WEBVTT - MOTIVATIONAL MOMENT: Becoming comfortable with change 🍃

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<v Speaker 1>I'm saying, and this is your motivational moment for this week,

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<v Speaker 1>and we're going to talk about how to get comfortable

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<v Speaker 1>with change. So much of what I do as a

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<v Speaker 1>job is helping people to get comfortable with change, get

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<v Speaker 1>out of their comfort zone, make that transition that perhaps

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<v Speaker 1>they've been scared of or resistant to for years, if

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<v Speaker 1>not decades. Effectively, that's the most important part of my job.

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<v Speaker 1>Helping people put the practices in place, gain the confidence,

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<v Speaker 1>have the skills, reinforce the habits, whatever it might be

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<v Speaker 1>to make lifelong change. So I thought I'd do a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit of research to why change is so difficult

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<v Speaker 1>and why we avoid it so much, and it actually

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<v Speaker 1>gets worse as we get older. And that's something that

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<v Speaker 1>I noticed as a father. You know, my kids just

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<v Speaker 1>changing a dime, I could pull them out of one

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<v Speaker 1>school put them in another. They wouldn't even care. Know

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<v Speaker 1>the reaction to them changing schools from a Friday to

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<v Speaker 1>a Monday. To me changing jobs or offices or suburbs

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<v Speaker 1>that I live in would be completely different. I'd have

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<v Speaker 1>a bit of a meltdown. I overthink everything. Oh my god,

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<v Speaker 1>how did we survive? How do we do this? They'd

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<v Speaker 1>make friends by recess, and you wouldn't wouldn't even better

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<v Speaker 1>an eyelid. But the reality is change brings uncertainty, and

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<v Speaker 1>the studies show that this uncertainty has a very similar

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<v Speaker 1>feeling to us from a psychological perspective as failure. And

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<v Speaker 1>that's why we tend to stay away from it, because

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of us would rather stay unhappy than make

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<v Speaker 1>the change, or we tell ourselves a lie, or we

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<v Speaker 1>make things up to avoid getting out of our comfort

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<v Speaker 1>zone or avoid the hard decision, you know, whether it's

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<v Speaker 1>trying to lose weight, or whether it's getting out of

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<v Speaker 1>a relationship that you know hasn't been right or isn't

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<v Speaker 1>working at all for sometimes years, if not decades. It's

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<v Speaker 1>crazy to think that it's easier in our minds to

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<v Speaker 1>stay in a terrible relationship than it is to do

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<v Speaker 1>the hard work or have the discomfort or have that

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<v Speaker 1>moment of confrontation or heartache or whatever it might be,

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<v Speaker 1>to get out of a relationship. And change is important

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<v Speaker 1>when you do the hard stuff and you get the

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<v Speaker 1>reward from it, there's a real magic to that. So

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<v Speaker 1>what do we do to help us get more comfortable change?

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<v Speaker 1>We have to remind ourselves that we are not failing.

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<v Speaker 1>That what we are feeling is uncertainty. But guess what

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<v Speaker 1>on the other side of uncertainty is growth. Don't confuse

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<v Speaker 1>uncertainty with failure. You are not failing. Number two. Break

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<v Speaker 1>it down and this is what I'm massive on because

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<v Speaker 1>I do this from a weight loss perspective. To lose

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<v Speaker 1>fifty kilos is very overwhelming, very daunting. But you break

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<v Speaker 1>it down. I don't have to lose fifty kilos. I

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<v Speaker 1>have to lose two kilos in the next twenty eight days,

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<v Speaker 1>so much more achievable. If all I do is get

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<v Speaker 1>paralyzed by the thought of losing fifty kilos to the

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<v Speaker 1>point that I never do anything to even lose half

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<v Speaker 1>a kilo, then it's not doing many good. You've got

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<v Speaker 1>to get the wheels turning, and to get the wheels turning,

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<v Speaker 1>break it down into a more achievable small change so

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<v Speaker 1>that you don't have that feeling of overwhelm. Number three.

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<v Speaker 1>Celebrate it along the way. Celebrate. I think sometimes we're

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<v Speaker 1>so fixated on the end of the journey that we

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<v Speaker 1>miss the magic. And let's use the example of changing jobs.

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<v Speaker 1>Celebrate the fact that you're jumping on seek or linked in,

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<v Speaker 1>or even happy to admit to a friend out loud.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not just the little voice inside your head saying

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to quit my job and I'm going to

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<v Speaker 1>look for something else. These baby steps along the way

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<v Speaker 1>need to be rewarded. If you're only having huge goals

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<v Speaker 1>that are just too overwhelming to even get started, or

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<v Speaker 1>you're never patting yourself on the back until you've reached

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<v Speaker 1>the pinnacle of man everest, it's not going to be

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<v Speaker 1>terribly successful and it's definitely not going to be enjoyable.

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<v Speaker 1>So I want you to analyze your life every facet health, wealth, work, relationships,

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<v Speaker 1>whether it be with your partner or friendships, it doesn't matter,

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<v Speaker 1>and be really honest with yourself. Where in one of

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<v Speaker 1>those categories have you been thinking or saying for a

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<v Speaker 1>while now there needs to be a change, but you've

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<v Speaker 1>never done anything about it. In the next seven days,

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<v Speaker 1>you need to have identified it, and you need to

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<v Speaker 1>have taken that first step, that first baby step, and

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<v Speaker 1>you need to have given yourself a good hard pad

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<v Speaker 1>on the back for taking that first step. And that's

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<v Speaker 1>this week's Listeners task.