WEBVTT - ASK UNCUT SWITCHEROO - Answering your deep dark and burning questions 0:00:19.480 --> 0:00:22.400 Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life. 0:00:22.400 --> 0:00:25.920 I'm Cut and I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. Hi Brittany, Hi Laura. 0:00:26.200 --> 0:00:28.640 Look, you know what you've probably noticed by the title 0:00:28.640 --> 0:00:32.159 of this episode. Things kind of screwed me sideways this week, 0:00:32.200 --> 0:00:34.720 and we have swapped things up. We're doing a little 0:00:34.720 --> 0:00:37.840 switcher though. This is our ask guncut on a Tuesday, 0:00:38.080 --> 0:00:40.159 just to keep your guessing here we are. 0:00:40.400 --> 0:00:42.360 We've said this before, guys. We only do this when 0:00:42.360 --> 0:00:45.800 all hell breaks loose, and this week Laura was under 0:00:45.840 --> 0:00:46.200 the weather. 0:00:46.560 --> 0:00:48.279 Well I wasn't under the weather. But my kids are 0:00:48.280 --> 0:00:49.760 trying to kill me, like I think. 0:00:50.680 --> 0:00:53.840 I don't think they're trying to No, I'm sure they are. 0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:54.720 I'm pretty sure. 0:00:54.720 --> 0:00:57.120 When you have two under two, the only reason why 0:00:57.120 --> 0:00:58.600 you do that is because they're trying to kill you. 0:00:59.000 --> 0:00:59.920 It's it. That's all. We're out. 0:01:00.240 --> 0:01:03.080 So look, parenting definitely got the better of me this week. 0:01:03.200 --> 0:01:05.160 It's certainly got the better of me today. I may 0:01:05.160 --> 0:01:06.639 cry on this podcast. That's okay. 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:07.960 We're all family here. 0:01:08.440 --> 0:01:10.920 But you know what it's like on our Thursday episode, 0:01:10.920 --> 0:01:13.240 which is today, and that is that we answer all 0:01:13.280 --> 0:01:16.560 of your deep, dark and burning questions and we do 0:01:16.640 --> 0:01:20.080 our best to give you our enthusiastic, very heartfelt, extremely 0:01:20.200 --> 0:01:23.240 unqualified yet filled with life experience advice. 0:01:23.760 --> 0:01:26.080 But before we do that, we're gonna nun a few 0:01:26.120 --> 0:01:26.600 things out. 0:01:26.880 --> 0:01:29.600 We've got some We've got some housekeeping to do, guys. Also, 0:01:30.360 --> 0:01:32.000 we went to a meetup yesterday. 0:01:33.000 --> 0:01:36.880 Yeah, we did. It was so fun. So you guys, 0:01:37.000 --> 0:01:38.959 most of you might know, some of you may not. 0:01:39.840 --> 0:01:42.640 The Life one Cup podcast has a Facebook group, and 0:01:42.680 --> 0:01:44.800 in that they have a meetup group. So we have 0:01:44.800 --> 0:01:47.199 a discussion group that you can join and all kinds 0:01:47.200 --> 0:01:49.840 of fancy stuff goes on there. But inside of that 0:01:49.840 --> 0:01:51.800 it's like a secret club. There are all these little 0:01:51.840 --> 0:01:55.520 meetup groups going on in different cities around Australia. Actually 0:01:55.560 --> 0:01:57.480 I think there's even some in the UK. It's pretty mental, 0:01:57.920 --> 0:01:59.960 but essentially you can join these groups and meet up, 0:02:00.040 --> 0:02:03.040 and people been meeting up for ages. So we decided 0:02:03.120 --> 0:02:07.080 to crash one in Bondi Sunday evening and we actually 0:02:07.160 --> 0:02:09.280 had the best time. I literally had to be dragged 0:02:09.280 --> 0:02:10.440 out of there to go to work. That was it. 0:02:10.480 --> 0:02:12.280 Otherwise I would to stay and party all night. I 0:02:12.320 --> 0:02:14.240 was getting loose. If you were watching my stories, I 0:02:14.320 --> 0:02:15.959 was spelling drinks all over the place. 0:02:16.160 --> 0:02:18.240 We don't organize these meetups, so if you guys have 0:02:18.280 --> 0:02:20.840 seen them before or if you've contemplated going to one, 0:02:21.160 --> 0:02:23.120 they're kind of like book club, but they're a little 0:02:23.160 --> 0:02:25.560 bit more litty and a little bit more fun. This 0:02:25.600 --> 0:02:28.359 one was organized was in Kuji, and there hasn't been 0:02:28.360 --> 0:02:31.480 an Eastern Suburbs one yet and we decided we should 0:02:31.520 --> 0:02:33.680 show up to the first Eastern Suburbs one and we 0:02:33.800 --> 0:02:36.000 surprised everyone and we were very happy that there was 0:02:36.040 --> 0:02:38.079 more than two people there, which there was. 0:02:38.040 --> 0:02:40.880 When we arrived. But it was honestly, it was honestly 0:02:40.919 --> 0:02:42.960 so much fun. And the best part about it was 0:02:43.400 --> 0:02:46.160 most of the people there they either came with a 0:02:46.240 --> 0:02:48.000 friend that are two of them, or half of them 0:02:48.040 --> 0:02:50.079 came alone. It was just people that want to meet 0:02:50.120 --> 0:02:52.239 new people, want to meet like minded people, want to 0:02:52.280 --> 0:02:53.920 go and have some fun, people that are new to 0:02:54.000 --> 0:02:56.720 the city, new to Bondi And I just think it 0:02:56.760 --> 0:03:00.240 makes my heart so warm to know that there are 0:03:00.240 --> 0:03:03.800 so many people making friends around Australia because of this podcast. 0:03:04.040 --> 0:03:05.840 Well, I think also the big thing as well, Guys, 0:03:05.840 --> 0:03:07.799 if you've contemplated going to one of these meetups or 0:03:07.840 --> 0:03:10.160 you want more information on them, obviously, jump onto the 0:03:10.160 --> 0:03:13.320 Life Uncut podcast group and then from there you can 0:03:13.320 --> 0:03:15.519 find the different meetups and stuff, and so there's quite 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:18.560 a few meetup pages that are happening. But it is 0:03:18.639 --> 0:03:20.720 so hard to make friends as an adult, and it's 0:03:20.720 --> 0:03:23.079 so hard to kind of put yourself out there and think, oh, 0:03:23.160 --> 0:03:25.000 I don't want to go to this thing with nobody, 0:03:25.040 --> 0:03:27.120 and then what if no one talks to me. The 0:03:27.200 --> 0:03:30.040 great thing about it is like everybody there has a 0:03:30.240 --> 0:03:33.520 very similar core values, has very similar core interest Because 0:03:33.600 --> 0:03:36.040 y'all listen to this podcast and you're all fucking crazy 0:03:36.120 --> 0:03:36.560 just like us. 0:03:36.680 --> 0:03:39.080 Okay, did you want to know what? Was actually pretty funny? 0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:41.880 We started sort of it was almost like a little 0:03:41.920 --> 0:03:44.920 live Ask Uncut. We just started throwing questions around and 0:03:44.960 --> 0:03:47.320 we're putting our two cents in. And there was one 0:03:47.360 --> 0:03:50.320 girl there that was like, how do you know or 0:03:50.320 --> 0:03:52.560 how do you do it when you want to ask 0:03:52.640 --> 0:03:55.440 the guy you're seeing to be your boyfriend? She's like, 0:03:55.480 --> 0:03:57.880 do you actually have to have that conversation these days? 0:03:58.000 --> 0:04:00.080 Or is it assumed? Or how do you go about that? 0:04:01.040 --> 0:04:02.960 And I have this flashback of what I did, and 0:04:03.000 --> 0:04:06.880 I was like when I was seeing Jordan. We were 0:04:06.880 --> 0:04:09.480 seeing each other every day for a little while, like 0:04:10.720 --> 0:04:14.440 from memory, maybe like four to six weeks, but very intense, 0:04:14.640 --> 0:04:17.360 like every day every night, kid go play tennis, he 0:04:17.400 --> 0:04:18.400 would come back. That was it. 0:04:18.560 --> 0:04:20.640 Yeah, Like normally we would tell you to take things slow, 0:04:20.760 --> 0:04:23.200 you know, easier way into a relationship, don't get too 0:04:23.200 --> 0:04:25.919 overly infested too earlier, Brittany was like he little leather. 0:04:26.240 --> 0:04:28.880 I was like, I've waited ten years, bitch's havvy. You 0:04:29.000 --> 0:04:31.479 just try and get away from me. She actually still 0:04:31.520 --> 0:04:32.760 has him cable tied to the bed. 0:04:34.160 --> 0:04:35.560 Yeah, shut up, Jordan. 0:04:36.240 --> 0:04:40.240 Jordan's overseas on tour. It's so weird that he's like 0:04:40.279 --> 0:04:42.520 not posting it. There's like one post on Instagram every 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:44.200 two weeks and it's all in Britney's tones. 0:04:44.320 --> 0:04:48.159 From me, no, but it made me laugh. So what 0:04:48.240 --> 0:04:50.200 happened with us is we got to this weird place 0:04:50.240 --> 0:04:53.000 where I know that it was on the cards because 0:04:53.160 --> 0:04:55.720 he was putting little feelers out, but he didn't want 0:04:55.760 --> 0:04:57.440 to say it. I could tell. So I remember getting 0:04:57.440 --> 0:05:00.480 a text from him and he said he was talking 0:05:00.520 --> 0:05:02.080 about a conversation who was having with his mum. He's 0:05:02.160 --> 0:05:04.840 quite close with his family, and he's like, so he's 0:05:04.880 --> 0:05:06.920 texting me this, He's like so funny, like speaking to 0:05:07.000 --> 0:05:09.240 mom today and she said, you know, she was asking 0:05:09.240 --> 0:05:10.200 how you were and stuff. And I was like, oh, 0:05:10.240 --> 0:05:11.719 that's really nice, Like tell her, I said hello, and 0:05:11.720 --> 0:05:13.599 he's like yeah. And then he sent me a screenshot 0:05:13.600 --> 0:05:16.560 of his conversation to his mum, and the conversation of 0:05:16.560 --> 0:05:19.880 the screenshot that he sent was his mum saying housings 0:05:19.880 --> 0:05:22.800 with Brittany. He was like, yeah, really good, Like obviously 0:05:22.839 --> 0:05:24.839 I'm you know, being seen her a lot and blah blah. 0:05:25.200 --> 0:05:31.000 And she said are you exclusive? And he said, I 0:05:31.040 --> 0:05:33.279 don't know, and then he sent me the screenshot and 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:36.320 that was it. Didn't say anything and a good conversation started. 0:05:36.440 --> 0:05:39.240 But that was obviously my place to be, like, I mean, 0:05:39.600 --> 0:05:42.080 like start the conversation, will you, like, hey, Jordan, please 0:05:42.120 --> 0:05:43.960 let your mum know that. It's a bit of a 0:05:43.960 --> 0:05:46.880 gray area for me at the moment anyway, So I ignored 0:05:46.800 --> 0:05:48.719 it because I was like, Okay, he obviously wants to 0:05:48.720 --> 0:05:50.960 be together. Otherwise he wouldn't have sent me that I 0:05:51.000 --> 0:05:53.479 want to do something cute, So I didn't Right back, 0:05:53.520 --> 0:05:55.560 I ignored it. I cut that. I love that for me 0:05:56.320 --> 0:05:58.680 if anyone that knows me well, and I've said it 0:05:58.720 --> 0:06:02.599 a few times, but technology is not my forte. I'm 0:06:02.640 --> 0:06:04.880 not good on the old computer. It's not like I've 0:06:04.960 --> 0:06:08.000 learned a lot on the business side, but canva doing 0:06:08.040 --> 0:06:09.840 anything fancy. Don't even know how to do all these 0:06:09.880 --> 0:06:11.320 like I don't know how to draw or do anything 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:13.479 on there. I was like, I'm going to do something 0:06:13.560 --> 0:06:16.159 really cute. So in my head I was like, this 0:06:16.200 --> 0:06:17.920 will take me an hour or two and then I'll 0:06:17.920 --> 0:06:19.520 send it back to him so he doesn't have to wait. 0:06:20.560 --> 0:06:23.720 It took me like thirty hours. What I did was 0:06:23.800 --> 0:06:29.400 I made a flow chart. Wait, you made a flow 0:06:29.480 --> 0:06:32.520 chart in canber Oh, I don't remember, like Google draw 0:06:32.640 --> 0:06:34.080 or something? Is there like a Google do? I don't know. 0:06:34.120 --> 0:06:36.359 I can't remember what I did it in. Look, technology 0:06:36.400 --> 0:06:37.800 is not my forte. Let's just say that. 0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:39.599 To put it lightly, Brinnie is good at a lot 0:06:39.600 --> 0:06:41.320 of things, like pretty much everything. 0:06:41.360 --> 0:06:44.800 She sets her mind to accept computers. In my defense, 0:06:44.839 --> 0:06:47.400 I've learned a lot, but this is not my thing. Anyway, 0:06:47.560 --> 0:06:49.680 I knew that Jordan obviously was putting his feelers out there. 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:51.640 I wanted to say that, you know, like, yes, let's 0:06:51.640 --> 0:06:53.280 be exclusive, because I wanted to be exclusive, so I 0:06:53.320 --> 0:06:55.560 wanted to do it in a cute, memorable way because 0:06:55.680 --> 0:06:58.680 I dipped down. I was like, this could be my penguin, 0:06:58.760 --> 0:07:00.440 and if it is, I want to cute story. I 0:07:00.440 --> 0:07:01.800 don't want to be like, yell, let's date. I was like, 0:07:01.839 --> 0:07:03.840 I'm gonna make the story. I'm gonna make it cute. 0:07:03.880 --> 0:07:06.039 I didn't even tell you this, Laura. I was probably 0:07:06.040 --> 0:07:08.120 embarrassed by I'm gonna show it to you, but in 0:07:08.160 --> 0:07:10.000 my mind, I was like, I'm gonna make him something 0:07:10.400 --> 0:07:13.680 to confirm that we're together, and then I'll send it 0:07:13.680 --> 0:07:15.920 to him. So ignored his text anyway. I could see 0:07:15.920 --> 0:07:17.840 that he was a bit antsy because he kept trying 0:07:17.840 --> 0:07:19.080 to like bring it back to the conversation, and I 0:07:19.120 --> 0:07:20.360 just ignored it because I was like, cute, I'm going 0:07:20.400 --> 0:07:22.400 to send this in surprise him anyway. But I thought 0:07:22.440 --> 0:07:24.280 it would take an hour. I took like thirty six hours, 0:07:25.320 --> 0:07:27.520 just really let him sweat it out, and to the 0:07:27.520 --> 0:07:29.800 point that literally just as I was finishing it, he 0:07:29.840 --> 0:07:31.320 wrote back to me and he said, hey, you've ignored 0:07:31.320 --> 0:07:32.800 my message from a few days ago, just as I 0:07:32.840 --> 0:07:37.520 was finishing it. Anyway, I made Jordan a flow chart, 0:07:39.360 --> 0:07:40.560 like you know, I'm in school. 0:07:40.840 --> 0:07:43.000 I made him like a proper wait, as in like 0:07:43.040 --> 0:07:45.880 a please answer yes or no, Like do you find 0:07:45.880 --> 0:07:46.440 me attractive? 0:07:46.520 --> 0:07:49.000 Yes? Should we have kids? Yes? Do you gonna have 0:07:49.000 --> 0:07:49.800 sex with me forever? 0:07:49.920 --> 0:07:50.080 Yes? 0:07:50.200 --> 0:07:52.680 Ollie boyfriend and girlfriend yeah. But there were so many questions. 0:07:52.680 --> 0:07:54.320 It was a really big flow chart. It was huge, 0:07:54.320 --> 0:07:56.160 and I had questions and you had purius yes and no, 0:07:56.760 --> 0:07:58.760 and like some of them are really cute and funny 0:07:58.800 --> 0:08:01.600 and like obviously a Joe. Then some of them were 0:08:01.600 --> 0:08:03.520 more serious, like are you on the same path, Like 0:08:03.760 --> 0:08:06.480 are you a dog person? Yes? If we buy a dog, 0:08:06.560 --> 0:08:08.160 you have to agree that I'm the person that names 0:08:08.160 --> 0:08:09.800 and picks the breed and keeps it. 0:08:09.840 --> 0:08:11.600 If you break up, yes, So there were things like that. 0:08:11.600 --> 0:08:13.280 They were joking, but it was so great, and then 0:08:13.320 --> 0:08:15.960 at the end of it it was like, yes, we're 0:08:16.000 --> 0:08:17.800 together and no we're not. And he got to the 0:08:17.920 --> 0:08:19.520 end and I sent it to him and I was like, 0:08:20.040 --> 0:08:23.040 beside myself, I was so tough, but I was also like, fuck, 0:08:23.120 --> 0:08:25.440 what if I misread this and he doesn't want him? 0:08:25.800 --> 0:08:27.280 I was like it was still only like six weeks. 0:08:27.320 --> 0:08:29.880 He could think I'm batshit crazy, like, who does it? 0:08:29.920 --> 0:08:31.640 Will you be my boyfriend? Flow chart? 0:08:31.840 --> 0:08:33.720 He's like, I wanted to date you, but now that 0:08:33.760 --> 0:08:36.280 you've really shown you're crazy, I'm just gonna take no. 0:08:36.679 --> 0:08:37.959 I think he would have gone that and been like 0:08:38.000 --> 0:08:39.200 that's adorable, okay. 0:08:39.160 --> 0:08:41.800 Very very adorable. About five hours later, I got it 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:43.560 back with a mini answer down the back and he'd 0:08:43.600 --> 0:08:45.360 like circled it and done flow chart back and it 0:08:45.440 --> 0:08:46.439 was so cute, and that's how we. 0:08:46.440 --> 0:08:47.640 Became boyfriend friend. 0:08:47.960 --> 0:08:49.400 It was like we were like, do you know how 0:08:49.400 --> 0:08:51.000 you send it in your six and you're like, will 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:52.880 you've been my boyfriend? Yes? No, maybe think about it, 0:08:52.880 --> 0:08:54.160 get back to me tomorrow. And you had to like 0:08:54.240 --> 0:08:55.280 circle it and center back. 0:08:55.360 --> 0:08:58.079 Well, you're not sitting there just waiting and in fear 0:08:58.160 --> 0:09:00.360 that maybe it wasn't going to be a yes, so 0:09:00.679 --> 0:09:02.840 confident that yes. It was like, yeah, we're dating, this 0:09:02.880 --> 0:09:03.680 is it, it's happening. 0:09:05.000 --> 0:09:06.760 I knew how we were, but I always do this 0:09:06.800 --> 0:09:09.160 thing where I don't overthink something and then I regret 0:09:09.160 --> 0:09:11.600 it later. I press send on something because I'm like 0:09:11.600 --> 0:09:13.080 I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks and I 0:09:13.080 --> 0:09:17.160 press send, and I'm like, he thinks you're crazy. 0:09:17.320 --> 0:09:19.840 But also I think this is a really interesting conversation. 0:09:19.920 --> 0:09:22.720 This comes up quite a bit. I don't think you 0:09:22.760 --> 0:09:25.679 should just assume that you're dating. I think there has 0:09:25.760 --> 0:09:28.360 to be some conversation there, because, like we know that 0:09:28.360 --> 0:09:30.839 situation ships can go for a very long time. 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:35.480 So was I three years was in a situation I 0:09:35.640 --> 0:09:38.040 still remember. I mean, like, look, we were dating, and 0:09:38.160 --> 0:09:40.880 this is going back. He didn't know that, but you were. No, 0:09:41.040 --> 0:09:42.040 it was the opposite. 0:09:42.200 --> 0:09:44.240 This is going back, like to the day when I 0:09:44.280 --> 0:09:45.920 was a bit of an asshole and like we were 0:09:45.920 --> 0:09:46.560 in a situation. 0:09:46.559 --> 0:09:47.679 Shit, we'd been dating. 0:09:47.400 --> 0:09:49.480 For quite a while and I just thought it was 0:09:49.520 --> 0:09:51.520 casual and I was like, you know what, even though 0:09:51.880 --> 0:09:53.680 I spend every day at his house, I was doing 0:09:53.720 --> 0:09:55.319 the guy thing. I was like, you know, I've met 0:09:55.320 --> 0:09:57.800 all his friends, I met his mom. But I was like, 0:09:57.800 --> 0:09:59.400 you know, but we're not committed, Like it's fine, we're 0:09:59.400 --> 0:10:01.160 still keeping this asual anyway, because we've never had a 0:10:01.200 --> 0:10:02.000 conversation about it. 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:03.080 And then I. 0:10:03.000 --> 0:10:05.199 Remember this one day we were out and we ran 0:10:05.240 --> 0:10:06.920 into some people that he knew, and he was like oh, 0:10:06.960 --> 0:10:08.760 this is my girlfriend Laura and. 0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:11.200 Subscribe. 0:10:11.720 --> 0:10:15.000 Excuse me, just because we own a house together and 0:10:15.040 --> 0:10:17.560 have three children doesn't mean that we are getting married. 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:21.000 Okay, I's obsessed with me. Well, the funniest thing was 0:10:21.160 --> 0:10:23.280 I was telling this story at the metup and this 0:10:23.360 --> 0:10:25.400 girl leans over and she's like, do you know when 0:10:25.400 --> 0:10:28.560 my eggs? Asked me? And I was like when she's like, 0:10:28.600 --> 0:10:31.400 I was literally in the middle of giving him a 0:10:31.400 --> 0:10:34.800 blowdrop his venis was in my mouth and he said, babe, 0:10:34.800 --> 0:10:37.480 want to be my girlfriend, and she's I was like, 0:10:37.559 --> 0:10:41.040 really doing a fierce job. Girl, you were on fire. Anyway, 0:10:41.080 --> 0:10:42.840 She looked up and she's like, Babe, like I'm still 0:10:42.880 --> 0:10:44.360 in the middle or something. And he's like, oh sorry, 0:10:44.360 --> 0:10:46.199 and she's like, okay, cool, yeah, late, let's do it. 0:10:46.400 --> 0:10:47.120 I love you too. 0:10:47.400 --> 0:10:49.720 I love you boo, Like you need to teach me 0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:53.440 your way. Anyway, Guys on that, let's get into the 0:10:53.520 --> 0:10:55.240 questions for today's episode. 0:10:55.600 --> 0:10:57.800 So I'm going to hit you with question number one. 0:10:58.160 --> 0:11:01.400 I got really drunk on the weekend guy, and something 0:11:01.440 --> 0:11:04.720 happened we went the meet up. I don't think she 0:11:04.920 --> 0:11:06.680 was but she should have been there because then maybe 0:11:06.679 --> 0:11:08.800 this wouldn't have happened. Okay, I got really drunk on 0:11:08.800 --> 0:11:10.680 the weekend, guys, and something happened. 0:11:10.840 --> 0:11:13.120 I ended up sleeping with my best mate, who is. 0:11:13.040 --> 0:11:16.560 A guy, And now we haven't spoken since, and I'm 0:11:16.600 --> 0:11:19.040 really really concerned about what to do. I don't have 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:20.960 feelings for him like that. I don't know if he 0:11:21.000 --> 0:11:23.600 has feelings for me, and I haven't contacted him since. 0:11:24.040 --> 0:11:28.640 Help. Hmmmm, I mean we've all fucked him. You're not 0:11:28.800 --> 0:11:32.840 the first person. There are two people in this room 0:11:32.840 --> 0:11:36.760 that are guilty of that. I will not name names. Look, 0:11:36.800 --> 0:11:39.320 this is a I think this is not tricky at all. 0:11:39.559 --> 0:11:41.640 This gets tricky if you have feelings for him, but 0:11:41.679 --> 0:11:43.880 you said that you don't. You don't think he does, 0:11:43.960 --> 0:11:46.400 so I don't think this has to be an issue. 0:11:46.400 --> 0:11:48.840 I think this can be a non event. If it 0:11:48.880 --> 0:11:50.840 hasn't been brought up by either of you, I'd just 0:11:50.920 --> 0:11:52.640 cruise long. I don't think it has to be anything. 0:11:52.679 --> 0:11:55.520 People a couple of the time. If it's awkward when 0:11:55.600 --> 0:11:58.120 you see him, then yeah you're gonna say something. You'd 0:11:58.120 --> 0:12:00.800 be like, hey, look, that was fine, but maybe let's 0:12:00.840 --> 0:12:03.240 just like forget it and move on, or and not 0:12:03.280 --> 0:12:05.839 even say that, be like well, I was crazy, wasn't it? Well, 0:12:05.880 --> 0:12:06.720 and make a joke of it. 0:12:06.760 --> 0:12:08.320 I think the issue here is that she doesn't know 0:12:08.360 --> 0:12:10.960 whether or not he has feelings, Like she has no idea. 0:12:11.080 --> 0:12:13.600 So obviously they've gone out, they've had way too much 0:12:13.640 --> 0:12:16.240 to drink. And I again, I'm gonna say something first, 0:12:16.240 --> 0:12:18.320 which I was very guilty of my twenties. But you 0:12:18.320 --> 0:12:21.080 know what, Mama Laura here with the advice that is, 0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:24.680 if you do really stupid shit when you're drunk, consider 0:12:24.760 --> 0:12:26.480 not getting so drunk. And I know that that is 0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:27.760 not helpful in retrospect. 0:12:27.800 --> 0:12:29.560 Oh I was. My mono is if you do stupid 0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:31.239 shit when you're drunk, it doesn't count. 0:12:31.600 --> 0:12:34.320 No, Because I think we can create a lot of 0:12:34.360 --> 0:12:36.880 allowances for ourselves and be like, oh I was drunk, 0:12:36.920 --> 0:12:39.240 I didn't mean it. And the reality is is like 0:12:39.360 --> 0:12:41.559 that behavior, you then have to deal with the guilt 0:12:41.559 --> 0:12:42.920 that you have. You then have to deal with the 0:12:42.960 --> 0:12:45.079 bad decision making. And I know it can all seem 0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:47.600 fun and fine and stuff in the moment and then 0:12:47.640 --> 0:12:49.920 you're like a lesson, have done that. But we do 0:12:50.000 --> 0:12:52.360 have a huge drinking culture in Australia. We have a 0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:55.040 binge drinking culture. And we do glorify it. I'm just 0:12:55.080 --> 0:12:56.880 gonna put it out there. If you think that you 0:12:56.960 --> 0:12:59.360 have issues with doing really stupid shit when you drink 0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:01.400 too much, consider drinking less. 0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:02.800 And I know that for myself. 0:13:02.880 --> 0:13:04.720 I went through that in my twenties and I have 0:13:04.880 --> 0:13:07.560 never been happier than what I am now when I 0:13:07.559 --> 0:13:08.800 don't drink as much as I used to. 0:13:09.120 --> 0:13:11.920 Okay, so Laura's on a drinking bandwagon. Laura, the question was. 0:13:12.080 --> 0:13:14.040 No, No, I know, And I'm gonna say this is not 0:13:14.080 --> 0:13:15.920 me to lecture you about drinking, but I just think 0:13:15.960 --> 0:13:18.320 like it's a big part of this and like, had 0:13:18.360 --> 0:13:20.160 you not been drunk, you wouldn't have slept with him. 0:13:20.200 --> 0:13:22.520 It lowers out you inhibitions. It makes us think that 0:13:22.559 --> 0:13:24.520 we want things that we don't actually want. It makes 0:13:24.600 --> 0:13:26.559 us do really stupid stuff, and then we can blame 0:13:26.600 --> 0:13:28.720 it on that and kind of get away with it. 0:13:28.760 --> 0:13:30.880 But the reality is, like, drinking doesn't make you fuck 0:13:30.880 --> 0:13:32.280 your friend. You fucked your friend. 0:13:32.320 --> 0:13:35.920 That's the thing. And listens your inhibitions, for sure, we 0:13:36.000 --> 0:13:37.439 all know that, and that can be a good thing. 0:13:37.520 --> 0:13:39.880 Sometimes it gives you a little bit of confidence. Maybe 0:13:39.920 --> 0:13:41.520 you can go and speak to that person that you're 0:13:41.559 --> 0:13:44.199 never gonna speak to. But yeah, what Laura's saying is right. 0:13:44.600 --> 0:13:47.000 Great things can happen, bad things can happen, but only 0:13:47.040 --> 0:13:48.480 you know how you act when you're drinking. But that 0:13:48.559 --> 0:13:49.480 is not what we're talking about. 0:13:49.600 --> 0:13:51.360 The other part of this, which I think is important 0:13:51.400 --> 0:13:53.760 to touch on, is like you do need to have 0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:56.360 a conversation. And I would think if I and when 0:13:56.360 --> 0:13:58.960 I have been in this position before, clear the air, 0:13:59.080 --> 0:14:00.960 but also then put some bath and in place, like 0:14:01.040 --> 0:14:04.200 you know, hey, that happened, probably shouldn't have happened. I 0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:06.520 love our friendship and I don't want anything more than that, 0:14:06.640 --> 0:14:09.800 because I do think that if things go unspoken, then 0:14:09.840 --> 0:14:11.640 maybe if he does have feelings for you, there could 0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:13.000 be a bit of hope that maybe it's going to 0:14:13.120 --> 0:14:15.160 lead into something. Or the next time you guys are 0:14:15.160 --> 0:14:17.320 together and you've had a few drinks, maybe he thinks 0:14:17.320 --> 0:14:20.080 that he can try it on again. Just make those 0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:23.080 boundaries super clear and then maybe you will still be 0:14:23.120 --> 0:14:23.560 able to have a. 0:14:23.520 --> 0:14:26.040 Good friendship out of it. We always say this communication 0:14:26.120 --> 0:14:28.400 is a key for anything. Like the reason people have fights, 0:14:28.400 --> 0:14:31.240 the reason people have issues in relationships or friendships is 0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:34.280 because people aren't communicating. But also what I want to 0:14:34.280 --> 0:14:38.720 add here is if there's any confusion, usually if anyone 0:14:38.840 --> 0:14:41.440 likes you, chances are they don't. And I'm not saying 0:14:41.480 --> 0:14:43.120 this is one hundred percent of the time, but if 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:48.680 you're unsure of someone's feelings, usually it's because they're not interested. 0:14:48.800 --> 0:14:51.400 We as humans like to make it known how we feel, 0:14:51.440 --> 0:14:54.440 and if we have feelings of someone men, particularly unless 0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:57.880 he's very very introverted or shy men, if they want 0:14:57.920 --> 0:14:59.800 to speak to you, or see you, or hear from you, 0:14:59.920 --> 0:15:02.440 or sleep with you, you will usually know you'll get 0:15:02.480 --> 0:15:04.400 the communication. Even if he hasn't written to you saying 0:15:04.480 --> 0:15:06.760 that was fun, let's do it again, you would have 0:15:06.760 --> 0:15:10.320 been able to pick up a vibe. I think if 0:15:10.360 --> 0:15:12.600 you feel super uncomfortable about this and you know you 0:15:12.640 --> 0:15:15.000 don't want anything else one hundred percent what Laura said, 0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:17.800 just have that quick conversation. It could be in person, 0:15:17.800 --> 0:15:19.880 it could be in a text, it doesn't matter, but 0:15:19.920 --> 0:15:22.160 still trying to make it a big deal. If it's 0:15:22.600 --> 0:15:25.400 really not an issue to you and he hasn't said 0:15:25.400 --> 0:15:27.200 anything and you can see each other and be fine, 0:15:27.280 --> 0:15:29.240 I would not even have a serious conversation. I'll just 0:15:29.240 --> 0:15:31.200 make a little lull about it, be like, let's not 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:33.800 do that again and move on. I think the bigger deal, 0:15:33.880 --> 0:15:35.960 you make it the bigger deal, it'll turn into. 0:15:36.080 --> 0:15:38.520 Yeah, I mean, I agree, I do agree. I guess 0:15:38.520 --> 0:15:40.640 it just is if it is something that is a 0:15:40.640 --> 0:15:42.840 big deal to you, like, there is no harm in 0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:45.880 having those open conversations. And I guess at the end 0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:48.280 of the day, like only you know whether or not 0:15:48.320 --> 0:15:50.320 you can move on from something you know. There could 0:15:50.320 --> 0:15:52.800 be that this is the thing that breaks the relationship. 0:15:52.840 --> 0:15:54.760 It could be that you're like, Okay, well, you know what, 0:15:54.960 --> 0:15:57.200 maybe there is something there, or maybe there's something there 0:15:57.200 --> 0:15:59.200 for him, or maybe the relationship is different to what 0:15:59.240 --> 0:16:02.920 I expected that it was because realistically, we don't very 0:16:02.960 --> 0:16:05.440 often have sex with our friends unless there's the Suddain 0:16:05.640 --> 0:16:07.040 thing in the atmosphere. 0:16:07.360 --> 0:16:09.600 And then how did it end up? I was fine, 0:16:09.720 --> 0:16:12.440 But that's because neither of us had any feelings, Like 0:16:12.760 --> 0:16:15.080 we had feelings for each other as a friendship. We're 0:16:15.080 --> 0:16:17.280