Speaker 1: My name is Ben. I'm a storyteller and Find and Tell.
Speaker 1: I grew up on Durall Country. I'd like to recognize
Speaker 1: the traditional Caustodians of this continent whose land was stolen
Speaker 1: nearly two hundred and fifty years ago, in particular the
Speaker 1: Camagle and one Andrei people whose land this podcast was
Speaker 1: recorded on. And we extend our respect to all Aboriginal
Speaker 1: tour Austraight Islander peoples, the rich storytelling history of the
Speaker 1: world's oldest living culture. My culture is what we pay
Speaker 1: homage to when we tell stories on Find and Tell.
Speaker 2: Hello, I'm Jamila Risby and this is Find and Tell,
Speaker 2: the search for the next generation of Australian storytellers.
Speaker 3: Over the series, you'll be introduced to and.
Speaker 2: You'll hear from four diverse Australians as they compete to
Speaker 2: become the first ever Find and Tell Champion. You'll hear
Speaker 2: from Mark, a Filipino Australian from Blacktown in Western Sydney.
Speaker 4: As someone who is probably queer, probably chunky and beautiful.
Speaker 4: I live and serve in so many different communities and
Speaker 4: I want to do my best to platform some stories
Speaker 4: that fit under these incredible groups.
Speaker 2: Kate An Iranian Australian from Foots Gray and Melbourne.
Speaker 5: A huge part of my life has been sitting around
Speaker 5: drinking many many cups of tea, listening to my mom
Speaker 5: and my auntie's gossip, and so the kinds of stories
Speaker 5: that excite me are based in the personal and based
Speaker 5: in family gossip.
Speaker 2: Nayan a Korean Australian from Strathfield in Sydney.
Speaker 6: My cultural background and upbringing has influenced my whole storytelling
Speaker 6: career and how I approach stories and people.
Speaker 2: And Ben a durableman now living in Cesnok in the
Speaker 2: Hunter Valley.
Speaker 1: I think I'm the least experienced person here when it
Speaker 1: comes to content creation. We are here for storytelling, so
Speaker 1: as long as you can spin a good yarn, you'll
Speaker 1: be okay.
Speaker 2: Every episode, the storytellers will be given a new thing
Speaker 2: and they'll be set loose to find and tell unique,
Speaker 2: weird and interesting stories from around the country.
Speaker 3: Whoever tells the best story.
Speaker 2: We'll win the episode, inching one step closer to being
Speaker 2: crowned the winner and taking home the grand price. Up
Speaker 2: for grabs are best in class podcasting goodies and gear
Speaker 2: from the amazing team at Road, so our winner can
Speaker 2: continue finding and telling stories wherever they go. So if
Speaker 2: you love a yarn as much as I do, and
Speaker 2: if you're curious about stories beyond your own experience, then
Speaker 2: you're in the right place. Okay, let's get started. Today's
Speaker 2: theme is silver Linings. Let's meet our first storyteller, Good eye.
Speaker 1: On Ben and from the Yellowora, Durawak Country, currently living
Speaker 1: in sisnok on Wan, a real country. I'm a jack
Speaker 1: of all trades. I've worked as a chippy on the tools,
Speaker 1: I've traveled the world as a travel agent, and I've
Speaker 1: worked in disability and support work. Storytelling has always been
Speaker 1: significant to me in one way or another, whether it
Speaker 1: be the indigenous dream time stories from my mum or
Speaker 1: just swapping stories of other travelers overseas. I've never done
Speaker 1: anything like this before, but I'm excited to give it
Speaker 1: a crack and see what we can come up with.
Speaker 3: Hey, Ben, welcome to find.
Speaker 1: And tell How Jimil, how are you?
Speaker 3: This is exciting?
Speaker 2: We haven't spoken since you went out into the big
Speaker 2: wide world to record some of these How did you
Speaker 2: find it?
Speaker 1: If I'm being honest, it was a lot more difficult
Speaker 1: than I first anticipated.
Speaker 3: That doesn't surprise me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought it was going to be a little
Speaker 1: bit more of a walk in the park than it was.
Speaker 1: A few kind of speed bumps along the way, but
Speaker 1: we got there in the end, so I'm pretty proud.
Speaker 2: And you've never done any podcasting before, so you were
Speaker 2: coming in cold.
Speaker 3: What was the hardest part?
Speaker 1: Oh, has so many different moving parts in chying to
Speaker 1: make an episode. I think that the most difficult part
Speaker 1: for me would have been finally feeling like you had
Speaker 1: something in the bag and then it falling through last minute.
Speaker 2: I guess, Yeah, what kind of stories do you love
Speaker 2: listening to or hearing?
Speaker 1: When I was younger, I grew up listening to stories
Speaker 1: from my mum instead of listening to I guess like
Speaker 1: nursery rhymes to go on to bed. We listened to
Speaker 1: a lot of like dream time stories because my mom's
Speaker 1: are indigenous. Yeah, of course, so me and my siblings
Speaker 1: we were kind of introduced to like a unique type
Speaker 1: of storytelling from a young age. And yeah, I guess
Speaker 1: that's kind of like where I get it from. I
Speaker 1: got to give props to my mum about kind of
Speaker 1: being able to spin a good yarn.
Speaker 2: I guess I remember when we first met before all
Speaker 2: of this kicked off, and you'd just been chosen to
Speaker 2: be part of Fine and Tell. You said, I can
Speaker 2: just tell a really good yarn. That's why I stuck
Speaker 2: my hand up.
Speaker 3: Does that still hold?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think so, I think. But at the same time
Speaker 1: I didn't realize just how much work actually went behind
Speaker 1: a good story. Trying to figure out like the inner
Speaker 1: workings of that was was challenging, but also yeah it was.
Speaker 1: It was awesome.
Speaker 2: Well, I am very keen to hear how you did,
Speaker 2: so let's get to it. Let's hear your Find and
Speaker 2: Tell first story. Sorry, on the theme of silver linings.
Speaker 1: Welcome to Neath, a small country village on the outskirts
Speaker 1: of Cesnock in the Hunter Valley region duckerd Young country.
Speaker 1: It's a real blink and you'd miss it type of town.
Speaker 1: One rode in and one rode out. It has a
Speaker 1: population of four hundred and ninety people, a bus stop,
Speaker 1: a servo and in true blue Australian country town fashion,
Speaker 1: one pub. You'd be forgiven if you've never heard about Neath,
Speaker 1: not many people have, but for a short period of time,
Speaker 1: Neath was the talk of the region. This small, unknown
Speaker 1: country town became home to a mind boggling mystery. This
Speaker 1: story begins a few years ago at the peak of
Speaker 1: COVID lockdowns in New South Wales. Morale was at an
Speaker 1: all time low and there was nothing to look forward to, work, home, work,
Speaker 1: and back home again. But that's exactly how this story starts. See.
Speaker 1: I would have to drive on that one lonely road
Speaker 1: through Neath on my daily commute to work, and that's
Speaker 1: when I first encountered the teddy bears. That's right, teddy bears.
Speaker 1: And I wasn't the only one.
Speaker 8: Would someone tell me the significance of the teddy bears inneath.
Speaker 3: They're all over the place and some are even sitting
Speaker 3: in chairs now, so the road to Neath has become
Speaker 3: a gallery of hanging teddy bears. I dig the kindergarten
Speaker 3: Vlad the Impaler aesthetic, but does anyone know the deal?
Speaker 9: Yeah, it's disgusting. Hopefully they get pulled down soon. Makes
Speaker 9: the place look filthy.
Speaker 8: It's a beautiful gesture to make kids and us big
Speaker 8: kids smile. People who get upset by them must have
Speaker 8: had very sad childhoods.
Speaker 1: In the following weeks, the teddy bears began to multiply
Speaker 1: and What started as five or six soon turned into twenty,
Speaker 1: then thirty, then not before long, there's too many to
Speaker 1: count inhabiting the village. Beneath the trees, the parks, the benches,
Speaker 1: the telegraph poles, the signal boxes, the bus stops. The
Speaker 1: Teddy Bears had even infiltrated the pub. Then one day
Speaker 1: they all vanished. Where did the bears come from? Who
Speaker 1: put them there? And where did they go? This local
Speaker 1: mystery has perplexed me for far too long, and it's
Speaker 1: about time I figured out some answers. So starts my
Speaker 1: investigation to unravel the mystery of the neath Teddy Bears.
Speaker 1: I thought the best place to start would be the
Speaker 1: local community Facebook groups.
Speaker 9: Does anyone know the reason behind Beneath the Teddy Bears?
Speaker 1: A few minutes later, I had a response from a
Speaker 1: user by the name of Gary red high Marsh. Gary commented,
Speaker 1: Rue ted is the one you're looking for and tagged
Speaker 1: in another profile. I clicked on the profile to hopefully
Speaker 1: start piecing together the puzzle, but I ended up only
Speaker 1: getting more questions and answers.
Speaker 9: This profile belongs to a Teddy Bear.
Speaker 1: As I clicked through the photos of the profile, I
Speaker 1: realized this teddy Bear has lived quite a life. Photos
Speaker 1: of him are at the beach on the Gold Coast,
Speaker 1: riding on the back of a motorcycle. He was even
Speaker 1: photographed in a police station. My investigation has taken a
Speaker 1: rather interesting turn. It's about time I message that mysterious
Speaker 1: bear good a routed. I'm currently investigating the mystery of
Speaker 1: the Neath Teddy Bears. Back in twenty twenty, I was
Speaker 1: hoping to possibly interview the person all bear responsible for
Speaker 1: starting it in order to create a podcast episode.
Speaker 9: I've been told you could hold some of the answers
Speaker 9: that I seek.
Speaker 1: Did I just message your teddy Bear?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 1: Did I get a response back from that teddy bear?
Speaker 7: Can Benjamin?
Speaker 3: I certainly can help you with that info.
Speaker 1: A bit of a long story.
Speaker 3: I'm away at Port Macquarie at the moment, but we'll
Speaker 3: be home at the end of the month. I can
Speaker 3: introduce you to my care of Gary.
Speaker 1: Then, could Gary be the one behind the titty Bears?
Speaker 1: I was determined to find out?
Speaker 9: All right, Gary's just pulled up.
Speaker 1: Showt on Gary. Get a Gary, early.
Speaker 10: Mate, buddy heart already.
Speaker 1: It is coming side. It's nice and cool, lovely mate, Gary,
Speaker 1: and I became acquainted.
Speaker 4: All my life.
Speaker 10: I grew up in packs, through in packs and swamp as.
Speaker 1: I say, and we eventually made our way to the
Speaker 1: topic of the titty bears.
Speaker 10: I can tell the story. It's a bit of a
Speaker 10: long story. Years ago I had a caravan on site,
Speaker 10: a Fingerbay caravan.
Speaker 1: Part it was a long story. Gary had a mate
Speaker 1: who worked in the mines who one day had a
Speaker 1: bear sitting on his truck.
Speaker 10: And he was his big Bear sitting in the back
Speaker 10: of his truck.
Speaker 1: Now, one way or another, Gary got that.
Speaker 10: Bear and I used to have it out in the
Speaker 10: front of my caravan.
Speaker 1: And Gary loved that bear. He took it with him
Speaker 1: everywhere he went. It became part of his character. There's
Speaker 1: Gary and there's his teddy Bear.
Speaker 10: We'd go to the club and come back and big
Speaker 10: tail and have women's pants on and lipstick on or whatever.
Speaker 10: I was dressed up and out in front of the
Speaker 10: little house there and people go past, and kids come
Speaker 10: and past.
Speaker 1: Gary was happy being able to bring joy and laughter
Speaker 1: to so many different people, being that quirky bloke of
Speaker 1: his teddy bear going on adventures around Australia. But Big
Speaker 1: ted was only the start of what would soon become
Speaker 1: an impressive collection.
Speaker 10: All of a sudden, I'll come home and there'd be
Speaker 10: a bear on me, another bear on the chair next
Speaker 10: to him, and then another one. People were putting bears
Speaker 10: on my bread. I go to the op chops and
Speaker 10: I'd buy a beer too, So I end up with
Speaker 10: seventy bears. Then when the COVID seventy zero seventy, they're
Speaker 10: the ones, big ones, a whole lot. People were putting
Speaker 10: bears in windows to make people happy in everything, So
Speaker 10: I was thought.
Speaker 1: Well, I've undernoticed to me at the time, there was
Speaker 1: a trend going around during COVID lockdowns. Apparently people would
Speaker 1: put bears in their windows just to make everybody's five
Speaker 1: kilometer radius walk from their house a little bit more enjoyable.
Speaker 1: Gary had heard of the trend, but living in a
Speaker 1: remote area, Gary knew not many people were going to
Speaker 1: be able to enjoy his teddy beer collection. So Gary
Speaker 1: decided on a different approach.
Speaker 10: Well, I've got all these bears, I'm going to put
Speaker 10: someone beside the road. It neath increase and it will
Speaker 10: make people happy. So that's how that said. I put
Speaker 10: a few in them, some more than accord on and
Speaker 10: other people were putting bears there, so I took a
Speaker 10: few more out at different times. There you have it.
Speaker 1: It was just a bloke and his bear who wanted
Speaker 1: to put smiles and faces during a pretty grim time
Speaker 1: for us. All mystery solved right except for one loose end.
Speaker 1: Whatever happened to those bears? Where did they all go?
Speaker 10: Well, as far as I know, there was a crackhead
Speaker 10: and there was I knew there was an accident down there,
Speaker 10: and he ran into a car or two cars and
Speaker 10: a truck and you can see a big on the
Speaker 10: side of the road at the time where he done it.
Speaker 10: He got out the car and running into the bush
Speaker 10: manks the bears.
Speaker 1: Now, luckily no one was hurt, but according to Gary,
Speaker 1: the bear's coped the blame for the accident.
Speaker 10: He said, I was too busy looking at the base
Speaker 10: and then I running into the cars. The folee said,
Speaker 10: well we better get rid of them, and that's what's
Speaker 10: going to happen or whatever. This is what I've heard.
Speaker 10: The next minute the cancel were down there taken the
Speaker 10: ba's away.
Speaker 1: Now, if you haven't picked up yet, Gary is old school.
Speaker 1: He's a little rough around the edges, and he says
Speaker 1: it how it is, but much like he's Teddy Bears,
Speaker 1: Gary has a much softer side. How many beers did
Speaker 1: you first put it out there?
Speaker 10: I put five?
Speaker 5: Just five?
Speaker 1: How many out there do you reckon? Did you end
Speaker 1: up counting?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 10: I did not would have been I recommend let twenty
Speaker 10: to thirty.
Speaker 9: And then I had a mate who worked on the cancil.
Speaker 1: I asked for his inside knowledge to say, do you
Speaker 1: know like we're around when you got rid of the Bears?
Speaker 1: He said, yeah, one hundred and eighty one.
Speaker 11: I didn't know that.
Speaker 10: Oh that's incredible. I'll have to remember that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that to the story next time you're having
Speaker 1: a beer down at Vincent Street.
Speaker 10: One undred eighty that's all put me notes. Yeah, because
Speaker 10: I want to tell missus that's incredible.
Speaker 3: I've got to say something, and I just want to cry.
Speaker 3: That was so funny and so lovely.
Speaker 2: I couldn't figure out for a while there whether or
Speaker 2: not we were going in a true crime direction, or
Speaker 2: whether or not I was going to meet like just
Speaker 2: these lovely local folks who were going to tell me
Speaker 2: about Teddy's.
Speaker 3: And you did both, well done, thank you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it turned out to be a little bit more
Speaker 1: of a I always liked the idea of the mockumentary feel. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so they'd kind of start something that's kind of not
Speaker 1: so serious and kind of add a serious tone to it.
Speaker 2: Did you know what the answer was before you started searching? Like,
Speaker 2: was this a genuine mystery for you? Were we finding
Speaker 2: it out at the same time?
Speaker 7: Yeah, so it was.
Speaker 1: It was still a mystery to me, and it was
Speaker 1: something that had kind of been a question that I'd
Speaker 1: had on my mind for a while and a lot
Speaker 1: of the other locals around the Hunter Valley had seen
Speaker 1: as well. And you know, it would come up in conversations.
Speaker 1: People would be like, does anyone know where they actually
Speaker 1: came from? And when I got the opportunity to do it,
Speaker 1: I thought, well, why don't I just go and find out.
Speaker 2: I wanted to ask about the interview with Gary. I mean,
Speaker 2: Gary sounds like a great guy. He also sounds like
Speaker 2: a guy who's got a lot to say. And one
Speaker 2: of the things that you always have to think about
Speaker 2: when you're interviewing someone for whatever it is is you're
Speaker 2: looking for those pithy lines, right You're looking for them
Speaker 2: to tell the story in a small amount of time.
Speaker 3: Doesn't sound like Gary did that for you.
Speaker 2: So how did you feel when you were doing the
Speaker 2: interview and at the same time thinking how am I
Speaker 2: going to get this told in a few minutes?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Gary, he's a bit of a waffler. Gary, we
Speaker 1: sat down and had a good hour and a half
Speaker 1: chat and we kind of had to trim a lot
Speaker 1: of that to kind of get this episode. I think
Speaker 1: a lot of people around Gary's age and from that
Speaker 1: kind of error as well was that if you have
Speaker 1: the time to sit down and listen to them, and
Speaker 1: if you listen to their story in a hole, you
Speaker 1: can actually find some really good gems throughout it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and yeah, I did a little bit of coaxing obviously.
Speaker 1: He went off the rails a little bit and I
Speaker 1: had to kind of like, Okay, let's get back on track.
Speaker 1: But I liked it because Gary, he was my first
Speaker 1: interview with a stranger as well, so that was a
Speaker 1: bit of a learning curb for me.
Speaker 2: Well, I think you've got some absolute gold out of him,
Speaker 2: and the way it was edited together was just super clever.
Speaker 3: Congratulations, great first day out.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much.
Speaker 2: In a moment we'll hear from our second storyteller, and
Speaker 2: later we'll find out who is one step closer to
Speaker 2: becoming Australia's first ever Find and Tell Champion. This is
Speaker 2: Find and Tell, the search for the next generation of
Speaker 2: diverse storytellers. Today's theme is silver Linings. We just heard
Speaker 2: from Ben and now it's time to meet our next storyteller.
Speaker 7: Hi.
Speaker 5: I'm Kate Robinson and I am an Iranian Australian visual
Speaker 5: artist based here in I'm also a podcaster, so it
Speaker 5: felt so so cool to get to take part in
Speaker 5: a program like Find and Tell. For me, telling authentic,
Speaker 5: deep stories is really important because I think that telling
Speaker 5: stories through kind of narrative long form podcast is something
Speaker 5: that I'm just obsessed with, and so it was really
Speaker 5: really fun for me to get the chance to create
Speaker 5: a podcast in this really different way.
Speaker 3: Kate, Welcome to Find and Tell.
Speaker 5: Oh, it's so nice to be here with you, Jamilla.
Speaker 2: We are about to hear the story you've created, your
Speaker 2: very first story of the show, and up until this
Speaker 2: point it's just been you and your producer and a microphone.
Speaker 2: How does it feel knowing that the whole country is
Speaker 2: about to hear what you've made?
Speaker 5: It's a bit nerve wracking, to be honest. Yeah, I
Speaker 5: think for me, like the kinds of stories that I
Speaker 5: love the most are really personal ones. And so when
Speaker 5: I started this project, like I instantly knew that that's
Speaker 5: what I was going to do. But then when it
Speaker 5: comes to this moment, Wye, other people are going to
Speaker 5: be listening to this very inkate's head story, it feels
Speaker 5: a bit scary.
Speaker 2: Oh, I just got all like, oh, this sounds like
Speaker 2: a cliche, but I go chili. After that, I am psyched.
Speaker 2: The theme for this week is silver linings without giving
Speaker 2: away this very personal story. What did that mean to
Speaker 2: you when you first heard the theme was silver linings?
Speaker 2: What did you first think of?
Speaker 5: I think for me, silver linings really are about when
Speaker 5: you go through something shit. Yeah yeah, but there's there's
Speaker 5: something good that kind of you know, surrounds it and
Speaker 5: comes out of it. And so for me, it was
Speaker 5: very clear what I was going to talk about from
Speaker 5: the moment that I heard this theme. Literally the first
Speaker 5: conversation that I had with the producers during the training day,
Speaker 5: wen added out what this story was going to be
Speaker 5: about because I just knew, and I think sometimes when
Speaker 5: you're a creative if you have something that you're like,
Speaker 5: I just must tell this story, like you just have
Speaker 5: to chase it and you just have to follow it.
Speaker 5: And so that's what I did with this one.
Speaker 2: All right, I cannot wait any longer, and I'm sure
Speaker 2: that is the case for you listening right now as well.
Speaker 2: I am in the same boat as you. I have
Speaker 2: not heard Kate's story. I've not heard any of the stories,
Speaker 2: and I am busting to.
Speaker 9: Get to it.
Speaker 2: So without further ado, this is Kate's first Find and
Speaker 2: Tell story for Silver Linings.
Speaker 5: In the midst of the worst week of my life,
Speaker 5: I got this really unexpected voice message from a friend
Speaker 5: of a friend.
Speaker 7: He love.
Speaker 6: I've been thinking of you lot. I couldn't sleep last
Speaker 6: night and you were on my mind, and I just
Speaker 6: wanted to say that I know how ground shattering this
Speaker 6: breakup and situation is and how I found it hard
Speaker 6: to process things.
Speaker 5: Jane and I had met at a festival a few
Speaker 5: weeks beforehand, and so we had the kind of closeness
Speaker 5: that comes from sweaty dance for moments and late night chats,
Speaker 5: and by that I mean we really didn't know each other.
Speaker 5: And yet that voice message on that day was exactly
Speaker 5: what I needed.
Speaker 6: I actually found a lot of solace in speaking to
Speaker 6: a friend over voice message just as stuff was coming up,
Speaker 6: like journaling kind of verbally. It really really helps me.
Speaker 6: So yeah, I am sending some love from the coast.
Speaker 5: So off the back of AJ's advice, and after very
Speaker 5: very little sleep, I took out my phone and I
Speaker 5: started voice messaging her.
Speaker 7: Hi, my dear, it was so nice to get your
Speaker 7: voice message. Thanks for sending it. So I am in
Speaker 7: the apartment. I survived my first night sleeping here alone.
Speaker 5: When I listen back to these voice messages now, to
Speaker 5: be honest, I don't think it even sounds like me,
Speaker 5: this girl who was so shocked about her life radically
Speaker 5: and unexpectedly changing, and just all.
Speaker 7: Feels so crazy, to be honest, And it's just like
Speaker 7: it's just fucking bizarre. Basically that last week that I
Speaker 7: was just having a totally normal week and everything has
Speaker 7: changed so drastically, and I just had no idea.
Speaker 5: All right, every single one of us has been through
Speaker 5: some kind of experience of heartbreak, but when you're going
Speaker 5: through it, it's so hard to have any kind of perspective.
Speaker 11: There's basically like a roster of people that are just
Speaker 11: coming over, dropping off food, spending time with me. Like
Speaker 11: last night, I realized, like there's still a part of
Speaker 11: me that doesn't understand that this is real, and like
Speaker 11: there's still a part of me that's like waiting.
Speaker 5: Tonight is the first night heart believe. I feel a
Speaker 5: bit of anger about all of that. You haven't like
Speaker 5: you decided I had someone over in the evening.
Speaker 7: Driving alone seems insane that my life can feel like
Speaker 7: a trash my yet I still have to prepare for
Speaker 7: this thing.
Speaker 5: Me feeling the way that I do is it's still
Speaker 5: definitely weird. That has been like an absolutely fascinating realization
Speaker 5: to come to me. I've spent a year voice messaging
Speaker 5: back and forth with AJ, and now that I'm out
Speaker 5: of the weeds of the breakup, I can see things
Speaker 5: a bit more clearly. Our friendship at this really pivotal,
Speaker 5: weird moment in my life has made me think a
Speaker 5: lot about how we survive heartbreak, but also why we
Speaker 5: choose to lean on the people that we do. These
Speaker 5: are big questions, and to explore them, I wanted to
Speaker 5: talk to someone who's an expert in friendships but also
Speaker 5: in failure.
Speaker 8: I consider my romantic breakups some of the most visceral
Speaker 8: periods of grief in my life, but the mere act
Speaker 8: of living through that and surviving it had made me
Speaker 8: understand I was so much stronger than I thought I was.
Speaker 8: It taught me a lot about my capacity for resilience.
Speaker 5: That's author and podcaster Elizabeth Day and her book friend
Speaker 5: of Hollick. It's had such a big impact on me
Speaker 5: this year. My copy is underlined and tabbed like a
Speaker 5: textbook because I think that breakups, they really often, shine
Speaker 5: a light on all of our relationships a bit, in
Speaker 5: particular our friendships.
Speaker 8: One of the most momentous breakups in my life was
Speaker 8: three weeks before my thirty ninth birthday. I remember so
Speaker 8: vividly that breakup happening and me opening the window of
Speaker 8: my rented flat and smoking a cigarette. I don't smoke,
Speaker 8: by the way, but it felt like the only appropriate,
Speaker 8: least a tragic thing to do.
Speaker 5: When your life gets unexpectedly turned upside down. Like elizabeths
Speaker 5: did like minded, the balance in the scales of everything
Speaker 5: kind of skews, including in your friendships. All of a
Speaker 5: sudden you become the friend who is kind of a miss,
Speaker 5: But there's also something so beautiful about friendship that is
Speaker 5: born out of a time when there's no expectation of
Speaker 5: anything in return.
Speaker 8: I do not know what I would have done without
Speaker 8: my friends after that breakup, literally to the extent that
Speaker 8: the first person I called was Emma, my ex was
Speaker 8: still in the flat, and I said, this has happened,
Speaker 8: and she was like, right, but he doesn't mean that
Speaker 8: I mean, because it seems so ludicrous to her. She's like, right,
Speaker 8: but he's joking, isn't he. I was like no, and
Speaker 8: she said, Okay, my darling, this is what we're going
Speaker 8: to do, and she basically gave me a plan of action.
Speaker 8: The next day, I didn't want to be on my own.
Speaker 8: I went and stayed with another friend of mine, Francesco,
Speaker 8: who has like, just come over, just stay the night.
Speaker 8: Like all of my friends rounded around, and all of
Speaker 8: them just cacooned me in a sense of safety, love
Speaker 8: and understanding, and they allowed me to talk it through
Speaker 8: and they shared with me what they felt. Just the
Speaker 8: sheer generosity of them allowing me to feel heard really
Speaker 8: assuaged a lot of my sadness. And do you know
Speaker 8: the other thing that was so meaningful to me. They
Speaker 8: actually shared my sadness because they knew that it wasn't
Speaker 8: just about the person I was with. It was about
Speaker 8: the time of life that I was in, to the
Speaker 8: extent that Francesca then like marched.
Speaker 3: Me into for Dinity clinic.
Speaker 8: And I don't know, that mixture of sort of practicality
Speaker 8: and just the force of their love for me just
Speaker 8: got me through because I knew that I always had
Speaker 8: somewhere to turn.
Speaker 5: There's something so important in these moments to know that
Speaker 5: you're not alone and to actually feel quite the opposite,
Speaker 5: that you have this incredible group of people who are
Speaker 5: rallying around.
Speaker 8: You, and they have always been there when my heart
Speaker 8: has been broken to repair it, but also to remind
Speaker 8: me that the most consistent and meaningful love of my
Speaker 8: life is the love of my friends.
Speaker 5: Oh that's so beautiful, Elizabeth. I had exactly this same
Speaker 5: experience where my ex partner was still in the flat
Speaker 5: as well, and I called my best friend Alice, and
Speaker 5: she did exactly as you said. She said, no, that's
Speaker 5: not possible.
Speaker 7: Are you sure?
Speaker 5: And I said I'm sure, And then she said, all right,
Speaker 5: this is what you're going to do. So I didn't
Speaker 5: have to do any of the labor. She was like,
Speaker 5: just stay on the phone to me and you will
Speaker 5: get someone to come and pick you up as soon
Speaker 5: as possible.
Speaker 8: That's incredible. Here's to Alice and Emma. I am so
Speaker 8: glad we have those women in our lives.
Speaker 5: We all have our Alice's and our Emma's who we
Speaker 5: know will forever show up for us. But when your
Speaker 5: life goes through a seismic shift, there's also, of course
Speaker 5: those people that just fade away. And then there are
Speaker 5: the friends that are directly born out of those circumstances,
Speaker 5: who you become close to really quickly in a way
Speaker 5: that you probably otherwise wouldn't. It's friends like AJ. Even now,
Speaker 5: a year later, I'm not one hundred percent sure that
Speaker 5: we became friends because of our shared experience of hatbreak,
Speaker 5: or because voice messaging is just such a powerful, honorable medium.
Speaker 5: So I decided to ask Elizabeth about what role voice
Speaker 5: messaging plays in her friendships.
Speaker 8: I am so glad you asked that. It's like I've
Speaker 8: waited my whole life to be asked this question. It
Speaker 8: plays an enormous and profound role for me. I love
Speaker 8: nothing more than a voice note. I think it's partly
Speaker 8: because I am an introvert, which I know is ironic
Speaker 8: given that I'm sitting here chatting to you and I
Speaker 8: kind of put myself out there. But what I understand
Speaker 8: my introversion is that I like to have deep connections
Speaker 8: one on one, and I find that phone calls really
Speaker 8: drain my energy because I never know how to end them.
Speaker 8: So I love voice noting and I voice note definitely.
Speaker 8: With my best friend a lot. We voice note each
Speaker 8: other and it is such a joy listening to her
Speaker 8: voice notes to me, and it is like listening to
Speaker 8: an episode of my favorite podcast.
Speaker 5: I love that so much because that is exactly how
Speaker 5: I feel about voice messaging, especially when I was going
Speaker 5: through the breakup, and it's something where your energy is
Speaker 5: like simultaneously so drained and like so amplified, and so
Speaker 5: voice messaging was that perfect medium where I could just
Speaker 5: pick up the phone and speak to someone when I
Speaker 5: felt like on my terms and there was no pressure,
Speaker 5: and I just love that so much.
Speaker 8: And it's something that you can do when you're walking somewhere,
Speaker 8: and there's something about that combination that feels you can
Speaker 8: be more open and more vulnerable than if you're curating
Speaker 8: a text or if you are on a phone call,
Speaker 8: I'm constantly trying to gauge how the other person might
Speaker 8: be feeling, and I can't see their face. There's something
Speaker 8: disjointed about it. Whereas the voice note, I am sending
Speaker 8: something from my world into theirs, and I know that
Speaker 8: they will listen to it when they have space to
Speaker 8: listen to it. Someone should write a book about voice notes.
Speaker 5: I've listened back to so many voice messages between AJ
Speaker 5: and I, and the perspective that I've gained from it
Speaker 5: is that really has, like with the voice messaging, my
Speaker 5: breakup has made me be a more vulnerable version of
Speaker 5: myself in my friendships. It's something that I know that
Speaker 5: I've struggled with in the past, and it's been a
Speaker 5: huge positive in an otherwise really shitty year.
Speaker 8: So I think heartbreak, whether it's a romantic one or
Speaker 8: a friendship one, it really reveals us as we truly are,
Speaker 8: rather than how we like to imagine we might be
Speaker 8: in the future.
Speaker 5: When you go through a breakup, a little bit of
Speaker 5: your identity it just chips away. It doesn't matter how
Speaker 5: independent you were before. It's really your friends that tether
Speaker 5: you back to some kind of sense of yourself. They
Speaker 5: remind you that you're loved, that you're cared for, that
Speaker 5: you're not alone, which, to be honest, is some of
Speaker 5: the biggest reasons that people are afraid of not being
Speaker 5: in a relationship. For Elizabeth, her friends were overwhelmingly the
Speaker 5: people that knew her the most, deeply, loved her the
Speaker 5: most unconditionally, and were the one constant in her life.
Speaker 8: My friends, I would say, they're like family to me.
Speaker 8: They're better than family. They're my chosen family, and they
Speaker 8: understand me so deeply, and.
Speaker 5: I feel exactly the same way through the ugliness of heartbreak.
Speaker 5: Friendship that is vulnerable friendship, that is deep friendship that
Speaker 5: happens via voice message. It was the only silver lining.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I loved it. I loved it.
Speaker 5: Well done, Thank you so much.
Speaker 3: And your voice.
Speaker 2: You've got good voice, good cadence and rhythm and feelings.
Speaker 7: Thank you.
Speaker 2: I have a lot of questions. Are the voice notes
Speaker 2: to AJ the real voice notes or did you?
Speaker 9: Oh wow?
Speaker 5: Literally about twenty four hours of voice messages back and forth,
Speaker 5: and as part of this project, I went through a
Speaker 5: year's worth of voice notes and that's that's a lot,
Speaker 5: and I thought that I was really healed, and then
Speaker 5: I listened to the very first one that we're here
Speaker 5: at the start of the episode, and I just instantly
Speaker 5: started crying because it doesn't sound like me.
Speaker 2: No, you do sound like a different person. I mean,
Speaker 2: as soon as I heard Elizabeth Day's voice, I was like,
Speaker 2: that's Elizabeth Day. And then I was like, my being
Speaker 2: one weird person that thinks all English people sound the same,
Speaker 2: maybe it's not.
Speaker 3: No, how did she do that?
Speaker 2: So tell me about Like, that's quite a practical thing
Speaker 2: to do, to go after someone who's a big name,
Speaker 2: who's a celebrity.
Speaker 3: How'd you get her to do it?
Speaker 5: To be honest, I just wanted to talk to Elizabeth
Speaker 5: Day this whole show.
Speaker 3: Your involvement was about one thing.
Speaker 5: When I think of friendships, it's just intrinsically linked in
Speaker 5: my head with Elizabeth Day because she's in so many
Speaker 5: ways the queen of friendship. So when we were pitching
Speaker 5: ideas for who we might talk to for this episode,
Speaker 5: I just like kind of sheepishly, was like, well, Elizabeth
Speaker 5: Day is going to be in Melbourne next week, so
Speaker 5: maybe we try for Elizabeth's Day and we kind of
Speaker 5: laughed it off because it seemed absurd that she would
Speaker 5: say yes, then she did.
Speaker 2: I mean it shows ambition pays off, right, you can
Speaker 2: only ask, well, credit to you, because I think for
Speaker 2: someone who is high profile and does a lot of interviews,
Speaker 2: I think they can start to become For someone like
Speaker 2: Elizabeth Day like, oh, it's just another one because I'm
Speaker 2: doing seventeen today another four tomorrow, And to get something
Speaker 2: out of her that was unusual and different does take.
Speaker 3: Knowledge and skill.
Speaker 2: Well, you made me feel really comfortable and safe as
Speaker 2: the listener, and more than that, you really made me
Speaker 2: want to go call my best mate. So I think
Speaker 2: if that was what you were going for, you absolutely
Speaker 2: nailed it. Congratulations Kate, Thank you so much.
Speaker 5: Schimmeller.
Speaker 2: So, who told the best silver lining story? I'm going
Speaker 2: to make my decision and chat to them in just
Speaker 2: a moment. This is Fine and Tell, And the theme
Speaker 2: this week was silver linings. This was a really difficult
Speaker 2: contest to call. These were two outstanding stories. Ben was
Speaker 2: made for podcasting folks. His voice is so strong and assured,
Speaker 2: and he's got a little bit of cheekiness in there too.
Speaker 2: He also created a kind of true crime vibe, but
Speaker 2: there's something awesome about hearing that true crime approach jaxtaposed
Speaker 2: with the kind of cutesy weirdness of the Teddy Bear's
Speaker 2: Picnic song and the theme of his story. If I
Speaker 2: had any suggestions for Ben for next week, it would
Speaker 2: be to make sure he rounds the story out completely.
Speaker 2: The ending felt just a tiny bit abrupt, and I
Speaker 2: think if he'd even given us one or two more sentences,
Speaker 2: it would have helped us leave the podcast feeling warm
Speaker 2: and fuzzy and wanting to go to a Teddy Bear's picnic.
Speaker 2: It sort of caught me by surprise that that was
Speaker 2: the end. In Kate's I loved how insightful her scripting was.
Speaker 2: I've had my share of emotional breakups, and she absolutely
Speaker 2: took me back there with her really clever scripting and
Speaker 2: the way she built some mystery and anticipation. Something I
Speaker 2: would love to see from Kate next week is just
Speaker 2: to work on those cliches a little bit now. And
Speaker 2: then she sort of had a line that didn't hit
Speaker 2: as hard because it was one of those cliched phrases
Speaker 2: that you hear a lot. I really liked the fact
Speaker 2: that she managed to land Elizabeth Day. I mean, who
Speaker 2: wouldn't like it. That's a really big name celebrity, and
Speaker 2: I thought the interview was strong, but perhaps we could
Speaker 2: have seen a bit more of a smoother integration of Elizabeth.
Speaker 2: Sometimes it felt like there were two stories going on
Speaker 2: in one. This was a really tough call, but after
Speaker 2: hearing both stories, I've decided that based on originality. Ben, Ben,
Speaker 2: congratulations you're this week's winner.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, thank you so much.
Speaker 10: Wow.
Speaker 3: I really wanted to go on a Tedb's picnic. By
Speaker 3: the end of it, I really.
Speaker 2: Wanted to meet Gary and there was just so much
Speaker 2: heart in that story. You made me feel like I
Speaker 2: was right there in Gary's living room with you.
Speaker 3: Well done.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I've had a lot of fun
Speaker 1: working on this one, so I'm glad it turned out
Speaker 1: the way it did.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much, Ben and Kate.
Speaker 2: What an incredible way to kick off Finding But hey,
Speaker 2: there is so much more left to come, So press
Speaker 2: the follow button in whatever podcast app you're on so
Speaker 2: you don't miss a moment. In our next episode, we'll
Speaker 2: introduce you to our final two storytellers, or you can
Speaker 2: get a sneak peek right now at findin tel dot
Speaker 2: com dot au. Find in Tel is a co production
Speaker 2: between iHeart Australia and the.
Speaker 3: Black Cast podcast network.
Speaker 2: Black Cast empowers First Nations people and people of color
Speaker 2: to reclaim their narratives, strengthen cultural identity, and contribute to
Speaker 2: a more inclusive Australia by showcasing exciting emerging talent from
Speaker 2: Australian communities.