Speaker 1: I'm saying, and this is your motivational moment for this week,
Speaker 1: and we're going to talk about how to get comfortable
Speaker 1: with change. So much of what I do as a
Speaker 1: job is helping people to get comfortable with change, get
Speaker 1: out of their comfort zone, make that transition that perhaps
Speaker 1: they've been scared of or resistant to for years, if
Speaker 1: not decades. Effectively, that's the most important part of my job.
Speaker 1: Helping people put the practices in place, gain the confidence,
Speaker 1: have the skills, reinforce the habits, whatever it might be
Speaker 1: to make lifelong change. So I thought I'd do a
Speaker 1: little bit of research to why change is so difficult
Speaker 1: and why we avoid it so much, and it actually
Speaker 1: gets worse as we get older. And that's something that
Speaker 1: I noticed as a father. You know, my kids just
Speaker 1: changing a dime, I could pull them out of one
Speaker 1: school put them in another. They wouldn't even care. Know
Speaker 1: the reaction to them changing schools from a Friday to
Speaker 1: a Monday. To me changing jobs or offices or suburbs
Speaker 1: that I live in would be completely different. I'd have
Speaker 1: a bit of a meltdown. I overthink everything. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: how did we survive? How do we do this? They'd
Speaker 1: make friends by recess, and you wouldn't wouldn't even better
Speaker 1: an eyelid. But the reality is change brings uncertainty, and
Speaker 1: the studies show that this uncertainty has a very similar
Speaker 1: feeling to us from a psychological perspective as failure. And
Speaker 1: that's why we tend to stay away from it, because
Speaker 1: a lot of us would rather stay unhappy than make
Speaker 1: the change, or we tell ourselves a lie, or we
Speaker 1: make things up to avoid getting out of our comfort
Speaker 1: zone or avoid the hard decision, you know, whether it's
Speaker 1: trying to lose weight, or whether it's getting out of
Speaker 1: a relationship that you know hasn't been right or isn't
Speaker 1: working at all for sometimes years, if not decades. It's
Speaker 1: crazy to think that it's easier in our minds to
Speaker 1: stay in a terrible relationship than it is to do
Speaker 1: the hard work or have the discomfort or have that
Speaker 1: moment of confrontation or heartache or whatever it might be,
Speaker 1: to get out of a relationship. And change is important
Speaker 1: when you do the hard stuff and you get the
Speaker 1: reward from it, there's a real magic to that. So
Speaker 1: what do we do to help us get more comfortable change?
Speaker 1: We have to remind ourselves that we are not failing.
Speaker 1: That what we are feeling is uncertainty. But guess what
Speaker 1: on the other side of uncertainty is growth. Don't confuse
Speaker 1: uncertainty with failure. You are not failing. Number two. Break
Speaker 1: it down and this is what I'm massive on because
Speaker 1: I do this from a weight loss perspective. To lose
Speaker 1: fifty kilos is very overwhelming, very daunting. But you break
Speaker 1: it down. I don't have to lose fifty kilos. I
Speaker 1: have to lose two kilos in the next twenty eight days,
Speaker 1: so much more achievable. If all I do is get
Speaker 1: paralyzed by the thought of losing fifty kilos to the
Speaker 1: point that I never do anything to even lose half
Speaker 1: a kilo, then it's not doing many good. You've got
Speaker 1: to get the wheels turning, and to get the wheels turning,
Speaker 1: break it down into a more achievable small change so
Speaker 1: that you don't have that feeling of overwhelm. Number three.
Speaker 1: Celebrate it along the way. Celebrate. I think sometimes we're
Speaker 1: so fixated on the end of the journey that we
Speaker 1: miss the magic. And let's use the example of changing jobs.
Speaker 1: Celebrate the fact that you're jumping on seek or linked in,
Speaker 1: or even happy to admit to a friend out loud.
Speaker 1: It's not just the little voice inside your head saying
Speaker 1: I'm going to quit my job and I'm going to
Speaker 1: look for something else. These baby steps along the way
Speaker 1: need to be rewarded. If you're only having huge goals
Speaker 1: that are just too overwhelming to even get started, or
Speaker 1: you're never patting yourself on the back until you've reached
Speaker 1: the pinnacle of man everest, it's not going to be
Speaker 1: terribly successful and it's definitely not going to be enjoyable.
Speaker 1: So I want you to analyze your life every facet health, wealth, work, relationships,
Speaker 1: whether it be with your partner or friendships, it doesn't matter,
Speaker 1: and be really honest with yourself. Where in one of
Speaker 1: those categories have you been thinking or saying for a
Speaker 1: while now there needs to be a change, but you've
Speaker 1: never done anything about it. In the next seven days,
Speaker 1: you need to have identified it, and you need to
Speaker 1: have taken that first step, that first baby step, and
Speaker 1: you need to have given yourself a good hard pad
Speaker 1: on the back for taking that first step. And that's
Speaker 1: this week's Listeners task.