Speaker 1: Part of what I'm learning in therapy is that I
Speaker 1: have this preoccupation with control, and that I feel as
Speaker 1: though I have the ability and the free will to
Speaker 1: control my outcome and my environment and all that good stuff.
Speaker 2: And I do to a point.
Speaker 1: But I think what some people forget to let you
Speaker 1: know about making choices that you're only responsible for half
Speaker 1: of the result.
Speaker 2: You can do the exact right.
Speaker 1: Thing, say in the exact right way, produce it in
Speaker 1: the exact right way, and it still might not work
Speaker 1: because you can't control how other people perceive you, or
Speaker 1: your ideas or your experiences. So when you are building
Speaker 1: a sense of trust in yourself, do it knowing that
Speaker 1: you can't control the outcome, but that you can only
Speaker 1: set yourself up just enough to ensure that you've done
Speaker 1: everything on your part to make sure it happens with
Speaker 1: the way that you intend. But you can also build
Speaker 1: resilience to keep going if it doesn't work the first
Speaker 1: time you try.
Speaker 3: Welcome back to the Rise and Conquer Podcast. I'm your host,
Speaker 3: Georgie Stevenson, former lawyer turned entrepreneur, social media personality and
Speaker 3: personal development junkie. This podcast is for my girl gang
Speaker 3: who want to feed their mind with positive and expansive
Speaker 3: thoughts to help them step into their power and live
Speaker 3: their most authentic life. We chat a variety of topics
Speaker 3: including mindset, business, relationships, health, and so much more. Basically,
Speaker 3: wherever you are on your journey, I want to help
Speaker 3: you feel inspired and empowered to rise up and conquer
Speaker 3: your next bold move. I know that's going to look
Speaker 3: different for everyone, but just no, I'm right here by
Speaker 3: your side, and that you have the RNC community behind you,
Speaker 3: let's do this. Hello and welcome to the Rise and
Speaker 3: Conquer Podcast. It is your host, Georgie, and today I
Speaker 3: am joined by the marvelous Lily Ahinken. But you probably
Speaker 3: know her as flex Mammy on Instagram. So Flex is
Speaker 3: in an absolute ray of sunshine. She brings light to
Speaker 3: so many important issues and she's just a really great
Speaker 3: person to have a chat with, as you will soon
Speaker 3: find out in this episode. So Flex is definitely someone
Speaker 3: you could call multi passionate. She's an influencer, a business owner,
Speaker 3: dj TV presenter, podcaster, author, model, and I'm sure more things.
Speaker 3: She certainly has so many achievements under her belt, and
Speaker 3: we do chat in the podcast how she is definitely
Speaker 3: a high achiever and that is her type, I guess.
Speaker 2: So.
Speaker 3: She's also a creator of the incredible company called flex Factory,
Speaker 3: which sells so many different things. I actually I remember
Speaker 3: the first thing I bought off flex Factory was chicken salt.
Speaker 3: And also I have bought her conversation games. But this
Speaker 3: website sells so many fun games. And she's also given
Speaker 3: us a code at the end, so make sure you
Speaker 3: listen for that. In the chat, we talk about her
Speaker 3: brand new book that is now out on pre order
Speaker 3: and that comes out a bit later in the year
Speaker 3: and the title is The Success Experiments. We get into
Speaker 3: what her book is about and what success means to her.
Speaker 3: We also chat about how she got into the industry,
Speaker 3: her leap from PR to being a DJ to where
Speaker 3: she is now, and just a whole bunch of other topics. Honestly,
Speaker 3: I loved, loved, loved this episode with Flex, and we
Speaker 3: also did like a quick fire questions with her conversation
Speaker 3: cards at the end too. So really fun, really interesting.
Speaker 3: You guys are going to love this, so I really
Speaker 3: hope you enjoy the podcast. Let's get straight into it.
Speaker 3: Lillian aka Flex, Welcome to the Rising Counker podcast.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 3: I'm so excited you're here and we're going to chat
Speaker 3: all things, your new book, business, your cards, lots and
Speaker 3: lots of things. But before we get into that, do
Speaker 3: you want to just give the audience a bit of
Speaker 3: a rundown of who you are and what you do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good one. So my name is technically Lillian,
Speaker 1: but I think that most people would know me by
Speaker 1: Flex in terms of what I do. Again, I feel
Speaker 1: like based on where you know me from, you'd have
Speaker 1: a different opinion of what I do. But if I
Speaker 1: had to list out my CV, I would be a
Speaker 1: TV presenter, a DJ, a podcaster, an author, a model,
Speaker 1: an influencer, and a business owner of a online store
Speaker 1: called Flex Factory that sells predominantly conversation card games that
Speaker 1: help you have chit chats that actually matter.
Speaker 3: You are definitely a multi passionate person, which I absolutely love,
Speaker 3: and I was so interested. So I remember I started
Speaker 3: following you maybe a couple of years ago, where you
Speaker 3: were more in the DJ space and you had just
Speaker 3: launched the Flex Store, and I remember my first purchase
Speaker 3: from you was the chicken salt.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's interesting because which is it's wild that like
Speaker 4: chicken salt right, it's odd, but I you're right, I
Speaker 4: do have like an entrepreneurial spirit, and it's one of
Speaker 4: those things where if you know me from DJing, the transition.
Speaker 1: Seems really bizarre because you're thinking, what's a DJ doing
Speaker 1: doing all of these other things? But I think I
Speaker 1: know that I am a DJ by career, not by passion.
Speaker 1: So I'm not someone who's like.
Speaker 2: Oh, music is like the one thing that I just love.
Speaker 1: I was given an opportunity when I was younger to DJ,
Speaker 1: and I did it, and I was able to turn
Speaker 1: it into a career. So I see the confusion for
Speaker 1: a lot of people, but it's the same kind of
Speaker 1: mentality I use for most things. I was given an
Speaker 1: opportunity or I saw an opportunity and I just did it.
Speaker 3: No, I absolutely love that, and I love that you
Speaker 3: actually pointed that out because I think sometimes people think,
Speaker 3: if they, you know, are going to go out and
Speaker 3: do something, it has to be their one and only passion,
Speaker 3: it has to be the thing they do for the
Speaker 3: rest of their life, and there's almost like a lot
Speaker 3: of pressure on it. Whereas I know kind of your background,
Speaker 3: where like you said, it was an opportunity, it popped up,
Speaker 3: you took it. It led to many other cool things,
Speaker 3: and I know you kind of still do it on
Speaker 3: the side. Do you want to tell us about the
Speaker 3: journey from I know you started in like PR and
Speaker 3: then you went to a DJ and now you have
Speaker 3: your own business. Tell us how you got to where
Speaker 3: you currently are.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say, I mean it's it's a very
Speaker 1: long window story that doesn't make a lot of sense.
Speaker 2: But basically the way it started.
Speaker 1: Was I was working in PR and digital marketing because
Speaker 1: I watched the hills and thought that it looked cool.
Speaker 1: There was no really rhyme or reason. And because I
Speaker 1: didn't have a good understanding of the business landscape, I
Speaker 1: was really unprepared for how hard it was going to be.
Speaker 1: And I'm not a behind the scenes type of girly.
Speaker 1: I like to take credit for my work, and that's
Speaker 1: not what PR is. PR is doing everything, getting it done,
Speaker 1: and the only way you get credit is if you
Speaker 1: win an award. So I recognize that I'm also someone
Speaker 1: who can put a lot of effort, and I garner
Speaker 1: a lot of my self worth from my output, and
Speaker 1: I create a lot of value from what I do
Speaker 1: not necessarily who I am, and so I recognized when
Speaker 1: I was about twenty that I just needed a hobby
Speaker 1: or something to distract me from kind of like the
Speaker 1: monotony of this day job. So I wasn't drinking. I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't drink, so I was going out a lot still,
Speaker 1: but really felt like, gosh, this gets boring when you're
Speaker 1: not drinking. So I thought like it would be sick
Speaker 1: if I could just have a I could get paid
Speaker 1: to be here. And I had some friends who adore
Speaker 1: girls who got paid to be in the club, so
Speaker 1: I was like, I want to do what you do.
Speaker 2: So I did that.
Speaker 1: Met some guys who were promoters, and I offered to
Speaker 1: help them with some pr and some business management. And
Speaker 1: essentially the thing that catapulted it all was that they
Speaker 1: were I was a door girl from nine to three am,
Speaker 1: but from nine to midnight I didn't really have a
Speaker 1: job because it was free entry, so I would just
Speaker 1: stand around talking to promoters all night. And these promoters
Speaker 1: were hosting this event and they had DJs from nine
Speaker 1: to midnight, DJs they were paying for. And I was saying,
Speaker 1: you know, that's a really bad use of your money.
Speaker 1: Because nobody's here, but you're you know, your expenses are
Speaker 1: so high because you know you're paying for people to
Speaker 1: be here, So why don't you just DJ and do
Speaker 1: it for free save yourself and your business and money.
Speaker 1: And they were like, oh yeah, but no, we don't
Speaker 1: really want to do that. We want to, you know,
Speaker 1: amplify other PEO people. And I was like that sounds good.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I want to DJ then if that's the case,
Speaker 1: and they said, well, you don't know how to, and
Speaker 1: I said, well I could learn. So the combination of
Speaker 1: YouTube those guys teaching me my brothers also knows how
Speaker 1: to produce music. And then suddenly, because I was have
Speaker 1: always been an outlandish dresser and you know, a person
Speaker 1: who's been interesting to look at people, just they bought
Speaker 1: into that. They were like, great, now we can have
Speaker 1: you at our club with your interesting looks and your
Speaker 1: interesting friends, and that'll encourage other interesting people to come
Speaker 1: to this club. And it did, and so before you
Speaker 1: knew it, within three to six months, I was doing
Speaker 1: maybe like twenty five hours of DJing a week, which
Speaker 1: is starting to cannibalize into my day job. And for
Speaker 1: the first time I was like, I could do something risky,
Speaker 1: you know, I could just quit my job and do
Speaker 1: this thing and be a DJ.
Speaker 2: How ridiculous, And.
Speaker 1: I was like, whatever worst case scenario, if it doesn't
Speaker 1: work out, I can just you know, go back and
Speaker 1: get a real job. But it did work out, and
Speaker 1: ever since then, I've just been kind of I don't
Speaker 1: even know if they're risky moves because they're calculated to
Speaker 1: some degree, but I've just been accepting opportunities when they
Speaker 1: present themselves because really, the worst that could happen is
Speaker 1: that I have to go and get a quote unquote
Speaker 1: real job.
Speaker 3: I quote unquote real job.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 3: I think when you say the whole you don't know
Speaker 3: if they are risks, I think they one hundred percent
Speaker 3: are because in society's eyes, like to do something like that,
Speaker 3: it's like a oh what is she doing? This might
Speaker 3: waste time, it's not a quote unquote real job. So
Speaker 3: to a lot of people it is a huge, huge risk.
Speaker 3: But I think for you, you're like, yeah, like let's
Speaker 3: do this, Let's see what comes and do you find that,
Speaker 3: Like after you took that initial risk with the DJing,
Speaker 3: that kind of taking risks got easier.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I felt invincible. I was like, let's line it up,
Speaker 1: what else can I do? Because it did get easier,
Speaker 1: because it was it became a really clear proof of concept.
Speaker 1: I did something that was risky and it worked out
Speaker 1: and it was beneficial, and it wasn't as hard as
Speaker 1: I had thought it was going to be. And that's
Speaker 1: not because the industry itself isn't a difficult one. It
Speaker 1: is really hard to become skilled and to market yourself
Speaker 1: and to monetize a creative skill. But I think my
Speaker 1: insecurities were and my projections of what it could be
Speaker 1: like were far more difficult. And so yeah, it made
Speaker 1: me invincible, But it also instilled me with a different
Speaker 1: sense of confidence, the confidence to try, which I think
Speaker 1: a lot of people struggle with because they wrap up
Speaker 1: a lot of their identity in the sphere of failing.
Speaker 1: Whereas I recognized that I'm going to probably fail quite
Speaker 1: a bit, but who cares, nobody's going to remain. People
Speaker 1: barely remember your success, let alone your failure. Just keep
Speaker 1: going at it. Honestly, I really think people only remember
Speaker 1: what sticks because it's sticky, and the rest just becomes
Speaker 1: a figment of the imagination.
Speaker 2: I really believe that.
Speaker 3: I love that little rant, and I couldn't agree more.
Speaker 3: I come from a background, Lilian, where I left my
Speaker 3: corporate law job to continue you know, on social media
Speaker 3: and then start my couple of businesses. And I remember
Speaker 3: I had, you know, done six years of study, got
Speaker 3: to that end point, done my pelty, got admitted, you know,
Speaker 3: to the bar or whatever they call it, and I
Speaker 3: remember people being like, are you serious, Like they just
Speaker 3: couldn't fathom in their head taking a different step. But
Speaker 3: for me, I was just like in my knowing of
Speaker 3: like it was so risky and so like it wasn't
Speaker 3: necessarily easy, but one hundred percent I do agree. Like
Speaker 3: then once you do that risky thing and you take
Speaker 3: it and you have that sort of feeling of like
Speaker 3: I can literally do anything, and also it's like yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: it's that feeling of like no, kind of like what's
Speaker 3: the worst that could happen? But also I remember that
Speaker 3: feeling of if I don't try this, I think I'm
Speaker 3: going to regret it, which for me was like too heavy.
Speaker 1: Then the absolutely and I personally think indecision is a
Speaker 1: far It's a far harder place to be than making
Speaker 1: a choice and sticking with it. Conviction is really easy
Speaker 1: because you only have yourself to blame if things go
Speaker 1: left or right, if things go good or bad, if
Speaker 1: things are right and wrong.
Speaker 2: But it's the indecision.
Speaker 1: That plagues you because you're so wrapped up in the
Speaker 1: fear of possibility, and possibility for a lot of people
Speaker 1: isn't hopeful. It's very fear inducing.
Speaker 2: If I don't, If I do, but this could happen,
Speaker 2: but I could get fired, blah blah.
Speaker 1: Make a choice, and I promise you you'll feel better
Speaker 1: knowing that you chose something, because even if it doesn't
Speaker 1: turn out, you can say with certainty it didn't work
Speaker 1: and you can move on.
Speaker 3: M I love that I use someone who's like quite
Speaker 3: in well, like I know you are better, I'll ask
Speaker 3: the question anyway, I use someone who's quite intuitive.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I actually I balance that intuition with a
Speaker 1: rational logic. I have this grandiose sense of self, which
Speaker 1: I feel like my mum instilled in me. She really
Speaker 1: made me feel confident about things that I had no
Speaker 1: business being confident about. I remember when I was younger,
Speaker 1: like I really wanted to get the gap in my
Speaker 1: tooth closed. I really want embraces for no good reason
Speaker 1: except that other people didn't have gaps in their teeth.
Speaker 1: And my mom was like, oh, no, like, I think
Speaker 1: that looks really lovely, and so many like culturally in Africa,
Speaker 1: usually gaps and teeth are signs of wealth and health
Speaker 1: and it's a really esteemed trait to have, and she
Speaker 1: was like, no, I think it's really lovely. And so
Speaker 1: only did she convince me that it was lovely because
Speaker 1: she thought it was lovely, and I believed what she believed,
Speaker 1: but also she went to the dentist and got a
Speaker 1: gap shaved in her tooth and like that to me,
Speaker 1: she didn't do it because she wanted me to feel better.
Speaker 1: She did it because she really believed that. She thought
Speaker 1: that I was beautiful. She thought my teeth are beautiful.
Speaker 1: She's like, what the fuck, Like, yes, this of course
Speaker 1: about the gap shaved in my tooth, what do you
Speaker 1: think this is? And so seeing her being so convicted,
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, fuck, that's so true, like I
Speaker 1: like it or you know, I don't feel insecure about
Speaker 1: my weight. I don't feel insecure about my level of
Speaker 1: intellect because I either have grown to feel comfortable with it.
Speaker 1: I've chosen to feel comfortable with it, or I'm working
Speaker 1: towards being better. So it's this kind of thing where
Speaker 1: I can recognize when I am giving advice or when
Speaker 1: I'm giving any kind of motivation of any kind, it's
Speaker 1: coming from a place where I trust myself and I
Speaker 1: have a level of confidence that allows me to feel
Speaker 1: secure in the things that I choose to do. And
Speaker 1: so I'm I'm not naive, and I understand that people
Speaker 1: don't have that same level of conviction, but if you
Speaker 1: do want to be the person who does things, it's
Speaker 1: important to develop some level of trust in yourself, whether
Speaker 1: your intuition or your skill set or your ability to rationalize.
Speaker 1: Give yourself a reason to trust yourself and the decisions
Speaker 1: that you end up making.
Speaker 3: M Wow, I love that story about like with your
Speaker 3: mum and the teeth. Like, I think the vibe that
Speaker 3: I got them was like, you're so self accepting that
Speaker 3: you're like, well, this is me, this is you know,
Speaker 3: my belief of who I am and how I show up.
Speaker 3: And yeah, like the confidence just like radiates off that too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess self accepting is a lovely phrase, And yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess that is it, Like it I am what
Speaker 1: I am until I decide to change.
Speaker 3: Yes, But also I think with self acceptance, like I
Speaker 3: think in order to change in the first place, like
Speaker 3: there always needs to be self acceptance because if you
Speaker 3: can accept yourself, like I talk about this concept of
Speaker 3: like you know, for me, confidence isn't walking into a
Speaker 3: room and thinking I'm better than all the people there.
Speaker 3: For me, confidence is walking into the room and not
Speaker 3: comparing myself because I have accepted myself, like you know,
Speaker 3: the flaws plus the attributes, and it's like I know
Speaker 3: who I am, I know where I stand. So I'm
Speaker 3: very grounded in that and I yeah, I very much
Speaker 3: get that feeling, with which I love absolutely and I
Speaker 3: would love also to chat about so you were so
Speaker 3: you were talking about, you know, you have this confidence
Speaker 3: which is huge and I love that your mum instilled
Speaker 3: that with you. And also, like you said, like you
Speaker 3: go on throughout your timeline where you're making these risky choices,
Speaker 3: but then it gets easier and you trust yourself more.
Speaker 3: And I think I think that's also huge because on
Speaker 3: this podcast, I have a lot of people and women who,
Speaker 3: you know, maybe they have a side hustle, maybe they're
Speaker 3: about to leave their job and A huge thing is
Speaker 3: instilling that trust. And I just love what you spoke
Speaker 3: about in regards to like, if you don't trust yourself
Speaker 3: and if you don't make those moves, then it's like
Speaker 3: who will? And I would love to finish this little
Speaker 3: bit of the conversation before we go on to your
Speaker 3: brand new book with just any advice you would have
Speaker 3: for someone who is about to make that big, at
Speaker 3: you know, risky choice.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think the part of what I'm learning in therapy
Speaker 1: is that I have this preoccupation with control and that
Speaker 1: I feel as though I have the ability and the
Speaker 1: free will to control my outcome and my environment and
Speaker 1: all that good stuff.
Speaker 2: And I do to a point.
Speaker 1: But I think what some people forget to let you
Speaker 1: know about making choices, that you're only responsible for half
Speaker 1: of the result. You can do the exact right thing,
Speaker 1: say in the exact right way, produce it in the
Speaker 1: exact right way, and it still might not work because
Speaker 1: you can't control how the people perceive you, or your
Speaker 1: ideas or your experiences. So when you are building a
Speaker 1: sense of trust in yourself, do it knowing that you
Speaker 1: can't control the outcome, but that you can only set
Speaker 1: yourself up just enough to ensure that you've done everything
Speaker 1: on your part to make sure it happens with the
Speaker 1: way that you intend. But you can also build resilience
Speaker 1: to keep going if it doesn't work the first time
Speaker 1: you try.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, I love that. That's the most original little
Speaker 3: piece of advice we've had on the podcast. And I
Speaker 3: love that you're very open about, you know, going to therapy.
Speaker 3: I see a psychologists and it was the best thing
Speaker 3: I ever did. All right, Flex, let's and I am
Speaker 3: going in between Lily and Flex and I do apologie.
Speaker 3: I love it. It feels it feels natural. But let's chat
Speaker 3: about your book. So you have a brand new book
Speaker 3: that has just gone on pre sale. I'm so excited.
Speaker 3: I'm like a bit of a so of help junkie.
Speaker 3: I need to say any sort of yeah, like anything
Speaker 3: like that. I'm like, oh, yes, I cannot wait. So
Speaker 3: I'm very excited. And first of all, congratulations, that's like.
Speaker 2: Huge, very huge.
Speaker 3: Can you tell the listeners at just a little brief
Speaker 3: overview of what the book is about.
Speaker 1: Yes, So the book is called The Success Experiment, and
Speaker 1: for some context, basically I think for the for the
Speaker 1: for the larger part of my career, people have been
Speaker 1: asking me to essentially explain how I did what I
Speaker 1: did to get to where I got, and I feel
Speaker 1: I don't feel insecure with giving people advice, because all
Speaker 1: advice is good advice, But there are so many different
Speaker 1: variables that pertain to why I was able to achieve
Speaker 1: success in the way that I did it because I
Speaker 1: am me and I wanted the things that I want,
Speaker 1: and I did it in the way that I wanted
Speaker 1: to and the industry received me in a certain way.
Speaker 2: And blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: So I didn't feel convicted in telling people that this
Speaker 1: is what you could do for your own bespoke kind
Speaker 1: of success, and so my publisher ended up ask me, well,
Speaker 1: what do you want, Like, what can you give people
Speaker 1: if you don't feel confident that what you did is
Speaker 1: what they can do to achieve their kind of success.
Speaker 1: And then it hit me. I told my publisher, and
Speaker 1: this is what the book's about, that I wanted to
Speaker 1: conduct an experiment and I'm hypothesizing that if people replicate
Speaker 1: and imitate the steps that I use to create my
Speaker 1: own bespoke form of success, they two in some way,
Speaker 1: can create their own form of success and by doing that,
Speaker 1: it requires six distinct steps that I can give you,
Speaker 1: but it's up to you to figure out how to
Speaker 1: integrate that in your own personal story. And those six
Speaker 1: steps of figuring out who you are number one, because
Speaker 1: I think what people don't recognize is that who you
Speaker 1: are will impact what you want and how you can
Speaker 1: get it far more than you recognize. We can all
Speaker 1: read the same quote, the same business book, the same message,
Speaker 1: and interpret it a thousand different ways. And what you
Speaker 1: need to understand is how you're interpreting and perceiving your
Speaker 1: environment and the success that you make. The second step
Speaker 1: is who you want to be, because I think that
Speaker 1: a big part of growth is understanding that, yes, we
Speaker 1: can be self accepting and we can know who we are,
Speaker 1: but you need to recognize that changes need to be
Speaker 1: made in order for you to have the thing you
Speaker 1: don't have. We can't just be sitting here in a vacuum,
Speaker 1: untouched by the world around us and expect to gain
Speaker 1: this sense of growth. It doesn't happen that way. And
Speaker 1: then step three is discovering what you want. Because again
Speaker 1: people do not know what they want. They start to
Speaker 1: look for these arbitrary queues to tell them like, this
Speaker 1: is what success is. Therefore, I want that, I want
Speaker 1: a business, I want money, I want that partner. But
Speaker 1: when you strip away all those really arbitrary ideas, what
Speaker 1: do you want? Do you want to feel seen? Do
Speaker 1: you want to feel valued? Do you want to feel heard?
Speaker 1: Do you want to feel motivated? Do you want enough
Speaker 1: money to live on a farm. That's really important to understand.
Speaker 1: And then the fourth step is why do you want
Speaker 1: that thing? What do you think getting that will do
Speaker 1: for you?
Speaker 2: Actually?
Speaker 1: What ideas have you projected onto this fantasy it's going
Speaker 1: to fulfill you? Because we need to break that down
Speaker 1: immediately and become as objective as we can about the
Speaker 1: things that we want and what we feel they'll do
Speaker 1: for us. Then step five is how to get it?
Speaker 1: Because that's what these books never fucking tell you, How
Speaker 1: do I actually get the thing? So I created a
Speaker 1: fifteen step system that will help you do exactly that.
Speaker 1: It's a system that I use quite often. I think
Speaker 1: it's very self explanatory. But the reason why I put
Speaker 1: it a step five is because you can't skip all
Speaker 1: these really crucial foundational building blocks to get what you want.
Speaker 1: You have to do all that foundational work. So whatever
Speaker 1: you build on top is built on top of a
Speaker 1: surface that isn't breakable. It's built with trust and conviction
Speaker 1: and certainty that you as a person is not self
Speaker 1: sabotaging your goals. And then the sixth step is what
Speaker 1: to do when you get it? Because I think a
Speaker 1: lot of us are under the impression that success is
Speaker 1: a linear journey, like once I get it, it's done. No,
Speaker 1: the bench post always moves, the ideas always change. Your
Speaker 1: want to needs are malleable and they are going to change.
Speaker 1: So what's going to happen when you've done a year,
Speaker 1: two years, three years, six months of pinning for this
Speaker 1: one thing only to realize that you want something else?
Speaker 1: And that is the success experiment. So I'm really proud
Speaker 1: of it, and I think, finally I'm at this point
Speaker 1: where I'm so comfortable giving this insight because it relies
Speaker 1: on me to have known that that's what I do
Speaker 1: and that's what works for me. But it's also putting
Speaker 1: the onus on the reader to understand. I can't tell
Speaker 1: you who you are, I can't tell you what you want,
Speaker 1: I can't tell you why you want it, but I
Speaker 1: can tell you that if you learn those things about
Speaker 1: yourself and then use this tool for how to get it,
Speaker 1: you'll get as close as you possibly humanly can. Wow.
Speaker 3: I was just taking that all in and I am
Speaker 3: so excited. I love steps. I'm a step person, so
Speaker 3: the fact that it has six steps, I'm all about it.
Speaker 3: And I thought you broke it, broke down down so
Speaker 3: well and I would love for you to touch on
Speaker 3: So A huge thing that I also chat about too
Speaker 3: is like knowing what you want, and I think I
Speaker 3: love that you are, like that's step three. And I
Speaker 3: think some people, yeah, like you said, they have these
Speaker 3: like kind of arbitrary things of I want money or
Speaker 3: I want this car I want to yeah. But then really,
Speaker 3: when we unpack that, it's like, do you just want
Speaker 3: that because you know, to impress your neighbor, yeah, or
Speaker 3: because you think that job is super easy and kind
Speaker 3: of getting like the I guess the behind reason of it.
Speaker 3: Do you find that sometimes when you decide what you want,
Speaker 3: then you really get into like why you want it,
Speaker 3: that it might change.
Speaker 2: Absolutely.
Speaker 1: I'm constantly fighting between what i want and why I
Speaker 1: want it, only because I'm someone who at the core
Speaker 1: I'm very motivated by value and having my value recognized.
Speaker 1: So I end up seeking opportunities that validate me rather
Speaker 1: than nourish me. So it becomes a slippery slope because
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, my goodness, Like here I am doing
Speaker 1: these amazing things. Everybody thinks I'm great, But then in reality,
Speaker 1: I just want five days to sit down and play
Speaker 1: with some crafts.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: I want to paint, I want to like plant something.
Speaker 1: I want to cultivate and nurture and exercise my creative
Speaker 1: liberties and these things. You know, if you're somebody who creates,
Speaker 1: often those things you feel sensitive about it.
Speaker 2: I don't want people.
Speaker 1: Critiquing my art, and so some of the things that
Speaker 1: I hold so closely I don't want to share. But
Speaker 1: I'm in the business of sharing, you know, and letting
Speaker 1: people in and giving and giving. So I'm always trying
Speaker 1: to find that balance between how much can I give
Speaker 1: without literally taking for myself so the benefit of people
Speaker 1: who don't recognize how hard it is for me to
Speaker 1: give this part of myself and leave it up to critique.
Speaker 2: So it is it is like a push and pull.
Speaker 1: But like I said, the only reason why I know
Speaker 1: that I'm motivated buy value and having my value recognized
Speaker 1: is from knowing who I am, and that's step number one.
Speaker 1: I couldn't have got to know what I want unless
Speaker 1: I knew fundamentally who I am and why I am
Speaker 1: that way. And you know, I think that when I
Speaker 1: wrote that chapter, it wasn't I didn't write it for
Speaker 1: people to for people to know how to explain who
Speaker 1: they are in twenty five words or less. No, I
Speaker 1: did it so you could have more context for yourself,
Speaker 1: and so you wouldn't feel limited by, you know, the
Speaker 1: success that it's available to other people. Because if you're
Speaker 1: motivated by helping people and you feel a lot of
Speaker 1: value within yourself when you can be of service to others,
Speaker 1: then maybe don't go work in an industry that requires
Speaker 1: you to exploit people. That's not going to work for
Speaker 1: you. You know. Maybe don't work in an industry where it's
Speaker 1: sales based because that's not intrinsically helping people. You know,
Speaker 1: Maybe work in an industry where you can, or maybe
Speaker 1: don't work. Maybe be the person who's always there to
Speaker 1: lend a helping hand, Be the person who offers to
Speaker 1: walk somebody across the road, Be the person who offers
Speaker 1: to help somebody move like that could be a source
Speaker 1: of value and success for you. But yeah, it all matters.
Speaker 3: A one hundred percent, And I think that's huge in
Speaker 3: regards to your final step of like what you do
Speaker 3: once you get there, because if you're chasing this thing
Speaker 3: that realistically it's just because you know, society has put
Speaker 3: this expectation on you. Let's just say, for example, to
Speaker 3: buy a house. But in your true like nature and
Speaker 3: who you are, and you know your alignment with who
Speaker 3: you are, if that's not actually important, then once you
Speaker 3: get to the end, it's not going to feel successful,
Speaker 3: if that makes exactly. And I would also love to
Speaker 3: chat about So number six is you know what you
Speaker 3: do once you get it? And this is this is
Speaker 3: a bit of a selfish crushing because I am the
Speaker 3: worst for achieving something and then literally looking to the
Speaker 3: next goal. And I am one hundred percent think I'm
Speaker 3: a I'm a bit addicted, let's be honest, because I do.
Speaker 3: I love I just love like doing things and putting
Speaker 3: ideas out there and then seeing them, you know, come
Speaker 3: to life. And I really love the hustle and the grind,
Speaker 3: even though a lot of the time it burns me out.
Speaker 3: So a huge thing that I'm actually trying to do
Speaker 3: right now is like sit in the receivership of like
Speaker 3: when you actually you know, finish something or a you know,
Speaker 3: quote unquote, are successful of actually like sitting in that
Speaker 3: and seeing what that feels like, because I think so
Speaker 3: many times I just brush over it, and what are
Speaker 3: your thoughts on that? And what's something that you do?
Speaker 3: You know, sort of at that end point.
Speaker 1: I'm with you exactly. And for the longest time, I
Speaker 1: think I had the same perspective you had, which is,
Speaker 1: oh no, I recognize that I'm not taking the time
Speaker 1: to relish in my achievements. What can I do? And
Speaker 1: I think we have a similar mindset when we try
Speaker 1: to logic and achieve our way out of like just
Speaker 1: the logic of being like, oh no, I can't take
Speaker 1: the time to settle into my achievement. Let me figure
Speaker 1: it out, let me apply a solution, let me do this.
Speaker 1: And that's like the antithesis of what you need to
Speaker 1: be doing. It's almost like to really accept it or
Speaker 1: to really celebrate it, you do nothing. You accept whatever
Speaker 1: feeling is coming across and you recognize it like, oh okay,
Speaker 1: that's how I'm feeling, then that's how I'm feeling. I
Speaker 1: think a part of me recognized early on is that
Speaker 1: I've set myself up in the way that like, I'm
Speaker 1: not recognizing that I'm someone who likes to achieve for
Speaker 1: achieving sake. And then it's not that I know I
Speaker 1: can fix, it's the it's the reality of this situation
Speaker 1: I'm in. And so long as I keep putting myselves
Speaker 1: in situations where I'm creating to create value to be
Speaker 1: validated for that value, that it's going to be a
Speaker 1: cyclical loop that I can't get out of unless I
Speaker 1: cate value for me and not for the validation of others.
Speaker 1: So in the last chapter we talk a lot about
Speaker 1: retrospectively figuring out why you're even in this spot where
Speaker 1: we now have to talk about success and what it
Speaker 1: means to you and why you're achieving.
Speaker 2: Did you scratch that itch?
Speaker 1: Or are we now literally back at square one when
Speaker 1: we're going back to self analysis?
Speaker 2: Who am I?
Speaker 1: Because I'm the person like like, why am I this
Speaker 1: way that I can get to the end of a
Speaker 1: book about succeeding and want to talk about what to
Speaker 1: do now that I've succeeded. In reality, we should be done.
Speaker 1: You know, we did it, but no, the nature of
Speaker 1: it is that, like we go back to square one,
Speaker 1: and while we may not be looking for material success
Speaker 1: this time, we might be looking for spiritual success. So
Speaker 1: we start from scratch. Who am I? I'm a person
Speaker 1: motivated by material things? Why is that the case? I
Speaker 1: don't know, it feels good, blah blah blah, and then
Speaker 1: you know, the cycle continues. So that's the spoiler that
Speaker 1: the success experiment never.
Speaker 3: I was just thinking then, I was like, I need
Speaker 3: a journal because she's got a point one hundred percent that.
Speaker 3: It is interesting though, because it's like very typical of
Speaker 3: my personality to go, oh, well, now I'm you know,
Speaker 3: aka successful. How should I feel? And I'm not feeling
Speaker 3: that way?
Speaker 2: So what do I do? Now? Yeah, that's really funny.
Speaker 2: Have you done your niogram?
Speaker 3: You skilled me there, puddon.
Speaker 2: Have you done your eneagram?
Speaker 3: I haven't?
Speaker 2: Oh I really recommend what are you? Three?
Speaker 3: Like, I'm kind of okay, So niagram is it's what's
Speaker 3: the three?
Speaker 1: So basically, don't think of this as like the Mayers
Speaker 1: Briggs because as much as I have utilized that tool
Speaker 1: in the past. It really isn't sophisticated enough to really
Speaker 1: understand the scope and depth of human behavior. The enneagram
Speaker 1: is essentially it's not a typing system. It's a it's
Speaker 1: like a self analysis tool where you can figure out,
Speaker 1: you know, if you're operating in a healthy form, how
Speaker 1: are you being perceived? What type are you perceived as?
Speaker 1: When you're healthily operating, what type are you perceived as?
Speaker 1: And when you are in a state of you know,
Speaker 1: deterioration or you're going with the flow or whatever, what
Speaker 1: are you what are you being perceived as? So I'm
Speaker 1: a three, which means that my archetype is an achiever.
Speaker 1: I like to do things. I like to be validated
Speaker 1: for doing things. I like a system. I like winning,
Speaker 1: I like succeeding. I like also I like people knowing
Speaker 1: that I am these things. So it's it's I if
Speaker 1: I achieve in a room and nobody sees did I achieve?
Speaker 3: No, what's even the point?
Speaker 2: What's the point.
Speaker 1: So so that's that's what I know about myself. And
Speaker 1: so it talks about you're giving like this fifty page
Speaker 1: pdf about yourself, but it talks about the basic fears
Speaker 1: of a three and the motivations of A three. And
Speaker 1: what we've recognized with three achievers myself, is that achievers
Speaker 1: don't just do it for this internal sense of gratitude,
Speaker 1: because most achievers know they could sit in a room
Speaker 1: and watch Netflix for six hours and not feel.
Speaker 2: Bad about it.
Speaker 1: But it's this idea of like, once you've set your
Speaker 1: mind to achieving, now everybody needs to know. Everybody has
Speaker 1: to validate it. Everybody has to know you're own track.
Speaker 1: Everybody has to know that you're doing the right thing.
Speaker 1: And it's great until you get to a point where
Speaker 1: the validation doesn't feel good anymore because you already know
Speaker 1: you have the capacity. If you knew how to write,
Speaker 1: if you knew how to run a business in twenty ten,
Speaker 1: and you're still getting compliments in twenty twenty, well that's
Speaker 1: not that exciting. You've been doing it, and so you
Speaker 1: look for new ways to be validated, and then it
Speaker 1: becomes a really empty transaction because you're not looking for real,
Speaker 1: sustaining self celebration. You're looking for really empty indicators that
Speaker 1: you're on the right track, but you already know it.
Speaker 1: And so the thing about the enneagram is it puts
Speaker 1: into perspective that.
Speaker 2: It just puts.
Speaker 1: It just helps you reflect yourself back at you and
Speaker 1: helps you kind of recognize the areas where you might
Speaker 1: be your own enemy of progress and you might be
Speaker 1: the reason for you know, this internal dissatisfaction. So me
Speaker 1: a three and achiever fascinated with success, writing a book
Speaker 1: on how to succeed getting to step six and starting
Speaker 1: it at step one now that the book is finished
Speaker 1: is inherently my problem.
Speaker 3: But here I am, Oh my god, I'm actually losing it.
Speaker 3: Do you think I'm a three two? Because I'm kind
Speaker 3: of feeling think you're a three?
Speaker 2: Threes everything recognize threes because I'm.
Speaker 3: Like, yeah, sorry, you go realistically if.
Speaker 1: It doesn't really work, the same with other types, like
Speaker 1: I don't think of a one season one and says
Speaker 1: you're a one, I'm a one. But the three is
Speaker 1: in particular. So much of what we do is this.
Speaker 1: It's not necessarily external validation, but it's externalizing our achievements.
Speaker 1: Threes don't achieve quietly, and it's not like we're going
Speaker 1: to be sitting here being like, look at me, I'm succeeding,
Speaker 1: but it's clear to others that we have achieved. You
Speaker 1: know even if we said I don't feel successful, somebody
Speaker 1: around us, whether it be a friend a stranger, will
Speaker 1: validate that, No, you are in fact successful. So that's
Speaker 1: why I think threes can find it easy to see
Speaker 1: each other, Because if I'm looking at you and I
Speaker 1: can recognize that you're successful, part of me is like, Okay,
Speaker 1: am I mirroring?
Speaker 2: Am I reflecting? Am I am? I? Like? Thirsty for that?
Speaker 2: Do I want some of that? Do I want to
Speaker 2: bask in it? You know?
Speaker 1: It's very interesting, but I think it would If you're
Speaker 1: already someone who's interested in self development, then that's a
Speaker 1: natural extension that I think is far more beneficial than
Speaker 1: a lot of these very basic one dimensional typing systems are.
Speaker 3: I absolutely love that one hundred percent. I love doing
Speaker 3: tests in myself too. A bit of a sign I
Speaker 3: would do that I did. Have you had your human design, ran, Yeah,
Speaker 3: I have?
Speaker 2: What are you? I'm a manifesting generator?
Speaker 3: Fucking stop it? So am I though?
Speaker 2: Of course?
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that's why I was like, I bet
Speaker 3: she's a myth person generator. Well, I'm one hundred percent
Speaker 3: of three too. I just know it. I feel like
Speaker 3: I'm self aware enough but I will do it and
Speaker 3: then confirm email or DM. Yeah, i'd love to know
Speaker 3: you know, we're on point. I love that and I
Speaker 3: think it is huge. Also what you said of like
Speaker 3: being self aware enough about Yeah, like we were talking
Speaker 3: about of what makes you you know, what tickles your
Speaker 3: fancy and what lets you up, because that's the whole
Speaker 3: thing of being successful. It's going to be so different
Speaker 3: for everything. And just to finish off our confo about
Speaker 3: the book, can you kind of define and I don't
Speaker 3: know if you will, but what does success mean to you?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Personally, success is the ability to like try, achieve and
Speaker 1: sustain a form of contentment that works for you in
Speaker 1: that time. And I think for me, once I developed
Speaker 1: that own definition for myself, it allowed me to It
Speaker 1: allowed me to create moments of success in anything I
Speaker 1: was doing. Instead of saying the business, you know, the
Speaker 1: money or whatever, it was like, No, I just need
Speaker 1: to try and sustain any form of contentment and that
Speaker 1: will be enough for me because I think what I
Speaker 1: only realized through doing stuff is that I felt far
Speaker 1: better doing far less, you know, like somehow spending eight
Speaker 1: hours making a pair of pants for myself because I
Speaker 1: wanted them can in some ways feel far greater than
Speaker 1: you know, running a really profitable business some days like
Speaker 1: a who would have thought?
Speaker 2: But now I know?
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that is like so funny but so
Speaker 3: so true and well, like you said, that's the whole
Speaker 3: thing of like knowing yourself. So I love that definition
Speaker 3: of success. I'm not gonna lie. I'll have to like
Speaker 3: debunk it. I really listened to this episode because it
Speaker 3: was like intricate, but I did, I did enjoy it.
Speaker 2: What's yours definition? Putting me on.
Speaker 3: The spot, I guess my this is this basic bitch.
Speaker 3: I feel like a basic bitch now after your definition, bit,
Speaker 3: I think my definition of success is like again, contentment
Speaker 3: and happiness in the right now, so in the process
Speaker 3: as well, Like I'm a huge person of enjoying the process,
Speaker 3: not just the end result. So you don't get to
Speaker 3: like what am I even doing? So that's why I
Speaker 3: had very much created my life where and I never
Speaker 3: used to be like that previously. I used to be
Speaker 3: that person who lived for the weekend, lived for the holidays,
Speaker 3: like that was you know, in my corporate box. But
Speaker 3: now I very much like for me, success is if
Speaker 3: I'm finished a workday, and I'm like, you know, I've
Speaker 3: enjoyed it and I'm not, you know, wishing away my life.
Speaker 3: If that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm with you. Happiness is a tricky one for me.
Speaker 1: I steer clear of that one just in case. It
Speaker 1: feels so fleeting that I'm kind of like, I'll do contentment.
Speaker 1: And part of me thinks because of the industries that
Speaker 1: we're in, you know, like I was saying to myself,
Speaker 1: I don't when I was talking to my business partner
Speaker 1: the other day and I was like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to do things that don't feel good, like it doesn't
Speaker 1: feel right, and she was like, I get it, and
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, fuck, I just sound
Speaker 1: so entitled because we've been able to create this reality
Speaker 1: where we can just do things that feel good because
Speaker 1: it's the privilege we've been given from you know, being
Speaker 1: an influencer, running your own business, whatever you want to
Speaker 1: call it. But it doesn't necessarily translate outside of this
Speaker 1: direct type of living, you know, Like I think about
Speaker 1: all the other people who don't have the privilege of
Speaker 1: just choosing happiness, because like everything around you is like, no,
Speaker 1: you've got to choose stability, you've got to chose use security,
Speaker 1: you've gotta choose consistency. You can't choose happiness, which is
Speaker 1: so unfair.
Speaker 3: But that's I literally you said that, and I was
Speaker 3: resonating so much because I think sometimes and it's it's
Speaker 3: funny you said that because my marketing manager for Naked
Speaker 3: Harvest the other day we were talking about something and
Speaker 3: she wanted to do something like kind of like a
Speaker 3: proper PR way, and I was like, no, it doesn't
Speaker 3: feel good to me. We're doing it this way, which
Speaker 3: like really didn't make sense. So she's just looking at
Speaker 3: me like, all right, fucking hell, we'll do it this way, Georgie.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But for me, that's how I run my business, where
Speaker 3: it's like very much intuition, like does it feel good
Speaker 3: to me? And it just works out. And I one
Speaker 3: hundred percent do realize that comes with so much privilege
Speaker 3: in regards to me living the life I do and whatnot.
Speaker 3: I just thought that's so interesting that you said that,
Speaker 3: because I just had that conversation.
Speaker 2: I think.
Speaker 3: I was like laughing. I think also though, if it's
Speaker 3: not like it's not like every single workday, I'm like, fuck,
Speaker 3: that was the best workday. Ever, Like, definitely, I have
Speaker 3: a cool job, but I do some cool things, but
Speaker 3: it's like some workdays, it's not the best thing. But
Speaker 3: I think for me, the definition of success is is
Speaker 3: there some part of my day that I found joy?
Speaker 3: And that's why I'm a huge person on like my
Speaker 3: morning routine where I literally take two hours out of
Speaker 3: my day to like do my thing and stuff like that.
Speaker 3: Of like touching on maybe it doesn't have to be
Speaker 3: the whole time, but did I get joy out of today? Yeah,
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Speaker 3: Well let's switch gears and before we get onto your
Speaker 3: flex Factory and your flex card games, which I'm literally
Speaker 3: obsessed with, and I've got them in front of me
Speaker 3: so we can play a little bit at the end.
Speaker 3: But I just wanted to touch on social media because I
Speaker 3: started following you a couple of years ago, and you
Speaker 3: really are someone I enjoy on social media, Like I
Speaker 3: have muted so many people just because I'm like, what
Speaker 3: are you even giving to my life apart from you know,
Speaker 3: I don't know some shitty products that I know you
Speaker 3: probably don't use. So I absolutely love you on Instagram,
Speaker 3: and I just wanted to know your thoughts, like how
Speaker 3: do you feel about yourself? And I know you are
Speaker 3: super self aware, how do you feel about yourself on
Speaker 3: social media? Do you like you know the role you play?
Speaker 3: And I know also you won that award for was
Speaker 3: it social Media Staff from E.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Social Star of the Year twenty twenty from eo.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's like yeah from either It's like so impressive
Speaker 3: and like big congratulations, so well deserved, but yeah, how
Speaker 3: do you feel about the whole social media thing?
Speaker 1: It's interesting because I could critique it for days and
Speaker 1: days and days and pull it apart, but realize that
Speaker 1: I benefit from the system that's so corrupt. Similar to you,
Speaker 1: there are a lot of people that I just feel like, Gosh,
Speaker 1: give me something. And that's not to say I want
Speaker 1: people to be like educators, entertainers or whatever, but we
Speaker 1: really have outgrown the need for like vapid influencers and celebrities.
Speaker 1: And that's not to say you overcorrect and become a
Speaker 1: a lecturer, but there's something about the vapid nature of
Speaker 1: celebrity that really fit our lifestyle a couple of years ago,
Speaker 1: when we were living in delusions and life was just
Speaker 1: you know, life was a fairy tale. But like, we're
Speaker 1: in a pandemic, where in an environment where we're acutely
Speaker 1: aware of how systemic issues are impacting people.
Speaker 2: We are aware of like the disparity.
Speaker 1: Between people who are able to live comfortably in people
Speaker 1: whose governments don't even exist for their own benefit. So
Speaker 1: when you log on the internet and you have someone
Speaker 1: being like, oh my god, like I need your help.
Speaker 1: Do I do the red lipstick or do I do
Speaker 1: the orange lipstick? Hey, everyone, I need your help. Do
Speaker 1: you want me to wear this Apple watch band or
Speaker 1: this Apple watch band, and it's like, I don't care.
Speaker 2: So I I found it.
Speaker 1: I used to find it really hard being an influencer
Speaker 1: a couple of years ago, because I wanted so dearly
Speaker 1: to fit the stereotype and to try and do it
Speaker 1: the way it had been done, because that was getting
Speaker 1: so much success. If you were a flat lay, bikini
Speaker 1: shot fitness, a skewed influencer five years ago, you know,
Speaker 1: healthy meals, outfit of the day, quote influencer, that really
Speaker 1: was the space for you, hyper positive, all that shit.
Speaker 1: That was so great, but it didn't really reflect the
Speaker 1: conversation I was having. And I already had struggled with
Speaker 1: feeling like a caricature of myself only because like being
Speaker 1: a black Australian person, especially people only really know Black
Speaker 1: American culture, not like African culture or Australian culture. So
Speaker 1: I was constantly having to like fit this mold for people.
Speaker 1: I'm like, babes, I don't have an accent, I don't
Speaker 1: know about American culture like that, I can't help you.
Speaker 1: So I think I was just a little bit sensitive
Speaker 1: to being perceived as somebody I was not that I
Speaker 1: personally overcorrected and was like, they have to know everything
Speaker 1: about me, they have to know that I'm being real, authentic.
Speaker 1: I took a shit today, I'm on my period, like
Speaker 1: this is what I think, this is what I believe, whatever.
Speaker 1: And it was great because it created this standard that
Speaker 1: I could be myself completely online, which I love. But
Speaker 1: it's also created this standard that people you know, feel
Speaker 1: and to some extent, are entitled to my thoughts at
Speaker 1: any given time, and my opinions and my wants and
Speaker 1: my needs. And as much as I love to talk,
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk to strangers all day like
Speaker 1: I and not necessarily just strangers, but strangers I have
Speaker 1: no context for you and I had can have this
Speaker 1: conversation because there's a context for why we're doing it
Speaker 1: and who we are. But a lot of the time
Speaker 1: it feels like I'm just giving us like things that
Speaker 1: I hold dearly to myself, like my thoughts, for nothing,
Speaker 1: and then being scrutinized or then having to justify them.
Speaker 1: I don't want to justify myself. So it's a tricky
Speaker 1: landscape to exist in. Because I can recognize the benefits
Speaker 1: of what I get from existing in this place but
Speaker 1: I think it's definitely reached a point where it's not
Speaker 1: as valuable to me as it once was, in the
Speaker 1: sense that there's a cap on how much you can
Speaker 1: make based on how many follows you can have, based
Speaker 1: on how much effort you want to put in and
Speaker 1: how much time you want to spend on the internet,
Speaker 1: and when you want to manage your social media in
Speaker 1: a manageable way. It literally like it's not as beneficial,
Speaker 1: Like you literally have to give everything you have in
Speaker 1: order for it to be beneficial, and that's not worth
Speaker 1: it for me. And that's where I'm at currently.
Speaker 3: I'm just taking it all in one hundred percent. I
Speaker 3: agree with what you're saying in regards to it being tricky,
Speaker 3: because there's this on one side of social media where
Speaker 3: me and you both like get so much from it
Speaker 3: and have that privilege of yeah, earning money from it
Speaker 3: and having status and those sorts of things which would
Speaker 3: have been such a catalyst and so many things that
Speaker 3: you have then done, you know, after social media. So
Speaker 3: one hundred percent, it's not like it's a platform that
Speaker 3: I hate or I can't stand. But I am also
Speaker 3: loving that people are being more smart and are I
Speaker 3: guess expecting more substance from influences, Like I think it
Speaker 3: can kind of go almost too far sometimes, Like I
Speaker 3: know recently, well just in twenty twenty, we had so
Speaker 3: many political movements and we had a lot going on,
Speaker 3: and I remember feeling some pressure of having to speak
Speaker 3: about things that I really, you know, didn't have any
Speaker 3: knowledge about, and if you took time to have knowledge
Speaker 3: and to read, it was, oh, well you're you were, yeah, scrutinized.
Speaker 3: So it can be almost this hard space to navigate,
Speaker 3: but also this really positive space. But in saying that,
Speaker 3: I do agree in regards, so I think we are
Speaker 3: going into a better place where influencers also do have
Speaker 3: more of a responsibility. Like I can't remember who I
Speaker 3: was chatting to the other day, but it was almost
Speaker 3: like I remember, the influencer space was like the wild
Speaker 3: wild West. Literally they could do anything. Everything was believed,
Speaker 3: whereas now people more Chloe, people do expect more substance,
Speaker 3: like they do want to not just see an emoji
Speaker 3: in a photo. Yeah, well some you know, some people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, still there's a lot of but yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, And I am kind of liking that people
Speaker 3: are going that way, and it to be completely honest
Speaker 3: with you, like I used to be one of those
Speaker 3: very one dimensional because yeah, like that's like or that's
Speaker 3: all I kind of knew and all that was expected.
Speaker 3: And that's honestly like where a lot of my account
Speaker 3: grew because I was the back in the day, you know,
Speaker 3: before and after girl with the fitness photo. And I
Speaker 3: remember also, yeah, just I remember feeling like there was
Speaker 3: this pivotal moment where I'm like, I can even keep
Speaker 3: doing this one dimensional shit where I know in you know,
Speaker 3: myself and who I am that it's like, I know
Speaker 3: I'm more than this. I know I have an actual voice.
Speaker 3: Like who knows if anyone wants to hear it or not,
Speaker 3: But for me, it was like I couldn't be on
Speaker 3: the platform and not share my authentic self because it
Speaker 3: was just to that you know, pivotal moment. So I
Speaker 3: feel like we are kind of similar in that thing.
Speaker 1: And I guess for the longest time, it's been influencers
Speaker 1: dictating what the platform is and how it should go.
Speaker 1: Like influencers among them created trends, and then other influencers followed,
Speaker 1: and then that created the tone for the rest of
Speaker 1: the Internet. Now it's consumers like, they set the tone.
Speaker 1: Who you give your likes to, who you engage with
Speaker 1: is who gets to be on top. It's algorithmic. It's
Speaker 1: not about preferences. It's literally about consumer and user behavior.
Speaker 1: And so I feel as though once audience members, consumers,
Speaker 1: whatever you want to call them, recognize that they are
Speaker 1: responsible for a lot of the people who remain on top,
Speaker 1: suddenly they've got to be more discerning with who you
Speaker 1: choose to hate, watch, hate, follow, because on the algorithm's end,
Speaker 1: a watch is a watch, a follows a follow, a
Speaker 1: like is a like, A share as a share, And
Speaker 1: the more you do those things, the more it amplifies
Speaker 1: those content creators. And so if you want to see
Speaker 1: more enriching stuff on your feet, and I'm not talking
Speaker 1: just educational, like, if you want to see people who
Speaker 1: look like you, who think like you, who like what
Speaker 1: you like, then you have to validate those creators for existing.
Speaker 1: They might only have one thousand followers two thousand followers,
Speaker 1: but like, they need your like and follow more than
Speaker 1: a celebrity with sixteen million needs your like and follow.
Speaker 3: No, I love that, and that's huge. Like, I think
Speaker 3: we all kind of know by now, we get to
Speaker 3: choose what shows up in our feed, and we should
Speaker 3: be super picky because yeah, these are the people who
Speaker 3: you're you know, even by following these people and liking
Speaker 3: their stuff, you're enriching them, You're amplifying them. So it's
Speaker 3: just about being very conscious of that. And also I
Speaker 3: think like a huge thing too, is is realizing that
Speaker 3: the whole what you're saying about, you know, the hate
Speaker 3: follow like just kind of checking up on people and
Speaker 3: that sort of thing, it's like you're still amplifying that person.
Speaker 3: And also just touching on one last thing, I love
Speaker 3: what you said about the consumer has a lot of
Speaker 3: the control now. Like I remember it was only maybe
Speaker 3: a couple of months ago where I got a DM
Speaker 3: that was like Georgie, you're using like filters too much
Speaker 3: and I was likectually struggling through a bit of a
Speaker 3: you know, time I had a surgery and anyway whatnot.
Speaker 3: And I remember kind of taking that on board and
Speaker 3: being like, yeah, fuck, what am I doing sort of thing,
Speaker 3: And don't I'm not to say like I don't agree
Speaker 3: with followers dictating everything because again, it's my platform. It's
Speaker 3: so not my platform. It's MySpace I'm allowed to show
Speaker 3: up and do what I want. But I do love that,
Speaker 3: you know, followers and consumers do have a bit of
Speaker 3: control and makes the influencer have somewhat of the responsibility too.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely, all right.
Speaker 3: Flex, we are going to move on to our last
Speaker 3: little section of the pod. I've just looked and we've
Speaker 3: been going for a good fifteen minutes. So to wrap
Speaker 3: things up, I want to play your Flex game and
Speaker 3: I hope that's okay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's do it quick.
Speaker 1: Side note, and so literally sitting in my car recording
Speaker 1: this and my laptop will die shortly, so if it
Speaker 1: happens to cut off, I hope you have like a
Speaker 1: nice area to like round out the podcast.
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3: No, no, you're so okay, You're so okay. Will be
Speaker 3: super quick before we get into the games, do you
Speaker 3: want to just quickly explain to the audience your games
Speaker 3: and where they can find them, just in case you
Speaker 3: do get cut off.
Speaker 1: Absolutely so. I have conversation card games. You've got Flex
Speaker 1: Factory ones and Reflex card games. The Reflex ones are
Speaker 1: the most popular, and we call them critical thinking card games.
Speaker 1: And what you're meant to do is each of these
Speaker 1: set of cards has a question on them, and you're
Speaker 1: meant to answer it really honestly and truthfully, and then
Speaker 1: after you answer it, you're meant to unpack why you
Speaker 1: answered it that way, What influence is the way you think?
Speaker 1: Why you think that way, And it's really fantastic just
Speaker 1: to get a better understanding of who you are as
Speaker 1: a person. Of course, you can play it as like
Speaker 1: a drinking game. Plenty of people do, but I'm assuming
Speaker 1: if you're listening to this, then you like self development
Speaker 1: and you like personal growth, and you like looking for
Speaker 1: really easy, attainable ways to be a better personal shortcut
Speaker 1: to growth vibes like if you want a real quick,
Speaker 1: easy shortcut to learn more about yourself, then play Reflex.
Speaker 3: And I absolutely love the game Flex with my husband
Speaker 3: because he's not the biggest conversationist. So I will literally
Speaker 3: bring the cards to like date nights and stuff so
Speaker 3: we can have these like interesting convos. Yea, and like
Speaker 3: we do this thing where every Sunday we do Sunday
Speaker 3: morning coffee and I literally will bring cards so we
Speaker 3: can have a chat and yeah, you unpack it, you
Speaker 3: talk about it. I could talk underwater. So I love
Speaker 3: the same. It's just it's and I've definitely played it
Speaker 3: drinking too, and it's a lot of fun. Well, let's
Speaker 3: get straight into it. To finish the pod, guys, we're
Speaker 3: going to answer some Flex cards and then make sure
Speaker 3: you go and check out Lilian Akaflex her cards everything.
Speaker 3: I will link it all in the show notes. I'm
Speaker 3: just doing a quick outro in case you're flat off
Speaker 3: you guys, But Flex, when was the last time you
Speaker 3: had pure fun?
Speaker 2: I think that.
Speaker 1: If I reflect, and the first n it comes up
Speaker 1: is Coachella, as bad as that sounds, and not because
Speaker 1: the festival was anything amazing. But I went with some
Speaker 1: of my closest and oldest friends and our objective was
Speaker 1: just to do things that felt good. So, yes, we
Speaker 1: might have on a few dangerous things, you know, we
Speaker 1: might have gotten a few cars that we shouldn't have
Speaker 1: gotten into. We might have stayed up too late, we
Speaker 1: might have gotten up too early, whatever it was, but
Speaker 1: our only objective was to do what feels good, follow
Speaker 1: the fun. And it felt so nice to like not
Speaker 1: have responsibilities. We felt like children with adult privileges. Everything
Speaker 1: was funny, everything was silly, Everything was totally made with
Speaker 1: pleasure in mind, and I think that's a really hard
Speaker 1: feeling to replicate because real life isn't like a holiday
Speaker 1: that you paid thousands of dollars to go on, and
Speaker 1: it's really hard to replicate that sense of freedom when
Speaker 1: you're literally stuck in your city or your hometown or
Speaker 1: your suburb.
Speaker 2: But pure fun that definitely comes to mind.
Speaker 3: Oh that was a good That was a bloody good answer.
Speaker 3: My answer is like again being a basic bitch. But
Speaker 3: literally three days ago or last week, I went to
Speaker 3: Byron with Naked Harvest and it was like a little
Speaker 3: retreat that we did for some of our influences, and
Speaker 3: we did this our workout class called Hustle, which was
Speaker 3: like pilates, And I'm not gonna lie. I'm usually that
Speaker 3: person who's like, oh, pilates, because I'm more of like
Speaker 3: a person I love strength training, I love weights, I
Speaker 3: love like kind of hit, get it done, let's leave
Speaker 3: bigger sort of movements. And this class they had like
Speaker 3: these old R and B beats pumping. The chick was
Speaker 3: she was like Spanish, she had this amazing accent and
Speaker 3: she was so much fun and I don't know the
Speaker 3: whole like every it was a private class too, so
Speaker 3: it was just us girls and the vibe and everything.
Speaker 3: I've literally never laughed and had so.
Speaker 5: Much oh exercising, and like I literally went and went
Speaker 5: in enjoy the exact same like hustle at the Gold
Speaker 5: Coast where I live, because I was like, fuck, I
Speaker 5: need this in my life.
Speaker 3: Oh, because I haven't enjoyed excising since my I haven't
Speaker 3: enjoyed exercising since my surgery last year and really like
Speaker 3: just felt in a bit of a funk and that
Speaker 3: is like my happy place. So love that for me.
Speaker 3: And now I'm doing the classes daily and loving life.
Speaker 1: That's a good answer because now right next question, oh yea, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're gonna run on time.
Speaker 3: No, okay, So this is going to be an interesting one.
Speaker 3: Would you rather live without love or money?
Speaker 1: I would rather live without love, I think for a
Speaker 1: long time. I've thought about that question a lot, and
Speaker 1: only because there are so many other ways you can
Speaker 1: give and receive kindness that aren't loving. And we live
Speaker 1: like I think a lot of people aren't loving to me,
Speaker 1: but they treat me with fairness, They treat me with kindness,
Speaker 1: and they treat me with compassion, and I think I
Speaker 1: can live with that, I think I don't appreciate the
Speaker 1: love I have in my life a lot, and so
Speaker 1: there are some days that I don't recognize that what
Speaker 1: could turn this day around is love and it's loving behavior.
Speaker 1: But I just let like money and you know, buying
Speaker 1: happiness motivate me.
Speaker 2: So I think I.
Speaker 1: Could actually physically live without love for longer than I
Speaker 1: could live without money if you took all the money
Speaker 1: I had away from me. Today, I can't pay my rent,
Speaker 1: like where am I living?
Speaker 2: Like I can't eat, like I can't like forage. It's done.
Speaker 1: But I could really make adjustments around having an absence
Speaker 1: of love in my life because there are other ways
Speaker 1: that can mimic love without actually being love or giving love.
Speaker 2: What about you go, go, oh.
Speaker 3: My god, this is a fucking interesting card. And I,
Speaker 3: oh my god. See it's hard because I've been with
Speaker 3: my husband since I'm seventeen, so obviously I have so
Speaker 3: much love for him and our life and whatnot. Been
Speaker 3: saying that I really do not agree with the saying
Speaker 3: that like you can't buy happiness. I really see that
Speaker 3: since having more money and having yeah, like to be
Speaker 3: completely honest, well, it can buy a lot of things
Speaker 3: that make you feel good and make you feel loved.
Speaker 2: That's it.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's so hard.
Speaker 2: And you can have hair.
Speaker 1: Honestly, you can have tenderness, you can have security, you
Speaker 1: can have comfort, you can have compliments. Without love, you
Speaker 1: can still have good stuff. There's no money. Light.
Speaker 3: Yeah, honestly, I think I'd rather be like an independent
Speaker 3: person who can feel secure and like actual live life,
Speaker 3: because you cannot live life without money. So I'm confused, unfortunately.
Speaker 3: So yeah, I'm yeah, I'm kind of with you on
Speaker 3: that one. Bloody love these cards. As you can see, Guys,
Speaker 3: they are so much fun. They would create conbos. Make
Speaker 3: sure you get onto it. I really need to. I've
Speaker 3: just got the I think the game one Flex, and
Speaker 3: I really need to get on to the explicits.
Speaker 1: I think I will send you every single game we have,
Speaker 1: and I will give you a discount coach to share
Speaker 1: with everyone, because everyone should have it.
Speaker 2: It's it's a blast.
Speaker 3: Oh did you hear that? Guys? Can we make the
Speaker 3: discount code rise and Conquer?
Speaker 2: Yes we can, and we'll do twenty percent off.
Speaker 3: Oh thank you so much, Flex, We do appreciate it. Guys.
Speaker 3: Please get onto these cards and also make sure you
Speaker 3: check out flex Insta or all her handles and stuff
Speaker 3: will be in the show notes. I will put that
Speaker 3: code in there, and honestly, yeah, you'll have so much fun.
Speaker 3: It's like it's making me laughing thinking of the times
Speaker 3: I've had my girlfriends doing these cards. So thank you
Speaker 3: so much, Flex you, thank you delight on the show
Speaker 3: and yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 2: You're the best. Let's talk to you.
Speaker 3: So thanks Flex. I will chat to you later. And
Speaker 3: rn C fam, the code is a Rise and concer.
Speaker 3: I'll put everything in the show notes. Thank you so
Speaker 3: much for listening. Thank you for listening for another R
Speaker 3: and C episode. I really appreciate taking the time to
Speaker 3: be here with me, and also for taking the time
Speaker 3: for yourself. If you've found this episode helpful, it would
Speaker 3: be so amazing if you shared it on your stories
Speaker 3: and tagged us, or simply just send it on to
Speaker 3: a girlfriend or family member who would benefit from listening.
Speaker 3: We are an independent podcast run by me and my
Speaker 3: amazing podcast manager, so it would mean the world to
Speaker 3: us if you left a review on the Apple podcast app. Also,
Speaker 3: if you're vibing this podcast and the concepts we're chatting about,
Speaker 3: and your craving community. Please come and join us over
Speaker 3: at the RNC podcast community Facebook group. Just search Rise
Speaker 3: and Conquer Podcast Community on Facebook and I will be
Speaker 3: in there to chat to you. Until next time
Speaker 1: You have to