Speaker 1: Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of the
Speaker 1: Life on Part I'm Brittany.
Speaker 2: And I'm Laura, and this is our Thursday episode, which
Speaker 2: is our down and dirty little episode where we answer
Speaker 2: all of your deep, dark and burning questions.
Speaker 1: And we have had a lot of dm slidings this
Speaker 1: week with the questions. We do have a couple of
Speaker 1: killer questions.
Speaker 2: But you know what, guys, before we do get into
Speaker 2: answering your questions, if you have one for next week,
Speaker 2: you can slide into the DMS at Life un Cup
Speaker 2: podcast that there's something that we really want to share
Speaker 2: with you all, and we are I don't even know
Speaker 2: how to bring this conversation up or say it, because
Speaker 2: it's genuinely the most devastating news and it's something that
Speaker 2: we found out last Friday, and we weren't really sure
Speaker 2: how to share it with you guys. We weren't really
Speaker 2: sure if we just had the conversation on social media
Speaker 2: or whether we brought it to the podcast and talked
Speaker 2: about it here. And we have been speaking about it
Speaker 2: over the last couple of days, but we really wanted
Speaker 2: to for anybody who's not part of the social media community,
Speaker 2: for anyone who's not part of Facebook, to be able
Speaker 2: to also honor that conversation on the podcast as well,
Speaker 2: and that is we found out last Friday that Chanelle Bryant,
Speaker 2: who is an incredible woman, somebody who we interviewed last December.
Speaker 2: Chanelle had triple negative breast cancer and she had been
Speaker 2: diagnosed with terminal cancer and we spoke to her about
Speaker 2: her journey. We spoke to her about the importance of
Speaker 2: checking your breast and she was so incredible. She has
Speaker 2: been a huge member of the life onn cut community.
Speaker 2: She's been an active member in the Facebook group. So
Speaker 2: many of you know who she is and have been
Speaker 2: as invested in her story as what we have been.
Speaker 2: And we received the news that she passed away last
Speaker 2: Friday in her sleep, surrounded by her family, and we
Speaker 2: just wanted to be able to share that with you
Speaker 2: all because we know, just like I said, how much
Speaker 2: she touched every single one of you as well. We
Speaker 2: did speak to Chanelle. The interview that we did do
Speaker 2: with her for anyone that hasn't listened to it yet
Speaker 2: but that would really like to. It was such a beautiful,
Speaker 2: powerful episode. But that was on the fourteenth of December,
Speaker 2: and when we did speak to Chanel. Then she did
Speaker 2: say to us that if she could make it till Christmas,
Speaker 2: which obviously was only I guess two weeks away at
Speaker 2: that point, that she would just be beyond happy.
Speaker 1: That's all she wanted to do was was make it
Speaker 1: till Christmas. She did make it past Christmas, and then
Speaker 1: her next goal was to make it to her daughter
Speaker 1: Vague's birthday, which she did. So Chanelle made it until
Speaker 1: the twenty first of January, and that is when she
Speaker 1: passed away. I guess if there's one thing we can take,
Speaker 1: it's that she got to make some last, really beautiful
Speaker 1: memories with her family. So we just want to send
Speaker 1: all of our love to Chanelle's family, to her friends,
Speaker 1: to her children, to the community, to everybody that Chanel touched,
Speaker 1: because she was just such a ray of light. Just
Speaker 1: as a reminder, because it was Chanelle's message, it was
Speaker 1: what she was literally fighting for, was to make everyone
Speaker 1: a little bit more aware of their body and their breasts.
Speaker 1: So if you are listening right now, grab.
Speaker 2: Your boobs and check them out, honestly, and this is
Speaker 2: because you know, Chanelle was only thirty seven years old.
Speaker 2: She has two children and She's left behind an incredible legacy. However,
Speaker 2: I think the big message here is that when you're young,
Speaker 2: you just don't think that these things could ever possibly
Speaker 2: happen to you. I wanted to leave this conversation with
Speaker 2: one thing that Chanelle said. We had a really beautiful
Speaker 2: conversation around what happiness meant to her, and she said,
Speaker 2: happiness is loving and being loved. Lean in not a way,
Speaker 2: allow yourself to feel it, let it all wash over you, breathe,
Speaker 2: and surrender to it. Your experience of life in that
Speaker 2: moment will be more uncut, more pure and real than
Speaker 2: you've ever imagined possible. Ough, Honestly, our absolute hearts go
Speaker 2: out to Luke and to Smith and to Vogue and
Speaker 2: to every single one of you who have been touched
Speaker 2: by Chanelle's story. Now, there is another woman that we
Speaker 2: want to talk about on the beginning of today's episode
Speaker 2: before we get into answering your questions, and that is
Speaker 2: somebody else who is equally as powerful and fierce, Grace Tame.
Speaker 1: Oh, we need to talk about Grace Tame and what
Speaker 1: went down with her and Scottie Morrison at the Handover
Speaker 1: Awards of Australia of the year. So Grace, if you
Speaker 1: don't know, Grace was Australian of the Year last year,
Speaker 1: she did go to the ceremony on Tuesday night and
Speaker 1: that is the handover award for Australia of the Year. Now,
Speaker 1: Grace is a fierce advocate for sexual assault. She's a
Speaker 1: survivor of sexual assault. Please please go and do your
Speaker 1: research on Grace. If you haven't come across her yet,
Speaker 1: if you haven't come across her, everyone, so I would
Speaker 1: be gobsmacked because this woman has just moved mountains and
Speaker 1: she has just made such noise in the year that
Speaker 1: she I mean, she really took the opportunity of Australian
Speaker 1: of the Year to do good and she did make noise,
Speaker 1: and she did race a voice, and she put a
Speaker 1: lot of things into motion and a lot of changes
Speaker 1: to be made. She has been so vocal in advocating
Speaker 1: for victims of sexual assault and sexual abuse. And this
Speaker 1: year and last year has come at a time when
Speaker 1: Brittany Higgins and there's been the whole conversation around parliamentary
Speaker 1: and they're big swinging dicks and the insidious misogyny that
Speaker 1: has lived within our parliament and within government in Australia.
Speaker 1: But the reason there's so much talk on this, if
Speaker 1: you guys are wondering why we're even talking about it,
Speaker 1: is because the photos going around right now from her
Speaker 1: meeting with Scott Morrison out the front in Canberra. It's
Speaker 1: actually quite funny to look at. So Grace isn't a
Speaker 1: fan of Scott Morrison. That has been noted throughout the year,
Speaker 1: and that's for good reasons. You know, she doesn't agree
Speaker 1: with a lot of things that he has said and done,
Speaker 1: and when you look into that a little bit more,
Speaker 1: it's it's warranted. Let's put it that way. And we
Speaker 1: will get into that in another episode because it's there's
Speaker 1: so much to talk about in this But the reason
Speaker 1: these photos and videos are going viral if you haven't
Speaker 1: seen them, is because of the way Grace greeted Scott Morrison.
Speaker 1: Now there's one photo in particular where she is standing
Speaker 1: next to him. It is very cold, you can feel
Speaker 1: the ice, and she's giving him it looks like that
Speaker 1: cartoon dog, you know, the side eyed dog. She's giving
Speaker 1: him the most brutal so you've ever seen, and it
Speaker 1: has gone viral. This photo, this video is anyone's talking
Speaker 1: about and it's taken over the world and I'm to
Speaker 1: be honest, I'm here for it.
Speaker 2: I feel like everybody needs to enter twenty twenty two
Speaker 2: with the absolute fierce energy the Grace Tame entered meeting
Speaker 2: Scott Morrison. That this has come to the attention of media.
Speaker 2: It's also come to the attention of the Facebook group
Speaker 2: and it has been incredibly divisive.
Speaker 1: I think it's interesting.
Speaker 2: I saw some comments floating around in the Facebook group yesterday.
Speaker 2: The majority of people are in full support that Grace
Speaker 2: Tame shouldn't feel like she needs to be friendly to
Speaker 2: Scott Morrison just because he's the Prime Minister, especially when
Speaker 2: there's so many things that he's done during his term
Speaker 2: as Prime Minister that go against what she has been
Speaker 2: advocating for now.
Speaker 1: On the flip side to that, there has.
Speaker 2: Been people who think that the actions of her were
Speaker 2: petty or petulant or childish, and we really wanted to
Speaker 2: unpack where these thoughts come from and why is it
Speaker 2: that women are expected to behave in a certain way.
Speaker 1: One of those people that are on the bandwagon of
Speaker 1: Grace immaturely, and I say immaturely because that is a
Speaker 1: quote from the article is journalist Peter then on Selen,
Speaker 1: who writes for The Australian. He also co hosts sometimes
Speaker 1: on the Project, which he did last night. Now. The
Speaker 1: headline for The Australian that Peter wrote says, Grace tame
Speaker 1: If you're disdain for the PM is so great, why go?
Speaker 1: And the opening paragraph says, the footage of Grace Tamee
Speaker 1: meeting the Prime Minister at his residence in the nation's
Speaker 1: capital for a reception today was embarrassing for her. That is,
Speaker 1: she was ungracious, rude and childish, refusing to smile for
Speaker 1: the cameras, barely acknowledging his existence when standing next to him.
Speaker 1: The footage tells the story free of overstatement. He has
Speaker 1: literally called her rude and childish for refusing to smile.
Speaker 1: That is it now. If you watch this, Grace shakes
Speaker 1: his hand, he says hello to her, She says hello back.
Speaker 1: There is nothing that was childish about this behavior. The
Speaker 1: problem that he has this whole article that he's written,
Speaker 1: is saying that she should show some respect for Scott
Speaker 1: Morrison and she should have sat there and smiled, which
Speaker 1: essentially is a photo opportunity. The only problem is she
Speaker 1: didn't pretend to like somebody and enjoy a moment when
Speaker 1: she didn't actually like someone and enjoy the moment, and
Speaker 1: that is what she's been criticized for. I think it's
Speaker 1: pretty crazy that we've been conditioned in a lot of
Speaker 1: ways to think that women need to behave in a
Speaker 1: certain way. And I know that there's going to be
Speaker 1: people who listen to this who are like, oh God,
Speaker 1: here we go. We are expected as women to be
Speaker 1: nice and to be polite and to be friendly, and
Speaker 1: we are constantly told, Hey, why don't you just smile.
Speaker 2: In this instance. There has been so much that's happened
Speaker 2: in the past two years, especially in the last year
Speaker 2: with Britney Higgins, and directly that's been directly correlative to
Speaker 2: sexual assault and sexual violence against women. And this is
Speaker 2: what Grace's entire campaign as Australian of the Year has
Speaker 2: stood for. It would have been disingenuous of her to
Speaker 2: stand there and smile alongside Scott Morrison and pretend like
Speaker 2: she was enjoying the moment. That would have gone against
Speaker 2: everything that she stood for on her own social media,
Speaker 2: in the conversations that she's had with her own community.
Speaker 2: And so I feel like it should actually be commended
Speaker 2: and has been by a lot of the female led media.
Speaker 2: It should be commended that she has been absolutely authentic
Speaker 2: and stood behind and alongside what her feelings are towards
Speaker 2: him and the government he represents.
Speaker 1: Live on the project, Carrie Bigmore gave Peter a real
Speaker 1: dressing down. So Peter wrote the article that we're speaking
Speaker 1: about then he was on the project speaking about it now,
Speaker 1: he mentioned straight away the Grace acted childish, And this
Speaker 1: was Carrie's response in the article today, you spoke about
Speaker 1: how she acted as a child, you know, when she
Speaker 1: should have been able to act as a child when
Speaker 1: she was a child, only she was preyed upon by
Speaker 1: a man and lost parts of her childhood. Peter's response was, well,
Speaker 1: then she shouldn't go. If she's not going to show
Speaker 1: him any respect and she's going to be rude, she
Speaker 1: shouldn't go, which, in response, starts a whole other conversation.
Speaker 1: Why should we be silenced, Why should we be made
Speaker 1: to not be able to express our real feelings in
Speaker 1: a situation. She's still Australian of the Year, she still
Speaker 1: deserves to go, and she shouldn't have to not go.
Speaker 1: She should be able to go and if she's in
Speaker 1: an uncomfortable situation, she doesn't have to smile.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think there's a bigger question here around
Speaker 2: the fact that, like, just because somebody is in a
Speaker 2: position of power, does that mean that they're instantly entitled
Speaker 2: to respect Scott Morrison being the Donald Trump, well no,
Speaker 2: but like Scott Morrison being the Prime Minister, just because
Speaker 2: he's the Prime Minister, does that mean that somebody needs
Speaker 2: to respect him as a person if they don't believe
Speaker 2: in the policies and the way that he's behaved or
Speaker 2: the things that he's implemented whilst he's been in government.
Speaker 2: And I think the interesting thing about this as well
Speaker 2: is is if we can cast her mind back to
Speaker 2: January twenty twenty when the bushfires happened and there was
Speaker 2: a live stream of Scott Morrison. This is after he
Speaker 2: took a holiday whilst Australia was on fire. There is
Speaker 2: a live stream of him going and greeting with the
Speaker 2: fire brigade who were working and at the front line
Speaker 2: of the bushfires, and he reached out to shake the
Speaker 2: hand of one of the firefighters and one of the
Speaker 2: firefighters completely refused to shake his hand to the point
Speaker 2: where Scott Morrison grapp would and he continued to try
Speaker 2: and shake his hand, and.
Speaker 1: My solfwod thing you've ever seen, the most fucking awkward
Speaker 1: thing you have ever seen.
Speaker 2: No publication and nobody said anything negative about that firefighter.
Speaker 2: Nobody turned around and said how petulant or petty of
Speaker 2: him to not shake Scott Morrison's hand, and that they
Speaker 2: should treat Scott Morrison with respect. If anything, everybody was
Speaker 2: like commending the firefighter for making a very public statement
Speaker 2: around something that at the time everyone was angry about.
Speaker 2: Why is the opinion of mainstream media different when it
Speaker 2: comes to something like sexual assault.
Speaker 1: The hypocrisy really in Parliament of the way that men
Speaker 1: and women are treated, or men and women are treated
Speaker 1: in the public eye is sickening. It does not take
Speaker 1: a very deep dive. It takes one Google search for
Speaker 1: you to have a look at the way that women
Speaker 1: are treated in Parliament.
Speaker 2: There is one amazing photo as well, which we're going
Speaker 2: to put up in our social media for anybody who
Speaker 2: thinks it was shared in the Facebook group. But for
Speaker 2: anyone who thinks that maybe the way Grace behave is
Speaker 2: petulant and they want to draw a comparison here, you.
Speaker 1: Don't have a leg to stand on.
Speaker 2: There is an incredible photo of Scott Morrison can completely
Speaker 2: turning his back on Tanya Plibosec during her doing a
Speaker 2: speech and the absolute lack of respect in this photo
Speaker 2: is astounding. So I just want to put these up
Speaker 2: in our instagrams like a slide by slide for anybody
Speaker 2: who's sitting there going, oh, she shouldn't have done that.
Speaker 1: And you guys know, Laura and I are not overly
Speaker 1: political people. We never speak about politics on this podcast.
Speaker 1: We never have And the only reason that we're discussing
Speaker 1: this today is because it really really rubbed us the
Speaker 1: wrong way. We obviously do have a platform and we
Speaker 1: do support women, and this was something that just didn't
Speaker 1: sit right with us. And seen some of the comments,
Speaker 1: especially on the project last night, from people like Peter
Speaker 1: van on Selen, the article that he wrote, it just
Speaker 1: really really rubbed us the wrong way.
Speaker 2: So we did want to talk about it. Well, I mean,
Speaker 2: we don't talk about politics, but we talk about misogyny.
Speaker 2: We talk about internalized misogyny, which is where a lot
Speaker 2: of the views are coming from, and we talk about
Speaker 2: sexual assault and advocating for women. For anybody who has
Speaker 2: read the articles, the articles that have been written by
Speaker 2: men who were telling Grace Tame how she should or
Speaker 2: shouldn't behave, calling it childish or saying that it's undone
Speaker 2: the amazing work that she has done while she's been
Speaker 2: Australian of the Year really undermines who she is as
Speaker 2: a person and it really undermines what she has been
Speaker 2: through by telling her how she should or shouldn't behave.
Speaker 1: Please, if you get a hot second, have a Google
Speaker 1: of what went down on the project, because it was
Speaker 1: absolutely annihilation, fucking take down fire and it was so great.
Speaker 1: But I do want it was a takedown between Carrie
Speaker 1: Bickmore and political reporter Amy Remikuz, who was a guest
Speaker 1: she had like zoomed into the project and Peter Van Onsellen.
Speaker 1: Now it was brilliant to watch. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Speaker 1: It was a bit uncomfortable, but I can't stress enough
Speaker 1: how on these women's team that I was and I
Speaker 1: was like, yes, like fucking get a girl. I was like,
Speaker 1: take him down. I do want to just wrap this
Speaker 1: conversation with this grab from political reporter Amy Remikus, who
Speaker 1: is also a survivor of sexual assault.
Speaker 3: You were attempted to a police a woman who lost
Speaker 3: all agency as a child, where she was groomed and
Speaker 3: told how to behave, and she has since come out
Speaker 3: and made her entire adulthood about not behaving in the
Speaker 3: way that other people think that she should.
Speaker 4: That she's going to be true to herself.
Speaker 3: And because of the politics of civility, you wrote a
Speaker 3: column in the National masth heead slamming her for that.
Speaker 3: You said she shouldn't have gone.
Speaker 4: She has every right to be there, She has every
Speaker 4: right to show her feelings, and if she doesn't want
Speaker 4: to be part of a politically staged photo op, she
Speaker 4: doesn't have to smile to make other people feel better
Speaker 4: and not hurt their.
Speaker 1: Feelings anyway, Team, there is just such a bigger, deeper
Speaker 1: conversation to be had around this topic. It's not for
Speaker 1: a Thursday Ask guncut, but we just felt like we
Speaker 1: couldn't let this day go path without talking about what happened.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, and we have been sitting on a conversation around
Speaker 2: the way women are portrayed in media and the way
Speaker 2: that the conversation around women has had when it comes
Speaker 2: to headlines when it comes to paparazzi photos.
Speaker 1: So I feel like the time is almost calm.
Speaker 2: But anyway, let's get into our ar ask uncut questions.
Speaker 1: Okay, guys, A question number one? How does it work
Speaker 1: if you move in with your boyfriend and his friends,
Speaker 1: but then you break up in the middle of your lease?
Speaker 1: How do you split the rent if I were to
Speaker 1: move out? Do all housemates take on a little extra
Speaker 1: rent so that my boyfriend doesn't have to pay double?
Speaker 1: Or do I have to keep paying even if I
Speaker 1: move out? This is such a good question.
Speaker 2: I wonder if she's wanting to break up with her
Speaker 2: boyfriend who she currently lives with, or she's just forward
Speaker 2: thinking and they're going to move in together and take
Speaker 2: on this like, you know, year long lease, and she's like,
Speaker 2: what the fuck do I do?
Speaker 1: Well, it's almost like a hypothetical because she's like, how
Speaker 1: does it work if you move in with your boyfriend
Speaker 1: and his friends but then you break up in the middle.
Speaker 1: She hasn't said she's done it, but I think she has,
Speaker 1: or she's about to break up with him. Okay, it's
Speaker 1: not a gray area, and it is a gray area.
Speaker 2: I think it's not a grey area in that if
Speaker 2: you're the one who wants to break your lease, you
Speaker 2: have to pay for all the breaking the lease stuff, right,
Speaker 2: But if they want to stay in the house, So
Speaker 2: if you say to your boyfriend, hey, I'm I don't
Speaker 2: want to be with you anymore, circumstances have changed, sayanas
Speaker 2: whatever it is, see later.
Speaker 1: Ba wyoahala, see later, lover.
Speaker 2: If you want to be the one to leave and
Speaker 2: you give him that notice and he chooses to stay there,
Speaker 2: then that's kind of on him to figure out how
Speaker 2: to do it. However, if you tell him that you
Speaker 2: need to leave and then there's the situation where they
Speaker 2: are not able to pay rent, then I think that
Speaker 2: you mostly have to contribute to the breaking of the
Speaker 2: lease fees. Like that's like the big one. The only
Speaker 2: thing that I think you do have to do is
Speaker 2: you have to give them some notice. Like you can't
Speaker 2: just be like I'm leaving, I don't love you anymore
Speaker 2: and then stop paying rent.
Speaker 1: No, you can say I'm leaving I don't love you,
Speaker 1: but you still have to pay rent for like three weeks.
Speaker 1: I think it's twenty one days. There is never a
Speaker 1: time I want to reiterate this. There's never a time
Speaker 1: or a situation where you have to stay in a relationship.
Speaker 1: There is always an out. If you don't want it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter because you signed it on a line on
Speaker 1: a lease for twelve months, that doesn't matter. Do you
Speaker 1: morally have to do the right thing by a partner, Yes,
Speaker 1: and unless if it's an amical breakup, unless there's something
Speaker 1: horrific that has gone down. But if you've just decided
Speaker 1: you've fall down of love and the relationship's not right,
Speaker 1: which it sounds like is exactly what has happened with
Speaker 1: this girl, then yes, this is what I suggest you do.
Speaker 1: I suggest you break up with your partner. You say,
Speaker 1: I just don't think it's working anymore. I'm not happy here,
Speaker 1: I'm not comfortable. I love that you're giving her the
Speaker 1: breakup tips as well. I am not just the rental tips.
Speaker 1: I suggest you say it it's not you, it's me.
Speaker 1: See him down. No, So you do the nice thing
Speaker 1: and always, if you can, always do it amicably, like
Speaker 1: I just can't stress that enough. If the situation allows
Speaker 1: for an amical breakup, tell him that you're not happy
Speaker 1: and you're gonna leave. But I would also suggest making
Speaker 1: sure you've got somewhere to go before you do that,
Speaker 1: just in case shit hits the fan. You say, look,
Speaker 1: the normal term is twenty one days three weeks, so
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you that much notice, and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: pay rent until then. Even if I'm not here. You
Speaker 1: can either move out if you can't afford it. You've
Speaker 1: got plenty of time to find somewhere else if he
Speaker 1: actually wants to move out, meaning that the two of
Speaker 1: you are breaking the lease. The responsibility for the lease
Speaker 1: payment break is yours. You have started that, you have
Speaker 1: instigated that situation, so I would think that that is
Speaker 1: on you.
Speaker 2: The only thing that's like not actually technically correct in
Speaker 2: that information is the twenty one days only applies if
Speaker 2: you're outside your lease terms. So if you're on a
Speaker 2: year lease, if you signed a year lease with someone contractually,
Speaker 2: you have to pay a year's worth of lease or
Speaker 2: you pay a fee, which is a breaking your lease fee.
Speaker 2: And I'm pretty sure if you're a real estate agent
Speaker 2: you can come at me if I get this wrong.
Speaker 2: But I've done this with the next boyfriend, so I
Speaker 2: feel like it might still be correct. You have to
Speaker 2: pay all the advertising fees until they get the place
Speaker 2: relisted and they get it refilled, which hopefully you live
Speaker 2: in Sydney, it'll be filled in five days, and you
Speaker 2: pay breaking the lease fee. Then you pay for the
Speaker 2: advertising costs, and it might end up being like two
Speaker 2: months worth of rent or something, but it's an additional
Speaker 2: amount of money. What I can say, though, is is
Speaker 2: not up to the other housemates to throw in more
Speaker 2: money to compensate for your leaving. Absolutely, I think it's
Speaker 2: not up to the housemates to pay for more money.
Speaker 2: But also you're not responsible for what they decide. If
Speaker 2: you say I'm leaving, I'm willing to pay for the
Speaker 2: breaking the lease, I'm willing to pay for the X
Speaker 2: amount of weeks up front, then it's on them. If
Speaker 2: the three of them that are left in the house
Speaker 2: can't afford the rent without you and they all have
Speaker 2: to move, then you pay the break the lease and
Speaker 2: they all have to move. Yes, it's fucking annoying, and
Speaker 2: that it's very they might be really angry at you.
Speaker 1: Whatever, Okay, you never gonna see hm again.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's totally not your responsibility, and especially if your
Speaker 2: partner wants to stay there, it's not your responsibility to
Speaker 2: continue to pay for the next, you know, a year
Speaker 2: and a half just because he wants to live in
Speaker 2: the house with his mates. Like, it's a really unfortunate situation.
Speaker 2: It is going to affect a lot of people. But
Speaker 2: there are definitely ways to manage a mitigator breakup. And
Speaker 2: I think especially when you're living with your partner's friends.
Speaker 2: And on top of that what brit said, and I
Speaker 2: think it's like the most important thing is, like, never
Speaker 2: stay in a relationship that you're unhappy with just because
Speaker 2: you're worried about how you're going to figure out the financials,
Speaker 2: so you to figure out the way that it's going
Speaker 2: to work, Like it's really important to either put some
Speaker 2: savings away or to get yourself sorted before you make
Speaker 2: that decision, so that you're not feeling like you're completely
Speaker 2: destitute or you don't have anywhere to move to, or
Speaker 2: you're trying to pay two rents.
Speaker 1: Do you think we cover that? I feel like we
Speaker 1: did get out. Have you ever lived with an ex
Speaker 1: and his friends? No, I've never really lived in a
Speaker 1: group house. When I lived with my ex, I just
Speaker 1: lived with him and I bought a house together. We
Speaker 1: lived there another ex was just he and I overseas. Yeah, like,
Speaker 1: I've never actually lived in a group environment. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: like it for me personally. I don't want to be
Speaker 1: in these environments where there's so many people come in
Speaker 1: and going all the time. I like my private place
Speaker 1: with my partner to be my private place.
Speaker 2: My first boyfriend, who I was with for six years,
Speaker 2: we always lived in like group share houses with him,
Speaker 2: But then I had a very similar situation to this
Speaker 2: where we had left our group house. We'd moved in together,
Speaker 2: and we moved into a one bedroom with a tiny
Speaker 2: little like separate study. I guess it was we just
Speaker 2: signed the lease when three weeks after we signed the lease,
Speaker 2: he decided he didn't want to be with me anymore,
Speaker 2: so that I was left with the entire house and
Speaker 2: had to break the lease and everything.
Speaker 1: And but that that goes against everything. We just said
Speaker 1: that she's you're responsibility, That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: The responsibility was on me to try and figure it
Speaker 2: out because I was the one left in the house.
Speaker 2: He still paid and contributed to it, but not for
Speaker 2: an entire year. He paid and contributed to it for
Speaker 2: a short period of time, which gave me enough time
Speaker 2: to figure out my next move. But you can't expect
Speaker 2: someone to pay for an entire year if they're not
Speaker 2: living in the house.
Speaker 1: Absolutely not. Okay, let's get into question number two. Okay,
Speaker 1: Question number two is a really funny one. We've never
Speaker 1: had a question like this before.
Speaker 4: Hi. There.
Speaker 1: I recently went inside a good friend's house after a
Speaker 1: day out rather than stay for a quick cuppa or
Speaker 1: a beverage before going home. I had to decline and
Speaker 1: make an excuse because her house smelled as though twenty
Speaker 1: elephants had been urinating throughout it for a very long time.
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, I know. So we walked in. The house stunk.
Speaker 1: She said nothing. The last time I went there it
Speaker 1: did not smell at all. It was just pretty normal.
Speaker 1: The stench was gag worthy. My question is do I
Speaker 1: say to my friend, what the fuck? Why does your
Speaker 1: house wreak of piss? And just be straight up? I
Speaker 1: don't want to go back inside there ever? Again, that
Speaker 1: is how bad it smelled. I just don't understand, so
Speaker 1: do I say something? I did notice that she had
Speaker 1: birds in a cage inside. I'm not even sure if
Speaker 1: they were there the last time I went there, but
Speaker 1: maybe it's the birds. I'm absolutely repulsed. Can I tell
Speaker 1: my friend that her house absolutely stinks to the point
Speaker 1: that no one wants to come over, or do I
Speaker 1: just not go back and pretend it didn't happen.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's absolutely the birds. It's one hundred
Speaker 2: percent of gotta be the birds. Yeah, your friend's not
Speaker 2: just pissing in the corner.
Speaker 1: It's the birds. I think you can't tell her now. No,
Speaker 1: you had to tell her when you were there.
Speaker 2: You had to when teller, I feel like it's when
Speaker 2: you walk into the house, You're like, whoa, you really
Speaker 2: need to change the paper in the bird's cage or whatever.
Speaker 2: I used to have a cat, and I like, if
Speaker 2: you didn't clean the kitty litter out frequently enough, it
Speaker 2: would stink. My friends would always tell me. They'd be like,
Speaker 2: you need to clean that kitty litter, and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I do. I'm fucking lazy and I shouldn't have a cat.
Speaker 1: I think, tell her. And the reason I say tell
Speaker 1: her is because your first line of this question was
Speaker 1: I recently went inside a good friend's house. If she's
Speaker 1: a good friend like Laura, if I walked inside your
Speaker 1: house and it's stunk of shit, of piers. I feel
Speaker 1: like you have walked inside my house and it's stunk
Speaker 1: of shit before, Like I would keep both in nappies.
Speaker 1: You don't have to be true, but I mean, I
Speaker 1: guess because we're good friends, i'd be like, whoa the
Speaker 1: fuck is that? Spell like saying die in here. I
Speaker 1: think he can say that. Then I think he could
Speaker 1: walk over to the bird cage and be like, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, girl, it's the birds. You need to change
Speaker 1: that paper. I think you just say that, but you
Speaker 1: don't have to say I'm never coming over to your
Speaker 1: house again. If it smells like this, maybe she's like
Speaker 1: really used to the smell because she lives in at
Speaker 1: twenty four seven, and she doesn't actually know that it's
Speaker 1: that bad.
Speaker 2: That's so bad, though, imagine if you just lived in
Speaker 2: the stench of bird you ryan, and you didn't even know.
Speaker 1: Well, evidently she's that's what she's doing. Maybe she had
Speaker 1: COVID and she lost her smell and taste. Maybe she
Speaker 1: doesn't know how bad it is.
Speaker 2: With the numbers that are happening right now, it's very
Speaker 2: fucking possible. But also I think On top of this,
Speaker 2: if you've been to her house before and it doesn't
Speaker 2: normally smell like that, it's not as big a deal.
Speaker 1: I think, don't rule out ever going there again.
Speaker 2: Maybe she shun't. Yeah, like, go there again and see
Speaker 2: and if it is just as bad, be like, well, babe,
Speaker 2: something really smells in this house. I don't know if
Speaker 2: you can smell it. Let's figure out what it is
Speaker 2: and do it as though you're helping her out. But
Speaker 2: to me, it just sounds like she's, you know, a
Speaker 2: little bit lazy when it comes to cleaning up the birdcage.
Speaker 1: Yeah, or maybe walk in and just be like, well,
Speaker 1: you need to open a window, get some fresh air
Speaker 1: in there, or just like send her an anonymous gift
Speaker 1: of like incense or a diffuser or something just like
Speaker 1: knock and run at the door.
Speaker 2: Maybe the less passive aggressive ones. I mean, I just
Speaker 2: think like with all these sorts of things, things that
Speaker 2: are uncomfortable, usually it makes us more uncomfortable than it
Speaker 2: makes the other person. Like if you've got shit in
Speaker 2: your teeth, I would rather than someone tell me that
Speaker 2: they've got stuff in my teeth. Anyone would any strangers,
Speaker 2: anyone would rather be told than to have someone stand
Speaker 2: there and stare at them and just like not tell
Speaker 2: them one hundred per The worst thing, you know, when
Speaker 2: you've been talking to somebody and you walk home, You
Speaker 2: walk in, look in the mirror and you're like, what
Speaker 2: the fuck, I've got something on my face, I've got
Speaker 2: burp in my face, I got something in my teeth.
Speaker 1: Why how embarrassing. You would much rather someone said to
Speaker 1: you in the middle of a conversation or you've just
Speaker 1: got something there and you're like, oh, thanks, and then
Speaker 1: you continue the conversation, and that's not embarrassing. That is
Speaker 1: not awkward. It's more awkward to ignore the fact. Go home,
Speaker 1: and then you.
Speaker 2: Realize sometimes like when people have things in their teeth
Speaker 2: though I just don't like I notice it and I
Speaker 2: clock it, but I like, I don't care about it,
Speaker 2: Like I don't care that they have something caught in
Speaker 2: their teeth, so I don't.
Speaker 1: Tell them, so I forget.
Speaker 2: And then they're like, dude, you've just been talking to
Speaker 2: me and I had this in my teeth, and I
Speaker 2: was like, yeah, I know. I just genuinely didn't care. Sorry,
Speaker 2: like I'm and I don't mean.
Speaker 1: Like I don't care as in like, well, now I'm
Speaker 1: never gonna trust you.
Speaker 2: I just mean, like it factors so far down on
Speaker 2: the things that I think is like a worry, like
Speaker 2: I noticed it, but like I was like, oh, it's fine.
Speaker 1: It's just if I had a whole piece of kale
Speaker 1: hanging out of my front teeth, I would expect you
Speaker 1: to do I expect you don't. Okay.
Speaker 2: But here's the other question, all right, And I think
Speaker 2: that this might be like a good comparison for this question.
Speaker 2: If your friend, your good friend had bad bo, would
Speaker 2: you tell them?
Speaker 1: I mean, I haven't told you yet.
Speaker 2: Usually I'm not that walks in here and I'm like,
Speaker 2: I have VEO, where's your jodorant?
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know where it is? I was like,
Speaker 1: just gon't get but would you tell them? Like if
Speaker 1: you came to my house and you had bad BO?
Speaker 1: I think I would tell you. Yeah, And I think
Speaker 1: that's fine. Chances that I probably know, I'd probably like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember a run. I think it's different if it's
Speaker 1: a stranger.
Speaker 2: I think there's some things when it comes to personal
Speaker 2: hygiene and whatnot, like it's not your responsibility to impart
Speaker 2: that knowledge on someone who you don't have a close
Speaker 2: connection with or friendship with. But if it's a friend,
Speaker 2: I don't think there should be the apprehension to say, like, oh, hey, Haun,
Speaker 2: you should put on some deodorant.
Speaker 1: I would know. I wouldn't say it if it was
Speaker 1: once off. If like, if you just came in and
Speaker 1: you smell that day, I'd be like, really bad, It
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. I'd be actually had a tough day. I'll
Speaker 1: let us, I'll let her fly. But if it was
Speaker 1: actually a thing that was affecting your life and your
Speaker 1: personal hygiene, if every time I was around you you
Speaker 1: stunk and you didn't know, I would say something. I'd
Speaker 1: be like you, like, FYI you probably need to change
Speaker 1: your genderant because you know that's also a thing. You know,
Speaker 1: like you get used to a type of Jyoda and
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden you feel like it doesn't
Speaker 1: work anymore and you've got to change brands. Oh you
Speaker 1: got to go from a roll onto a spray. Like
Speaker 1: it's always the natural ones that get you. You think
Speaker 1: that there work. I don't he need some maliminium in
Speaker 1: your skin. You need to clog that sit in a botox.
Speaker 1: You're under arm let's get into the next question. Okay,
Speaker 1: question number three, this one, I feel like, Laura, you
Speaker 1: are going and coming home. It's going to be pretty
Speaker 1: easy to answer. Girls, How do I say I love you?
Speaker 1: I have been with my partner over a year now
Speaker 1: and we've never said I love you, And trust me,
Speaker 1: I do love him. I think he whispered it during
Speaker 1: sex ones, but with my with my poor hearing, I
Speaker 1: questioned it and I was like, what did you to say?
Speaker 1: But he didn't answer, does I love you during sex
Speaker 1: count I can't even be sure it happened. I feel
Speaker 1: like we've waited so long to say it, and now
Speaker 1: it's just too awkward. I'm introverted, so I can't just
Speaker 1: blurt it out. Oh bless, it's fucking hard. I remember
Speaker 1: the first I ever told someone I love them. I
Speaker 1: was like, I love you? How told you?
Speaker 2: I old you?
Speaker 1: Think of my twenties. I remember when one of my
Speaker 1: boyfriends said I love you really. It was probably like
Speaker 1: five weeks in and I didn't love him. I remember
Speaker 1: with it. I remember, like I remember vividly, was standing
Speaker 1: out the front of my house. He was driving back
Speaker 1: to Sydney. Did you say it back? He said? All right,
Speaker 1: well I'll let you know when I get back. And
Speaker 1: I said, okay, drive safe and he said I love
Speaker 1: you and I said thank you. It's like you're on
Speaker 1: the Bachelor all over again. I was like thank you.
Speaker 1: And then it was like I just wanted to sink
Speaker 1: into the ground and I was like, well, safe, drive
Speaker 1: and just like ran inside because I was put on
Speaker 1: the spot and I didn't feel it. But having said that,
Speaker 1: Jordan told me he loved me probably the same amount
Speaker 1: of time in probably only four or five weeks, and
Speaker 1: I reciprocated it because I was in a different place
Speaker 1: and I felt it. I really feel for you to
Speaker 1: have been a year deep with your partner that you
Speaker 1: love and you feel like you can't say it, but
Speaker 1: I can guarantee you if you say it, he's gonna
Speaker 1: say it back. Like you were together for a year,
Speaker 1: you think he's already and you love him. For me,
Speaker 1: when I'm in love, I want to shout it from
Speaker 1: the rooftops and I want to tell my partner. I
Speaker 1: so she wants to shout it on a podcast, But
Speaker 1: I would say it. Once I'm at that point and
Speaker 1: I'm saying I love you, I would say it twenty
Speaker 1: times a day, and I don't want it to lose meaning.
Speaker 1: But i'd be like, hey, just going for a walk,
Speaker 1: I'll be back, see and love you. Like I would
Speaker 1: just throw it, and at the start it's obviously way
Speaker 1: more meaningful. You have your moment, and I think for
Speaker 1: you you're a year deep. Maybe next time after you
Speaker 1: have sex, if you don't want to blurt it out,
Speaker 1: which is what you've said, maybe when you're having your
Speaker 1: moment in bed or you're having a cuddle, you could
Speaker 1: just say something like there's something I wanted to tell
Speaker 1: you for a long time. He's going to know what
Speaker 1: it is. You can ease into the conversation. Do you
Speaker 1: think it should be a sex thing? Though? I think
Speaker 1: that makes it easn to be.
Speaker 2: I feel like saying I love you for the first
Speaker 2: time during sex, like it's powerful one hundred percent. It's
Speaker 2: like it's so intimate and intense. But for an introvert,
Speaker 2: maybe it's too intense.
Speaker 1: No, you don't do midpump but like pump up sex
Speaker 1: love you come in love you whilst you're staring in
Speaker 1: the eyes. But even like the staring in their eyes
Speaker 1: and the whispering of like I love you. No, it's
Speaker 1: the after where you're just in bed, hanging out and
Speaker 1: cuddling and you're having that moment the endorphins are high,
Speaker 1: like the love is high, the feelings are high, you're close,
Speaker 1: it's intimate. I think that's when you say it. I
Speaker 1: think that's when you'd be more comfortable. You're not gonna
Speaker 1: be stuck in the dishwasher and be like, hey babe,
Speaker 1: pass me that play. Love you well? Do you have
Speaker 1: a better moment? One hundred percent? It's a better moment,
Speaker 1: do you Okay? Is it weird?
Speaker 2: Just like if you're sitting on the couch having a
Speaker 2: cuddle or something, being more like, there's something I've been
Speaker 2: thinking about and I've wanted to say it to you
Speaker 2: for a long time, but I feel like we kind
Speaker 2: of missed the moment a little bit.
Speaker 1: Well, see you just said literally word for what I said.
Speaker 1: But I think the better point to do it is
Speaker 1: when the endorphins are high and you're cuddling after sex
Speaker 1: than when you're on the lounge like that's what I think.
Speaker 1: I think that that for me is the moment where
Speaker 1: you're like, you do feel that connection, You've just had
Speaker 1: a really close, intimate moment, but it's not happening anymore.
Speaker 1: You chill, everyone's relax. I just think it's a really
Speaker 1: nice vibe, and for an introvert, I feel like that's
Speaker 1: when it's going to be easier.
Speaker 2: I don't know, I mean, Okay, you feel like we've
Speaker 2: not given you any advice on this. We take actually
Speaker 2: also take Bing's advice because I've not said I love
Speaker 2: you for the first time for a long time, and
Speaker 2: when I did say it to Matt, it was after
Speaker 2: you said it to me on The Bachelor, on the show.
Speaker 2: I think that sometimes we can get in our heads
Speaker 2: about saying I love you, and we can build it
Speaker 2: up to be a really frightening thing, and I think
Speaker 2: sometimes step away from what those words are. They're very meaningful,
Speaker 2: they're very important. But if your feelings are already there,
Speaker 2: if you guys, have already made those commitments in all
Speaker 2: your actions and in all the other ways that you
Speaker 2: express that you love each other, I think that the
Speaker 2: more that you put it off and the more that
Speaker 2: you stress about it, the harder it's going to be.
Speaker 2: The first time you say it's going to be the
Speaker 2: most awkward and the most like exhilarating and then it's
Speaker 2: going to get easier and easier.
Speaker 1: And he's a beautiful thing. If you feel it, say it.
Speaker 1: But it is like love is a beauty, it is such.
Speaker 1: It's the love is the best feeling in like the
Speaker 1: entire world. And I can't imagine what it's like for
Speaker 1: you to have felt that bursting from you for a year. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: and I feel like you can express it. Does she
Speaker 1: make eye contact at the time? I mean, you don't
Speaker 1: have to if you're an introvert, and that's hard. The
Speaker 1: other thing you can do is write him a love
Speaker 1: note if you want, but give it to him probably
Speaker 1: when you're still there to talk about because he can
Speaker 1: read it. Maybe he can put it down on paper.
Speaker 1: He can read it, and he'll look up at you
Speaker 1: and he'll say something like, oh my gosh, really, and
Speaker 1: then it takes the stress away. But there are so
Speaker 1: many different ways.
Speaker 2: Would you ever send it in a text message first
Speaker 2: and be like that, this is like never break up
Speaker 2: with someone, never tell them I love you. Would you
Speaker 2: send a text message first? Or ever be like, Hey,
Speaker 2: I've been thinking about this for a while and I've
Speaker 2: found it really hard to say it.
Speaker 1: So I wanted to send it to you. I really
Speaker 1: love you. I mean technically, the first time Jordan and
Speaker 1: I had said it to each other was when I
Speaker 1: had told my really really good friend, my best friend,
Speaker 1: I had messaged him and said, he was like, how
Speaker 1: is everything going? And I messaged him and I said,
Speaker 1: I love him, like I'm in love with him. Jordan
Speaker 1: saw that text and that is what opened our conversation.
Speaker 1: He saw the text of me saying that I I
Speaker 1: was in love with him, and then that opened the conversation.
Speaker 1: But technically he said it first. From that, I would
Speaker 1: not advise texting your partner of a year saying you
Speaker 1: love him for the first time. I think you guys
Speaker 1: are passed that. I think that it's a beautiful thing,
Speaker 1: and I think you're overthinking it now. Like Laura said,
Speaker 1: you've waited a year the anticipation and something gonna get worse.
Speaker 1: Do not wait another year, Like you need to pull
Speaker 1: that trigger totally.
Speaker 2: And I think you'll be so surprised, like he'll say
Speaker 2: it back and you'll have a beautiful moment and then
Speaker 2: you say it all the time, and then you'll have
Speaker 2: sex again if you had just had sex, or maybe
Speaker 2: you'll have it again.
Speaker 1: For the first time.
Speaker 2: Who fucking knows, but it's gonna be great. I do
Speaker 2: empathize with this though, because I do know and understand
Speaker 2: how nerve wracking it is the first time you say it.
Speaker 2: But I think it's nerve racking because you're scared that
Speaker 2: they're not going to say it back.
Speaker 1: That's where the nerves come from. The nerves come from
Speaker 1: in the early days when you're like, what if they're
Speaker 1: not there yet? But God, you know he's there, Like
Speaker 1: he is there for you so that you've got nothing
Speaker 1: to worry about all the trigger. But also tell us
Speaker 1: how that all went as well. Tell us if you
Speaker 1: did at the end of sex or if you did
Speaker 1: it on the lounge. We want to know who's worked better. Anyway, guys,
Speaker 1: that is it from us and ask gun Cut and
Speaker 1: we'll be back next week with us. So actually that's
Speaker 1: a lie. We'll be back on Saturday with our radio show.
Speaker 1: I forgot we do that.
Speaker 2: Oh, we come to you three times a week now,
Speaker 2: it's never ending. We're always here in your ears giving
Speaker 2: you the content.
Speaker 1: Keep sliding into the DMS with your ask gun cuts.
Speaker 1: We absolutely love them. We also want your accidentally unfiltered
Speaker 1: stories because you know we froth those. Also send us
Speaker 1: your confessionals too, your confessionals or anything funny. Also, if
Speaker 1: there's anyone that in particular that you want us to
Speaker 1: speak to, we love those recommendations as well. So all
Speaker 1: on lipepun Cut podcasts on the Instagram. If you haven't
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