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Speaker 1: Why family holidays hard.

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Speaker 2: Because you take the kids.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, the kids have to go.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Okay. It's the Happy Family's podcast, the podcast for the

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Speaker 3: time poor parent who just one's answers Now. Hello, My

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Speaker 3: name's doctor Justin Coulson, dads six daughters, author of six

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Speaker 3: books about raising happy families, and I'm joined by somebody

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Speaker 3: who was a mum to six daughters, my brand new

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Speaker 3: co host for the daily Happy Families podcast, missus Happy

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Speaker 3: Families herself, Kylie Colson.

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Speaker 1: Are you excited about today?

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Speaker 2: I'm so excited.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So today we're going to talk about this thing that.

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Speaker 3: Well, why don't you tell us, because because you would

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Speaker 3: the one that thought this would be a great podcast idea.

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Speaker 3: And I'm nervous about it because I've been told I'm

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Speaker 3: not allowed to winge about it.

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Speaker 1: But this is a wingy kind of thing for me.

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Speaker 2: To well today, I thought it would be really good

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Speaker 2: for us to talk about our latest family holiday.

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Speaker 1: Hence the winginess.

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Speaker 3: I don't think we should just talk about the latest

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Speaker 3: family holiday. I think we should talk about family holidays generally,

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Speaker 3: because you know, I reckon family holidays are hard yep,

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Speaker 3: So we're on the same page there, So here's what

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Speaker 3: we're going to talk about in this in this particular podcast, folks,

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Speaker 3: We're going to talk about how family holidays are hard,

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Speaker 3: and we will talk about our most recent one, because

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Speaker 3: that's why Kylie wants to talk about it.

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Speaker 1: Anyway.

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Speaker 3: I think it's just so that the gloss can come

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Speaker 3: off Doctor Justin Colson a little bit.

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Speaker 1: We'll see how this goes.

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Speaker 3: Kylie has mentioned that she wants to talk about when

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Speaker 3: family holidays actually do work, and I want to share

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Speaker 3: with you our brand new brain wave for how we

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Speaker 3: think we're going to absolutely nail our next family holiday.

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Speaker 2: Oh I'm looking forward to this.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So let's just go through the list.

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Speaker 3: Why are family holidays hard for you as a mum,

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Speaker 3: Because your list, I reckon, is going to be different

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Speaker 3: to mine.

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Speaker 2: Do you reckon?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you go for it. Why family holidays hard.

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Speaker 2: Because you take the kids, the kids have to go.

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Speaker 3: Yeah okay, yeah, if the children weren't on that family holiday,

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Speaker 3: it would be the best family holiday ever. Now, No,

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Speaker 3: we love our kids, I mean, don't get us wrong,

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Speaker 3: but they're tiring, right, So let's talk about the Well.

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Speaker 2: When you look at it, you know, you go through

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Speaker 2: a turn all of the children and parents included. We

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Speaker 2: all start to get exhausted as the term goes on, Right,

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Speaker 2: so you.

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Speaker 3: Get get to week ten and everyone's like, oh, we

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Speaker 3: need this one. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But then in order to have a great holiday, you've

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Speaker 2: number one, got to have a really good plan in place.

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Speaker 1: And how good are.

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Speaker 3: We actually getting that plan right?

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Speaker 2: It doesn't happen very often.

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Speaker 1: Okay, we have done it.

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Speaker 3: Well, but let's talk about that like, okay, requires effort

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Speaker 3: yet next.

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Speaker 2: And then you've got to actually have the energy to

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Speaker 2: execute it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And the other thing that I found is so you

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Speaker 3: get in the car and the kids start fighting with

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Speaker 3: each other, even if you're only going an hour up

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Speaker 3: the road, totally, and so you've got the siblings squabbles

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Speaker 3: and everybody's tired. Oh and it's not even that. Family

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Speaker 3: holidays are hard because depending on what you're doing, Like

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Speaker 3: even if you don't do a hotel or an airbnb

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Speaker 3: or something like that, you know, a self contained unit.

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Speaker 3: You've got to get the kids together and pack all

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Speaker 3: their gear and make sure I've remembered everything. And you've

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Speaker 3: got to get the toothbrush and the toothpaste, and the

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Speaker 3: hair brush and their hair tidy.

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Speaker 2: Well, yeah, let's just make that really clear. Who ends

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Speaker 2: up doing that?

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Speaker 3: Well, but that's because I'm now you know, I'm in

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Speaker 3: the office trying to tidy up all the loosers.

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Speaker 2: I talk about this a little bit in my blog

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Speaker 2: that's just gone.

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Speaker 3: Okay, So, for those of you who are not members

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Speaker 3: of the Happy Families membership, Kylie has this little spot.

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Speaker 3: Sorry I've said that so patronizingly. Kylie has this a

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Speaker 3: really great contribution that she makes mecembership. But that's called

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Speaker 3: Kylie's Corner. Well when you say little spot, it fits

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Speaker 3: in the corner. Kylie's Corner is actually one of the

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Speaker 3: most popular parts of our membership, where Kylie just writes

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Speaker 3: this article about her insights, and the most recent one

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Speaker 3: is actually really cool about the cognitive load that mums

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Speaker 3: carry when it comes to organizing the family. And I

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Speaker 3: don't think that it's on display any more readily than

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Speaker 3: when we're going on a family holiday, because I mean,

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Speaker 3: in our home, I'm usually so busy in the office

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Speaker 3: that I'm leaving you in charge of the planning of

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Speaker 3: the holiday, the reservations and booking of the holiday, the

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Speaker 3: planning the meals, the planning of the activities, packing the

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Speaker 3: kids stuff. I jump in and pack the car because

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Speaker 3: I'm good at packing.

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Speaker 2: Cars, very good at packing a car.

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Speaker 3: But you carry that cognitive like it's exhausting just to

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Speaker 3: get on the holiday. And we've we've got a lot

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Speaker 3: of kids, right, so five kids to wrangle and make

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Speaker 3: sure that they've put everything into their suitcases that they're.

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Speaker 1: Supposed to have.

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Speaker 3: It's hard.

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Speaker 1: And then you'd get there.

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Speaker 3: And not every family has this, but if you've got

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Speaker 3: different age groups trying to get activities.

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Speaker 1: That are going to keep everybody occupied, yeah, totally.

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Speaker 2: And I think that the hardest thing as a mom

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Speaker 2: is that you actually don't holiday. You actually don't get

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Speaker 2: to holiday.

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Speaker 3: It's NonStop because the kids normally go to school.

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Speaker 2: That's right, and I get a few hours it's a

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Speaker 2: cleaned everything. In all that.

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Speaker 3: It's really interesting because when I run my workshops, I'll

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Speaker 3: sit down with parents and I'll say, so, when's your

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Speaker 3: family the happiest And people will say, oh, well, we're

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Speaker 3: on holidays. And then I'll sort of talk to them

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Speaker 3: about are you sure about that? And we talk about

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Speaker 3: how hard holidays are.

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Speaker 1: And people start laughing, like, actually, our last holiday was

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Speaker 1: like the.

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Speaker 3: Holiday from hell. So I want to just briefly talk

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Speaker 3: about our last holiday. I promise I won't win you

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Speaker 3: too much, but this is what prompted our conversation. We

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Speaker 3: went camping. We're based in Brisbane, and we packed up

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Speaker 3: the trailer and we went to a place on the

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Speaker 3: north side of Brisbane, just near Bribe Island called Sandstone Port.

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Speaker 3: Fantastic new facility, great new holiday park. It was a spectacular,

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Speaker 3: amazing water slide. By the way, this is not product placement.

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Speaker 3: They don't even know we're talking about them. We haven't

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Speaker 3: been paid for this. But not only was there the

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Speaker 3: cognitive load of having to pack the car and get

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Speaker 3: everything organized and get there. When we went to bed

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Speaker 3: the first night, the wind was howling, and if you've

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Speaker 3: ever camped on a windy night, it's like the tent

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Speaker 3: was going to be blown to China. It was just

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Speaker 3: so impossible to sleep. The next you know, we've.

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Speaker 2: Been warned the first night at camp is never good.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't matter what the weather's like, what the wildlife's like.

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Speaker 2: That first night was such a rude shock when you

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Speaker 2: lay down on that wonderful air mattress.

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Speaker 3: So then we got woken up at four o'clock in

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Speaker 3: the morning by cookabaros, and they went off every ten minutes.

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Speaker 1: As soul.

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Speaker 3: It was worse than the snooze alarm on your phone

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Speaker 3: because at least you can turn that thing off just

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Speaker 3: every ten minutes from four am. And then the next

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Speaker 3: night we got new neighbors and they stayed up until

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Speaker 3: eleven o'clock with their music going in their loud conversations and.

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Speaker 2: Their TV's hooked in.

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Speaker 3: The gone camping and they've taken their TV and look

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Speaker 3: at that's you. That's fine, no judgment from us.

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Speaker 1: We're just going camping, so we don't watch TV. I

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Speaker 1: had a rough camp.

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Speaker 3: You actually enjoyed it a lot more than.

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Speaker 1: Me I did.

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Speaker 2: The thing that I love about camping is it just

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Speaker 2: is so simplified. Life is so much simpler with one

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Speaker 2: fork and one knife and one.

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Speaker 3: Cuff, you cause in ten minutes it's done.

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Speaker 2: I do. I wake up in the morning, the kids

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Speaker 2: go on and get ready for the day, and I

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Speaker 2: sweep out the ten and we're done in about five minutes.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, the problem is the day starts at four am.

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Speaker 3: Let's talk about two more things. Let's talk about when

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Speaker 3: family holidays do work, and let's talk about our crazy

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Speaker 3: idea for how to make family holidays awesome. So when

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Speaker 3: camping holidays and when family holidays work.

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Speaker 1: This was your idea.

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Speaker 3: When we were putting this podcast planned together, you said,

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Speaker 3: I want to talk about when family holidays work best.

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Speaker 1: So I'm curious, Well, I think I.

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Speaker 2: Really touched on it in the beginning. There has to

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Speaker 2: be a plan, especially when you've got a lot of

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Speaker 2: children or numerous age groups that you're dealing with. Having

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Speaker 2: a plan is so important.

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Speaker 3: So there was a holiday that we had. We were

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Speaker 3: living in Wollongong. We came up to Brisbane to hang

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Speaker 3: out with your family. But we well, no offense to

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Speaker 3: your family, but we didn't really want to just hang

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Speaker 3: out with the family.

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Speaker 1: We wanted to have a holiday.

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Speaker 3: We wanted to have a holiday. Yeah, that's all right,

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Speaker 3: And so you spent a couple of weeks surfing the

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Speaker 3: internet and finding activities so that every single day we

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Speaker 3: would have something to do.

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Speaker 1: We did, and it was an epic holiday. We went

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Speaker 1: to these tiny.

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Speaker 3: Little theaters and watched some you know, amateur theater productions,

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Speaker 3: and we hung out and did like we did really interesting,

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Speaker 3: unusual kinds of things that we normally would not do,

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Speaker 3: either at home or on holidays, and it was really memorable.

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Speaker 3: So when else the family holidays work, I think that

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Speaker 3: our best holidays have been we went to Club Med

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Speaker 3: in Bali and that was great. But that kind of

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Speaker 3: goes to the other thing that you said. Holidays are

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Speaker 3: also when you don't have to worry about the kids,

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Speaker 3: and Club Med had this kid's club that we didn't

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Speaker 3: have to worry about the kids. We just took the

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Speaker 3: kids to kids club after breakfast at eight thirty in

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Speaker 3: the morning, and then we picked them up at five thirty.

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Speaker 3: They were happy, they were doing activities and hanging out

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Speaker 3: with other kids, and we were happy because we didn't

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Speaker 3: have any kids. But we didn't make a lot of

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Speaker 3: memories with the kids except when we intentionally went and

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Speaker 3: pulled them out of kids Club and did stuff together

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Speaker 3: like the cooking class or the trapees or whatever it

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Speaker 3: might have been.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So I think the things that make your holiday

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Speaker 2: like the ones that have worked really well for us,

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Speaker 2: is where either you and I have actually had time

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Speaker 2: away for a couple of nights together. We get on

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Speaker 2: the same page and we have that time together to

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Speaker 2: just be together without interruption, because let's face that, once

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Speaker 2: we're on a holiday, there's really no time for you

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Speaker 2: and I at all together. And so by the time

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Speaker 2: we've had that time together and then we got a

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Speaker 2: family holiday, we're pumped, we're energized, we're on the same

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Speaker 2: page together, and.

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Speaker 3: We've had time together, which means that we've got time

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Speaker 3: to spend with the kids and we don't feel resentful

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Speaker 3: of the kids for taking away this little bit of time.

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Speaker 2: That's one thing that I feel makes such a difference

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Speaker 2: to our holidays. The only other thing I can think

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Speaker 2: of that has had the biggest impact is our ability

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Speaker 2: to be present. Yeah, we've done a lot of working

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Speaker 2: holidays where you've had to kind of duck away or

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Speaker 2: take a phone call here and there, and that has

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Speaker 2: definitely complicated our holidays a little bit. And so, you know,

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Speaker 2: just being able to be flexible with those kinds of

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Speaker 2: things sometimes has been easy and other times hasn't.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so what you're really saying is, don't take work

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Speaker 3: on a holiday.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, where possible.

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Speaker 3: All right, So we could talk more about that, but

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Speaker 3: we want to hear from you as well. Got an

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Speaker 3: email address. Podcasts at Happy Families dot com dot AU

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Speaker 3: podcasts at happy Families dot com dot you what have

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Speaker 3: been your worst holidays and what have been your best holidays?

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Speaker 3: When it comes to the family, I want to share

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Speaker 3: with you our crazy I don't know if it's that crazy,

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Speaker 3: but our thought out and well intentioned family holiday idea.

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Speaker 3: We sat down last week and we were talking about

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Speaker 3: how much money it costs to go on a holiday

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Speaker 3: and for our family. Let's say you're going to go

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Speaker 3: away for a week. You're going to do well to

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Speaker 3: do it for less than five grand, unless you go

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Speaker 3: in camping, which is even camping out to dinner a

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Speaker 3: couple of times, do the travel, pay for the site fees,

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Speaker 3: all that sort of stuff. So I do I spend

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Speaker 3: fifteen hundred dollars two thousand dollars for a week away. Now,

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Speaker 3: some families can probably do it cheap, but that's about

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Speaker 3: that sort of money. Imagine if you just stayed home

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Speaker 3: and did everything within two hours of home, and spend

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Speaker 3: the money here but had fun at home. Instead, go

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Speaker 3: on holidays at home, save on travel, save on accommodation,

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Speaker 3: save on all those expensive restaurants.

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Speaker 2: Then I have to clean my house.

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Speaker 3: Well, we won't be home enough to let that happen.

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Speaker 3: And so the idea is, so we're based in Brisbane

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Speaker 3: and there are so many things that we can do

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Speaker 3: within two hours of here. And if we were to

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Speaker 3: set ourselves a budget, let's say we've got a two

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Speaker 3: week holiday and we're sending ourselves a budget of a

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Speaker 3: couple of grand I reckon, there would be loads of

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Speaker 3: activities that we could do that the kids would absolutely love.

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Speaker 3: And we can do an activity one day and then

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Speaker 3: have a day by the pool the next day, and

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Speaker 3: then do an activity the next day and then have

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Speaker 3: a day at the beach. You know what would be

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Speaker 3: So it's free and then fee, and then free and

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Speaker 3: then fee for a couple of weeks.

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Speaker 2: I'd love to hear from our listeners if they have

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Speaker 2: any great ideas.

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Speaker 3: Would you do that? Like does that work? Podcasts at

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Speaker 3: Happy families dot com dot you That's podcast with an

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Speaker 3: s podcasts at happy families.

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Speaker 1: Dot com dot you.

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Speaker 3: Let us know your ideas about family holidays and what

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Speaker 3: makes them work and what makes them not work.

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Speaker 1: I reckon. I'm voting for stay home, especially in the

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Speaker 1: middle of a pandemic.

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Speaker 3: That way you don't have to worry about blowing your

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Speaker 3: money and not getting it back from travel agents and

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Speaker 3: all those kinds of airplane people and cruising people and

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Speaker 3: all that sort of stuff. I think that's the way

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Speaker 3: to go. Thanks so much for listening. We hope you've

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Speaker 3: enjoyed the changes that we're making to the Happy Families podcast,

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Speaker 3: and we hope that you feel like you're part of

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Speaker 3: the Happy Family's family. Kylie, I can't wait to talk

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Speaker 3: about what we're going to do tomorrow. Heavy topic, it

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Speaker 3: is a happy one. There's been some ugly stuff happening

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Speaker 3: in the news around ar twelve students, markup days, and

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Speaker 3: some horrible behavior that has been planned. We don't know

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Speaker 3: if much of it's actually happened, but it's been planned.

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Speaker 3: We're going to talk about that tomorrow. If you'd like

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Speaker 3: to leave us a review, please go to Apple Podcasts.

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Speaker 3: Leave us a five star review. We don't really need

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Speaker 3: the four, three, two or one star reviews. They're not necessary.

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Speaker 3: Just the five star reviews will be find really appreciate

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Speaker 3: you doing that Apple Podcasts. Just look up the podcast

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Speaker 3: and do what Tayuku did, who said five star review

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Speaker 3: helping almost daily. I found doctor Colson through a webinar

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Speaker 3: he did during COVID where a lot of his logic

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Speaker 3: just seemed to work for many situations with my kids,

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Speaker 3: I called on his advice and number of times during

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Speaker 3: remote learning. I'm finding the podcast very comforting. Thank you, Tayuku.

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Speaker 3: I really appreciate the five star review and also the

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Speaker 3: specific things that we've done.

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Speaker 1: That have helped you.

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Speaker 3: That's why we ask for the reviews because we get

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Speaker 3: to help other people to make their families happier as well,

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Speaker 3: So really appreciate you doing that. You can follow us

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Speaker 3: on Instagram. You can follow us on Facebook doctor Justin

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Speaker 3: Colson's Happy Families, or get more info at happy families

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Speaker 3: dot com dot au.

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Speaker 1: We'll see you tomorrow.