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Speaker 1: This is a Will and Woody podcast mini but when

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Speaker 1: you're in a rash woods and Rihanna broke.

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Speaker 2: She broke the Internet today, Rihanna on Monday Night, she

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Speaker 2: broke it.

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Speaker 1: Crashed it, smashed it. Imagine breaking the internet.

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Speaker 3: I'd love to do it one day.

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Speaker 1: Nothing you will. I hate to do that to you,

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Speaker 1: a good big Yeah, you have to do something outrageous.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm capable. No, you know, because Kim's to.

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Speaker 2: Like jump out of an aeroplane into a shark's mouth

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Speaker 2: and I'm open to that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So Rihanna broke the Internet today. She announced that she

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Speaker 2: was pregnant, copied me, jumped on the pregnancy train. She's

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Speaker 2: been hiding the bump for a month or two now.

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Speaker 2: She's with a guy called asap Rocky.

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Speaker 3: And he's a bit of a bad boys a.

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Speaker 2: Sup spent with a dollar sign instead of mess. You're

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Speaker 2: a pretty cool dude, ye a dollars app Rocky, who knows?

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Speaker 1: Who knows?

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Speaker 2: That's how I originally called him, anyway, Australian dollars ap Rocky.

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Speaker 2: That's how that's what I thought he was called for

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Speaker 2: a while. But anyway, look he's a hot man. He's

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Speaker 2: a cool man. And I really actually want to focus

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Speaker 2: on a sup if I can here, because and I

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Speaker 2: said before that he and I have something in common

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Speaker 2: and we don't have anything else in common apart from

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Speaker 2: the fact, apart from the fact that I have a

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Speaker 2: feeling and I really am generalizing here, but I have

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Speaker 2: a feeling that he will currently feel the same thing

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Speaker 2: that I feel towards my pregnant partner at the moment,

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Speaker 2: and that is disconnect.

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Speaker 3: Disconnect with your partner.

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Speaker 2: Well, maybe not so much her, as it is the

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Speaker 2: babe what's growing inside her. And I had luckily a

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Speaker 2: friend of mine caught me very early on this when

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Speaker 2: we first told him that you were pregnant, and he said,

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Speaker 2: don't get worried if you don't have any connection to

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Speaker 2: the baby until the baby's born. Yeah, because he was

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Speaker 2: like that naturally happens. They've got all these changes going on.

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Speaker 2: They can feel it kicking, you know, they feel it

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Speaker 2: spinning around, and it's the world for them. Whereas I'm

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Speaker 2: on the outside just looking at this thing. And the

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Speaker 2: most terrifying part about it is that I know, like,

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Speaker 2: you know, the biggest thing in my life is coming,

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Speaker 2: but I don't feel like I'm a part of it.

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Speaker 3: So are you Are you envious of the connection that

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Speaker 3: sem has.

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Speaker 4: A little bit?

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Speaker 2: Yeah. We actually watched this documentary, which I'd recommend anybody watches.

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Speaker 2: By the way, won an awarded CAHN. But it's an

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Speaker 2: Australian doco called Birthtime. It's a docco made by some

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Speaker 2: Ozzie women. And that was the first time I watched

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Speaker 2: something and I was like, Jesus Christ, we're having a

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Speaker 2: bloody baby and I'm not even I don't know, I've

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Speaker 2: been acting.

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Speaker 1: I've been like, oh, I'm so excited.

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Speaker 2: I am so the dissonance between me and my child

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Speaker 2: right now, I couldn't be couldn't be further away from it.

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Speaker 3: So what is birth Time following a dude trying to

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Speaker 3: get a connection with.

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Speaker 2: No But it was nice, but I think the jarring

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Speaker 2: thing for me in the Birthtime doc. I was watching

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Speaker 2: these women give birth and how present their partners were

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Speaker 2: in the birth. They were there supporting them all the

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Speaker 2: way through it, and they're talking about the partner's roll

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Speaker 2: and all this sort of stuff.

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Speaker 3: Are you still going to dj in the birth in sweat?

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Speaker 3: I know you want to.

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Speaker 1: Well, I might have cann that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Oh really, Yeah, that was sure you were thinking that,

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Speaker 2: but now bench that Yeah, and I'll put that behind good.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: No, no, I think that's wise.

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Speaker 2: But that's because I am starting to realize that, you know,

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Speaker 2: there's obviously this really big thing going on, and that

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Speaker 2: made me feel quite uh scared, sad that I'm not

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Speaker 2: connected to what's happening. And it's beautiful for Semi, and

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Speaker 2: it's great to see her. You know, she's absolutely glowing

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Speaker 2: at the moment. She looks amazing and she is really

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Speaker 2: genuinely getting excited about it and I but the problem

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Speaker 2: is I want to you know, when you know, like

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Speaker 2: someone near you're getting excited about something and you're both

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Speaker 2: going through it and you're like, shit, you're really excited

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Speaker 2: about that thing, and I wish I was, but I'm

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Speaker 2: just not.

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Speaker 3: So were you faking it at the start? And now

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Speaker 3: you've been more honest tob me?

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Speaker 2: No, I think initially I was excited, and then you

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Speaker 2: go through this period where you're like, I'm I'm having

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Speaker 2: a baby and I'm totally out of it. So we're

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Speaker 2: doing these hypno birthing course together, which I'm going to

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Speaker 2: go to all the classes and I go to the

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Speaker 2: appointments with the midwife and stuff. But I just feel

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Speaker 2: like a little bit of and at the end of

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Speaker 2: the day, she's birthing the thing. Yeah, I am an

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Speaker 2: ad on. Yeah, and that's fine.

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Speaker 3: You can't compare yourself to her totally, No.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely not.

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Speaker 2: I think it's more just scary than I am as

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Speaker 2: on the outside as I am knowing that I will

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Speaker 2: be its father, and you know, there's a lot of like.

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Speaker 1: Oh, don't worry when it's born, you know it'll be great. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I'm lying on a lot there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, lot of ground to cover once it pops out.

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Speaker 1: I reckon.

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Speaker 2: So look, I just wanted to throw the phone lines open.

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Speaker 2: If you can relate to me in Australian dollars ap rocky,

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Speaker 2: give us a call thirty one, six or five if well,

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Speaker 2: I'll throw it out both sides, like if your dad

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Speaker 2: or a dad to be and you had the same thing,

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Speaker 2: or you've got the same thing right now, yeah, or

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Speaker 2: if you if you're if you're a woman that's pregnant

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Speaker 2: now or obviously has had a baby and and your

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Speaker 2: d and your partner felt the same thing. Yeah, I

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Speaker 2: just felt totally And how'd you get there.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it'd be great to hear some solutions. I'm like,

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Speaker 5: how you combat at it? Yeah, to try and get

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Speaker 5: a connection between baby and fa.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because I'm doing a thing at the moment where

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm trying to sing to the baby every night.

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Speaker 3: Just give us a rendition.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely not no, no, no, little bit.

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Speaker 6: No.

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Speaker 1: I try and sing to the baby, talk to it.

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Speaker 3: What do you sing?

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Speaker 1: I sing a bit of Elvis, Oh Jesus Christ, and

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Speaker 1: I can feel it kicking.

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Speaker 3: Oh that's nice.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes that's nice. Rihanna is pregnant asap.

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Speaker 2: Rocky is the daddy and just really announced today, pretty

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Speaker 2: wild stuff walking down the streets of Harlem there, which

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Speaker 2: is where he's from.

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Speaker 1: Acep. Rocky and I don't share a lot in comment.

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Speaker 2: Say nothing fair to say to say, you never know.

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Speaker 2: He might he might be into a bit of meditation

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Speaker 2: or a or a would think so much.

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Speaker 1: Well, he might be. He might be, He might be

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Speaker 1: he might like a greer cheese on a Sunday.

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Speaker 2: Who knows. Anyway, what we do have in common is

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Speaker 2: that we're both going to be daddy's And I was

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Speaker 2: just saying that. Then the other the thing that I

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Speaker 2: think I have in common with a lot of dads

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Speaker 2: to be and certainly from talking to my mates, is

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Speaker 2: that they don't feel connected to the baby that's about

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Speaker 2: to be born. It's really hard because well, it's obviously

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Speaker 2: not as hard of what your partner's going through, because buddy, hell,

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Speaker 2: that looks tough, and I'm not trying to compare myself

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Speaker 2: to that. I really want to stress that. What I

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Speaker 2: am saying, though, is it's hard when you can see

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Speaker 2: how connected in this instance my partner sem is to

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Speaker 2: what's growing in her and and I wish, I.

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Speaker 1: You know, this is going to be the biggest thing

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Speaker 1: in my life as well.

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Speaker 2: I wish I could be connected to it. But I

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Speaker 2: feel quite guilty. I think that's what it is. I

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Speaker 2: feel really guilty that I'm not.

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Speaker 1: And everyone keeps telling me when when the baby's born,

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Speaker 1: don't worry, it'll all It'll all happen.

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Speaker 2: And our button Busha Joel, he's got two boys, were

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Speaker 2: just telling us that when the baby comes out, Nature's

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Speaker 2: got a way of fixing this disconnect because you it

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Speaker 2: looks like a miniature you.

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Speaker 7: An identical clone of you, shrunk down to a newborn baby.

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Speaker 7: And that happened to me both times with my boys.

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Speaker 7: You literally just look down and like, I'm looking at myself.

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Speaker 7: But that's strange because I'm a thirty four year old

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Speaker 7: man with a beard and little baby. I can see

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Speaker 7: that's me miniaturized.

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Speaker 5: So so my question though, to you guys, do in

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Speaker 5: the song there was is that your mind doing that

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Speaker 5: always looked more.

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Speaker 2: And it's because if the baby didn't look like the man,

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Speaker 2: often the man would kill the baby because he'd realized

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Speaker 2: it wasn't his.

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Speaker 3: So it was like an evolutionary thing. Obviously, that totally mind.

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Speaker 1: Let's go to tie On because a lot of men

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Speaker 1: would fear.

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Speaker 2: Exactly, he's going to have the biggest head in the world.

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Speaker 3: Justice.

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Speaker 2: There's an open po there for Ford Ranger if they

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Speaker 2: want to show up for Towing Power.

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Speaker 3: Let's go to.

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Speaker 1: Tie On thirty one six five. Let's talk about it.

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Speaker 2: Say you had the same feeling, same experience.

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Speaker 8: Mate, Yeah, I just want to say I'm a firstly

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Speaker 8: big fan of the show Boys. Yeah, I mean I

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Speaker 8: felt I felt the same way as you. You sort

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Speaker 8: of do feel a little bit disconnected, But I mean

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Speaker 8: you need to change your mind, so you need to

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Speaker 8: get in there. You need to talk to the belly.

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Speaker 8: You know, get in there, feel the kicking, be with

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Speaker 8: your partner as mine, and it definitely does change the

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Speaker 8: way you think, and you definitely do feel a lot

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Speaker 8: closer once doing that. And then when the baby is born,

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Speaker 8: it's it's an unreal feeling. You really can't explain, you know,

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Speaker 8: how you feel you need to Yeah, yeah, you need

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Speaker 8: to get involved with well, even if you don't and

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Speaker 8: the baby is born, you still do get that connection

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Speaker 8: once the baby's there. But yeah, in the lead up

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Speaker 8: to that, definitely get involved and you talk to it,

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Speaker 8: and you know, with your partner, it's.

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Speaker 2: Like it's like, what's the expression what you put in

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Speaker 2: you get out?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah that works in.

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Speaker 2: And pretty much literally what happened as well. Let's go

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Speaker 2: to Lydia.

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Speaker 1: I'm get lid Hi.

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Speaker 2: We're talking about daddy's having a disconnect with their unborn babies.

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Speaker 1: Talk to me your heart.

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Speaker 6: My Loveland would break out when the baby would move,

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Speaker 6: and it would really happen a lot when he'd be around.

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Speaker 6: So he found that weird and he always was surprised

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Speaker 6: how I can have so much love and feeling towards

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Speaker 6: the child already. So when she was gone, it was

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Speaker 6: a completely Did he burst into tears that connect straight away? Yeah?

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Speaker 5: So, but he didn't get it before it popped out,

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Speaker 5: Lydia saying that's the moment where he had a complete disconnect.

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Speaker 6: He was always like, I don't I don't understand why

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Speaker 6: I'm not feeling these feelings that you're feeling.

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Speaker 4: Will I be able to love this child as much

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Speaker 4: as you do? I have that closeness with him, like

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Speaker 4: I yes, yes.

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Speaker 1: Well you know what's funny with me, thanks, Lydia.

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Speaker 2: Funny with me is that I'm actually in this position

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Speaker 2: right now where I'm feeling like one of the reasons

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Speaker 2: I've got the wall up is because I'm not sure

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Speaker 2: that I I'm ready to love something that much.

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Speaker 1: Sure, that scares me.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, And then when you don't have that connection as well,

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Speaker 5: I'm sure that just heightens that fear.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but I don't love it now, Oh my god,

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Speaker 3: I'm not going to love it.

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to love it in the future.

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Speaker 6: Oh.

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Speaker 2: I know how vulnerable I'm going to be when I

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Speaker 2: start loving it that much. And then I just want

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Speaker 2: to put it in a glass box.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and bad idea, by the way, Just keep.

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Speaker 1: It, you know, like just above head height. We'll keep

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Speaker 1: it like a budgery gar, but we'll we can, you know.

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Speaker 3: Just keep it safe, really really extended this gag.

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Speaker 1: Have the word no, no, I'm being serious, then it's safe.

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Speaker 3: Child Services may listen to this show.

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Speaker 1: Let's go to David.

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Speaker 2: David, Hey, mate, you experienced a similar thing to me,

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Speaker 2: to disconnect with your unborn baby.

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Speaker 1: You couldn't connect with the child.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, similar, But following the birth, so I was fully connected.

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Speaker 4: I would read to Willow, I would speak to her

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Speaker 4: when she was in the womb, you know, like even

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Speaker 4: on our first scan when they're not even the size

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Speaker 4: of a sesame seed. Like I cried, like looking at

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Speaker 4: the heartbeat. Following the birth, and maybe a few weeks

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Speaker 4: following that, the connection that my wife's faith had and

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Speaker 4: I had was very different, and it was obvious that

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Speaker 4: I didn't have that immediate connection right, And so that's

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Speaker 4: when it was the challenge for me, and I had

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Speaker 4: to fight like little feelings of jealousy because to be honest,

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Speaker 4: that like she earned it, she did all the work,

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Speaker 4: she earned the super connection. But that's where it was

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Speaker 4: a challenge for me. So like like my two cents

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Speaker 4: throwing in is it's all about the mindset because personally,

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Speaker 4: I think following the birth is where the real challenge is.

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Speaker 4: But that's that was my experience.

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Speaker 2: So you're saying that after the child was but I've

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Speaker 2: spoken to other guys who had this as well, you

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Speaker 2: really struggled to connect with your child.

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Speaker 4: Well, it wasn't so much that I struggled to connect,

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Speaker 4: but I struggled with that I didn't have the connection

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Speaker 4: my wife had and that was obvious.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, ye, as well, you can't do that. That's another

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Speaker 5: reason why the baby actually needs the mother more super

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Speaker 5: interesting David.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so, David, basically I'm doomed after the birth as well.

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Speaker 4: I haven't done much at the beginning and I'm not

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Speaker 4: doing too much now. But it's all perspective because to

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Speaker 4: be honest, like you know, your your your wife, your girlfriend,

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Speaker 4: she is going to totally respect and appreciate anything and

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Speaker 4: everything you do. Just one piece of advice, please your ring,

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Speaker 4: any drawing take it off during labor. Your knuckles will

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Speaker 4: become crushed.

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Speaker 3: Better take your bling off.

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Speaker 7: Big.

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Speaker 3: There's a lot of more of the boys on the

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Speaker 3: full podcast.

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Speaker 1: Just scroll up.