Speaker 1: I had a giggle. I had a little chuckle on
Speaker 1: the way here, and I'm sorry if the person it
Speaker 1: happened to does listen, which I fucking highly doubt it.
Speaker 1: What are the chances of that near my place? As
Speaker 1: a dog park on the way here? So I pulled
Speaker 1: up at the lights and it was quite busy because
Speaker 1: it was right in school time. And I look over
Speaker 1: and this guy has must have stepped in dog shit
Speaker 1: in the dog park, and he's picked his foot up
Speaker 1: to look at it. In doing so, he's lost balance.
Speaker 1: He's sort of like hand in his leg, and the
Speaker 1: dog leash got caught up all together. He just went
Speaker 1: into the dewy, wet grass, potentially still dog shit all
Speaker 1: over the guy. And then the light went green and
Speaker 1: I just left a great day.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to two dating dads. I'm Maddie Jay and Mash.
Speaker 2: This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good,
Speaker 2: it is the bad, and the later. And if you've
Speaker 2: come for advice, don't do it stop right now. There's
Speaker 2: plenty of other podcasts out there that have intelligent people
Speaker 2: speaking about parenting, but it is not Ash nor myself.
Speaker 1: I'm plenty of intelligent, how dare you?
Speaker 2: Are you?
Speaker 3: Though?
Speaker 1: Before we get into it, should we crack a little
Speaker 1: cold beer, a little brusky little bruce key from Stonewood.
Speaker 1: We are drinking the Pacific ow she is my friend,
Speaker 1: before you are.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry I've taken this sip.
Speaker 1: Early April heard that Laura had tried on the stone Wood.
Speaker 1: So she's trying to Stonewood. Look, she's not all the
Speaker 1: way converted, but I'm working on it. She did enjoy
Speaker 1: a little passion fruit tropical notes. Every other beer that
Speaker 1: she's put to her mouse she's hated, So put the
Speaker 1: right foot forward here.
Speaker 2: Well, it's an easy drinking beer. It's approachable, it's not
Speaker 2: too scary. It's subtle.
Speaker 1: It's like juice.
Speaker 2: It's like it's like juice, but a refreshing, hoppy type
Speaker 2: of juice.
Speaker 1: Yes, And the Pacific Al is the beer that puts
Speaker 1: stone and wood on the map, getting its name from
Speaker 1: the Pacific Ocean, coming from Byron Bay. It is Barron
Speaker 1: Bay in a bottle question? When did you get a
Speaker 1: beer fridge in your garage the day I was born?
Speaker 1: So cheers the stone Wood. As always, we appreciate you
Speaker 1: and allowing this episode to be possible.
Speaker 2: So cheers, I'll do it. Cheers. Sorry for doing the
Speaker 2: premature sip. Has your eyebrow?
Speaker 1: I do have a pimple in my eyebrow right now.
Speaker 2: I can't see it. No, oh there it is there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, fucking hurts up. This morning, I was like, I've
Speaker 1: been shot.
Speaker 2: Right on the little tip of your eyebrow. At least
Speaker 2: it's hidden.
Speaker 1: It is hidden on here. That's why I haven't shaved
Speaker 1: with another one. Under here.
Speaker 2: You're breaking out. You're going through puberty for the second time.
Speaker 1: I could use a bit of extra length in my penis.
Speaker 1: Also before we get into it. Obviously we had Oscars
Speaker 1: party that has been and gone.
Speaker 2: But so Wednesday, I think mum's come Ellie, do you
Speaker 2: want to come down? Yeah, come on down, Come on down.
Speaker 2: I just going to interrupt. Oh god, okay. Ellie is
Speaker 2: currently yelling from the top of the stairs saying that
Speaker 2: she was left in the dark regarding this episode. But
Speaker 2: like you said, we record every single Wednesday. And then
Speaker 2: when you guys knocked on the door, she was like,
Speaker 2: who's that, I'm naked.
Speaker 1: I didn't even knock.
Speaker 2: Elle, Are you coming down?
Speaker 1: Jesus credible? Getting yelled at what I was saying you
Speaker 1: are father of toddler's toddler now now a young child
Speaker 1: birthday of mind?
Speaker 2: When does toddler stop?
Speaker 1: But I think four drackon.
Speaker 2: Okay, I still refer to Marley's being a toddler child. Okay,
Speaker 2: I just don't like the idea of them growing up.
Speaker 1: Yes, agreed, Actually no, disagree. I can't open the group
Speaker 1: and move out anyway. When they have birthdays Christmas, you
Speaker 1: get presents from people that you think, why the fuck
Speaker 1: did you get me that? Why did you get this
Speaker 1: child that? Because they've got it intentionally to annoy you.
Speaker 1: So my parents, my mom found something at an opshop
Speaker 1: and she thought, the kids will suck him up this,
Speaker 1: but Ash will hate this because it's annoying.
Speaker 2: This is something that would be he got for his birthday.
Speaker 2: Like I'm thinking about the microphone, the carry out, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Remember the carry out similar thing also still in the garage,
Speaker 1: hasn't been opened. That genius.
Speaker 2: Get rid of that right now.
Speaker 1: I was going to keep it because I thought, maybe just
Speaker 1: two mikes, maybe one day we could do something funny
Speaker 1: with it.
Speaker 2: Stuff the kids for us, it's not for them.
Speaker 1: But my parents bought Oscar something annoying. For his birthday,
Speaker 1: and I'm going to show you really quick. Great. First
Speaker 1: of all, I'm going to show you that I want
Speaker 1: you to guess what it is, Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2: That looks like it could kill me.
Speaker 1: Okay, it looks like a bit of a megaphone.
Speaker 2: That looks it looks like something you'd see in Men
Speaker 2: in Black. Yeah, it does look like a man in
Speaker 2: black gun.
Speaker 1: So I'm going to pull the trigger and give you
Speaker 1: an idea of what this is. Let's say I'll do
Speaker 1: it into the mind.
Speaker 2: That is fucking amazing. It's a fart gun. Now are
Speaker 2: these self recorded or are they like preloaded?
Speaker 1: Imagine the guy's job it is to preload that. He's like, hey,
Speaker 1: my god, one, let me record this one. Into the gun.
Speaker 1: So it's a fart gun.
Speaker 2: It's like an art deco design.
Speaker 1: Looks like it's to make it obnoxious.
Speaker 2: Look at like the little fart chamber at the top.
Speaker 1: It gets worse. Okay, that one. That's what they got, Oscar.
Speaker 1: Can I just give it a quick of course, pull
Speaker 1: the trigger, pull my finger. They should have made the
Speaker 1: trigger a finger, and you pull it.
Speaker 2: Brilliant, brilliant. You're in the wrong, wrong profession.
Speaker 1: If that toy company is listening. It's so like annoying
Speaker 1: because kids are so trigger happy. I've broken it, I'll
Speaker 1: be broken it. There's not enough switch, you might it's working.
Speaker 1: It was from an op shop.
Speaker 2: What's the RP on this? How much you pay? I
Speaker 2: think she paid two bucks shown out to think we're
Speaker 2: toys who have made this.
Speaker 1: So there's this one. But as you know, Oscar is
Speaker 1: the eldest of my children and I have a younger child.
Speaker 1: I don't know Macy And you think, oh, they'll just
Speaker 1: share it. No, there's a mini version.
Speaker 2: That is incredible, So that's going to be one of
Speaker 2: the best fines from an op shop.
Speaker 1: Surely this one is actually not that one was, but
Speaker 1: this one was found after that one was found, and
Speaker 1: they thought it'd be way funnier. Two give that and
Speaker 1: then go how annoying is this? But also how annoying
Speaker 1: is it that your little sister now has one too.
Speaker 2: You know what's funny is that they're not the same brand.
Speaker 1: No, well, this one's like this, this is vintage.
Speaker 2: That's vintage Old Man Father, and that's that's more progressive.
Speaker 2: That one's made in China. The Vietnamese fart gun sounds
Speaker 2: slightly different, and it's got an accent well, and they're
Speaker 2: very different cuisines.
Speaker 1: This is honey chicken, this is noodles. That's a Vermicelli salad.
Speaker 2: Very good.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm dealing with now, guys. So just a
Speaker 1: little tip for those who are buying presents for children,
Speaker 1: don't get anything annoying.
Speaker 2: Farts are always a great shout. Fat. I have turned
Speaker 2: into you once again. Ash. It's funny how the world works.
Speaker 2: It's flipped, it's flipped.
Speaker 1: I'm an impressionable young man.
Speaker 2: Who would have thought when we started this podcast we've
Speaker 2: been in a position twelve months later where you're the
Speaker 2: one throwing the birthday parties and I'm the one that's
Speaker 2: decided that I've had enough of birthday parties.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, because it is Marley's birthday today, Marley's birthday.
Speaker 2: As we record this Happy birthday to my beloved child.
Speaker 1: I noticed that you sent a straight off Kindy center
Speaker 1: of the kindy birthdays.
Speaker 2: We gave her a happy birthday badge.
Speaker 1: Happy birthday, does your kindya allow cake? Oh no?
Speaker 2: Which is great though, which is great So because of
Speaker 2: there's like a couple of kids with dietary allergies. They
Speaker 2: make the birthday cake there and it's great because they
Speaker 2: can't get the hair. The kids will do it together,
Speaker 2: so they do like a.
Speaker 1: Make it out of play thom.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they like eat this. But it's perfect because it
Speaker 2: means that you don't have to go out and you know,
Speaker 2: get twenty thousand cupcakes. Yeah, we drop it off as well.
Speaker 1: Well, we just do the ones from like Woolies and Tiny.
Speaker 2: Very good idea, but I think it's great. I love
Speaker 2: the fact that we don't have to give the birthday
Speaker 2: cake slash cupcakes to the kids. Marla's excited, except we
Speaker 2: were like, man, we've done a big birthday party every
Speaker 2: single year for Marley.
Speaker 1: Big mistake.
Speaker 2: You know what they're like, you know, as someone to
Speaker 2: just come off the back end of a birthday party,
Speaker 2: they're a fucking nightmare. Also really expensive, like when you're
Speaker 2: like when you're add.
Speaker 1: It all, we managed to get away with it pretty cheap.
Speaker 2: Well, everyone I saw you at your birthday party. You
Speaker 2: were get more dinosaur nuggets and chips and drinks.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's at me broke dinosauggets.
Speaker 2: And I'm just going to stop for a second because
Speaker 2: my beloved Ellie is now walking down the stairs. It
Speaker 2: was looking fantastic. Wow, look at her hair. Give me
Speaker 2: the finger, settle down, Oh, relaxed.
Speaker 1: If it wasn't for the membership card, I be broke. Yeah.
Speaker 2: But we decided we're going to do something just just
Speaker 2: the found family.
Speaker 1: I'm fine with that. That's what I tried to tell
Speaker 1: people when I got shamed for it. But people like
Speaker 1: you got and child of its birthday.
Speaker 2: The outrage. People came at you with pitchforks and like
Speaker 2: burning sticks.
Speaker 1: Of my house.
Speaker 2: We'll drag him outside and we'll hang him up by his.
Speaker 1: Neck, make an example of him.
Speaker 2: So we decided that this is the year we'll do
Speaker 2: something very quiet, nice in the backyard. Nice, just the cousins. Nice.
Speaker 2: And it's good news for you because you don't have
Speaker 2: to drive out an hour on the weekend.
Speaker 1: I'll be here, give m something to do.
Speaker 2: But we had an early birthday press birthday present, birthday
Speaker 2: present for the kids.
Speaker 1: Kids, kids, there's one. It's one kid's birthday. A are
Speaker 1: you combining them?
Speaker 2: I would It was actually a birthday gift for the
Speaker 2: whole family. Ash, I I don't know how to tell you.
Speaker 2: I don't want to freak you out. I don't panic.
Speaker 2: It's not a big deal, isn't it. Everyone goes through this.
Speaker 2: We're just going to come out and say, Okay, come
Speaker 2: out and say it. Don't freak out.
Speaker 1: I was pregnant.
Speaker 2: We have knits. It's happened. We've been taken down.
Speaker 1: Why am I scratching my head? My god? Why did
Speaker 1: you drag me into this house with nips in it?
Speaker 2: Because the podcast was.
Speaker 1: Just laying down over there on the on the thing
Speaker 1: and it's funny close over there, kids closed, I just
Speaker 1: what's the now?
Speaker 2: Apparently they don't survive outside of the scalp for more
Speaker 2: than like four hours.
Speaker 1: Apparently, Okay, what time did the kids go to? Kindy?
Speaker 2: We got one more hour and they're still kicking.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: So my sister putting this on. My sister, her kids
Speaker 2: have nets, Kate, and we said I never had knits
Speaker 2: as a child, never, not once. I'm pretty sure because
Speaker 2: my hair is really thin, and unfortunately my two girls
Speaker 2: have really thin hair. Also, Laura, we're a family of
Speaker 2: thin haired people.
Speaker 1: That's not good for you in the future.
Speaker 2: Not good for me in the future, great for us
Speaker 2: now because it means the knits like the thick hair.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And the thing is with thin hair too, it's
Speaker 1: easy to get them out, easy to find them on
Speaker 1: the scale. Yeah, Unfortunately, I'm a house full of thick
Speaker 1: haired people.
Speaker 2: Have you had knits before? Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, when I was a kid, I had them a
Speaker 1: few times because I had a mop of hair, and
Speaker 1: you know how thick my hair. If you ran your
Speaker 1: fingers to the back of in.
Speaker 2: My mind, I would fucking love to do that.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't be able to get them out so thick.
Speaker 1: And my mom's like that, Dad baled, that doesn't make
Speaker 1: a care. My sisters well, quite thick hit.
Speaker 2: Macy, she's she's a thick haired child.
Speaker 1: She has her thick hair. Osco maybe not so much.
Speaker 2: But have they had the girls? Sorry the girls? Oscar
Speaker 2: as a boy has Oscar and Macy? Have they either
Speaker 2: one had nits? Not yet? Na. Man, it's a fucking nightmare.
Speaker 1: Oh I know, mate, I remember as a kid, my
Speaker 1: mom was like, what the fuck? And it's probably more prevalent,
Speaker 1: you think, in primary schools than with kidney. You get
Speaker 1: the alert like there's headlines going around. You just don't
Speaker 1: send them the next day, let them fumicate or whatever
Speaker 1: they do.
Speaker 2: But we said to my sister after she warned us,
Speaker 2: because we're hanging out all weekend. She goes, my kids
Speaker 2: have nits.
Speaker 1: Just after you got a pre worn probably pre.
Speaker 2: Warn I wasn't listening, and we were like, look, we
Speaker 2: don't get nits. We're not a knit kind of family.
Speaker 2: Appreciate the concern, but it's not me. I love the
Speaker 2: cock in it.
Speaker 1: We don't get it around here for poor people.
Speaker 2: Next day, I had a little look in Marley's hair
Speaker 2: and I was like, holy shit. They were running everywhere
Speaker 2: in this house, and we like all weekend, we've done
Speaker 2: multiple You know, you do have to put this oil
Speaker 2: in first, Let the oil sit for ten minutes and
Speaker 2: the kids are like getting oil everywhere, like handprints all
Speaker 2: over the furniture. Have a solution, and then you've got
Speaker 2: to go through the comb. If the comb hurts, dude,
Speaker 2: I did. I had to do it as well.
Speaker 1: Is it the electric comb? We've seen those. It's an
Speaker 1: electric will go through and just kills them on the
Speaker 1: spot as you're going through the hair instead of you
Speaker 1: having to dig it out. It's like it might be dangerous.
Speaker 1: It's like the flag zappas, but you know I love
Speaker 1: killing insects. I didn't know I have a look into that.
Speaker 1: I had the old school.
Speaker 2: Laura was doing my hair and I've got some footage
Speaker 2: that I'll put in there. It fucking hurt.
Speaker 1: It's so thin.
Speaker 2: Oh dude, it just like this a solution, like I
Speaker 2: need to hold onto as much as I can.
Speaker 1: Shave their heads. Message you imagine.
Speaker 2: But okay, the big the big problem was, dude, you know.
Speaker 1: Put the bold filter on them on the and be
Speaker 1: like would this be okay? For a couple of weeks.
Speaker 2: We we didn't want to not send them to daycare
Speaker 2: because because just before people come at me and start
Speaker 2: attacking me. This is on Saturday, and then Sunday we'd
Speaker 2: like done like three or four treatments. The kids were fine,
Speaker 2: kids were good, right, so they were good to go
Speaker 2: to daycare on Monday. Anyway, as we're walking in a daycare,
Speaker 2: I'm dropping them off, and then Marley and Laula are like, hey, everyone,
Speaker 2: we had nets on the weekend, and I'm like shit,
Speaker 2: and I'm like no, no, no, it's fine, no more nets.
Speaker 1: Just to show it, guys, I'm like, shut up, shut up.
Speaker 2: Shut up, shut up. So okay, I'm going to say
Speaker 2: that we're knit free at the moment.
Speaker 1: I'll be the judge of that. But if I'm itching
Speaker 1: on the car in the car on the way home,
Speaker 1: you my friend, I just want to trouble.
Speaker 2: I want to warn people out there there. If you
Speaker 2: do think that you are not at risk of knits,
Speaker 2: just be careful because the moment you relax, the moment
Speaker 2: you stop worrying about them, that's when they attacked, and
Speaker 2: they will fucking take you down.
Speaker 1: No one's safe and Maddie Jay's message Maddie Jay's messages.
Speaker 1: Rich people can get this too. It's not just football, but.
Speaker 2: It's don't discriminate.
Speaker 1: They do not discriminate.
Speaker 2: I will take anyone down, regardless of your income.
Speaker 1: So knit free at the moment, which is good to hear.
Speaker 1: I am presuming that we may have some knit conversations
Speaker 1: in the near future, because as they get older, they
Speaker 1: bump heads together and all th all sorts of things,
Speaker 1: and as their hair gets longer too, like with girls,
Speaker 1: their hair gets longer all the time, and then they
Speaker 1: Macie pulls her hair out of the thing's s I'm
Speaker 1: not looking forward to that. I forgot about knits, so
Speaker 1: just now sorry, but I did have them a lot
Speaker 1: as a kid.
Speaker 2: I apologize U.
Speaker 1: Matt Oscar has a new friend, and I want to
Speaker 1: tell you about this new friend that's really sweet and
Speaker 1: how new friendships start, they bloom, they blossom. This friendship
Speaker 1: is with Siri.
Speaker 2: Kids kids love Siri, so.
Speaker 1: It's I quite often catch him asking Siri how she
Speaker 1: slept or how she's feeling today. I've got some I've
Speaker 1: got some footage that I want to show you. We'll
Speaker 1: put this in for socials. Everybody did have a nice morning?
Speaker 2: I love how he asks the second time, and he's
Speaker 2: a bit like answering I said, did you have a
Speaker 2: nice morning?
Speaker 1: I know, and he sometimes at night he's like, good night, Siri.
Speaker 1: I keep missing getting footage, but April's got some more footage.
Speaker 1: But this is what I've got so far of him
Speaker 1: saying did you have a nice sleep? Or sometimes he
Speaker 1: gets frustrated because, like you said, Sirih sometimes doesn't answer bad.
Speaker 1: But like all good friendships, there's there's troubles. They have tips,
Speaker 1: they have misunderstanding, peaks and troughs. Peaks and troughs. So,
Speaker 1: like I said, I get all friendships. It's this is
Speaker 1: no different. So I have another video.
Speaker 2: Gone through a rocky patch.
Speaker 1: Of Oscar and Siri having it go through a little
Speaker 1: bit of a rocky patch. Show why you're not listening
Speaker 1: to me, Mike. So I was gonna get very frustrated
Speaker 1: when Siri doesn't listen to him or searches for the
Speaker 1: wrong thing.
Speaker 2: Siries sometimes a bit stupid.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's be honest, but let's I wanted to bring
Speaker 1: this friendship to light and then I'm just gonna give
Speaker 1: you some updates to how it progresses over the next
Speaker 1: couple of weeks because I feel like the friendship's really blossoming.
Speaker 2: Does he understand But obviously the concept of Siri is
Speaker 2: a bit much for a young child. Does he understand
Speaker 2: that series not personally? Oyay?
Speaker 1: Cool?
Speaker 2: So I'm going to keep like that my Siri is
Speaker 2: a man's voice.
Speaker 1: You can change it. Yeah, that's the thing. Yeah.
Speaker 2: But when I'm in the car and I'm like, hey,
Speaker 2: sirih cool mom and I will be boy.
Speaker 1: Call mom all right.
Speaker 2: You can call me daddy though, and Marley's like, who's that.
Speaker 2: I'm like, it's just Daddy's friend. She loves it. She
Speaker 2: loves it. When I talked to Siri, but they also
Speaker 2: like on the on the iPad, dude, they are when
Speaker 2: it when it does work out and Siri responds in
Speaker 2: the right way, the joy on their face. Yeah, it's
Speaker 2: like they, you know, crack the code. What are you
Speaker 2: going to say when when Oscar starts requesting, like can
Speaker 2: I meet Siri there?
Speaker 1: That'll be fun because what we'll do is we'll find
Speaker 1: someone and we'll just say this is Siri. I think
Speaker 1: we should do that, introduce him to a fake Siri. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think we should definitely give that a go. Love
Speaker 1: that at some point, but also just on phones and
Speaker 1: like kids being like, who's that? I did send you
Speaker 1: something yesterday last night that was quite rude. It started
Speaker 1: off as a news bulletin, do you recall?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Anyway, so someone got me with that.
Speaker 2: But because we're not going to put this on socials
Speaker 2: because it'll get us banned, it's one of those things
Speaker 2: which men send each other where it's like I'll open
Speaker 2: this up and it's just someone going.
Speaker 1: Ahh like making that noise and I got done with
Speaker 1: it yesterday.
Speaker 2: Was the smile on your face as you're telling this story.
Speaker 1: But trying to explain it to the kids because they
Speaker 1: heard it from upstairs. They're like, what's that? And I
Speaker 1: was just like, oh, it was just someone sent Daddy something.
Speaker 1: I accidentally had it on too. It hurt my ears too,
Speaker 1: because I was so lady.
Speaker 2: It was just for people who want to get an
Speaker 2: insight into the type of content that Ash sends me.
Speaker 2: It was a fake news bulletin, which then midway through
Speaker 2: it transitioned to a big penis. I'd like, enormous penis
Speaker 2: taken from porno. And luckily I was in a place
Speaker 2: where it was only me. I wasn't at the cafe
Speaker 2: in front of other people. And your reaction right now
Speaker 2: is exactly how I thought. You react, just so proud
Speaker 2: of yourself.
Speaker 1: People got it. I hadn't made It was like I
Speaker 1: was literally laying your bed next to next to my wife,
Speaker 1: and I was like, because because it starts off so
Speaker 1: low in volume, He's like, I had to turn it
Speaker 1: right out.
Speaker 2: Very clever, very very Hey. Before we get into petty couples,
Speaker 2: I just want to get a quick update on Macy,
Speaker 2: how she's going health wise. I know you've been dealing
Speaker 2: with a sick.
Speaker 1: But yeah, she's chesty.
Speaker 2: I feel like everyone's chesty. Right now.
Speaker 1: She's like really bad, like when I got home yesterday, like.
Speaker 2: Love, and I was like, brothers, has she been snotty
Speaker 2: as well?
Speaker 1: Or just coffee? And that's the thing too. She came
Speaker 1: she gave me a kiss last night before she went
Speaker 1: to bed.
Speaker 2: And You're like, oh salty and.
Speaker 1: No, no no, and she must have have had snort
Speaker 1: and gone like that.
Speaker 2: She wiped it over her cheek and she's like.
Speaker 1: Going half kissed me with the cheek and going like that,
Speaker 1: and I was like, why the fuck is my face
Speaker 1: so wet?
Speaker 3: Not?
Speaker 2: What do your kids do?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: Can your kids do they know how to blow their
Speaker 2: nose yet?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Because mine don't. They like, what do you mean they
Speaker 2: like the concept of blowing the nose?
Speaker 1: Do?
Speaker 2: They go? So both Marley and Lola, in addition to
Speaker 2: the nets, which fine they are, they're both really snotty,
Speaker 2: like chesty as well. And I can hear I can
Speaker 2: hear the like this because there's got so much stock
Speaker 2: build up, and I'm like, you got to blow your nose,
Speaker 2: so put the tissue of the nose and they just
Speaker 2: go no, no, no, no, no, no no no, do that,
Speaker 2: but three nose And then they're like I'm they can't
Speaker 2: work it out, dude. I'm like trying to.
Speaker 1: Their ears pop. I think that is what that makes
Speaker 1: them feel like they're blowing out there is.
Speaker 2: It's like poor Marley, dude, she's so snotty and what
Speaker 2: she does right now is oh, man, do that and
Speaker 2: then swallows it and she does it all day dude.
Speaker 2: Last night when she went to bed, as she lay
Speaker 2: down and went to sleep, it was horizontal. All that
Speaker 2: phleme was built up. There was so much of it.
Speaker 2: She vomited just this like insane like mukissy patch was unbelievable,
Speaker 2: and then she was like, oh that's better, no.
Speaker 1: Shit, and all of a sudden, I'm hungry.
Speaker 2: I'm like, just learn how to blow your nose or
Speaker 2: I'm like, when you like, do you do the like?
Speaker 1: Do you do the snot ccer? You've used the snot socer?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've seen it. I've seen it, but it's never.
Speaker 1: We've used it. Pretty It's actually it's pretty good. I
Speaker 1: used it.
Speaker 2: Do you have how does it work again?
Speaker 1: Like that? But sorry, how does it work again?
Speaker 2: Because you don't want to you have to put one
Speaker 2: thing up one of the nostrils of the kid and
Speaker 2: then do you say it's an electric one? You when
Speaker 2: you're electric? Fucking nick hone, you're electric. You're welcome to
Speaker 2: the future.
Speaker 1: You are welcome. Yeah, and start trek, welcome to the future.
Speaker 2: What kind of do you have?
Speaker 1: It's a nuclear do you think it is? It's made
Speaker 1: from nuclear energy? Emily Cross out there, you kill it?
Speaker 1: It's electric? No one, it's a pull start, but the
Speaker 1: electric one go. It's it's just pressed about like electric toothbrush.
Speaker 1: But it sucks into like a I'll get it, I'll
Speaker 1: bring it in. I'll show you.
Speaker 2: Poor kids. Kids are worried that's going to suck out
Speaker 2: their brains.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's probably it's actually manufactured by Dyson. Uh No,
Speaker 1: it's not. That's about Jake. Anyway. It says sucker and
Speaker 1: it's got all these different attachments.
Speaker 2: Thank you for clarifying.
Speaker 1: And it goes to that people know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: But good. Also, another thing you can do is you
Speaker 1: can turn like get them in the steam. Do you
Speaker 1: have a like a uky Bear steamer?
Speaker 2: We had one, we had electric.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if you know what electricity is.
Speaker 2: We don't have a uky Bear steamer, but.
Speaker 1: They're good that'll really loosen up the flame. Jesus, I'm
Speaker 1: an expert.
Speaker 2: You are an expert on the flame.
Speaker 1: I've got signal problems a lot. I have done my
Speaker 1: whole life. Same with my sister. She's really bad. My
Speaker 1: sisters are the sort of person who is alerted to everything.
Speaker 1: Dust might that's about it anyway. Anyway, let's love about me.
Speaker 2: Let's get into petty Okay, petty couple.
Speaker 1: Welcome down the street, petty couple.
Speaker 2: They can I like me couple. I love you, but
Speaker 2: in the.
Speaker 1: Tune, no one can push me quite like you. All Right,
Speaker 1: I'll go first because I demand stage.
Speaker 2: Can I just say people have requested that we do
Speaker 2: a song, like a fully fledged song.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know that. Sorry pal, Sorry, I've been suggesting
Speaker 1: it for ages.
Speaker 2: Come in with a good news would be coming in.
Speaker 1: Let's do it. Let's riff, give me give me a
Speaker 1: beat anyway? Sorry, so fucking around, I'm tiny, run out.
Speaker 2: Of time, Stop having fun?
Speaker 1: I stop it, I refuse.
Speaker 2: This is this is something's happened. Did you have sex
Speaker 2: last night?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: No, I got a shot yesterday. Oh yeah, fucking flatter
Speaker 1: you are off your face. I'm going to get one.
Speaker 1: Everything we should invest in it that I get one
Speaker 1: every week for the good of the podcast. For people
Speaker 1: who don't know, Ash had had an immunity boost yesterday
Speaker 1: IV infusion.
Speaker 2: With mercury magnesium. You know what mercury? Definitely don't you
Speaker 2: a deep sea fish that we know of.
Speaker 1: Let me know. My brain is working overtime today.
Speaker 2: Petty couples ship, Will we ever get there? Probably not?
Speaker 1: No, Crystal, we don't give a fuck based story. Sorry, sorry,
Speaker 1: this is from Crystal. Crystal. Crystal Ball is her Crystal Ball? Okay, sorry, Garry,
Speaker 1: that's not her real name. Everyone settled down?
Speaker 2: Did everyone just relax?
Speaker 1: Feeling a lot of pressure? All right, calm down? Would you? Okay,
Speaker 1: you go first? Now I get through it. Okay, this
Speaker 1: is from Crystal. Mm hmmm. Partner and I were at
Speaker 1: a barbecue. My husband clocked off from dad duties as always. Later,
Speaker 1: when our toddler poop, I asked him to get nappy
Speaker 1: and wipes from the car. Then I hid in the
Speaker 1: toilet so when he got back he had no choice
Speaker 1: but to do it. Very good, that's brilliant. I could
Speaker 1: hear him changing bubbs in the laundry right near me,
Speaker 1: and I refuse to make a sound or come out
Speaker 1: until the nappy was disposed of by him and him alone.
Speaker 2: Good, good, good, very good. Also, that guy needs to
Speaker 2: fucking step up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right, you don't clock off from dad duties.
Speaker 2: Of all the tasks of toddlers changing the nappy, I
Speaker 2: think it's the easiest.
Speaker 1: It's the stinkiest.
Speaker 2: I don't mind that. Before I get into this one,
Speaker 2: I have done something. It's very it's very low on
Speaker 2: the petty scale, like it's barely enough to make a mention.
Speaker 2: But I mentioned it anyway. Laura wants cups of tea
Speaker 2: at nighttime. I make a cup of tea. Laura goes,
Speaker 2: are you making a cup of tea? I'll love a
Speaker 2: cup of tea, and it'd be fine, But Laura fucking
Speaker 2: wants honey in it. And it's just, you know, you
Speaker 2: know what honey's like, dude. You know, I give like
Speaker 2: one little squirt and then all of a sudden, it's
Speaker 2: fucking everywhere I gets all over there.
Speaker 1: That's what she.
Speaker 2: And so now I fucking don't make.
Speaker 1: It with honey, and she doesn't know.
Speaker 2: She never and also she never fucking drinks it because
Speaker 2: she's always like, oh, that's a bit hot. I'll let
Speaker 2: it call down for a second and then never goes
Speaker 2: back to it. And then when as I go to
Speaker 2: bed and I'm cleaning up the fucking kitchen bench, I
Speaker 2: find a cup cup of tea, So now I don't
Speaker 2: put the honey in it. God, I'm a badass.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad I got that anyway. But here we
Speaker 1: got next.
Speaker 2: That's petty.
Speaker 1: That's that's pretty petty. That's pretty just ga vid memories shaking.
Speaker 2: As I give her a tea, I'm like, here you go.
Speaker 2: This one is from Anonymous, must be juice Anonymous Anonymous.
Speaker 2: When my partner showers, he likes to clear out his
Speaker 2: nose and we end up with not on the walls
Speaker 2: and showers screen that he doesn't even bother to wash
Speaker 2: off Afterwards's he doing it? Teach Morley how to do that?
Speaker 1: Get him over.
Speaker 2: Once? Oh?
Speaker 1: I can't say, though, clearing those out in the shower a.
Speaker 2: Magic.
Speaker 1: That one that one minute where you've got an empty
Speaker 1: nose in your laugh it's this air feels like it
Speaker 1: goes through steam. I love that steam steam machine.
Speaker 2: Once dried, it's not easy to remove. And I've asked
Speaker 2: him to be mindful of this, but he doesn't listen. Fuck,
Speaker 2: that's annoying. I am the one who has to deal
Speaker 2: with it. She does all the household cleaning.
Speaker 1: I don't want to know what she's done. I really do.
Speaker 1: I really want to know what she's done to get
Speaker 1: back at him for this.
Speaker 2: We'll keep going. So when she does a shower and
Speaker 2: she sees the snot on the walls or shower screen, oh,
Speaker 2: I clean it off with his toothbrush.
Speaker 1: Oo, oh my god.
Speaker 2: His toothbrush is not there. I use his body scrubber.
Speaker 1: Oh oh man, oh my god.
Speaker 2: If I was here, I just take a ship in
Speaker 2: the shower.
Speaker 1: Just try and stamp on the drain.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just leave it there and be liked, dude, I'll
Speaker 2: get rid of the ship once he stopped putting his
Speaker 2: snot everywhere.
Speaker 1: No, because that could really backfive with her, because he
Speaker 1: could just be like, well, I'm gonna start shopping there too,
Speaker 1: and then I don't really mind.
Speaker 2: But also like, how hard is it to do your
Speaker 2: bushman's blow in the shower and then like wash it down?
Speaker 2: They're like, what the what's he doing?
Speaker 1: How wide are his nostrils that they're splattering on the walls.
Speaker 1: That's usually it's like a straight down what's what is?
Speaker 1: I don't know how he's doing it.
Speaker 2: That's yeah, i'd get that checked out.
Speaker 1: I would definitely what Once again, we are not medical physicians,
Speaker 1: but you should get that checked out.
Speaker 2: Definitely have that look that's.
Speaker 1: Disgusting and look honestly, he probably doesn't even know that it.
Speaker 2: Don't try. Yeah, I was going to say that.
Speaker 1: I was like that, does I have? I have tried
Speaker 1: to clean a dried up booger on a wall in
Speaker 1: a shower, very hard. It gets like concrete. Maybe they
Speaker 1: should start making the roads out of it. There is potholes.
Speaker 1: There's an idea. This guy I want to think. Now
Speaker 1: get him into.
Speaker 2: Let's drag out Ellie. Oh wait before we do that.
Speaker 2: Before we do that, have you.
Speaker 1: Got the key?
Speaker 2: You know? I didn't lock it unfortunately, should get one
Speaker 2: of those with the code, Elle Darling, Ellie, thank you
Speaker 2: for jumping on the podcast. Before we start, as I
Speaker 2: want to let you know that Mum is currently dealing
Speaker 2: with issues with the cat.
Speaker 1: Cat the bathroom to do a WII and the cat.
Speaker 1: Right there, I did accidentally on the cat. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: That's so fine. It's nice to what Ellie's doing in
Speaker 2: the cat at the moment, because the cat did to
Speaker 2: be gold ship in mum's bedroom.
Speaker 1: In the bedroom cats ship stink.
Speaker 3: Oh it really.
Speaker 1: Did thought that stinky cat food would come out smelling worse.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, by thank you for jumping on the podcast,
Speaker 2: and thank you for doing the story the other day.
Speaker 2: Took us about an hour to do the Ask Ellie questions.
Speaker 1: You're professional.
Speaker 2: It's a good thing. You're better at podcasting than you
Speaker 2: are doing Instagram stories. Lots of questions, lots of not
Speaker 2: deer in headlights. Everyone wants to hear from Ellie. For
Speaker 2: our new little segment calling it Ask Kelly.
Speaker 1: We need a theme song for us.
Speaker 2: We did have a question that ash. I'll put this
Speaker 2: one on you. I prefer to ask Kelly Ellie like
Speaker 2: ask Nana.
Speaker 3: I just thought it gave it some authority as.
Speaker 2: We'll let it marinate. We may change it for next week,
Speaker 2: but for now it's called Ask Kelly. And the very
Speaker 2: first question is.
Speaker 1: This is from Lucy. Okay, we should get some of
Speaker 1: the who wants tense?
Speaker 3: Hi Lucy, Yes.
Speaker 1: She wants to know do you raise boys and girls differently?
Speaker 1: Would you have you wow?
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, I think we all know, whether you want
Speaker 3: to acknowledge it or not, but boys and girls are different?
Speaker 1: Are you serious? Yeah?
Speaker 3: They have different body pards. Do you not know.
Speaker 2: That boys are a nightmare as kids? Awful?
Speaker 1: Awful?
Speaker 2: I've seen your kid like he's trying.
Speaker 1: To dress him.
Speaker 3: It is a generalization, yes, but okay, looking at our family.
Speaker 2: We're a family of four boys and one girl.
Speaker 3: Ye, so all Kate ever wanted was a Barbie doll
Speaker 3: and all you boys ever wanted was a gun, and
Speaker 3: none of you got.
Speaker 1: Of, say, a toy gun. Elie.
Speaker 3: But no, the first time, the first time the boys,
Speaker 3: the boys had lamb chops. They ate the meat. And
Speaker 3: then the next thing was they were using the chop
Speaker 3: the bone as a gun.
Speaker 2: To shake each other.
Speaker 3: And I thought was in prison.
Speaker 2: I was obsessed with Rambo.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, no, I think, I think. I think the
Speaker 3: main thing to remember is, yes, they are all different.
Speaker 3: I tried to bring you guys up all the same.
Speaker 3: I think the thing to remember is just to embrace
Speaker 3: the differences. Don't be afraid that they are different. Just
Speaker 3: go along with whatever they're comfortable in doing. I mean,
Speaker 3: I tried to introduce the same things. You even did ballet.
Speaker 3: Remember doing ballet with Cakes?
Speaker 1: I thought I would be ars.
Speaker 3: No, you didn't like it. Kate wanted to do ballet,
Speaker 3: and I thought, well, the boys.
Speaker 1: Can do it, so yeah, well I have a boy
Speaker 1: and a girl, so they definitely You must see difference.
Speaker 1: I do now.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Starting off, I kind of thought what worked for Oscar
Speaker 1: is going to work for Macy. But that's not true.
Speaker 3: I think people who say you can treat them all
Speaker 3: exactly the same have not had children and have not
Speaker 3: had mixed sex families. Because they are different doesn't mean
Speaker 3: that anybody's better or worse. Kate was very much the
Speaker 3: organizer a very early age, and that's typical of girls.
Speaker 3: They do develop earlier than boys.
Speaker 1: Is much more organized.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what about when it comes to discipline, exactly the same.
Speaker 1: One of them harder than the boys.
Speaker 3: Were very compliant when they were younger, Going clean your room,
Speaker 3: They would go and clean the room. Kate, go clean
Speaker 3: your room?
Speaker 1: Neck you yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, it's definitely different. I
Speaker 1: mean with Oscar it was kind of like, it's weird
Speaker 1: because I sort of see Macy as like she's too
Speaker 1: sweet to get angry.
Speaker 3: With o that's very dangerous girl.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the same. Also, lately she's just getting cheek here
Speaker 1: and cheek here, and I've found myself getting frustrated. But
Speaker 1: it takes much more for me to get frustrated with
Speaker 1: her than it does with him.
Speaker 3: I tend to think boys generally respond to do it,
Speaker 3: do it now? Please?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: With girls, you say, would you rather clean your room now?
Speaker 3: Or would you rather do be and then clean your room?
Speaker 3: If you give them the choice?
Speaker 1: Very true. I find myself giving Macy choices and Oscar demands.
Speaker 1: Yea interesting difference. Yeah, But I subconsciously do that, like
Speaker 1: it's just a action because I know if I say
Speaker 1: to Macey, do this, she's like no.
Speaker 2: But do you think your expectations are high? With Oscar
Speaker 2: because he's older, there's probably.
Speaker 1: A little bit of that too.
Speaker 3: But they also say that we give information to girls.
Speaker 3: We give a lot more verbal instruction with always it stop,
Speaker 3: don't do that, go over there, whereas girls we explain
Speaker 3: things more.
Speaker 1: If I say to either you eat this sandwich or
Speaker 1: eat this, She'll be like, she'll make a decision.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: With Oscar, if I'm like eat it okay.
Speaker 2: Question number two okay is early question number two comes
Speaker 2: in Lola, Lola, only assume it's not my log. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it could be actually got my funds. My password could
Speaker 2: be her, but she wants to know. Do you have
Speaker 2: any tips for diffusing toddler tantrums?
Speaker 3: Hmmm, well, child psychologists will tell you that you can
Speaker 3: break tantrums down into three three categories. You've got emotional tantrums,
Speaker 3: so that separation, anxiety, and you've got situational tantrums where
Speaker 3: they don't want to get in the car to go
Speaker 3: and see Nana. And then they've got what they call
Speaker 3: mock tantrums. Some people might say they're all mock.
Speaker 1: Does that mean all right?
Speaker 3: It just means that they are putting. I mean, I'm
Speaker 3: not trivializing how the kid is feeling. But a mock
Speaker 3: tantrum is something they do to manipulate the situation.
Speaker 2: You know, So as when you see, like it's a
Speaker 2: video of a child having a massive meltdown, child is
Speaker 2: losing it. They want something and in the second they
Speaker 2: get the toy, the tantrum.
Speaker 1: PSTO a really good video of Macey having an absolute meltdown,
Speaker 1: and I was like, do you want an ice bocke?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Do you know what. That is a distraction, And
Speaker 3: I actually and a distract. We all know about distracting kids,
Speaker 3: but I actually tried this with one of my grandchildren
Speaker 3: just the other day.
Speaker 2: Name and shame. Who was it?
Speaker 1: No, Lola?
Speaker 3: You know. Anyway, she was in the throes of this tantrum.
Speaker 3: I think she'd even forgotten what she wanted. And I
Speaker 3: don't know whether you remember you were there, and I
Speaker 3: just said to Lola, I picked up this orange cushion
Speaker 3: and I said, you know what, I just love this
Speaker 3: blue cushion. It's the most beautiful blue. You remember.
Speaker 2: She said, no, it's not. It's fucking pink.
Speaker 3: She said, no, Nana, that's orange. I said, is it?
Speaker 3: I thought it was a lovely blue color. Well what
Speaker 3: about this green one? Which was red? And it completely
Speaker 3: distracted her, didn't it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you've confused the child out of it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and she probably thinks she's a daycon.
Speaker 2: And now I've been like, I just thought I had
Speaker 2: the colors figured out.
Speaker 3: To me.
Speaker 2: Sometimes it works. That time it worked well. I was
Speaker 2: trying to brush her teeth and she was having meltdown
Speaker 2: and Nana came in and said, and Laura's losing it
Speaker 2: in the bath and then Nana came in and said,
Speaker 2: is that a bird outside I can see? And Lola
Speaker 2: was like, shut up, now, I think I can see
Speaker 2: a parrot outside.
Speaker 3: Work, but distraction, distraction, and I think if you give
Speaker 3: them a question, yeah, she probably she probably is thinking
Speaker 3: that or doesn't know her colors yet. Yeah. But look,
Speaker 3: it's hard because quite often kids are just tired. It's
Speaker 3: the wrong time, big day, they don't want a bathroom.
Speaker 1: I'm tired.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're tired. Yeah, yeah, you're you're right at the
Speaker 3: end of your patients. Yeah. And they often happen around
Speaker 3: about you know, rush hour, distraction, confusion. Oh, you know what, honestly, honestly,
Speaker 3: just ignore. I know that's hard. I know I know that.
Speaker 3: I know that's that is. But you can just talk
Speaker 3: to them normally because they are if it's a mock tantrum,
Speaker 3: they are expecting a response, and if they're not getting
Speaker 3: the response they want, then it doesn't work. I mean,
Speaker 3: it sounds all very simplistic and it's not.
Speaker 1: It's pretty complex.
Speaker 3: It is, it is, and it is hard.
Speaker 2: It's hard. It's easy now in this situation where there's
Speaker 2: not a child in sight to say what to do,
Speaker 2: but when you think of it and you do screaming child, Yeah,
Speaker 2: three four children are screaming.
Speaker 3: But it worked pretty well. When you were in the
Speaker 3: shopping island, you were screaming because you wanted a crunchy
Speaker 3: bar and I said.
Speaker 2: No and Mum would just go. I'm leaving him there.
Speaker 1: He was left him just the other day.
Speaker 2: That's what we have time for. If you would like
Speaker 2: any questions for ask Ellie or ask Nana, let us
Speaker 2: know what you think. Send it through either dm us
Speaker 2: at two Doting Dads on Instagram, or you can email
Speaker 2: us at Hello at two Doting Dads dot com or ash.
Speaker 2: There's one more place you can go and throw questions
Speaker 2: at us.
Speaker 3: You don't want me to give your address, and I
Speaker 3: would love to hear back from Lola or Lucy.
Speaker 1: You can go to Facebook and type in two Doting
Speaker 1: day has joined the conversation there. We have banned Ellie
Speaker 1: from that page and I.
Speaker 2: Think she knows how to works. And if you would
Speaker 2: like to win yourself a free case of stone wood
Speaker 2: sent directly to your door, all you have to do
Speaker 2: is share a story on Instagram of you listening to
Speaker 2: two Doting Dads tag us take stone Wood follow both accounts.
Speaker 2: We will pick someone at the end of each week
Speaker 2: to win that case of beer and Ellie. Before we go,
Speaker 2: I have to say, if you'd enjoyed this episode, please
Speaker 2: give us a review, a few starts, a couple of comments,
Speaker 2: and send it to anyone who you think will benefit
Speaker 2: from listening to Two Dads and one Nana.
Speaker 3: And can I just say I tried that Stonewood beer.
Speaker 3: It is a beautiful beer.
Speaker 2: Very good, very good.
Speaker 3: No, no, it really is a nice beer or.
Speaker 1: Something we haven't spoken about you.
Speaker 2: It's a lovely drop and there's a lovely drop. Wrong.
Speaker 2: We have to get out of here. You have to
Speaker 2: do some washing for us.
Speaker 1: Actually I bring my washing as well. It's okay.
Speaker 2: We'll see you guys next week. Bye bye. Two Doting
Speaker 2: Dance Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia
Speaker 2: and the connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander
Speaker 1: peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land