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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the

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Speaker 1: time poor parent who just answers Now, Hello the Stocks.

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Speaker 1: Justin Colson the parenting expert on Channel Line's Parental Guidance

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Speaker 1: and author of six books. Seventh book comes out in

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Speaker 1: a couple of weeks time. Stay tuned to the podcast

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Speaker 1: for more. Recently, we were having a conversation on the

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Speaker 1: Happy Families podcast and I just loved it. Decided to

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Speaker 1: share a bit more about this. A highlight from the

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Speaker 1: Happy Families podcast. There's this book that's called The Gift

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Speaker 1: of Failure. Jessica Lay is the author of that book,

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Speaker 1: and she was kind enough to join Kylie and I

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Speaker 1: on the Happy Families podcast. Kylie loved the book The

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Speaker 1: Gift of Failure, particularly where she wrote about getting the

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Speaker 1: kids to help with chores around the house. You talked

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Speaker 1: about this idea and importance of chores. Can you tell

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Speaker 1: us what this has to do with teaching our children

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Speaker 1: about failure?

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Speaker 2: Well, first, I don't call them chores because I don't

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Speaker 2: know about you. Because I don't want to do something

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Speaker 2: that's called a chore. I mean, you're set up for

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Speaker 2: it to sound horrible, right, So, and it also makes

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Speaker 2: it sound like it's something specific to the kid. Well,

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Speaker 2: we call them in our house or household duties because

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Speaker 2: they are part of being a part of family, Like

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Speaker 2: you don't do them for money. So for example, so

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Speaker 2: there's no in our house, there's an allowance situation, but

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Speaker 2: it has nothing to do with doing household duties. Household

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Speaker 2: duties are things you do as part of being a

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Speaker 2: part of a family and sort of holding moving the

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Speaker 2: family forward as a unit. And there is actually really

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Speaker 2: good research to show that when kids are helping out

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Speaker 2: with the family, helping move the family forward, especially during

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Speaker 2: times of hardship, that kids tend to be less emotionally

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Speaker 2: damaged by challenges in the family. When kids are feeling

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Speaker 2: like they're even if it's something as small as putting

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Speaker 2: their dishes in the dishwasher or helping feed the dogs,

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Speaker 2: that they are a part of maintaining the family and

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Speaker 2: they're really involved in the family structure. So and by

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Speaker 2: the way, there's a fantastic book called The Opposite of

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Speaker 2: Spoiled by Ron Lieber that is about raising kids with

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Speaker 2: you know, to deal with money, and he is in

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Speaker 2: total agreement. We do not pay kids to do work

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Speaker 2: around the house. But you give kids, you give kids

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Speaker 2: an allowance in order to help them learn about spending,

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Speaker 2: saving and giving and that and budgeting, and that's a

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Speaker 2: really so Ron Lieber's book The Opposite is Spoiled is

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Speaker 2: brilliant and I can't recommend it highly enough. So having

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Speaker 2: age appropriate tasks for kids, and I actually break down

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Speaker 2: in the book what kids are capable of at all

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Speaker 2: the ages, along with what their cognitive development situation is,

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Speaker 2: what their manual dexterity situation is, what they're capable of

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Speaker 2: doing and at what age. And when you look at

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Speaker 2: that list, there's all kinds of things that even small

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Speaker 2: kids can be doing. And one of the fun things

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Speaker 2: about writing having written this book is people send me

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Speaker 2: videos of things that their kids are doing and are

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Speaker 2: so proud of. There was a dad sent me a

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Speaker 2: picture or a video of his maybe five year old

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Speaker 2: son and two year old daughter, and the five year

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Speaker 2: old son wanted to help with the laundry desperately, but

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Speaker 2: it was a top loading washing machine, and so you know,

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Speaker 2: he can't reach in there very well. So the little

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Speaker 2: boy had set it up so that his little sister

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Speaker 2: was supposed to hold onto his pant legs. So that

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Speaker 2: if he were to fall in the washing machine, and

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Speaker 2: don't worry. The dad was right there, obviously, he was filming,

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Speaker 2: and so he said, you pull me out if I

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Speaker 2: get stuck. And so he would pull the pieces out

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Speaker 2: one at a time, hanging over the edge of the

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Speaker 2: washing machine, hand them to his sister, and his little

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Speaker 2: sister would put them in the dryer. And then at

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Speaker 2: the end, it was really sweet. He didn't actually get stuck,

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Speaker 2: but he pretended like he got stuck so his little

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Speaker 2: sister could help him out, and she pulled him out

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Speaker 2: of the washing machine. And these moments like they're just

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Speaker 2: so proud of themselves, and we don't give them opportunities

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Speaker 2: to feel like a useful member of the family, a

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Speaker 2: member of the family that's pulling some weight, that has

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Speaker 2: a steak in the family and is not just some

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Speaker 2: precious object that we you know, we'd give no responsibilities too.

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Speaker 1: From episode two hundred and sixty four of The Happy

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Speaker 1: Famili's podcast. You can listen to the entire episode it's

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Speaker 1: number two hundred and sixty four by clicking on the

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Speaker 1: link in the show notes or heading back through the

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Speaker 1: Just just scroll through, you'll find it. It's all the

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Speaker 1: way there talking about the gift of failure. Imagine a

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Speaker 1: relationship where you felt seen, heard and valued. One where

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Speaker 1: as your partner enters the front door, they see you

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Speaker 1: and their eyes light up. A relationship like that is

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Speaker 1: a gift. If you don't have it, now you can.

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Speaker 1: The Happy Family's webinar Better Together gives you the insight,

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Speaker 1: tools and support you need to have a happier relationship,

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Speaker 1: Available now at the Happy Family's webshop. The Happy Family's

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Speaker 1: membership is available right now. It's thirteen dollars a month

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Speaker 1: for a basic membership or eighteen dollars a month for

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Speaker 1: a premium membership. With that membership, you get so much

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Speaker 1: value to make your family happier. You'll receive a monthly webinar. Recently,

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Speaker 1: we've been talking about everything from emotion coaching to carrots

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Speaker 1: and sticks. We've been talking about how to guide our

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Speaker 1: children successfully, what to do about praising our kids, why

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Speaker 1: that's a problem, how to minimize control, why competition can

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Speaker 1: undermine our kids well being, and so much more. And

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Speaker 1: the rest of this year's webinars have been penciled into

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Speaker 1: the calendar, and you wouldn't believe how great the content

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Speaker 1: will be. Normally it's thirty bucks a month for a webinar.

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Speaker 1: If you are a Happy Famili's member, it's only thirteen

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Speaker 1: dollars or eighteen dollars. But on top of the webinars,

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Speaker 1: you also receive a monthly Q and A with me.

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Speaker 1: And if it's not a Q and A, it's an

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Speaker 1: Ask the Expert, where I bring in experts who know

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Speaker 1: how to answer the questions that you have about specific

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Speaker 1: topics like technology or friendships or school issues, and the

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Speaker 1: list goes on and on. Oh, by the way, we

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Speaker 1: also do this thing once a quarter called a role

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Speaker 1: play with Doctor J. Two or three people get to

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Speaker 1: spend some time while everyone else takes notes and listens

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Speaker 1: carefully as we go through role plays. Here's what you

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Speaker 1: do when your kids are having a hard time. They

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Speaker 1: tell me what their problem is, and then I roll

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Speaker 1: play it as if they're the kid and I'm the parent,

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Speaker 1: and then we swap so they get to discover just

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Speaker 1: how hard it is to do it, so that we

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Speaker 1: can help you to improve your parenting and progress it

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Speaker 1: in the right direction. Role Play with Doctor J, A

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Speaker 1: Doctor JQ and A and Ask the Expert. That's all

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Speaker 1: part of the Happy Family's Premium membership. On top of that,

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Speaker 1: if you're a premium member, you get access to our

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Speaker 1: entire webinar video library. We are talking thousands of dollars

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Speaker 1: worth of webinars, all sitting there waiting for you to

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Speaker 1: consume so that you can get yourself essentially a PhD

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Speaker 1: in parenting. And the list goes on. There's more stuff

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Speaker 1: than I have time to tell you about. The value

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Speaker 1: is amazing. Oh, by the way, if you get a

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Speaker 1: twelve month membership, we'll give you two months free. So

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Speaker 1: you pay upfront and instead of paying twelve times thirteen

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Speaker 1: or twelve times eighteen. I can't do the mask, but

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Speaker 1: whatever it is, you just pay one hundred and thirty

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Speaker 1: or one hundred and eighty bucks. Well times are by

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Speaker 1: ten instead of by twelve, you save money. It's all there.

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Speaker 1: So that's the Happy Famili's membership. We don't usually do

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Speaker 1: pretty hard sells on the podcast, but a couple of

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Speaker 1: times during these school holidays, I wanted to make sure

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Speaker 1: that you're aware of it because there's so much value

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Speaker 1: and it makes such a difference in people's lives. The

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Speaker 1: Happy Family's membership you can find it online at Happyfamilies

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Speaker 1: dot com dot au. The Happy Families podcast is produced

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Speaker 1: by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our

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Speaker 1: executive producer and if you want more info about making

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Speaker 1: your family happy at check out our memberships or just

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Speaker 1: visit us at happy families dot com dot au