Speaker 1: Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life.
Speaker 2: I'm Cut and I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. Hi Brittany, Hi Laura.
Speaker 1: Look, you know what you've probably noticed by the title
Speaker 1: of this episode. Things kind of screwed me sideways this week,
Speaker 1: and we have swapped things up. We're doing a little
Speaker 1: switcher though. This is our ask guncut on a Tuesday,
Speaker 1: just to keep your guessing here we are.
Speaker 2: We've said this before, guys. We only do this when
Speaker 2: all hell breaks loose, and this week Laura was under
Speaker 2: the weather.
Speaker 1: Well I wasn't under the weather. But my kids are
Speaker 1: trying to kill me, like I think.
Speaker 2: I don't think they're trying to No, I'm sure they are.
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 1: When you have two under two, the only reason why
Speaker 1: you do that is because they're trying to kill you.
Speaker 2: It's it. That's all. We're out.
Speaker 1: So look, parenting definitely got the better of me this week.
Speaker 1: It's certainly got the better of me today. I may
Speaker 1: cry on this podcast. That's okay.
Speaker 2: We're all family here.
Speaker 1: But you know what it's like on our Thursday episode,
Speaker 1: which is today, and that is that we answer all
Speaker 1: of your deep, dark and burning questions and we do
Speaker 1: our best to give you our enthusiastic, very heartfelt, extremely
Speaker 1: unqualified yet filled with life experience advice.
Speaker 2: But before we do that, we're gonna nun a few
Speaker 2: things out.
Speaker 1: We've got some We've got some housekeeping to do, guys. Also,
Speaker 1: we went to a meetup yesterday.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we did. It was so fun. So you guys,
Speaker 2: most of you might know, some of you may not.
Speaker 2: The Life one Cup podcast has a Facebook group, and
Speaker 2: in that they have a meetup group. So we have
Speaker 2: a discussion group that you can join and all kinds
Speaker 2: of fancy stuff goes on there. But inside of that
Speaker 2: it's like a secret club. There are all these little
Speaker 2: meetup groups going on in different cities around Australia. Actually
Speaker 2: I think there's even some in the UK. It's pretty mental,
Speaker 2: but essentially you can join these groups and meet up,
Speaker 2: and people been meeting up for ages. So we decided
Speaker 2: to crash one in Bondi Sunday evening and we actually
Speaker 2: had the best time. I literally had to be dragged
Speaker 2: out of there to go to work. That was it.
Speaker 2: Otherwise I would to stay and party all night. I
Speaker 2: was getting loose. If you were watching my stories, I
Speaker 2: was spelling drinks all over the place.
Speaker 1: We don't organize these meetups, so if you guys have
Speaker 1: seen them before or if you've contemplated going to one,
Speaker 1: they're kind of like book club, but they're a little
Speaker 1: bit more litty and a little bit more fun. This
Speaker 1: one was organized was in Kuji, and there hasn't been
Speaker 1: an Eastern Suburbs one yet and we decided we should
Speaker 1: show up to the first Eastern Suburbs one and we
Speaker 1: surprised everyone and we were very happy that there was
Speaker 1: more than two people there, which there was.
Speaker 2: When we arrived. But it was honestly, it was honestly
Speaker 2: so much fun. And the best part about it was
Speaker 2: most of the people there they either came with a
Speaker 2: friend that are two of them, or half of them
Speaker 2: came alone. It was just people that want to meet
Speaker 2: new people, want to meet like minded people, want to
Speaker 2: go and have some fun, people that are new to
Speaker 2: the city, new to Bondi And I just think it
Speaker 2: makes my heart so warm to know that there are
Speaker 2: so many people making friends around Australia because of this podcast.
Speaker 1: Well, I think also the big thing as well, Guys,
Speaker 1: if you've contemplated going to one of these meetups or
Speaker 1: you want more information on them, obviously, jump onto the
Speaker 1: Life Uncut podcast group and then from there you can
Speaker 1: find the different meetups and stuff, and so there's quite
Speaker 1: a few meetup pages that are happening. But it is
Speaker 1: so hard to make friends as an adult, and it's
Speaker 1: so hard to kind of put yourself out there and think, oh,
Speaker 1: I don't want to go to this thing with nobody,
Speaker 1: and then what if no one talks to me. The
Speaker 1: great thing about it is like everybody there has a
Speaker 1: very similar core values, has very similar core interest Because
Speaker 1: y'all listen to this podcast and you're all fucking crazy
Speaker 1: just like us.
Speaker 2: Okay, did you want to know what? Was actually pretty funny?
Speaker 2: We started sort of it was almost like a little
Speaker 2: live Ask Uncut. We just started throwing questions around and
Speaker 2: we're putting our two cents in. And there was one
Speaker 2: girl there that was like, how do you know or
Speaker 2: how do you do it when you want to ask
Speaker 2: the guy you're seeing to be your boyfriend? She's like,
Speaker 2: do you actually have to have that conversation these days?
Speaker 2: Or is it assumed? Or how do you go about that?
Speaker 2: And I have this flashback of what I did, and
Speaker 2: I was like when I was seeing Jordan. We were
Speaker 2: seeing each other every day for a little while, like
Speaker 2: from memory, maybe like four to six weeks, but very intense,
Speaker 2: like every day every night, kid go play tennis, he
Speaker 2: would come back. That was it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like normally we would tell you to take things slow,
Speaker 1: you know, easier way into a relationship, don't get too
Speaker 1: overly infested too earlier, Brittany was like he little leather.
Speaker 1: I was like, I've waited ten years, bitch's havvy. You
Speaker 1: just try and get away from me. She actually still
Speaker 1: has him cable tied to the bed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, shut up, Jordan.
Speaker 1: Jordan's overseas on tour. It's so weird that he's like
Speaker 1: not posting it. There's like one post on Instagram every
Speaker 1: two weeks and it's all in Britney's tones.
Speaker 2: From me, no, but it made me laugh. So what
Speaker 2: happened with us is we got to this weird place
Speaker 2: where I know that it was on the cards because
Speaker 2: he was putting little feelers out, but he didn't want
Speaker 2: to say it. I could tell. So I remember getting
Speaker 2: a text from him and he said he was talking
Speaker 2: about a conversation who was having with his mum. He's
Speaker 2: quite close with his family, and he's like, so he's
Speaker 2: texting me this, He's like so funny, like speaking to
Speaker 2: mom today and she said, you know, she was asking
Speaker 2: how you were and stuff. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: that's really nice, Like tell her, I said hello, and
Speaker 2: he's like yeah. And then he sent me a screenshot
Speaker 2: of his conversation to his mum, and the conversation of
Speaker 2: the screenshot that he sent was his mum saying housings
Speaker 2: with Brittany. He was like, yeah, really good, Like obviously
Speaker 2: I'm you know, being seen her a lot and blah blah.
Speaker 2: And she said are you exclusive? And he said, I
Speaker 2: don't know, and then he sent me the screenshot and
Speaker 2: that was it. Didn't say anything and a good conversation started.
Speaker 2: But that was obviously my place to be, like, I mean,
Speaker 2: like start the conversation, will you, like, hey, Jordan, please
Speaker 2: let your mum know that. It's a bit of a
Speaker 2: gray area for me at the moment anyway, So I ignored
Speaker 2: it because I was like, Okay, he obviously wants to
Speaker 2: be together. Otherwise he wouldn't have sent me that I
Speaker 2: want to do something cute, So I didn't Right back,
Speaker 2: I ignored it. I cut that. I love that for me
Speaker 2: if anyone that knows me well, and I've said it
Speaker 2: a few times, but technology is not my forte. I'm
Speaker 2: not good on the old computer. It's not like I've
Speaker 2: learned a lot on the business side, but canva doing
Speaker 2: anything fancy. Don't even know how to do all these
Speaker 2: like I don't know how to draw or do anything
Speaker 2: on there. I was like, I'm going to do something
Speaker 2: really cute. So in my head I was like, this
Speaker 2: will take me an hour or two and then I'll
Speaker 2: send it back to him so he doesn't have to wait.
Speaker 2: It took me like thirty hours. What I did was
Speaker 2: I made a flow chart. Wait, you made a flow
Speaker 2: chart in canber Oh, I don't remember, like Google draw
Speaker 2: or something? Is there like a Google do? I don't know.
Speaker 2: I can't remember what I did it in. Look, technology
Speaker 2: is not my forte. Let's just say that.
Speaker 1: To put it lightly, Brinnie is good at a lot
Speaker 1: of things, like pretty much everything.
Speaker 2: She sets her mind to accept computers. In my defense,
Speaker 2: I've learned a lot, but this is not my thing. Anyway,
Speaker 2: I knew that Jordan obviously was putting his feelers out there.
Speaker 2: I wanted to say that, you know, like, yes, let's
Speaker 2: be exclusive, because I wanted to be exclusive, so I
Speaker 2: wanted to do it in a cute, memorable way because
Speaker 2: I dipped down. I was like, this could be my penguin,
Speaker 2: and if it is, I want to cute story. I
Speaker 2: don't want to be like, yell, let's date. I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna make the story. I'm gonna make it cute.
Speaker 2: I didn't even tell you this, Laura. I was probably
Speaker 2: embarrassed by I'm gonna show it to you, but in
Speaker 2: my mind, I was like, I'm gonna make him something
Speaker 2: to confirm that we're together, and then I'll send it
Speaker 2: to him. So ignored his text anyway. I could see
Speaker 2: that he was a bit antsy because he kept trying
Speaker 2: to like bring it back to the conversation, and I
Speaker 2: just ignored it because I was like, cute, I'm going
Speaker 2: to send this in surprise him anyway. But I thought
Speaker 2: it would take an hour. I took like thirty six hours,
Speaker 2: just really let him sweat it out, and to the
Speaker 2: point that literally just as I was finishing it, he
Speaker 2: wrote back to me and he said, hey, you've ignored
Speaker 2: my message from a few days ago, just as I
Speaker 2: was finishing it. Anyway, I made Jordan a flow chart,
Speaker 2: like you know, I'm in school.
Speaker 1: I made him like a proper wait, as in like
Speaker 1: a please answer yes or no, Like do you find
Speaker 1: me attractive?
Speaker 2: Yes? Should we have kids? Yes? Do you gonna have
Speaker 2: sex with me forever?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 2: Ollie boyfriend and girlfriend yeah. But there were so many questions.
Speaker 2: It was a really big flow chart. It was huge,
Speaker 2: and I had questions and you had purius yes and no,
Speaker 2: and like some of them are really cute and funny
Speaker 2: and like obviously a Joe. Then some of them were
Speaker 2: more serious, like are you on the same path, Like
Speaker 2: are you a dog person? Yes? If we buy a dog,
Speaker 2: you have to agree that I'm the person that names
Speaker 2: and picks the breed and keeps it.
Speaker 1: If you break up, yes, So there were things like that.
Speaker 2: They were joking, but it was so great, and then
Speaker 2: at the end of it it was like, yes, we're
Speaker 2: together and no we're not. And he got to the
Speaker 2: end and I sent it to him and I was like,
Speaker 2: beside myself, I was so tough, but I was also like, fuck,
Speaker 2: what if I misread this and he doesn't want him?
Speaker 2: I was like it was still only like six weeks.
Speaker 2: He could think I'm batshit crazy, like, who does it?
Speaker 2: Will you be my boyfriend? Flow chart?
Speaker 1: He's like, I wanted to date you, but now that
Speaker 1: you've really shown you're crazy, I'm just gonna take no.
Speaker 1: I think he would have gone that and been like
Speaker 1: that's adorable, okay.
Speaker 2: Very very adorable. About five hours later, I got it
Speaker 2: back with a mini answer down the back and he'd
Speaker 2: like circled it and done flow chart back and it
Speaker 2: was so cute, and that's how we.
Speaker 1: Became boyfriend friend.
Speaker 2: It was like we were like, do you know how
Speaker 2: you send it in your six and you're like, will
Speaker 2: you've been my boyfriend? Yes? No, maybe think about it,
Speaker 2: get back to me tomorrow. And you had to like
Speaker 2: circle it and center back.
Speaker 1: Well, you're not sitting there just waiting and in fear
Speaker 1: that maybe it wasn't going to be a yes, so
Speaker 1: confident that yes. It was like, yeah, we're dating, this
Speaker 1: is it, it's happening.
Speaker 2: I knew how we were, but I always do this
Speaker 2: thing where I don't overthink something and then I regret
Speaker 2: it later. I press send on something because I'm like
Speaker 2: I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks and I
Speaker 2: press send, and I'm like, he thinks you're crazy.
Speaker 1: But also I think this is a really interesting conversation.
Speaker 1: This comes up quite a bit. I don't think you
Speaker 1: should just assume that you're dating. I think there has
Speaker 1: to be some conversation there, because, like we know that
Speaker 1: situation ships can go for a very long time.
Speaker 2: So was I three years was in a situation I
Speaker 2: still remember. I mean, like, look, we were dating, and
Speaker 2: this is going back. He didn't know that, but you were. No,
Speaker 2: it was the opposite.
Speaker 1: This is going back, like to the day when I
Speaker 1: was a bit of an asshole and like we were
Speaker 1: in a situation.
Speaker 2: Shit, we'd been dating.
Speaker 1: For quite a while and I just thought it was
Speaker 1: casual and I was like, you know what, even though
Speaker 1: I spend every day at his house, I was doing
Speaker 1: the guy thing. I was like, you know, I've met
Speaker 1: all his friends, I met his mom. But I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, but we're not committed, Like it's fine, we're
Speaker 1: still keeping this asual anyway, because we've never had a
Speaker 1: conversation about it.
Speaker 2: And then I.
Speaker 1: Remember this one day we were out and we ran
Speaker 1: into some people that he knew, and he was like oh,
Speaker 1: this is my girlfriend Laura and.
Speaker 2: Subscribe.
Speaker 1: Excuse me, just because we own a house together and
Speaker 1: have three children doesn't mean that we are getting married.
Speaker 2: Okay, I's obsessed with me. Well, the funniest thing was
Speaker 2: I was telling this story at the metup and this
Speaker 2: girl leans over and she's like, do you know when
Speaker 2: my eggs? Asked me? And I was like when she's like,
Speaker 2: I was literally in the middle of giving him a
Speaker 2: blowdrop his venis was in my mouth and he said, babe,
Speaker 2: want to be my girlfriend, and she's I was like,
Speaker 2: really doing a fierce job. Girl, you were on fire. Anyway,
Speaker 2: She looked up and she's like, Babe, like I'm still
Speaker 2: in the middle or something. And he's like, oh sorry,
Speaker 2: and she's like, okay, cool, yeah, late, let's do it.
Speaker 2: I love you too.
Speaker 1: I love you boo, Like you need to teach me
Speaker 1: your way. Anyway, Guys on that, let's get into the
Speaker 1: questions for today's episode.
Speaker 2: So I'm going to hit you with question number one.
Speaker 1: I got really drunk on the weekend guy, and something
Speaker 1: happened we went the meet up. I don't think she
Speaker 1: was but she should have been there because then maybe
Speaker 1: this wouldn't have happened. Okay, I got really drunk on
Speaker 1: the weekend, guys, and something happened.
Speaker 2: I ended up sleeping with my best mate, who is.
Speaker 1: A guy, And now we haven't spoken since, and I'm
Speaker 1: really really concerned about what to do. I don't have
Speaker 1: feelings for him like that. I don't know if he
Speaker 1: has feelings for me, and I haven't contacted him since.
Speaker 2: Help. Hmmmm, I mean we've all fucked him. You're not
Speaker 2: the first person. There are two people in this room
Speaker 2: that are guilty of that. I will not name names. Look,
Speaker 2: this is a I think this is not tricky at all.
Speaker 2: This gets tricky if you have feelings for him, but
Speaker 2: you said that you don't. You don't think he does,
Speaker 2: so I don't think this has to be an issue.
Speaker 2: I think this can be a non event. If it
Speaker 2: hasn't been brought up by either of you, I'd just
Speaker 2: cruise long. I don't think it has to be anything.
Speaker 2: People a couple of the time. If it's awkward when
Speaker 2: you see him, then yeah you're gonna say something. You'd
Speaker 2: be like, hey, look, that was fine, but maybe let's
Speaker 2: just like forget it and move on, or and not
Speaker 2: even say that, be like well, I was crazy, wasn't it? Well,
Speaker 2: and make a joke of it.
Speaker 1: I think the issue here is that she doesn't know
Speaker 1: whether or not he has feelings, Like she has no idea.
Speaker 1: So obviously they've gone out, they've had way too much
Speaker 1: to drink. And I again, I'm gonna say something first,
Speaker 1: which I was very guilty of my twenties. But you
Speaker 1: know what, Mama Laura here with the advice that is,
Speaker 1: if you do really stupid shit when you're drunk, consider
Speaker 1: not getting so drunk. And I know that that is
Speaker 1: not helpful in retrospect.
Speaker 2: Oh I was. My mono is if you do stupid
Speaker 2: shit when you're drunk, it doesn't count.
Speaker 1: No, Because I think we can create a lot of
Speaker 1: allowances for ourselves and be like, oh I was drunk,
Speaker 1: I didn't mean it. And the reality is is like
Speaker 1: that behavior, you then have to deal with the guilt
Speaker 1: that you have. You then have to deal with the
Speaker 1: bad decision making. And I know it can all seem
Speaker 1: fun and fine and stuff in the moment and then
Speaker 1: you're like a lesson, have done that. But we do
Speaker 1: have a huge drinking culture in Australia. We have a
Speaker 1: binge drinking culture. And we do glorify it. I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna put it out there. If you think that you
Speaker 1: have issues with doing really stupid shit when you drink
Speaker 1: too much, consider drinking less.
Speaker 2: And I know that for myself.
Speaker 1: I went through that in my twenties and I have
Speaker 1: never been happier than what I am now when I
Speaker 1: don't drink as much as I used to.
Speaker 2: Okay, so Laura's on a drinking bandwagon. Laura, the question was.
Speaker 1: No, No, I know, And I'm gonna say this is not
Speaker 1: me to lecture you about drinking, but I just think
Speaker 1: like it's a big part of this and like, had
Speaker 1: you not been drunk, you wouldn't have slept with him.
Speaker 1: It lowers out you inhibitions. It makes us think that
Speaker 1: we want things that we don't actually want. It makes
Speaker 1: us do really stupid stuff, and then we can blame
Speaker 1: it on that and kind of get away with it.
Speaker 1: But the reality is, like, drinking doesn't make you fuck
Speaker 1: your friend. You fucked your friend.
Speaker 2: That's the thing. And listens your inhibitions, for sure, we
Speaker 2: all know that, and that can be a good thing.
Speaker 2: Sometimes it gives you a little bit of confidence. Maybe
Speaker 2: you can go and speak to that person that you're
Speaker 2: never gonna speak to. But yeah, what Laura's saying is right.
Speaker 2: Great things can happen, bad things can happen, but only
Speaker 2: you know how you act when you're drinking. But that
Speaker 2: is not what we're talking about.
Speaker 1: The other part of this, which I think is important
Speaker 1: to touch on, is like you do need to have
Speaker 1: a conversation. And I would think if I and when
Speaker 1: I have been in this position before, clear the air,
Speaker 1: but also then put some bath and in place, like
Speaker 1: you know, hey, that happened, probably shouldn't have happened. I
Speaker 1: love our friendship and I don't want anything more than that,
Speaker 1: because I do think that if things go unspoken, then
Speaker 1: maybe if he does have feelings for you, there could
Speaker 1: be a bit of hope that maybe it's going to
Speaker 1: lead into something. Or the next time you guys are
Speaker 1: together and you've had a few drinks, maybe he thinks
Speaker 1: that he can try it on again. Just make those
Speaker 1: boundaries super clear and then maybe you will still be
Speaker 1: able to have a.
Speaker 2: Good friendship out of it. We always say this communication
Speaker 2: is a key for anything. Like the reason people have fights,
Speaker 2: the reason people have issues in relationships or friendships is
Speaker 2: because people aren't communicating. But also what I want to
Speaker 2: add here is if there's any confusion, usually if anyone
Speaker 2: likes you, chances are they don't. And I'm not saying
Speaker 2: this is one hundred percent of the time, but if
Speaker 2: you're unsure of someone's feelings, usually it's because they're not interested.
Speaker 2: We as humans like to make it known how we feel,
Speaker 2: and if we have feelings of someone men, particularly unless
Speaker 2: he's very very introverted or shy men, if they want
Speaker 2: to speak to you, or see you, or hear from you,
Speaker 2: or sleep with you, you will usually know you'll get
Speaker 2: the communication. Even if he hasn't written to you saying
Speaker 2: that was fun, let's do it again, you would have
Speaker 2: been able to pick up a vibe. I think if
Speaker 2: you feel super uncomfortable about this and you know you
Speaker 2: don't want anything else one hundred percent what Laura said,
Speaker 2: just have that quick conversation. It could be in person,
Speaker 2: it could be in a text, it doesn't matter, but
Speaker 2: still trying to make it a big deal. If it's
Speaker 2: really not an issue to you and he hasn't said
Speaker 2: anything and you can see each other and be fine,
Speaker 2: I would not even have a serious conversation. I'll just
Speaker 2: make a little lull about it, be like, let's not
Speaker 2: do that again and move on. I think the bigger deal,
Speaker 2: you make it the bigger deal, it'll turn into.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I agree, I do agree. I guess
Speaker 1: it just is if it is something that is a
Speaker 1: big deal to you, like, there is no harm in
Speaker 1: having those open conversations. And I guess at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, like only you know whether or not
Speaker 1: you can move on from something you know. There could
Speaker 1: be that this is the thing that breaks the relationship.
Speaker 1: It could be that you're like, Okay, well, you know what,
Speaker 1: maybe there is something there, or maybe there's something there
Speaker 1: for him, or maybe the relationship is different to what
Speaker 1: I expected that it was because realistically, we don't very
Speaker 1: often have sex with our friends unless there's the Suddain
Speaker 1: thing in the atmosphere.
Speaker 2: And then how did it end up? I was fine,
Speaker 2: But that's because neither of us had any feelings, Like
Speaker 2: we had feelings for each other as a friendship. We're
Speaker 2: attracted to each other, but neither of us wanted anything,
Speaker 2: and so we just we would literally see each other
Speaker 2: the next time and it would be like nothing happened.
Speaker 1: But did you do this on multiple occasions or just
Speaker 1: one time only it was one night affair a few.
Speaker 2: I it wasn't a like, it wasn't a guarantee. We
Speaker 2: would see each other ten to fifteen times as friends
Speaker 2: and nothing, and then occasionally we'd just look up and
Speaker 2: it wasn't as spoken thing. It would just happen and
Speaker 2: then we wouldn't speak about it again. It was strange,
Speaker 2: but it works because we're both on the same wavelength.
Speaker 1: Was there someone who you'd been friends with for a
Speaker 1: long time though this is this girl's best friend.
Speaker 2: I had been friends with this person for yeah, a
Speaker 2: decent amount of time before we hooked up. We would Yeah,
Speaker 2: sometimes we would see each other for ages and nothing
Speaker 2: would happen because we were just friends. Then randomly would
Speaker 2: just look up. That was okay, because it's just what
Speaker 2: worked for us. We both knew. Neither of us wanted
Speaker 2: anything back to you. I think if you're that anxious
Speaker 2: about it, the only thing that's going to make I
Speaker 2: feel better is to have the conversation. Send a text,
Speaker 2: even if it's just like, Hey, the other night was fun,
Speaker 2: but we probably shouldn't do that again. If you're not interested,
Speaker 2: that's all we need. One line, a throwaway so that
Speaker 2: you're on even turf, and I even turf is not
Speaker 2: even a same.
Speaker 1: It's not a thing. But we can go with that.
Speaker 1: But I agree with what brit said. I think that
Speaker 1: the one part here is Brittan, you're saying, yeah, and
Speaker 1: then we hooked up, and then we it was fine,
Speaker 1: and then we hooked up again. I think for this
Speaker 1: person who's written in, if you do not want to
Speaker 1: hook up again, if you're like, this is causing me anxiety,
Speaker 1: I don't want this relationship. I don't want him to
Speaker 1: have the wrong impression. Tell him that set some boundaries.
Speaker 1: You can do it in a friendly way. It doesn't
Speaker 1: have to be like this is me setting boundaries, buddy.
Speaker 1: You can just be like, hey, I don't think that
Speaker 1: should have happened. I really love our friendship, and let's
Speaker 1: just not do that again, and let's pretend like it
Speaker 1: never happened.
Speaker 2: If you can question number two, amen, question number two.
Speaker 2: I just found out my best friend of fifteen years
Speaker 2: had a threesome with my brother and his girlfriend. What
Speaker 2: are you friend going this episode? We're all out together
Speaker 2: and seeing at my brother's. She went home earliers. She
Speaker 2: wasn't feeling it. I came home later and slept in
Speaker 2: bed with her. I came to find out three weeks
Speaker 2: later from a slip of the tongue from my brother
Speaker 2: that they had all had a threesome. Turns out she
Speaker 2: was feeling it. But wait, there's more. My best friend
Speaker 2: is married with kids. Do I confront her that she's
Speaker 2: married with children except with my brother and his girlfriend
Speaker 2: in my house? Or do I just pretend like I
Speaker 2: never found out, mate, ignorance is blessed.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Okay, I was going to say when
Speaker 1: this question first started, I was like, let your girlfriend
Speaker 1: live her best goddamn life. Oh, it makes it a
Speaker 1: whole lot more complicated when she's married and has children.
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously there's probably the potential that your friends
Speaker 1: with her husband, you probably.
Speaker 2: Know the kids really well.
Speaker 1: There's a whole other dynamic here that I think makes
Speaker 1: it a lot more difficult and puts a lot of
Speaker 1: pressure on this friendship and this relationship. I'm going to
Speaker 1: go back to the whole communication is key thing, I think,
Speaker 1: because there is more things that play here. If she
Speaker 1: was single and she just had sex with your brother
Speaker 1: or whatever, let a girl live. But because you are
Speaker 1: in a tricky situation now where you know a husband
Speaker 1: and you know her family dynamics. I think you can
Speaker 1: have a conversation with her about it and say you've
Speaker 1: put me in such a difficult situation by doing this,
Speaker 1: Like you know, I wish I didn't know. Obviously you
Speaker 1: didn't tell me, but like, this isn't something that's really
Speaker 1: surprising to me, And like is this the one off?
Speaker 2: Is this something that you are going to do? Does
Speaker 2: your husband know?
Speaker 1: Maybe try and get some insight into what is happening
Speaker 1: in this behavior.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's a messy one, isn't it. Like I think
Speaker 2: that ultimately you're going to want to say something, Oh
Speaker 2: you wish you could unknow it, but you can't. You
Speaker 2: do know it. It's going to bubble inside, bubble under
Speaker 2: the surface. But I think that it's your best friend.
Speaker 2: I don't think going and a hack her. I think
Speaker 2: you can just go and say let her tell the story,
Speaker 2: Say hey, I know what happened with you know you
Speaker 2: or my brother? Do you want to talk to me
Speaker 2: about that? Like why did you do that? You don't
Speaker 2: know what's going on in her personal life. You don't
Speaker 2: know if she needs to just like need a friend,
Speaker 2: but let her talk to you about it really calmly,
Speaker 2: and hopefully you guys can actually have a discussion and
Speaker 2: get to the bondom of it and then say, look,
Speaker 2: I don't know really what to do here, Like are
Speaker 2: you going to tell your partner? Do you have this
Speaker 2: deep regret that you wish it never happened? You're going
Speaker 2: to move on? Because I don't think it's up to
Speaker 2: you to go and tell the partner. I think you
Speaker 2: need to have a conversation with her before you do that,
Speaker 2: because you don't know what's going on and it's going
Speaker 2: to cause havoc on a whole family. So step one, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I would probably just have a chatter and I'd be like, look,
Speaker 2: like I know, I know what happened. You want to
Speaker 2: talk about it, just see where it goes from there.
Speaker 1: And especially knowing that it is your best friend, Like
Speaker 1: I think that's the biggest part of this, and the
Speaker 1: fact that you probably have such a close relationship to her,
Speaker 1: You probably know so much about each other. But there's
Speaker 1: obviously some things that she's keeping, whether it be in
Speaker 1: her relationship or just in her sex life in general,
Speaker 1: And like Britz said, maybe they have an open relationship.
Speaker 1: Maybe there is more going on here that you don't
Speaker 1: fully know or appreciate, or she hasn't told you. She
Speaker 1: doesn't have to tell you, you know, even though you are
Speaker 1: her closest friend. We don't need to know every single
Speaker 1: thing that's happening in our friends' lives. We're allowed to
Speaker 1: have some secrets and some privacy, But if it's affecting
Speaker 1: your life, and if it's affecting your ability and your
Speaker 1: moral compass and all of those other things, then I
Speaker 1: think having a really honest and raw conversation around it
Speaker 1: and trying to understand things better from her perspective about
Speaker 1: how she feels about what's happened.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's awkward for everybody.
Speaker 3: And then maybe husking not to sleep with your brother
Speaker 3: again and his girlfriend. But also have you had that
Speaker 3: conversation with your brother around like what happened? Like where
Speaker 3: did this come from? I think that there's you know,
Speaker 3: they had too much alcohol again A babe.
Speaker 2: Guys, bad decision making. Okay, next question, I'm actually really
Speaker 2: interested in your thoughts on this. Laura, partner and I
Speaker 2: have just found out we are expecting our first baby.
Speaker 2: We don't actually know what we are having just yet.
Speaker 2: He has a family tradition that every son in the
Speaker 2: family is called John. But I don't really want to
Speaker 2: call my son John. Nothing against the name, guys, is
Speaker 2: just not my style. I have so many fun, cool
Speaker 2: name ideas already that I'm so excited to choose. But
Speaker 2: my question is is it out of line for me
Speaker 2: to not want to follow his family tradition of calling
Speaker 2: our kid John. It means a lot to my partner,
Speaker 2: and I don't want to be an awful person and
Speaker 2: ruin the tradition. But I also feel like I have
Speaker 2: a say since I'm pushing it out of my vagina. Thanks, girls,
Speaker 2: I have a lot.
Speaker 1: Of feels about this. Okay, my number one is middle name?
Speaker 1: That shit, Just stick it in there as the middle name.
Speaker 1: You guys have to agree on a first name. If
Speaker 1: you don't want John and you're giving birth. You don't
Speaker 1: have to buy into every single family tradition that your
Speaker 1: partner has, because then you get what you want, get sidelines.
Speaker 1: So why not come to some sort of agreement that
Speaker 1: it's a middle name. Secondly, let's hope it's a girl. Thirdly,
Speaker 1: actually in my sister, So my sister's married and her
Speaker 1: partner in their family. Brock is like the family name.
Speaker 1: It's this family name that's been passed down generation to generation.
Speaker 1: And my brother in law's grandma, her name is Brock.
Speaker 1: You're right, because they were so hell bent on naming
Speaker 1: someone from that generation Brock, which, you know what, each
Speaker 1: to your own, but sometimes traditions aren't necessarily the best outcome. Well,
Speaker 1: you know my family tradition, his middle name is Mayo.
Speaker 2: Everyone. So my middle name is a family name, one
Speaker 2: child and every generation has to have it. And it's Mayo,
Speaker 2: as in, yes, the condiment. My middle name is Mayo.
Speaker 2: It's grown on me. I'll be honest, but I was
Speaker 2: a bit you know, I didn't know how I felt
Speaker 2: in the early days. And now I have to call
Speaker 2: one of my children Maya, which you know. I have
Speaker 2: notified Jordan, and he's you know, he's gonna roll with it,
Speaker 2: but he's not overly impressed. But I think for a
Speaker 2: first name, I get the tradition thing, and I get
Speaker 2: keeping a name in the found. But you absolutely have
Speaker 2: a right to call your child whatever you want to
Speaker 2: call it. I do think you need to come to
Speaker 2: a compromise, like it needs to be something that you
Speaker 2: both agree on. It has to be like you need
Speaker 2: to get to a name that you both agree on.
Speaker 2: But there is absolutely no reason you can't just use
Speaker 2: john as a middle name.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think not to subscribe to the whole
Speaker 1: patriarchy thing. But the thing that is a bit frustrating
Speaker 1: in this, which is a reason that I think you
Speaker 1: can kind of debate the cause, is like, he gets
Speaker 1: a name, you're probably gonna take his last name. When
Speaker 1: you're married, you probably already have his last name.
Speaker 2: I've been greedy, broke.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think that this is something that happens
Speaker 1: a lot. Like even when I had Marley, Matt and
Speaker 1: I didn't entirely agree on names, but Marley got Johnson,
Speaker 1: and at the time, obviously we're not married, so my
Speaker 1: last name is still Burne. And I was like, but
Speaker 1: you get the name, you get the Johnson, and I
Speaker 1: don't get anything if I don't get the first name.
Speaker 1: So that's me making a sacrifice. Otherwise she can be
Speaker 1: Marley Byrne Like, how do you feel about that?
Speaker 2: And he was like, okay, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1: So I do think that there is already a huge
Speaker 1: tradition in the fact that majority of people take their
Speaker 1: father's last name, so I don't think that you necessarily
Speaker 1: have to subscribe to family tradition, which is that they
Speaker 1: should have the first name as well. So yeah, I
Speaker 1: do genuinely think that a middle name is probably the
Speaker 1: safest bet. But that's not to say that you're not
Speaker 1: going to hit some sort of like frustrating family conversations
Speaker 1: where you've gone against the grain because everyone's done what
Speaker 1: they're supposed to do this whole time, and kind of
Speaker 1: having kids is like the same as getting married or
Speaker 1: everyone is always going to have an opinion about how
Speaker 1: or what you should do. And I think if it's
Speaker 1: something that you feel really strongly about and you care
Speaker 1: about deeply, have those conversations with your husband, communicate with
Speaker 1: him how you feel about it, and then see what
Speaker 1: he says in response to that.
Speaker 2: I think the important thing here is just to do
Speaker 2: it in a really respectful way. Don't say you're crazy,
Speaker 2: we're not doing that. Get a life, keep dreaming. It's
Speaker 2: more like, look, I just don't resonate with the name.
Speaker 2: I don't love it, I don't have a connection to it.
Speaker 2: I would really like to look at putting that Inc's
Speaker 2: middle name and calling him this for this reason, and then,
Speaker 2: like Laura just said, if you need to continue the
Speaker 2: fire to slash argument, just present to him that he
Speaker 2: gets the last name and that's it. Plain Devil's advocate here.
Speaker 1: Though, One thing I think like maybe to consider is
Speaker 1: if you don't actually have an affinity to any names
Speaker 1: it's only because like you're like, oh they sound pretty
Speaker 1: or I like this, then maybe having a deeper understanding
Speaker 1: about why there is this connection to the name. Maybe
Speaker 1: it was someone within the family or there's some sort
Speaker 1: of lineage that's really important, not just that it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: the first son is all called John John junior John
Speaker 1: John John, but there might be a reason why in
Speaker 1: that family it's something that's really important. So, for an example,
Speaker 1: in our family, May, which is a middle name, is
Speaker 1: a name that's really important, and I think that maybe
Speaker 1: it's something to consider if there is a reason or
Speaker 1: there is a purpose behind the name and it has
Speaker 1: some really sentimental and heartfelt meanings for your husband, and
Speaker 1: on the other end of the scale, you're like, do
Speaker 1: you know what, it's only because I don't like the
Speaker 1: name or I like something a little bit better, then
Speaker 1: maybe consider that in your conversations. Definitely, I just want
Speaker 1: to add we're finished, but when not really finished.
Speaker 2: Definitely consider it. But also I'm still gonna stick to
Speaker 2: the thing where I'm still gonna stick to my point
Speaker 2: of and your point to the listener if you don't
Speaker 2: like it, If you don't like a name, I think
Speaker 2: that's reason enough. I rules are meant to be broken by.
Speaker 2: You have to look at that child and call that
Speaker 2: child its name for probably the next fifty sixty years.
Speaker 2: That is a long time to be saying, hey, John,
Speaker 2: if you don't like your name John.
Speaker 1: I always think it's so weird. You know how you
Speaker 1: see some names and you think, who looked at a
Speaker 1: baby a beautiful little baby and went, I'm gonna call
Speaker 1: this baby Kevin or Agatha or something or just like
Speaker 1: really old school names.
Speaker 2: But no, I think it's a generation name. So I
Speaker 2: think it's like I always think it's funny with evil.
Speaker 2: I'm a beautiful little baby boy, and you're like, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna call him Neville. But it's generational, so at the
Speaker 2: time you're like, amazing, that's a beautiful name, because everyone
Speaker 2: was called names like that. I just think it's now
Speaker 2: in our generation that if there were old school names.
Speaker 2: It's all I mean, they're making it comeback. Old school
Speaker 2: names are making it come back.
Speaker 1: But don't get me wrong, I like these names on
Speaker 1: grown adults. But it's like little baby Greg. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: it's just the It's like you need a name that
Speaker 1: kind of transitions throughout the whole Babe Bertha.
Speaker 2: Anyway, guys, that is us.
Speaker 1: This is our short sharp a quick, down and dirty episode.
Speaker 1: I mean it was a little bit dirty with the
Speaker 1: threeesomen thrown in there for a bit of spicy.
Speaker 2: And there was a blowjob where the boy said we
Speaker 2: be my girlfriend right when she was going down there.
Speaker 2: Romance that's what we're all about and modern day row.
Speaker 2: We will have.
Speaker 1: Our big meeting episode for you on Thursday. So yeah,
Speaker 1: sorry that we had to do the switcheroo on you
Speaker 1: this week, but we'll be back better than ever and
Speaker 1: keep those questions coming in guys to the Life Uncut
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