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Speaker 1: Quest. Yeah, welcome friends to the Christian O'Connell show podcast.

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Speaker 2: For two teenage daughters and starting to realize my wife

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Speaker 2: and I have the next couple of years, our weekends

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Speaker 2: are going to be very different, with them coming home late,

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Speaker 2: bringing friends back, and all kinds of states. And this

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Speaker 2: is why I found myself in an unusual place midnight Saturday.

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Speaker 2: You're constantly on patrol you know everything. Yeah, go stop,

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Speaker 2: why do you keep coming up? Beer? Just check in?

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Speaker 2: Everything's all right, you know, my wife, you won't keep

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Speaker 2: moaning about why the doors have been slammed up there.

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Speaker 2: You know, we're trying to sort of watch TV and

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Speaker 2: you're on hyper vigilance because at any moment shenanigans can happen.

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Speaker 2: And then shorn off midnight while my teenage daughters comes

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Speaker 2: down and goes, we want to just go for a walk,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, no, you're not leaving at midnight.

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Speaker 3: Wait, everybody's up at midnight first of all?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah, my wife's having a bath.

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Speaker 2: You can't go to sleep and you know there, oh yeah,

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Speaker 2: midnight bar, that's missus O'Connell. That is how we wrong.

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Speaker 4: Oh yes, because the prison guards have got to stay away, yes,

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Speaker 4: ice cold.

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Speaker 2: We can't sleep until they're asleep. Right, anything can happen,

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Speaker 2: And you're in charge of other people's kids as well,

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Speaker 2: And there's two separate sleepovers, and over an innocent midnight

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Speaker 2: walk straight away, right, my wife goes to from the bath.

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Speaker 2: From the bath, right, goes to me. You need to

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Speaker 2: follow them from a discreet distance. I promise you. These

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Speaker 2: were words, right, She said, you need you need to

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Speaker 2: follow them from a discreet distance. I was like, yes, yes,

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Speaker 2: your lady, would you like another.

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Speaker 3: Glass of port more grapes your bath.

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Speaker 2: And you will stay here in the bath, your lady.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I'll go out there.

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Speaker 2: As cannon fodder, Your highness, So if anyone attacks them,

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Speaker 2: I throw myself from them like a human ship. Have

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Speaker 2: you even tried to follow anyone?

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Speaker 3: You didn't really follow around the streets?

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Speaker 2: Well, they want to go to the oval, which is

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Speaker 2: what I mean it for where we live. But that's

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Speaker 2: dangerous at midnight. You don't know who's around. And there's

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Speaker 2: four teenage girls. So anyway they had out, I followed

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Speaker 2: to script it. Right, I'm narrowed. There's no one around, Okay,

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Speaker 2: teenage girls, strange middle aged.

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Speaker 1: Dudes up tree, following.

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Speaker 2: Them, following them into a park. But it's not and

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Speaker 2: I'm not I've never followed anyone for I don't know

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Speaker 2: what the protocol is. What do I do here? I

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Speaker 2: found some undergrowth and like the bush because you know

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Speaker 2: I want it. I need to be able to see

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Speaker 2: them because anything can happen. Right, I'm in the bush, right,

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Speaker 2: and I'm not trained in now to spy on anyone,

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Speaker 2: let alone my daughter and a cup of teenage mace. Right,

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Speaker 2: so I can't quite see them from the bush, So

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Speaker 2: I thought, obviously a rookie era. I've made a note

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Speaker 2: for next time. I get the old camera light out

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Speaker 2: and shine that. And of course if you're if you're

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Speaker 2: teenage girls, is midnight. Suddenly there's a rummajig in the

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Speaker 2: bush and a camera light comes on. Right, You're thinking

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Speaker 2: there's a perv in there and he's filming. Goes good, God,

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Speaker 2: Dad was right. So my daughter did what she should

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Speaker 2: always do in that situation. She calls her dad. There's

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Speaker 2: no one around the oval. You hear the phone go

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Speaker 2: off from the hedge and goes dad, Dad, can he

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Speaker 2: come over with this song on the hedge? And I

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Speaker 2: go it it's me. I hear them those She was pretty,

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Speaker 2: goes dad, and I go, yeah, why are you in there?

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Speaker 3: It's creepy.

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Speaker 2: We were about to call the police.

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Speaker 1: Why are you there?

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Speaker 2: Check? It's all right? Can you come home now? To

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Speaker 2: emerge from the hedge and walk back with him, I

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Speaker 2: could tell her friends were like looking at me, looking

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Speaker 2: at her, It's like, Jesus, what is going on? Your

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Speaker 2: mum's just having a bath. It's okay, everyone a bra.

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Speaker 1: You're listening to the Christian o'kyl's show podcast.

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Speaker 2: We had a couple of days off and so I

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Speaker 2: said to my wife to come here. I'm available. I

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Speaker 2: can be part of anything you need me to do

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Speaker 2: as a dad. She said, great, Actually there is something

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Speaker 2: I knew there. It was oh no, when I'm giving something,

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Speaker 2: it's always like some horrible mission that she has not

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Speaker 2: wanted to head online and it's sound like you want it.

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Speaker 2: You're around I superstar hero dad, Good God, deal with

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Speaker 2: this one.

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Speaker 4: That's why you have to. I always put my hand

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Speaker 4: up for chores. You volunteer for tribute for chores that

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Speaker 4: you know are easier. Oh, unpack a dishwasher, and then

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Speaker 4: you know that's.

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Speaker 2: A given that's a given, and so she goes, actually, Ruby,

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Speaker 2: this is our seventeen year old. Could you be in

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Speaker 2: charge of supervising her revision all week straight? When my

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Speaker 2: insides go a seventeen year old to then be in

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Speaker 2: charge of marshaling them to revise for six to eight

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Speaker 2: hours a day, I'm sorry, I have skills that is.

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Speaker 2: There aren't any parenting books to help me about that.

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Speaker 2: I went on to dr Google and this typed in

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Speaker 2: revision techniques to see there was any kind of new

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Speaker 2: TikTok or an app or anything like that. It is

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Speaker 2: that old school stuff that we used to have to do. Book.

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Speaker 2: Oh those do you remember the revision cards? Can you

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Speaker 2: test me?

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Speaker 4: Flash cards?

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Speaker 2: Right? So there's a lot of this test me and

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Speaker 2: she going, you must have done this with your dad?

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Speaker 2: Went never Once.

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Speaker 3: I saw it in films.

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Speaker 2: I think I had one of those movie dads. There

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Speaker 2: was no test me. He would go test your what

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Speaker 2: it's your it's your education. You saw I test yourself, son,

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Speaker 2: test me? And you're seeing those of those mind maps

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Speaker 2: right her bedroom. I actually can collect to office work pats.

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Speaker 2: You'll love this, buy a whole loading you a three

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Speaker 2: of flip chart paper she's got them stuck to wall.

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Speaker 2: There's ten. Honestly looks like some sort of serial killers

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Speaker 2: in that patroom. I'm like, maybe she is. She's like

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Speaker 2: a sleeper setting there. I don't know who. The windows

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Speaker 2: are all blacked out. It's the same thing Joe Barber

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Speaker 2: spin to sell Tenney's mind maps all this kind. She's

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Speaker 2: arising psychology, and so the first day she's really found,

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Speaker 2: I just show up like a supply teacher. Hey, shea's

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Speaker 2: what said? Your mom thought it would be a good idea?

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Speaker 2: Already I'm nervous, little bit cotton mouth opened the curtains.

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Speaker 2: Beautiful now out there, whole life ahead? Are you? Your

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Speaker 2: mom thought were gonna it was a revision in charge

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Speaker 2: of master. She's like, what this is? This is Worthn't

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Speaker 2: it possible? I said, he I've heard it going. How

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Speaker 2: much would it cost to put you to the revision

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Speaker 2: and then just tell you, mom, I've done it.

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Speaker 3: I'll put you on an Elie rate is unique?

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Speaker 2: Right now? What is it? She said? Right? Okay, what

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Speaker 2: are you going to be doing? I said, well, you know,

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Speaker 2: I think you need a structure. Okay, you know, so you.

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Speaker 4: Give somebody else the structure.

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Speaker 2: I'm sweating even talking about it. It took me two

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Speaker 2: hours to work out to put in color coding to

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Speaker 2: a Google calendar, right, because it worked out she was

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Speaker 2: going to do test exams in the morning and in

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Speaker 2: the afternoon note taking and testing from me, right, So

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Speaker 2: so well, let's have the morning session is different, so

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Speaker 2: let's have that a certain color. She went, Okay, I'm

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Speaker 2: like to you already two hours. This took. My wife said,

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Speaker 2: how's it going. She was like, dad, can't even work

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Speaker 2: a calendar. I was going, there, what's a nice friendly

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Speaker 2: color so it doesn't feel like too homeworking. Let's not

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Speaker 2: call it child, let's call it fun times nine till twelve,

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Speaker 2: fun times a certain color coding. And then I went.

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Speaker 2: Then she was like, well, when do I get down

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Speaker 2: somewhere at four o'clock every day? That's your time, all right,

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Speaker 2: so let's call that boyfriend time. So during the day

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Speaker 2: I would make various random raids, right with snacks and

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Speaker 2: stuff like that, offerings to the spinter cell. Right, and

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Speaker 2: I kept seeing our boyfriend right on. Soon I was going,

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Speaker 2: he's not until four o'clock. He's got his own color

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Speaker 2: coding as well. This system almost brought a me trying

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Speaker 2: to write for a seven day That's what I've been ideal.

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Speaker 4: Do you got any actual revision or is it just

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Speaker 4: the structure for what should be done?

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Speaker 2: We're running out of.

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Speaker 1: Time, Jackie The Christian O'Connell show podcast.

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Speaker 2: Do you know over the weekend, me and my family

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Speaker 2: as we head into our third year of living in

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Speaker 2: our Australia Maine a couple months timely three years have

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Speaker 2: been here. Another big milestone I walked into this weekend

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Speaker 2: that I had no idea what this part of life

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Speaker 2: is like. We don't have an equivalent in the UK.

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Speaker 2: Getting the dress for Ruby's formal next month.

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Speaker 3: Oh you don't have any type of formal or prom No?

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Speaker 2: Really, well, I think, do you that?

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Speaker 3: So you don't have a dance or anything?

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Speaker 2: No, not really like that. No, to us, it's always

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Speaker 2: seemed like an American thing, and then we came here

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Speaker 2: and you guys have got it as well. So Thursday

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Speaker 2: night was when she just changed my daughter. She was going,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, everyone's already got their dresses. They're posting

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Speaker 2: it that they're posting their dresses. People are commenting on

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Speaker 2: that I need to get the dress to post it.

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Speaker 2: I went, what's more portant getting the dress or getting

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Speaker 2: the dress and posting it? Posting it? I'm like, when

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Speaker 2: is it? And she's like that said March just only

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Speaker 2: in February we got ages to wherever that No, you

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Speaker 2: need to take me Saturday. I went, Saturday, I'm looking.

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Speaker 2: We're looking for dresses. So I had to take around

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Speaker 2: various shops. Honestly, it was like Cinderella finding the Golden dress.

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Speaker 2: To find this formal dress. It's a big deal, isn't

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Speaker 2: The pressure on girls? Absolute? Yeah, there is a lot

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Speaker 2: of pressure.

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Speaker 3: But you wait. Then there's all the appointments to hear,

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Speaker 3: the nails, the tanning, all the stuff, the limo.

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Speaker 2: So well, I've said, look, why don't you go with

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Speaker 2: your dad? Right? Andrewy said he's terrible, he hates going shop.

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Speaker 2: And went, no, no, I'm great for two hours. You'll get

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Speaker 2: me one hundred percent for two hours. After that, I

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Speaker 2: have to go home. I can't concentrate. Can you guys

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Speaker 2: shop for more than two hours?

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Speaker 3: Same thing?

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Speaker 4: I'd shop once a year for clothes two hours and

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Speaker 4: then I burnt out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I find that my blood sugar levels get low.

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Speaker 2: It's like a phone battery. At the end of my

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Speaker 2: energy goes down. I don't know. I think it's that

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Speaker 2: the lighting in clothes shops, ladies close shop, the lighting

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Speaker 2: in there, it does something to my DNA which just

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Speaker 2: reduces it. So I did two hours and then she went, no, no,

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Speaker 2: you can't go home. Now we need to get the

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Speaker 2: shoes to go with the dress. I went, that's next Saturday. Different,

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Speaker 2: so it's going to be like a Netflix kind of series.

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Speaker 1: Look, Christian O'Connell show podcast.

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Speaker 2: Wow, we yesterday evening a big blowout with the fourteen

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Speaker 2: year old Lois, and my wife had said, half an

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Speaker 2: hour before that, hey, I just need to her sister's

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Speaker 2: not very well at the moment. She's in hospital. She said,

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Speaker 2: I need to deal with my sister. So I'll give

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Speaker 2: you on the phone for an hour. Can you just

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Speaker 2: hold everything down? I went an hour, so it's easy.

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Speaker 3: Somebody's always got to be a gun, it really is.

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Speaker 2: With teenagers, is exactly like that. And I went, yeah,

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Speaker 2: of course that's easy. Half an hour all great on

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Speaker 2: my watch because I run a tight ship. Then the

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Speaker 2: fourteen year old goes, can you take me to the supermarket?

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Speaker 2: I'm like, why, now? No? With that, and that's always

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Speaker 2: the best one. It be is a dad. Don't even

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Speaker 2: let them follow up.

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Speaker 4: No, don't ask why?

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Speaker 2: Don't ask why? All right, because I just start to

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Speaker 2: run verbal logic around you. Next thing you know, you're

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Speaker 2: down there, and she went, I want to my hair dye,

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Speaker 2: And I went, you've just.

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Speaker 3: Died last week.

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Speaker 2: Yes, for the eleventh time. I made her say how

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Speaker 2: many times you dyed it? Eleven times in twelve months? Went,

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Speaker 2: it's very bad for your scalp. It's very bad for

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Speaker 2: your hair. All brittlen you is like, you won't thank me.

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Speaker 2: She goes, it's a human rights that I can do

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Speaker 2: what I want I want at the right time, not

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Speaker 2: about what color you want to do it now? Bright red? What? Why?

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Speaker 2: Why does the color color bother? It's got nothing to

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Speaker 2: do with you. It's a do with me. Makes me happy?

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Speaker 2: I went, red hair is going to make you happy?

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Speaker 2: And then and then she goes, right, that's it.

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Speaker 3: What's you doing.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to cycle down to myself right, and I'm

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Speaker 2: trying to keep everything down right. I don't please not now,

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Speaker 2: your mum's on the phone. I've only got twenty nine

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Speaker 2: minutes left of this watch. I went, I do this

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Speaker 2: thing right. She's she's going to the garrete. She's putting

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Speaker 2: on cycling. How I do this? You are not getting

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Speaker 2: on that bike right now. Both of us are out

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Speaker 2: wrestling with the handlebars. I'm still in front of it, right,

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Speaker 2: you know, like that ladder in Channelman Square.

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Speaker 3: With a big thing like that.

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Speaker 2: She's she's gonna run me over, right. It's like who's

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Speaker 2: gonna be first. I move out the way so that

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Speaker 2: she's gonna mow me down. I'm still getting over concussion.

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Speaker 2: It's gonna set my recovery. Then she goes, need you

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Speaker 2: open the garage door because she still doesn't know how

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Speaker 2: to open I'm not. You're not going on it. She

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Speaker 2: picks the bike up, carries it through the house, and

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Speaker 2: again she we're doing that thing you see only in

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Speaker 2: movies with a dad and a teenager. I'm going to

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Speaker 2: come back. She's getting on the bike. You are not

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Speaker 2: going to the supermarket, right. And then my wife goes

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Speaker 2: comes out from the bedroom right she I can see

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Speaker 2: she's been crying. I went everything, yeah, does everything right?

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Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, it's going from right al on the stead.

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Speaker 2: She goes, where's that was going? It's exercise. What's the clear?

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, do you know what am I gonna

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Speaker 2: do now? Getting the car? Right?

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Speaker 3: Luckily she's already gone.

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Speaker 2: She's gone. She's not getting hair dye. I've got one

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Speaker 2: of these you know, these find my phone things so

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Speaker 2: I can see where she is moving at speed? Right,

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Speaker 2: I now do that thing you see in movies where

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Speaker 2: I've got the phone on the.

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Speaker 3: Dashboard, searing me of the state.

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Speaker 2: I don't know chas in one week, we've gone too

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Speaker 2: far doing those j turns. And I'm trying around a block.

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Speaker 2: I know she's in the middle of a block, right,

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Speaker 2: I mean, where the where is she? Then I see

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Speaker 2: a kid's play part. Right, it's the saddest image. There's

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Speaker 2: a fourteen or girl on the swings. I'm like, oh God,

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Speaker 2: get out, and I go, right, what is this? Literally

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Speaker 2: her night for half an hour talking about hair dye?

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Speaker 2: And I'm going, does it mean this much to you

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Speaker 2: that we have? Is it a really important thing? And then,

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Speaker 2: because being her parents spoke compromise, I was looking watching it.

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Speaker 2: I just want to go home. Now. I'm hungry. I

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Speaker 2: even said that I'm hungry, which one of us is

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Speaker 2: the teenage I'm hungry. Now I can't even think about.

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Speaker 3: This anymore, and it's your human right to eat.

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Speaker 2: So I said, tell you what, you can't dye your

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Speaker 2: hair today. She went, right, well, one can, I went,

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Speaker 2: I think dying hair is a weekend thing.

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Speaker 3: You bought yourself four days.

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Speaker 2: So I said, you can't die on a school now. Okay,

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Speaker 2: not on a school now. It's a weekend thing. Then

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Speaker 2: you can do what you want with your hair. So

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Speaker 2: she's dying her hair red Saturday.

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Speaker 1: Well Christian no Connell's Show podcast