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Speaker 1: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.

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Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast

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Speaker 2: for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome to a shot

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Speaker 2: back Money Diary. Monday our favorite day, arguably of the week,

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Speaker 2: because we get to chat to one of our gorgeous

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Speaker 2: community members, learn about their story, learn about their finances,

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Speaker 2: get all the juicy deets. Victoria, are you pumped?

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Speaker 3: I'm very pumped, but I'll be more pumped when I

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Speaker 3: know a little bit about this diarist's story. So, Jess, spill,

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Speaker 3: what are we talking about this week?

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Speaker 2: So this week's diarists said, I'm twenty eight. Used to

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Speaker 2: have a shocking relationship with money. Overspending was my poison

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Speaker 2: for self sabotage until things around in my mid twenties.

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Speaker 2: In this time, I've put myself through UNI as a

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Speaker 2: mature age student while working full time managing a chronic

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Speaker 2: and expensive mental illness, and I've saved enough money to

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Speaker 2: purchase a house all on my own.

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Speaker 4: What all of that, I know?

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Speaker 2: Incredible? So she has gone through a whole heap of things.

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Speaker 2: I'm really excited to learn about them. A little content

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Speaker 2: warning before we get into it, though, we're going to

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Speaker 2: be chatting about mental health, specifically around eating disorders. If

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Speaker 2: that's something that's a little bit challenging for you. Right now,

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Speaker 2: give this episode a miss because we're going to dive

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Speaker 2: into it. And then there's a little bit more. She

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Speaker 2: says she's super proud, as she should be. She wants

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Speaker 2: to inspire others to do the same. A little bit

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Speaker 2: of background. Si grew up with money obsessed parents who

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Speaker 2: spent six hundred thousand dollars between them on divorce lawyers

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Speaker 2: because the relationship wasn't great. They didn't want to talk

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Speaker 2: to each other. They wanted to talk to the lawyers.

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Speaker 2: And now she's writing her own story, which we love

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Speaker 2: to see.

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Speaker 3: So I'm sorry, six hundred grand. I can't get it

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Speaker 3: on lawyers, like, not on the divorce, not like oh

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Speaker 3: I lost six hundred thousand because my ex wife took it,

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Speaker 3: or my ex husband to six hundred grand just for

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Speaker 3: the lawyers to speak to each other. Oh, let's get

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Speaker 3: her on the line, money diarist, welcome to the show.

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Speaker 3: You're on mute, all right, Good start, guys, It's only

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Speaker 3: up from here. Oh my gosh, no, I feel like

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Speaker 3: this is going to be a spicy money story because

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Speaker 3: I want to hear about you. I want to hear

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Speaker 3: about your situation. I also kind of want to hear

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Speaker 3: about your parents. So you let us know your boundaries.

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Speaker 4: Yes, they're pretty loose. Don't tell my therapist.

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Speaker 3: You just know it's going to be a good one.

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Speaker 3: By the way that our diarist enters the conversation, they're like,

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Speaker 3: what do you mean boundaries? Like all right, in saying that,

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Speaker 3: let's get into it with the first question, money, darist,

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Speaker 3: can you please tell us a little bit about your

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Speaker 3: relationship with money.

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Speaker 4: Yes, so from a young age, I guess earliest memory

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Speaker 4: of money is kind of getting two dollars pocket money

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Speaker 4: and going up to the milk bar to buy lollies.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I have one of those memories too.

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Speaker 4: Back when redskins were five cents. Two dollars is a

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Speaker 4: lot of a lot of lollies.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I remember them being like full twenty cents and

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Speaker 3: I'd be like, all right, So the milk coos and

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Speaker 3: the Redskins, which are now called something completely different. I

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Speaker 3: think they're called I can't remember what they're called, but

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Speaker 3: I mean appropriate change. I still can't refer to them

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Speaker 3: as the new name because it makes no sense, but yeah,

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Speaker 3: I remember them being a good twenty cents at some

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Speaker 3: point and that felt like an absolute stooge.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm still outraged, and I think they're a dollar.

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Speaker 3: Now, don't don't get jess and I started on the

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Speaker 3: McDonald's fifty cents. Oh that is not fifty.

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Speaker 4: Cents, I know, I know, so yes, I guess money

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Speaker 4: for me growing up was very contentious in my family.

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Speaker 4: I had parents that were very different money wise. My

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Speaker 4: dad wanted to save it. My mum wanted to spend it.

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Speaker 4: Dad is an accountant and fits the stereotype there, very

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Speaker 4: savvy and we I'm one of six kids, so my

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Speaker 4: parents had considerable living expenses raising us. I guess the

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Speaker 4: biggest point of contention between them was schooling. My dad

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Speaker 4: didn't believe in private schooling. My mum insisted on private schooling.

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Speaker 4: So that was the first battle, which my mother, who's

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Speaker 4: very headstrong one thank you, mum. And just an example

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Speaker 4: of the sort of things that would happen, like, my

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Speaker 4: dad traveled for work a lot when I was young,

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Speaker 4: and one day he went away for a week on

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Speaker 4: a business troop and he came home to my mum,

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Speaker 4: who had remortgaged the house and in a pool, so

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Speaker 4: he'd come back home. The whole pool was dougs, so

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Speaker 4: it had to be finished. And yeah, so we kids

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Speaker 4: loved it.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: Mom's the best.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, but other than that, you know, my mum

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Speaker 4: was very savvy as well, Like they didn't have credit cards.

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Speaker 4: She used to say, you know, if we didn't have

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Speaker 4: milk at the end of the week, you had toast

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Speaker 4: on Friday for breakfast. So they were very savvy. And

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Speaker 4: I'm the fifth child of six, so my older siblings definitely,

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Speaker 4: Mum was quite young when she had them, so they lived,

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Speaker 4: you know, like they had well, as they always say,

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Speaker 4: we only got one new outfit a season. You girls

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Speaker 4: get everything. So they apparently lived a very tough life

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Speaker 4: and we got more holidays. But yeah, we had I

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Speaker 4: guess we lived in privilege. But my mom sort of

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Speaker 4: always viewed it as the people around us were so

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Speaker 4: much more better off, whereas I we had everything. Oh,

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Speaker 4: I think it sat keeping up with the Joneses mentality.

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Speaker 4: Whereas like for me, I just thought I had everything

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Speaker 4: because I could do swimming lessons, I could do my

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Speaker 4: music lessons, so that was sort of the stuff I

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Speaker 4: wanted then when my parents were thirteen, so they weren't

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Speaker 4: thirteen that would be worrying. When I was thirteen.

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Speaker 3: When my parents old age.

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Speaker 4: Of thirteen, yeah, I was twenty years off being born. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: So when I was thirteen, my parents got divorced and

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Speaker 4: that was where I guess all the money stuff came

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Speaker 4: to a head. So there was a lot of fighting

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Speaker 4: in the court over money. So it was in the

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Speaker 4: court for five years. A lot of money was spent,

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Speaker 4: and it was very much like the children were pawns

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Speaker 4: in the middle of that, so to speak. So I

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Speaker 4: then started to resent money a lot. And I can

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Speaker 4: remember saving up a lot of money because I worked

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Speaker 4: hard as a babysitter from the age of thirteen, and

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Speaker 4: then when i'd get to a certain like one thousand

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Speaker 4: dollars would tick over, I would spend it all because

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Speaker 4: I'd think, I don't want it to corrupt me like

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Speaker 4: my parents, so I'd get rid of it all. But

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Speaker 4: then it was just yeah, So it was very I

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Speaker 4: had a very emotional relationship with money from a young age.

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Speaker 4: And then in high school days, everybody that knew me

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Speaker 4: knew that I was saving up all my money to

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Speaker 4: have a wedding when I was twenty didn't have a boyfriend,

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Speaker 4: but I wanted the wedding in the fairy tales, so

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Speaker 4: that was what I was saving up for.

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Speaker 3: And I mean to be honest, as someone saving for

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Speaker 3: their wedding, that's when I should have started so expensive.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I've changed my tac Now I'm not going to

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Speaker 4: have a wedding and I'm going to buy a house.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, okay, okay, so at least you've got your

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Speaker 3: head screwed on. I've decided to have a wedding.

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Speaker 4: Well, ideally i'd like both that with feuding parents. Still,

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Speaker 4: it's easier.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, easier to just bury your head in the sand

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Speaker 3: and be like, well, wedding, I don't know what you're

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Speaker 3: talking about. I'm going to hide in this freshly bought house.

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Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 3: That is genuinely so interesting. Can I assume that you

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Speaker 3: probably grew up relatively wealthy? Then I know you mentioned

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Speaker 3: like we did grow up in privilege, and then I

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Speaker 3: guess we've learned a few tip bits about you know,

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Speaker 3: spending so much in court and the fact that there

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Speaker 3: was so much arguing that usually doesn't happen. Over ten

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Speaker 3: thousand dollars for five years. Right, Would it be safe

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Speaker 3: to assume that your family was relatively wealthy growing up? Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I would definitely say we were well off. Yeah, And

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Speaker 3: how I guess as a younger child at that point

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Speaker 3: in time, were you aware of that or were you

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Speaker 3: just stoked to go to swimming lesson?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Like money doesn't matter to kids. It's like I

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Speaker 4: look at my nieces and nephews. I'm not gonna splash

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Speaker 4: cash on their presence as they don't care. They just

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Speaker 4: want your time. So for me, just never really thought

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Speaker 4: about I never thought we didn't have enough money, Like

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Speaker 4: we lived in abundance in my eyes. My mum I

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Speaker 4: think maybe wanted more or she just wanted to be

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Speaker 4: able to provide for a saul. I guess when they

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Speaker 4: got divorced, things changed a bit because all of us

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Speaker 4: kids were solely with my mum. So she went back

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Speaker 4: to work at the age of forty after having obviously

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Speaker 4: six kids, and she was a total powerhouse and just

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Speaker 4: worked her way up with no qualifications to become chief

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Speaker 4: of Style.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, so she was hustler.

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Speaker 3: Yeah she was kids, but also I'm a career bossy.

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Speaker 4: Mom, she's going to outlive us all. Yeah, so she

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Speaker 4: worked really hard. But at the same time, I guess

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Speaker 4: we'd had a lifestyle where we had two incomes and

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Speaker 4: private schooling, so that there was a lot of living expenses.

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Speaker 4: I still remember things like little things when she was

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Speaker 4: when it was just us kids with her, Like every

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Speaker 4: Thursday she would be her payday, so she'd come home

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Speaker 4: with tie takeaway for us all and with six kids,

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Speaker 4: like it would literally be a box full, and like

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Speaker 4: I just thought we were eating like kings and queens.

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Speaker 4: It was just amazing. So I remember things like that,

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Speaker 4: and I guess, yeah, she never really put it on

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Speaker 4: us that, you know, she might have been stressed about money,

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Speaker 4: but I knew that the divorce was very messy and

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Speaker 4: drawn out, like that hung over my head a lot,

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Speaker 4: So I guess I became a bit anti money from that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well we're going to get into the structured questions,

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Speaker 3: but from sorry, don't be sorry, Like I'm grateful you're

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Speaker 3: sharing it. But I guess one thing I'm picking up

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Speaker 3: from you is just like this overwhelming sense of gratitude,

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Speaker 3: like you're so excited about the things that you know

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Speaker 3: a lot of people might go, oh, yeah, we had

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Speaker 3: tie on Thursdays. You're like it best we had tie.

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Speaker 4: We did this.

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Speaker 3: Like, I just really love, you know, seeing what people

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Speaker 3: are grateful for and how that kind of like comes

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Speaker 3: out of them, especially when you talk about it, and

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Speaker 3: you know, a lot of people can grow up really well.

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Speaker 3: But it's funny to see the things that kids actually

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Speaker 3: care about.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, like you cared about as well.

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Speaker 3: I'm not going to get Yeah, I did never have

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Speaker 3: a pool. There's no way where you could have afforded

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Speaker 3: a pool. You would have been like the most popular

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Speaker 3: key on the block, Like yeah, oh I would have

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Speaker 3: been asking to come many off.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, next question on the list, what do you do

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Speaker 3: for work now? And how much money do you earn?

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Speaker 4: Yes? So I have just actually graduated as a mature

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Speaker 4: age student, so twenty eight with a Bacheler of social work,

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Speaker 4: and I for the last year have had my own

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Speaker 4: cleaning business, which has been really great from I guess

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Speaker 4: the sense of financially, but also I find it quite

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Speaker 4: rewarding all my clients, my friends, and it's great immediate

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Speaker 4: gratification and cleaning, especially if it's not your own. But

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Speaker 4: I just literally yesterday got a job in child protection,

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Speaker 4: which is where I wanted to work. And yeah, congratulations,

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Speaker 4: thank you, Look at you fly.

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Speaker 3: I love that. How much money are you going to earn?

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Speaker 4: Tell us about the.

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Speaker 3: Salary, and.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm so happy with that.

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Speaker 3: I know, thank god, I would be too.

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Speaker 4: My sister, who's ten years older than me, said, I've

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Speaker 4: never that amount of money and I've you know, got

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Speaker 4: two degrees and I'm in the wrong job. But she's

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Speaker 4: also a social workers so there you go.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, congratulations, how exciting. And that's like what

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Speaker 3: you've been working so hard to get. To tell me

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Speaker 3: a little bit about the cleaning business, though, because.

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Speaker 4: That can be lucrative, right it is, if I say

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Speaker 4: so myself. A lot of a lot of cash stuffed

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Speaker 4: in my mattress. Now I'm just kidding. I love that

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Speaker 4: for you. So yes, I actually moved into State at

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Speaker 4: the beginning of last year, heartbroken from a breakup and

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Speaker 4: ended up in New State. Didn't have a job, had

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Speaker 4: one you left of Union, thought I don't want to

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Speaker 4: do the nine to five because I'd done that my

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Speaker 4: whole degree was quite burnt out. So I just joined

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Speaker 4: the local Facebook community because I love communities. And put

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Speaker 4: out a post and just said, hi, UNI student study

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Speaker 4: social works, so people you know I was trustworthy and

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Speaker 4: just said that hourly rate is forty five dollars. You know,

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Speaker 4: I'll service this area and anyway. Within two weeks I

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Speaker 4: sort of had a whole maybe like ten regular clients.

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Speaker 4: So and then I got faster and faster at my job.

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Speaker 4: So my hourly rate now sometimes is as high as

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Speaker 4: seventy five two hundred dollars.

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Speaker 3: For good reason.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and I love when you preached. Yeah, so it's

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Speaker 4: really nice. And like during lockdown, it was it made

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Speaker 4: such a difference because I was in a new state

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Speaker 4: and like when you go out walking, I'd see people

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Speaker 4: I know and they're checking or like I had one

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Speaker 4: client that message me and said, I know you're losing

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Speaker 4: lots of work at the moment, do you want any money,

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Speaker 4: Like I'd be happy to loan it to you. So

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Speaker 4: like really lovely people. Yeah, and you know I'll arrive,

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Speaker 4: they'll offer me a cup of tea, Like they just

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Speaker 4: treat me with such respect. So it's lovely. So I'm

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Speaker 4: sad to give that up. As excited as I am,

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Speaker 4: I said to myself, I would stay cleaner if I

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Speaker 4: didn't have a thirty k hex step but I just can't.

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Speaker 3: Yes, a fair fair Are you going to do it

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Speaker 3: like on the side for.

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Speaker 4: I, Oh, I think, yeah, totally, totally, I absolutely am.

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Speaker 4: I've worked out if I could just earn three hundred

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Speaker 4: extra a week, that's fifteen grand a year.

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Speaker 3: That's a lot of money.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and that will help my house deposit dreams.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, oh my god, that will help it so significantly.

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Speaker 3: I love that. I was going to say, either are

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Speaker 3: you keeping it on the side or are you selling

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Speaker 3: the business like you're going to sell the book of.

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Speaker 4: Client absolute we could do. I know, look, I'm not

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Speaker 4: really into selling it, but I like to sink anyway

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Speaker 4: that the drawer card is me.

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Speaker 3: Yes, it absolutely is. Like I already want to invite

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Speaker 3: you over for a cup of tea if it means

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Speaker 3: like getting my house cleaned as well, like girl walk

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Speaker 3: on in.

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Speaker 4: Well, I also clean as if you know, like the

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Speaker 4: Queen's coming over. I'm very hostidious on.

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Speaker 3: My head place.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. I love that. If your cleaner is just putting

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Speaker 4: toilet cleaner in the toilet and not scrubbing it, they're

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Speaker 4: not doing a good job.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so money lost from me. I do actually have

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Speaker 3: a cleaner now. Her name is Courtney. I found her

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Speaker 3: through the She's on the Money Facebook group and she

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Speaker 3: is honestly a delightful human. On Instagram, she's called the

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Speaker 3: fairy God Nanny because she like does so much cool stuff.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god. You know Courtney's been to my house

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Speaker 3: because you like, go in the bathroom and the toilet

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Speaker 3: paper has like cute faults and stuff. She's so boogy.

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Speaker 3: It is the best expense. I I know that it's

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Speaker 3: very privileged to be able to have a cleaner, but

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Speaker 3: I cannot tell you the mental freedom that that has

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Speaker 3: afforded me, especially because like I'm working so much, like

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Speaker 3: I work sixty seventy hours a week at a minimum.

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Speaker 3: I also then I'm running three businesses, like I am

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Speaker 3: so hectic. So I feel like this is one of

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Speaker 3: those things where it's like, yeah, it's real privileged, but

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Speaker 3: it makes sense to give me my weekend back and

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Speaker 3: a little bit more mental sanity. But you're right, she

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Speaker 3: doesn't just clean the toilets like she reorganized under my sounds,

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Speaker 3: organized my bathroom. She's like, hey, v I's thinking next

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Speaker 3: week we'll just go through the fridge I'm like, you

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Speaker 3: do whatever you I will pay you. You just tell

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Speaker 3: me she's a wizard. But oh, that's good cleaner. They're

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Speaker 3: few and far between my friends and reliable.

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Speaker 4: Like if I say I'm going to show up at

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Speaker 4: nine a m. I will be their rainhill or shine

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Speaker 4: because I know the burden of the mental loan. I

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Speaker 4: think that's a female thing, but I know, like if

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Speaker 4: I've said I'll clean your house for four hours and

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Speaker 4: I don't rock up, that's your whole day out, especially

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Speaker 4: if you're having people over.

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Speaker 3: Well, moving on. You mentioned before that you want to

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Speaker 3: buy a house, So the next question is, my friend,

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Speaker 3: what's your big money goal?

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Speaker 4: Is it that? Yes, it is so twenty twenty two.

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Speaker 4: I am desperate to buy a house. Just before this recording,

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Speaker 4: I actually had a meeting with the bank to find

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Speaker 4: out my borrowing capacity, which is never as high as

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Speaker 4: you hope. But that's okay. I don't want to be

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Speaker 4: mortgaged up to my ears, so I'm trying to conservative.

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Speaker 2: Potentially chat to a broker. If you haven't, you just

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Speaker 2: said you're going to the bank.

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Speaker 4: No, I'm double dipping recently. Absolutely, you've got no loyalty

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Speaker 4: good Absolutely on.

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Speaker 3: So we need to have loyalty to our brokers, but

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Speaker 3: not to our bad Yes, that's what I meant.

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Speaker 4: So yeah we can.

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Speaker 3: We can be as loyal as we want to our brokers.

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Speaker 3: But when it comes to the banks, no, sorry, we.

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Speaker 4: Wouldn't give them a dollar? No, well, yeah, probably already doing.

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Speaker 4: Actually I refuse to pay bank fees.

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Speaker 3: So that's also a very good money habit, which I'll

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Speaker 3: ask you about soon. Tell us when this money goal

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Speaker 3: might happen, Like how much of you got in savings?

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Speaker 3: Like how much are you planning on spending? If you

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Speaker 3: had a meeting yesterday with a bang? Like what's that

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Speaker 3: look like?

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Speaker 4: So on the cards, I have one hundred k cash

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Speaker 4: deposits saved up.

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Speaker 3: And then and you've literally only just secured your first

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Speaker 3: quote professional role full time after studying.

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Speaker 4: Who are you? Yeah? Well I learnt from my mother.

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Speaker 4: Got a hustle, yeah, love it, A lot of toilets clean.

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Speaker 3: In that time, Yeah, good get it.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, I've got one hundred k cash saved and

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Speaker 4: I don't have any debts aside from my hex, which

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Speaker 4: I don't plan on paying off any earlier than I

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Speaker 4: need to. And then I have yet an income of

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Speaker 4: eighty one K. So my borrowing capacity, they said, is

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Speaker 4: roughly maybe five one hundred k.

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Speaker 3: Wow, but that's a second amount of money. I reckon

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Speaker 3: a broker would get me a way better deal potentially.

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Speaker 3: All Right, I'm so excited to hear when you buy

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Speaker 3: a house, so please keep us in the loop. But

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Speaker 3: the next question, my friend, is do you have any investments?

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Speaker 4: No, I don't, and I guess that is where I'm

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Speaker 4: really hoping to also improve this year, is get into investing.

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Speaker 4: I very much grew up with the belief that a

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Speaker 4: house is the best investment because it's a roof over

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Speaker 4: your head and that's the best security. And I do

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Speaker 4: really want that first and foremost. But I would love

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Speaker 4: to get into shares, just a minimum amount. I guess

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Speaker 4: the only other way I invest is I salary sacrifice

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Speaker 4: into my super which.

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Speaker 3: Mean really other in way that's an epic way to invest.

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Speaker 3: Who is known not really Also by the way I

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Speaker 3: do salary sacrifice in superannuation, which happens to be in

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00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,560
Speaker 3: an investment and a really good long term one. But yeah,

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Speaker 3: you not really?

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Speaker 4: Well yeah, I mean I don't see the money, so

383
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Speaker 4: I don't notice it. But that's one thing I'm huge on.

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Speaker 4: And actually I've just got a new partner and I

385
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:19,600
Speaker 4: was having a stern word to him last night for

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Speaker 4: this recording, and I said, by the way, if you

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Speaker 4: ever plan on having my children, you'll be paying my

388
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Speaker 4: super while I'm on maternity lead non negotation.

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Speaker 3: Yes, how did that conversation go?

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Speaker 4: So it was I was quite just a matter of fact.

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Speaker 4: I just said it's not fair. I also got up

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Speaker 4: the statistics on the gender pay gap, so she came prepared. Yet. Yeah,

393
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Speaker 4: it's like I'm going for a pay rise a job interview. Sadly,

394
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Speaker 4: my partner doesn't pay me a wage, but he will

395
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Speaker 4: be paying my super when we have kids, if we do.

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Speaker 3: I feel like that's a good boundary.

397
00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:02,919
Speaker 4: Yeah, early, Yeah, because also by the time you have kids,

398
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Speaker 4: in theory, you're gonna spend your life together, so it's

399
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:10,560
Speaker 4: in everyone's best interest to pay less tax. You're going

400
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,240
Speaker 4: to retire together. You know, it's a win win. I

401
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:17,399
Speaker 4: don't understand why more people wouldn't do it, but I

402
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:20,640
Speaker 4: really feel for parents, Like I've got a sister that's

403
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:24,680
Speaker 4: a single mum, and she's nearly forty and has less

404
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:27,399
Speaker 4: SUPER than me, and she's got two young girls, so

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Speaker 4: I'm really passionate about that. I never want to be

406
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Speaker 4: in a situation where money is the reason I'm staying.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

408
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,840
Speaker 3: No, I absolutely agree with that, and I think these

409
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:39,280
Speaker 3: are conversations we should be having upfront, not.

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00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:41,320
Speaker 4: Yes, okay, we're on the table.

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Speaker 3: By the way, now I'm pregnant. I was just wondering,

412
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:47,160
Speaker 3: can we talk about superannuation, Like no, Hey, here's my boundary,

413
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,320
Speaker 3: here's the conversation, so that when you get there there's

414
00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 3: no surprises. I think that that's such an empowering way

415
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:54,720
Speaker 3: of approaching things. So it's not like, oh, yeah, no,

416
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Speaker 3: I don't know what's going to happen. It's like, oh,

417
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:58,719
Speaker 3: at that point, like we'll work it out because we

418
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 3: know we're on the same page. That makes me so

419
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:05,440
Speaker 3: happy to hear. Next question, money diarist, Do you have

420
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Speaker 3: any debts?

421
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,760
Speaker 4: No, the only debt I have is hex, which is

422
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:13,399
Speaker 4: about thirty grand. Yeah, and I guess. I just bought

423
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 4: my first car twenty eight. Oh my god, so that

424
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:20,639
Speaker 4: even a debt. I bought it with cash, but it

425
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:23,040
Speaker 4: will be a bit of a money pit. It's just

426
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:26,399
Speaker 4: a two thousand and nine Yaris. But the way I

427
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:30,320
Speaker 4: drive around. You think I've got a Rolls Royce. So

428
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Speaker 4: I'm very happy with that. Yeah, so I don't have

429
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Speaker 4: any debts.

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Speaker 3: No, that's so good and I love that You're like, no,

431
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:38,960
Speaker 3: I drive it like a Rolls.

432
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 4: Roy Oh yeah, I'm fanging around town now. The trick

433
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:44,119
Speaker 4: is to keep my license.

434
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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, Like that's a very big, like big thing

435
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:50,480
Speaker 3: to consider. And Toyota's are relatively reliable.

436
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:51,439
Speaker 4: Oh yeah.

437
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:53,560
Speaker 3: My dad used to work in the car industry and

438
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:55,920
Speaker 3: he'd always be like, yeah, Toyota's like, oh yeah, by

439
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,320
Speaker 3: a good solid car, get a Toyota. So like you've

440
00:22:58,320 --> 00:22:59,960
Speaker 3: picked twelve. You've pitched very well.

441
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:02,159
Speaker 4: I said to my mum, I'm taking this car to

442
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:04,439
Speaker 4: the grave. Hopefully it's not the other way around.

443
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:08,000
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. Well, I still drive a car, so

444
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:09,679
Speaker 3: I can one up you. I still drive a two

445
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:10,720
Speaker 3: thousand and six car.

446
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:14,240
Speaker 4: So ha. Well, oh yeah, I guess two thousand and nine.

447
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:17,960
Speaker 4: Well my quota for making it was having the automatic lock,

448
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 4: like I nearly die. Yeah I got that.

449
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:21,199
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, I got that.

450
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:24,919
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I've made it already. Yeah. Second second

451
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:28,480
Speaker 4: thing is having a house that can house a golden retriever.

452
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:30,399
Speaker 4: But that's oh my gosh.

453
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 3: I actually pimped my car recently with the radio thing

454
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:37,320
Speaker 3: that goes in the lighter so that you can have Bluetooth.

455
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:38,719
Speaker 3: So my car's pimped.

456
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:43,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, that is pimped. That is pimped. Yeah I want it. Yeah,

457
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:47,480
Speaker 4: well I want some subtle, like pink interior lights. I

458
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:48,639
Speaker 4: don't know how that would work.

459
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:51,879
Speaker 3: That's very fairy. I wouldn't even know where to start.

460
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,520
Speaker 3: I'll just keep with my Randier.

461
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:56,199
Speaker 4: Well, my boyfriend's are petrol heads, so he'll do it

462
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:56,880
Speaker 4: for free.

463
00:23:57,240 --> 00:23:58,760
Speaker 3: All right, Well, get it on that.

464
00:23:59,280 --> 00:23:59,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, get on that.

465
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:02,080
Speaker 3: Maybe you could buy them on shot back, And that

466
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:05,520
Speaker 3: is the next question I have for you. And shot back, Okay,

467
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 3: I don't even need to ask shot back.

468
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 4: I absolutely shot back. It's the best. It's a no brainer.

469
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 4: I don't understand why you wouldn't. It's in built in

470
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 4: my computer. I should be on their advertising team.

471
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,159
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I feel like we're paying you for this.

472
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's so good because I literally will get

473
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,440
Speaker 4: like a chunk up and then I'll transfer fifty dollars

474
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:30,720
Speaker 4: into my account and be like sweet, that's coffee for

475
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 4: two weeks.

476
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:32,920
Speaker 3: It feels like free money.

477
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:36,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, like it's so nice. I just yeah, And then

478
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:38,720
Speaker 4: when I buy something, I go, okay, well I'm going

479
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:42,119
Speaker 4: to get twenty dollars back from that purchase. So yeah,

480
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:44,520
Speaker 4: it's just a no brainer. And they send you when

481
00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:46,800
Speaker 4: the sales are on like you do not have to

482
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,679
Speaker 4: do any of the work. They do it all for you.

483
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:51,520
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I don't. I think shot Back should

484
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:54,160
Speaker 3: absolutely reach out and be like, we're looking for new prog.

485
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:56,080
Speaker 4: Do you want to be one?

486
00:24:56,800 --> 00:25:00,200
Speaker 3: All right, money diarist? Our next question is and want

487
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,359
Speaker 3: to be shop Back? Given how excited we wear about

488
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 3: that is? What is your best money habit?

489
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:10,320
Speaker 4: Oh? I would say best money habit. I probably have

490
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:16,080
Speaker 4: a couple, but I would say it's shopping the sales

491
00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:20,400
Speaker 4: at the SUPERMARKETO. Yeah, because when you think about it,

492
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 4: your supermarket bill each week is one of your most

493
00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:28,600
Speaker 4: considerable expenses aside from you know, maybe your rent and

494
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:33,760
Speaker 4: whatever else. But I think just shopping the sales really

495
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:36,520
Speaker 4: half price is your best friend. And if something that

496
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:40,560
Speaker 4: you always use is half price, by five, but don't

497
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:42,560
Speaker 4: be an animal will leave one left on the shelf.

498
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:46,639
Speaker 4: That yeah, so I think.

499
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,119
Speaker 3: It's coming for all our toilet paper.

500
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:53,520
Speaker 4: No, I don't stop toilet paper, I can tell you. Yeah,

501
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:59,160
Speaker 4: so everything, so not just food, but when I buy clothes, gifts,

502
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,439
Speaker 4: anything like that, buy it on sale and.

503
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 3: Are you are you planning your shopping around the sales

504
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,479
Speaker 3: or are you just going to the supermarket and looking

505
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 3: for this, or like how do we learn from this?

506
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:12,600
Speaker 3: Because I feel like I want to do that too,

507
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:14,960
Speaker 3: but I'm literally the worst. Like I'll go to the

508
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:16,399
Speaker 3: supermarket and be like, all right, I'm going to make

509
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:18,800
Speaker 3: mushroom struggle off or whatever I'm going to make, and

510
00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:21,720
Speaker 3: then it's not on sale, but I already have in

511
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:23,440
Speaker 3: my head that we're having that, so I just still

512
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:26,000
Speaker 3: buy it even though mushrooms are expensive that week.

513
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, so look, I'm not about going without, like life

514
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 4: is a bit too short for that. But I will

515
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:35,960
Speaker 4: generally just go and look when i'm there. In saying that,

516
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:38,680
Speaker 4: like it's only me to think about, so I don't

517
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,440
Speaker 4: have to really take too much into consideration in terms

518
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:47,080
Speaker 4: of meal planning. Yeah, but I also get weekly emails

519
00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:50,080
Speaker 4: from Coals and Woolworth with their half priced specials, So

520
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:52,880
Speaker 4: if I'm trying to kill time, I will go through

521
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:55,440
Speaker 4: the catalog and go ooh, I'm going to get five

522
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:56,480
Speaker 4: of them this week.

523
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:59,760
Speaker 2: They actually both have on the website. If you're like

524
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:03,120
Speaker 2: the website or as website, there's actually a section where

525
00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:07,080
Speaker 2: you can see half price specials. So it'll just that's

526
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:07,920
Speaker 2: yeah price.

527
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:14,199
Speaker 4: Because I'm not interested. If it's twenty cents off, like yeah.

528
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:16,440
Speaker 2: That's a lot easier. And if you like, if you're

529
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 2: someone who likes to pre prepare, you can just make

530
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 2: your little list online and see what's half price.

531
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:22,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't even know you could do that.

532
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 4: Have you been keeping.

533
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 3: I hang out with Jessica Ricci.

534
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:38,479
Speaker 4: Money. I call that my other last money hack is

535
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:42,560
Speaker 4: I love coffee, And I recently bought a coffee machine

536
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:49,480
Speaker 4: again on shop back Hello, like dah, yeah da is

537
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:52,520
Speaker 4: there any other way? So I bought that and then

538
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:55,000
Speaker 4: I put up a piece of paper next to it

539
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:58,159
Speaker 4: and said, earning back my coffee machine. And I divided

540
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:01,200
Speaker 4: the amount that it was five dollars, which is the

541
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 4: cost of my coffee. And I would tally it every

542
00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:07,360
Speaker 4: time I'd save my coffee bit by making it home,

543
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,199
Speaker 4: so satisfying. I was like, this is the best, and

544
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:12,119
Speaker 4: now I've already paid it off, but I keep telling

545
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:14,240
Speaker 4: it just so I can be like I can read

546
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:18,240
Speaker 4: freetribute that money. Yeah, I feel like I'm making money.

547
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:20,919
Speaker 3: I've got a girlfriend who worked out how much milk

548
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 3: cost and then worked out how much per cupet was,

549
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 3: and she's like at brunch the other day being like,

550
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 3: so I've worked out my coffee's cost me forty eight cents,

551
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:32,000
Speaker 3: So I'm like, how did you even over? But like,

552
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:35,000
Speaker 3: how good is that? It's not even necessarily that you're

553
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 3: saving the money. It's the excitement that it is and

554
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 3: the gratification that you get out of it, Like your

555
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:45,040
Speaker 3: little tally, we've saved you anymore? Let's be honest. No

556
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,000
Speaker 3: kicking it off, you're like, heck, yeah, I.

557
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:50,720
Speaker 4: Still get fucked up, priceless exactly.

558
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 3: To take this down a notch, though, the next question

559
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:57,640
Speaker 3: is what's your worst money have it? So please share

560
00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 3: with the group?

561
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:02,959
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, I would have to say, without a doubt

562
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:07,720
Speaker 4: is my childhood, which has led to a lot of therapy.

563
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:12,640
Speaker 3: Oh my god, my childhood was my worst money habit?

564
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:15,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, pretty much. I have a meme on my wall

565
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 4: that says, thanks Mum and Dad for giving me everything.

566
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:21,320
Speaker 4: Now I just need a therapist to take it all back.

567
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:26,280
Speaker 4: So there's a bit of humilist into it.

568
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,520
Speaker 3: I feel like dark humor is sometimes.

569
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:29,480
Speaker 4: If you don't laugh, you'll cry.

570
00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:32,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, the only way we should be dealing with scenes.

571
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,120
Speaker 3: And if that's the way you're dealing with it, who

572
00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:36,360
Speaker 3: will wait to judge At the end of the day,

573
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:39,280
Speaker 3: I'm grateful that you're sharing your money story. We'll get

574
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 3: to it after the break as to exactly what it

575
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:45,800
Speaker 3: is and how it works. But therapy is your worst money.

576
00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:47,880
Speaker 3: I feel like that's a good investment, though I would

577
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 3: argue with you that it's not a bad money habit,

578
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:52,840
Speaker 3: that it's, you know, a not so great situation to

579
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:55,240
Speaker 3: or found yourself in. But like the fact that you

580
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 3: pay for it and that you're getting it, like you're

581
00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:59,880
Speaker 3: above and beyond a lot of other people in that

582
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:03,680
Speaker 3: situation who aren't doing it, or people who are listening

583
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 3: to this and going, oh my god, bloody, wish I

584
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:06,680
Speaker 3: could afford therapy.

585
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, well it's affording it, and it's also getting

586
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 4: into a therapist. But that's really a hard story for

587
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:18,479
Speaker 4: another day. Yeah, and really sad for people that need it.

588
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 4: But I'm lucky. My therapist calls me one of her

589
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:25,880
Speaker 4: life is I reckon. I've paid off a good chunk

590
00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 4: of her mortgage.

591
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:32,760
Speaker 3: So kind, so kind. If you want to pay off mine,

592
00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:33,360
Speaker 3: let me know.

593
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:36,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, you do have an undergrad in psych so you're

594
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:37,479
Speaker 4: halfway there.

595
00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:39,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, like I could pretend to be your therapy.

596
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,360
Speaker 4: Yeah great. All right, on to the.

597
00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 3: Last question before we get to ask even more perfect questions.

598
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:48,640
Speaker 3: Not as though this entire money diary hasn't been an

599
00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:52,080
Speaker 3: absolute shamble, which I have adored. But if we forced

600
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:54,160
Speaker 3: you to give your money a grade, what would you

601
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:55,720
Speaker 3: give your money habits.

602
00:30:55,960 --> 00:31:00,160
Speaker 4: Out of ten? I would say maybe eight?

603
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 3: Why and eight?

604
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:08,400
Speaker 4: Eight? Because I think I've really transformed my money story

605
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:12,640
Speaker 4: and habits in the last sort of seven years, and

606
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:17,080
Speaker 4: I think I don't ever feel like I go without,

607
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:21,440
Speaker 4: but I'm consciously saving and growing my wealth so that

608
00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:25,280
Speaker 4: I can leave behind well, live a good life first

609
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 4: and foremost, and then leave something behind for the people

610
00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 4: I love.

611
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:33,240
Speaker 2: And that is a b if we go on percentages,

612
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:36,400
Speaker 2: oh yes, okay, b yeah, Oh my gosh.

613
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:39,920
Speaker 3: But also the fact that you want to leave a legacy. Oh,

614
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 3: we should do a whole episode just on leaving a

615
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:44,360
Speaker 3: legacy and what that means at some point, because I

616
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 3: love that.

617
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:47,800
Speaker 4: I actually I'm leaving all my super to my brother.

618
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:54,760
Speaker 4: I've got six siblings though, so like a bit contentious,

619
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:57,160
Speaker 4: but one of them is getting the whole the whole bit.

620
00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:59,720
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. All right, well, let's go to a

621
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:01,360
Speaker 3: quick rag and then I want to ask you about

622
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:04,160
Speaker 3: your childhood and your siblings in a hot minute. All right,

623
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:07,120
Speaker 3: money direst, we are back, and I think that we

624
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:09,960
Speaker 3: should talk off the bat straight away about what you

625
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 3: called your worst money habit. You said that you had

626
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,520
Speaker 3: a serious mental illness and you spend a lot of

627
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:19,080
Speaker 3: money on therapy for that. Jess and I agreed that

628
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:20,920
Speaker 3: we don't believe that that is a money loss. It's

629
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:23,440
Speaker 3: actually a very good investment into your mental health. And

630
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:26,680
Speaker 3: you seem pretty level headed and super grateful and like

631
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:28,840
Speaker 3: the type of person that we want to come into

632
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:31,520
Speaker 3: our office and like be our best friend. But tell

633
00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:34,040
Speaker 3: us a bit more about that and that process and

634
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:37,720
Speaker 3: how much it costs you and all of the juicy details.

635
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 4: Well, I'll start by saying, you've definitely never been in

636
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:46,280
Speaker 4: the therapy room with me. If that's your wrap, Okay,

637
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 4: well that's probably.

638
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:49,440
Speaker 3: A good thing. I haven't inspiring on you.

639
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:56,080
Speaker 4: So look, I yeah, I've had a mental illness for

640
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,240
Speaker 4: I guess the better part of fifteen years. I don't

641
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 4: know how much you are to go into it, but.

642
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:04,360
Speaker 3: You can say as much you want. Like I just

643
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:07,240
Speaker 3: never asked what are your how it is because that's

644
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:09,920
Speaker 3: not my story to tell. And you get to open

645
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 3: up as much as you want.

646
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:15,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, as you want. Yeah. So I have had a

647
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 4: mental illness for fifteen years, being a diagnosed eating disorder

648
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:24,440
Speaker 4: and depression, and so that over the course of my

649
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 4: teens and twenties has led to several hospital admissions and

650
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 4: weekly therapy. So that is my biggest expense, but in

651
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 4: agreeance with you and Jess, it's the best money I'll

652
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:43,640
Speaker 4: ever spend. You're nothing without your health. I'm such an

653
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:46,040
Speaker 4: advocate for that, and I think a lot of people

654
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:47,560
Speaker 4: look at me and go, well, God, you've been in

655
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 4: therapy for ages. You're gonna do that forever. But really

656
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:54,960
Speaker 4: the alternative is to be miserable, and why would I

657
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:58,280
Speaker 4: want that? And I really wish people would go to

658
00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:00,800
Speaker 4: therapy not because they have issues, because they want to

659
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:05,120
Speaker 4: learn about themselves and improve. So that's the other benefit

660
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:08,200
Speaker 4: for me. And yeah, so it's look, I still see

661
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 4: a psychologist weekly. That's the biggest expense for me. I

662
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 4: haven't been into hospital for a number of years, so

663
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:18,480
Speaker 4: that's an issue. Thank you.

664
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:19,680
Speaker 3: How good is that?

665
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:24,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, look it's I think it's more because hospital

666
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:28,360
Speaker 4: is such a terrible place for eating disorders, so I

667
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:31,720
Speaker 4: wouldn't recommend. But yeah, look it is. It is good,

668
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:35,280
Speaker 4: and I think with age, I'm learning how to manage

669
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:39,080
Speaker 4: it better. I've got more control autonomy over it. Like,

670
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 4: for example, when I was first sick as a thirteen

671
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:44,520
Speaker 4: year old, you're reliant on your parents to get treatment,

672
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:48,000
Speaker 4: whereas now it's in my hands, which can be daunting,

673
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:52,160
Speaker 4: but you've just got to take charge and keep showing up,

674
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 4: which is what I do each week. And yeah, it's

675
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:58,680
Speaker 4: the best investment I can give myself.

676
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:01,479
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm so proud that you see it that way.

677
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:04,440
Speaker 3: I do have a perfect question because obviously this plays

678
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:08,040
Speaker 3: into our money story and our upbringing. But how did

679
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:11,120
Speaker 3: this manifest for you? Eating disorders I don't believe are

680
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:14,839
Speaker 3: understood in the way that they should be understood. And

681
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 3: I think a lot of people make the grand assumption

682
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,520
Speaker 3: that you have an eating disorder because you want to

683
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:22,880
Speaker 3: be skinny, or you don't like your body and yeah, exactly,

684
00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:25,920
Speaker 3: and so talk to me about where this kind of

685
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 3: like stemmed from and how that played into your growing

686
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:31,320
Speaker 3: up and now how it impacts you. Know, I'm assuming

687
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 3: that maybe this has something to do with you going

688
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:34,960
Speaker 3: back to UNI at a later age, Like, how's this

689
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:35,520
Speaker 3: impact of.

690
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:39,839
Speaker 4: Your life hugely? Yeah, in some ways I'm grateful for it.

691
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:42,360
Speaker 4: In some ways I'm still a bit heartbroken by it.

692
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:47,880
Speaker 4: But yes, eating disorders are massively misunderstood, and the stigma

693
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,400
Speaker 4: that is attached to all mental illness is terrible, but

694
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:55,839
Speaker 4: particularly with eating disorders, it's really tough because anytime you socialize,

695
00:35:55,920 --> 00:36:00,839
Speaker 4: anytime there's a celebration, it's around food, and that you know,

696
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 4: if you have a drug addiction or an alcohol addiction,

697
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:07,520
Speaker 4: you can take that away. But with an eating disorder,

698
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 4: and I'm not to say they're comparable at all, but

699
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:14,120
Speaker 4: you are fighting your poison every day because you have

700
00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:17,880
Speaker 4: to eat to live. So mine manifested when I was thirteen,

701
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:21,120
Speaker 4: when my parents were getting divorced. I just remember feeling

702
00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:25,560
Speaker 4: an immense amount of shame and guilt and not having

703
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:28,719
Speaker 4: an outlet for it. And I was so unhappy and

704
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:32,759
Speaker 4: sad inside, but nobody could see it. So I said

705
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:36,880
Speaker 4: to myself, well, maybe if I look different, they'll start noticing.

706
00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 4: And so I started to lose a lot of weight.

707
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:45,360
Speaker 4: And my inning disorder was always bliemia, So although I

708
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:49,680
Speaker 4: lost weight, it wasn't, you know, extremely noticeable. I wasn't malnourished,

709
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:53,120
Speaker 4: so to speak. So it was became this like I

710
00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:56,239
Speaker 4: still never forget the first time I made myself purge.

711
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 4: It becomes this outlet of you eat all this food

712
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 4: and it's like your temporary arms wrapped around you, source

713
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,400
Speaker 4: of comfort, and then you're so disgusting yourself and you're

714
00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:11,239
Speaker 4: gone make yourself sick. And then it worked for me

715
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:13,840
Speaker 4: because it was a secret outlet. If I cut myself

716
00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:16,919
Speaker 4: or self harmed, people would see it. But people don't

717
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:20,359
Speaker 4: see eating disorders as much. They're concealed. And I very

718
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:24,000
Speaker 4: much grew up in a Catholic family where we sweep

719
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:27,000
Speaker 4: things under the carpet, and you know, if you can't

720
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:28,920
Speaker 4: see it, as long as you present well and you've

721
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:32,120
Speaker 4: got your white picket fence, then the rest doesn't matter.

722
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:36,319
Speaker 4: So that hugely impacted me. It took away a lot

723
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:39,759
Speaker 4: of my youth, and yeah, just a lot of hospital

724
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:43,320
Speaker 4: admissions and just even like you know, people go, oh,

725
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:45,760
Speaker 4: you know, don't give the last piece of cake to Tory.

726
00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:47,840
Speaker 4: We know where that will go. So you kind of

727
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:51,320
Speaker 4: become the butt of jokes sometimes people are well meaning

728
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:57,040
Speaker 4: or they say, so you don't. Yeah, it's not fun.

729
00:37:57,239 --> 00:37:59,640
Speaker 4: So it is one of those things that is tough

730
00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:03,440
Speaker 4: because once you disclose it to people, they're always monitoring

731
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:07,040
Speaker 4: you around food and that is really overwhelming if you've

732
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:10,000
Speaker 4: got a needing disorder or had one. So, yeah, it

733
00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:13,719
Speaker 4: is really misunderstood, and I wish that I talked about

734
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:17,520
Speaker 4: it more openly earlier. I still struggle with it now,

735
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:19,520
Speaker 4: and I'm sure I will have friends that listen to

736
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:24,319
Speaker 4: this podcast that have no idea about that struggle. And yeah,

737
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 4: I think I guess with age you've become a bit

738
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:30,280
Speaker 4: more self assured, but there's a lot of shame attached

739
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 4: to it and misunderstood. Yeah.

740
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:36,040
Speaker 3: Wow, thank you for sharing that with us and being

741
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:38,879
Speaker 3: so open and honest about what that is and what

742
00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:42,520
Speaker 3: that means, because that's not something that's super easy to

743
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:45,520
Speaker 3: talk about, Like that's something that is, you know, such

744
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:48,319
Speaker 3: a part of you that is usually so guarded that

745
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:50,359
Speaker 3: you know, you don't let it go and the fact

746
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:52,680
Speaker 3: that you've told us and not some of your friends, Like,

747
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:56,160
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I feel so special, also honored that

748
00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:59,440
Speaker 3: you would be so open with us. What has that

749
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:03,319
Speaker 3: meant you as an adult to be able to earn

750
00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:06,520
Speaker 3: a living? Obviously, you sound like, from my perspective, and

751
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 3: absolute hustler. Like you've had a business, you saved some

752
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:13,200
Speaker 3: epic amount of coin. Yesterday, you literally got your dream job,

753
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:15,480
Speaker 3: and you are moving into that. Like it sounds like

754
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:17,920
Speaker 3: you are flourishing. But just because on the outside you

755
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:20,560
Speaker 3: look like you're flourishing doesn't mean you are. How has

756
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:24,600
Speaker 3: that impacted your ability to go to UNI, start a career,

757
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 3: start work? Like what kind of like roadblock did that

758
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:28,880
Speaker 3: put in for you?

759
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:33,040
Speaker 4: Yeah? Quite a big one. I was just too sick

760
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:37,560
Speaker 4: to study. When you're not feeding yourself, you can't concentrate,

761
00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:42,640
Speaker 4: you can't retain things. So yeah, that's I guess why

762
00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:46,440
Speaker 4: I really went to UNI. Not until I was twenty five,

763
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:49,040
Speaker 4: And I did feel a lot of pressure because by

764
00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:51,440
Speaker 4: that age, all my friends had done law degrees and

765
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:54,520
Speaker 4: they were graduating and had full time jobs, and here

766
00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:57,480
Speaker 4: I was going back to be a poor UNI student.

767
00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:01,600
Speaker 4: So I remember feeling a lot of kind of shame

768
00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:04,080
Speaker 4: around that. But I look back now and I'm like,

769
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 4: thank god I didn't come out as a twenty one

770
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:09,239
Speaker 4: year old social worker. Not that seven eight years is

771
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:10,279
Speaker 4: much difference.

772
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:11,120
Speaker 3: No, it totally is.

773
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:14,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's a quarter of my life.

774
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 4: So yeah, I'd like to think like, if I could

775
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:20,359
Speaker 4: redo it, I wouldn't change it. It's worked really well

776
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:23,040
Speaker 4: for me. But yeah, I think there was this big

777
00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:25,080
Speaker 4: fear of like will I ever do it? And will

778
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:28,880
Speaker 4: I ever finish? And I'm nearly thirty and all the

779
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:31,399
Speaker 4: rest of it. But now that I've finished, I'm like, oh,

780
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:35,480
Speaker 4: why did I you know, worry? Is I worried about it? Yeah?

781
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:38,360
Speaker 4: Like even now my new job said when do you

782
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:40,000
Speaker 4: want to start? You can start as soon as you can.

783
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:42,799
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh, I probably want like another month of

784
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:49,120
Speaker 4: freedom of bumming around and cleaning. Yeah. So yeah, it's

785
00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:52,200
Speaker 4: definitely impacted me. But I think going to the profession,

786
00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:55,600
Speaker 4: I am that there's a lot I can bring to

787
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:58,319
Speaker 4: the table to help other people and empathize with them.

788
00:40:58,719 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely.

789
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:03,640
Speaker 2: And I think you said before that you haven't felt

790
00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:07,440
Speaker 2: comfortable necessarily sharing your journey in its entirety with some

791
00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 2: of the people in your life. And I just want

792
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:12,319
Speaker 2: to point out that by doing what you're doing right

793
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:14,680
Speaker 2: now and sharing right now, it's just the three of

794
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:17,319
Speaker 2: us having a chat, but you're going to be in

795
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:20,120
Speaker 2: the ears of probably close to a million people.

796
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:24,120
Speaker 4: I was trying to tell my boyfriend last the reach

797
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:26,960
Speaker 4: of this podcast. I'm typing into Google. She's on the

798
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:31,520
Speaker 4: money stats. Yeah, don't the public. No, you have to

799
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:33,759
Speaker 4: ask us. I know, well, you need to.

800
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:38,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, that you're going to have because they will, without

801
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:42,879
Speaker 2: a doubt be people in our community who identify with

802
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:45,279
Speaker 2: you and your journey and the struggles that you've had.

803
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:49,279
Speaker 2: And it's so special that you can share that part

804
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:53,239
Speaker 2: of yourself and genuinely help other people, because I think

805
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 2: that it's a shining example of your working really hard

806
00:41:57,040 --> 00:42:00,279
Speaker 2: on yourself and you're going to therapy every week, and

807
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:04,120
Speaker 2: we stan a woman who puts herself first and who

808
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:07,440
Speaker 2: works through the tough stuff to really ensure that she's

809
00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:11,239
Speaker 2: looked after, and it's just a shining example I think

810
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:16,480
Speaker 2: of pushing through that really really challenging stuff to create

811
00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:20,160
Speaker 2: a better life for yourself. So don't feel bad about

812
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:22,600
Speaker 2: not sharing with people because you're doing it right now,

813
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:25,480
Speaker 2: I promise you. I know that we will get messages

814
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:28,880
Speaker 2: from other women saying I feel seen, I feel her,

815
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:30,080
Speaker 2: I feel understood.

816
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:34,480
Speaker 4: It's so lonely out there, and you do you feel

817
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:38,640
Speaker 4: like you're alone and nobody understands. And I always think,

818
00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:41,560
Speaker 4: with all my struggles in life, if I feel I

819
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:44,680
Speaker 4: have someone that has my back or knows what I'm

820
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:49,080
Speaker 4: going through, you can face anything generally. And so yeah,

821
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:52,080
Speaker 4: I think with eating disorders and mental illness, it's that

822
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:54,480
Speaker 4: loneliness that we really need to eradicate.

823
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:57,480
Speaker 3: But it's so true. And at the end of the day,

824
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:00,640
Speaker 3: you don't actually owe anybody anything. If you don't owe

825
00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 3: as much as they might be your friends or your family,

826
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:05,399
Speaker 3: you don't owe any of them an explanation of what's

827
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:08,040
Speaker 3: going on inside your head. And I think that's a

828
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:10,640
Speaker 3: really good message to be taking out of this money

829
00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:13,360
Speaker 3: Diary today. Is that we started it talking about you know,

830
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:15,799
Speaker 3: your parents six hundred thousand dollars divorce and there was

831
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:17,560
Speaker 3: so much money, and you know, you grew up and

832
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:20,439
Speaker 3: you had all this privilege. But that does not mean

833
00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:22,880
Speaker 3: in any way, shape or form that you didn't have

834
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:25,279
Speaker 3: any struggles. You didn't have things that you needed to

835
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:28,760
Speaker 3: get through. And often if you're not going through something financial,

836
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:31,200
Speaker 3: you might be going through something personal. And everyone has

837
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:34,879
Speaker 3: their own journey, and everyone has their own journey to success.

838
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:38,120
Speaker 3: And just because you might be disadvantaged in one way,

839
00:43:38,239 --> 00:43:40,759
Speaker 3: shape or form growing up, doesn't mean you can't change

840
00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:43,279
Speaker 3: your life and doesn't mean you can't change your situation

841
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:46,880
Speaker 3: because look what you've done, because it was so crippling

842
00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:49,239
Speaker 3: and it is so ingrained in what you are. And

843
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:52,279
Speaker 3: I think before we you know, I've got a few

844
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:53,560
Speaker 3: things that I want to say, but I think it's

845
00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:56,279
Speaker 3: really important. I guess what would you say, like fact

846
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:58,719
Speaker 3: check this and just like share with you guys if

847
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 3: you haven't listened to every single episode if she's on

848
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:02,879
Speaker 3: the money, and you might have missed it that I

849
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:06,560
Speaker 3: have struggled with eating disorders for a very significant portion

850
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:09,280
Speaker 3: of my life. And that's not something that I believe

851
00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:12,960
Speaker 3: I struggle with today, and it's something that I believe

852
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,799
Speaker 3: I have quote gotten through the worst of it with

853
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:19,040
Speaker 3: because I now look back at, you know, fifteen, sixteen

854
00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:22,040
Speaker 3: year old Victoria, and it's like a different person, Like

855
00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:25,759
Speaker 3: it's looking at this person that I just can't comprehend existed,

856
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:29,560
Speaker 3: like I can't from this perspective. And this is again

857
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:32,560
Speaker 3: money Darist through lots of years of therapy, because that

858
00:44:32,680 --> 00:44:35,000
Speaker 3: is a very good investment. But I look at it

859
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:37,560
Speaker 3: and go, I just don't understand her mindset. I don't

860
00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:40,279
Speaker 3: understand her mind frame. That's not her value. And I

861
00:44:40,320 --> 00:44:42,960
Speaker 3: wish I could scoop her up and remind her of that.

862
00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:45,560
Speaker 3: And I guess that's, you know, really important for me

863
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:49,359
Speaker 3: to preface before I continue this discussion, because I hate

864
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:52,439
Speaker 3: it when I hear people talking about topics that maybe

865
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:55,759
Speaker 3: they haven't experienced, or having opinions on things where you're like, well,

866
00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:57,960
Speaker 3: you don't know what it's like. And this is one

867
00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:00,319
Speaker 3: of those topics where, yes, my friends, I actually do

868
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:03,919
Speaker 3: and it's not you know, it's not something to gloat

869
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:06,439
Speaker 3: about it. It's not something that should be glorified. It's

870
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:09,279
Speaker 3: not something I ever wish anybody experienced. You know, I

871
00:45:09,320 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 3: wish I didn't experience it, but I have been hospitalized

872
00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:15,840
Speaker 3: for it, and it's unfortunately something that you don't shake.

873
00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:19,399
Speaker 3: So like an eating disorder and money, Darist, you said

874
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:22,239
Speaker 3: earlier that you know you're a lifer with you with

875
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:26,240
Speaker 3: your psychologist, and I laughed a little bit because same,

876
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:29,520
Speaker 3: because you don't shake it. It's one of those things

877
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:32,080
Speaker 3: that kind of sticks with you and that unfortunately, you

878
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:34,520
Speaker 3: will deal with for the rest of your life. And

879
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:37,600
Speaker 3: you will actually, you know, go through ebbs and flows,

880
00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:40,880
Speaker 3: and during periods of stress, maybe those things resurface and

881
00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:43,200
Speaker 3: you need a little bit more therapy, or you know,

882
00:45:43,239 --> 00:45:45,279
Speaker 3: you might find yourself in a position like I'm in

883
00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:47,560
Speaker 3: at the moment where I'm not struggling with it at all.

884
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:49,960
Speaker 3: In fact, I believe I have a really really healthy

885
00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:54,400
Speaker 3: relationship with food at the moment. However, it ebbs and flows.

886
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:56,719
Speaker 3: And the thing that I find so interesting about it

887
00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:59,960
Speaker 3: is that other people don't understand that. Other people don't

888
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:02,759
Speaker 3: see that that is maybe a stress point for me.

889
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:07,520
Speaker 3: And it's interesting interacting with my parents, for example, if

890
00:46:07,560 --> 00:46:09,800
Speaker 3: I say I'm really stressed at work, that'll be like,

891
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:13,319
Speaker 3: are you eating well? Like it always comes up. Do

892
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:15,759
Speaker 3: you find that that's something that you know you just

893
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:17,760
Speaker 3: can't escape in your family or yes.

894
00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:22,960
Speaker 4: One hundred percent, And like it's annoying because when they ask,

895
00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:24,960
Speaker 4: it's probably not the time I'm going to give a

896
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:26,200
Speaker 4: truthful answer anyway.

897
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:28,439
Speaker 3: No, I'm gonna lie to you through my tea.

898
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:32,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly. But it's also like, yes, Mum, I had

899
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:35,360
Speaker 4: to eat because like you've got to eat, you can't not.

900
00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:40,360
Speaker 4: So yes, it is always the scapegoat of the problems.

901
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:41,680
Speaker 4: Oh it must be eating.

902
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and it's really really frustrating. But I think

903
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:47,520
Speaker 3: something that we should talk about so much more openly

904
00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:51,360
Speaker 3: because these things, as you mentioned before, you weren't nourishing

905
00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:54,759
Speaker 3: yourself enough to concentrate, so you couldn't go to UNI yet.

906
00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:56,800
Speaker 3: And that's not something I think a lot of people

907
00:46:56,920 --> 00:47:00,960
Speaker 3: might think when you're know, well I'm struggling with mental health. Yeah,

908
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:03,160
Speaker 3: like that's a big part of it, Like you need

909
00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:05,560
Speaker 3: to nourish yourself, you need to care for yourself. And

910
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:07,960
Speaker 3: ah just makes me so happy to know that you're

911
00:47:07,960 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 3: putting yourself forward and that you're in this situation where

912
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:12,960
Speaker 3: you've got your dream job and you've got this house

913
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:15,879
Speaker 3: deposit saved, and you've hustled your butt off to get

914
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:19,200
Speaker 3: to this position. But it's not without struggle, and I

915
00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:21,920
Speaker 3: think so easily people at the start of this money

916
00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:24,239
Speaker 3: diary might have been like, here we go, a privileged

917
00:47:24,280 --> 00:47:27,040
Speaker 3: money diary who had a whole heap of money and

918
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:30,480
Speaker 3: no worries in the world when that's just not the case.

919
00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:34,839
Speaker 4: Yeah. I think everyone has their own struggles and it's

920
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:37,839
Speaker 4: all relative to what you know. So sometimes I tell

921
00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:40,359
Speaker 4: people about my child and they go, oh, well, god,

922
00:47:40,520 --> 00:47:42,319
Speaker 4: my problems aren't as bad as yours, and I'm like,

923
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:45,560
Speaker 4: that's not true. It's it's what you know, and it's

924
00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:49,920
Speaker 4: your Yeah, your struggles, so you can't there's no hierarchy.

925
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:53,040
Speaker 3: No exactly. And I think it's really important to understand

926
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:56,799
Speaker 3: that just because somebody else had it worse, quote, yeah,

927
00:47:56,800 --> 00:47:59,319
Speaker 3: it doesn't mean that you're Yeah, it doesn't make your

928
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:02,000
Speaker 3: struggles in valid. And I think we really need to

929
00:48:02,040 --> 00:48:05,000
Speaker 3: approach life that way that she's on the money community

930
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:07,120
Speaker 3: that way, like, yeah, you're right, someone could have had

931
00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:08,799
Speaker 3: it better, someone could have had it worse. It doesn't

932
00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:11,400
Speaker 3: mean that your struggles aren't valid. And I think a

933
00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:15,240
Speaker 3: lot of the time personally, people take it on themselves

934
00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:17,480
Speaker 3: to be like, oh, like, I need to stop complaining

935
00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:20,160
Speaker 3: because somebody else who had it worse. It's just not

936
00:48:20,239 --> 00:48:22,400
Speaker 3: the way we should be treating ourselves. We need to

937
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 3: respect our own journeys, and to do that, we need

938
00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:28,040
Speaker 3: to acknowledge them. So, oh, thank you so much for

939
00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:31,799
Speaker 3: sharing all of this with us Money Diarist. We are oh,

940
00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:34,279
Speaker 3: we are so grateful and so honored to have had

941
00:48:34,320 --> 00:48:37,120
Speaker 3: you on the show and to yeah, have had you

942
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:38,960
Speaker 3: be so open with us. I know that it's going

943
00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:41,360
Speaker 3: to impact so many people in the best of ways.

944
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:46,320
Speaker 4: Thank you. It's been an absolute pleasure to see you both,

945
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:47,960
Speaker 4: and yeah, thank you for having me.

946
00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:51,160
Speaker 3: I've loved it, oh my gosh, of course. But unfortunately

947
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:54,040
Speaker 3: I do think that is all we have time for today.

948
00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:56,759
Speaker 3: But just before we head off, we'd like to acknowledge

949
00:48:57,000 --> 00:49:01,040
Speaker 3: and pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal and Torris Straight Islander peoples.

950
00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:04,600
Speaker 3: They're the traditional custodians of the lands, the waterways and

951
00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:08,160
Speaker 3: the skies all across Australia. We thank you for sharing

952
00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:10,200
Speaker 3: and the caring for the land on which we are

953
00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:13,160
Speaker 3: able to learn. We pay our respect to elders past

954
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:16,160
Speaker 3: and present, and we share our friendship and our kindness.

955
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:17,600
Speaker 3: See you next week, guys.

956
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:19,760
Speaker 4: Bye,