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Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr

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Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before

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Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I

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Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land

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Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,

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Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming

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Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing

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Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for

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Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: Let's get into it. She's on the Money.

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Speaker 3: She's on the Money.

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Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on them the podcast Millennials

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Speaker 2: who Want Financial Freedom. Today is Friday, which means it

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Speaker 2: is time to get the team together and celebrate you

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Speaker 2: our incredible She's on the Money community Today, Miss Jess

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Speaker 2: Garrici is going to be sharing some of the community's

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Speaker 2: favorite money wins. We have a new segment starting which

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Speaker 2: I am so excited about. Miss Beck say ed you

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Speaker 2: have asked for your own segment. You said, Jess gets one,

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Speaker 2: I want one. I did, and we are going to

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Speaker 2: accommodate that. So stick around and we will get to

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Speaker 2: it very quickly. As always, we're going to be helping

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Speaker 2: to answer juicy money dilemma, which this week, guys, a

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Speaker 2: little bit spicy, is all about the cost of getting

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Speaker 2: your eggs frozen, which is a little bit topical at

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Speaker 2: the moment, and we're going to be unpacking something you

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Speaker 2: slid into our DMS about which this week we're discussing

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Speaker 2: splitting wedding costs with your partner. How have your weeks been?

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Speaker 2: My loves very good, very good, very good. Yes, Why

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Speaker 2: what happened?

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Speaker 4: Well, I'm home now. I don't know if you remember,

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Speaker 4: but last week I was house sitting.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, which is ill. It's mister Jean Parmesan.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And so while I do enjoy living by myself,

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Speaker 4: I'm happy to be back home with my housemates and

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Speaker 4: sleeping my own bed.

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Speaker 2: Are you going to get a cat?

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Speaker 5: Like?

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Speaker 2: Maybe you should? Are you? You're sold on the cat?

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Speaker 4: I'm kinda in love with the cats, and I never

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Speaker 4: thought this would happen, but no.

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Speaker 2: No, it's a slippery slope. I didn't think I was

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Speaker 2: a cat person. Then I was a cat person. Then

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Speaker 2: I had one cat. Now I have two cats. Honestly,

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Speaker 2: it just keeps going on. It's just Gricci. Before she joined,

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Speaker 2: She's on the money. How many cats did you have?

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Speaker 5: No cat?

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Speaker 2: How many cats do you now have? Two cats? Exactly?

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Speaker 2: The money effects exactly put on our producer and Alisa,

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Speaker 2: you're not on Mike. Why did you get the job

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Speaker 2: at She's on the money? Cat? Yeah, she had a

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Speaker 2: cat and we talked about the cat in the interview.

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Speaker 2: So Beck, it's actually timing stepped up. Yeah, what the

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Speaker 2: hell have I've been waiting for? I really need to

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Speaker 2: get a cat.

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Speaker 1: I don know.

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Speaker 2: It's really disappointing. I'll talk you about this or fair later.

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Speaker 2: It's just grechy. How has your week been?

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Speaker 5: It was good, nothing particularly exciting.

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Speaker 2: We had a staycation this week.

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Speaker 5: Take that back.

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Speaker 2: We had a staycation.

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Speaker 5: It was very fun. We did some planning, We had

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Speaker 5: some sticky notes, it was all happening.

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Speaker 2: We probably a kilo bag of Alan slowlies. Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I got sent to office works for stick notes and

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Speaker 5: I walked out with a one point three kilo back

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Speaker 5: of Allen's. I was like, this seems like an office essential.

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Speaker 2: Yes, it was business expense obviously, so we were very

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Speaker 2: high on sugar but you know what we've done. We've

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Speaker 2: planned a lot of content for shehees on the Money,

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Speaker 2: and I am super excited. I was feeling a little

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Speaker 2: bit overwhelmed with how much I was biting off, and

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Speaker 2: I said, Jess, we need to lock ourselves in a

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Speaker 2: room and get this planning stuff done. So we did,

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Speaker 2: and now I'm super excited. So that was a good week.

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Speaker 2: It's been a good week, guys, good week for a round,

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Speaker 2: but it's also been a good week for the community. So,

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Speaker 2: Miss Jess Garucci, what are your favorite money wins from

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Speaker 2: this week's thread.

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Speaker 5: My first money win this week comes from Teresa, who said,

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Speaker 5: my girlfriends and I have been entering lots of insta

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Speaker 5: competitions and we just won one hundred and fifty dollars

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Speaker 5: bar tab at King's Cross Distillery and their full premale

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Speaker 5: cocktail range, and I was just like money, you never

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Speaker 5: hear about people winning Instagram competitions.

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Speaker 2: You'd love to see it. We do throw a few

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Speaker 2: Instagram competitions on our socials and people literally win, So

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Speaker 2: it's money win for everybody involved.

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Speaker 5: One hundred percent at She's on my aus if you

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Speaker 5: want to four us the next My money in comes

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Speaker 5: from Page, who said, my colleagues and I just voted

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Speaker 5: to endorse our union log of claims for new Enterprise agreement,

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Speaker 5: and the pay rise for the first year we're looking

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Speaker 5: for is seven point five percent. Heck, yes, this doesn't

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Speaker 5: necessarily mean we'll achieve that, but it's a good start.

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Speaker 2: I feel like it is so important. I got canceled

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Speaker 2: this week on the internet. Well, not really canceled. I

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Speaker 2: just had a lot of people in my DMS very

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Speaker 2: angry because I made a little piece of video content

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Speaker 2: that said, if you're not getting a seven percent pay

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Speaker 2: rise this year, you're actually financially going backwards. Where is

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Speaker 2: the lie?

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Speaker 5: There is none.

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Speaker 2: Where is the lie?

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Speaker 5: Is the line the room with us right now? No,

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Speaker 5: it's not, because it doesn't exist, literally all right. My

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Speaker 5: next money in came from Chavon, who said, I learned

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Speaker 5: a great tip from a friend this week. We went

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Speaker 5: to the farm's market, which I am notorious for impulse

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Speaker 5: buying from. She went around and collected business cards from

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Speaker 5: each store that she saw things she liked that so

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Speaker 5: that she could purchase from them.

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Speaker 2: Lada, Oh, that's actually so smart and a good way

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Speaker 2: of like supporting a small business so that there's a

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Speaker 2: little bit more longevity. So like instead of just impulse

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Speaker 2: purchasing something and being like, I don't know, I just

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Speaker 2: got it at a market, you could like follow them

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Speaker 2: on socials or like, I don't know, share it with

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Speaker 2: a friend. Yeah, how good, pass it along.

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Speaker 5: You love to see it. Next money mining, it is

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Speaker 5: from Dana who said money win. Our city's zoo has

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Speaker 5: free entry for kids for the month of May, so

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Speaker 5: we did a family day out for Mother's Day yesterday,

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Speaker 5: glorious sunshine, free kids entry, free parking on a Sunday,

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Speaker 5: and the mothers were given a free gift of beautiful

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Speaker 5: smelling candles.

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Speaker 2: Oh how cute awesome.

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Speaker 5: As my next money mining from Alisha, who said money win.

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Speaker 5: I moved my emergency fund from an account only earning

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Speaker 5: one point nine to five percent to one earning four

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Speaker 5: point five percent interest genius.

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Speaker 2: I feel like, as much as the cost of living

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Speaker 2: has been increasing and everybody is talking about how the

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Speaker 2: cash rate is so high and our mortgages are costing more,

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Speaker 2: do you know what this actually means? Fuss little savvy savers.

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Speaker 2: The interest rate on high interest savings accounts. It's coming back, baby,

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Speaker 2: you love it. We love to see it in incredible.

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Speaker 5: My last one for this week comes from Alissa, and

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Speaker 5: I felt this in my soul. She said, money win,

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Speaker 5: emotional loss not getting picked for the Australian Taylor Swift

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Speaker 5: pre sale, and I just I'm right there with you best,

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Speaker 5: So sad, It's okay, Okay, I'm on Taylor Swift TikTok

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Speaker 5: and I keep seeing girls making their cute outfits and

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Speaker 5: ryan stoning their boots and I'm like, I just want

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Speaker 5: that to be me.

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Speaker 2: We will be going to Taylor Swift. I don't even care,

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Speaker 2: like it's gonna be a thing. Becky, you're gonna come.

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Speaker 2: Do you want to come to Taylor Swift?

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Speaker 4: I will come. If there are free.

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Speaker 2: Tickets, go you all buy your ticket. You have to

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Speaker 2: make your costume. Okay, that's the trade off. So I'm

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Speaker 2: just gonna make everybody in the team come to Taylor Swift.

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Speaker 2: Nobody else in the team cares about Taylor Swift like

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Speaker 2: Jess does. I mean, I'm probably secondary to that, but

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Speaker 2: like Jess og we're going to Taylor Swift, going to care.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I want to go to Taylor Swift and watch

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Speaker 4: Jess cry.

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Speaker 2: Probably she'll just cry like, jess is the type of

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Speaker 2: girl that, like, I don't know if this is correct

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Speaker 2: or not, because I'm just hypothesizing her dream proposals to

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Speaker 2: be proposed to add a Taylor Swift concept. Oh that's Jessica.

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Speaker 3: That's really coo.

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Speaker 2: Oh that too. She would absolutely say yes, if Taylor

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Speaker 2: Swift was supposed, I would be there. I'd be like,

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Speaker 2: can I be the bridesmaid? Can? I don't care what

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Speaker 2: you say, jess I know you would thrive on that

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Speaker 2: energy like Taylor Swift live singing or you've got proposed

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Speaker 2: to She's for the girlies. She's for the girlies. All right.

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Speaker 2: Usually we go to a break right here, but this

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Speaker 2: week and every week that is coming in the future,

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Speaker 2: we will not be going to a break here because Beck,

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Speaker 2: what are we introducing to the show?

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Speaker 4: Okay, so what I've thought about doing now is and

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Speaker 4: also you know, this may change. It's not going to

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Speaker 4: be a very strict sort of format. But I started

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Speaker 4: thinking this week. It was the week before paid month

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Speaker 4: pay cycle, and I had eight dollars and fifty six cents,

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Speaker 4: and I thought, God, I wish there was some where

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Speaker 4: for me to find like super cheap foods or some

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Speaker 4: sort of access to like maybe some tips and tricks

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Speaker 4: and how the hell to get buy on eight dollars

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Speaker 4: fifty six? And you know, in my travels, I find

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Speaker 4: really cheap foods and I find ways to you know, money,

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Speaker 4: is it? Yeah, like instead of buying like a frank

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Speaker 4: green drink bottle, I'll find ways like do things cheaper.

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Speaker 4: So absolutely, I'm thinking of just every week telling you

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Speaker 4: guys what I did in the week to save a buck.

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Sweet? What do you want to call this segment? Like,

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Speaker 2: I mean, you pitched it to us and it was

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Speaker 2: as unhinged as that explanation, and we're like, you know what,

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Speaker 2: if you want to do that, you can do that.

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Speaker 2: We are here for it. Do we have a name

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Speaker 2: for this segment? Like is there a jingle? Is there?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 2: How are we introducing the sure so jingle is in

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Speaker 2: the works. I'm thinking of calling it broke Tips bex

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Speaker 2: broke tip, bex broke tips BBT BBT if there is

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Speaker 2: anyone listening who has a really really good broke tip.

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Speaker 2: Sounds similar to a money win, but it is not.

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Speaker 2: It is In fact, it's not a money win. It's

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Speaker 2: just a really good broke tip. Really good broke tip.

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Speaker 4: So you had two dollars to last year a month

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Speaker 4: and you made a work let me know, send it

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Speaker 4: to either myself bechsyed on Instagram or she's on the

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Speaker 4: money at us. And in the spirit of brokeness, if

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Speaker 4: you want to make me a jingle because I'm obviously

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Speaker 4: broke to having zero budget, send it to me. You

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Speaker 4: can send it me on Instagram at bechsayed that's BC

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Speaker 4: s y Ed. I would love to use that jingle

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Speaker 4: if you.

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Speaker 2: Want to your own jingle. Yeah, okay, like I have

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Speaker 2: a production team. You don't want to use them? No, no,

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Speaker 2: you're not kidding to use them. It would be way

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Speaker 2: better if it came from the community. It'd be nice.

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Speaker 2: It was amazing. So we're going to do bex Broke

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Speaker 2: Tips or BBT every single week. Beck, are you going

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Speaker 2: to kick us off with like a pearler? Like, is

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Speaker 2: there something that you're going to tell us that's a

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Speaker 2: good broke tip? Or you're just like eating us nearly

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Speaker 2: it's coming, it's coming. Yeah, I'm just actually I'm going

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Speaker 2: to beat you guys till the end of time. And okay,

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Speaker 2: you any tips, but no, I do have a really

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Speaker 2: quick one. So this week I literally did have eight

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Speaker 2: dollars and fifty six cents to last the entire week

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Speaker 2: plus the weekend.

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Speaker 4: So what I did was I went to Woolies. You

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Speaker 4: can go to our you can go to Woolies, you

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Speaker 4: can go to cheaper by miles.

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Speaker 2: Why I didn't you go to Audi It's obviously the

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Speaker 2: more cost efficient option. This is why.

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Speaker 4: Because I was on foot, I couldn't buy petrol and

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Speaker 4: literally had on foot.

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Speaker 3: I'm on foot.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, closest place with a I'll allow it this time.

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Speaker 4: Okay, So a really cheap two dollar loaf of bread,

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Speaker 4: really cheap home brand butter or margarine, and a really

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Speaker 4: cheap home brand sort of vegimile or some sort of condiment.

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Speaker 4: You're not trying to be healthy this week, you're trying

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Speaker 4: to not die.

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Speaker 2: Oh that's a good tip.

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Speaker 4: You're trying to.

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Speaker 2: Be healthy, just don't die.

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Speaker 4: Yes, sorry, Unfortunately you're gonna have to throw all that

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Speaker 4: out of the window. I would love it frozen veggie

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Speaker 4: if I could, but I couldn't. They're expenditually lived off

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Speaker 4: of bread for the week. That's my broke tip of

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Speaker 4: the week. If you can't afford food, loaf of bread

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Speaker 4: will get you a long way.

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Speaker 2: That's true. How much is the cheapest loaf of bread?

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Speaker 2: Is it still like a dollars? Yeah? Well I think

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Speaker 2: I can't remember.

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Speaker 4: I think it was like a dollar fifty nine.

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Speaker 2: You see, that's a good deal. You could make toast

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Speaker 2: from that. You could make sandwiches from that. Elie, absolutely

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Speaker 2: good broke tip. Beck. I am hoping that the quality

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Speaker 2: of the broke tips does increase over time. If you

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Speaker 2: have a broke tip that you want to share with Beck,

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Speaker 2: slide into her DMS and you might find it on

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Speaker 2: the show. But now we are going to a really

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Speaker 2: quick break and we are going to be covering the

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Speaker 2: cost of getting your eggs frozen and splitting wedding costs

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Speaker 2: with your partner. Up next. Welcome back, everybody.

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Speaker 5: Let's listen to this week's money dilemma.

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Speaker 1: Hi.

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Speaker 2: There, have you got a money you just can't solve?

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Speaker 2: The She's on the Money team is here to help.

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Speaker 2: Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small,

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Speaker 2: to answer your most burning money, career and life questions.

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Speaker 2: To get involved, simply head to our website and leave

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Speaker 2: us a short voice recording and you might just find

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Speaker 2: yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen to

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Speaker 2: this week's money dilemma.

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Speaker 6: Hi, she's on the money. My money dilemma is I

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Speaker 6: am looking to get my eggs frozen next month, and

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Speaker 6: I'm wondering whether that would be better for me to

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Speaker 6: put the cost onto my credit card as I don't

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Speaker 6: currently have enough money saved at the moment, or if

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Speaker 6: I should take up the option that the provider has,

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Speaker 6: which is using zip pay, would I end up paying

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Speaker 6: more over zip pay or on my credit card? Thank you?

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Speaker 2: This is such a good conversation to be having because

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Speaker 2: I feel like so many people in our community, Jess,

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Speaker 2: like we've had this conversation before. Like, if I wasn't

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Speaker 2: in a position where I was actively talking about having kids,

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Speaker 2: I think I'd go down the root of egg freezing.

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Speaker 2: Have you guys done any research into it?

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Speaker 5: Not a lot, enough to know that it's expensive, because

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Speaker 5: I'm hurshling towards thirty and everyone knows the saying it's

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Speaker 5: downhill from there in terms of your egg health, not

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Speaker 5: everything else. But it makes you think about it because

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Speaker 5: I go, I always thought I wanted kids, and now

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Speaker 5: I'm like, I don't want kids right now, But then

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Speaker 5: you go, oh, but what if I do later on?

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Speaker 5: And yeah, all of a sudden things are really complicated.

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Speaker 2: You need to keep your options open.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, And I remember I haven't done anything like extensive research,

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Speaker 5: but I did enough curseory googling to be like, that's expensive.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it is so expensive. Beck, if you is this

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Speaker 2: something that you're interested in or something you're like, BEHM,

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Speaker 2: I think I'd consider it. But I guess.

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Speaker 4: I do have a friend that froz or eggs and

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Speaker 4: she said it was very expensive. So I just know realistically,

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Speaker 4: I'll probably never be able to afford it. But I

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Speaker 4: also don't mind too much whether I.

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Speaker 2: Do or do not have children. Yeah, that's fair. I'm

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Speaker 2: not too fussed. That's fair. So if we look into it,

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Speaker 2: it's an elective surgery, right, It's an elective process, which

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Speaker 2: means there are going to be lots of out of

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Speaker 2: pocket costs. The average cost for egg freezing is between

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Speaker 2: four and five thousand dollars for an initial cycle, before

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Speaker 2: medication and storage fees and a whole heap of other stuff.

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Speaker 2: And the thing about that is going into that process.

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Speaker 2: I think a lot of people assume that one round

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Speaker 2: will be enough. I actually have a few friends who

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Speaker 2: have gone through this process and they actually had to

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Speaker 2: do two or three rounds because what they didn't realize

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Speaker 2: is they had low egg count or like the quality

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Speaker 2: wasn't good and they needed to do it again. The

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Speaker 2: process is actually very very similar to an IVF process,

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Speaker 2: where you have the same drugs and you go through

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Speaker 2: the same process to kind of harvest an egg. And

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Speaker 2: if you're going through IVF, it would be fertilized and

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Speaker 2: you go down that route. But if you're going to

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Speaker 2: freeze your eggs, the process stops there and they freeze it. Right.

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Speaker 2: So between four and five thousand dollars, I think in

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Speaker 2: major cities it's closer to ten thousand dollars on average,

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Speaker 2: just from conversation and doing some research. But then there's

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Speaker 2: also storage fees. So storage fees could be between four

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Speaker 2: six eight hundred dollars a year depending on where and

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Speaker 2: when you're doing this. So it's really important to have

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Speaker 2: these conversations. So it makes sense that our friend who

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Speaker 2: has a money dilemma has written into us and is like,

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Speaker 2: how am I going to pay for this? Should I

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Speaker 2: be putting it on my credit card? Should I be

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Speaker 2: putting it on zip pay because it's such a big cost.

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Speaker 2: And the unfortunate part about this big cost, it's not

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Speaker 2: like a car from my perspective, where oh, Jess, Well,

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Speaker 2: if you want a new car, save up for it

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Speaker 2: because the longer you're saving, the lower your egg quality.

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Speaker 2: So the sooner you get this the better. If you've

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Speaker 2: decided it's for you, So should you be putting it

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Speaker 2: on your credit card? Ideally not? Should you be putting

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Speaker 2: it on zip pay. It's not the worst decision. As

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Speaker 2: I've said before, I'm not against by now paid later platforms.

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Speaker 2: I'm against them letting you get out of control. But

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Speaker 2: if that's a platform that enables you to have the

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Speaker 2: freedom that you desire with no interest chargeable, then that

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Speaker 2: might be a good payment plan option. Discussing payment plans

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Speaker 2: with your provider could also be really important. But what

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Speaker 2: you might not know is that under compassionate grounds, you

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Speaker 2: might be able to access your superanuation to pay for this.

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Speaker 2: And now a lot of you might go but the

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Speaker 2: I don't want to compromise my super. Yes, I get that.

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Speaker 2: I do not want you to compromise your super either,

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Speaker 2: But if we went and had a compassionate release of

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Speaker 2: superannuation to help fund IVF costs because you meet the

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Speaker 2: release criteria, which is very probable if you sit down

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Speaker 2: with your GP and have that conversation. Even a fertility

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Speaker 2: specialist would be able to help you with this because

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Speaker 2: they promise you, guys, it's not their first rodeo. But

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Speaker 2: what we're going to do is treat that like a

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Speaker 2: payment plan. We don't look at it and go all right, well,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to pull ten ground out of my super

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Speaker 2: hahaha and worse off. Absolutely not. But you've just given

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Speaker 2: me a credit card or zip pay. And what might

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Speaker 2: be better is if you then just sacrifice a bit

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Speaker 2: more SUPER and talk to your employer about, you know,

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Speaker 2: doing a couple of one hundred dollars in addition each

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Speaker 2: pay to get back up to that amount that you

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Speaker 2: had before, so you're not worse off, but you don't

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Speaker 2: have to rely on a different payment method. I think

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Speaker 2: a lot of people just all i'madically assume that early

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Speaker 2: super access isn't possible for egg freezing because they think, well,

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Speaker 2: it's not for IVF, like it's just like completely choice. No,

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Speaker 2: that's not the case at all. It is completely possible

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Speaker 2: to access super funds early For any type of fertility treatment,

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Speaker 2: you just need to have a good conversation with your doctor.

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Speaker 2: So given the circumstances, I don't have a lot of

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Speaker 2: other context I don't have a lot of other circumstances

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Speaker 2: to consider. But if you're saying my options are is

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Speaker 2: it pay or credit card? I would be saying, hey, Beck,

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Speaker 2: go down and see if the superranuation route might work

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Speaker 2: for you. I don't want to compromise your retirement at all.

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Speaker 2: I don't think that that's smart at all, because who knows.

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Speaker 2: You might be like Jess and freezing your eggs because

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Speaker 2: you just don't know if you want kids or not,

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Speaker 2: and you might not rely on it later. Who knows.

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Speaker 2: But if you're someone who wants the opportunity to do

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Speaker 2: that and you don't have immediate access to those funds,

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Speaker 2: maybe supranuation is a good idea. And I'm telling you

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Speaker 2: this right now, Beck, Jess, you pay super fees. You

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Speaker 2: pay super fees for a number of different reasons, but

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Speaker 2: one of them is for advice. Pick up the phone,

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Speaker 2: call your superfund. Hi, Australian super it's Jess. I would

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Speaker 2: like to know what it means to get early access

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Speaker 2: to my super under medical grounds. I want to understand

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Speaker 2: if I'm freezing my eggs, what's this? What are the

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Speaker 2: terms of release? Because there is going to be a

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Speaker 2: certain criteria that you need to meet.

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Speaker 1: I e.

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Speaker 2: They might say, okay, Jess, to do this, you need

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Speaker 2: two different doctors certificates saying the under compassionate grounds it

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Speaker 2: needs to be released. Great, fantastic. You now have a

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Speaker 2: plan that you can go to your GP and be like, hey,

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Speaker 2: spoke to my superfund. This is this is this is

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Speaker 2: I that makes sense. So it's going to put you

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Speaker 2: more in control. I promise you your superannuation fund is

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Speaker 2: going to know exactly how to do that and what

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Speaker 2: that means. Because some super funds might have different processes

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Speaker 2: than others, so you can't just rely on the government

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Speaker 2: website to go, oh the process is this? Because like

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Speaker 2: one super fund might have a different form that you

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Speaker 2: need to fill in. Another super fund might be trying

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Speaker 2: to be super compliant, needs you to get a secondary

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Speaker 2: doctor's certificate, while someone else doesn't call you super fun

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Speaker 2: and ask them for the advice that you are paying

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Speaker 2: for my friends, So from my perspective, that is exactly

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Speaker 2: what I would do. I think that's I hope comprehensive enough.

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Speaker 2: I'd avoid a credit card unless for some reason you're

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Speaker 2: able to pay that off within the interest free period,

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Speaker 2: which is usually twenty eight to thirty days, which I

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Speaker 2: really doubt is the case. Yeah, good advice? Is it

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Speaker 2: good advice? I don't know. I think it's just about education,

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Speaker 2: right like in Australia. It's kind of cool that we

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Speaker 2: can actually access that, but also we might have the

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Speaker 2: funds we just didn't know we did.

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Speaker 5: Maybe that's something we can look into for a FUGE episode.

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Speaker 2: I would love to deep dive more into how egg

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Speaker 2: freezing works, what it means, because there are just so

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Speaker 2: many people in our community who feel overwhelmed by it,

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Speaker 2: and it's not something that we openly talk about. I

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Speaker 2: feel like fertility has this umbrella over it where it's

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Speaker 2: still a little bit topicol to talk about it, but

435
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,600
Speaker 2: also a little bit shady, like I don't know. I

436
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:52,600
Speaker 2: think we need to break down those barriers because I

437
00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:56,199
Speaker 2: don't even know the actual process, like what happens I

438
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:58,480
Speaker 2: go to an initial consult and then what Yeah, I

439
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:00,199
Speaker 2: really want to know what that looks like, so that

440
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,840
Speaker 2: if I was in that position, I wouldn't feel overwhelmed

441
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:06,240
Speaker 2: going through it. Anyway, Let's move on to the next

442
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:08,600
Speaker 2: segment because I can't wait because we all know I

443
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:11,720
Speaker 2: am low key obsessed with wedding content, like my wedding

444
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,879
Speaker 2: wash November, and I saw I bring it up weekly.

445
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:15,920
Speaker 2: I'm like, remember the time I had a wedding? Yeah?

446
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,360
Speaker 2: Do you want to see more pictures?

447
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:17,680
Speaker 5: Yeah?

448
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:19,520
Speaker 2: Yeah? Do you know what we did at our wedding?

449
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:19,800
Speaker 5: Beck?

450
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:22,600
Speaker 2: Like, it's not even good content. Like, if you ask

451
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,399
Speaker 2: me about my wedding nine times out of ten, you

452
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,600
Speaker 2: know what I'm going to bring up? The chok tops

453
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:28,760
Speaker 2: at our after party.

454
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:29,800
Speaker 5: That was pretty elite.

455
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, we had chop tops at our after party,

456
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,879
Speaker 2: elite content and popcorn rap for bed stunning. Yeah, we

457
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:39,480
Speaker 2: had popcorn and chop tops. Is that not your teeth?

458
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:39,880
Speaker 1: Yeah?

459
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,400
Speaker 2: But also like, is that not a really cheap way

460
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:45,480
Speaker 2: of feeding a crowd? I Hey, you guys are getting

461
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:46,880
Speaker 2: popcorn as a midnight.

462
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:48,480
Speaker 5: SAT and I was loving every minute of it.

463
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:51,440
Speaker 2: Look, we're not mad, But this week's community dilemma spoke

464
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:53,640
Speaker 2: to me because I have some opinions and I think

465
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:56,840
Speaker 2: you guys will too, So let me read it to you. Hi, ladies,

466
00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:00,639
Speaker 2: love heart emoji. My partner and I are currently planning

467
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:03,600
Speaker 2: our wedding. We are paying for it ourselves. However, we

468
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,159
Speaker 2: have different ideas on the budget and I'm finding it

469
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:09,719
Speaker 2: really hard to navigate this. I've found my dream venue,

470
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:12,399
Speaker 2: and whilst my partner also likes it, he is an

471
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:14,840
Speaker 2: overly fussed about the venue and would be happy to

472
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,720
Speaker 2: have a more casual wedding, he believes the venue I

473
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,800
Speaker 2: want is too expensive and not worth the price. I've

474
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,360
Speaker 2: suggested spending more on the venue and less on other

475
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,520
Speaker 2: aspects of the wedding, but he won't budge. Regardless of

476
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:29,280
Speaker 2: cutting costs in other areas, he refuses to pay for

477
00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:32,560
Speaker 2: that venue. I really love this venue and no it

478
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:35,440
Speaker 2: would make me so happy to get married there. I'm

479
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:38,760
Speaker 2: considering contributing more of my own money towards this, and

480
00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:40,600
Speaker 2: then in brackets it says we are paying for this

481
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,240
Speaker 2: wedding out of our combined funds, But then I feel

482
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:46,000
Speaker 2: like it's unfair that I've contributed more. Do you think

483
00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:49,480
Speaker 2: weddings should be split evenly, especially when we have different

484
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 2: money values on the wedding. Any advice over to you, guys?

485
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:56,199
Speaker 2: I don't know.

486
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:01,560
Speaker 4: I a bit of a tricky one like it is.

487
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:03,879
Speaker 2: Did did she say how much the venue was? No,

488
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 2: she didn't say how much the venue was.

489
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,879
Speaker 4: No, So if we don't know how much is the

490
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:11,000
Speaker 4: venue cost, if it was like so out of their

491
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:16,600
Speaker 4: combined budget, then sure put in extra. But I mean,

492
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 4: I'm not the best person to ask about this one

493
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:19,399
Speaker 4: because I obviously.

494
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:22,600
Speaker 2: But you have your opinion is so valid. Oh, I think, like,

495
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,080
Speaker 2: I know that you keep saying like, oh, I don't know. Well,

496
00:22:25,119 --> 00:22:27,000
Speaker 2: just because you're not getting married doesn't mean you can't

497
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 2: have an opinion on that you're not getting married.

498
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,200
Speaker 4: But also, if I were to get married, it would

499
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:34,960
Speaker 4: be with a female, So I'm assuming a I guess

500
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:37,480
Speaker 4: in like A I can't assume, but it sounds like

501
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:40,280
Speaker 4: they're in a maybe a heterosexual Yeah.

502
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:43,879
Speaker 2: I'm assuming it's a relationship. Why does that make any difference?

503
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:45,560
Speaker 3: The reason why that.

504
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:47,560
Speaker 2: Makes a friend so confused? No, but this is what

505
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:47,960
Speaker 2: I'm thinking.

506
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:50,160
Speaker 4: The reason why it makes a difference is probably because

507
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:53,800
Speaker 4: maybe we assume that because men make more, they should

508
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:56,960
Speaker 4: be contributing more. But without that in mind, if we're

509
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 4: not thinking about that, it should be split equally. I

510
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:01,800
Speaker 4: would say, but if you do want something that's completely

511
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,040
Speaker 4: out of budget, then put in the extra.

512
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:08,080
Speaker 2: It's what I would say, Yeah, that's fair. So yeah, Jess,

513
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:09,200
Speaker 2: what are your thoughts on this.

514
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:10,879
Speaker 5: I kin't want you to go first because I think

515
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:12,000
Speaker 5: we're going to have different opinions.

516
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 2: We're going to have different opinions. Okay, So I think

517
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:19,800
Speaker 2: that everything in life is a compromise. When you're living

518
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:22,040
Speaker 2: your best single life, it is all about you, my friend,

519
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:25,280
Speaker 2: Like you are putting you first. If you have made

520
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:29,480
Speaker 2: the decision to be in a consensual adult relationship that

521
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,680
Speaker 2: you want to move forward for the rest of your

522
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:35,280
Speaker 2: lives so much so that you want this ceremony to

523
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:39,199
Speaker 2: legally bind you to one another. I would expect you

524
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:42,280
Speaker 2: to be on the same page financially. I am concerned

525
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,399
Speaker 2: when people say, oh, we're not on the same page

526
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,920
Speaker 2: when it comes to you know, money values in how

527
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:49,239
Speaker 2: this works, because I just go, well, what's it going

528
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:50,760
Speaker 2: to look like when you're buying a house, what's it

529
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 2: going to look like when you have kids. What's it

530
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:56,560
Speaker 2: going to look like when they can't see your values

531
00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:58,919
Speaker 2: in the same way that you do. I'm not saying

532
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:01,640
Speaker 2: that he should be spending more. I'm also not saying

533
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:03,879
Speaker 2: that you should adhere to the budget. What I'm saying

534
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:05,720
Speaker 2: is you should be on the same page about this.

535
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 2: And I am in a very privileged position where I

536
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:12,200
Speaker 2: have an incredibly supportive partner. And if I say, oh, babe,

537
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:15,520
Speaker 2: this is really important to me, he goes, You're really

538
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 2: important to me, So how do we make that happen?

539
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:22,359
Speaker 2: If that makes sense. So it's not necessarily about me

540
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,240
Speaker 2: going oh, well, it's really expensive and him going it's

541
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,800
Speaker 2: not worth it. If I have said, look, this is

542
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,000
Speaker 2: one of the things about our wedding when we sat

543
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:32,280
Speaker 2: down and did our non negotiables, this one's the one

544
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 2: that means the most to me. I know that Steve,

545
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,000
Speaker 2: my husband, would be like, all right, well, let's make

546
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,000
Speaker 2: it happen like for you, obviously within the realm of

547
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:43,080
Speaker 2: being reasonable. If it's completely unreasonable, he's going to be like, look,

548
00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:45,440
Speaker 2: we can't really do that. But I'm the same with him,

549
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:48,280
Speaker 2: like I'm obsessed that he has his own hobbies and

550
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:51,080
Speaker 2: loves doing those things. It would be really unfair of

551
00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:54,080
Speaker 2: me to say, oh, golf is such a waste of money.

552
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:56,400
Speaker 2: I don't know why he spends any money on that.

553
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,480
Speaker 2: That makes it well that's his values. Those are the

554
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:01,200
Speaker 2: things that he loves, and as a part of our

555
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:04,680
Speaker 2: you could say, family budget, we allocate to that because

556
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:06,879
Speaker 2: I know how important it is to him. So I

557
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,439
Speaker 2: think going back to regardless of what it costs, I

558
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,120
Speaker 2: would hope that by the time you're getting married, you're

559
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,919
Speaker 2: on the same page about we should spend this, we

560
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:17,199
Speaker 2: shouldn't spend this. This is where we are, and I

561
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:20,040
Speaker 2: think that it's a very big decision to make. I'm

562
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:22,359
Speaker 2: not saying, oh, you should get what you want, but

563
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:24,720
Speaker 2: there also should be some compromise from you might be

564
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:27,240
Speaker 2: your dream venue you wear my dream venue was jess

565
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 2: Lake Como in Italy stole my dream venue, you know,

566
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,040
Speaker 2: But like we're on the same page with that, right,

567
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:35,800
Speaker 2: Like that is the og Like if I could have

568
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:39,399
Speaker 2: had Alake Como wet, oh my gosh, the vibe, the

569
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:42,199
Speaker 2: vibes would be insane, right, But for us that just

570
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 2: wasn't feasible. It wasn't going to happen. And so the

571
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:47,919
Speaker 2: compromise of let's pretend for a hot second that that

572
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,959
Speaker 2: was the only venue I ever wanted to consider compromise

573
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,440
Speaker 2: means that you know, Steve and I could have made

574
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:55,960
Speaker 2: that happen, we obviously would have had a very different

575
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,439
Speaker 2: wedding to the wedding that we have. It might have

576
00:25:57,560 --> 00:25:59,199
Speaker 2: been a completely different guest least, it might have been

577
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:02,680
Speaker 2: a million different things. But when it comes to compromise,

578
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:04,560
Speaker 2: that just wasn't going to work out. So we kind

579
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:07,240
Speaker 2: of have to both compromise in a relationship. And I

580
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:09,840
Speaker 2: think that that's really important. So I guess from my perspective,

581
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:14,000
Speaker 2: i'd be asking not necessarily about the finances, I'd be

582
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,840
Speaker 2: asking about the value set, like did you actually sit

583
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:19,199
Speaker 2: down and say what are your non negotiables? Because I

584
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,359
Speaker 2: remember when I did this with my husband, he was

585
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 2: like own a big party so far out. I would

586
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 2: have been so happy to elope like I would have

587
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:29,200
Speaker 2: been happy with a really small lux affair. Don't get

588
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:31,720
Speaker 2: me wrong, don't regret my wedding for a second. I

589
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:34,560
Speaker 2: adored it. But a lot of the conversation that we

590
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:36,439
Speaker 2: had was about making sure he was happy and I

591
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:38,240
Speaker 2: was happy, and we're both getting out of the day

592
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:41,920
Speaker 2: what we wanted as a couple. I don't know how

593
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,800
Speaker 2: I feel about you contributing more. If it's your values,

594
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:48,399
Speaker 2: then maybe you can contribute more, But I don't in

595
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:51,120
Speaker 2: any way feel like if you say I really want

596
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:53,720
Speaker 2: to contribute more to get this item, that he should

597
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:55,639
Speaker 2: then have to do that too, if you had an

598
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:59,760
Speaker 2: agreed upon budget, Jessy, is that enough of me waffling

599
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:00,480
Speaker 2: for you?

600
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:00,640
Speaker 6: Go?

601
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:02,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've got my opinion.

602
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:05,119
Speaker 5: Yeah, well, I reason to say, is her not paying more?

603
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:08,280
Speaker 5: That is a compromise. My thought on it is this.

604
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:12,160
Speaker 5: If we flip the narrative and I use a stereotypical

605
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 5: example of this venue, right, let's say she wants to

606
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:16,720
Speaker 5: get rid on like current. If my partner said to me,

607
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 5: I want to get married at the MCG because I

608
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:20,679
Speaker 5: love football, and it's going to cost us twenty thousand dollars,

609
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 5: I'd be like, I'm not paying for that, like flat

610
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:27,480
Speaker 5: foot on the ground. Absolutely not, Like if that's something

611
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:30,239
Speaker 5: that you are so like, I love you, I support you,

612
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,119
Speaker 5: that's not for me. Do I want you to have

613
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:36,160
Speaker 5: what makes you happy? Absolutely, I'm not willing to foot

614
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:36,520
Speaker 5: that bill.

615
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 2: I want to understand though. Let's dive a little bit

616
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:43,040
Speaker 2: deeper into that. Let's hypothetically say that your football loving partner,

617
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:46,359
Speaker 2: which just as your partner even watch football, No, that's okay.

618
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:48,920
Speaker 2: Stereotyally exactly. Okay, all right, I was like, I really

619
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:53,119
Speaker 2: don't think this is company's a fives. So let's say

620
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 2: that the MCG costs twenty thousand dollars and then another

621
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 2: venue that you happen to like cost twenty thousand dollars.

622
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:01,359
Speaker 2: Are you saying that it's not really about the venue,

623
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:03,760
Speaker 2: it's about how you're allocating the funds in line with

624
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:07,360
Speaker 2: your personal values. Or are you saying that I assume

625
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:09,560
Speaker 2: that the MCG is going to be way more expensive

626
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:10,440
Speaker 2: than another venue.

627
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:12,640
Speaker 5: Yes, it's that. So I'm saying it's not so much

628
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:16,440
Speaker 5: about I like here versus there, it's I like here

629
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:20,800
Speaker 5: versus there, and within our budgetary constraints, it's putting in

630
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:22,640
Speaker 5: the same to use an example that might be.

631
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,400
Speaker 2: More relevant to me, get married at the MCG. No idea, man,

632
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:27,159
Speaker 2: you actually I don't know.

633
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 5: Oh, I don't think if you have enough money.

634
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:32,199
Speaker 2: Reducer reminds us that when you have enough money, you

635
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:34,040
Speaker 2: can do anything. So back to very true.

636
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:36,399
Speaker 5: Find the same strain of thought. If we had, you know,

637
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:38,240
Speaker 5: a wedding budget that we were adhering to, and I

638
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:41,680
Speaker 5: was like, I really want a fifteen thousand dollar wedding

639
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:44,479
Speaker 5: dress and that's half our wedding budget. I would not

640
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:47,800
Speaker 5: be expecting my partner to give up everything that he

641
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 5: also wants within that wedding one hundred percent so I

642
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 5: can have that fifteen thousand dollar dress. I feel like

643
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 5: in this scenario, potentially and obviously without knowing all the facts,

644
00:28:57,080 --> 00:29:00,240
Speaker 5: her paying or contributing more so that she can have

645
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:04,320
Speaker 5: exactly what she wants, that is a compromise. And that's

646
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 5: what you're saying, find a compromise. If that was the case,

647
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:08,840
Speaker 5: If I really wanted that fifteen thousand dollars rescient was

648
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:10,600
Speaker 5: in line with my values and I could afford it,

649
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:13,000
Speaker 5: that's the route that I would go down. Yeah, and

650
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:15,240
Speaker 5: I don't think that that is an example of them

651
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 5: necessarily entirely not being on the same page. You need

652
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:20,160
Speaker 5: to be able to come to a compromise that you're

653
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:21,760
Speaker 5: both happy with, and it sounds like as of yet

654
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:25,880
Speaker 5: they have not. But her making that financial contribution is

655
00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:29,720
Speaker 5: a compromise. That is an option, just as her deciding

656
00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 5: to choose a different venue or him deciding to give

657
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,400
Speaker 5: up something else within the wedding, those are all compromises

658
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:37,200
Speaker 5: that are options on the table. I really like that,

659
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:39,719
Speaker 5: but I think, if you are dead set on your guns,

660
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 5: I want this thing, and I'm assuming that this thing

661
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 5: is significantly more expensive, and that's why it's blowing out

662
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:47,720
Speaker 5: their budget. If you are not willing to compromise on

663
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 5: that thing, I don't think you should then expect them

664
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:51,520
Speaker 5: to have to give stuff up.

665
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 2: So you can have it. I agree, I think overlay,

666
00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 2: so I could not agree more with that. I agree

667
00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:59,000
Speaker 2: that's the compromise, you spend more. I think the comment

668
00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:01,479
Speaker 2: that's really sticking with me is and I'll quote it,

669
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 2: but then I feel like it's unfair that I've contributed more.

670
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:08,240
Speaker 2: I think it's that level of I feel like it's

671
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 2: a bit unfair that I would be, you know, engaging

672
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:13,800
Speaker 2: in this compromise. You don't have to engage in that compromise.

673
00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:16,600
Speaker 2: You could like just be within the budget, right, But

674
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 2: I think, you know, let's hypothetically say Steve and I

675
00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:21,160
Speaker 2: sat down and we'll use the expensive dress, like what

676
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,040
Speaker 2: was it, fifteen thousand dollars? If I wanted that, and

677
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 2: Steve goes, that's ridiculous. Yeah, I know that I would

678
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:29,680
Speaker 2: still want that, So I think that I would then go,

679
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:31,800
Speaker 2: all right, well, I'm just gonna buy that for myself,

680
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:34,000
Speaker 2: that's exactly what I would I think that's the circumstance.

681
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,640
Speaker 2: I don't think it's unfair that after you've set a

682
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:40,479
Speaker 2: particular budget that now you want something above and beyond,

683
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:42,720
Speaker 2: they also have to go above and beyond. I think

684
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:46,240
Speaker 2: that you did the negotiating, you did the compromise. This

685
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:50,120
Speaker 2: isn't something that's actually outside of the realm of possibility

686
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,520
Speaker 2: for your wedding. There's a few things that we could

687
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 2: do here. So first things first, you could talk to

688
00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:57,720
Speaker 2: your partner about being like, is it unfair that I'm

689
00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:00,760
Speaker 2: contributing more for my dream wedding venue. I can almost

690
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:02,800
Speaker 2: guarantee that your partner would be like, no, because I

691
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:04,720
Speaker 2: don't see any value in it. And if you want it,

692
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:06,280
Speaker 2: you can pay for it, and I'm happy for you

693
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,640
Speaker 2: to do that, but like, I don't see any value yep.

694
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:11,560
Speaker 2: On the flip side, your partner could go, yeah, okay,

695
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:16,600
Speaker 2: I'll contribute more, but then where's the value exchanged for them?

696
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 2: Your partner could say, oh, I would love to, but like,

697
00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:22,600
Speaker 2: this budget is already a lot. Maybe we need to

698
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:24,440
Speaker 2: push out the timeframe of the wedding so that the

699
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:27,920
Speaker 2: wedding budget can increase to meet the expectations that you

700
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:31,440
Speaker 2: have for this wedding day. But we also aren't under

701
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:34,480
Speaker 2: a lot of financial pressure for that to happen. Or

702
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:36,720
Speaker 2: we could just talk about well where could we cut

703
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:39,640
Speaker 2: back in other areas? And while they've mentioned in this

704
00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:43,080
Speaker 2: message to us, you know he didn't want to do that.

705
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 2: I think we actually need to go back to the

706
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:47,800
Speaker 2: drawing board and wipe budget off completely and sit down

707
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:50,479
Speaker 2: and go back what are your no negotiables? Like why

708
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:53,800
Speaker 2: are we getting married? What's your dream day look like?

709
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:56,240
Speaker 2: And you might go a B and s what's the

710
00:31:56,280 --> 00:32:00,200
Speaker 2: most important thing to you on that day? Yeah, have

711
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:02,560
Speaker 2: that conversation first, because I feel like we all forget

712
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:02,959
Speaker 2: to have that.

713
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:03,520
Speaker 5: Yeah.

714
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 2: I I around swept up in it too, and I

715
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 2: had to kind of like reframe Steve and I back

716
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 2: to the start and I went hold on, hold on,

717
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 2: hold on, what do you actually want?

718
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:10,400
Speaker 5: Yeah?

719
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:12,320
Speaker 2: And that's when I was shocked. I was like, what

720
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:14,280
Speaker 2: do you mean you want a big soccer club party?

721
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:14,800
Speaker 6: What?

722
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:16,160
Speaker 2: That's not what I want?

723
00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 5: Yeah? And not everyone to be getting a level of

724
00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:20,360
Speaker 5: what they want, Like I'm not saying that he should

725
00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:22,440
Speaker 5: get exactly what she wants. And she should have to compromise,

726
00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:24,120
Speaker 5: or she should have to get exactly what he wants

727
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:26,200
Speaker 5: and he should have to compromise. There has to, as

728
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:29,360
Speaker 5: you said, be a quote unquote value exchange. You've got

729
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 5: to meet in the middle. So it's like, how do

730
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:34,720
Speaker 5: you do that within budget, within timeframe, within all of

731
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 5: these things. And if you're not willing to compromise, do

732
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:40,840
Speaker 5: you care enough to go above and beyond and put

733
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:42,520
Speaker 5: the money in yourself? Is where I kind of sit

734
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:44,200
Speaker 5: on it, and I think that that's reasonable.

735
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:46,240
Speaker 2: I agree. It goes back to a couple of weeks ago,

736
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 2: maybe even a couple of months ago. I don't even

737
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:49,880
Speaker 2: know if you guys remember this. We're talking about the

738
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:53,800
Speaker 2: concert tickets. Remember how two friends were negotiating about, like,

739
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:56,360
Speaker 2: let's call it Taylor Swift. They were going and the

740
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:58,920
Speaker 2: normal Taylor Swift tickets, let's say we're one hundred dollars,

741
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 2: but the really good sea it's we're one hundred and fifty.

742
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 2: And so the other friend wanted the expensive ones, and

743
00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:06,760
Speaker 2: we said, well, the compromise is your friend wants to

744
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:08,960
Speaker 2: go with you their budgets one hundred. If you want

745
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,040
Speaker 2: to do the one fifty ones, then you can either

746
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:13,040
Speaker 2: do that on your own, or you can pay to

747
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:14,960
Speaker 2: upgrade your friends. But your friend shouldn't have to go

748
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,680
Speaker 2: above and beyond. No, I think if that's super in

749
00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 2: line with your values, that is your cost to bear.

750
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 2: But at the same time, I really think we need

751
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:25,880
Speaker 2: to talk more about values than where this is sitting,

752
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:28,040
Speaker 2: because I just feel like there's a lot not on

753
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:30,160
Speaker 2: the table. And as much as he doesn't see the

754
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:32,720
Speaker 2: value in the venue, what value does he see?

755
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:32,840
Speaker 1: Like?

756
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:34,480
Speaker 2: What is he most excited about?

757
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, because you don't want to be going into a

758
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:38,880
Speaker 5: marriage with resentment either, and it's giving a tone of

759
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 5: resentment to me like that. It feels unfair.

760
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:42,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree to me.

761
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:44,960
Speaker 5: It's not even about the money. It's not even about

762
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:47,640
Speaker 5: who's spending more. It's about how you feel about these

763
00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 5: one hundred percent. It's probably something that you need to

764
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 5: talk about, regardless of stunning compromise you make.

765
00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:53,920
Speaker 2: That's exactly what I've been trying to get to with

766
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:58,120
Speaker 2: the last ten minutes of conversation. Sorry that she should

767
00:33:58,120 --> 00:34:01,360
Speaker 2: have just gone first. Yeah, absolutely, next time, next time

768
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:04,040
Speaker 2: we'll know. All right, Well, I think that is unfortunately,

769
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:06,760
Speaker 2: always have time for today, guys. I'm glad You've had

770
00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:09,319
Speaker 2: a good week, but now have a beautiful weekend. We'll

771
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:11,360
Speaker 2: see you bright nearly on Monday morning for a money

772
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:20,440
Speaker 2: darry do you then bye bye. The advice shared on

773
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:23,040
Speaker 2: She's on the Money is general in nature and does

774
00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:27,040
Speaker 2: not consider your individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists

775
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:30,359
Speaker 2: purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon

776
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:33,480
Speaker 2: to make an investment or financial decision. If you do

777
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:36,600
Speaker 2: choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS TMD

778
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:40,200
Speaker 2: and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.

779
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:44,480
Speaker 7: Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives

780
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:48,400
Speaker 7: of money. Sheper pty Ltd ABN three two one is

781
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:52,319
Speaker 7: six four nine two seven seven zero eight AFSL four

782
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 7: five one two eight nine.

783
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 2: You would be want