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Speaker 1: When you're stuck in the negative mindset. People love to

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Speaker 1: say just think positive, but what does that actually mean

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Speaker 1: and what are some actual constructive ways that we can

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Speaker 1: turn our negative thoughts into positive ones. Sarah Grinberg is

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Speaker 1: a close friend of mine who realized that she was

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Speaker 1: utterly burned out and over it despite all the external

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Speaker 1: signs of achievement in her life. So she decided to

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Speaker 1: make some changes. She quit her job as the EP

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Speaker 1: on one of the most popular breakfast radio shows in Australia,

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Speaker 1: and now Sarah is the host of.

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Speaker 2: The chart topping podcast.

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Speaker 1: A Life of Greatness, as well as a mindset coach

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Speaker 1: and author of the book Living a Life of Greatness.

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Speaker 1: Strategies to adjust your mindset and perspective are right up

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Speaker 1: Sarah's allie, so I was honored to have her on

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Speaker 1: to share her experience with us. Welcome to How I Work,

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Speaker 1: a show about habits, rituals and strategies for optimizing your day.

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Speaker 1: I'm your host, doctor Amantha Imber. As you might expect,

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Speaker 1: you can't just suddenly start changing a negative outlook on

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Speaker 1: life by snapping your fingers.

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Speaker 2: So where do you start?

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Speaker 1: According to Sarah, the first step is to become consciously aware.

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Speaker 3: I really started. The first thing was becoming consciously aware.

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Speaker 3: So before that I was completely unconscious, as most of

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Speaker 3: us are because we.

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Speaker 2: Don't understand what being conscious is.

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Speaker 3: And I started to watch my mind because there's this

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Speaker 3: beautiful quote by the Sufi poet Roomy which says, why

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Speaker 3: do you keep yourself in jail when the door is open?

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Speaker 2: And that was my life.

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Speaker 3: My mind would make me so sad Amantha, even though

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Speaker 3: nothing bad had happened, and you know that happens a lot,

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Speaker 3: because you know, for me, I came from a family

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Speaker 3: of worriers, and they worried because they just wanted good

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Speaker 3: things and for you to be okay. But when you

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Speaker 3: grow up around people who are always worrying, you take

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Speaker 3: that on too. But everything can be changed, right, So

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Speaker 3: I would always worry about things. And the first thing

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Speaker 3: that I did was try and change my thought patterns,

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Speaker 3: and that made a huge difference in my life. I

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Speaker 3: became very conscious about what I was thinking, about what

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Speaker 3: I was saying, and my actions too.

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Speaker 1: How do you change your thoughts?

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Speaker 3: So once we have a negative thought, it's very hard

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Speaker 3: to change that. But the way that we can disrupt

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Speaker 3: that thought is by moving to the better feeling thought.

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Speaker 3: I'm a mindset coach, and so I teach a lot

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Speaker 3: of my clients as this. We have I think it's

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Speaker 3: something like sixty five seventy thousand thoughts a day or

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Speaker 3: something like that. Eighty percent of those are negative and

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Speaker 3: ninety five percent of those are repetitive. So if you're

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Speaker 3: having negative thoughts, most of them are the same thoughts

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Speaker 3: every day, right, So learning how to change those thoughts

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Speaker 3: is very helpful. Think about something that brings you joy

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Speaker 3: or brings you love in your life. So it might

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Speaker 3: be your dog, or a person, or even a destination,

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Speaker 3: whatever it is, have the knowledge in your mind of

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Speaker 3: what that thing that brings you love and joy is.

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Speaker 2: And let's take the example of a dog. You think

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Speaker 2: of your dog brings you love and joy.

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Speaker 3: Every time that negative thought comes up, you immediately move

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Speaker 3: to the better feeling thought of thinking about your dog.

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Speaker 3: When you start doing this, you could be doing this

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Speaker 3: like sixty seventy times a day the more you do it, and.

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Speaker 2: It'll only work if you keep doing this. The more

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Speaker 2: that the brain and we know.

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Speaker 3: This from neuroplasticity, starts to rewire itself, the more it

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Speaker 3: starts to rewire itself into having those better feeling thoughts

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Speaker 3: and not the negative thoughts. And the more you do it,

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Speaker 3: the more the negative thoughts stop happening, and the more

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Speaker 3: the better feeling thoughts start. If you get into a situation,

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Speaker 3: which a lot of us do, and I still get

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Speaker 3: into situations like this two thirty in the morning, wide awake,

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Speaker 3: the rumination starts happening. Oh my god, I got that email.

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Speaker 3: Did they mean this? They probably meant the worst thing

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Speaker 3: in the world. Oh my god, it's going to end

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Speaker 3: up being X, Y and Z. I'm going to lose

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Speaker 3: my house. I'm going to you know, like the worst

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Speaker 3: thoughts come at that time, right, So this is a

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Speaker 3: great way of being able to help that rumination. The

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Speaker 3: first thing you do is you look at the thought

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Speaker 3: and say, the thought was Sally doesn't like me.

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Speaker 2: So you test the thought. Do you know for sure

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Speaker 2: that Sally doesn't like you?

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Speaker 3: Ninety percent of the time, I promise you will not

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Speaker 3: know for sure that Sally doesn't like you.

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Speaker 2: So that's the first thing.

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Speaker 3: When we start questioning the negative thought, it alleviates any stress.

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Speaker 3: The second thing is external and internal levels of control.

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Speaker 3: If you know, for sure that Sally doesn't like you

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Speaker 3: external levels of control, Can you do something about it?

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Speaker 2: Quite possibly, you could.

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Speaker 3: Go and talk to her and speak to her about

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Speaker 3: the feelings that you think that she has.

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Speaker 2: Maybe you could write her an email, whatever it is.

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Speaker 3: So then that alleviates that if there is nothing you

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Speaker 3: can do in the knowledge of Sally not liking you,

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Speaker 3: and that's really upsetting you, we go to the next step,

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Speaker 3: which is the acceptance. The acceptance of the fact that

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Speaker 3: Sally doesn't like me, and there's nothing that I can do,

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Speaker 3: but I'm going to accept that and move on. And

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Speaker 3: then every time that comes up, I move to that

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Speaker 3: better feeling thought.

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Speaker 2: So those habits.

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Speaker 3: And using that has absolutely changed my life.

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Speaker 2: How do you catch those thoughts?

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Speaker 1: I must say, I'm reminded of a quote that you

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Speaker 1: put in your book based on one of your podcast guests,

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Speaker 1: Marissa Pierre, and she said that as little as four

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Speaker 1: percent of our worries will ever yeah shape, which blew

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Speaker 1: my mind but also really resonated. How do you catch

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Speaker 1: yourself when you're in that worrying or catastrophizing state, whether

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Speaker 1: that be at two thirty in the morning or just

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Speaker 1: one roundom afternoon.

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Speaker 2: I have to say that.

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Speaker 3: Mark Twain, I think it was him, also said I've

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Speaker 3: had so many worries in the world, none which have

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Speaker 3: ever come curious.

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Speaker 2: I love that, you know.

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Speaker 3: And I remember having a conversation with someone and they

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Speaker 3: said I had mentioned that exact thing on a podcast

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Speaker 3: episode that I had done, and they said, it made

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Speaker 3: me feel so much better when you said that. So

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Speaker 3: you become consciously aware. If you're consciously aware, you were

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Speaker 3: always watching your thoughts. And when you're always watching your thoughts,

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Speaker 3: when you start worrying, you realize that you're worrying, and

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Speaker 3: then you use the techniques that I just started speaking about.

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Speaker 3: But another thing to also make sure of when we

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Speaker 3: talk about conscious awareness is being consciously aware of the.

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Speaker 2: Way that you talked about yourself.

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Speaker 3: You know, you might say to yourself, oh, I look

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Speaker 3: so awful in that I've put on wait and I

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Speaker 3: feel terrible, or I'm not good enough.

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Speaker 2: To get that job.

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Speaker 3: When we become conscious of that, we're able to change it.

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Speaker 3: A belief is just a thought you keep thinking, nothing

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Speaker 3: more so if you test that is it true?

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Speaker 2: And if you know that, why wouldn't you fill yourself

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Speaker 2: with better beliefs? Right?

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Speaker 3: A belief is just a thought you keep thinking. I

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Speaker 3: might believe this about myself something negative. Doesn't mean Amantha

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Speaker 3: thinks that about me. It's just a belief that I have,

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Speaker 3: and knowing that alleviates so much stress.

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Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed this little quick win with Sarah.

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Speaker 1: If you'd like to listen to the full interview, you

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Speaker 1: can find a link to that in the show notes.

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Speaker 1: If you like today's show, make sure you git follow

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Speaker 1: on your podcast app to be alerted when new episodes drop.

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Speaker 1: How I Work was recorded on the traditional land of

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Speaker 1: the Warrangery People, part of the Cooler Nation