WEBVTT - Today Was a Bad Day 0:00:00.560 --> 0:00:03.880 My name's Kate Robinson. I'm a storyteller on Finean Tell. 0:00:04.720 --> 0:00:09.160 I am an Iranian Australian podcaster who currently lives on 0:00:09.440 --> 0:00:13.640 Warundrii Woong and Bunoran country. I'd like to recognize the 0:00:13.680 --> 0:00:17.599 traditional custodians of this continent whose land was stolen nearly 0:00:17.600 --> 0:00:21.400 two hundred and fifty years ago, in particular the Camereaga 0:00:21.640 --> 0:00:25.040 and Warunduri people whose land this podcast was recorded on. 0:00:25.440 --> 0:00:28.520 And we extend our respect to all Aboriginal and Torres 0:00:28.520 --> 0:00:32.960 Strait islander peoples that are listening. The rich storytelling history 0:00:33.080 --> 0:00:36.200 of the world's oldest living culture is what we pay 0:00:36.240 --> 0:00:38.959 homage to when we tell stories on Finan Tell. 0:00:43.400 --> 0:00:46.520 Hello, I'm Jimilla Risby, and this is Fine and Tell 0:00:46.880 --> 0:00:50.559 the search for the next generation of Australian storytellers and 0:00:50.600 --> 0:00:53.280 a chance to honors some stories that we might not 0:00:53.400 --> 0:00:57.720 otherwise have heard. Each episode, our storytellers go head to 0:00:57.800 --> 0:01:01.120 head to tell a story related to the episode's theme. 0:01:01.680 --> 0:01:04.120 Whoever finds and tells the best story will win the 0:01:04.200 --> 0:01:07.480 episode and be one step closer to being crowned the 0:01:07.600 --> 0:01:12.600 Find and Tell Champion and win best in Class podcast. 0:01:12.600 --> 0:01:15.240 In goodies and gear from the amazing team at Road 0:01:15.360 --> 0:01:20.120 Australia and we are excited to welcome the Australian Film, 0:01:20.160 --> 0:01:23.760 Television and Radio School on as a partner. After us, 0:01:23.840 --> 0:01:26.600 we'll provide our winner with a range of short courses 0:01:26.640 --> 0:01:29.760 and mentoring so they can continue to find and tell 0:01:29.800 --> 0:01:34.679 stories into the future. In today's episode, our storytellers are 0:01:34.680 --> 0:01:36.920 tackling the theme today was. 0:01:36.840 --> 0:01:37.559 A bad day. 0:01:38.160 --> 0:01:41.280 First up, it's Ben, who last time took us on 0:01:41.319 --> 0:01:44.120 a Teddy Bear hunt. Let's hear what he's got in 0:01:44.200 --> 0:01:49.240 store for us today. Hey, Ben, welcome back to Find. 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:52.040 And Tell, Happy to be guest. Thank you tell me. 0:01:52.400 --> 0:01:56.200 During the process of making your three podcast episodes, did 0:01:56.240 --> 0:01:58.240 you start to feel more comfortable as you went along 0:01:58.440 --> 0:02:00.880 or with a new challenges at every stage? 0:02:01.240 --> 0:02:03.040 I mean, today was a bad day was a hard 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:05.400 topic for me because no one really wants to talk 0:02:05.400 --> 0:02:08.080 about the bad days most times, you know, the stories 0:02:08.080 --> 0:02:10.720 that we tell are positives, like no one really wants 0:02:10.760 --> 0:02:13.200 to hear about you're feeling down or you're feeling negative. 0:02:13.240 --> 0:02:15.360 And I wanted to kind of take that as an 0:02:15.400 --> 0:02:19.400 opportunity to do, you know, I guess put myself out 0:02:19.400 --> 0:02:23.640 there and feel pretty vulnerable to address address how I 0:02:23.639 --> 0:02:25.040 felt about that day. 0:02:25.280 --> 0:02:27.799 All right, I want to hear this episode. Your theme 0:02:27.880 --> 0:02:31.359 this week was today was a bad day. Let's get 0:02:31.360 --> 0:02:31.680 to it. 0:02:33.320 --> 0:02:35.880 Brenna grew up in the landlocked state of Kansas, USA. 0:02:36.480 --> 0:02:38.760 She would recall the stories from her father about living 0:02:38.760 --> 0:02:40.960 on the coast in Australia and the culture that came 0:02:41.000 --> 0:02:44.000 with it. The moment Brenna turned eighteen do she wanted 0:02:44.000 --> 0:02:46.720 to experience this for herself. So Brenna made the move 0:02:46.760 --> 0:02:49.240 to the Ilahara with her older sister Tanil to live 0:02:49.280 --> 0:02:52.680 with their grandmother, and not too long after that, Brenna 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:58.120 met me. I remember many memories from the tour I 0:02:58.160 --> 0:03:01.239 spent with Brenner, movies, heading the different bars and clubs, 0:03:01.280 --> 0:03:03.760 and just jumping in the car chasing adventures, you know, 0:03:04.280 --> 0:03:07.799 the average eighteen year old life, although one day will 0:03:07.840 --> 0:03:11.000 forever stand out amongst the rest, a day that shadowed 0:03:11.040 --> 0:03:14.320 all the good memories from that year, one bad day 0:03:14.440 --> 0:03:16.520 that I would carry the burden of for the next 0:03:16.520 --> 0:03:20.640 ten years. This is a story I've told friends and 0:03:20.720 --> 0:03:25.440 family before. Usually when conversations turn to past mistakes in life, 0:03:25.480 --> 0:03:28.000 this story is the first one that comes to mind, 0:03:28.680 --> 0:03:31.240 and every time I tell it, I get this overwhelming 0:03:31.240 --> 0:03:32.920 feeling rush over me and sit in the pit of 0:03:32.919 --> 0:03:38.080 my stomach guilt. The times I would tell the story 0:03:38.080 --> 0:03:41.320 to friends, I'd always ask myself, I wonder how Brenner 0:03:41.440 --> 0:03:45.360 is doing. And so, after many years of no contact, 0:03:45.920 --> 0:03:47.600 in the hopes she might be willing to sit down 0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:50.480 and talk about that day, I reached out. 0:03:53.600 --> 0:03:56.680 Even when he sent me that message, I just was like, what, 0:03:56.840 --> 0:04:01.400 it's been one you okay? I messaged to Nil and 0:04:01.440 --> 0:04:04.160 I said, you'll not believe who's messaged me. And she 0:04:04.280 --> 0:04:07.800 said who? And I said Ben Heyward And she's like, 0:04:08.280 --> 0:04:11.080 what does that boy want? And I said, well, I 0:04:11.120 --> 0:04:13.720 don't know, and she's like, we'll better open that message. 0:04:14.320 --> 0:04:17.520 Hi, Brenner, it's been a while. I know this is 0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:20.240 out of the ordinary, but I'm reaching out to ask 0:04:20.320 --> 0:04:22.280 you'd potentially be up to chat with me about the 0:04:22.360 --> 0:04:25.240 day over ten years ago when you were seriously injured. 0:04:25.800 --> 0:04:27.160 I thought of this story because. 0:04:26.920 --> 0:04:28.720 I've carried a lot of guilt for some time now, 0:04:29.640 --> 0:04:33.160 and I feel responsible for what happened to you that day. Obviously, 0:04:33.279 --> 0:04:35.160 it's a lot to take in, and I understand if 0:04:35.200 --> 0:04:39.080 you need more information or time. Once again, thank you 0:04:39.160 --> 0:04:41.320 for considering. I hope your chat soon. 0:04:41.880 --> 0:04:42.200 Ben. 0:04:47.440 --> 0:04:50.560 Hello, how are you good to see you? 0:04:50.720 --> 0:04:50.960 Yeah? 0:04:51.000 --> 0:04:51.719 Really good to see you. 0:04:52.040 --> 0:04:53.000 Yeah. 0:04:53.040 --> 0:04:54.720 This was the first time I've seen Brenner in over 0:04:54.800 --> 0:04:57.160 ten years, and the first time I've ever spoken to 0:04:57.200 --> 0:04:58.640 her about that day when we were kids. 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:03.760 We were eighteen. I was eighteen, new to Australia. I 0:05:03.760 --> 0:05:06.160 think I was just craving like new experiences and then 0:05:06.200 --> 0:05:09.680 meeting you and obviously like we were like good, would 0:05:09.680 --> 0:05:11.760 go on a few dates and things you offered. I 0:05:11.839 --> 0:05:15.760 just remember us having a conversation of things to do around. 0:05:15.360 --> 0:05:16.040 The ill Worra. 0:05:16.600 --> 0:05:18.600 Brenna was keen to learn how to surf, and I 0:05:18.640 --> 0:05:20.000 was excited to be the one to teach her. 0:05:20.200 --> 0:05:22.360 I was like, oh, that's so cool because I haven't served. 0:05:23.000 --> 0:05:25.840 You know, I've never served in a grow up surfing. 0:05:26.400 --> 0:05:28.320 So after a few weeks we planned to finally put 0:05:28.320 --> 0:05:31.520 the wetsuits on and head out. But that day the 0:05:31.560 --> 0:05:34.680 other war was hit with severe storms, pouring rain and 0:05:34.839 --> 0:05:38.679 huge swell. I could see the disappointment in Brenna's face, 0:05:39.440 --> 0:05:41.120 knowing that she was so excited to go out and 0:05:41.120 --> 0:05:43.960 surf for the day, so I decided I could take 0:05:43.960 --> 0:05:45.119 it to a local nine gem. 0:05:45.520 --> 0:05:48.160 What did you call it again, the washing machine? The 0:05:48.320 --> 0:05:50.440 washing machine, Yes, that's what you called it. 0:05:53.400 --> 0:05:53.560 Yeah. 0:05:53.600 --> 0:05:56.120 The washing machine is a large flat slab of natural 0:05:56.200 --> 0:05:59.120 rock at the tip of Barrack Point, a local popular 0:05:59.160 --> 0:06:03.039 surf break. The rock drops down vertically about two feet 0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:06.719 and as kids, we would crouch down, lay hard against 0:06:06.720 --> 0:06:09.920 the rock wall and let the whitewash flow seamlessly over 0:06:09.960 --> 0:06:12.680 the top of us, allowing you to experience what it's 0:06:12.760 --> 0:06:15.080 like in the inside of a barrel of a wave. 0:06:16.279 --> 0:06:18.799 It's perfect for someone to get the experience of surfing 0:06:18.800 --> 0:06:22.520 without actually doing it. I picked Brenner up and just 0:06:22.560 --> 0:06:25.359 before leaving, I remember Brenda's grandmother looking me in the 0:06:25.400 --> 0:06:29.320 eyes and saying, you look after my granddaughter now. I 0:06:29.360 --> 0:06:31.800 gave him my word that I would. 0:06:34.440 --> 0:06:37.480 We walked out to the cliff edge. We looked down 0:06:37.520 --> 0:06:40.120 and there was the expanse of the rock. It just 0:06:40.120 --> 0:06:41.720 looked like a little rectangular slab. 0:06:42.720 --> 0:06:45.040 I think the tide was high. 0:06:45.200 --> 0:06:48.760 It was stormy as well, so it was a bit rough. 0:06:49.720 --> 0:06:50.520 But like at that. 0:06:50.560 --> 0:06:53.159 Point, you know we're going to experience this, you know, 0:06:53.200 --> 0:06:55.200 barrel of a wave. Because you kept talking about how 0:06:55.240 --> 0:06:59.080 beautiful it was. I did have some reservations going all 0:06:59.120 --> 0:07:01.279 the waves are a little bit high, but you were like, no, like, 0:07:01.360 --> 0:07:05.000 this is how it needs to be. Okay, let's do it, 0:07:06.000 --> 0:07:07.520 you know, because I trusted you, and I. 0:07:07.440 --> 0:07:09.560 Was just like if people have done this before. 0:07:09.560 --> 0:07:13.240 Like they didn't really have any kind of initial fears 0:07:13.280 --> 0:07:18.080 for safety when I went there with you, I wasn't 0:07:18.080 --> 0:07:21.320 even thinking about, you know, what would it happen. 0:07:23.440 --> 0:07:26.600 This is exactly how I remember that day. Besides one 0:07:26.720 --> 0:07:30.520 important piece. See, what Brennan didn't know was that I 0:07:30.640 --> 0:07:33.760 knew it was too dangerous to be out there. I 0:07:33.880 --> 0:07:38.160 knew we shouldn't have gone out that day. I've replayed 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:40.800 this scenario so many times in my head trying to 0:07:40.840 --> 0:07:44.240 figure out why I ignored my instincts. The answer that 0:07:44.240 --> 0:07:46.960 I'd given myself was that I was too embarrassed to 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:50.200 admit that I was in over my head. I let 0:07:50.240 --> 0:07:54.080 ego cloud my judgment, and I really just wanted to 0:07:54.120 --> 0:07:54.800 impress Brenner. 0:08:00.120 --> 0:08:02.440 Then you told me, okay, like it's time to go, 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:06.480 time to you know, crouch beneath the washing machine. 0:08:06.560 --> 0:08:09.680 And by this point I'm screaming because the sound of 0:08:09.720 --> 0:08:12.360 the waves are just so loud, crashing against the rocks, 0:08:12.440 --> 0:08:12.760 I was. 0:08:12.920 --> 0:08:15.960 You know, pretty thrilled, like it was exhilarating, you know, 0:08:16.000 --> 0:08:17.360 your your adrenaline's pumping. 0:08:17.600 --> 0:08:21.560 I'm screaming, telling her, when the waves come, you have 0:08:21.600 --> 0:08:24.720 to duck hold on tight, and. 0:08:24.640 --> 0:08:26.320 So we crouch along this rock. 0:08:26.640 --> 0:08:28.400 I think you're holding on to me and I'm holding 0:08:28.440 --> 0:08:30.880 on to you, and you're like, okay, are you ready? 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:34.480 And we ducked down and the first wave crashed over 0:08:34.559 --> 0:08:35.320 the top of us. 0:08:38.640 --> 0:08:40.440 And I think I remember just thinking, oh my god, 0:08:40.480 --> 0:08:42.760 this wave is really powerful. 0:08:42.240 --> 0:08:45.800 Like that was crazy, and the excitement on her face 0:08:46.200 --> 0:08:51.720 was that feeling didn't last too long because after the 0:08:51.760 --> 0:08:55.200 first wave come over, the second wave, the third wave 0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:56.960 came over crashing. 0:09:00.520 --> 0:09:04.320 I just remember going, oh my god, like please, like 0:09:04.440 --> 0:09:05.840 just stop, just stop, just stop. 0:09:08.800 --> 0:09:10.120 It was white wash everywhere. 0:09:10.240 --> 0:09:13.480 I was skidding on my bum had my hands out, 0:09:13.840 --> 0:09:17.160 my feet in front of me, and I was just skidding. 0:09:18.160 --> 0:09:20.240 By the time I had enough kind of stable grip 0:09:20.280 --> 0:09:22.760 to lift my hands off the rock face and white 0:09:22.880 --> 0:09:23.760 wash out of my eyes. 0:09:25.160 --> 0:09:26.520 I looked up and Brenna was gone. 0:09:30.280 --> 0:09:32.200 I jumped up and I turned around and I could 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:37.840 just see Brenna's body just laying hard up against the cliff. Face, 0:09:37.840 --> 0:09:40.800 which is in a pool of her own blood. She said, 0:09:40.840 --> 0:09:44.560 I can't stand my feet. Her feet had been sliced 0:09:44.640 --> 0:09:47.079 by oysters and cut by the sharp rock face, and 0:09:48.000 --> 0:09:51.199 they had cut her to the bone. Brenna was losing 0:09:51.240 --> 0:09:53.120 like a lot of blood, like there was blood everywhere. 0:09:53.160 --> 0:09:56.440 She was soaking wet. I could see muscles and bone 0:09:56.480 --> 0:09:58.160 and flesh. 0:09:58.320 --> 0:10:05.320 We have to go to the hospital. We get to 0:10:05.320 --> 0:10:08.199 the hospital and I say, wait here, I'm going to 0:10:08.240 --> 0:10:10.960 go get your wheelchair and I run in. They were like, oh, 0:10:11.040 --> 0:10:13.000 you're okay, you're bleeding, and I remember saying, it's not 0:10:13.000 --> 0:10:13.400 my blood. 0:10:13.400 --> 0:10:14.679 I need a wheelchair right now. 0:10:15.840 --> 0:10:16.319 They had to. 0:10:16.240 --> 0:10:18.240 Put me in the shower to remove the wet suit, 0:10:18.840 --> 0:10:22.040 and they basically washed all the wounds with me, and 0:10:22.080 --> 0:10:23.480 then they popped me back into the bed. 0:10:24.520 --> 0:10:27.120 I remember standing next to the hospital bed, still dripping 0:10:27.120 --> 0:10:30.840 wet and salt water and blood. Brenna told me to 0:10:30.840 --> 0:10:34.960 call her grandmother. There's a phone, rang I remember thinking, 0:10:35.400 --> 0:10:38.040 the last time I spoke to this woman, I told 0:10:38.040 --> 0:10:39.600 her that her granddaughter would be safe. 0:10:40.679 --> 0:10:40.880 Now. 0:10:40.920 --> 0:10:43.840 Only hours later, I was calling to tell her that 0:10:43.920 --> 0:10:48.960 Brenner was in the emergency department. Making that call and 0:10:49.080 --> 0:10:52.200 happened to hear your grandmother say what's going on and 0:10:52.200 --> 0:10:53.600 I've gone Brenna's in the hospital. 0:10:55.040 --> 0:10:57.000 After she told me you make sure you look after 0:10:57.000 --> 0:10:58.640 my granddaughter, I was like. 0:11:00.200 --> 0:11:00.440 Fuck. 0:11:01.800 --> 0:11:07.680 So that for me was like a pretty heavy moment 0:11:07.880 --> 0:11:11.439 because I was responsible and I knew better, because I 0:11:11.520 --> 0:11:14.559 knew we shouldn't have want to anything that day. I 0:11:14.640 --> 0:11:18.760 knew looking at the size of the swell and the conditions, 0:11:19.320 --> 0:11:22.160 but I was too embarrassed and I let my ego 0:11:22.160 --> 0:11:25.160 get in front of me. I remember you getting swept away, 0:11:26.000 --> 0:11:31.120 and that feeling was just horrific because I didn't address 0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:34.600 the guilt then, I just allowed it to kind of 0:11:34.640 --> 0:11:37.040 make me feel worse. 0:11:40.880 --> 0:11:44.160 I felt bad that you felt so bad about it. 0:11:45.040 --> 0:11:48.240 The experience that we shared together, it was not just 0:11:48.640 --> 0:11:51.680 you choosing to go out there and making me go 0:11:51.800 --> 0:11:54.079 out there. I went out there on my own accord 0:11:54.080 --> 0:11:58.000 as well. I wanted to be cool and I wanted to, 0:11:58.920 --> 0:12:02.640 you know, experience life in Australia, and I thought that 0:12:02.720 --> 0:12:06.679 this was how people did it over here. And I 0:12:06.720 --> 0:12:09.160 felt embarrassed too, because I was like, oh, you know, 0:12:09.240 --> 0:12:12.320 he's probably taken that many people to the washing machine, 0:12:12.720 --> 0:12:17.120 and I'm the first person that's actually you know, didn't 0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:21.280 do it properly, and you'd probably think all some dumb American. 0:12:22.800 --> 0:12:26.319 I never had any sort of like harsh feelings towards you. 0:12:27.040 --> 0:12:30.280 It was more just I think self reflection from my 0:12:30.440 --> 0:12:34.000 own self to go what I did was my decision 0:12:34.040 --> 0:12:37.800 was pretty stupid, but I've learned from it. There's so 0:12:37.920 --> 0:12:42.360 many things that happen in people's lives that have such 0:12:42.400 --> 0:12:45.480 a big effect on maybe someone personally, but another person 0:12:46.080 --> 0:12:50.760 you know, might not think it as much. When you 0:12:50.800 --> 0:12:53.640 were talking about the locals and how it was like 0:12:53.640 --> 0:12:56.240 a local gym, it kind of resonated with me a 0:12:56.280 --> 0:12:59.720 little bit because I wanted to feel like a local 0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:02.080 because I wanted to live here and I wanted to 0:13:02.600 --> 0:13:05.160 be a part of Australia because it is part of 0:13:05.200 --> 0:13:09.960 my heritage. And I think maybe that was that was 0:13:10.040 --> 0:13:11.600 kind of the crux of it, you know, I wanted 0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:16.120 to feel, you know, one with Australia. 0:13:17.960 --> 0:13:19.880 Have you been back there that day? 0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:24.720 So I live I live around that area and I 0:13:24.800 --> 0:13:29.360 go for a lot of runs along Barrick Point where 0:13:29.520 --> 0:13:32.080 it's located out, but I've never actually been back down 0:13:32.160 --> 0:13:39.080 to that rock surface. It definitely doesn't look as menacing, 0:13:41.040 --> 0:13:43.200 I think as as I remember it. So is this 0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:46.040 the kind of weather that you would take people? 0:13:46.280 --> 0:13:46.559 Yeah? 0:13:46.600 --> 0:13:51.160 Wow, see right now, that's perfect that this is the 0:13:51.200 --> 0:13:52.600 type of weather. We should have come. 0:13:52.480 --> 0:14:00.719 Out still potentially get dragged, but definitely not at the 0:14:00.800 --> 0:14:01.679 rate that I did. 0:14:02.120 --> 0:14:04.560 Did you want to go give it a gay? Oh? 0:14:04.720 --> 0:14:06.280 No, definitely not. 0:14:07.840 --> 0:14:09.840 No, I got enough of it. 0:14:10.800 --> 0:14:12.120 But yeah, one and done. 0:14:12.400 --> 0:14:15.760 I don't think I could ever know that moment. 0:14:16.760 --> 0:14:20.720 We got to have a big slap in the face 0:14:20.760 --> 0:14:25.560 with our mortality. We are not immortal, even though we're 0:14:25.600 --> 0:14:28.120 eighteen and feel like we are and feel like we're 0:14:28.160 --> 0:14:31.280 on top of the world and the world is our oyster. No, 0:14:31.720 --> 0:14:35.840 the world has oysters and they cut off your feet. 0:14:41.840 --> 0:14:43.960 Ben, What are you most proud of hearing that? 0:14:44.960 --> 0:14:45.240 Ah? 0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:48.800 One of my most proud of I think I'm proud 0:14:48.840 --> 0:14:51.800 of myself that I took the opportunity and the chance 0:14:51.920 --> 0:14:54.400 to address the guilt that I've carried for such a 0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:58.360 long time. You know, I don't know if I would 0:14:58.360 --> 0:15:01.480 have done it otherwise. Yeah, And given the opportunity to, 0:15:02.160 --> 0:15:04.560 I guess have the courage to, I guess reach out 0:15:04.880 --> 0:15:07.680 to Brennan after so many years I don't know if 0:15:07.720 --> 0:15:10.840 I would have put myself out there if it wasn't 0:15:10.840 --> 0:15:14.320 for this, if it wasn't for you know, find and 0:15:14.360 --> 0:15:16.040 tell and giving me the platform to do it. 0:15:16.440 --> 0:15:21.800 She was incredibly generous with her contribution and forgive me 0:15:21.880 --> 0:15:24.160 for making a story that's close to you a bit 0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:26.320 too in the business. But she was also great talent, 0:15:26.600 --> 0:15:29.600 like she can really tell a story. How did you 0:15:30.520 --> 0:15:33.880 coach or prepare her ahead of the interview. 0:15:34.280 --> 0:15:38.480 I didn't, I didn't at all. I yeah, Wow, the 0:15:38.480 --> 0:15:41.280 Brenner that I remembered from when we were kids and 0:15:41.320 --> 0:15:43.160 when we used to hang out when we were teenagers, 0:15:44.040 --> 0:15:45.560 I knew that she was going to be able to 0:15:45.600 --> 0:15:48.200 tell a good story, just because she's so intricate with 0:15:48.400 --> 0:15:50.600 the way she speaks. And I remember telling her that 0:15:50.680 --> 0:15:53.240 as well. I said, the Brenner that I know can 0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:58.080 can speak amazing like she can speak amazingly well. So 0:15:58.160 --> 0:16:00.840 I didn't really have to coach in any way. I 0:16:01.000 --> 0:16:04.800 just asked her to just recap the events of that day. 0:16:04.840 --> 0:16:08.800 And yeah, obviously in that interview that we did do 0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:12.000 was the first time that she had heard that I 0:16:12.080 --> 0:16:14.120 carried the guilt from that day as well, So it 0:16:14.160 --> 0:16:15.960 was a bit of a surprise to her, but as 0:16:16.000 --> 0:16:18.120 you heard, like, she's such an amazing person and she 0:16:18.360 --> 0:16:19.880 just for her to be willing to sit down and 0:16:19.920 --> 0:16:22.040 talk to me after ten years of no contact was 0:16:22.240 --> 0:16:24.960 someone really special. So I'm glad that. I'm glad that 0:16:25.000 --> 0:16:26.040 it turned out the way it did. 0:16:26.800 --> 0:16:31.440 You've shown us what it is to have two people 0:16:31.480 --> 0:16:33.960 experience the same event and have very different memories of 0:16:34.000 --> 0:16:37.000 it and very different perceptions and processing of it. And 0:16:37.040 --> 0:16:38.520 you didn't have to tell us that and give us 0:16:38.560 --> 0:16:40.120 a lecture on that being the case or what the 0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:43.560 psychology of that is. You sort of made that point 0:16:43.680 --> 0:16:46.120 so beautifully, and I think much more powerfully by showing 0:16:46.200 --> 0:16:49.400 us rather than telling us. One of the sequences in 0:16:49.440 --> 0:16:53.480 there that really struck me was the section where you're 0:16:53.680 --> 0:16:57.240 recalling that day at the washing machine, and you're going 0:16:57.320 --> 0:17:01.040 backwards and forwards between your retelling and then Brenner's retelling. 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:07.640 How did you make that choice to use both recollections simultaneously. 0:17:08.320 --> 0:17:12.320 The first time I recapped my memories of the event, 0:17:12.480 --> 0:17:15.800 which were much more traumatic than Brenner's, and you can 0:17:15.880 --> 0:17:18.960 kind of hear the difference of it, you know, I 0:17:19.040 --> 0:17:22.320 recorded my recap first of all, and then in the 0:17:22.320 --> 0:17:24.760 interview with Brenner, and I just said, you know, go 0:17:24.840 --> 0:17:27.359 for it, told me what you can remember, and that 0:17:27.560 --> 0:17:30.159 was her one take. I guess it's like a bit 0:17:30.200 --> 0:17:33.440 of a juxtaposition. I guess that is that the word 0:17:33.440 --> 0:17:33.720 that we. 0:17:33.800 --> 0:17:36.440 Use in the internet got Yeah, and you've kept it. 0:17:36.600 --> 0:17:39.560 You've kept your retailing quite pure by making sure you 0:17:39.600 --> 0:17:42.160 did yours first, and you weren't you weren't colored by 0:17:42.160 --> 0:17:43.440 what she said. 0:17:43.560 --> 0:17:43.879 Yeah. 0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:48.359 Next, I suppose in your last episode you interviewed someone 0:17:49.080 --> 0:17:51.000 you'd never met before who could have been a teddy bear, 0:17:51.320 --> 0:17:54.200 and in this episode you interviewed someone who you hadn't 0:17:54.200 --> 0:17:56.119 seen for a long time, but you who you knew. 0:17:56.160 --> 0:17:56.440 Well. 0:17:57.320 --> 0:17:59.840 What was the difference in preparing for those two inter 0:18:00.119 --> 0:18:03.520 use and was it more or less daunting to interview Brenner. 0:18:04.720 --> 0:18:09.160 I definitely had more nerves sitting down with Brenner because 0:18:09.680 --> 0:18:14.520 it's such a sensitive topic and we hadn't had no 0:18:14.640 --> 0:18:17.560 contact for such an extended amount of time. I think 0:18:17.560 --> 0:18:21.159 it was just a little bit nerve wracking. Yeah, reaching 0:18:21.200 --> 0:18:24.719 out to somebody from your past and for me to 0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:27.679 carry something, you know, that I felt like I was 0:18:27.720 --> 0:18:29.960 responsible for for such a long time. And for her 0:18:30.040 --> 0:18:31.560 to be like, oh, that was just a silly thing 0:18:31.560 --> 0:18:32.680 that happened when we were kids. 0:18:32.720 --> 0:18:32.919 You know. 0:18:33.520 --> 0:18:35.879 I think we both kind of left that a little 0:18:35.880 --> 0:18:40.360 bit more, I guess, wiser from both people's perspective on 0:18:40.400 --> 0:18:42.280 the situation as well. So I was glad I had 0:18:42.280 --> 0:18:45.080 that opportunity. I'm so grateful that Brenna wanted to actually 0:18:45.080 --> 0:18:46.600 sit down and then revisit that. 0:18:47.160 --> 0:18:47.400 Ben. 0:18:47.440 --> 0:18:50.480 I think you've made a really stunning piece of audio. Congratulations, 0:18:50.600 --> 0:18:56.680 Thank you so much. How will Ben fair up against Nar? 0:18:57.440 --> 0:19:00.440 We're going to hear what story she found. The theme 0:19:00.480 --> 0:19:02.840 of today was a bad day in just a moment. 0:19:10.640 --> 0:19:13.440 This is Fined and Tell, and our theme this week 0:19:13.600 --> 0:19:17.280 is today was a bad day. When we last heard 0:19:17.359 --> 0:19:21.000 from Nan, she made us consider what it's like when 0:19:21.040 --> 0:19:25.159 your name becomes a global phenomenon and helped us sympathize 0:19:25.280 --> 0:19:28.920 with Karen's around the world. Let's see what she's made 0:19:28.920 --> 0:19:33.040 for us this time. Hey, Nayan, welcome back to Find 0:19:33.080 --> 0:19:33.520 and Tell. 0:19:33.720 --> 0:19:35.359 Hello, it's good to be back. 0:19:35.880 --> 0:19:38.000 All right, we're going into story number two, so we're 0:19:38.040 --> 0:19:40.119 not quite you know, old hands at this, but I 0:19:40.160 --> 0:19:42.399 feel like we've had a little bit of practice. Is 0:19:42.480 --> 0:19:44.680 a little less nerve wracking sending this one out into 0:19:44.720 --> 0:19:46.120 the world than it was last time. 0:19:46.520 --> 0:19:51.439 No, I thought it'd got easier, but no. And I 0:19:51.480 --> 0:19:54.000 feel also because this story is the one that I'm 0:19:54.040 --> 0:19:59.200 most yeah, feel most personal and passionate about, So I'm 0:19:59.359 --> 0:19:59.840 extra and O. 0:20:00.960 --> 0:20:04.120 You're a news journal in your day job, so this 0:20:04.200 --> 0:20:06.320 is a little bit different for you, but at the 0:20:06.359 --> 0:20:08.760 same time it's a little bit familiar. I feel like 0:20:08.800 --> 0:20:11.200 the big shift is you. You're being asked to bring 0:20:11.200 --> 0:20:15.719 more of you to this project. How does that feel? 0:20:16.000 --> 0:20:17.000 Is that comfortable for you? 0:20:17.520 --> 0:20:21.280 It makes me feel very vulnerable. Yeah, it's yeah, definitely 0:20:21.320 --> 0:20:24.560 a great opportunity to explore topics that I normally wouldn't 0:20:24.560 --> 0:20:29.480 be able to. And my initial reaction to you know, 0:20:29.920 --> 0:20:32.920 the theme today was a bad day. I mean, every 0:20:33.000 --> 0:20:35.160 day is a bad day news. There's lots of bad 0:20:35.160 --> 0:20:39.360 things happening here. So I thought, yeah, I could hopefully 0:20:39.400 --> 0:20:41.719 make this something a bit more personal, something a bit 0:20:41.760 --> 0:20:44.560 more poignant, and something that even though it's a bit 0:20:44.640 --> 0:20:48.480 uncomfortable to hear to at least think about. Yeah, because 0:20:48.480 --> 0:20:51.440 I think it will help everyone understand each other more. 0:20:51.600 --> 0:20:54.040 And yeah, I'm. 0:20:53.920 --> 0:20:56.760 Really looking forward to hearing it. This is today was 0:20:56.800 --> 0:20:59.040 a bad day. That's the theme we're tackling, and it's 0:20:59.119 --> 0:21:07.720 NaN's second contribution to find and tell. 0:21:04.680 --> 0:21:08.080 Life is changing in Australia and around the world. 0:21:08.000 --> 0:21:13.080 Those were Twenty twenty was a weird year, but particularly 0:21:13.200 --> 0:21:13.920 for Asians. 0:21:14.480 --> 0:21:17.280 Police in London say the number of hate crimes against 0:21:17.320 --> 0:21:20.800 people of East Asian descent has tripled since the beginning 0:21:20.840 --> 0:21:22.280