Speaker 1: Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Speaker 1: Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We
Speaker 1: pay our respect to their elders past and present and
Speaker 1: extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait islander
Speaker 1: peoples today.
Speaker 2: This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of the Aurora Nation.
Speaker 1: Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of.
Speaker 3: Life on Cut.
Speaker 2: I'm Brittany and I'm Laura And guess what what?
Speaker 3: It's that time of year again.
Speaker 1: I thought you were gonna say it's that time of
Speaker 1: week again, and I'm like, yeah, every Tuesday comes around quickly.
Speaker 3: Well, this is a Thursday episode, so that's awkward for you.
Speaker 1: I actually have no idea what I wait, I'm like
Speaker 1: trying to burn you and I love that you just
Speaker 1: tried to like give me shit.
Speaker 2: You threw yourself under the bus at the same time.
Speaker 2: What time of year is it, Laura burn?
Speaker 3: It's the podcast of world it is.
Speaker 1: It is time for the podcast awards that really crept
Speaker 1: up on us usually, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: It's time for us to ask you all to stop
Speaker 2: what you're doing right now. Stop listening, press pause, go
Speaker 2: to our show notes, hit the link, and go and
Speaker 2: vote for us for the people's choice.
Speaker 1: So this is like the Oscar of podcasting. It is
Speaker 1: the big, really really big event for us. It's the
Speaker 1: old logi of the podcast, the logi, it's the Oscars,
Speaker 1: the Academy award, it's whatever you want to call it.
Speaker 1: It's the thing that matters to us the most in
Speaker 1: the entire asking world.
Speaker 2: I'm not saying the entire world my kids. My kids
Speaker 2: are more important to me, to be honest. You know,
Speaker 2: having a good night's sleep is sometimes more important, but
Speaker 2: it's very very important to us.
Speaker 1: So what it is is, you know, there's a bunch
Speaker 1: of awards, but what we're asking you guys to do
Speaker 1: is the same thing we asked you to do last year.
Speaker 3: It's to go and vote.
Speaker 1: So, like Lorida said, it's in our show notes. You
Speaker 1: can go and vote and you just it takes two seconds.
Speaker 1: You just type in the podcast you want to vote for,
Speaker 1: which I'm just gonna tell you what. It's, Life Uncut spoiler,
Speaker 1: Life Uncut. And then the only way to make sure
Speaker 1: that vote goes through is then to go into your
Speaker 1: email and press confirm but that sounds difficult. It's not
Speaker 1: typing life uncut and then press confirm in your email
Speaker 1: if you have two emails, if.
Speaker 3: You have a UNI email, sure go feel free, go crazy.
Speaker 2: If you want to start a burner account just so
Speaker 2: that you can put in multiple votes.
Speaker 3: We're okay with that. It's fine.
Speaker 1: It really would mean a lot to us if you
Speaker 1: guys can take two seconds, because it just means that
Speaker 1: we can keep doing what we're doing, and it's it's
Speaker 1: something that's really important to us, and it's something that
Speaker 1: just look, it's.
Speaker 2: The only thing I have, Guys, I don't have.
Speaker 3: I don't have much gold for me right now, so
Speaker 3: I really need.
Speaker 2: This vote, Okay, So I mean, please go vote for
Speaker 2: us in the People's Choice of the podcast towards We
Speaker 2: would very much appreciate it.
Speaker 3: And you're gonna hear that for the next couple of weeks. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Do you know what, We never ever, ever even make
Speaker 2: sure this for our own category, Like they never put
Speaker 2: us in the Relationships and Dating podcasts.
Speaker 3: It's so crazy to me we beg for votes.
Speaker 2: Anyway, Moving along, there is something that we wanted to
Speaker 2: talk about on Tuesday's episode, but somehow we took a
Speaker 2: really vague and.
Speaker 3: Random root down talking about funerals, and did you just
Speaker 3: say root down? I don't think we talked about rooting,
Speaker 3: did we?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: But we are today?
Speaker 1: Are we talking about rooting while we're talking about No,
Speaker 1: Actually we're talking about not rooting because penises are too large.
Speaker 2: So we wanted to talk about on Tuesday's episode a
Speaker 2: documentary that's come out about big penises, and it's kind
Speaker 2: of weird that that's the one thing that that's the
Speaker 2: hill we're going to die on, and we decided it
Speaker 2: was so important we thought we'd drag it out and
Speaker 2: talk about it on Thursday. Well.
Speaker 3: I just was blown away.
Speaker 1: There really is a documentary.
Speaker 3: It's not in Australia, it's in the UK. Everything.
Speaker 1: It's a UK documentary and it is very absolutely named
Speaker 1: My Massive Cock.
Speaker 3: How classy?
Speaker 2: Could you imagine Channel ten putting on a doco at
Speaker 2: like nine pm called My Massive Cock?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 3: At what time is this streaming on free to air?
Speaker 3: I'd love to know you would never see it?
Speaker 1: But it's apparently, and I read this because of the
Speaker 1: tweet it's on a network four or Channel four or something,
Speaker 1: and they're like, what won't Channel four Air in the US,
Speaker 1: So this obviously is a channel that just throws anything
Speaker 1: under the bus.
Speaker 2: But like, imagine that, imagine flicking through stations, just sitting
Speaker 2: there eating your dinner, flicking through stations. And there's a
Speaker 2: documentary called My Massive Cock that's on.
Speaker 1: There are so many funny tweets about it, but one
Speaker 1: was like, let me tell you, guys that this documentary
Speaker 1: is not about chickens.
Speaker 3: I will just give you a spoiler.
Speaker 1: It is not about chickens, So don't tune in if
Speaker 1: you think My Massive Cock is about living on a farm,
Speaker 1: it's not.
Speaker 2: How many people do you think out there that want
Speaker 2: to watch a documentary on massive chickens running around?
Speaker 3: Probably loads, but.
Speaker 1: I think more people want to watch one on massive penises.
Speaker 1: So it's a documentary and we're having to laugh, but
Speaker 1: it's pretty serious.
Speaker 3: It is about these men that.
Speaker 1: Have ridiculously large penises, and I mean, for want of
Speaker 1: a better word, it's the dark side of having a
Speaker 1: massive penis. So it's like, you know, the downside of
Speaker 1: what happens if you have a really big manhood.
Speaker 3: Apparently, the average penis size in.
Speaker 1: Australia is fourteen point foury five centimeters fourteen point four
Speaker 1: to five.
Speaker 3: I'm in a hole. My fingers up. I don't know.
Speaker 3: I mean, like we need a ruler. You think that's average, Well.
Speaker 1: That's I mean, I don't think it. I don't know
Speaker 1: what I would. I don't think I've done enough of
Speaker 1: sample size to know what is average. But one, so
Speaker 1: keep that in mind. Fourteen point five. One man that
Speaker 1: was featured.
Speaker 3: His name's Joe.
Speaker 1: He's twenty two. His penis is twenty four centimeters. Law, no,
Speaker 1: that is huge. And if you see the pictures.
Speaker 3: Like if you guys do all this almost having sex
Speaker 3: with the ruler.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but the problem is too they're not just big
Speaker 1: one of these poor guys. It is like before them
Speaker 1: will big guys. It's also the circumference, so they can't
Speaker 1: use them because they're too big. So Joe, this poor
Speaker 1: twenty two year old guy, he actually lost a job
Speaker 1: because his penis was so large, and like, this is
Speaker 1: gobsmacking to meat. It actually made me really sad he
Speaker 1: was in it well because he was extremely qualified for
Speaker 1: the position. He's a great Like I'm looking at him now,
Speaker 1: this is Joe. You guys can google him.
Speaker 2: He's just a much shoe he looks like a nice
Speaker 2: young I mean he's not a big guy.
Speaker 3: He's a very little guy. He's very little guy everywhere.
Speaker 1: He has to wear special undies with a pouch, so
Speaker 1: he like a kangaroo. So he has to tuck the
Speaker 1: penis in because otherwise the penis doesn't fit in his undies.
Speaker 2: I like you call it the penis, like it not
Speaker 2: even mixtension. It's not his penis. It's just the penis.
Speaker 2: Because it's so big, it's got its own post code.
Speaker 1: Well, he went for this job interview, and this is
Speaker 1: why it's really heartbreaking, because this is actually like the
Speaker 1: penises are so large is debilitating, which is hard.
Speaker 3: To think that that is possible. You could put your
Speaker 3: finger up. You gotta ask something. I was gonna say,
Speaker 3: too much of a good thing. Yes, you can have
Speaker 3: too much of a good thing. So he went for this.
Speaker 1: Job that he was overqualified for, and the employer mistook
Speaker 1: the bulge in his pants for a big, giant erection.
Speaker 1: So the interviewer was watching him the whole time thinking
Speaker 1: he was just so horny about getting this job that
Speaker 1: he had an erection. The whole job interview and the
Speaker 1: response from the interview was you're not going to get
Speaker 1: this job. We thought you were a good candidate, but
Speaker 1: we thought there was in a proof behavior happening. So
Speaker 1: he said, they thought I had an erection throughout the
Speaker 1: whole interview, and they were very much like, your attire
Speaker 1: wasn't right. Basically, they're like, we can see you, dick,
Speaker 1: You've got an erection. You're a pervert, which I just
Speaker 1: think is really like, imagine the discrimination. Imagine losing out.
Speaker 1: I've just never heard of it, losing out to a
Speaker 1: job because your penis is too large, the job wasn't porn.
Speaker 2: But also look at it from the other perspective. If
Speaker 2: you were an employer and you were interviewing someone and
Speaker 2: you thought they had an erection the whole time that
Speaker 2: you were interviewing.
Speaker 3: Them, you would not employ them.
Speaker 2: Like, of course that that's the terrible byproduct of what
Speaker 2: this man experiences, But like, at the same time, I
Speaker 2: don't see if you're going like, how could the employer
Speaker 2: do that? I think every single person who is in
Speaker 2: that position, who's interviewing someone thinking that they've got a
Speaker 2: raging boner during the interview, would.
Speaker 3: Say probably a bit inappropriate, what's going on here? Totally well.
Speaker 1: Other guys in the show, like other ones that have
Speaker 1: also twenty four inch penises.
Speaker 3: An inch will send me to get you at far
Speaker 3: as it gets you from the other side of the bedroom.
Speaker 3: You just have to stand up. You can check the
Speaker 3: letterbox and we'll get you from the letterbox.
Speaker 1: A lot of them they're like, I don't even want
Speaker 1: to go out anymore because people just stare at their
Speaker 1: penis the whole time, and like this is not funny.
Speaker 1: But a lot of men are saying, you know, I
Speaker 1: just feel objectified by women. They make jokes about it,
Speaker 1: they talk about it. They only like me because of it,
Speaker 1: so they find it hard to date.
Speaker 3: They've gone to look at surgery for reduction. It is
Speaker 3: a wild documentary, do you know what. I find this really.
Speaker 2: Interesting because I do think that there is a weird
Speaker 2: double standard for how we talk about men's penises versus
Speaker 2: women's volvers, Right, I agree, And I think, you know,
Speaker 2: as much as we're sitting here and we're giggling about
Speaker 2: the documentary as such, I'm not giggling at any one
Speaker 2: person or the situation they're in, because I think that
Speaker 2: that's truly fucking terrible to have anyway, I said, I
Speaker 2: have empathy totally, and to have any part of your
Speaker 2: body that is causing you to feel outcast in society
Speaker 2: is something that I think is what a horrible thing
Speaker 2: to experience. But I think when it comes to men
Speaker 2: and the way we speak about male genitalia verse volvers,
Speaker 2: I think it's very interesting.
Speaker 3: Like if a guy was to ever say like or to.
Speaker 2: Like comment on a tight, tiny little vagina, we kind
Speaker 2: of are a bit like, oh, that's so gross. Like
Speaker 2: we hate it when men speak about volvers in a
Speaker 2: way that objectifies them in any whether it be positively
Speaker 2: objectifying or negatively objectifying, you know, whether there's a comment
Speaker 2: that you know that someone's leavys are too long, whatever.
Speaker 3: It is, we don't like it.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I think that there is an acceptance, especially
Speaker 2: within like you know, female friendship groups to talk about
Speaker 2: small dicks massive dicks. You know, I wouldn't date a
Speaker 2: guy with a skinny penis or a little penis. Like,
Speaker 2: I think that we do put a lot of emphasis
Speaker 2: around male genitalia and we also make that Okay, yeah, I.
Speaker 3: Agree, I agree.
Speaker 1: Look, my massive clock was trending. Hashtag was trending a
Speaker 1: lot of people have watched it. I think at the
Speaker 1: start when it first was released, seven hundred thousand people
Speaker 1: had watched it.
Speaker 3: If it interests you, go and have a look.
Speaker 1: But I think we are one hundred percent giggling at
Speaker 1: the idea that this is documentary. We are not giggling
Speaker 1: at these poor people. It's really hard for a lot
Speaker 1: of these people to have the sexual relationship. Obviously you
Speaker 1: can have a relationship, but you know they've said it's
Speaker 1: something that they've almost you know, like when you're on
Speaker 1: a date and you have you talk about what you
Speaker 1: want and what you are that some of them are
Speaker 1: like they were like, oh do I have to tell
Speaker 1: I feel like I need to tell them straight away.
Speaker 1: Like imagine having a penis that big that you're like,
Speaker 1: I need to tell you because this is like going
Speaker 1: to be an issue and must be very very difficult.
Speaker 2: Also, like women would think it's a flex Like people
Speaker 2: like you're if you're at dinner with someone and they
Speaker 2: were like, hey, just letting you know, my penis is
Speaker 2: so big that most people can't even take it.
Speaker 3: You'd be like a fuck off, mate. You'd challenge, but
Speaker 3: you'd also want to see it, right.
Speaker 1: I'd be like, fuck, I need I don't even like
Speaker 1: that much Bunny to see I need to do it.
Speaker 2: H You know, With that out of the way, I'm
Speaker 2: so glad that we saved that and came full circle
Speaker 2: to talk about it with you all. Let's get into
Speaker 2: answering all your deep, dark and burning questions. We have
Speaker 2: some real doozies and I'm gonna kick it off with
Speaker 2: one that Britta and I kind of when we read
Speaker 2: this we were like, how on earth do we answer
Speaker 2: this one? High ladies, I'd love to get your thoughts
Speaker 2: on this. One of my husband's female friends has come
Speaker 2: to him to ask if he would be the business
Speaker 2: manager for her only fans. She has wanted to do
Speaker 2: only fans for ages, but is really terrible with anything
Speaker 2: business related. He obviously mentioned this to me and we
Speaker 2: had a chat about it, how would it work, etc.
Speaker 2: He has left final decision up to me, as he
Speaker 2: doesn't want to do anything that I'm uncomfortable with. Good Man,
Speaker 2: My initial reaction was a no. So should I just
Speaker 2: go with my gut with this or should I trust
Speaker 2: him that it's fine for him to manage her only fans?
Speaker 3: Okay, well, I'm.
Speaker 1: Going to assume her Only Fans isn't a cooking show,
Speaker 1: because we all know you can have anything on only fans.
Speaker 1: You don't, It doesn't Our natural thought is only fans
Speaker 1: is always sexy, it's nudity, but it's not always you
Speaker 1: can have anything on only fans. I don't think that's
Speaker 1: the situation here because I don't think she'd be feeling uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: So we're going to assume that she means sexually explicit
Speaker 1: content on only fans. Is that where we're going?
Speaker 3: Yeah, squad, Okay.
Speaker 1: My initial response is no, I'm not letting my husband
Speaker 1: do that unless you are an only fans manager, generally speaking,
Speaker 1: and that's your job. And then someone else has just said, hey,
Speaker 1: can you also manage mine? I think it's a pretty
Speaker 1: weird thing to go to a married man or someone
Speaker 1: in a relationship that just fucking manages the chicken shop
Speaker 1: down the road because he's put at business.
Speaker 2: Like, he's very good at like checking the letter off
Speaker 2: parking fines, and you're like, you'll be great at managing
Speaker 2: my own fans.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Frank, I've seen you run that chicken shop. You've
Speaker 1: done it really well. Why is everybody, Frank, It's just
Speaker 1: gonna happen. Now.
Speaker 3: I don't think that this is a fit.
Speaker 1: And I think if it's not necessary and it's not natural,
Speaker 1: I probably wouldn't want my partner to go and manage
Speaker 1: some other woman's only fans, because it means essentially they're
Speaker 1: going to be looking at that content all the time.
Speaker 1: They're going to give feedback on the content. They're going
Speaker 1: to be advising what to do, because that's what a
Speaker 1: manager does. Unless they're literally just saying bring my cash in,
Speaker 1: like going to my emails and make sure the cash
Speaker 1: is coming in, that might be different if he doesn't
Speaker 1: have to go.
Speaker 3: In and look at the intricacies of what the content is.
Speaker 3: I agree with you.
Speaker 2: I think it's like, for example, if he's an accountant
Speaker 2: and this woman's like, hey, can you manage the accounts
Speaker 2: to my only fans, no problem, because there's no need
Speaker 2: for him to look at the content, Like I have
Speaker 2: an accountant. I don't even think he knows what I do. Like,
Speaker 2: I don't think he's got any clue what my actual
Speaker 2: job is. He just looks at the figures and puts
Speaker 2: it in, you know, tells me how much money I
Speaker 2: got to give to the tax man. Which is way
Speaker 2: too much. So I think if it's that side of things,
Speaker 2: it's fine. But if it is actually that she wants
Speaker 2: someone to man need her, like as in, you know,
Speaker 2: to give feedback to, like help with curating content to
Speaker 2: because that's what a manager done to bring in more sales,
Speaker 2: you know, bring in more subscribers, like, you know, to
Speaker 2: truly like build her profile. Then I think, firstly, it's
Speaker 2: very amazing that your partner had the conversation with you
Speaker 2: and was like, I'm going to leave the ball in
Speaker 2: your court because I want to make sure that you're
Speaker 2: completely comfortable.
Speaker 3: You're looking at me like I'm saying punts, which I
Speaker 3: wasn't meant to I was gonna say.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's amazing. I think that that should
Speaker 1: be like a standard thing in a relationship totally.
Speaker 2: But I guess when I say it's amazing, what I
Speaker 2: mean by that is that it should be a standard thing.
Speaker 3: But we know it's not.
Speaker 2: From all the questions that you guys ask us, we
Speaker 2: know that like having gone down general decency and consideration
Speaker 2: for your partner is not the standard norm in all relationships.
Speaker 2: So the fact that he has been asked the question
Speaker 2: considered it and said, I think that this could be
Speaker 2: received poorly by my partner. I'm going to check with
Speaker 2: her and let her make up the final decision on this.
Speaker 2: I do think that that has some merit, but I
Speaker 2: guess ultimately, when I first read this question, I was like, Oh,
Speaker 2: I think it's fine. And then I put myself in
Speaker 2: the shoes and I was like, how would I feel
Speaker 2: if some woman who I didn't really have a connection
Speaker 2: with asked Matt to manage her only fans?
Speaker 3: Yeah, at the Star Laura, I was like, it's okay,
Speaker 3: and she's like, what do you think?
Speaker 1: And I was like no.
Speaker 3: She just started laughing. I would be weirded out by it.
Speaker 2: I would feel like it's an unnecessary thing, unless you
Speaker 2: guys are in a financial bind, unless it's something that
Speaker 2: he's passionate about and wants to move into this industry.
Speaker 2: If it's just something to do because he's been asked,
Speaker 2: and it makes you feel in any way uncomfortable, which
Speaker 2: you've obviously it does, and you want to trust your
Speaker 2: gut instincts, and I say, don't put yourself into a
Speaker 2: situation that's gonna make you feel resentful or where you
Speaker 2: feel cornered into it. I think, be honest, explain that
Speaker 2: maybe it's not the right fit for you, and just
Speaker 2: go on your merry fucking way.
Speaker 1: Well, the thing is here too, and the thing is
Speaker 1: it is about your gut instinct. That is where this
Speaker 1: comes from. Like for me personally, i'd be uncomfortable, But
Speaker 1: there's a lot of people that this is fine. You
Speaker 1: could be so stable in your relationship. You guys could
Speaker 1: have the most beautiful relationship, trusting on a strong and
Speaker 1: it might not bother a lot of people at all.
Speaker 3: To be looking at other women's only fans now.
Speaker 2: But what I want to jump into that is you
Speaker 2: could have the most stable, trusting, loving relationship and it
Speaker 2: still might not be fine.
Speaker 3: It comes down to your values.
Speaker 1: But what I'm trying to say is there are plenty
Speaker 1: of people out there where this is okay. If you
Speaker 1: want your partner to go and earn some more money,
Speaker 1: because you know, only fans can bring in a big income, right,
Speaker 1: So if you're managing that you're taking twenty percent whatever
Speaker 1: it is you're taking, that can be.
Speaker 3: A lot of extra money.
Speaker 1: So if you are in a situation where something like
Speaker 1: this happened and you it doesn't bother you at all
Speaker 1: to have your partner involved in that go crazy. The
Speaker 1: reason where saying you know this isn't for you and
Speaker 1: go with your gut is because your gut has said no,
Speaker 1: and it means that if you say yes to it,
Speaker 1: you will be uncomfortable, because you're uncomfortable now. Whatever it is,
Speaker 1: there's something inside of you that's like, this doesn't sit
Speaker 1: right with me. You're gonna think about it for a
Speaker 1: long time. You're probably gonna end up subscribing to her
Speaker 1: only fans because you want to see what's going down.
Speaker 3: And I think you'll get resentful. That's the big one.
Speaker 2: Like I think when you do things that aren't aligned
Speaker 2: with like what feels right to you and you feel like,
Speaker 2: you know, you feel like you're just doing it to
Speaker 2: meet the person happy, you start to get resentful, and
Speaker 2: that's a really bad emotion in a relationship.
Speaker 3: We are big on going with your gut here.
Speaker 1: Every time I have ignored my gut instinct, every single time,
Speaker 1: it hasn't ended well. And every time I do go
Speaker 1: with my gut instinct, it goes well. So I think
Speaker 1: that it is so intuitive, So you do need to.
Speaker 3: Listen to that. Let's go on to question number two.
Speaker 2: Question number two is to do with the ick, and
Speaker 2: I think this is quite a good one. My partner
Speaker 2: has given me the ick. In his workplace, there seems
Speaker 2: to be a trend. The work is below him are
Speaker 2: leaving within months, and I feel as though he is
Speaker 2: just too tough on them. He left the house at
Speaker 2: seven point forty swearing about a worker, saying I should
Speaker 2: just sack this cunt.
Speaker 3: But I overheard the conversation.
Speaker 2: I feel as though my partner is overreacting to the
Speaker 2: situation at hand. Moreover, my partner has a boss himself,
Speaker 2: and at moments he has overstepped his superior Am I
Speaker 2: wrong to have the gut feeling telling me I don't
Speaker 2: want to be with him long term if this is
Speaker 2: the way that he treats others. I find him overtly
Speaker 2: rude to others and it doesn't sit right with me.
Speaker 2: On another note, my partner has no time or patience
Speaker 2: for his mum. Is this an orange or red flag?
Speaker 3: Okay? For me, this is a huge red I mean,
Speaker 3: like we know sometimes I'm color blind, but this is
Speaker 3: a huge red flag.
Speaker 1: My I've always said one of my biggest turn offs
Speaker 1: is when example, on a first date, when somebody doesn't
Speaker 1: treat the weight staff well or they're rude to like
Speaker 1: a patron or another customer or whatever. That to me,
Speaker 1: I would walk out if someone was rude to somebody
Speaker 1: like that. If I saw my partner literally abusing people
Speaker 1: that I genuinely thought was unnecessary, swearing at them like
Speaker 1: the C word, I.
Speaker 2: Don't think he sware at them. He swore off the
Speaker 2: phone like he had a phone call with them. They
Speaker 2: hung up, and then he was like, oh, I should
Speaker 2: fly that, but she has We don't say that.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry. The thing is here. She has said it
Speaker 3: is not right.
Speaker 1: Like the punishment he doesn't equal the crime, which I
Speaker 1: think is a really big thing. He's overreacting, making people
Speaker 1: feel shit and abusing people all the time and having
Speaker 1: these conversations firing people. People are quitting because they're so
Speaker 1: uncomfortable around him. For me, that's a really big turn off.
Speaker 1: So that is definitely whether you have to have a
Speaker 1: conversation with him or whether you've literally it's too far gone,
Speaker 1: you've got the ick. But I think that is a
Speaker 1: pretty justifiable flag, Like I don't think that you're overreacting
Speaker 1: by saying, is it okay to be turned off by this?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: I think it's very okay to watch how human you
Speaker 1: have chosen treats other humans in a way that you
Speaker 1: don't agree with. For me, that is something you have
Speaker 1: to live with every single day. It's a big part
Speaker 1: of who somebody is. I think you can tell a
Speaker 1: lot about a person with how they treat other people,
Speaker 1: how they treat animals, just through the animals in there.
Speaker 2: Because I'm dog blah blah. I don't think he called
Speaker 2: any animals cun no, but.
Speaker 1: That's I definitely judge someone on how they treat other
Speaker 1: people and animals. And if I look at that and
Speaker 1: I think that they're he's treating someone unnecessarily, it's up
Speaker 1: to you what you do with that, though. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you can just have a conversation and be like, yo,
Speaker 1: do you think you're overreacting? Or maybe the ick is
Speaker 1: already settled deep deep inside of you and you can't
Speaker 1: get rid of it, like and your liver.
Speaker 2: I mean, we all know that it is hard to
Speaker 2: get rid of it once it's in there, once it's happened. Okay,
Speaker 2: Can I agree with everything that you've said, But I
Speaker 2: really do, But I want to play devil's advocate a
Speaker 2: little bit in this situation. I don't condone being rude
Speaker 2: or being nasty to anybody, you know. I think that
Speaker 2: there's definitely people who are very toxic in a workplace
Speaker 2: and they're impossible to work with. My only consideration to
Speaker 2: this is I think people just assume that everybody is
Speaker 2: good at being in a managerial role. Some people are
Speaker 2: truly terrible managers. They can't manage people. They are very
Speaker 2: good at doing the job, but then when they get
Speaker 2: into a position of managerial they just flail around and
Speaker 2: don't actually know what is needed in order to support
Speaker 2: their staff. They need our friend from OnlyFans. They need
Speaker 2: to need a manager, need a manager. But no, it's
Speaker 2: not everybody is a good manager. They just truly aren't.
Speaker 2: And I think that when you are not a good manager,
Speaker 2: but you're put in the position of managing people and
Speaker 2: managing teams, it can bring out the worst side of you.
Speaker 2: And so I wonder, is he under an unusual amount
Speaker 2: of stress at work? Is he failing and therefore the
Speaker 2: pressure of that he's taking it out on his team,
Speaker 2: which there's no excuse for that, But I think maybe
Speaker 2: before you just decide to, like, you know, rip the
Speaker 2: relationship apart and move away from it because of the
Speaker 2: way he's treating people, have a conversation with him more
Speaker 2: so around like is he struggling, is he not in
Speaker 2: an industry that he enjoys? Does he not feel fulfilled
Speaker 2: in his workplace? I think there's more parts of this
Speaker 2: that you can actually try and get to better understand
Speaker 2: before you just make the assumption that he's a shitty
Speaker 2: and bad person.
Speaker 3: Because if this behavior.
Speaker 2: Isn't consistent with how he treats his friends, for example,
Speaker 2: then I think that that is also a bit of
Speaker 2: a flag.
Speaker 3: There.
Speaker 2: The question about his mum and him not getting along
Speaker 2: with his mum, I don't think that that's necessarily an
Speaker 2: orange or red flag. There are a lot of people
Speaker 2: who don't get along with her parents, or who have
Speaker 2: complicated relationships with their parents because of many things that
Speaker 2: have happened in their childhood, and so I think unless
Speaker 2: you know that his mum is a great person, that
Speaker 2: there's nothing there, like there's nothing wrong, there's no issue,
Speaker 2: he just has no tolerance for her, then that's a
Speaker 2: very different situation. I think lacking toler rance and lacking
Speaker 2: respect towards someone, then that's the orange and red flag.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean like and maybe we will disagree a
Speaker 1: little bit on this one, Laura, which is totally fine.
Speaker 1: The only thing I disagree with you on is for me,
Speaker 1: it's not a real even if he is stressed, he's
Speaker 1: not in the job that he likes, he has trouble
Speaker 1: every day with it because he's unhappy. I couldn't care less.
Speaker 1: That's not an excuse for me for how you treat
Speaker 1: other people. It's just not something that I want to
Speaker 1: align myself with. I don't care about the level of
Speaker 1: stress he has. That doesn't give you a right to
Speaker 1: take it out on other people. And that is it's
Speaker 1: a personal opinion, but I'm very very big on how
Speaker 1: people speak and.
Speaker 3: Treat to people.
Speaker 2: I agree with that, but I think like that's too
Speaker 2: much of a perfect picture. I think like to say
Speaker 2: that when someone's stressed or anxious or feeling like all
Speaker 2: of the overwhelming feelings, that they should still be on
Speaker 2: their best behavior to everyone else in a perfect world. Yes,
Speaker 2: but we know that that's just not the case. And
Speaker 2: does that mean that that person is a fucking undateable
Speaker 2: unlovable person.
Speaker 3: I don't know if I agree with that. I just
Speaker 3: think it's maybe, in this instance, getting to the root
Speaker 3: cause of it.
Speaker 2: And if there is no root cause of it, if
Speaker 2: that's just how he is, if he lacks patience and tolerance,
Speaker 2: then that's when I would say, one, get out of that,
Speaker 2: because that's only going to be turned inwood in your
Speaker 2: relationship once the honeymoon phase and the excitement of you
Speaker 2: being a new thing fades away.
Speaker 1: Well, you've also said I find him overly rude to others.
Speaker 1: Guess what you can do is I mean the ick,
Speaker 1: you've got the ick. You've said that, you said the
Speaker 1: start with my partner has given me the ick, and.
Speaker 3: No one wants to date someone who's just rude. That's terrible.
Speaker 1: I think what you can do here is say to him,
Speaker 1: give him the benefit of the doubt, like Laurie just said,
Speaker 1: because here's your partner. We have spoken about the eck
Speaker 1: in the past. It can be reversed, not often, not easily,
Speaker 1: and not easily, but it can. I've never had the
Speaker 1: eck reverse ever. Once the e is there for me,
Speaker 1: it's like settled in. What you can do is say
Speaker 1: to him you overheard his conversation, he said, I definitely
Speaker 1: feel like he was overreacting. I don't feel like again
Speaker 1: the punishment and crime matched have that conversation with him
Speaker 1: to say, do you think you're overreacting in that conversation
Speaker 1: I heard what you're your conversation with Bill on the phone.
Speaker 1: Do you think you're overreacting because you've given him time.
Speaker 1: Then it's been a day, a week, two weeks, whatever.
Speaker 1: You give me time to think about it and calm down.
Speaker 1: So if he still then says, no, beat beat beat
Speaker 1: beat bee, but I wasn't overreacting. He's a dickhead and
Speaker 1: you still strongly disagree with that, Well there's your answer.
Speaker 1: You're not gonna reverse the ick This is what he is,
Speaker 1: this is who he is. That's fine for him, but
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean it has to be okay with you.
Speaker 1: You one hundred percent have to have morals in alignment
Speaker 1: or this will happen for the rest of existence.
Speaker 2: Also, I think, like, as much as I'm trying to
Speaker 2: play Devil's advocate, just to look at it from both sides,
Speaker 2: I think it is very telling somebody who uses language
Speaker 2: like calling one of their employees a c unts, but
Speaker 2: I mean, that's pretty bloody gross, Like, there's no denying that.
Speaker 2: That's a pretty disgusting way of behaving.
Speaker 3: I was on a date last week. I told you
Speaker 3: guys about it. I didn't tell you about it. I said,
Speaker 3: I went on a date and we had a conversation.
Speaker 2: So you you specifically said that you wouldn't tell us
Speaker 2: about it because it was a great date.
Speaker 3: Then you don't want him to be like outed, yeah,
Speaker 3: and then to never show up again. I was cringing,
Speaker 3: see him tomorrow night? Oh no, do we tell everyone
Speaker 3: he's gonna run for the hills.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: But one thing that I thought was really great in
Speaker 1: that we had a conversation about deal breakers.
Speaker 3: Which he brought up. He was it's very emotionally mature.
Speaker 3: I loved it.
Speaker 1: He brought up deal breakers and one of my deal breakers,
Speaker 1: I literally said, was an excessive amount of swearing, but
Speaker 1: particularly the SEA word. So for me, people that drop
Speaker 1: the C word and it's just personal.
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 1: I know a lot of people out there say it
Speaker 1: like it's a throwaway comment and they say it to
Speaker 1: their mates and that's fine, but for me, it makes
Speaker 1: my skin crawl. It makes me feel physically unwell. If
Speaker 1: my partner was dropping that word in front of other people,
Speaker 1: my family, I couldn't do it. I could not have
Speaker 1: them I would it's a deal breaker. So it's funny
Speaker 1: that this has come up now, that particular word, because
Speaker 1: I put it in a date deal breaker this week.
Speaker 3: I don't have a particular I mean, you guys are
Speaker 3: all well aware of this. I don't have a particular
Speaker 3: problem with the F word. No, I mean that's okay.
Speaker 3: I think it's fine.
Speaker 2: Also, if you listen to our Tuesday episode, I'm very sorry,
Speaker 2: and holy hell, britten nice for a lot on that episode.
Speaker 3: You did too, you swearing like an absolutely sail.
Speaker 1: We were just having the best time when we were
Speaker 1: just like laughing laugh fuck like fuck.
Speaker 2: But no, when it comes, I think there are some words,
Speaker 2: and for some people the F word is definitely a
Speaker 2: word that's like two crass that they don't like it,
Speaker 2: and that's fine, And I think for some people the
Speaker 2: limit sits further along me the same thing. I won't
Speaker 2: say the word again, c unt like gross, absolutely gross.
Speaker 2: I can't like, there's no part of me that would
Speaker 2: ever deem that okay. And also I don't move in
Speaker 2: circles with people who use that casually either.
Speaker 1: Well, I was dating a guy a couple of months
Speaker 1: ago and he's an English guy and he said it
Speaker 1: all the time, and he never said in England though,
Speaker 1: Well that's the thing he said. I brought it up
Speaker 1: with him and I said, hey, I just I really
Speaker 1: hate that word. And he throws around left right center.
Speaker 1: But you can tell the way they throw it around
Speaker 1: with their friends that it didn't have any malice to it.
Speaker 3: It was like, oh, I'm going down to the.
Speaker 1: That was a bit irish, but like the way that
Speaker 1: he did it. We had a conversation. I said, I
Speaker 1: don't like this because I wouldn't been able to keep
Speaker 1: dating him, and he and you didn't and we didn't.
Speaker 3: That was wild. I don't know his co workers listened
Speaker 3: to this, so I'm not going to say too much more.
Speaker 1: But we had a pretty good conversation about it, he said.
Speaker 1: He explained that he said, oh, I'm sorry, I'll stop
Speaker 1: saying it if you like, but just so you know,
Speaker 1: in England this is really normal. It doesn't really mean
Speaker 1: what it means for you guys like it's just a
Speaker 1: fun banter and you have to I guess, have a
Speaker 1: level of acceptance. Right, We've grown up differently, so the
Speaker 1: word doesn't mean the same thing there. But I still
Speaker 1: I still couldn't have and don't and I am not
Speaker 1: dating him.
Speaker 2: You missed it when you're away filming the challenge, which
Speaker 2: comes out very soon.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, guys, next Monday night, you guys need
Speaker 1: to check. Comes down next Monday night, Next Monday night
Speaker 1: in the fourteenth.
Speaker 3: That's not next next Monday night.
Speaker 2: This is coming out this Thursday, and next Monday Night
Speaker 2: is not the fourteenth because that's after my wedding.
Speaker 3: Okay, Brittany is very bad at knowing what day of
Speaker 3: the week it is this week on this episode, I
Speaker 3: have no idea right where I am you what you're
Speaker 3: saying is like the following Monday night.
Speaker 1: Yes, so Monday the fourteenth. Please, I'm going to need
Speaker 1: your all of your support.
Speaker 3: That's all I'm gonna say.
Speaker 2: After my wedding, Brittany is going to be on TV
Speaker 2: running around doing the challenge.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're gonna come here for Oh you might be
Speaker 1: on any honeymoon, but I'm like, come here for the
Speaker 1: premier night.
Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, I reckon.
Speaker 2: We have answered that as best we can now. Question
Speaker 2: number three, which is the last question.
Speaker 1: My partner idolizes his father, but I see a different side.
Speaker 1: His father has split with my partner's mum and has
Speaker 1: since become sleezy, while also being bitter in general to
Speaker 1: all women. Oh that's attractive, cute love that this includes
Speaker 1: my opinions, don't matter. He will hit on me when
Speaker 1: he's drunk, which is often take all my very clear
Speaker 1: jokes personally as an insult, raises his voice at me,
Speaker 1: bad mouths his ex wife in front of me, calls
Speaker 1: women fat, etc.
Speaker 3: You get the picture. He's also a dead set boken.
Speaker 1: I have tried talking to my bartner about this and
Speaker 1: he says, you just need to get to know him more.
Speaker 1: So I have, and these trends are persistent. Am I
Speaker 1: wrong to second guess my relationship with my partner purely
Speaker 1: based on my potential father in law? She's literally questioning
Speaker 1: her entire relationship because of how much of a dick
Speaker 1: his dad is.
Speaker 2: That's big, look, I mean, there's a few factors for this.
Speaker 2: I think depends on the frequency of which you spend
Speaker 2: time with the father in law, Like is he living
Speaker 2: at home? Do you have to see him every day?
Speaker 2: Do you see him once every six months. Like, I
Speaker 2: think frequency is a very very big part of this conversation.
Speaker 2: Let's assume I'm going to make a number up. Let's
Speaker 2: assume you see him every second weekend.
Speaker 3: I reckon, it's once a week.
Speaker 2: I got, let's go at once a week. The difficult
Speaker 2: thing is is that like a lot of people idolize
Speaker 2: their parents, right, Like, even if their parents have problematic
Speaker 2: things or viewpoints or whatever, a lot of people can
Speaker 2: brush past that and see past that because they obviously
Speaker 2: have such a strong and long standing connection with their parents.
Speaker 3: It's their parents.
Speaker 2: So it's probably very hard for him to take on
Speaker 2: criticism for his dad. Also, when his dad has just
Speaker 2: gone through a divorce, your partner's probably giving a lot
Speaker 2: of allowances for his dad and for the behavior, because
Speaker 2: he can probably say, oh, well, you know, like dad's
Speaker 2: been going through a hard time, so just go easy
Speaker 2: on him.
Speaker 3: You'll get to know him, it'll be better.
Speaker 2: So I guess, like I wouldn't necessarily be throwing away
Speaker 2: my entire relationship just because I don't like my father
Speaker 2: in law. I don't think that someone's parents have to
Speaker 2: be an indication of who that person is, Like I
Speaker 2: think personally, I'm very very different to my parents. I mean,
Speaker 2: there's parts of me that I think similar, but like,
Speaker 2: ultimately I think I'm quite a different person. So I
Speaker 2: don't think that you have to be the carbon copy
Speaker 2: of your parents. But I guess like the big part
Speaker 2: of this is is if your partner emulates the misogynistic
Speaker 2: and problematic graces that your father in law has, or
Speaker 2: if you think that that's something that you identify in him,
Speaker 2: then that, for me is where I would be having
Speaker 2: a bigger issue.
Speaker 3: Like I don't think so much that my issue would
Speaker 3: be with the father in laws.
Speaker 2: I think I could separate the two, but my issue
Speaker 2: would be, like does my partner behave like him?
Speaker 3: Is my partner going to turn into him? Is that
Speaker 3: the issue?
Speaker 1: One hundred percent agree? The issue here is, I mean,
Speaker 1: you don't have to go to family events if you
Speaker 1: don't want to. In the future, you can remove yourself.
Speaker 1: If you guys just clash. If you guys are clashing,
Speaker 1: it's going to be obvious to everyone else you're clashing.
Speaker 1: It's going to be obvious to your partner that you're clashing.
Speaker 1: My issue here is is he giving too much leeway
Speaker 1: to his dad, And if he thinks what his dad
Speaker 1: is doing is okay, So is he saying, oh, look,
Speaker 1: I know he does this. He's a rough diamond. I
Speaker 1: know he calls people fat, but he's joking. It's okay.
Speaker 1: If does he not agree with it, but let's slide,
Speaker 1: or does he think it's okay, Because if he thinks
Speaker 1: that his dad's behavior is okay from what you've said,
Speaker 1: because his behavior absolutely is not okay, then there's a problem.
Speaker 1: If you have told your partner that his dad hits
Speaker 1: on you all the time, which.
Speaker 3: Is gross, like unbelievably gross.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all the time when he's drinking and drunk, and
Speaker 1: your partner is okay with that, then there's I think
Speaker 1: there's fundamentally something wrong with the relationship, with a relationship
Speaker 1: with the son and dad and with a relationship with
Speaker 1: you and your partner.
Speaker 2: But do you think that maybe your partner thinks, like, no,
Speaker 2: he's not, like, that's just what he's like, like, that's
Speaker 2: not hitting on you, Like, do you think it's more
Speaker 2: that your partner thinks that you're interpreting.
Speaker 3: The way that his dad is incorrectly.
Speaker 1: Well, the thing is that's irrelevant what he's interpreting is
Speaker 1: irrelevant to what you're feeling. If you have said, if
Speaker 1: you have said to your partner, I think your dad
Speaker 1: is hitting on me. I feel very uncomfortable and this
Speaker 1: happens all the time, and your partner still is like,
Speaker 1: it's cool, it's fine, it's just how he is.
Speaker 3: That's the problem.
Speaker 1: You have said, I'm extremely unco comfortable in this situation,
Speaker 1: like no parent should be hitting on their kid's partner.
Speaker 2: But I guess, like my only thing is is that
Speaker 2: it's probably hard for him to believe it. Like, for example,
Speaker 2: imagine if you were dating someone and they said, haybrid,
Speaker 2: I think your mum is hitting on me.
Speaker 3: You would be like, my mom's just being nice to you.
Speaker 2: Well, first, I'd like, as if totally, So I think
Speaker 2: he's in denial at this point in time, because it
Speaker 2: would be unfathomable, I think, to most people to think.
Speaker 3: That their parent was hitting on their partner. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: just went deep. Then in my head.
Speaker 2: Could you imagine could you imagine if, like, for example, yeah, exactly,
Speaker 2: that you brought home old English guy who says couldn't
Speaker 2: all the time and he thinks your mum's hitting on him.
Speaker 3: It would never I mean, my mom's a mill My
Speaker 3: mom would never do that, but I don't know.
Speaker 1: For me, a really big red flag and relationship is if, like,
Speaker 1: if you've told your partner how uncomfortable you feel about
Speaker 1: something and nothing is done about it, especially something that
Speaker 1: is like sexual in nature. That for me, I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 1: there's only so many times you can say I don't
Speaker 1: want to be in this situation anymore.
Speaker 3: It's very uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Someone very close to you is making me extremely uncomfortable
Speaker 1: if they ignore that, I think that's a red flag.
Speaker 2: I've definitely dated someone in the past whose parent I
Speaker 2: didn't get along with in terms of like I didn't
Speaker 2: feel comfortable around them, right. I found that some of
Speaker 2: their behavior was like inappropriate, and I didn't like, I
Speaker 2: didn't enjoy the interactions. And I guess I think that
Speaker 2: was very different about my situation is that when I
Speaker 2: voice that to my partner, my partner got it. They
Speaker 2: absolutely got it because they also had a bit of
Speaker 2: a complicated relationship with their parents. So the fact that
Speaker 2: they could see the issues meant that that for me
Speaker 2: was no longer an issue because I was like, okay, well,
Speaker 2: well we are united in the feelings that we have,
Speaker 2: and obviously we still would go and spend time with
Speaker 2: their parents, but like it was very much understood between
Speaker 2: us that we both kind of knew how the other
Speaker 2: person felt, I think in this instance, and the one
Speaker 2: thing that's really important is that you.
Speaker 3: Don't feel validated. That's what this comes back to, like
Speaker 3: not comfortable and not validating.
Speaker 2: Yah. Not only do you feel not validated, but you
Speaker 2: feel like your partner's gaslighting you, that you're either making
Speaker 2: it up and it's all in your head, or that
Speaker 2: you're making a big deal out of something that it's not.
Speaker 2: And I think that is the reason why this is
Speaker 2: becoming such an ultimatum for you, where you're like, well,
Speaker 2: can I stay in this relationship or not? And I
Speaker 2: think it is problematic, especially if your partner's dad is
Speaker 2: saying really misogynistic things, things that make you feel uncomfortable
Speaker 2: making sexual advances towards you, whatever it is. If your
Speaker 2: partner is not validating the way that you feel, that's
Speaker 2: the bigger issue in this. Do you remember we had
Speaker 2: this just makes me laugh, Actually not this, but the
Speaker 2: thought makes me laugh. We had an accidently unfiltered probably
Speaker 2: a year ago. Now it was this accidentally unfiltered where
Speaker 2: this girl had been having this like really amazing sex
Speaker 2: and this great relationship with this older guy, and she'd
Speaker 2: been talking to her friends about it.
Speaker 1: She'd be like, this guy's making me calm, No guy
Speaker 1: makes me come like this, Like he's incredible.
Speaker 3: Obviously a like you know, this experience, but it was
Speaker 3: like a real daddy thing, like he was old enough
Speaker 3: to be her dad.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was a lot older than her, and like,
Speaker 1: age gaps are completely fine here. The reason this is
Speaker 1: funny is she'd been talking this guy up and how
Speaker 1: good he is in bed to her friends for ages
Speaker 1: and then she's over at his house and she's gone
Speaker 1: a bad town and his daughter had come home and
Speaker 1: they heard the daughter had heard them having this amazing sex.
Speaker 3: Right, And then the girl walked.
Speaker 1: Out after the sex and looked at her friend who
Speaker 1: she'd been telling how good this man was at sex.
Speaker 1: It was her dad and he didn't even know. So
Speaker 1: she'd been banging her friend's dad and telling her friend
Speaker 1: how good he was, but out knowing it was dad.
Speaker 3: It's like, you can't write this show.
Speaker 2: It's literally the most unbelievable story that I feel like
Speaker 2: people listening to this will not believe that it's true,
Speaker 2: but I wish it was not true.
Speaker 3: It is so true. It gives us so much. Anyway, guys,
Speaker 3: that is it from us? Another ask? Gun, cut, done
Speaker 3: and ust it.
Speaker 2: Britty doesn't know what day of the week it is,
Speaker 2: so it could be Tuesday, could be Monday's irrelevant.
Speaker 3: If you're listening this when it drops, it's Thursday. I
Speaker 3: know that much. I want to ask one more time.
Speaker 2: If you haven't, if you didn't pause the episode earlier
Speaker 2: on any and you have the time now, please go
Speaker 2: jump onto our show notes, hit the podcast awards, and
Speaker 2: please go vote for us in the Listener Choice Award.
Speaker 3: It really means so much to ask it.
Speaker 1: You know. Maybe we should put it in our Instagram
Speaker 1: bios so it's easier as well.
Speaker 3: We're really going on, aren't we. What's once a year?
Speaker 3: It's all again.
Speaker 1: I really want to reiterate, guys, That's all I got.
Speaker 3: For me anyway, Please you know the drill, Tell your
Speaker 1: Mum, tell your dad, tell you don't tell your friends
Speaker 1: when share the lot Because we love love