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Speaker 1: I had a question for you before we got started

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Speaker 1: to please do you have a picture of your children

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Speaker 1: or child as your lock screen?

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Speaker 2: No, it's a photo of me and Laura Lucky.

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Speaker 1: Why there's nothing worse than finishing a wank locking your

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Speaker 1: phone and the first thing you see is those disappointed eyes.

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Speaker 2: Back daddy, Why? Welcome back to two Doting Dads. I

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Speaker 2: am Mattie Jay.

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Speaker 1: And I'm Ash.

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Speaker 2: This is a podcast all about parenting, the good, the bad,

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Speaker 2: and the relatable and as always, just going to breakfast

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Speaker 2: this podcast episode and say that if you are coming

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Speaker 2: for any type of advice.

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Speaker 1: Dear clear, you are in the wrong way.

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Speaker 2: Turn around, wrong way. GPS has gotten your last you

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Speaker 2: turn baby. But if you want to listen to two

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Speaker 2: dad's talk about how absolutely hellish parenting really is.

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Speaker 1: You've definitely come to the right and sit down and strap. Especially.

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Speaker 2: Hey, before we get started, Ash, we have to give

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Speaker 2: thanks to Lord and Savior keeping us afloat, putting food

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Speaker 2: on the table and getting my rent paid. Big thanks

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Speaker 2: to Then we've gone for.

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Speaker 1: Your rent on the studio that we're in.

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Speaker 2: We've gone for the original Yeah, the og we have

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Speaker 2: the first beer they released. Let me just.

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Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, that's the stuff, cheers.

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Speaker 2: My good friend.

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Speaker 1: Yes, oh yes.

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Speaker 2: Something I like about this beer ash is the fact

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Speaker 2: that it's zero carbs.

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Speaker 1: What's that supposed to mean? I'm directly at me, then zero.

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Speaker 2: I didn't mean to no, no, no. This is for

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Speaker 2: anyone who likes to drink beer and is, you know,

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Speaker 2: being a little bit more conscious. It's eighty seven. You

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Speaker 2: do look great, do you agree? Hey, for anyone who

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Speaker 2: is trying to watch the waistline but still wants a delicious,

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Speaker 2: crisp beer.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, it's only eighty one calories.

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Speaker 2: Isn't it? Eighty seven?

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Speaker 1: Eighty seven?

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Speaker 2: Sorry? Yeah, which is I guess if anyone doesn't need

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Speaker 2: any more encouragement to have more tins, monster, it's the tin.

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Speaker 2: Has anyone called you that before? If you had a

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Speaker 2: look at our Instagram, you may have seen me run

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Speaker 2: a little competition. We hit eleven thousand followers.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, big shout out to I didn't think that would

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Speaker 2: grow that many so quickly. But we were going to

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Speaker 2: do ten thousand followers and ten cases of better beer,

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Speaker 2: but then you guys ruined it.

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Speaker 1: By the time we've got a shit together, and by

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Speaker 1: the time this comes out. It might even be at twelve.

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Speaker 1: So look, if there's an extra case laying around its

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Speaker 1: home for it.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't have the same ring to it eleven for eleven,

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Speaker 2: but we gave away. We're giving away eleven cases of beer.

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Speaker 2: And I'm very excited to announce that the winner, Ash,

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Speaker 2: of my very first inaugural competition.

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Speaker 1: You just picked it without me.

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Speaker 2: Oh it's my friend, it's me, But without further ado,

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Speaker 2: the winner is Stacy Martin. Well done, my.

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Speaker 1: Friend, understanding, and you know what, low carb, no carb,

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Speaker 1: low calorie. Hey, summer's coming, delicious.

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Speaker 2: Eleven of the best headed your way right now.

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Speaker 1: Congratulations and thank you everyone that entered, thank you everyone

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Speaker 1: that tagged, and thank you everyone that's followed to get

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Speaker 1: us here. Maybe twenty twenty twenty cases.

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Speaker 2: I know it's going to be dangerous the more followers

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Speaker 2: we get, Like you've just won a hundred cases of

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Speaker 2: better beer, People like, oh God, putting better take them Ash.

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Speaker 2: I had my race on the weekend.

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Speaker 1: Yes I missed it. I'm sorry I couldn't come and watch, but.

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Speaker 2: It was very very early.

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Speaker 1: Also, I wouldn't want to come and watch because that

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Speaker 1: sounds fucking boring.

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Speaker 2: It was I mean, Laura for a second was like,

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Speaker 2: what time is it? Could I bring the kids? And

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Speaker 2: I was like it starts at six thirty road closures,

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Speaker 2: Like do you really? It was fucking freezing. Sydney is

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Speaker 2: Baltic right now, it's so cold. So no one came,

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Speaker 2: which was a good thing because you know the result, Ash.

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Speaker 2: But for those who are listening, loser, I lost.

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Speaker 1: I lost someone up trumps.

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Speaker 2: It was an awful race, so.

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Speaker 1: Bittersweet for me because I wanted to see you win,

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Speaker 1: but also I'm so fucking sick of this race, Like

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Speaker 1: I hate it when we both go to some sort

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Speaker 1: of I don't know anyway, if we stand next to

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Speaker 1: each other, it's very obvious who's working out and who's not.

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Speaker 2: We did that photo shoot back in the day in

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Speaker 2: our budget smugglers, and I was pumping out like eighty

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Speaker 2: kilometers a week.

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Speaker 1: At the time, I was doing negative eighty.

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Speaker 2: So with a tinny in hand and going just take the.

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Speaker 1: Photo and I just get it over anyway. So now

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Speaker 1: you can blow out like me like a normal dad.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh, actually there's another ten k on the twenty

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Speaker 2: third of July, which I may I've been bitten by

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Speaker 2: the running bug, and because I wanted to fucking crack

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Speaker 2: forty minutes. Really, I gave it a note.

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Speaker 1: It's just not an athletes podcast. It is dad Lee.

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Speaker 2: So this is Oh, actually I'll give it a two

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Speaker 2: week break, but then I'm going to come back on

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Speaker 2: the twenty third. But ten k's you just redlining the

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Speaker 2: whole way. My heart rate was at like one hundred

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Speaker 2: and eighty two after the third k.

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Speaker 1: That's crazy talk.

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Speaker 2: It was disgusting.

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Speaker 1: Look, I like to run too. I have a small

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Speaker 1: little running community online.

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Speaker 2: But what's yours scoring in the Legless is that I

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Speaker 2: might change it.

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Speaker 1: That actually sounds it's the Restless League because I run

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Speaker 1: a lot for my mental health because I'm mental, but

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Speaker 1: also I get restless legs when I try and sleep

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Speaker 1: unless I do like a decent amount of running. And

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Speaker 1: I thought, there's got to be people that do that

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Speaker 1: as well. Twitchy Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, as you already know.

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Speaker 1: But it's something very small.

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Speaker 2: So if I was say.

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Speaker 1: We wouldn't let you in because you harp on about

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Speaker 1: it too much. It's all about those people that want

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Speaker 1: to go undercover, just run for their mental health, get

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Speaker 1: out there, enjoy the fresh air, not brag about it

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Speaker 1: to everybody.

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Speaker 2: I'm not bragging about it.

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Speaker 1: Ash Oh, Laura rang me that, and she's like, he won't.

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Speaker 2: Stop talking about it. Is this an invite only club

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Speaker 2: or can you No?

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Speaker 1: No, anyone can join, can join a big deal?

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Speaker 2: Yes you can join me anyway, dads right now, what's

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Speaker 2: gonna happen. It is going to be influx of.

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Speaker 1: Dads all running the same page, like an eight minute case. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I got little legs. Okay, I've got trotters.

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Speaker 2: You've got great legs. They look perfect.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, you're lost, and you've got to get a tattoo.

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Speaker 2: How do have a turtle? Fucking nightmare? But so I

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Speaker 2: lost the rays.

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Speaker 1: Worse for him because he's just clean skin unless he

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Speaker 1: makes you get on your face. I need to get

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Speaker 1: this guy's numbers. I can be like, dude, just do it.

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Speaker 1: Get telling to get it on his face. He's getting that.

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Speaker 2: It's been a rough week because lost the race. At

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Speaker 2: the moment, Lola, she's in this weird phase. I don't

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Speaker 2: know if you remember, because Macey's not quite there yet.

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Speaker 2: Don't if Oscar did this. But she's trying to be

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Speaker 2: like so independent, and she has this saying that. She

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Speaker 2: always says a week, I do it.

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Speaker 1: I do its like a small Batalian lady.

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Speaker 2: I do And it's cute, but then at the same

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Speaker 2: time it's also really annoying because like having dinner time

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Speaker 2: eating pasta, She's like, I do it, and then it

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Speaker 2: just ends up the floor.

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Speaker 1: Did you have to say past and I just said Italian?

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Speaker 1: Was just cycle on a Nona.

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Speaker 2: She does kind of look like Laura is half Italian,

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Speaker 2: so it makes a lot of sense. But even when

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Speaker 2: it comes to like now she's potty training again. This

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Speaker 2: is very cute, but she wants me to sit down

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Speaker 2: and hold her hands when she goes to do number

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Speaker 2: two and it takes a long while, like we're not

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Speaker 2: just there for a minute or two. She's like her

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Speaker 2: dad when she goes.

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Speaker 1: It's not good for you to sit there that long.

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Speaker 1: It can't be good for your bows, is it not.

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Speaker 1: It's not good for your your piles.

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Speaker 2: I try and rush. I'm like, come on, push it out.

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Speaker 2: And even when it's she's like and she does like

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Speaker 2: a two round poo, So she does it first time

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Speaker 2: it's a solid size.

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Speaker 1: And then I'm the plug poo.

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Speaker 2: And then I'm there for ten minutes. And so what

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Speaker 2: I sometimes do now is I'm like, i'll be back

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Speaker 2: on one second, and I give her some privacy, and

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Speaker 2: I keep an ear out because she's like daddy white bottom,

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Speaker 2: white bottom. But she stops saying that now because she's

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Speaker 2: now I do it. And one time she was in

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Speaker 2: the toilet, I left her and I kind of got distracted,

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Speaker 2: and I thought, shit, it's been a little while. Wonder

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Speaker 2: if she's still in there. I wonder if she's still

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Speaker 2: in there.

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Speaker 1: She's falling in and.

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Speaker 2: I wish she had she had done this monster sized poo.

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Speaker 1: And pictures of your kids, you saw they are.

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Speaker 2: She's tried to it's a little potty that's you know,

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Speaker 2: it's not the toilet. It's just this little like plastic

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Speaker 2: scoopy scoopy thing, and she's tried to put that into

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Speaker 2: the toilet, and you know, she's so clumsy, and she's

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Speaker 2: just like there's shit everywhere. She's imagine a two year

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Speaker 2: old with like a little plastic bucket that's like full

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Speaker 2: to the brim of shit and piers and she's like

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Speaker 2: a little wobbling non her just on the floor. And

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Speaker 2: then she's just like looking at me, like I do it.

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Speaker 2: I did it. Oh, I mean it serves me right

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Speaker 2: for bloody leaving her in there?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, Look you can't. When they go quiet,

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Speaker 1: you're like, where are they?

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Speaker 2: Oh? Doing?

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Speaker 1: Like not quite whatsoever. So he's just like, I'm done. Well, look,

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Speaker 1: you've had a rough week obviously, I, on the other hand,

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Speaker 1: have been on holidays. And also, before I get into this,

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Speaker 1: when did a relaxing holiday become so fucking stressful when

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Speaker 1: you had kids? Two kids? I've got somehow we need

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Speaker 1: ten bags of clothes, porter coots?

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Speaker 2: Do you bring the classy? You bring the portercot with you?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Well where she got to sleep on the floor?

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Speaker 2: Why don't you just leave one at your mom's house.

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Speaker 1: Well, I'm not made of money, Matthew. You can't buy two.

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Speaker 2: Sorry. Car seat? Do you bring the car seat? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: One we took this time one.

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Speaker 2: Well, well you're traveling with the bags and the car set.

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Speaker 1: Don't get me fucking started. No, actually, get me started.

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Speaker 1: They fucking go. So anyway, two kids, ten bags. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: We had a seven am flight out of Sydney.

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Speaker 2: Was it the cheapest one or no?

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Speaker 1: We just wanted to get the hell out of here.

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Speaker 1: I don't you know, just.

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Speaker 2: His dad's man, you've got to be out the door.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, thankfully. We'll go in to my parents. We weren't

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Speaker 1: staying at my parents, but we're going to see my parents.

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Speaker 1: And like the quicker we get there are quick, I

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Speaker 1: can be like they're yours, you'd think anyway. So we're

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Speaker 1: up at four point thirty kids out of bed in

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Speaker 1: their jarmy's in the car and their army.

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Speaker 2: I did seem I saw on you.

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Speaker 1: He didn't get out of his army until after midday,

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Speaker 1: but him and April.

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Speaker 2: Did anyone say anything about because he.

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Speaker 1: Had like his Nike Air Force ones on as well.

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Speaker 1: So it was just like people were just like, fucking wish.

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Speaker 1: A couple of people were like, wish I could go

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Speaker 1: to the jums, Like no one's stopping your freak. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: in the car in their j armis to the airport

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Speaker 1: April's book, the parking, the furthest away from the terminal,

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Speaker 1: which I was like, like the P three or is

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Speaker 1: it three exactly? Yeah, mostly no Sydney Airport or any

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Speaker 1: airport if it's not P one, it's a waste of

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Speaker 1: fucking time. But P one's under construction at the moment.

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Speaker 2: Which makes it a little bit more stress. Yeah, but

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Speaker 2: it's also man, I've had many times where I've sat

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Speaker 2: there looking at P two P three. P two is closer,

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Speaker 2: more expensive, and you're like, do I spend the extra

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Speaker 2: fifty bucks for P two or do I save the

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Speaker 2: money and go P three. But it's an asshole of

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Speaker 2: a walk with the ten bags. I'm not drumming with

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Speaker 2: a portcot and a fucking car seat.

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Speaker 1: It was a fucking g up. So we pull into

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Speaker 1: the P three. There's no parking until like level fucking

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Speaker 1: eighty pretty much in the sky. I might as well

250
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Speaker 1: get on the airplane up it's taken off, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, all right, let's get this show on the road.

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Speaker 1: I'll go to the trolley bay, get one of those trolleys. Great,

253
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,400
Speaker 1: they're so good, those trolle except you've got to hold

254
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Speaker 1: the handle down to move them. If you let go

255
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,480
Speaker 1: of the handler stops abruptly and all your bags come off.

256
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Speaker 1: That's another fucking nightmare on its own. I've learned my

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Speaker 1: lesson with that. But go to get a trolley, some

258
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Speaker 1: dickhead has parked in front of the trolley base, so

259
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Speaker 1: I can't get a trolley. So here I am from

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Speaker 1: level seven. April's got the kids. I'm like, you take

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Speaker 1: these kids and you go, you go leave me here.

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Speaker 1: I'll deal with this marrying ten bags like one of

263
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:45,080
Speaker 1: those troops or movie like a spar like a sherpark

264
00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:49,640
Speaker 1: up and you picked you even like you're seeing with

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Speaker 1: the do if I had a donkey out of it.

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Speaker 3: I've got a backpack, I've got two shoulder bags, I've

267
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Speaker 3: got two suitcases, I've got a port and I've got

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Speaker 3: a car seat.

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Speaker 2: Jesus Christ.

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Speaker 1: And it's six o'clock in the morning. Anyway, we're late

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Speaker 1: for this flight.

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Speaker 2: And I mean like not to not to paint you

273
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Speaker 2: as someone who gets a little bit grumpy sometimes.

274
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Speaker 1: But you know I was grumpy. There's no doubt. I

275
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Speaker 1: haven't eaten, haven't had a coffee. Just we couldn't stop

276
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Speaker 1: because we're running behind, even though I thought we were

277
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Speaker 1: ahead of time. At what point did time catch up

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Speaker 1: to me? On that drive? There was no one on

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Speaker 1: the road anyway, So get there, Go to buy one

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Speaker 1: of those trolleys, because you've got to buy them now.

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Speaker 2: You don't have to tell this story if you don't

282
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Speaker 2: want to wash I feel like it's got to get

283
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Speaker 2: it off.

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Speaker 1: Please sorry continue, Okay, go to buy a trolley tap

285
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Speaker 1: my card cost me four dollars. Trolley wouldn't come out.

286
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Speaker 1: Then it cost me another four dollars. Trolley came out.

287
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Speaker 2: Oh shit.

288
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Speaker 1: Anyway, I'm in a fucking feral mood at this point

289
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,520
Speaker 1: on the plane with two kids. We're on the plane. Great,

290
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:58,200
Speaker 1: we were the last people on the plane and we're

291
00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:00,520
Speaker 1: bloody walking on the plane like people like carry out.

292
00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:02,120
Speaker 1: Does that not shitty parents?

293
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:05,080
Speaker 2: Does that not give you anxiety? Because right now everyone's

294
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:07,120
Speaker 2: always trying to cram in as much as they can

295
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:09,720
Speaker 2: on the plane. And when you got kids, you got

296
00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:12,560
Speaker 2: double the bag, so you got no space above your

297
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:14,920
Speaker 2: seat and your overhead locker. Like oh and there's nothing

298
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,600
Speaker 2: worse than having to put like one bag near seat

299
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Speaker 2: for the other.

300
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Speaker 1: Happened, Oh shit. And the thing is we were literally

301
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:23,720
Speaker 1: like in the middle of the plane, so it was

302
00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:25,680
Speaker 1: like either way we got on the front or the back.

303
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,120
Speaker 1: It was going to be a fifteen to twenty row

304
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:33,840
Speaker 1: hike with these kids and all these bags anyway, got there,

305
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,480
Speaker 1: got there in the end. And it's funny when you

306
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,400
Speaker 1: get on a holiday with your kids and you get

307
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Speaker 1: there and you just you're so happy that you've made

308
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Speaker 1: the destination without either losing a kid or purpose of

309
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:47,720
Speaker 1: leaving one behind. You just get shit faced as like

310
00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:50,800
Speaker 1: a celebration that we made it to the destination. That's

311
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,880
Speaker 1: pretty much what it was like. But I borrowed my

312
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,400
Speaker 1: mum's card. When we're up there, Yep, car full of

313
00:15:56,400 --> 00:16:03,040
Speaker 1: shit full of kids got a flat tire. And I'm like, fuck.

314
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Speaker 2: Your blood pressure, that's really rude.

315
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Speaker 3: You should not be taking holiday day.

316
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Speaker 1: I saw you was in the airport. I was like, no,

317
00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:17,040
Speaker 1: you can't. He saw a version of me that was

318
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:20,320
Speaker 1: not me anyway. So flat tire. First of all, I'm like,

319
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:21,800
Speaker 1: of course.

320
00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:23,480
Speaker 2: How did you know it was flat? Like was it

321
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:25,320
Speaker 2: like yeah.

322
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:28,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I was on rim.

323
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Speaker 2: For people like driving next to you being.

324
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Speaker 1: Like I think I was too angry to see anyone

325
00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:38,680
Speaker 1: else other than the destination anyway. So changed tire. That's

326
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:41,520
Speaker 1: a nightmare in itself. Change time covered in grease, fucking

327
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:45,760
Speaker 1: pain in the ass, and reorganize the kids back in

328
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:49,200
Speaker 1: the car and whatever. Blah blah blah. Got the spare tyron,

329
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:53,120
Speaker 1: that little yellow piece of shit, dinky bit tire that.

330
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:54,960
Speaker 2: You can only go sixty k on or fifty k.

331
00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:57,640
Speaker 1: It said eighty. I'm like, there's no way anyone's going

332
00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:02,920
Speaker 1: to eighty k's on that tires, driving that tires flat.

333
00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:09,240
Speaker 1: Oh shit, Oh my god, I'm just furious. I'm fucking

334
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:12,760
Speaker 1: swear and left, right and center. Anyway, my old man

335
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,440
Speaker 1: came and he's taken the tire to a tire place

336
00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:18,000
Speaker 1: to get repaired, come back with fix the tire. All good,

337
00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:19,959
Speaker 1: but all this time, and this is going to lead

338
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:21,800
Speaker 1: me into something else I want to talk about really quickly.

339
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:26,680
Speaker 1: I've just been swearing my head off and I get

340
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:29,480
Speaker 1: in the car. We're all sorted, ready to go to

341
00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:30,280
Speaker 1: the destination.

342
00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:32,520
Speaker 2: What happened?

343
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:38,200
Speaker 1: And I sat down and Oscar goes, fuck, that was ship. Anyway,

344
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,640
Speaker 1: That instantly reminded me of something else I wanted to about.

345
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,800
Speaker 2: You are such a bad and I.

346
00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:52,719
Speaker 1: Swear so much in front of them, so does April.

347
00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:56,280
Speaker 1: Those it was not all me, and this is what happened.

348
00:17:56,359 --> 00:17:58,639
Speaker 1: It reminded me of this time we went to Fiji

349
00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:03,760
Speaker 1: with the kids and April, of course, and we do

350
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:06,440
Speaker 1: swear in front of the kids a lot. We've tried

351
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:08,440
Speaker 1: to be better at it, because Oscar now points it out,

352
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,560
Speaker 1: so trying to be better. I'm just not used to

353
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:15,640
Speaker 1: having kids. I don't really know him that well. So

354
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:19,080
Speaker 1: we went to Fiji, right, and we're at this beautiful resort,

355
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,720
Speaker 1: all inclusive resort as it is over there, with the kids.

356
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,720
Speaker 1: And we're at the pool bar, which is like slash

357
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:27,160
Speaker 1: where all the parents take their kids, because why wouldn't

358
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:30,320
Speaker 1: you go to the pool bar the dream? So there's kids,

359
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:35,400
Speaker 1: it's packed everywhere. Oscar grabs a pool noodle noodle, puts

360
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,600
Speaker 1: it over his mouth, plants it up on side of

361
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:38,960
Speaker 1: the pool and just goes.

362
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:46,120
Speaker 2: Fucked sake, that's my boy.

363
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:53,639
Speaker 1: And I just looked at April, that's your anyway, that

364
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:57,399
Speaker 1: was my stress freehold. They just pick up me.

365
00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:59,080
Speaker 2: They latch onto swear words.

366
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:02,600
Speaker 1: I know because they know the velocity and tone that

367
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:05,000
Speaker 1: you say it in. I reckon if you were like.

368
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:09,320
Speaker 2: They're like sponge and you're like, oh, bubble gum, they'd be.

369
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,840
Speaker 1: Like, oh, they'd be like, oh bubblegum.

370
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:14,840
Speaker 2: My biggest fear is that I drop Marley off at

371
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:18,280
Speaker 2: daycare and she just starts dropping the F word.

372
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,960
Speaker 1: I don't mind. I don't care. Look, I don't really

373
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:23,800
Speaker 1: don't care if he starts saying fuck you to people,

374
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:26,720
Speaker 1: then I care. Yeah, it's different if he stubs his

375
00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,960
Speaker 1: tone says fuck, that's just a general reaction, and look,

376
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,720
Speaker 1: there'd be so many people out there and there listening

377
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:33,840
Speaker 1: going fu. My kids swear so much, and I know

378
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:37,399
Speaker 1: why because it's I couldn't be asked trying to manage

379
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:40,200
Speaker 1: my language. It's like when we're on the Today Show.

380
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:43,480
Speaker 1: Ape was like, just don't swear, which he didn't, and

381
00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:44,399
Speaker 1: I was like, fuck you.

382
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,600
Speaker 2: Do you know what I love most about Oscar though,

383
00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:51,280
Speaker 2: is that he used it in the right context.

384
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:53,840
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's all about context.

385
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:56,919
Speaker 2: Off the back of that being an absolute ordeal, he's like, Dad,

386
00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:01,320
Speaker 2: fuck shit fucked up. And You're like, I should be angry,

387
00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:12,199
Speaker 2: but good use of the word perfect. I wasn't going

388
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:15,399
Speaker 2: to tell the story Mash. It's one that's on the

389
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:20,240
Speaker 2: cusp of being too much. And whenever I'm unsure of

390
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:23,800
Speaker 2: a decision, my sounding board is always Laura and she'll

391
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:28,560
Speaker 2: point me in the right direction and makes But you

392
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,080
Speaker 2: know how annoying it is when you go to someone

393
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:32,440
Speaker 2: for advice and you want them to give you the answer.

394
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:35,000
Speaker 1: That you want, not what they actually Yeah, I.

395
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:36,359
Speaker 2: Went to Laura, and I told her the story and

396
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:37,040
Speaker 2: I was like.

397
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:39,159
Speaker 1: That's why I tell no one anything.

398
00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:43,800
Speaker 2: To make your second guess. And I was thinking, in Laura,

399
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:45,879
Speaker 2: is that is that too much hoping? She goes, no,

400
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:48,960
Speaker 2: it's fine, and she goes, it's quite crass.

401
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:52,200
Speaker 1: But you know what, actually even know what that word means.

402
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:52,800
Speaker 1: So let's go.

403
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,680
Speaker 2: I should have come to you for advice. So my

404
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,280
Speaker 2: mum is here at the moment you met her again this.

405
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,440
Speaker 1: Morning, lady, get out of the shower.

406
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, for anyone who's wondering why they.

407
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:08,639
Speaker 1: Know your mom's not but it's like, I shouldn't just

408
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:09,600
Speaker 1: see your mom in the shower.

409
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,919
Speaker 2: No, it's me. It's whatever we needed to make this

410
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,200
Speaker 2: relationship even stronger. The fact that you're now sleeping.

411
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,000
Speaker 1: With my mum, you start calling me daddy.

412
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:18,440
Speaker 2: Did not expect this to happen.

413
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:19,840
Speaker 1: Actually, I don't want to be called daddy, want to

414
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:20,240
Speaker 1: be called.

415
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:25,159
Speaker 2: Papa, Papa, Papa. God, it'd be fucking awkward if you

416
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,240
Speaker 2: ended up poking up my mum.

417
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:31,719
Speaker 1: But be careful what you so.

418
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:34,800
Speaker 2: My mom is here, Laura. I've said it before Dancing

419
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,800
Speaker 2: with the Stars. She's in the thick of it. She's

420
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,920
Speaker 2: working her butt off, and it's been such an enormous

421
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:43,800
Speaker 2: help having my mom here. She leaves in a couple

422
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:46,560
Speaker 2: of days, which is very distressing, but during the day

423
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,520
Speaker 2: she'll cook a couple of meals, she does the washing,

424
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:52,879
Speaker 2: she does a quick cleanup. It's just the absolute dream

425
00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:55,280
Speaker 2: as a parent. There's nothing more that you could ask

426
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:58,600
Speaker 2: for to have someone do those awful jobs. There's tedious jobs.

427
00:21:58,960 --> 00:21:59,960
Speaker 1: Give her all the shit work.

428
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:04,440
Speaker 2: I'm not ordering her to do this work. She just mums,

429
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:07,880
Speaker 2: raised five kids. She gets it. She comes in, don't

430
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:09,919
Speaker 2: have to give it any instruction. She just gets straight

431
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:14,080
Speaker 2: into it, knuckles down, love it. Although we've had one

432
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:23,200
Speaker 2: issue so ash. No, Laura and I we had.

433
00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:28,880
Speaker 1: You've been fucking.

434
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 2: We had where this is going.

435
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:33,120
Speaker 1: We had sexy time, some action.

436
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:37,640
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, come on, come on, let's not go. Let's

437
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:38,320
Speaker 2: not go yet.

438
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:41,560
Speaker 1: I'm better than that. You are better than that.

439
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:45,040
Speaker 2: I'm glad you acknowledged it. Sorry, don't you dare take

440
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:47,720
Speaker 2: my mother's name and rub it through the mud. So

441
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:52,959
Speaker 2: Laura and I we had, as you call the horizontal tango.

442
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,040
Speaker 1: You did dancing with this duff.

443
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:59,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, let me teach you a thing or two. And

444
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:02,720
Speaker 2: to clean up the mess. Afterwards, we use a towel,

445
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:04,119
Speaker 2: a full towel.

446
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:07,240
Speaker 1: Well sometimes because it's sort of messy. You're making well,

447
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:08,640
Speaker 1: the thing is, I don't want to.

448
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:13,840
Speaker 2: Know the thing thing is because our house is quite damp,

449
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:16,560
Speaker 2: so the towels don't really dry. So when the towel's

450
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:18,400
Speaker 2: like on its way out and it's due to go.

451
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 1: In the wash, these r dicking balls on it.

452
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,879
Speaker 2: For one of a better phrase. Yeah, and also because

453
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:30,280
Speaker 2: to clean up. You get what I'm saying. The bath

454
00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:32,960
Speaker 2: tower was used to clean up the mess. And then

455
00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:36,440
Speaker 2: late at night. You know, I don't want to walk

456
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,879
Speaker 2: naked all the way then to the bathroom where the

457
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 2: laundry is. So I've got the en suite in my bedroom.

458
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:43,880
Speaker 2: I'll just drop the towel on the floor and I'll

459
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:49,640
Speaker 2: deal with that tomorrow, right, So then I forget about it.

460
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 2: The next day I wake up, you know, I'm a

461
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 2: busy guy, ash I get straight inedo work, forget about

462
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:55,280
Speaker 2: the towel and.

463
00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:59,440
Speaker 1: That I don't want to actually go.

464
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 2: That night, I'm brushing my teeth as I normally do

465
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 2: before I go to bed, and I then turn around

466
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 2: to wipe my face to get rid of the water.

467
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:12,440
Speaker 2: And you know I've got a bit of toothpaste my mouth.

468
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,000
Speaker 2: So I grab the towel that's hung up in the

469
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:18,199
Speaker 2: bathroom in my en suite. I didn't wipe my face

470
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:20,800
Speaker 2: and more specifically like my mouth.

471
00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:26,720
Speaker 1: That would took a completely different turn than I thought

472
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:27,320
Speaker 1: was going to go.

473
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,800
Speaker 2: And I think to myself, that's a.

474
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:31,560
Speaker 1: Work, that's a funky town.

475
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,159
Speaker 2: That is a weird towel.

476
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,120
Speaker 1: You do have dirty in your back.

477
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:43,639
Speaker 2: And I realize I've used that dirty. I mused the

478
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 2: calmtaw to wipe my face. And do you know what, Ash,

479
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 2: I don't know what wo come Ash. As always, we've

480
00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:01,639
Speaker 2: had a few listen questions come through that we always

481
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:02,840
Speaker 2: try and tackle each week.

482
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,960
Speaker 1: Love it lay it on me? Do you I want

483
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,359
Speaker 1: some shitty advice laid on me?

484
00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 2: I never thought when I became a dad that I

485
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:14,480
Speaker 2: would end up having a podcast where I would try

486
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,880
Speaker 2: and help the good parents of Australia.

487
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,520
Speaker 1: It's not help that we're providing. I get that word

488
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:22,000
Speaker 1: out of there. It is not help.

489
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:27,800
Speaker 2: Question number one. It is nothing but pure dribble. Question

490
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:33,199
Speaker 2: number one, Ashton, Yes, do you as a dad judge

491
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 2: other dads?

492
00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:37,359
Speaker 1: Absolutely? I do see that I didn't even just point

493
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 1: blank shit.

494
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, you didn't even look. No, look I don't try

495
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:44,280
Speaker 2: and go crawling back, you asshole.

496
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:46,440
Speaker 1: Subconsciously don't and do.

497
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:48,600
Speaker 2: You absolute prick of a blome.

498
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:51,879
Speaker 1: You tell yourself that you don't. Yes, But there's also

499
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:54,280
Speaker 1: a piece of you that you see a dad struggling

500
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,160
Speaker 1: with their kid, whatever the circumstances, and you're like, oh,

501
00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 1: I feel sorry for But at the same time, I'm

502
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 1: like sucked in mother. So like this trip, for example,

503
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:07,520
Speaker 1: get on the plane, your eye secretly and just hoping

504
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:10,640
Speaker 1: for a worse behave kid, Okay, so I can look

505
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:12,879
Speaker 1: at that dad and be like, you don't know how

506
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:13,680
Speaker 1: to fucking do it?

507
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:16,360
Speaker 2: You know, was there one on there?

508
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:21,600
Speaker 1: No, that was my kids. We're looking at me. You're

509
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 1: the shittest bro, and you look I think, yes we do,

510
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:30,879
Speaker 1: but we judge different things, Like I'm more like face

511
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:34,719
Speaker 1: value judging, not their parenting style or stuff like that.

512
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:37,120
Speaker 1: So I'm like, where the funk would you wear that?

513
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:42,040
Speaker 1: Why would you dress a kid like that? You look

514
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:45,560
Speaker 1: at him, comb his hair, shit like that. You are

515
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:48,160
Speaker 1: so sassy bit.

516
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,320
Speaker 2: Coming from the guy puts his kid in pajamas.

517
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:56,680
Speaker 1: I know that's what I'm saying I was that dad. Okay,

518
00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:59,720
Speaker 1: in the world like you go in the world of surfing,

519
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:03,199
Speaker 1: for example, it's a really good example. They call it

520
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 1: a kook. But it's not about what you do in

521
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:08,560
Speaker 1: the water. It's what you do in and around the water, Okay,

522
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:11,440
Speaker 1: what you do outside of the water. So it's kind

523
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:15,040
Speaker 1: of like if me dressing my kids in pajamas, there's

524
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:17,439
Speaker 1: two types of people that would view that. One is

525
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:20,520
Speaker 1: just like, that's fucking genius because it's cold, it's still

526
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:27,879
Speaker 1: need to find jump. Granted, Oscar was also wearing females pajamas. Okay, look,

527
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 1: I don't have any right to judge, so let's just

528
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:31,439
Speaker 1: move on after that.

529
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:34,119
Speaker 2: I think everyone does a little bit of judging, even

530
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 2: though I'm very much an advocate for we should never

531
00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:39,160
Speaker 2: judge other parents because we have no idea.

532
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:41,240
Speaker 1: What they're going through. But that's not what I'm judging.

533
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:43,280
Speaker 1: I'm judging face value.

534
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:45,920
Speaker 2: I judge on like if I'm at the park, and

535
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 2: there's definitely been scenarios where I've seen like a child

536
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 2: who wants nothing more than their parent to just like

537
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 2: play with them, run around the park, push them on

538
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:55,080
Speaker 2: the swing, and they're.

539
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:55,880
Speaker 1: Like that's boring.

540
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:58,399
Speaker 2: It is, it is. And you know what, though, do

541
00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:00,960
Speaker 2: you know what? I've had times the park where I'm like,

542
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:04,320
Speaker 2: Lola Marley, run free and have a time of your life.

543
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 1: Don't come back.

544
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,720
Speaker 2: And I'm like, you know, drinking my coffee on my phone.

545
00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,680
Speaker 2: I've done that, like I'm guilty of it. But there's

546
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:14,199
Speaker 2: been times where I'm in great form and I'm that

547
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 2: guy at the park He's.

548
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 1: Like, whoa, daddies.

549
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:20,639
Speaker 2: And Monstone's coming for you. And then I look over

550
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 2: at the other dads on their phone and I'm like,

551
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:23,200
Speaker 2: you're pieces of shit.

552
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:30,000
Speaker 1: But they're looking at you, going look at this fucking loser. Yes,

553
00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:33,119
Speaker 1: the answer is yes, you can't help it. And you

554
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:37,480
Speaker 1: know what, if I'm judging, I'm allowed to be judged, Matthew.

555
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 1: Question number two. Favorite song to sing when your kids

556
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 1: are having a tantrum?

557
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 2: H Do you do this?

558
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:46,840
Speaker 1: I've more or less done this when the kids were

559
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:49,680
Speaker 1: younger and just out of control in the car because

560
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:52,640
Speaker 1: they hated the car, not the tantrum. Throw a someng

561
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:55,720
Speaker 1: on and I was just like, I'm just gonna throw

562
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 1: something on to drown them out. But I wouldn't sing

563
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 1: like at the top of them.

564
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 2: Oh no, Like, hey, don't get me wrong, I'm not

565
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:06,080
Speaker 2: belting out tunes and public to try and distract my kids.

566
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:10,200
Speaker 2: I am singing yeah, I bet you fucking would. I

567
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:15,400
Speaker 2: bet you standing there being like, oh, he's wearing those shoes.

568
00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:20,840
Speaker 1: In the golden buzzerment. That's great, Welcome to Australia.

569
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 2: No talent. But at the moment, the most common tantrum

570
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 2: that I have on a regular basis is the fact

571
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:31,440
Speaker 2: that Lola hates being in the prem when we walk

572
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:35,400
Speaker 2: home from daycare. She hates it. I do it, Yeah,

573
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:38,400
Speaker 2: she literally says that. And You've got We've got so

574
00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:40,480
Speaker 2: many roads to cross, and it's so freaking busy, and

575
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:43,120
Speaker 2: I can't trust her because she's a maniac. So I've

576
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:46,560
Speaker 2: got a strap her in. She's losing it. Maley also

577
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:48,200
Speaker 2: wants to walk, she needs to sit on the scooter,

578
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:55,200
Speaker 2: And so then I start saying, oh, I start singing Lola, Lola, yes,

579
00:29:55,320 --> 00:30:01,520
Speaker 2: Dada eating cookies, no Dad, And it's it's a cocamelan song.

580
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:01,800
Speaker 1: Yeah.

581
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 2: And it doesn't matter how tan for me that she

582
00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:07,880
Speaker 2: is at that point in time. She'll always sing her

583
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 2: lines yeah, Like it doesn't.

584
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 1: Matter if she's like crack the code.

585
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:13,360
Speaker 2: Essentially, it's okay, I'll play the song right now, So

586
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:18,080
Speaker 2: in case anyone's not familiar, here's the song. Johnny Johnny.

587
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:26,600
Speaker 1: Eating sugar, selling lies, open your.

588
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:31,520
Speaker 2: Mouth and it works every time, works every time. And

589
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:33,720
Speaker 2: even Marley as well, she like can't help it. It's

590
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 2: just like I thought i'd never like hypnotized by.

591
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 1: Is it like a call and respond sort of situation.

592
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:41,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, so there's like in the song, there's like the

593
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:42,160
Speaker 2: parent and the child.

594
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:45,280
Speaker 1: This is great parenting advice. Hey, Cocamina, have to cut

595
00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 1: this bit out.

596
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:47,840
Speaker 2: Cocamelon is crack for kids.

597
00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:49,960
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, you put that as soon as you

598
00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:55,520
Speaker 1: hear the Also Missus Appleberry, missus apple Bottom.

599
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:58,080
Speaker 2: Yeah you I've seen you've posted about her.

600
00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 1: That's good stuff. Mate. There's dad's out there listening to this.

601
00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:09,200
Speaker 1: You know, there's dads out there listening to this going

602
00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 1: he is one hundred and fifty percent right.

603
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 2: It's cocon melon it's a kid's cartoon.

604
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,600
Speaker 1: I'm looking for the porn parody. But Apple Bottom, it

605
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:23,360
Speaker 1: is no, no enough, And I was not bad either.

606
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:26,040
Speaker 1: You are an animal animal today.

607
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 2: All right, we put a call out there. We had

608
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:28,720
Speaker 2: that little question.

609
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 1: Did put a call out there, what.

610
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:33,160
Speaker 2: Is your child stolen? We had lots of responses. One

611
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:33,880
Speaker 2: was a standout.

612
00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:36,440
Speaker 1: One was a standout, but I do want to There

613
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:41,360
Speaker 1: was a trend, a heavy trend on parents marching their

614
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:46,240
Speaker 1: kids back to whereever it is they stole something, from

615
00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 1: returning it and returning it.

616
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:49,680
Speaker 2: So honest, so honest.

617
00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:51,400
Speaker 1: But I guarantee the people the shop were like, we

618
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:53,480
Speaker 1: don't want the fucking half chewed mentals back.

619
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:55,600
Speaker 2: There was a lady who, like, I think their kid

620
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:58,360
Speaker 2: took a scooter and they surely realized when they were

621
00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 2: halfway home, and they still took it back nights.

622
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:01,760
Speaker 1: That's a free scooter.

623
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:03,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's play on.

624
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:04,200
Speaker 1: Let's play on that.

625
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 2: Do you read the story?

626
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:06,360
Speaker 1: You should?

627
00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:07,120
Speaker 2: I read the story.

628
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:07,800
Speaker 1: I'm no good at that.

629
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 2: Okay, So she says, daycare theft when the child's over

630
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:14,200
Speaker 2: three years old is next level. My now four year

631
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:18,600
Speaker 2: old son routinely whips out something and says, they said

632
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:24,120
Speaker 2: I could take it. Cars, arts and crafts, shit, other kids, drawings,

633
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 2: a pair of girls, poor patrol undies.

634
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:28,960
Speaker 1: Oh my god, teach.

635
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 2: This. He peaked. He peaked when I opened his bag

636
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:42,760
Speaker 2: and found two digital cameras, the ones they used to

637
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:45,880
Speaker 2: take pics of the kids and update the app. Needless

638
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 2: to say, I had to sneak those bad boys back

639
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:50,720
Speaker 2: the next day without making eye contact with any child

640
00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:53,960
Speaker 2: of staff members. Every afternoon is a lucky dip. They knew,

641
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 2: they knew one hundred.

642
00:32:56,880 --> 00:33:00,640
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, this kid got a criminal on your hand.

643
00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:02,960
Speaker 1: Lock that kid up right now.

644
00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:05,280
Speaker 2: Not just one, but two cameras.

645
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:08,600
Speaker 1: Two cameras. What was gonna do with those two cameras, Ravo. Look,

646
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 1: he could have just taken one, but he thought, you

647
00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 1: know what, I'm brady, I've taken two.

648
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:14,440
Speaker 2: I'm going all in.

649
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:18,360
Speaker 1: Also, the Shiites cameras, they have a kindie like you

650
00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:21,160
Speaker 1: get a photo of your kids. It's so fucking yeah,

651
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:28,560
Speaker 1: this is twenty this is twenty twenty three. Okay, take

652
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:32,000
Speaker 1: a picture on your iPhone with live field.

653
00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:33,600
Speaker 2: Hard says the influencer.

654
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:37,920
Speaker 1: Lives on. Use a ring light, Use a ring light.

655
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:41,360
Speaker 1: Poor girl's getting paid about sixteen dollars an hour to

656
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:42,160
Speaker 1: look after my kids.

657
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,640
Speaker 2: And you come and picking up busket being like, hey,

658
00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:48,440
Speaker 2: just shit quality, just a bit of advice, Rachel.

659
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:51,920
Speaker 1: And stop posting that my kid ate all their food.

660
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,360
Speaker 1: And then you post a blurry photo of them.

661
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:57,200
Speaker 2: Shout out to anyone who works in early education. Yeah.

662
00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:59,160
Speaker 1: Look, I could never do that job obviously.

663
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:02,200
Speaker 2: I don't try and come crawling back now, Ash, don't

664
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 2: try and redeem yourself. We all know how you feel

665
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:11,600
Speaker 2: about people. We gotta get out of here.

666
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 1: We do have to thank you, guys, appreciate this.

667
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:15,680
Speaker 2: This is the episode. I just want to say one

668
00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:19,160
Speaker 2: thing we have had. You're on the responsibility of replying

669
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:22,840
Speaker 2: to people who message us on the Instagram. Ash loves it. Don't.

670
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:26,600
Speaker 2: If you want to speak to Ash, the best way

671
00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:28,759
Speaker 2: is to write to us on our Instagram at two

672
00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:33,040
Speaker 2: doting dads. But also, whilst it's great to have those messages,

673
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:37,280
Speaker 2: they're dead to me because they're not public. They're private

674
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:41,120
Speaker 2: the dms, no one else has seen it. Leave a review, yeah,

675
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:46,400
Speaker 2: make the message in Apple podcasts. Yeah that not a message,

676
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:48,800
Speaker 2: But write a review. If you're thinking about sending a DM,

677
00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:51,719
Speaker 2: stop right there, put it on Apple podcasts. Make it

678
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:57,959
Speaker 2: public otherwise it means nothing. Otherwise, Park, we got to stop.

679
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:01,000
Speaker 2: You got to stop drinking beer some records because you're

680
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:02,560
Speaker 2: getting very angry.

681
00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:06,279
Speaker 1: No, no, no, look I love it. I love it

682
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:08,279
Speaker 1: when you comment because it's weight. Then I don't have

683
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:10,759
Speaker 1: to go to the d ms. But no, do send

684
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:12,239
Speaker 1: us a dem if you want to send me a DM.

685
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:14,359
Speaker 1: I have been trying to get to them.

686
00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:15,359
Speaker 2: You've done a great job.

687
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:17,919
Speaker 1: I went back three weeks last night and those listening

688
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:20,880
Speaker 1: me like I got the sorry message?

689
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:23,319
Speaker 2: Did people when you responded, do they right back?

690
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:26,359
Speaker 1: They're like, nice, try champ. Yeah, I got a lot

691
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:28,399
Speaker 1: of people. I've got a lot of nice messages. Yeah.

692
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 2: Keep the coming, Yeah, follow, subscribe, review, share the episodes

693
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:35,920
Speaker 2: with the friends. I love it. If you did until then.

694
00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:38,520
Speaker 1: That's us. See you later, see us