I felt like I didn't

0:33:03.520 --> 0:33:06.160
<v Speaker 4>know what I was doing. Like, I felt like I

0:33:06.200 --> 0:33:09.200
<v Speaker 4>read a lot of books about pregnancy, but there wasn't

0:33:09.320 --> 0:33:12.120
<v Speaker 4>so much about motherhood, or then if there was, it

0:33:12.160 --> 0:33:15.720
<v Speaker 4>was very kind of one sided and like one approach

0:33:15.720 --> 0:33:17.240
<v Speaker 4>of a way to do things, and so I never

0:33:17.280 --> 0:33:20.000
<v Speaker 4>really connected with much that I read. I learned pretty

0:33:20.040 --> 0:33:22.640
<v Speaker 4>quickly that you connect with other mums you realize that

0:33:22.640 --> 0:33:24.720
<v Speaker 4>there are so many different ways to do things. You know,

0:33:24.760 --> 0:33:27.960
<v Speaker 4>whether you co sleep or not, whether you know, feed

0:33:28.000 --> 0:33:30.040
<v Speaker 4>with formula or not, Like, there's so many different ways

0:33:30.040 --> 0:33:32.440
<v Speaker 4>to do things. And so the further it went on,

0:33:32.520 --> 0:33:35.160
<v Speaker 4>I realized, Okay, there's not really right or wrong, it's

0:33:35.200 --> 0:33:36.920
<v Speaker 4>just what works for my family. And so the guilt

0:33:36.960 --> 0:33:40.200
<v Speaker 4>started to fall away for particular mum things. And I

0:33:40.200 --> 0:33:43.560
<v Speaker 4>can say now that majority of the time I feel

0:33:43.640 --> 0:33:45.600
<v Speaker 4>really good and I feel like I'm a really really

0:33:45.600 --> 0:33:47.520
<v Speaker 4>good mum, and I know I do it in my

0:33:47.600 --> 0:33:48.280
<v Speaker 4>own way.

0:33:48.320 --> 0:33:51.160
<v Speaker 6>So patient, But I'm like, I am not going to

0:33:51.200 --> 0:33:52.600
<v Speaker 6>be able to be this patient.

0:33:53.400 --> 0:33:56.240
<v Speaker 4>But it's come with practice, right, And I think, so

0:33:56.360 --> 0:33:59.520
<v Speaker 4>that's something that I hold, I suppose I value in myself,

0:33:59.560 --> 0:34:01.800
<v Speaker 4>but it can be really hard when the mum gilt

0:34:01.840 --> 0:34:05.040
<v Speaker 4>rears its head more often now is always around work,

0:34:05.120 --> 0:34:06.760
<v Speaker 4>like there's no doubt about it. And I think it's

0:34:06.800 --> 0:34:10.279
<v Speaker 4>just because motherhood for me has been more than a

0:34:10.360 --> 0:34:12.680
<v Speaker 4>dream come true, Like it's been better than I imagined it.

0:34:12.960 --> 0:34:15.440
<v Speaker 4>And so I find it really hard to split my

0:34:15.480 --> 0:34:18.279
<v Speaker 4>time between two things that fulfill me so much. And

0:34:18.320 --> 0:34:20.600
<v Speaker 4>I'm lucky to say that, right, I'm so fortunate to

0:34:20.640 --> 0:34:23.680
<v Speaker 4>say that my job and my career is something that

0:34:23.920 --> 0:34:27.040
<v Speaker 4>I enjoy so much and that fulfills me and you know,

0:34:27.160 --> 0:34:31.160
<v Speaker 4>is so rewarding what we do helping people. So I think, though,

0:34:31.520 --> 0:34:33.560
<v Speaker 4>because it's not something that I can kind of like

0:34:33.600 --> 0:34:35.560
<v Speaker 4>switch my mind off because I love it so much,

0:34:35.640 --> 0:34:39.440
<v Speaker 4>I really do struggle to find the line. You know,

0:34:39.440 --> 0:34:41.360
<v Speaker 4>it's hard to be at home and be completely one

0:34:41.440 --> 0:34:44.359
<v Speaker 4>hundred percent, you know, having quality time with him, because

0:34:44.400 --> 0:34:46.239
<v Speaker 4>I might be thinking about work in some way or

0:34:46.239 --> 0:34:48.200
<v Speaker 4>something might come up. And then it's also hard to

0:34:48.239 --> 0:34:50.719
<v Speaker 4>be at work and then not kind of yearn for

0:34:51.040 --> 0:34:53.439
<v Speaker 4>what's going on at home or like kind of wish

0:34:53.440 --> 0:34:55.560
<v Speaker 4>I could get home earlier, all of those thoughts, right,

0:34:55.600 --> 0:34:57.720
<v Speaker 4>And So I think what I just try and remind

0:34:57.760 --> 0:35:01.200
<v Speaker 4>myself of is that there is no perfect work life balance,

0:35:01.239 --> 0:35:03.440
<v Speaker 4>like that doesn't exist, and every week is going to

0:35:03.440 --> 0:35:05.799
<v Speaker 4>be different, every day is going to be different, and

0:35:05.840 --> 0:35:07.520
<v Speaker 4>so just doing what I can with what I have.

0:35:08.080 --> 0:35:10.600
<v Speaker 4>So some weeks at work, we might have a lot

0:35:10.600 --> 0:35:13.560
<v Speaker 4>of really exciting things going on, and I think what's

0:35:13.560 --> 0:35:17.520
<v Speaker 4>been the hardest thing is like when I'm struggling with

0:35:17.600 --> 0:35:19.560
<v Speaker 4>mum guilt and I might not be making bedtime, i

0:35:19.640 --> 0:35:21.640
<v Speaker 4>might be having limited time in the mornings with him,

0:35:21.680 --> 0:35:23.560
<v Speaker 4>and then we might even have an event or something

0:35:23.640 --> 0:35:25.480
<v Speaker 4>on on the weekend, and that means I'm spending even

0:35:25.560 --> 0:35:28.279
<v Speaker 4>less time with him even when we're not working. It's

0:35:28.360 --> 0:35:30.719
<v Speaker 4>like I then start I don't resent work, but I

0:35:30.760 --> 0:35:32.560
<v Speaker 4>start to think negatively about it, and then I have

0:35:32.600 --> 0:35:35.160
<v Speaker 4>to flip that thought and think, the reason why we're

0:35:35.160 --> 0:35:37.840
<v Speaker 4>working so late is because we've got this epic feature

0:35:37.880 --> 0:35:39.920
<v Speaker 4>going live, or we've got this campaign that we're working

0:35:39.920 --> 0:35:42.040
<v Speaker 4>on that's so exciting, like a new trader's going into

0:35:42.040 --> 0:35:43.680
<v Speaker 4>the app, and then you kind of snap out of

0:35:43.719 --> 0:35:45.520
<v Speaker 4>it because you get so excited about what you're doing.

0:35:45.600 --> 0:35:50.040
<v Speaker 4>Right again, super fortunate too, that that's what it is

0:35:50.080 --> 0:35:52.279
<v Speaker 4>for me. For a lot of people who are away

0:35:52.280 --> 0:35:54.680
<v Speaker 4>from their kids, they might hate their job, but they

0:35:54.719 --> 0:35:57.640
<v Speaker 4>have to do it to make the living. So I'm

0:35:57.719 --> 0:36:00.920
<v Speaker 4>definitely trying and reframe it to focus on what I'm

0:36:00.920 --> 0:36:03.959
<v Speaker 4>grateful for and work through that, and at any time

0:36:04.000 --> 0:36:07.800
<v Speaker 4>that I feel like either or is like completely off balance,

0:36:07.960 --> 0:36:10.480
<v Speaker 4>it's just about being open with both Laura as my

0:36:10.480 --> 0:36:13.480
<v Speaker 4>business partner and best friend, but also Josh and trying

0:36:13.480 --> 0:36:16.279
<v Speaker 4>to find that balance at least a couple of days

0:36:16.320 --> 0:36:18.719
<v Speaker 4>a week where I can possibly spend a little bit

0:36:18.760 --> 0:36:22.040
<v Speaker 4>more quality time with him, or maybe it's even spending

0:36:22.040 --> 0:36:24.279
<v Speaker 4>a little bit more quality time with myself and like

0:36:24.320 --> 0:36:26.960
<v Speaker 4>focusing on my health because that's the other thing right

0:36:27.040 --> 0:36:30.200
<v Speaker 4>that tugs me away in another direction. But I think

0:36:30.239 --> 0:36:32.319
<v Speaker 4>the biggest thing was just knowing that it's probably going

0:36:32.400 --> 0:36:34.880
<v Speaker 4>to be around forever, Like it's not I'm never going

0:36:34.960 --> 0:36:36.719
<v Speaker 4>to wake up one day and just be like cool,

0:36:36.760 --> 0:36:39.480
<v Speaker 4>I'll never struggle with mum guilt every again, and just

0:36:39.600 --> 0:36:43.160
<v Speaker 4>doing the little things that help me feel better about

0:36:43.400 --> 0:36:44.799
<v Speaker 4>whatever it is I'm struggling with.

0:36:45.080 --> 0:36:48.160
<v Speaker 1>You all, most need to accept that it's like this

0:36:48.280 --> 0:36:50.960
<v Speaker 1>is going to constantly pop up and this is going

0:36:51.000 --> 0:36:53.160
<v Speaker 1>to be something I'm constantly going to have to work

0:36:53.200 --> 0:36:55.840
<v Speaker 1>on and being okay with that. I think once your like,

0:36:56.520 --> 0:36:58.960
<v Speaker 1>you know, it is great to know that this is

0:36:59.080 --> 0:37:01.080
<v Speaker 1>you know, that person in message you who's like, I've

0:37:01.080 --> 0:37:03.959
<v Speaker 1>got a sixteen year old and you still feel mom guilt,

0:37:04.280 --> 0:37:07.200
<v Speaker 1>so you can maybe you know, it's kind of like, oh, okay,

0:37:07.640 --> 0:37:09.600
<v Speaker 1>this is normal, and then I love what you said.

0:37:09.600 --> 0:37:13.080
<v Speaker 1>It's like reframing. And something even I try to do

0:37:13.520 --> 0:37:16.560
<v Speaker 1>is I can always pick a new story. So you know,

0:37:16.719 --> 0:37:19.160
<v Speaker 1>if the story is, oh, well i've got an avent,

0:37:19.320 --> 0:37:21.799
<v Speaker 1>I can't get home to Ivy, I'm a bad mum

0:37:21.880 --> 0:37:25.040
<v Speaker 1>this and that, I can pick the new story of well,

0:37:25.160 --> 0:37:28.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm doing this and it impacts and I'm also super

0:37:28.440 --> 0:37:31.120
<v Speaker 1>super privileged and blessed like you, where the work I

0:37:31.200 --> 0:37:34.399
<v Speaker 1>do is something that absolutely lights me up and it's

0:37:34.440 --> 0:37:37.880
<v Speaker 1>for you know, the greater community and that sort of thing.

0:37:37.920 --> 0:37:40.680
<v Speaker 1>And so I have to choose the new story, which

0:37:40.719 --> 0:37:43.640
<v Speaker 1>is like, well, actually this is helping you know, these people,

0:37:44.000 --> 0:37:46.560
<v Speaker 1>and I love this and it lights me up and

0:37:46.600 --> 0:37:48.520
<v Speaker 1>I know I can spend extra time with Ivy on

0:37:48.560 --> 0:37:51.040
<v Speaker 1>the weekend. And then I pick that new story and

0:37:51.120 --> 0:37:53.440
<v Speaker 1>you have to just be like okay with it, and

0:37:53.480 --> 0:37:56.400
<v Speaker 1>you have to just go yep, and I'm okay, because

0:37:56.520 --> 0:38:00.000
<v Speaker 1>otherwise I even feel like I'm gonna waste so much

0:38:00.080 --> 0:38:02.080
<v Speaker 1>of my life just being.

0:38:01.800 --> 0:38:04.680
<v Speaker 2>In shame or feeling guilt, and it's.

0:38:04.719 --> 0:38:07.120
<v Speaker 1>You know, like it's like I do get to have

0:38:07.200 --> 0:38:10.360
<v Speaker 1>control and pick these you know, different feelings.

0:38:10.480 --> 0:38:11.879
<v Speaker 6>Oh, you're so right, You're so right.

0:38:11.920 --> 0:38:13.640
<v Speaker 4>I mean it was literally just the other week that

0:38:13.680 --> 0:38:16.240
<v Speaker 4>I was struggling with it, and I ended up writing

0:38:16.239 --> 0:38:18.160
<v Speaker 4>out some thoughts and I sent it to Josh and

0:38:18.200 --> 0:38:21.319
<v Speaker 4>I was like, you know what, I feel really good

0:38:21.320 --> 0:38:24.440
<v Speaker 4>about going into work right now because of what we

0:38:25.200 --> 0:38:27.760
<v Speaker 4>get to do and the difference we're making in the world,

0:38:28.000 --> 0:38:30.759
<v Speaker 4>especially in the health and fitness space. And yes, we

0:38:30.880 --> 0:38:33.200
<v Speaker 4>may be more targeted at women and non binary and

0:38:34.400 --> 0:38:36.960
<v Speaker 4>I might have a little boy right now, but it's

0:38:36.960 --> 0:38:39.600
<v Speaker 4>still going to impact him in some way. If we

0:38:39.680 --> 0:38:42.279
<v Speaker 4>can change the way and change the world for either

0:38:42.360 --> 0:38:45.279
<v Speaker 4>himself or maybe women, he will know in his life.

0:38:45.280 --> 0:38:47.319
<v Speaker 4>And I think going back to the bigger picture of

0:38:47.480 --> 0:38:50.400
<v Speaker 4>you know, our core and what we do, it's like

0:38:50.960 --> 0:38:53.320
<v Speaker 4>it's only going to make his life better. So it

0:38:53.400 --> 0:38:56.359
<v Speaker 4>might not necessarily mean that I spend more time with him,

0:38:56.600 --> 0:38:59.919
<v Speaker 4>but it's in turn it's still helping him in some way,

0:39:00.040 --> 0:39:01.319
<v Speaker 4>which comforts me a lot.

0:39:02.640 --> 0:39:04.800
<v Speaker 1>And I Also, I really love that you and Josh

0:39:04.880 --> 0:39:07.120
<v Speaker 1>like speak about that and you know you were able

0:39:07.239 --> 0:39:09.680
<v Speaker 1>to give him your thoughts, because I think it's really

0:39:09.680 --> 0:39:12.480
<v Speaker 1>incredible because often a lot of the time I'll do

0:39:12.520 --> 0:39:15.520
<v Speaker 1>the same where my thoughts. I will tell him how

0:39:15.560 --> 0:39:19.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm feeling, and then he's like, oh, babe, Blake, it's

0:39:19.360 --> 0:39:21.640
<v Speaker 1>all good, and they kind of make you feel better.

0:39:21.680 --> 0:39:24.160
<v Speaker 1>And also getting the thoughts down on paper, they're not

0:39:24.239 --> 0:39:26.239
<v Speaker 1>as big and they don't have as much impact and

0:39:26.239 --> 0:39:27.839
<v Speaker 1>you're like, oh, I feel better.

0:39:27.960 --> 0:39:29.520
<v Speaker 6>So yeah, it's so true.

0:39:29.600 --> 0:39:32.200
<v Speaker 4>I mean, I wish I could live like a few

0:39:32.280 --> 0:39:34.600
<v Speaker 4>days in Josh's brain. I just feel like he has

0:39:34.760 --> 0:39:37.680
<v Speaker 4>different he's wired differently, he thinks differently, he doesn't go

0:39:38.120 --> 0:39:41.200
<v Speaker 4>to let he doesn't tastriphize everything and think of the worst.

0:39:42.320 --> 0:39:46.080
<v Speaker 4>I just yeah, so sometimes when he just says, whoa,

0:39:46.239 --> 0:39:49.200
<v Speaker 4>what's what's going on? It's okay, Everything's actually okay.

0:39:49.200 --> 0:39:49.799
<v Speaker 6>You're so right.

0:39:49.880 --> 0:39:52.960
<v Speaker 4>It can really kind of just simplify things and let

0:39:53.000 --> 0:39:53.839
<v Speaker 4>you breathe a little bit.

0:39:54.000 --> 0:39:56.320
<v Speaker 2>Thank you so much for all that input.

0:39:56.360 --> 0:39:59.600
<v Speaker 1>And again, I just cannot stress how much the mind

0:39:59.640 --> 0:40:02.839
<v Speaker 1>section of the book like blew my mind and made

0:40:02.880 --> 0:40:03.840
<v Speaker 1>me feel.

0:40:03.480 --> 0:40:05.960
<v Speaker 2>So seen and I resonated with so much.

0:40:06.000 --> 0:40:09.720
<v Speaker 1>But I want to move on to body because I

0:40:09.760 --> 0:40:11.800
<v Speaker 1>actually remember Steph.

0:40:11.920 --> 0:40:13.520
<v Speaker 2>I've been a longtime follower.

0:40:14.920 --> 0:40:15.719
<v Speaker 5>And years and.

0:40:15.719 --> 0:40:20.880
<v Speaker 1>Years ago, you did this beautiful post where you explained, like,

0:40:21.000 --> 0:40:24.560
<v Speaker 1>you know, through your modeling Korea, you had to be

0:40:24.640 --> 0:40:27.239
<v Speaker 1>a certain size and you restricted yourself and you went

0:40:27.280 --> 0:40:30.600
<v Speaker 1>through a whole journey and there was kind of a

0:40:30.719 --> 0:40:36.960
<v Speaker 1>clear transformation where you started embracing yourself and you started,

0:40:37.080 --> 0:40:40.400
<v Speaker 1>you know, eating for health and exercising for health, and

0:40:40.480 --> 0:40:43.239
<v Speaker 1>you know, your body did change. And I remember you

0:40:43.320 --> 0:40:47.000
<v Speaker 1>doing this post where you outlined that and you're like, yeah,

0:40:47.040 --> 0:40:50.480
<v Speaker 1>my body's changed and I feel fucking great, and you know,

0:40:50.680 --> 0:40:53.280
<v Speaker 1>like you did this post and it was a time,

0:40:53.960 --> 0:40:55.680
<v Speaker 1>you know, even a couple of years ago, it was

0:40:55.719 --> 0:40:58.240
<v Speaker 1>like more of a fitz bo time. And I remember

0:40:58.320 --> 0:41:01.560
<v Speaker 1>even reading that post and being like, yeah, she does

0:41:01.640 --> 0:41:04.720
<v Speaker 1>look different and it looks fucking great, and like really

0:41:05.280 --> 0:41:09.359
<v Speaker 1>loving that you put that on the internet and we're

0:41:09.360 --> 0:41:12.160
<v Speaker 1>really at the forefront. And I loved in the body section,

0:41:12.320 --> 0:41:15.960
<v Speaker 1>you know you mentioned it's like it's the quote I

0:41:16.000 --> 0:41:18.080
<v Speaker 1>picked from there is like it's not learning how to

0:41:18.120 --> 0:41:21.359
<v Speaker 1>love your body, it's unlearning how to hate it, and

0:41:21.680 --> 0:41:23.799
<v Speaker 1>I'd love for you to just, like, you know, chat

0:41:23.840 --> 0:41:26.120
<v Speaker 1>on that because I feel like, you know, you've gone

0:41:26.160 --> 0:41:28.719
<v Speaker 1>through such a journey with that, and obviously thank you.

0:41:28.920 --> 0:41:31.480
<v Speaker 4>I think that quote why I love that quote so much,

0:41:31.520 --> 0:41:35.279
<v Speaker 4>and I think what comes to mind when I.

0:41:34.760 --> 0:41:35.440
<v Speaker 6>Hear it again.

0:41:36.560 --> 0:41:39.600
<v Speaker 4>Laura and I've done a lot of school talks, and

0:41:39.719 --> 0:41:42.800
<v Speaker 4>I remember one we went to where we were speaking

0:41:42.800 --> 0:41:46.080
<v Speaker 4>to a much younger audience. It's a year sixes and

0:41:46.120 --> 0:41:48.799
<v Speaker 4>it was crazy because we would take them through a

0:41:48.800 --> 0:41:51.440
<v Speaker 4>similar activity to what we were taking you know, fifteen

0:41:51.440 --> 0:41:55.120
<v Speaker 4>to eighteen year old girls through, and the activity was

0:41:55.160 --> 0:41:57.960
<v Speaker 4>to basically compliment themselves, like it didn't have to be

0:41:58.000 --> 0:42:00.279
<v Speaker 4>about their physical appearance, could be a trait that they love,

0:42:00.400 --> 0:42:02.319
<v Speaker 4>something that they're good at, but to.

0:42:02.280 --> 0:42:03.319
<v Speaker 6>Write these things down.

0:42:03.960 --> 0:42:07.839
<v Speaker 4>And when we were speaking to teenagers, they often either

0:42:07.880 --> 0:42:10.480
<v Speaker 4>sat there shyly didn't want to write anything down, or

0:42:11.000 --> 0:42:12.759
<v Speaker 4>you know, they might write one thing down, but then

0:42:12.800 --> 0:42:14.880
<v Speaker 4>they're just more interested in like complimenting their friend and

0:42:14.920 --> 0:42:17.640
<v Speaker 4>helping their friend out, which is also very very lovely.

0:42:18.160 --> 0:42:22.400
<v Speaker 4>But these younger kids, they were like straight penn to paper.

0:42:22.719 --> 0:42:26.600
<v Speaker 4>They had honestly wrote like at least ten compliments for

0:42:26.680 --> 0:42:28.640
<v Speaker 4>themselves and it was so special to see because I

0:42:28.680 --> 0:42:31.920
<v Speaker 4>think for us, which you know, that was probably four

0:42:32.040 --> 0:42:34.879
<v Speaker 4>years ago now, and you know, a lot of things

0:42:34.920 --> 0:42:38.200
<v Speaker 4>have changed, and the rates of you know, people going

0:42:38.239 --> 0:42:41.839
<v Speaker 4>through things like body dysmorphia and eating disorders, that's unfortunately,

0:42:41.840 --> 0:42:44.040
<v Speaker 4>it's getting younger and younger and younger. So I'm definitely

0:42:44.040 --> 0:42:46.680
<v Speaker 4>not saying that, you know, year sixers don't look at

0:42:46.680 --> 0:42:51.120
<v Speaker 4>themselves in a negative way. However, it was really beautiful

0:42:51.120 --> 0:42:53.359
<v Speaker 4>to see how confident they were in themselves. And I

0:42:53.520 --> 0:42:56.919
<v Speaker 4>do too, remember that a lot of my insecurities and

0:42:57.320 --> 0:42:59.680
<v Speaker 4>doubts on myself and who I was that all started

0:42:59.719 --> 0:43:01.600
<v Speaker 4>to rear its head when I was a teenager. I

0:43:01.680 --> 0:43:05.759
<v Speaker 4>don't ever remember being super insecure as like a five

0:43:05.840 --> 0:43:08.360
<v Speaker 4>year old or you know that kind of age. I

0:43:08.360 --> 0:43:10.919
<v Speaker 4>don't remember that, and so I think what it kind

0:43:10.960 --> 0:43:15.160
<v Speaker 4>of made me realize was and even seeing Harvey, like

0:43:15.239 --> 0:43:17.759
<v Speaker 4>he doesn't have any insecurities. I mean he's almost two,

0:43:18.120 --> 0:43:21.160
<v Speaker 4>he's probably too early to tell anyway, but like it's so,

0:43:21.800 --> 0:43:22.839
<v Speaker 4>you're not born that way.

0:43:22.880 --> 0:43:24.480
<v Speaker 6>You're not born hating yourself.

0:43:24.480 --> 0:43:27.680
<v Speaker 4>You're not born like these are all things that we

0:43:27.800 --> 0:43:31.320
<v Speaker 4>learn through pressures in society, through things that people say.

0:43:31.920 --> 0:43:34.440
<v Speaker 4>It's all stuff that you learn, and so it is

0:43:34.560 --> 0:43:39.480
<v Speaker 4>just a big, very very long journey of unlearning these things.

0:43:39.520 --> 0:43:42.040
<v Speaker 4>And that's something that we still do to this day.

0:43:42.160 --> 0:43:46.000
<v Speaker 4>There is still habits or thoughts in our minds. Even

0:43:46.040 --> 0:43:48.640
<v Speaker 4>though we're very comfortable with who we are, very comfortable

0:43:48.640 --> 0:43:50.319
<v Speaker 4>in our own skin, and we've worked through that and

0:43:50.320 --> 0:43:52.400
<v Speaker 4>gone through our own journey, it's not like an end destination.

0:43:52.520 --> 0:43:53.920
<v Speaker 6>There's still things that we have to work through.

0:43:53.920 --> 0:43:57.919
<v Speaker 4>There's still this subconscious that might have, you know, read

0:43:57.960 --> 0:44:01.200
<v Speaker 4>one too many girlfriend magazines and when we were younger,

0:44:01.280 --> 0:44:04.239
<v Speaker 4>that still has these random beliefs that rear their head

0:44:04.280 --> 0:44:05.880
<v Speaker 4>every now and again when we might not be feeling

0:44:05.920 --> 0:44:06.840
<v Speaker 4>great about ourselves.

0:44:07.080 --> 0:44:08.520
<v Speaker 6>And that's okay, you work through them.

0:44:08.719 --> 0:44:13.000
<v Speaker 4>But it is unlearning these habits that kind of get

0:44:13.040 --> 0:44:13.319
<v Speaker 4>you to.

0:44:13.320 --> 0:44:16.000
<v Speaker 6>A point where you can accept yourself. And it's not

0:44:16.040 --> 0:44:17.000
<v Speaker 6>about loving yourself.

0:44:17.040 --> 0:44:19.160
<v Speaker 4>It's not about like getting to a point where you

0:44:19.160 --> 0:44:23.239
<v Speaker 4>don't have any insecurities, like that's loving your body, yeah,

0:44:23.280 --> 0:44:25.720
<v Speaker 4>but that's not realistic. And so it's more just about

0:44:26.080 --> 0:44:28.440
<v Speaker 4>focusing on the things that you do love and appreciating

0:44:28.480 --> 0:44:31.040
<v Speaker 4>yourself and when it comes to the things you don't

0:44:31.600 --> 0:44:35.080
<v Speaker 4>like find ways to either ignore them or work through them.

0:44:35.280 --> 0:44:38.520
<v Speaker 4>There's certain physical parts of my body, or there might

0:44:38.560 --> 0:44:42.239
<v Speaker 4>be certain personality traits that I don't necessarily love about myself,

0:44:42.600 --> 0:44:46.880
<v Speaker 4>but I've accepted that I'm not perfect and that's absolutely okay,

0:44:46.920 --> 0:44:49.480
<v Speaker 4>because striving to be perfect you're never going to get there.

0:44:49.640 --> 0:44:51.960
<v Speaker 4>Nobody is perfect, and so you're just going to constantly

0:44:52.000 --> 0:44:53.600
<v Speaker 4>be unhappy with yourself and it's just.

0:44:53.560 --> 0:44:56.120
<v Speaker 6>Not a way to live. So, yeah, that's kind of

0:44:56.560 --> 0:44:59.480
<v Speaker 6>where that was going. And I think too, it's.

0:44:59.239 --> 0:45:02.600
<v Speaker 7>Kind of trying to connect that the way thinking that

0:45:02.680 --> 0:45:05.719
<v Speaker 7>the way that our bodies look matters. Everything around us

0:45:05.760 --> 0:45:08.759
<v Speaker 7>tells us that they do, but they do not. And

0:45:08.800 --> 0:45:11.360
<v Speaker 7>so it's even in writing the book, in speaking to

0:45:12.280 --> 0:45:14.759
<v Speaker 7>on the in Body Shame, actually it was in we

0:45:14.800 --> 0:45:18.279
<v Speaker 7>spoke to a lot of our community members and I

0:45:18.320 --> 0:45:21.080
<v Speaker 7>remember chatting to one and one said to me that

0:45:21.120 --> 0:45:23.600
<v Speaker 7>there was a comment made to them when they were

0:45:23.760 --> 0:45:26.600
<v Speaker 7>very young, and it was a family member or a

0:45:26.680 --> 0:45:29.040
<v Speaker 7>mum or something that told them they should go on

0:45:29.120 --> 0:45:33.000
<v Speaker 7>a diet or something along those lines, and that comment

0:45:33.520 --> 0:45:36.560
<v Speaker 7>stayed with them and they are now in their twenties,

0:45:37.080 --> 0:45:38.719
<v Speaker 7>and so a comment that was made, like you know,

0:45:39.440 --> 0:45:43.600
<v Speaker 7>almost like twenty years ago, is still with that person.

0:45:44.080 --> 0:45:48.160
<v Speaker 7>And that then meant their relationship with their body, their worth,

0:45:48.200 --> 0:45:51.680
<v Speaker 7>their self worth was tied to their body, and they

0:45:51.719 --> 0:45:55.160
<v Speaker 7>constantly were in that body shame mindset of I hate

0:45:55.160 --> 0:45:58.280
<v Speaker 7>my body. It's not good enough, it's not accepted by society.

0:45:58.320 --> 0:46:00.960
<v Speaker 7>Therefore I am not good enough. And we have to

0:46:01.080 --> 0:46:04.440
<v Speaker 7>disconnect the way our body looks from our worth. Our

0:46:04.480 --> 0:46:07.480
<v Speaker 7>body has nothing to do nothing to do with if

0:46:07.520 --> 0:46:08.160
<v Speaker 7>we're worthy or not.

0:46:08.200 --> 0:46:09.440
<v Speaker 6>We don't need to love it. We just need to

0:46:09.480 --> 0:46:11.520
<v Speaker 6>accept it, as Steph was saying, And we.

0:46:11.480 --> 0:46:14.680
<v Speaker 7>Can love ourselves, but it's not about like it's loving

0:46:14.680 --> 0:46:17.960
<v Speaker 7>ourselves and as who we are, not about loving our bodies,

0:46:18.000 --> 0:46:22.360
<v Speaker 7>and it's accepting who accepting it for all the amazing

0:46:22.360 --> 0:46:24.600
<v Speaker 7>things our bodies can do, like obviously, and it's a

0:46:24.600 --> 0:46:26.279
<v Speaker 7>lot of the work you do as well. And we

0:46:26.320 --> 0:46:29.040
<v Speaker 7>want people to lead healthier and happier lifestyles, you know, That's.

0:46:28.880 --> 0:46:31.279
<v Speaker 6>What we do with Kick. We want people to move

0:46:31.320 --> 0:46:33.239
<v Speaker 6>their bodies and eat well and look after them so

0:46:33.280 --> 0:46:34.080
<v Speaker 6>they feel good.

0:46:34.160 --> 0:46:36.120
<v Speaker 7>That is very very important. We don't want to take

0:46:36.120 --> 0:46:39.160
<v Speaker 7>away from that. But it doesn't matter what your body

0:46:39.440 --> 0:46:43.080
<v Speaker 7>looks like, and so it's having that disconnect between our

0:46:43.120 --> 0:46:46.160
<v Speaker 7>worth and the way that our body looks and exceptional

0:46:46.239 --> 0:46:48.120
<v Speaker 7>things that it does, and thinking about like, our body

0:46:48.160 --> 0:46:48.720
<v Speaker 7>is our home.

0:46:48.960 --> 0:46:50.560
<v Speaker 6>It is it is our we can't change. We're not

0:46:50.560 --> 0:46:51.880
<v Speaker 6>going to get another home, We're not going to get

0:46:51.880 --> 0:46:52.440
<v Speaker 6>another body.

0:46:52.960 --> 0:46:55.200
<v Speaker 7>And so it's how do we look after this home

0:46:55.280 --> 0:46:57.080
<v Speaker 7>that we have and you know, talk to it like

0:46:57.160 --> 0:46:59.600
<v Speaker 7>you talk to your best friend and you know, look

0:46:59.600 --> 0:47:00.520
<v Speaker 7>at like you.

0:47:00.480 --> 0:47:02.879
<v Speaker 6>Know, I love. Think about things that your body does

0:47:02.920 --> 0:47:03.120
<v Speaker 6>to you.

0:47:03.200 --> 0:47:05.960
<v Speaker 7>So you know, your arms enable you to hug and

0:47:06.040 --> 0:47:09.800
<v Speaker 7>connect with people. You all the things like your legs

0:47:09.840 --> 0:47:11.759
<v Speaker 7>help you get from one place to another, your arms

0:47:11.760 --> 0:47:14.360
<v Speaker 7>help you also like carry heavy bags, all these things

0:47:14.640 --> 0:47:16.600
<v Speaker 7>that we do. Think of our body as a function

0:47:17.080 --> 0:47:19.560
<v Speaker 7>that helps us to do things that are meaningful in

0:47:19.600 --> 0:47:22.560
<v Speaker 7>our life, as opposed to our body being a meaningful

0:47:22.640 --> 0:47:23.360
<v Speaker 7>thing in our life.

0:47:23.440 --> 0:47:24.719
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, just going deeper than that.

0:47:24.760 --> 0:47:27.520
<v Speaker 4>I mean, you don't love Dalton just because he's good looking.

0:47:28.000 --> 0:47:30.319
<v Speaker 6>Not why, my god, that would be a horror marriage game.

0:47:30.880 --> 0:47:33.279
<v Speaker 4>You know. That's how you simplify You think about the

0:47:33.320 --> 0:47:35.520
<v Speaker 4>people in your life that you love, right, it's not

0:47:35.640 --> 0:47:38.720
<v Speaker 4>about the way they look. And also it's not about

0:47:38.760 --> 0:47:42.600
<v Speaker 4>loving every trade of theirs either. It's like there's things

0:47:42.640 --> 0:47:45.080
<v Speaker 4>that annoy the shit out of me with Josh, but

0:47:45.120 --> 0:47:47.640
<v Speaker 4>he's still the love of my life. So it's just

0:47:47.680 --> 0:47:49.400
<v Speaker 4>about like not chasing that perfection.

0:47:50.760 --> 0:47:54.279
<v Speaker 1>Could even feel myself getting a bit emotional when you

0:47:54.320 --> 0:47:58.480
<v Speaker 1>were speaking about you know that girl, Laura, because so

0:47:58.760 --> 0:48:04.080
<v Speaker 1>many of us have those experiences where someone has said

0:48:04.160 --> 0:48:06.719
<v Speaker 1>one thing and we carry it and we carry it

0:48:06.840 --> 0:48:09.160
<v Speaker 1>and it's like, that's not ours to carry, that is

0:48:09.200 --> 0:48:13.200
<v Speaker 1>a projection from that person, and it's so it's so

0:48:13.440 --> 0:48:16.759
<v Speaker 1>upsetting that, you know, it can take us on this

0:48:16.840 --> 0:48:19.600
<v Speaker 1>huge journey in like almost twenty years to realize that.

0:48:19.719 --> 0:48:21.919
<v Speaker 1>And it even reminds me, I love that you speak

0:48:21.960 --> 0:48:24.120
<v Speaker 1>about it. It's not that I have to love my body.

0:48:24.600 --> 0:48:28.640
<v Speaker 1>It's yeah, like saying how I look is not my worth.

0:48:28.680 --> 0:48:31.960
<v Speaker 1>And I even had a really interesting journey where I

0:48:32.320 --> 0:48:35.680
<v Speaker 1>got my implants out because you know, they were making

0:48:35.719 --> 0:48:38.879
<v Speaker 1>me sick. And I've had a couple of girlfriends now

0:48:38.960 --> 0:48:41.520
<v Speaker 1>do the same thing and they were like, oh, what's

0:48:41.560 --> 0:48:44.720
<v Speaker 1>your advice with you know, accepting yourself or like loving

0:48:44.760 --> 0:48:47.279
<v Speaker 1>your body after you get your implants out, And I.

0:48:47.280 --> 0:48:49.439
<v Speaker 2>Just said to them, I just don't focus on them.

0:48:49.760 --> 0:48:52.840
<v Speaker 1>Like I don't stand there and look at my boobs

0:48:52.880 --> 0:48:55.359
<v Speaker 1>in the mirror, and you know, like I literally just

0:48:55.400 --> 0:48:57.880
<v Speaker 1>don't focus on them. And then it just got to

0:48:57.880 --> 0:49:00.759
<v Speaker 1>the point where it just didn't bother me because I

0:49:00.800 --> 0:49:03.960
<v Speaker 1>wasn't focusing on it and not in like an.

0:49:03.880 --> 0:49:07.640
<v Speaker 2>Ignorant sort of way where I was ignoring.

0:49:07.120 --> 0:49:10.440
<v Speaker 1>That part of myself, but I well, I guess I was.

0:49:10.640 --> 0:49:12.720
<v Speaker 1>You know, I just was like, oh, I just didn't

0:49:12.719 --> 0:49:15.560
<v Speaker 1>focus on that part of me. And eventually it's like

0:49:15.680 --> 0:49:17.759
<v Speaker 1>even the thoughts where that part of me needed to

0:49:17.800 --> 0:49:21.840
<v Speaker 1>be a certain way just disappeared, and I just was like, yeah, cool,

0:49:22.080 --> 0:49:22.920
<v Speaker 1>these are my boobs.

0:49:23.080 --> 0:49:24.440
<v Speaker 2>That's it. This is how they look.

0:49:24.880 --> 0:49:27.680
<v Speaker 1>And it had so much like less weight and meaning

0:49:28.200 --> 0:49:31.480
<v Speaker 1>and also you know, being careful about like what you're consuming,

0:49:31.560 --> 0:49:35.680
<v Speaker 1>it might be really emphasizing where the worth is coming from.

0:49:35.760 --> 0:49:38.319
<v Speaker 1>So that was that was so incredible, and thank you

0:49:38.400 --> 0:49:41.640
<v Speaker 1>so much for touching on that. Something that I also

0:49:42.360 --> 0:49:47.520
<v Speaker 1>love with you and Kick is how you don't do

0:49:47.719 --> 0:49:52.400
<v Speaker 1>before and after photos on Kick And it's like, you know,

0:49:52.560 --> 0:49:56.600
<v Speaker 1>I know from a marketing perspective how well that would

0:49:56.680 --> 0:49:59.640
<v Speaker 1>do for you guys, And so to see you guys

0:49:59.760 --> 0:50:03.480
<v Speaker 1>make such an integral move like that you know in

0:50:03.520 --> 0:50:05.520
<v Speaker 1>your fitness company is.

0:50:06.120 --> 0:50:08.800
<v Speaker 2>It's really remarkable And I love.

0:50:08.640 --> 0:50:10.879
<v Speaker 1>That you you know, even touched on this in the book,

0:50:10.920 --> 0:50:13.359
<v Speaker 1>and I would just love to hear like why you

0:50:13.400 --> 0:50:16.280
<v Speaker 1>don't why you guys are anti before and after photos

0:50:16.640 --> 0:50:19.319
<v Speaker 1>and also because you know there is this argument of

0:50:19.400 --> 0:50:22.560
<v Speaker 1>its motivation and I just yeah, I'd love to hear

0:50:22.600 --> 0:50:22.919
<v Speaker 1>you guys.

0:50:23.000 --> 0:50:25.080
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, sure, I mean, as I've said in the book,

0:50:25.200 --> 0:50:27.560
<v Speaker 4>like I think I started the chapter off basically saying, look,

0:50:27.600 --> 0:50:29.200
<v Speaker 4>if you can look at before and after photos and

0:50:29.200 --> 0:50:31.799
<v Speaker 4>you have such a great relationship with with health and

0:50:31.840 --> 0:50:34.960
<v Speaker 4>yourself that you are not negatively affected by it, then

0:50:35.560 --> 0:50:37.120
<v Speaker 4>like this message obviously isn't for you.

0:50:37.200 --> 0:50:38.080
<v Speaker 6>That that's fine.

0:50:38.120 --> 0:50:41.040
<v Speaker 4>However, for a lot of people it goes so much

0:50:41.080 --> 0:50:43.480
<v Speaker 4>deeper than that, and it can trigger so many things.

0:50:43.640 --> 0:50:46.600
<v Speaker 4>I mean, the biggest thing is basically all of the

0:50:46.640 --> 0:50:50.480
<v Speaker 4>praise that you see this person receiving. So if you're

0:50:50.520 --> 0:50:52.360
<v Speaker 4>looking at it as you've seen a post of it

0:50:52.400 --> 0:50:54.280
<v Speaker 4>before and after, you may or may not know this person,

0:50:54.360 --> 0:50:56.800
<v Speaker 4>but you're seeing a post as a person, as an individual,

0:50:57.120 --> 0:50:59.920
<v Speaker 4>and you're seeing all of this commentary about how great

0:51:00.080 --> 0:51:02.200
<v Speaker 4>they look and how much better they look and oh

0:51:02.200 --> 0:51:06.160
<v Speaker 4>my god, well done, all this positive praise. But nobody

0:51:06.239 --> 0:51:09.480
<v Speaker 4>knows other than what this person might have narrated as

0:51:09.520 --> 0:51:12.959
<v Speaker 4>their story. Nobody actually knows what went down to get

0:51:12.960 --> 0:51:17.080
<v Speaker 4>this trend like this transformation. You know, this person could

0:51:17.440 --> 0:51:22.200
<v Speaker 4>be over exercising, they might be obsessively exercising, they might

0:51:22.280 --> 0:51:26.440
<v Speaker 4>be binging, they might be restricting themselves, they might be

0:51:26.520 --> 0:51:30.200
<v Speaker 4>incredibly unhappy. You have no idea what's going on. But

0:51:30.640 --> 0:51:34.680
<v Speaker 4>by positively praising them, you're only feeding that. I suppose

0:51:34.719 --> 0:51:37.200
<v Speaker 4>want to kind of continue that encouragement to that, hey,

0:51:37.280 --> 0:51:39.000
<v Speaker 4>I'm looking good, Okay, I'm going to keep going.

0:51:39.520 --> 0:51:41.880
<v Speaker 6>And that's where you can get really really unhealthy.

0:51:41.920 --> 0:51:44.400
<v Speaker 4>I mean, for me, for my personal experience, when I

0:51:44.560 --> 0:51:46.480
<v Speaker 4>was living in New York and I was getting measured

0:51:46.480 --> 0:51:49.400
<v Speaker 4>every Monday and Friday, and I was getting this positive

0:51:49.440 --> 0:51:52.960
<v Speaker 4>praise because I was losing weight, and I just kept thinking, Okay,

0:51:52.960 --> 0:51:54.239
<v Speaker 4>I just need to do more and more and more

0:51:54.239 --> 0:51:56.400
<v Speaker 4>because they're getting really happy with me, and they were

0:51:56.440 --> 0:51:57.520
<v Speaker 4>unhappy with me before.

0:51:57.600 --> 0:51:59.399
<v Speaker 6>So this is good. This is a good thing.

0:51:59.760 --> 0:52:01.960
<v Speaker 4>That same thing, it feeds it, and it's like they

0:52:02.040 --> 0:52:03.840
<v Speaker 4>might be doing something really unhealthy. So that's where it

0:52:03.840 --> 0:52:07.080
<v Speaker 4>can be really damaging, and obviously that's damaging to the

0:52:07.080 --> 0:52:09.680
<v Speaker 4>person onlooking it's also damaging to the person in the photos,

0:52:09.719 --> 0:52:11.600
<v Speaker 4>of course, but at the end of the day, it's

0:52:11.680 --> 0:52:13.319
<v Speaker 4>just not about what you look like.

0:52:13.400 --> 0:52:15.680
<v Speaker 6>I think what's so beautiful in our community.

0:52:15.719 --> 0:52:17.680
<v Speaker 4>And it's not to say that our community members don't

0:52:17.719 --> 0:52:21.120
<v Speaker 4>share before and after is we certainly don't block them out.

0:52:21.239 --> 0:52:24.560
<v Speaker 4>It's been really interesting and regulating our community because we

0:52:24.760 --> 0:52:28.600
<v Speaker 4>very very rarely have to actually delete a post or

0:52:28.680 --> 0:52:31.839
<v Speaker 4>block a post from going live. Because the community, once

0:52:31.880 --> 0:52:33.279
<v Speaker 4>they're in there and they spend a little bit of

0:52:33.280 --> 0:52:37.080
<v Speaker 4>time in there, they quickly realize, you know, what we're

0:52:37.120 --> 0:52:39.040
<v Speaker 4>all about and what our community is all about, and

0:52:39.080 --> 0:52:42.720
<v Speaker 4>they're so supportive and encouraging that if anyone ever does

0:52:43.040 --> 0:52:46.040
<v Speaker 4>comment something about like negative towards themselves or something that

0:52:46.040 --> 0:52:48.799
<v Speaker 4>they're going through their journey or they might post it

0:52:48.800 --> 0:52:51.000
<v Speaker 4>before and after it, but they might be unhappy with something,

0:52:51.440 --> 0:52:53.799
<v Speaker 4>the community is so quick to kind of reframe the

0:52:53.800 --> 0:52:56.040
<v Speaker 4>way that their body is thinking, sorry, their brain is

0:52:56.080 --> 0:52:59.680
<v Speaker 4>thinking around their body and kind of re tell the

0:52:59.760 --> 0:53:01.879
<v Speaker 4>narraw of like this, this is why we can move

0:53:01.920 --> 0:53:03.360
<v Speaker 4>our body, or this is why we should move our

0:53:03.400 --> 0:53:05.840
<v Speaker 4>body it's a celebratary thing. It's, you know, we should

0:53:05.840 --> 0:53:07.560
<v Speaker 4>nourish our body because it gives you energy, all that

0:53:07.560 --> 0:53:10.319
<v Speaker 4>sort of stuff and reframing it. But that's what's really beautiful. However,

0:53:10.360 --> 0:53:12.719
<v Speaker 4>you don't see that when you when you just look

0:53:12.760 --> 0:53:15.840
<v Speaker 4>at the before and after photos of going through a challenge,

0:53:15.840 --> 0:53:19.640
<v Speaker 4>and the other thing is often those before and after

0:53:19.719 --> 0:53:22.359
<v Speaker 4>photos when they're conected to something like a challenge, it's

0:53:22.400 --> 0:53:25.640
<v Speaker 4>not a sustainable way to live, and so might do

0:53:25.840 --> 0:53:27.520
<v Speaker 4>like a six week challenge, might be a twelve week

0:53:27.600 --> 0:53:29.640
<v Speaker 4>challenge or whatever it is. You get to the end result,

0:53:29.640 --> 0:53:31.960
<v Speaker 4>you get all this positive praise. Then you start to

0:53:32.000 --> 0:53:34.160
<v Speaker 4>go back to your normal life because you can't sustain

0:53:34.239 --> 0:53:36.360
<v Speaker 4>whatever you were going through. And then you gain the

0:53:36.360 --> 0:53:38.640
<v Speaker 4>weight or you lose the weight, depending on you know,

0:53:38.680 --> 0:53:41.560
<v Speaker 4>whether you put muscle on or whatever, and you're suddenly

0:53:41.560 --> 0:53:43.759
<v Speaker 4>looking different to that after photo, and then you'll just

0:53:43.840 --> 0:53:47.239
<v Speaker 4>forever compare yourself to that after photo that got so

0:53:47.520 --> 0:53:50.160
<v Speaker 4>much you know, praise it. That's where it can be

0:53:50.239 --> 0:53:52.520
<v Speaker 4>so damaging and so unhealthy, and that is why we

0:53:53.000 --> 0:53:55.840
<v Speaker 4>don't share them as a company. And you're so right, Georgie,

0:53:55.880 --> 0:53:58.400
<v Speaker 4>like it's it's definitely something that we have had to

0:53:58.560 --> 0:54:01.520
<v Speaker 4>really stay true to and and be really strong on

0:54:01.640 --> 0:54:04.760
<v Speaker 4>because in the past it's not been anytime recently because

0:54:04.760 --> 0:54:07.000
<v Speaker 4>obviously our team who we work with now are all

0:54:07.160 --> 0:54:09.520
<v Speaker 4>very very much on board with what we do and

0:54:09.680 --> 0:54:12.719
<v Speaker 4>who we are. However, in the past we have been,

0:54:13.360 --> 0:54:16.880
<v Speaker 4>you know, encouraged to use that sort of imagery or

0:54:16.920 --> 0:54:20.520
<v Speaker 4>messaging in our marketing because it is it's unfortunate, but

0:54:20.800 --> 0:54:23.640
<v Speaker 4>it is a very easy pull to things like a

0:54:23.680 --> 0:54:26.200
<v Speaker 4>fitness thing. But that's not what we're about. We're not

0:54:26.200 --> 0:54:29.399
<v Speaker 4>about encouraging users to focus on the aesthetic changes. It's

0:54:29.440 --> 0:54:31.319
<v Speaker 4>about much much more than that, and that's the way

0:54:31.320 --> 0:54:34.640
<v Speaker 4>that you can actually sustain it and find you know,

0:54:34.960 --> 0:54:38.120
<v Speaker 4>your healthy recipe whatever that looks like for you. So yeah,

0:54:38.120 --> 0:54:39.440
<v Speaker 4>we won't be sharing them.

0:54:39.480 --> 0:54:41.319
<v Speaker 6>And there's also so many on the internet too that

0:54:41.480 --> 0:54:44.439
<v Speaker 6>literally aren't even from it's like a it's a lot

0:54:44.840 --> 0:54:46.719
<v Speaker 6>like they there's photos that I know that have been

0:54:46.760 --> 0:54:49.080
<v Speaker 6>taken from things I've seen, like one programs posted it

0:54:49.120 --> 0:54:51.200
<v Speaker 6>and then in other programs using that as an ad

0:54:51.960 --> 0:54:53.400
<v Speaker 6>post METO.

0:54:59.400 --> 0:55:03.239
<v Speaker 2>I know, I know, oh and I like I love

0:55:03.320 --> 0:55:05.080
<v Speaker 2>that you really, yes.

0:55:04.960 --> 0:55:12.920
<v Speaker 1>Like stress like it's the getting the messaging and the feedback.

0:55:12.400 --> 0:55:13.399
<v Speaker 2>Of well done.

0:55:13.640 --> 0:55:16.960
<v Speaker 1>This is so great and it's interesting because I was

0:55:17.000 --> 0:55:20.719
<v Speaker 1>just reflecting then and like my personal page, I've been

0:55:20.760 --> 0:55:23.640
<v Speaker 1>on Instagram for like eight years, and at the start

0:55:23.880 --> 0:55:27.040
<v Speaker 1>it grew off my before and afters, Like you know,

0:55:27.360 --> 0:55:29.279
<v Speaker 1>that was I was the fitness Queen and it was

0:55:29.320 --> 0:55:34.400
<v Speaker 1>before and afters, and I remember getting that applause and

0:55:34.480 --> 0:55:39.120
<v Speaker 1>praise and that feeding and I was very unhealthy back

0:55:39.160 --> 0:55:43.400
<v Speaker 1>then and I was underreading over exercising, but that fed

0:55:43.520 --> 0:55:47.600
<v Speaker 1>into such unhealthy ways and then you know, I had

0:55:47.600 --> 0:55:49.319
<v Speaker 1>such a journey with having.

0:55:49.040 --> 0:55:50.279
<v Speaker 2>To unlearn that.

0:55:50.960 --> 0:55:54.800
<v Speaker 1>But it it is hard because that's literally what.

0:55:54.719 --> 0:55:58.480
<v Speaker 2>The focus of the fitness industry is. It's before and afters.

0:55:58.600 --> 0:56:01.600
<v Speaker 1>So I really love that you guys have such a

0:56:01.640 --> 0:56:03.799
<v Speaker 1>stance on that and it's it's really incredible.

0:56:04.040 --> 0:56:06.400
<v Speaker 2>All right, let's move on to Connection.

0:56:06.640 --> 0:56:09.080
<v Speaker 1>So this is the last part of your book, and

0:56:10.000 --> 0:56:14.840
<v Speaker 1>it's so beautiful. It's really great that you know, you

0:56:15.760 --> 0:56:19.359
<v Speaker 1>spoke about so so many things, and I just want

0:56:19.360 --> 0:56:21.840
<v Speaker 1>to grab a couple of parts, you know, to finish

0:56:21.920 --> 0:56:25.640
<v Speaker 1>off this interview. And Laura, I thought it was really

0:56:25.680 --> 0:56:30.200
<v Speaker 1>really interesting what you wrote about your complicated relationship. You

0:56:30.239 --> 0:56:33.080
<v Speaker 1>know that you have with the word hustle and over

0:56:33.120 --> 0:56:36.480
<v Speaker 1>the few years, how you've had to really deprogram and

0:56:36.680 --> 0:56:40.320
<v Speaker 1>unlearn the hustle mindset. Again, I resonate with this so much.

0:56:40.920 --> 0:56:43.800
<v Speaker 1>I'd love to know, you know, how you go about

0:56:43.840 --> 0:56:48.520
<v Speaker 1>deprogramming the hustle mindset and also put in you know,

0:56:48.800 --> 0:56:50.759
<v Speaker 1>because in the book you talk about the quote to

0:56:50.840 --> 0:56:54.840
<v Speaker 1>expect extraordinary results, we must put in extraordinary effort.

0:56:55.320 --> 0:56:57.840
<v Speaker 2>So it's like, how do you navigate that balance.

0:56:58.000 --> 0:57:00.120
<v Speaker 7>I mean, it's a tough one and I think definitely

0:57:00.200 --> 0:57:02.480
<v Speaker 7>is something where as I've said, like this book for

0:57:02.640 --> 0:57:04.440
<v Speaker 7>us as well as something that we're going to continue

0:57:04.480 --> 0:57:07.799
<v Speaker 7>to really visit, and you just have those reminders because

0:57:07.840 --> 0:57:09.480
<v Speaker 7>you don't get to a point. I feel like, yeah,

0:57:09.480 --> 0:57:11.440
<v Speaker 7>we ebb and flow and everything. But I think for

0:57:11.520 --> 0:57:14.920
<v Speaker 7>me in terms of hustle, I think it's reframing my

0:57:15.040 --> 0:57:18.280
<v Speaker 7>relationship with that word. I think maybe three years ago

0:57:18.560 --> 0:57:20.920
<v Speaker 7>I wore the fact that I was busy and in

0:57:21.080 --> 0:57:24.320
<v Speaker 7>quotation marks hustling as a badge of honor, and if

0:57:24.360 --> 0:57:26.520
<v Speaker 7>I had a conversation with someone or how I am busy,

0:57:26.520 --> 0:57:26.919
<v Speaker 7>I'm busy.

0:57:26.920 --> 0:57:27.320
<v Speaker 6>I'm busy.

0:57:28.120 --> 0:57:30.760
<v Speaker 7>There's honestly nothing more boring to have a conversation than

0:57:30.760 --> 0:57:31.720
<v Speaker 7>someone that just says they're busy.

0:57:31.720 --> 0:57:32.520
<v Speaker 6>It's like, okay, great.

0:57:32.680 --> 0:57:36.000
<v Speaker 7>But what I've had to reframe in my mind is

0:57:37.000 --> 0:57:39.120
<v Speaker 7>I think sometimes the thing with hustle and that you know,

0:57:39.160 --> 0:57:41.080
<v Speaker 7>the hustle culture on Instagram and that the stuff that

0:57:41.120 --> 0:57:43.360
<v Speaker 7>we get caught up in and I've been there, I've

0:57:43.360 --> 0:57:46.520
<v Speaker 7>been caught up in it, right, is that you forget

0:57:46.560 --> 0:57:50.080
<v Speaker 7>that you're making a choice. So I have reframed it

0:57:50.160 --> 0:57:54.120
<v Speaker 7>in my head as I make a choice to work

0:57:54.160 --> 0:57:57.400
<v Speaker 7>really hard fully half but also we've made a choice

0:57:57.400 --> 0:58:00.840
<v Speaker 7>as a business to have very very Our growth plan

0:58:01.120 --> 0:58:03.280
<v Speaker 7>is quite aggressive. I would say what we want to

0:58:03.320 --> 0:58:05.439
<v Speaker 7>do with quick we have both sat in a room

0:58:05.440 --> 0:58:07.360
<v Speaker 7>and we have decided we want to do this, and

0:58:07.400 --> 0:58:10.760
<v Speaker 7>so with that comes sacrifice, and with that comes work

0:58:10.800 --> 0:58:12.160
<v Speaker 7>that has to be put in. You can't sit in

0:58:12.160 --> 0:58:13.560
<v Speaker 7>a room and say i want my company, you know,

0:58:13.640 --> 0:58:15.840
<v Speaker 7>to go to grow globally and be in all these

0:58:15.840 --> 0:58:18.040
<v Speaker 7>different global markets and I'm not really going to do anything.

0:58:18.040 --> 0:58:20.120
<v Speaker 7>I'm just gonna do the amendment Like that's not You're

0:58:20.640 --> 0:58:22.280
<v Speaker 7>you're not going to get there, right, So you have

0:58:22.360 --> 0:58:24.360
<v Speaker 7>to be realistic. You can't just have work life balance

0:58:24.360 --> 0:58:26.360
<v Speaker 7>to the point where it's like it's all life, no work,

0:58:26.400 --> 0:58:28.360
<v Speaker 7>and you know you're not putting the work in because

0:58:28.360 --> 0:58:30.440
<v Speaker 7>you have to put the work in, But it's about

0:58:30.600 --> 0:58:32.960
<v Speaker 7>kind of sitting down and thinking to myself, I have

0:58:33.080 --> 0:58:34.720
<v Speaker 7>made this choice to do this.

0:58:34.720 --> 0:58:35.280
<v Speaker 6>This is the.

0:58:35.280 --> 0:58:37.720
<v Speaker 7>Choice that you know that we've made together and the

0:58:37.760 --> 0:58:39.600
<v Speaker 7>business has made, and we've made with our advisors and

0:58:39.840 --> 0:58:42.640
<v Speaker 7>you know, everyone in our business, and so here's what

0:58:42.680 --> 0:58:44.320
<v Speaker 7>we have to do to get there. And yes it

0:58:44.360 --> 0:58:47.000
<v Speaker 7>requires working hard and doing a lot of work, because

0:58:47.000 --> 0:58:49.840
<v Speaker 7>that's that's important. But it's just reframing that that it's

0:58:49.880 --> 0:58:51.840
<v Speaker 7>it's a choice and it's like, again, it's a privileged

0:58:51.840 --> 0:58:53.320
<v Speaker 7>to be able to have said to do what we

0:58:53.360 --> 0:58:56.280
<v Speaker 7>do and love what we do and to be in

0:58:56.280 --> 0:58:58.400
<v Speaker 7>a position where we can make a decision that you know,

0:58:58.440 --> 0:59:02.240
<v Speaker 7>we've we've tested a market in Australia that we then

0:59:02.400 --> 0:59:04.400
<v Speaker 7>want to go and test globally, Like that's that is

0:59:04.440 --> 0:59:06.520
<v Speaker 7>an amazing thing that we're able to do and the

0:59:06.600 --> 0:59:08.680
<v Speaker 7>learnings we're going to get so exciting. And also, I mean,

0:59:08.720 --> 0:59:11.560
<v Speaker 7>it's all about connecting back to the mission with Kick

0:59:11.680 --> 0:59:14.280
<v Speaker 7>is trying to help as many people reframe that relationship

0:59:14.280 --> 0:59:17.640
<v Speaker 7>with health and wellness and build that sustainable approach and

0:59:18.520 --> 0:59:22.000
<v Speaker 7>live happier and healthier lives. And so that is how

0:59:22.040 --> 0:59:24.000
<v Speaker 7>I've kind of tried to think about it, because it's

0:59:24.040 --> 0:59:25.960
<v Speaker 7>not about not putting the work in, but it's just

0:59:26.000 --> 0:59:28.280
<v Speaker 7>about reframing. You know, when someone asks you how have

0:59:28.320 --> 0:59:30.840
<v Speaker 7>you been, it's not oh, I'm so busy. It's like, yep,

0:59:30.880 --> 0:59:32.720
<v Speaker 7>you know, I'm doing X, Y and Z. But that

0:59:32.880 --> 0:59:35.000
<v Speaker 7>because they're choices. I think some of when we say

0:59:35.000 --> 0:59:37.040
<v Speaker 7>we're busy and we're hustling, it's like it's being forced

0:59:37.080 --> 0:59:40.200
<v Speaker 7>upon us. But if you reframe it and you realize

0:59:40.240 --> 0:59:42.000
<v Speaker 7>it's I mean, it's kind of like how I balance

0:59:42.000 --> 0:59:45.360
<v Speaker 7>everything in terms of especially with work, because it is

0:59:45.440 --> 0:59:47.520
<v Speaker 7>it is we do. We do work a lot, and

0:59:47.600 --> 0:59:50.240
<v Speaker 7>I think it's just important. Otherwise you just feel shame

0:59:50.280 --> 0:59:52.520
<v Speaker 7>all the time and guilt for the things that you're sacrificing,

0:59:52.560 --> 0:59:54.560
<v Speaker 7>and especially for you, Steff, like I don't have for

0:59:54.800 --> 0:59:56.200
<v Speaker 7>both of you, I don't have kids, so I don't

0:59:56.760 --> 0:59:59.360
<v Speaker 7>that I know will be the biggest, you know, guilt

0:59:59.360 --> 1:00:01.280
<v Speaker 7>feeling out of it anything, and it probably is incoparable

1:00:01.280 --> 1:00:05.200
<v Speaker 7>to anything you felt before you had Harvey. But when

1:00:05.240 --> 1:00:07.280
<v Speaker 7>I ever feel guilty, about you know, letting my family

1:00:07.320 --> 1:00:10.400
<v Speaker 7>down or friends or my mental health. I obviously it's

1:00:10.440 --> 1:00:12.640
<v Speaker 7>trying to find that balance of not just like you know,

1:00:12.680 --> 1:00:14.480
<v Speaker 7>telling yourself moving.

1:00:14.240 --> 1:00:16.840
<v Speaker 6>Exactly what you still need to try and avoid burnout.

1:00:16.520 --> 1:00:19.160
<v Speaker 7>Not burning out, but also not holding that mental load

1:00:19.360 --> 1:00:23.640
<v Speaker 7>of realizing the sacrifices that you have chosen to make,

1:00:23.680 --> 1:00:25.560
<v Speaker 7>and that's important, like it's a choice that I made

1:00:25.640 --> 1:00:27.479
<v Speaker 7>right and that we made together. So it's like trying

1:00:27.480 --> 1:00:29.240
<v Speaker 7>to find that balance because otherwise I think you just

1:00:29.240 --> 1:00:31.040
<v Speaker 7>sit and you just feel sorry for yourself and then

1:00:31.080 --> 1:00:32.720
<v Speaker 7>you live in that, as you kind of said it

1:00:32.800 --> 1:00:34.840
<v Speaker 7>for around you know, you feel guilty all the time

1:00:34.880 --> 1:00:36.960
<v Speaker 7>and that that's not a way to live. So it's

1:00:37.000 --> 1:00:39.440
<v Speaker 7>just trying to find a way to work through that

1:00:39.520 --> 1:00:40.760
<v Speaker 7>and just reframe that.

1:00:40.880 --> 1:00:43.360
<v Speaker 6>I don't know if that helps it all, but it is.

1:00:43.480 --> 1:00:47.160
<v Speaker 4>Sometimes the mental load is actually so much heavier than

1:00:47.720 --> 1:00:51.160
<v Speaker 4>what you're actually going through. Not always like sometimes you

1:00:51.200 --> 1:00:53.640
<v Speaker 4>really do just have too much on and not enough time,

1:00:53.720 --> 1:00:56.080
<v Speaker 4>and that can be hard and you need to navigate

1:00:56.120 --> 1:00:59.760
<v Speaker 4>that too and find those times that you can schedule

1:00:59.800 --> 1:01:02.800
<v Speaker 4>in if it's half an hour of something where you're

1:01:02.840 --> 1:01:05.680
<v Speaker 4>not necessarily burning to the ground. Because it is really

1:01:05.680 --> 1:01:07.960
<v Speaker 4>important to also avoid burnout because if you are working

1:01:08.000 --> 1:01:11.440
<v Speaker 4>so hard towards a goal and you're not recognizing the

1:01:11.840 --> 1:01:14.200
<v Speaker 4>you know, things that are popping up and telling you, hey,

1:01:14.240 --> 1:01:16.280
<v Speaker 4>you really need to just take a moment, and then

1:01:16.320 --> 1:01:18.320
<v Speaker 4>you go towards burnout. It's like you're gonna have to

1:01:18.360 --> 1:01:23.360
<v Speaker 4>take weeks of productivity anyway, because you'll be a mess.

1:01:22.960 --> 1:01:26.080
<v Speaker 7>More efficient exactly, because there's some people that posse like,

1:01:26.200 --> 1:01:28.040
<v Speaker 7>I'm hustling until three o'clock in the morning, and then

1:01:28.040 --> 1:01:30.160
<v Speaker 7>I might say, oh my god, I'm not working till

1:01:30.160 --> 1:01:31.040
<v Speaker 7>three o'clock in the morning.

1:01:31.040 --> 1:01:33.000
<v Speaker 6>But I know if I did that, I would not

1:01:33.080 --> 1:01:33.320
<v Speaker 6>be out.

1:01:33.360 --> 1:01:36.560
<v Speaker 7>I would I would be a very mean So it's

1:01:36.640 --> 1:01:38.760
<v Speaker 7>just finding that balance.

1:01:41.240 --> 1:01:44.080
<v Speaker 1>No, No, that is so helpful, and it is it's

1:01:44.120 --> 1:01:47.000
<v Speaker 1>so true, and I like, I think it's just so

1:01:47.160 --> 1:01:51.960
<v Speaker 1>incredible because it is so much about our mindset and

1:01:52.000 --> 1:01:55.680
<v Speaker 1>how we can take that mental load away and reframe things.

1:01:55.760 --> 1:01:58.280
<v Speaker 1>And it's yeah, like, if you can kind of hack

1:01:58.320 --> 1:02:01.200
<v Speaker 1>your mindset, you really can live a life that is

1:02:01.280 --> 1:02:05.200
<v Speaker 1>truly authentic to you and it can really look you know,

1:02:05.400 --> 1:02:07.360
<v Speaker 1>exactly how you want it. You've just got to be

1:02:07.440 --> 1:02:11.040
<v Speaker 1>able to catch yourself and reprogram it and reframe it.

1:02:11.160 --> 1:02:13.760
<v Speaker 1>And it is It's so beautiful because I do the

1:02:13.800 --> 1:02:16.120
<v Speaker 1>exact same thing where I'm like, you know, if I'm

1:02:16.120 --> 1:02:18.920
<v Speaker 1>starting to feel the mom guilt or you know, somethink

1:02:18.920 --> 1:02:20.600
<v Speaker 1>a work or this and that, and I have to

1:02:21.080 --> 1:02:24.200
<v Speaker 1>reframe and be like, no, Georgie, you wanted this, you

1:02:24.400 --> 1:02:27.080
<v Speaker 1>chose this, and now you're living out that you know

1:02:27.360 --> 1:02:30.880
<v Speaker 1>choice and that dream, and so like what's happening here?

1:02:31.000 --> 1:02:32.760
<v Speaker 2>And you yeah, you've.

1:02:32.280 --> 1:02:36.320
<v Speaker 1>Almost like that awareness is so so huge and it's

1:02:36.440 --> 1:02:39.160
<v Speaker 1>not there's not like a solution where it's like, well,

1:02:39.200 --> 1:02:41.280
<v Speaker 1>you just do this and you don't feel guilt anymore

1:02:41.480 --> 1:02:43.720
<v Speaker 1>or you don't feel you know, that sort of thing.

1:02:43.920 --> 1:02:48.840
<v Speaker 1>It's about constantly catching yourself and also having these conversations

1:02:49.280 --> 1:02:51.120
<v Speaker 1>and talking about it. And that's why I think the

1:02:51.160 --> 1:02:55.320
<v Speaker 1>book is so so incredible. So thank you so much

1:02:55.320 --> 1:02:58.920
<v Speaker 1>for answering that. And just to finish off the interview,

1:02:59.280 --> 1:03:02.800
<v Speaker 1>I have just a couple of quick fire questions for

1:03:02.840 --> 1:03:05.600
<v Speaker 1>you guys, just something we always ask our guests. So,

1:03:05.840 --> 1:03:09.120
<v Speaker 1>what's the best advice you have ever received?

1:03:09.400 --> 1:03:11.280
<v Speaker 4>I think one thing that I often bring up, which

1:03:11.320 --> 1:03:13.280
<v Speaker 4>is just something that my mum drilled into me from

1:03:13.280 --> 1:03:15.720
<v Speaker 4>a very young age is to treat people how you

1:03:15.800 --> 1:03:17.960
<v Speaker 4>should be treated. And I think that doesn't mean that

1:03:18.000 --> 1:03:20.720
<v Speaker 4>I always do, but it's something that I have to

1:03:20.960 --> 1:03:23.480
<v Speaker 4>I really want. I value in myself when I do,

1:03:23.560 --> 1:03:26.800
<v Speaker 4>and I like it when other people do that as well,

1:03:27.080 --> 1:03:29.240
<v Speaker 4>and I try to surround myself with people who do

1:03:29.360 --> 1:03:31.360
<v Speaker 4>kind of practice that. So I think it is something

1:03:31.760 --> 1:03:34.400
<v Speaker 4>that's really important to me and something that has stuck

1:03:34.440 --> 1:03:36.560
<v Speaker 4>with me. Although the last time she said it to

1:03:36.560 --> 1:03:38.800
<v Speaker 4>me was probably when I was like eleven years old.

1:03:38.920 --> 1:03:42.360
<v Speaker 4>So it's something that I try and take through my

1:03:42.400 --> 1:03:46.440
<v Speaker 4>personal relationships, my work relationships, just to treat everyone equal

1:03:46.440 --> 1:03:49.160
<v Speaker 4>and to treat them how you wish to be treated.

1:03:49.560 --> 1:03:51.120
<v Speaker 7>I love that, and I think for me right in

1:03:51.160 --> 1:03:54.640
<v Speaker 7>this moment, it would be that we cannot control what

1:03:54.680 --> 1:03:57.480
<v Speaker 7>other people think of us, and that is very important

1:03:57.480 --> 1:04:01.200
<v Speaker 7>to remember and to not let that control you and

1:04:01.200 --> 1:04:02.360
<v Speaker 7>how you think of yourself.

1:04:02.400 --> 1:04:06.120
<v Speaker 1>That is so incredible, guys, you have been so amazing

1:04:06.160 --> 1:04:09.880
<v Speaker 1>to have on the show, and again, congratulations, this is

1:04:10.000 --> 1:04:12.080
<v Speaker 1>just so so incredible.

1:04:12.120 --> 1:04:12.440
<v Speaker 2>Guys.

1:04:12.480 --> 1:04:14.960
<v Speaker 1>You have to go out and get you take care.

1:04:15.440 --> 1:04:17.560
<v Speaker 1>We'll put all the links and everything in the show

1:04:17.600 --> 1:04:21.200
<v Speaker 1>notes because it's such a beautiful read, especially before bed.

1:04:21.560 --> 1:04:24.320
<v Speaker 1>That's what I found, Like, you know, it's something where

1:04:24.520 --> 1:04:28.400
<v Speaker 1>it's not going to it's not like read before this book,

1:04:28.400 --> 1:04:31.200
<v Speaker 1>I was reading a thriller, a romantic thriller.

1:04:31.240 --> 1:04:32.280
<v Speaker 2>It was really confusing.

1:04:33.440 --> 1:04:36.760
<v Speaker 1>So this has been so much nicer to digest before bed.

1:04:37.320 --> 1:04:40.200
<v Speaker 1>It's yeah, no, it's really really incredible. But thank you

1:04:40.240 --> 1:04:41.800
<v Speaker 1>guys so much. Do you want to just let the

1:04:41.800 --> 1:04:43.560
<v Speaker 1>audience know where they can find you or where they

1:04:43.560 --> 1:04:43.960
<v Speaker 1>can grab it?

1:04:44.040 --> 1:04:45.080
<v Speaker 6>Thank you so much.

1:04:45.680 --> 1:04:47.880
<v Speaker 7>We really really appreciate it's been so so nice to

1:04:48.320 --> 1:04:50.200
<v Speaker 7>chat to you. Yeah, seriously, the.

1:04:50.200 --> 1:04:51.640
<v Speaker 4>Book is that I mean you can get it from

1:04:51.680 --> 1:04:54.680
<v Speaker 4>book Topia but also all major bookstores as well.

1:04:54.760 --> 1:04:56.240
<v Speaker 6>It's there, which is so surreal.

1:04:56.280 --> 1:04:58.760
<v Speaker 4>I can't tell you surreality is saying it a person. Yeah,

1:04:58.800 --> 1:05:00.320
<v Speaker 4>I mean, if you'd like to find out more about Kick,

1:05:00.360 --> 1:05:03.520
<v Speaker 4>our websites Keep it Cleaner dot com and we're at

1:05:03.640 --> 1:05:06.560
<v Speaker 4>kick on TikTok and keep it Clean on Instagram.

1:05:08.160 --> 1:05:14.680
<v Speaker 2>Thank you so much, ladies, Thank you so much for

1:05:14.800 --> 1:05:18.440
<v Speaker 2>listening to another episode of the Rise and Conker Podcast.

1:05:18.880 --> 1:05:20.040
<v Speaker 2>If you enjoyed it and.

1:05:20.000 --> 1:05:24.280
<v Speaker 1>Want more, come connect with us on Instagram at Risinconquer

1:05:24.560 --> 1:05:28.479
<v Speaker 1>dot podcast and join our Facebook discussion group, a Rise

1:05:28.520 --> 1:05:32.600
<v Speaker 1>and Concer podcast community. We're an independent podcast and we

1:05:32.680 --> 1:05:35.400
<v Speaker 1>have a small team, so we do appreciate your time

1:05:35.480 --> 1:05:38.240
<v Speaker 1>and support. If you have a spare moment, a follow

1:05:38.400 --> 1:05:42.320
<v Speaker 1>or subscribe on whatever platform you listen to would be

1:05:42.760 --> 1:05:46.480
<v Speaker 1>so amazing, And look, if you're feeling extra kind, a

1:05:46.560 --> 1:05:49.280
<v Speaker 1>review on Apple Podcasts would be great.