WEBVTT - Ask Uncut - She Cheated With Her Second Cousin

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<v Speaker 1>Life on Cut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose

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<v Speaker 1>lands were never seated. We pay our respects to their

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<v Speaker 1>elders past and present.

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<v Speaker 2>Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was

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<v Speaker 2>recorded on gaddigal Land. Hi guys, and welcome back to

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<v Speaker 2>another episode of Life Uncut.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm Laura, I'm Brittany.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm still so excited to be back. It feels

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<v Speaker 1>so weird.

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<v Speaker 3>I know, I mean, it's my.

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<v Speaker 1>Second episode back, but I can't believe how much I

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<v Speaker 1>missed you guys, Like shop was it when you said, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>do we do our vibes first?

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<v Speaker 3>All the questions like it's my first day of school.

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<v Speaker 1>My brain has actually switched off. Oh my god.

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<v Speaker 3>I felt like it was my first day of school today.

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<v Speaker 1>Because we're in the new studios in the city and

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<v Speaker 1>I had to drive myself to work alone. So I

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<v Speaker 1>did a trial run with Laura on Monday.

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<v Speaker 3>I chauffeured both Brita and produce a Keisha into work

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<v Speaker 3>because I get lost in the city.

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<v Speaker 1>It was a new studio in the city, and I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, do you know what, pick up on our

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<v Speaker 1>first day.

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<v Speaker 3>It's easier. We'll catch up in the car, I'll follow

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<v Speaker 3>where to go.

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<v Speaker 1>So today I had like my lunchbox ready, I packed

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<v Speaker 1>some stuff, I packed my oats in the car, got

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<v Speaker 1>a coffee and I drove here and I felt like

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<v Speaker 1>it was my first day of school. And then when

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<v Speaker 1>I parked and made it, I messaged the girl straight

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<v Speaker 1>away and I was like, I'm here, I made it,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm safe, and.

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<v Speaker 3>I beat you bitches. Do you know why you beat us? Bitches?

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<v Speaker 3>We don't need to talk about it. We do need

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<v Speaker 3>to do about it. It's fine. We got to work

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<v Speaker 3>nicely in peacefully. Today, Produce a Keisha, why wouldn't we

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<v Speaker 3>talk about it?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I got a message and I heard that Produce

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<v Speaker 1>a Keisha had a bit of a hurricane moment.

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<v Speaker 2>So we were running very early today, like I'm talking

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<v Speaker 2>like twenty minutes early. I was thought I would get

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<v Speaker 2>in here, I'll do a bit of prep, I'll just relax,

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<v Speaker 2>I'll get another coffee. Anyway, it's been raining in Sydney.

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<v Speaker 2>It's been torrentially raining in Sydney the last two days.

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<v Speaker 3>And I drove up to pick Kesha up. I pick

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<v Speaker 3>her up every morning.

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<v Speaker 2>Very grateful for I am Akeisha's personal Uber service. I

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<v Speaker 2>pick her up every morning. I drive into like there's

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<v Speaker 2>a little pull in zone, and in exchange for me

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<v Speaker 2>picking her up, she pops inside and gets me a coffee.

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<v Speaker 3>Right, I mean, you know, on the business car. But

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<v Speaker 3>still she.

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<v Speaker 1>Does the actual she does the walking in to.

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<v Speaker 3>Get the coffee. It's still money, but she gets I

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<v Speaker 3>pay for it.

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<v Speaker 2>So anyway, so Kisha goes in and she gets the coffee,

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<v Speaker 2>and then I have never seen someone move with such

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<v Speaker 2>like furiosity.

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<v Speaker 3>It was like a hurricane was trying to enter the car.

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<v Speaker 2>In one movement, there was a bag an umbrella that

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<v Speaker 2>was still half up the right cup of coffee.

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<v Speaker 1>Did you say you said something around like swing dozer.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that's it.

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<v Speaker 2>You called yourself a bulldozer, which was moments before I'm

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<v Speaker 2>talking about five seconds before bulldozed her entire handbag straight

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<v Speaker 2>into the cup of coffee that she bought, and it

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<v Speaker 2>just evacuated all over the car. It wasn't like one

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<v Speaker 2>of these little spills that you could like it just

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<v Speaker 2>fell on the floor.

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<v Speaker 4>It got into you know the heavy brake where it's

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<v Speaker 4>got the stitching of the leather that goes into the plastic,

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<v Speaker 4>and it's like got so many crevices and then everywhere

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<v Speaker 4>I white, it.

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<v Speaker 3>Just came out like that.

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<v Speaker 2>So this is the sun that doesn't it's it goes

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<v Speaker 2>on and every time we wipe, more fucking coffee came

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<v Speaker 2>out of the car.

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<v Speaker 4>I realized that I got it in the center console,

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<v Speaker 4>like on the top and in the handle, and then

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<v Speaker 4>in the Senate console as where it was.

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<v Speaker 3>It was a freaking disaster. I didn't do it.

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<v Speaker 1>You do it well right, like I spilled the whole

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<v Speaker 1>cup and you spill it everywhere.

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<v Speaker 2>I did put on Instagram and everyone keeps messaging me

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<v Speaker 2>being like, that's your spout.

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<v Speaker 3>We're not using a keep caup, and I'm like, I know,

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<v Speaker 3>to be fair, I would have spilled that justice.

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<v Speaker 1>I brought my oats to work today since the jungle,

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<v Speaker 1>I have oats. Are you're not traumatized by oaths? No,

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<v Speaker 1>I've on this new bandwagon. I'm just wanting them all

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<v Speaker 1>the time.

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<v Speaker 3>So I brought it to work.

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<v Speaker 1>But I have been bringing my oaths in a keip

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<v Speaker 1>cup just so you know. It's a brilliant idea. Since

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<v Speaker 1>the middle console, I must be pedestal.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm just a pestal.

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<v Speaker 1>I just did spill my coffee, but you're saving graces.

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<v Speaker 1>Laura has two kids, so I'm sure spill a lot worse.

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<v Speaker 3>In that this is true.

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<v Speaker 2>After we finished cleaning up the mess, I did say

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<v Speaker 2>to Keisha, I don't think that that part of the

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<v Speaker 2>car has ever been so clean.

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<v Speaker 4>We did joke about this because this applies to anything

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<v Speaker 4>in life.

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<v Speaker 1>It has to be bad enough that you make a change, right, Like.

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<v Speaker 4>The cleanup process had to be bad enough that we

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<v Speaker 4>gave it a nice little wipe down.

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<v Speaker 3>It's good.

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<v Speaker 1>But anyway, have you guys seen the new straw that's

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<v Speaker 1>going around. I don't think this trend's going to take off,

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<v Speaker 1>but this is how far women have gone to like

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<v Speaker 1>preserve their face. There is a new straw that you

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<v Speaker 1>don't suck the end anymore, because if you think of

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<v Speaker 1>when you suck a straw, you cigarette smokeslines, Yeah, your purse,

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<v Speaker 1>your lips over it all right, So people are saying

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<v Speaker 1>now that that constant position of your lips is going

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<v Speaker 1>to cause like, yeah, what the equivalent of smoke a lines?

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<v Speaker 1>Like there's little wrinkles. So now there's a straw that

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<v Speaker 1>goes up like a straw, then goes on a right

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<v Speaker 1>angle and goes horizontal and the hole for the straw

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<v Speaker 1>is in the horizontal part and you just gently put

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<v Speaker 1>your lips over and.

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<v Speaker 3>Suck like that.

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<v Speaker 1>Like if you guys, I know this is not a

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<v Speaker 1>visual medium, but if you can google it, it is

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<v Speaker 1>the funniest shit. There is no way I'm ever walking

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<v Speaker 1>around drinking from a horizontal straw.

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<v Speaker 2>I thought you were about to say that you'd started,

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<v Speaker 2>you'd gotten one. You're like, it's the new thing. It's

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<v Speaker 2>my vibe for this week. Horizontal straw sucking.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, I do you know what. Okay, I'll

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<v Speaker 1>try it. I'll try the trend, but I I think

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<v Speaker 1>it's the dumbest thing I've ever couldn't have a lip flip,

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<v Speaker 1>that's for sure.

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<v Speaker 3>He should tell us about that.

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<v Speaker 4>I went through a process a couple of months ago

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<v Speaker 4>where I had a fresh little bit of botox put

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<v Speaker 4>For anyone who doesn't know what a lip flip is it.

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<v Speaker 4>I got it instead of getting filler because my lips

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<v Speaker 4>used to be a little too big, and.

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<v Speaker 3>So I was like, okay, this is a nice happy medium. Anyway.

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<v Speaker 4>It paralyzes the muscle just above your lips, so it

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<v Speaker 4>kind of turned your lip outward. Anyone who's had this

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<v Speaker 4>will know when you drink the muscles don't work properly

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<v Speaker 4>and it just falls out of your mouth.

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<v Speaker 1>Even when you like brush your teeth, it kind of dribbles.

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<v Speaker 3>What about when you're sucking? I love that you. This

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<v Speaker 3>is a sex podcast. And Laura's like, what about when.

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<v Speaker 2>You well, if you can't suck a straw, you can't stop.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, poor toddleron, poor toddler.

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<v Speaker 4>The sucking is the problem, right, Yeah, yeah, no, I've

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<v Speaker 4>decided lip flips not for me, one and done for me.

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<v Speaker 4>It's so hard to keep any type of ten in

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<v Speaker 4>your mouth. So wow, you can't suck spaghetti up. You

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<v Speaker 4>can't suck. Honestly, it really was how you consume food,

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<v Speaker 4>liquid and other things.

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<v Speaker 1>If you wish, can you reverse it, like you know,

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<v Speaker 1>if you get filler, you can have it dissolved or

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<v Speaker 1>is it?

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<v Speaker 3>Because it's just the.

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<v Speaker 1>Same as botoks, right, So you just gotta let it.

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<v Speaker 3>You just gotta let it. You gotta let it wear

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<v Speaker 3>out essentially.

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<v Speaker 4>So yeah, I'm a couple months in now and it

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<v Speaker 4>has decreased.

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<v Speaker 3>I think it's gone away now.

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<v Speaker 2>It was when you very first got it done because

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<v Speaker 2>Keisha didn't come to work and say, hey, guys, got

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<v Speaker 2>a lip flip done? You just tried to let it

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<v Speaker 2>fly under the radar, and straight away I was like, Keisha, did.

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<v Speaker 3>You get a lip flip? Because your lip is doing

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<v Speaker 3>all sorts.

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<v Speaker 4>Of also causes you to get like a little bit

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<v Speaker 4>of a like your speech changes.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, yours, dear.

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<v Speaker 4>I didn't realize how much you use the top lip

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<v Speaker 4>to kind of pronounce things, probably, And now it's really funny. Actually,

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<v Speaker 4>now I feel like I can spot it when I'm

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<v Speaker 4>on social media.

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<v Speaker 1>I can see and I'm like.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, you've had a lip flip. That's why you're talking.

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<v Speaker 2>Like it's surprising because I have seen a few people

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<v Speaker 2>with lip flips, and I don't think I have to

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<v Speaker 2>see a lip flip on someone where I think it

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<v Speaker 2>looks better than their normal lips, and not when it's static,

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<v Speaker 2>like when you're not moving, great, looks fantastic.

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<v Speaker 3>It's the talking.

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<v Speaker 2>The talking just doesn't look quite natural, and so it's

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<v Speaker 2>a bit distracting.

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<v Speaker 1>Because it paralyzes your lips, so only one lip is

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<v Speaker 1>moving all of a sudden, so when you're talking, your

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<v Speaker 1>top lip stays stationary and only the bottom lip like

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<v Speaker 1>a grope ye is doing the work. Yeah, you know

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<v Speaker 1>what we're criticized for.

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<v Speaker 4>And I'm putting this in quotation marks promoting cosmetic procedures

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<v Speaker 4>before because I'm very open about anything I've had done.

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<v Speaker 3>This is the opposite.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't get it done.

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<v Speaker 3>It's not worth it.

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<v Speaker 4>You can't drink shit, you can't eat properly, and you

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<v Speaker 4>cannot give decent.

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<v Speaker 1>Trenck and tomplarritors marked the diary for how long your

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<v Speaker 1>both He's like, so, what's your metabolism? Like, how long

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<v Speaker 1>does botox take to wear off?

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<v Speaker 3>I've marked the diary.

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<v Speaker 1>He's like, no, it's fine, babe, I'm tired.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>This is I mean for you guys playing at home.

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<v Speaker 1>You've been a life on cut family for a long time.

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<v Speaker 1>You'll know that Laura and I have very different stances

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<v Speaker 1>on what we do in front of our partners in

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<v Speaker 1>terms of farting and right ah yeah, yeah yeah, Laura

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<v Speaker 1>will take.

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<v Speaker 3>A dumb no I won well, I won't. I will not.

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<v Speaker 2>I will not do a pool in front of my parta.

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<v Speaker 2>That is absolutely not true. But you're accept do you

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<v Speaker 2>know what? Okay, I'm hijacking this for one second, and

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<v Speaker 2>I was on the toilet doing a pooh yesterday morning,

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<v Speaker 2>like in the middle, and he walked in and said,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm having a shower.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm running late. And I was like, no, you are not.

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<v Speaker 3>You will wait.

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<v Speaker 2>There are two other showers in this house. And he

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<v Speaker 2>was like, I'm having a shower, why that shower.

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<v Speaker 3>Pick another shower, Go into another shower.

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<v Speaker 2>And then I just had to sit there because I

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<v Speaker 2>was too humiliated to white whilst he was in the shower.

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<v Speaker 2>So I just sat there waiting for him to finish.

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<v Speaker 2>If you a made evacuation, I was at the studio.

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<v Speaker 3>I had to have continued the evacuation, I know. And

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<v Speaker 3>I was sitting on Instagram.

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<v Speaker 2>I was enjoying my one minute of peace after my

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<v Speaker 2>poo This was he got in the shower.

0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:55.679
<v Speaker 4>I have a follow up question, Yeah, while you were

0:08:55.720 --> 0:08:57.440
<v Speaker 4>sitting there, did you flush or did you just leave

0:08:57.480 --> 0:08:58.120
<v Speaker 4>it floating?

0:08:58.240 --> 0:09:00.080
<v Speaker 2>I just left it floating. The whole thing was the

0:09:00.120 --> 0:09:02.960
<v Speaker 2>most bizarre ten minutes of my life. He came in,

0:09:03.120 --> 0:09:04.800
<v Speaker 2>he said, I'm running late. I have to have a shower.

0:09:04.920 --> 0:09:07.880
<v Speaker 2>I was like, there's a bathroom downstairs, and he said,

0:09:08.000 --> 0:09:09.040
<v Speaker 2>were your dad's downstairs?

0:09:09.080 --> 0:09:10.040
<v Speaker 3>So I don't want to have a shower.

0:09:10.160 --> 0:09:11.880
<v Speaker 2>So then he got in the shower, but had a

0:09:11.920 --> 0:09:16.320
<v Speaker 2>completely freezing cold shower, so he was like the whole time,

0:09:16.360 --> 0:09:20.160
<v Speaker 2>it's very Gary Bracker healthier, and then towed off and left,

0:09:20.200 --> 0:09:22.880
<v Speaker 2>and I was left sitting on the toilet, confused about

0:09:22.880 --> 0:09:23.800
<v Speaker 2>my life decisions.

0:09:24.320 --> 0:09:26.760
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what to say, because there's no worse

0:09:26.880 --> 0:09:29.360
<v Speaker 1>part in a relationship for me than taking a dump

0:09:29.360 --> 0:09:31.080
<v Speaker 1>in front of your partner. I don't get it, Like

0:09:31.200 --> 0:09:33.280
<v Speaker 1>I want to look at my partner, and this is

0:09:33.320 --> 0:09:35.400
<v Speaker 1>why it goes to farting for me. I get that

0:09:35.440 --> 0:09:37.800
<v Speaker 1>everyone loves to fart. I get that everyone far it's fine,

0:09:37.840 --> 0:09:40.880
<v Speaker 1>whatever is my opinion. For me, I want to look

0:09:40.880 --> 0:09:43.400
<v Speaker 1>at my partner for as long as physically possible and

0:09:43.480 --> 0:09:45.880
<v Speaker 1>want to rip their clothes off. And the more farts

0:09:45.920 --> 0:09:48.160
<v Speaker 1>that they drop around me on me, the more I

0:09:48.200 --> 0:09:50.360
<v Speaker 1>smell them, the quicker that's going to deteriorate.

0:09:50.800 --> 0:09:52.600
<v Speaker 3>Why don't you tell everyone what you did? This is

0:09:52.600 --> 0:09:53.160
<v Speaker 3>what I'm getting to.

0:09:53.600 --> 0:09:54.920
<v Speaker 1>I've come out of the jungle, and I'm still a

0:09:54.960 --> 0:09:57.000
<v Speaker 1>bit of a jungle beast, and like, I forget that

0:09:57.080 --> 0:09:58.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm not in the middle of South Africa anymore, and

0:09:59.000 --> 0:10:01.040
<v Speaker 1>no one's around me. And I was on the phone

0:10:01.040 --> 0:10:02.760
<v Speaker 1>to Ben. We're on FaceTime, and I was in the

0:10:02.760 --> 0:10:06.079
<v Speaker 1>bathroom getting ready, the bathroom, of all places, the acoustics

0:10:06.240 --> 0:10:10.000
<v Speaker 1>in a bathroom. So Ben was on FaceTime, on against

0:10:10.000 --> 0:10:11.880
<v Speaker 1>the mirror, and I was just going about my stuff,

0:10:11.920 --> 0:10:15.840
<v Speaker 1>getting ready whatever, and it was silent, and I.

0:10:15.760 --> 0:10:18.360
<v Speaker 3>Don't know what came over me. I didn't think.

0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:20.360
<v Speaker 1>About it, but I just let one rip, like I

0:10:20.480 --> 0:10:25.520
<v Speaker 1>just dropped a bomb. I know, I just forgot. I

0:10:25.559 --> 0:10:27.480
<v Speaker 1>forgot he was on the phone. I forgot I wasn't

0:10:27.480 --> 0:10:29.280
<v Speaker 1>in a jungle anymore. I forgot that I don't fight

0:10:29.320 --> 0:10:31.240
<v Speaker 1>in front of bend. Anyway, I let this fat rip

0:10:31.760 --> 0:10:34.679
<v Speaker 1>and I just stopped and I was like, did I

0:10:34.720 --> 0:10:36.120
<v Speaker 1>just do that? And I was like maybe he didn't

0:10:36.160 --> 0:10:39.360
<v Speaker 1>hear through the FaceTime. And he burst into laughter and

0:10:39.440 --> 0:10:41.560
<v Speaker 1>he goes, did you did you?

0:10:41.640 --> 0:10:42.440
<v Speaker 3>I was like, know what?

0:10:42.559 --> 0:10:43.960
<v Speaker 1>And he goes, did you just I was like, that

0:10:44.080 --> 0:10:47.080
<v Speaker 1>was obviously Delilah, Ben, and he was like, that was

0:10:47.160 --> 0:10:47.960
<v Speaker 1>not Delilah.

0:10:48.040 --> 0:10:48.800
<v Speaker 3>You just the one rip?

0:10:48.800 --> 0:10:51.360
<v Speaker 1>Anyway, I burst into laughter. But then I had to

0:10:51.400 --> 0:10:54.920
<v Speaker 1>pretend because I was embarrassed. I pretended that I meant

0:10:54.960 --> 0:10:55.400
<v Speaker 1>to do it.

0:10:55.559 --> 0:10:57.880
<v Speaker 3>I was like, yeah, babe. I'm like, obviously we're there now,

0:10:58.080 --> 0:10:58.360
<v Speaker 3>and he.

0:10:58.400 --> 0:11:02.800
<v Speaker 1>Was like, oh we ha. I was like, what's the

0:11:02.840 --> 0:11:05.199
<v Speaker 1>big deal? He's like, are we there?

0:11:05.280 --> 0:11:05.760
<v Speaker 3>Are we? There?

0:11:05.800 --> 0:11:07.640
<v Speaker 1>Are we farting now? And I'm like, if you don't

0:11:07.640 --> 0:11:09.680
<v Speaker 1>want to, let's not time one time?

0:11:09.800 --> 0:11:11.560
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god. Anyway, he just thought it was the

0:11:11.600 --> 0:11:12.120
<v Speaker 3>best thing.

0:11:12.280 --> 0:11:15.360
<v Speaker 1>Now I'm in this tricky place of well, he's going

0:11:15.400 --> 0:11:16.760
<v Speaker 1>to listen to this, I guess. But I'm in this

0:11:16.800 --> 0:11:18.960
<v Speaker 1>tricky place of do I own that was a slip

0:11:19.120 --> 0:11:20.880
<v Speaker 1>and an accent? And I don't want to go back.

0:11:20.760 --> 0:11:23.319
<v Speaker 2>There unless you want to open the floodgates. You want

0:11:23.320 --> 0:11:26.360
<v Speaker 2>to go down the slippery spiral of him walking in

0:11:26.360 --> 0:11:27.480
<v Speaker 2>whilst we're in the middle of a poop.

0:11:27.520 --> 0:11:29.640
<v Speaker 1>But also I think I don't actually don't know what

0:11:29.679 --> 0:11:32.720
<v Speaker 1>came over me, and the bathroom makes it echo just human,

0:11:32.920 --> 0:11:33.680
<v Speaker 1>everyone doesn't.

0:11:33.760 --> 0:11:34.480
<v Speaker 3>Do you remember what.

0:11:34.440 --> 0:11:37.240
<v Speaker 4>The catalyst was for you opening the flood gates? Was

0:11:37.280 --> 0:11:39.120
<v Speaker 4>it just it happened one day and you were like, okay,

0:11:39.160 --> 0:11:39.680
<v Speaker 4>well here.

0:11:39.559 --> 0:11:41.760
<v Speaker 2>Now, No, it would have been Matt. Matt's disgusting. He

0:11:41.800 --> 0:11:43.880
<v Speaker 2>has no problems with He'll fight anywhere. He's like, well,

0:11:43.880 --> 0:11:47.560
<v Speaker 2>if you get to do it, equality. Whatever's good for

0:11:47.640 --> 0:11:49.560
<v Speaker 2>him is good for me. So now I'm just waiting

0:11:49.559 --> 0:11:50.960
<v Speaker 2>for the next time he's doing a poop and I'm

0:11:51.000 --> 0:11:52.079
<v Speaker 2>going to go and have a shower, just.

0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:53.800
<v Speaker 3>To get one up on him. But you'll never peel

0:11:53.840 --> 0:11:56.080
<v Speaker 3>in front of him. I already did that's I was

0:11:56.080 --> 0:11:56.520
<v Speaker 3>in the middle.

0:11:56.679 --> 0:11:57.120
<v Speaker 1>But no.

0:11:57.160 --> 0:11:59.079
<v Speaker 3>But yeah, but you didn't have a choice. That choice

0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:00.480
<v Speaker 3>was taken. That's what I'm saying. I'm going to do

0:12:00.520 --> 0:12:01.800
<v Speaker 3>the same to him. I'm going to go and have

0:12:01.800 --> 0:12:03.520
<v Speaker 3>a shower. I don't think it'll have the same effect.

0:12:03.559 --> 0:12:04.480
<v Speaker 1>I don't think he'll care.

0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:07.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm not going to enjoy the shower, but I need

0:12:07.520 --> 0:12:09.880
<v Speaker 2>to at least feel as though I did what he did.

0:12:10.040 --> 0:12:11.720
<v Speaker 4>You know, I think this is a double punishment for

0:12:11.800 --> 0:12:14.760
<v Speaker 4>you guys. Let's move on from poop. Let's talk about

0:12:14.880 --> 0:12:16.360
<v Speaker 4>our vibes and unsubscribes.

0:12:16.440 --> 0:12:18.680
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna kick up my vibe because it's fresh off

0:12:18.720 --> 0:12:19.760
<v Speaker 3>my travel back.

0:12:20.120 --> 0:12:22.400
<v Speaker 1>It's literally from Amazon or from have you seen the

0:12:22.520 --> 0:12:24.800
<v Speaker 1>new It's not new, but you know the TMU website

0:12:24.800 --> 0:12:27.040
<v Speaker 1>where everything's like a dollar, so like that Chinese website. Okay,

0:12:27.040 --> 0:12:29.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm not recommending that because I have bought something from here,

0:12:29.080 --> 0:12:30.719
<v Speaker 1>before when it break. But you can get anything from

0:12:30.720 --> 0:12:31.760
<v Speaker 1>there very ethically.

0:12:31.800 --> 0:12:34.640
<v Speaker 3>Questions. Yeahs terrible.

0:12:34.720 --> 0:12:36.960
<v Speaker 1>It's oh yeah, it's terrible and it's low quality. That's

0:12:36.960 --> 0:12:38.520
<v Speaker 1>what I'm gonna say. But I'm just saying you can

0:12:38.559 --> 0:12:40.920
<v Speaker 1>get on any website. It's not specific, but I got

0:12:40.960 --> 0:12:44.960
<v Speaker 1>mine from Amazon. It's just like a travel plane phone

0:12:45.160 --> 0:12:47.559
<v Speaker 1>and iPad holder, and it's amazing.

0:12:47.840 --> 0:12:49.760
<v Speaker 3>It's like this little holder that.

0:12:49.760 --> 0:12:52.160
<v Speaker 1>Will go over the top of your food you know,

0:12:52.200 --> 0:12:54.200
<v Speaker 1>your food tray. How it flaps down, so it like

0:12:54.240 --> 0:12:56.560
<v Speaker 1>hooks over that and it comes down and you can

0:12:56.760 --> 0:12:58.040
<v Speaker 1>screw it open, put your phone in.

0:12:58.040 --> 0:12:58.600
<v Speaker 3>It can turn.

0:12:58.520 --> 0:13:00.440
<v Speaker 1>Landscape or portrait, and it sits in front of you

0:13:00.480 --> 0:13:03.040
<v Speaker 1>and you can play your movies or shows or whatever

0:13:03.040 --> 0:13:04.720
<v Speaker 1>you want to do if you're reading on there, so

0:13:04.840 --> 0:13:06.760
<v Speaker 1>just sits in front of your hands free. And then

0:13:06.800 --> 0:13:09.160
<v Speaker 1>they have a bigger one that if you travel with

0:13:09.360 --> 0:13:11.520
<v Speaker 1>an iPad, you can put your iPad in there too,

0:13:11.559 --> 0:13:14.600
<v Speaker 1>because you know how sometimes on planes they don't have screens.

0:13:14.760 --> 0:13:16.400
<v Speaker 2>Well, sometimes they have those straps that you can put

0:13:16.400 --> 0:13:18.599
<v Speaker 2>your iPad into. That's few and far between me.

0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:20.920
<v Speaker 4>I've got a budget version and used a face mask

0:13:21.000 --> 0:13:23.560
<v Speaker 4>and tried to like create a sling to hold my foot.

0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:24.880
<v Speaker 3>Well, that's what I used to do.

0:13:25.000 --> 0:13:27.720
<v Speaker 1>I have done some creative shit in the past. And

0:13:27.760 --> 0:13:29.960
<v Speaker 1>then I saw this somewhere floating around the line, and I.

0:13:29.880 --> 0:13:31.520
<v Speaker 3>Was like, that seems too good to be true.

0:13:31.640 --> 0:13:32.000
<v Speaker 1>Ordered them.

0:13:32.040 --> 0:13:33.360
<v Speaker 3>They're brilliant, they're perfect.

0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:35.640
<v Speaker 1>So I'll put a link to an Amazon one that

0:13:35.720 --> 0:13:38.400
<v Speaker 1>I got that was I mean, hasn't broken yet, So

0:13:38.400 --> 0:13:38.920
<v Speaker 1>so far.

0:13:38.840 --> 0:13:39.280
<v Speaker 3>So good.

0:13:39.679 --> 0:13:42.480
<v Speaker 2>My recommendation for this week is a It's a series.

0:13:42.480 --> 0:13:44.840
<v Speaker 2>It's on Apple TV. It's called Severance.

0:13:44.920 --> 0:13:45.199
<v Speaker 3>Now.

0:13:45.520 --> 0:13:48.360
<v Speaker 2>I think there's nine episodes in the first season and

0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:50.480
<v Speaker 2>I watched it all in three days.

0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:52.720
<v Speaker 3>I've like been binging my series recently.

0:13:53.200 --> 0:13:56.800
<v Speaker 2>So it's got Adam Scott in it and also Patricia Arquett.

0:13:56.800 --> 0:13:58.040
<v Speaker 3>Do you know who Putricatte is?

0:13:58.120 --> 0:14:01.959
<v Speaker 2>Okaat Like I was going to school you on who

0:14:01.960 --> 0:14:03.400
<v Speaker 2>she is, but you can school meet. Yeah, she's an

0:14:03.400 --> 0:14:06.480
<v Speaker 2>Allien actress. She is from that TV series where she's

0:14:06.559 --> 0:14:10.000
<v Speaker 2>like a medium and helps to solve crimes. Anyway, So

0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:12.360
<v Speaker 2>basically the storyline behind this, and I don't want to

0:14:12.360 --> 0:14:15.120
<v Speaker 2>give too much away, but it's this moral concept of

0:14:15.679 --> 0:14:18.800
<v Speaker 2>imagine if you had your your life outside of work

0:14:19.280 --> 0:14:22.760
<v Speaker 2>and your work life and your brain was completely severed,

0:14:22.800 --> 0:14:25.800
<v Speaker 2>so your memories at work were completely severed to your

0:14:25.840 --> 0:14:28.240
<v Speaker 2>memories outside of work. So basically, you go to work,

0:14:28.240 --> 0:14:29.720
<v Speaker 2>you get in the lift, and as you're going up

0:14:29.760 --> 0:14:32.640
<v Speaker 2>the lift, anything that happens at work, anything you do

0:14:32.680 --> 0:14:35.600
<v Speaker 2>at work, you cannot remember and you're not supposed to remember.

0:14:35.680 --> 0:14:36.920
<v Speaker 2>And then you get in the lift, you come back

0:14:36.960 --> 0:14:38.760
<v Speaker 2>down and you get to live your life as though

0:14:39.120 --> 0:14:42.120
<v Speaker 2>that part of your life never existed. And so it's

0:14:42.200 --> 0:14:44.800
<v Speaker 2>this concept where it splits you in two, and so

0:14:44.840 --> 0:14:47.840
<v Speaker 2>you have what's called an inny and an auti because

0:14:47.880 --> 0:14:50.880
<v Speaker 2>you're two completely different people living two completely different lives.

0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:52.600
<v Speaker 3>I really enjoyed it.

0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:55.120
<v Speaker 2>It's quite this like, like I said, it's not a thriller,

0:14:55.560 --> 0:14:59.600
<v Speaker 2>it's quite a psychological drama. I guess, not even a drama.

0:14:59.600 --> 0:15:01.600
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what category would sit in. It's very

0:15:01.640 --> 0:15:02.360
<v Speaker 2>thought provoking.

0:15:02.400 --> 0:15:04.800
<v Speaker 1>And I say that because I've watched half of it

0:15:04.920 --> 0:15:07.160
<v Speaker 1>on your recommendation, Laura, and it's very one of those

0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:09.480
<v Speaker 1>things where you're like, you put yourself in it, imagine

0:15:09.480 --> 0:15:09.840
<v Speaker 1>this world.

0:15:09.880 --> 0:15:10.720
<v Speaker 3>Would I want to do that?

0:15:10.760 --> 0:15:12.440
<v Speaker 1>If I had the choice, would I want to separate

0:15:12.480 --> 0:15:15.080
<v Speaker 1>and not know what happened at work? And not know

0:15:15.120 --> 0:15:17.480
<v Speaker 1>what happened in my private life. It's like very yeah, insular,

0:15:17.520 --> 0:15:18.120
<v Speaker 1>thought provoking.

0:15:18.280 --> 0:15:19.080
<v Speaker 3>I think it's brilliant.

0:15:19.160 --> 0:15:22.160
<v Speaker 2>I really really enjoyed it, and I really enjoyed Sometimes

0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:24.360
<v Speaker 2>you watch these types of series and you're like, who

0:15:24.480 --> 0:15:26.520
<v Speaker 2>was it that thought of this? Like how did someone

0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:29.560
<v Speaker 2>have the creative ability to come up with this concept?

0:15:29.600 --> 0:15:31.920
<v Speaker 2>And that's what I really liked about it. So Severn's

0:15:31.920 --> 0:15:34.360
<v Speaker 2>Apple TV Big recommendation.

0:15:34.200 --> 0:15:36.000
<v Speaker 1>Sounds like a bit of a lighter black mirror.

0:15:36.240 --> 0:15:38.040
<v Speaker 3>Yes, it's a very black mirror of vart.

0:15:38.040 --> 0:15:39.920
<v Speaker 4>I had to stop watching it it got too fucked up.

0:15:40.000 --> 0:15:42.200
<v Speaker 4>Speaking of thought provoking, my vibe of the Week is

0:15:42.240 --> 0:15:45.640
<v Speaker 4>kind of similar. It's the entire program of Insight that's

0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:49.560
<v Speaker 4>on SBS. It's hosted by Kumi Tagucci, and essentially Insight.

0:15:49.640 --> 0:15:52.280
<v Speaker 4>They're usually about a fifty minute like forty five to

0:15:52.320 --> 0:15:56.440
<v Speaker 4>an hour episode, and they all focus on a different topic.

0:15:57.040 --> 0:15:59.200
<v Speaker 4>So they will often get a lot of people in

0:15:59.240 --> 0:16:01.760
<v Speaker 4>a room that are somehow related to the topic, and

0:16:01.800 --> 0:16:02.680
<v Speaker 4>they will get.

0:16:02.480 --> 0:16:04.720
<v Speaker 3>All of the different perspectives.

0:16:04.080 --> 0:16:08.160
<v Speaker 4>From the people. There was one episode that I recently watched.

0:16:08.160 --> 0:16:09.960
<v Speaker 4>It came out I think maybe two or three weeks ago.

0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:13.320
<v Speaker 4>It's called convenient relationships. And so they got all of

0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:15.800
<v Speaker 4>these different people. They got people that were like sugar daddy,

0:16:15.880 --> 0:16:19.560
<v Speaker 4>sugar babies, they got escorts, they got these two mums

0:16:19.600 --> 0:16:23.040
<v Speaker 4>who were single mums that moved in together the mummune, Yeah,

0:16:23.080 --> 0:16:25.640
<v Speaker 4>to create this household where they because they were like,

0:16:25.680 --> 0:16:27.520
<v Speaker 4>you know, the cost of living and it's really hard,

0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:30.120
<v Speaker 4>and we've kind of provided each other this really good

0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:33.600
<v Speaker 4>dynamic to raise our children in. It was just very

0:16:33.960 --> 0:16:38.440
<v Speaker 4>very interesting and it kind of investigated transactional relationships.

0:16:38.840 --> 0:16:39.760
<v Speaker 3>I really like that.

0:16:40.000 --> 0:16:43.320
<v Speaker 4>Anytime I watch an episode, it seems very respectful and

0:16:43.360 --> 0:16:46.680
<v Speaker 4>it seems quite inquisitive, but not in a judgmental tone.

0:16:46.800 --> 0:16:48.080
<v Speaker 3>So I really like that.

0:16:48.680 --> 0:16:51.400
<v Speaker 4>It gives you, I was about to say, it gives

0:16:51.400 --> 0:16:53.360
<v Speaker 4>you insight into how these people live.

0:16:53.560 --> 0:16:56.560
<v Speaker 1>That's why the show's called insights, yeah, actly named.

0:16:56.680 --> 0:16:56.880
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:16:56.920 --> 0:16:58.800
<v Speaker 4>So there's all these different ones. There's one on guilt,

0:16:58.840 --> 0:17:02.480
<v Speaker 4>there's one on stalking. Like, there's quite a lot, and

0:17:02.520 --> 0:17:05.920
<v Speaker 4>there's a lot. This is episode seven of season twenty

0:17:05.960 --> 0:17:08.840
<v Speaker 4>twenty four. So there's heaps of different episodes, lots of

0:17:08.880 --> 0:17:12.080
<v Speaker 4>different topics that I personally find very very interesting and

0:17:12.080 --> 0:17:15.440
<v Speaker 4>I'm just enjoying, like watching one a week because often

0:17:15.480 --> 0:17:17.639
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, oh, that's something I never would have thought about.

0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:20.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, otherwise, just that a little hit that you need.

0:17:20.600 --> 0:17:22.760
<v Speaker 3>Where can you watch it? SBS so you can get it.

0:17:22.760 --> 0:17:23.440
<v Speaker 1>It's for free.

0:17:23.720 --> 0:17:26.240
<v Speaker 4>You can get the SPS app if you don't watch

0:17:26.320 --> 0:17:29.199
<v Speaker 4>I don't know when it actually goes live on the

0:17:29.520 --> 0:17:31.480
<v Speaker 4>TV because I don't have live TV. I just have

0:17:31.560 --> 0:17:33.720
<v Speaker 4>the apps and that kind of thing. So yeah, SPS

0:17:33.720 --> 0:17:36.520
<v Speaker 4>on demand app and you can just stream it to wherever.

0:17:36.440 --> 0:17:39.600
<v Speaker 3>A Right, well, let's get into your questions.

0:17:40.400 --> 0:17:42.000
<v Speaker 1>Question number one.

0:17:42.680 --> 0:17:46.080
<v Speaker 3>Oh my gosh, this is actually this is fucked up.

0:17:46.160 --> 0:17:48.040
<v Speaker 1>This is it.

0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:51.919
<v Speaker 3>It's fucked up. It's it is many levels of fact up.

0:17:51.920 --> 0:17:53.440
<v Speaker 1>There's a lot of people sometimes when we get some

0:17:53.560 --> 0:17:56.199
<v Speaker 1>questions that are super left field, people think that we

0:17:56.240 --> 0:17:56.840
<v Speaker 1>make them up.

0:17:56.920 --> 0:17:58.840
<v Speaker 3>We have never made a question up in the history

0:17:58.840 --> 0:18:01.840
<v Speaker 3>of life. Uncut it like swear hand on heart. Every

0:18:01.920 --> 0:18:02.520
<v Speaker 3>question is.

0:18:02.480 --> 0:18:05.720
<v Speaker 1>Written in and it's always anonymous, but it's always from

0:18:05.720 --> 0:18:06.840
<v Speaker 1>you guys and from the listener.

0:18:06.920 --> 0:18:10.640
<v Speaker 2>We receive hundreds and hundreds of messages every single week

0:18:10.840 --> 0:18:13.840
<v Speaker 2>all around different questions, like from everything from cheating to

0:18:14.240 --> 0:18:17.480
<v Speaker 2>relationship breakdowns to friendship breakdowns, like literally everything and every

0:18:17.520 --> 0:18:19.560
<v Speaker 2>so often there are somewhere where like we can't even

0:18:19.600 --> 0:18:21.920
<v Speaker 2>believe this is real life, And this is one of those.

0:18:22.040 --> 0:18:25.679
<v Speaker 1>Okay, my cousin has come to me absolutely distraught. She

0:18:25.760 --> 0:18:28.639
<v Speaker 1>confided to me that at a family wedding about two

0:18:28.720 --> 0:18:32.640
<v Speaker 1>months ago, she got very, very very drunk and had

0:18:32.760 --> 0:18:36.760
<v Speaker 1>sex with our second cousin. Keep in mind, she's newly

0:18:36.800 --> 0:18:39.080
<v Speaker 1>married and her husband couldn't make it to this wedding,

0:18:39.119 --> 0:18:41.960
<v Speaker 1>she was flying solo. She also told me that she

0:18:42.119 --> 0:18:45.800
<v Speaker 1>is pregnant and not one hundred percent sure who the

0:18:45.880 --> 0:18:53.720
<v Speaker 1>dad is, either her husband or her second cousin. Hell, sorry,

0:18:53.800 --> 0:18:56.040
<v Speaker 1>that has a pause dramatic effect. And also I'm shocked

0:18:56.600 --> 0:18:59.679
<v Speaker 1>she has decided just to assume that it's her husband's

0:19:00.119 --> 0:19:01.080
<v Speaker 1>That is a big assumption.

0:19:01.960 --> 0:19:03.119
<v Speaker 3>He's not looking into.

0:19:03.000 --> 0:19:06.359
<v Speaker 1>A paternity test, even though we are so close. It

0:19:06.400 --> 0:19:08.919
<v Speaker 1>took her all this time to tell me. She is

0:19:09.000 --> 0:19:11.280
<v Speaker 1>ashamed about it, and I think the only reason she

0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:13.560
<v Speaker 1>has opened up to me is because of the pregnancy.

0:19:13.960 --> 0:19:17.920
<v Speaker 1>My question is is it my place to tell the husband,

0:19:17.960 --> 0:19:20.760
<v Speaker 1>who I am very close with too for his sake

0:19:20.920 --> 0:19:24.640
<v Speaker 1>and the baby's sake, it could have serious health complications,

0:19:25.160 --> 0:19:27.960
<v Speaker 1>or do I just pretend I know nothing. Any advice

0:19:28.000 --> 0:19:29.520
<v Speaker 1>would be appreciated, as I have no one else to

0:19:29.560 --> 0:19:30.080
<v Speaker 1>talk about.

0:19:30.480 --> 0:19:33.960
<v Speaker 2>I firstly just I mean, we can all cost a

0:19:34.000 --> 0:19:35.800
<v Speaker 2>lot of judgment in this, and I know that that's

0:19:35.960 --> 0:19:39.040
<v Speaker 2>we probably will at some point. I'm so sorry that

0:19:39.080 --> 0:19:41.639
<v Speaker 2>you're in the situation now where you have to decide

0:19:41.680 --> 0:19:43.679
<v Speaker 2>what's the moral right thing to do, like it is

0:19:43.760 --> 0:19:47.480
<v Speaker 2>so unfair. And I understand why your cousin needed someone

0:19:47.560 --> 0:19:49.280
<v Speaker 2>to confide in, and I'm sure that this is a lot

0:19:49.320 --> 0:19:51.320
<v Speaker 2>for her to process as well, but it is a

0:19:51.440 --> 0:19:54.080
<v Speaker 2>very unfair situation to be And when someone comes to

0:19:54.080 --> 0:19:56.520
<v Speaker 2>you with their secret and says, I need you to

0:19:56.600 --> 0:19:58.800
<v Speaker 2>keep this, and sometimes you know, this happens to us

0:19:58.800 --> 0:20:00.280
<v Speaker 2>where people say I need to tell you something, but

0:20:00.359 --> 0:20:03.679
<v Speaker 2>please don't tell anyone, and you make that commitment before

0:20:03.680 --> 0:20:06.760
<v Speaker 2>you know what the thing is. And that's so unfair

0:20:06.880 --> 0:20:09.480
<v Speaker 2>to put that at dumping. It's completely trauma dumping. But

0:20:09.520 --> 0:20:11.880
<v Speaker 2>I also get it too, if you've done something that's

0:20:11.920 --> 0:20:14.879
<v Speaker 2>so like immoral in some ways, you know, and I

0:20:14.920 --> 0:20:16.600
<v Speaker 2>don't want to say, I mean, maybe immoral is not

0:20:16.640 --> 0:20:19.800
<v Speaker 2>the right word, but it's so scandalous it's gonna rip

0:20:19.880 --> 0:20:23.600
<v Speaker 2>families apart. Don't confide in someone who that's going to

0:20:23.680 --> 0:20:26.240
<v Speaker 2>have a massive emotional toll on as well. Go and

0:20:26.280 --> 0:20:27.840
<v Speaker 2>speak to a therapist, or go and speak to a

0:20:27.880 --> 0:20:29.679
<v Speaker 2>third party. That would be my first advice. And I

0:20:29.760 --> 0:20:31.200
<v Speaker 2>know that's not the question you ask, no, but.

0:20:31.200 --> 0:20:33.440
<v Speaker 1>Taking while we're there, taking away from the fact that

0:20:33.600 --> 0:20:36.119
<v Speaker 1>this is like a cousin thing. Away from that, it

0:20:36.200 --> 0:20:38.560
<v Speaker 1>just goes into all We've had this conversation so many

0:20:38.560 --> 0:20:41.080
<v Speaker 1>times around cheating when people have written in in this

0:20:41.200 --> 0:20:44.399
<v Speaker 1>exact instance, my friend has been cheating on her husband,

0:20:44.520 --> 0:20:46.000
<v Speaker 1>she told me. But I'm so far it close to

0:20:46.000 --> 0:20:47.960
<v Speaker 1>the husband. Do I tell them, Yeah, my friend's been

0:20:48.000 --> 0:20:48.880
<v Speaker 1>cheating on his wife.

0:20:49.200 --> 0:20:49.879
<v Speaker 3>Should she know?

0:20:50.080 --> 0:20:52.639
<v Speaker 1>Like being put in that position is a really awful

0:20:52.640 --> 0:20:56.160
<v Speaker 1>place to be put in, but it happens so frequently,

0:20:56.800 --> 0:21:00.000
<v Speaker 1>and I guess in this particular situation, there's a little

0:21:00.520 --> 0:21:03.080
<v Speaker 1>sprinkle of spice on top because it's the cousin and

0:21:03.119 --> 0:21:05.320
<v Speaker 1>the pregnancy. It's not just cheating, it's a cousin and

0:21:05.359 --> 0:21:06.040
<v Speaker 1>a pregnancy.

0:21:06.040 --> 0:21:08.680
<v Speaker 2>Firstly, I just want to rule something out because you said,

0:21:08.680 --> 0:21:11.080
<v Speaker 2>you know it could have serious health implications. I think

0:21:11.080 --> 0:21:13.399
<v Speaker 2>that there's a lot of rumors around, not rumors, but

0:21:13.440 --> 0:21:15.679
<v Speaker 2>like there's a lot of kind of like urban legend

0:21:15.800 --> 0:21:17.800
<v Speaker 2>that if you have a kid with your cousin that

0:21:17.840 --> 0:21:20.320
<v Speaker 2>they're going to have three fingers and seven toes. You know.

0:21:20.400 --> 0:21:23.280
<v Speaker 2>I think that we definitely have been brought up to

0:21:23.359 --> 0:21:24.840
<v Speaker 2>think that people are going to have a lot of

0:21:24.920 --> 0:21:29.840
<v Speaker 2>genetic mutations. If that happens legally within Australia, you can

0:21:29.960 --> 0:21:33.159
<v Speaker 2>marry your cousin. The risk or the increased risk of

0:21:33.200 --> 0:21:36.720
<v Speaker 2>genetic mutation because of that is only three to six

0:21:36.760 --> 0:21:40.200
<v Speaker 2>percent increase on what that genetic mutation risk already is,

0:21:40.240 --> 0:21:42.680
<v Speaker 2>which is a very small increase overall.

0:21:42.800 --> 0:21:45.520
<v Speaker 1>So it goes from three percent to six percent. Oh sorry,

0:21:45.600 --> 0:21:47.800
<v Speaker 1>it increases from three percent to six percent, and that's

0:21:47.920 --> 0:21:48.840
<v Speaker 1>just from our research.

0:21:49.040 --> 0:21:51.800
<v Speaker 2>Yes, so I would say that the risk to the

0:21:51.880 --> 0:21:55.360
<v Speaker 2>child is minimal. So I don't think make your decisions

0:21:55.440 --> 0:21:57.280
<v Speaker 2>off the fact that you think that there's this genetic

0:21:57.880 --> 0:22:01.040
<v Speaker 2>your fear around the child's physical or genetic their normalities,

0:22:01.080 --> 0:22:03.479
<v Speaker 2>I don't think should be what propels you to make

0:22:03.520 --> 0:22:03.959
<v Speaker 2>a decision.

0:22:04.000 --> 0:22:05.639
<v Speaker 3>So like, let's just rule that one out.

0:22:06.119 --> 0:22:08.320
<v Speaker 1>Did you know this has nothing to do with the question,

0:22:08.480 --> 0:22:10.680
<v Speaker 1>But you can also marry your aunt, uncle and nieces

0:22:10.720 --> 0:22:13.320
<v Speaker 1>and nephews which I think is fucked, but you can

0:22:13.560 --> 0:22:17.280
<v Speaker 1>legally that's worse. Okay, all right, yeah, Britt you start.

0:22:18.000 --> 0:22:24.440
<v Speaker 1>I I do want to be careful with this one

0:22:24.480 --> 0:22:26.760
<v Speaker 1>because I feel very grateful that we have done this

0:22:26.800 --> 0:22:29.600
<v Speaker 1>podcast for so long. If I had this question five

0:22:29.720 --> 0:22:31.879
<v Speaker 1>years ago when we started, I would have been shook

0:22:31.960 --> 0:22:33.679
<v Speaker 1>to the core and I would have said, there is

0:22:33.720 --> 0:22:36.120
<v Speaker 1>so much wrong with this. You need to tell them,

0:22:36.160 --> 0:22:37.600
<v Speaker 1>you need to have a conversation with her about the

0:22:37.600 --> 0:22:39.840
<v Speaker 1>baby's health, all of this stuff, right, But we have

0:22:39.880 --> 0:22:42.520
<v Speaker 1>had so many crazy questions and done so much research

0:22:42.520 --> 0:22:44.959
<v Speaker 1>over the years that this shocks me less now. It

0:22:45.040 --> 0:22:49.600
<v Speaker 1>really does. And I know somebody that has married their cousin.

0:22:49.840 --> 0:22:51.439
<v Speaker 1>I don't think they had kids, but I know they

0:22:51.480 --> 0:22:53.400
<v Speaker 1>got married. So I feel like I've been a bit

0:22:53.440 --> 0:22:57.000
<v Speaker 1>desensitized over the years from how much exposure I've had

0:22:57.000 --> 0:22:59.440
<v Speaker 1>to it. People listening to this and going to be like,

0:22:59.520 --> 0:23:02.280
<v Speaker 1>what the fuck you guys talking about this is nomazy,

0:23:02.400 --> 0:23:05.760
<v Speaker 1>But morally, my head will never get around this. Even

0:23:05.920 --> 0:23:09.520
<v Speaker 1>knowing that three percent chance of there being complications with

0:23:09.600 --> 0:23:12.240
<v Speaker 1>a baby normally can go to six percent when it's

0:23:12.440 --> 0:23:15.560
<v Speaker 1>a cousin or second cousin, So it does increase. Foresuore

0:23:15.720 --> 0:23:18.760
<v Speaker 1>doubles for the problem for me isn't that the baby

0:23:18.800 --> 0:23:21.439
<v Speaker 1>could be from the second cousin. The problem here just

0:23:21.480 --> 0:23:24.840
<v Speaker 1>comes back to a standard cheating problem. Now you know

0:23:25.200 --> 0:23:27.280
<v Speaker 1>you're friends with him, right, your friends with the husband

0:23:27.280 --> 0:23:29.719
<v Speaker 1>and your clothes, and now you know that his child

0:23:29.840 --> 0:23:33.320
<v Speaker 1>might not actually be his. That's a really really big

0:23:33.359 --> 0:23:34.360
<v Speaker 1>issue and it's a.

0:23:34.280 --> 0:23:36.760
<v Speaker 3>Big weight on your shoulders to hold two. I feel

0:23:36.760 --> 0:23:37.680
<v Speaker 3>differently to you, Brett.

0:23:37.680 --> 0:23:39.960
<v Speaker 2>I think that the cousin thing does play a massive impact,

0:23:40.000 --> 0:23:41.560
<v Speaker 2>and the reason for that is because there is so

0:23:41.640 --> 0:23:45.080
<v Speaker 2>much humiliation and shame loaded into this. Obviously, she is

0:23:45.119 --> 0:23:48.919
<v Speaker 2>completely distraught. She sounds like she's distraught. She's humiliated. She

0:23:49.040 --> 0:23:53.040
<v Speaker 2>got super super drunk and had sex with someone who she,

0:23:53.160 --> 0:23:55.159
<v Speaker 2>if she was of sound mind, absolutely would never have

0:23:55.200 --> 0:23:55.760
<v Speaker 2>had sex with.

0:23:55.880 --> 0:23:58.120
<v Speaker 3>And that's really, really really upsetting for her.

0:23:58.240 --> 0:24:01.960
<v Speaker 2>Like, I feel terrible your cousin that she managed to

0:24:02.000 --> 0:24:03.720
<v Speaker 2>get to a place where she thought that that was

0:24:03.800 --> 0:24:06.440
<v Speaker 2>normal or okay. She's woken up with so much regret

0:24:06.480 --> 0:24:08.400
<v Speaker 2>around this, and I.

0:24:07.800 --> 0:24:09.600
<v Speaker 3>Think that that is an awful situation.

0:24:10.200 --> 0:24:12.640
<v Speaker 2>Let's now unpack the fact that the question that you're

0:24:12.680 --> 0:24:16.240
<v Speaker 2>asking isn't around the morality of your cousin sleeping with

0:24:16.280 --> 0:24:18.280
<v Speaker 2>her cousin, like you know that's not around that. The

0:24:18.359 --> 0:24:23.760
<v Speaker 2>question is is do you tell her husband? Would I tell? No,

0:24:24.200 --> 0:24:27.560
<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't tell. That doesn't mean that that is the

0:24:27.640 --> 0:24:32.560
<v Speaker 2>right decision, because this is completely completely subjective, whatever you

0:24:32.720 --> 0:24:36.320
<v Speaker 2>feel comfortable with doing, whether you morally feel like you

0:24:36.320 --> 0:24:38.680
<v Speaker 2>can live with the decision that you make. I don't

0:24:38.680 --> 0:24:42.960
<v Speaker 2>feel like I would want to take on the massive

0:24:43.040 --> 0:24:47.439
<v Speaker 2>amount of responsibility that having that secret and giving that

0:24:47.520 --> 0:24:49.439
<v Speaker 2>secret up would have. And what I mean by that

0:24:49.600 --> 0:24:52.040
<v Speaker 2>is it will definitely ruin their marriage, which is not

0:24:52.119 --> 0:24:55.200
<v Speaker 2>your fault. She has done that herself, it's not your responsibility.

0:24:55.400 --> 0:24:58.320
<v Speaker 2>But it would also ruin family dynamics and the drama

0:24:58.440 --> 0:25:00.800
<v Speaker 2>and the stress that that would bring. I don't think

0:25:00.840 --> 0:25:03.359
<v Speaker 2>I personally have it in me, and maybe that's the

0:25:03.400 --> 0:25:07.240
<v Speaker 2>wrong thing to take that on board. Conflicting those feelings, however,

0:25:07.560 --> 0:25:09.440
<v Speaker 2>is that I do believe that that child has the

0:25:09.560 --> 0:25:12.000
<v Speaker 2>right to grow up knowing who their biological father is.

0:25:12.359 --> 0:25:14.760
<v Speaker 2>I do believe that there is Like so, there's so

0:25:14.920 --> 0:25:17.679
<v Speaker 2>much lying and deceit that is loaded into this, and

0:25:17.760 --> 0:25:19.560
<v Speaker 2>I don't condone any of the behavior.

0:25:19.720 --> 0:25:20.800
<v Speaker 3>I don't condone the lying.

0:25:20.840 --> 0:25:24.040
<v Speaker 2>I don't condone the but I'm saying I wouldn't have

0:25:24.200 --> 0:25:27.280
<v Speaker 2>the emotional capacity to take on the truth telling, and

0:25:27.359 --> 0:25:29.640
<v Speaker 2>that maybe is maybe that's a poor reflection of who

0:25:29.640 --> 0:25:33.160
<v Speaker 2>I am as personal. But I think that this will

0:25:33.160 --> 0:25:35.280
<v Speaker 2>come with so much stress for you, and the question

0:25:35.440 --> 0:25:37.840
<v Speaker 2>is is how do you feel? What can you manage

0:25:37.840 --> 0:25:38.879
<v Speaker 2>and what can you handle?

0:25:39.040 --> 0:25:40.600
<v Speaker 1>I think for me what I would do, and I

0:25:40.640 --> 0:25:42.560
<v Speaker 1>did think about what I'm do in this situation, and

0:25:42.600 --> 0:25:44.719
<v Speaker 1>I agree Laura as I said, it's like it's got

0:25:44.800 --> 0:25:46.359
<v Speaker 1>nothing to do with well, I don't think it has

0:25:46.359 --> 0:25:48.400
<v Speaker 1>anything to do with the cousin situation here.

0:25:48.480 --> 0:25:49.800
<v Speaker 3>I just think it has to do with the fact

0:25:49.840 --> 0:25:50.600
<v Speaker 3>of it's cheating.

0:25:50.600 --> 0:25:51.240
<v Speaker 1>Should they know.

0:25:52.119 --> 0:25:53.560
<v Speaker 2>When you say it has nothing to the cousin, don't

0:25:53.560 --> 0:25:55.119
<v Speaker 2>you think like, well, it's going to be like the

0:25:55.119 --> 0:25:56.760
<v Speaker 2>auntie and uncles are going to be fighting. That's going

0:25:56.800 --> 0:25:58.800
<v Speaker 2>to trickle down, like it's going to affect everyone in

0:25:58.840 --> 0:26:01.720
<v Speaker 2>that family, not just the person who's cheated.

0:26:01.840 --> 0:26:03.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I guess it's more like for this person that's

0:26:03.880 --> 0:26:08.280
<v Speaker 1>written in her question, is she's pregnant with possibly someone

0:26:08.280 --> 0:26:10.159
<v Speaker 1>else's child, Do I tell him or not? So for me,

0:26:10.200 --> 0:26:12.000
<v Speaker 1>in my head Right now, I've taken away the cousin

0:26:12.040 --> 0:26:13.760
<v Speaker 1>thing because I know it's not going to have the complications.

0:26:13.800 --> 0:26:16.320
<v Speaker 1>It's still someone possibly someone else's baby. But I think

0:26:16.359 --> 0:26:19.760
<v Speaker 1>what I would do is I would go to her

0:26:20.320 --> 0:26:22.600
<v Speaker 1>and say to her, I think you need to be

0:26:22.640 --> 0:26:25.440
<v Speaker 1>really honest and have that conversation, and if you don't

0:26:25.480 --> 0:26:28.080
<v Speaker 1>want to tell him, you need to do a paternity

0:26:28.160 --> 0:26:32.240
<v Speaker 1>test for your knowledge, because if something happens to that

0:26:32.359 --> 0:26:35.119
<v Speaker 1>child when it's born and it needs something, or it

0:26:35.160 --> 0:26:40.560
<v Speaker 1>has medical problems where it needs to know it's biological history,

0:26:40.760 --> 0:26:43.520
<v Speaker 1>like it's medical history. If you don't actually know who

0:26:43.560 --> 0:26:46.960
<v Speaker 1>the father is, you can't give accurate health care to

0:26:47.080 --> 0:26:50.000
<v Speaker 1>that child, like you absolutely cannot if it needs transplants,

0:26:50.200 --> 0:26:53.000
<v Speaker 1>if it needs to know blood, if it needs blood donations.

0:26:53.520 --> 0:26:55.800
<v Speaker 1>I mean, like this is extreme here, but kidney is

0:26:55.800 --> 0:26:58.159
<v Speaker 1>a predisposed to something because of what the parents have.

0:26:58.240 --> 0:27:01.280
<v Speaker 1>If you don't know biologically who its dad is, but

0:27:01.400 --> 0:27:04.040
<v Speaker 1>you could know, I think that's a selfish choice.

0:27:04.040 --> 0:27:05.000
<v Speaker 3>Do you know what as well?

0:27:05.040 --> 0:27:06.520
<v Speaker 2>We live in a day and age where so many

0:27:06.560 --> 0:27:10.080
<v Speaker 2>people do their ancestry chest like it's the fear your

0:27:10.160 --> 0:27:13.639
<v Speaker 2>cousin is going to live her life in absolute dread

0:27:14.119 --> 0:27:17.560
<v Speaker 2>that maybe that child is not biologically her husband's child,

0:27:17.680 --> 0:27:20.280
<v Speaker 2>and that this will come out. This kid is gonna

0:27:20.280 --> 0:27:22.399
<v Speaker 2>find out at some point in time, and then what

0:27:22.480 --> 0:27:24.639
<v Speaker 2>does that then look like? Yeah, it's a secret that

0:27:24.680 --> 0:27:26.159
<v Speaker 2>you are gonna have to carry. I for your restue,

0:27:26.280 --> 0:27:28.200
<v Speaker 2>I do agree with you, Britt, But I just I

0:27:28.280 --> 0:27:30.560
<v Speaker 2>don't know whether I would be the one to be

0:27:30.600 --> 0:27:33.480
<v Speaker 2>holding the moral compass here and being like I'm the

0:27:33.480 --> 0:27:34.679
<v Speaker 2>one who's gonna tell everyone.

0:27:34.800 --> 0:27:35.359
<v Speaker 3>I just don't know.

0:27:35.440 --> 0:27:37.199
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if I have it in me to

0:27:37.240 --> 0:27:41.760
<v Speaker 2>do that. But I literally cannot believe. I'm so surprised,

0:27:41.840 --> 0:27:43.560
<v Speaker 2>and this is a probably a horrible thing to say,

0:27:43.560 --> 0:27:45.959
<v Speaker 2>but I'm so surprised that she's choosing to go ahead

0:27:46.200 --> 0:27:49.280
<v Speaker 2>and have the baby with the uncertainty around it. And

0:27:49.320 --> 0:27:52.679
<v Speaker 2>maybe that's because of her own beliefs around abortion, or

0:27:52.720 --> 0:27:55.560
<v Speaker 2>maybe that's because she is married and she can't justify

0:27:55.600 --> 0:27:57.560
<v Speaker 2>to her husband why she would want to have an abortion.

0:27:57.640 --> 0:27:58.879
<v Speaker 2>Maybe there's more loaded into this.

0:27:58.960 --> 0:28:00.800
<v Speaker 1>We also don't know what I for tis history is

0:28:00.960 --> 0:28:03.600
<v Speaker 1>like you totally totally child she thinks she could have

0:28:03.840 --> 0:28:06.399
<v Speaker 1>You don't know, And I agree, I agree where the

0:28:06.440 --> 0:28:08.640
<v Speaker 1>cousin part for me comes back into it right now

0:28:08.640 --> 0:28:10.760
<v Speaker 1>that I'm bringing it back in because it is you know,

0:28:10.840 --> 0:28:12.920
<v Speaker 1>we can't deny that she had sex with a cousin.

0:28:13.720 --> 0:28:15.919
<v Speaker 1>If you go to your partner and you say, I

0:28:16.000 --> 0:28:18.320
<v Speaker 1>need to tell you something. I messed up and I

0:28:18.400 --> 0:28:20.720
<v Speaker 1>cheated on you, like I slept with someone else and

0:28:20.800 --> 0:28:23.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm pregnant and whatever you want to do with that, right,

0:28:23.080 --> 0:28:25.480
<v Speaker 1>there is a chance that you will work through that.

0:28:25.600 --> 0:28:29.359
<v Speaker 1>There is a chance for me. It's different when you say,

0:28:29.760 --> 0:28:31.399
<v Speaker 1>and it was my cousin, You're never going to work

0:28:31.400 --> 0:28:31.719
<v Speaker 1>through that.

0:28:31.800 --> 0:28:32.120
<v Speaker 3>You don't.

0:28:32.240 --> 0:28:35.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't think you work through an affair is one thing,

0:28:35.080 --> 0:28:37.320
<v Speaker 1>you know, Esa Perel many other people have told us

0:28:37.440 --> 0:28:40.400
<v Speaker 1>many times that an affair doesn't have to be the end.

0:28:40.480 --> 0:28:42.240
<v Speaker 1>It is for a lot of people, and that's okay.

0:28:42.440 --> 0:28:44.360
<v Speaker 1>It's also not for a lot of people, which is okay.

0:28:44.480 --> 0:28:47.840
<v Speaker 1>Many people work through it depending on the situation. But

0:28:47.960 --> 0:28:49.800
<v Speaker 1>when you throw in the fact that the affair was

0:28:49.800 --> 0:28:53.680
<v Speaker 1>your cousin, it hits different. I understand why she doesn't

0:28:53.720 --> 0:28:55.880
<v Speaker 1>want to tell him. I don't think it's the right thing,

0:28:56.000 --> 0:28:58.760
<v Speaker 1>and I think at a minimum, she needs to go

0:28:58.800 --> 0:28:59.920
<v Speaker 1>and get a paternity test.

0:29:00.120 --> 0:29:02.560
<v Speaker 3>I just can't believe she told you. You couldn't torture

0:29:02.600 --> 0:29:03.360
<v Speaker 3>this shit out of me.

0:29:03.880 --> 0:29:06.040
<v Speaker 1>You couldn't you tell me if you'd sex with your cousin,

0:29:06.120 --> 0:29:08.760
<v Speaker 1>for sure you could water board me. And I wouldn't

0:29:08.800 --> 0:29:11.080
<v Speaker 1>tell you this, Like, there is nothing you could do

0:29:11.160 --> 0:29:14.240
<v Speaker 1>to me that would make me tell someone this information?

0:29:14.280 --> 0:29:16.280
<v Speaker 1>Would you really not tell me if I fucked my

0:29:16.360 --> 0:29:19.320
<v Speaker 1>cousin and I was pregnant and I was unsure nothing.

0:29:19.440 --> 0:29:24.120
<v Speaker 3>I'm so offended. I told you I will die with

0:29:24.200 --> 0:29:26.960
<v Speaker 3>that secret. Wow, some people need to loose lip.

0:29:27.000 --> 0:29:33.400
<v Speaker 2>Sally over here, fucking shut up. I worry about how

0:29:33.440 --> 0:29:36.040
<v Speaker 2>we've answered this question, purely from the fact that because

0:29:36.040 --> 0:29:37.800
<v Speaker 2>we don't want to create a pylon, but we've been

0:29:37.880 --> 0:29:40.160
<v Speaker 2>so like, it doesn't matter that it's the cousin.

0:29:40.160 --> 0:29:41.000
<v Speaker 1>Oh what matters.

0:29:41.120 --> 0:29:44.440
<v Speaker 2>It's so it's so effing weird. The whole thing is

0:29:44.480 --> 0:29:48.080
<v Speaker 2>so effing weird. It is so on many levels of

0:29:48.120 --> 0:29:51.200
<v Speaker 2>like the trying to hide, the paternity, the hiding, the cheating,

0:29:51.360 --> 0:29:53.760
<v Speaker 2>all of this. But the question you've asked is should

0:29:53.760 --> 0:29:55.880
<v Speaker 2>you be the one to tell? And I would be

0:29:55.920 --> 0:29:58.320
<v Speaker 2>doing what you recommended, brit. I would be trying to

0:29:58.720 --> 0:30:01.840
<v Speaker 2>encourage her to I have some truth to this and

0:30:01.880 --> 0:30:04.720
<v Speaker 2>to be as transparent with her husband as she can.

0:30:05.160 --> 0:30:07.320
<v Speaker 2>Maybe she doesn't want to tell the husband that it

0:30:07.360 --> 0:30:09.840
<v Speaker 2>was with a cousin. Maybe she can just give fifty

0:30:09.840 --> 0:30:10.560
<v Speaker 2>percent of the truth.

0:30:10.640 --> 0:30:12.640
<v Speaker 1>Not because if you've told your husband that you cheated

0:30:12.640 --> 0:30:14.320
<v Speaker 1>on him, they're going to want to know who when

0:30:14.760 --> 0:30:15.280
<v Speaker 1>to say it.

0:30:15.800 --> 0:30:18.040
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, and maybe you make up a lie

0:30:18.200 --> 0:30:21.080
<v Speaker 2>because I don't know. Part of me is like, is

0:30:21.120 --> 0:30:23.360
<v Speaker 2>there any benefit of the whole family knowing that you

0:30:23.400 --> 0:30:24.080
<v Speaker 2>fucked your cousin?

0:30:24.120 --> 0:30:26.000
<v Speaker 3>I don't think so. No, there's no benefit at all.

0:30:26.000 --> 0:30:27.680
<v Speaker 1>It will ruin you. It will ruin you.

0:30:27.760 --> 0:30:30.400
<v Speaker 3>It'll ruin you. Yeah, But imagine if Matt came to

0:30:30.400 --> 0:30:31.520
<v Speaker 3>you and said, I need to talk to you. I

0:30:31.560 --> 0:30:32.240
<v Speaker 3>cheated on you.

0:30:32.320 --> 0:30:33.760
<v Speaker 1>Do you think you're going to accept the fact that

0:30:33.760 --> 0:30:35.840
<v Speaker 1>he said, but I'm not telling you who or where.

0:30:35.920 --> 0:30:39.320
<v Speaker 1>You would want every detail, which is normal, it's normal

0:30:39.320 --> 0:30:41.360
<v Speaker 1>to want. I feel like the reason we're tiptoeing around

0:30:41.360 --> 0:30:43.560
<v Speaker 1>this is I think we've been pretty We've been pretty

0:30:43.600 --> 0:30:45.720
<v Speaker 1>open with how we feel. Don't fuck your cousin. That's

0:30:45.720 --> 0:30:48.000
<v Speaker 1>how I feel. I feel that that in my core.

0:30:48.720 --> 0:30:51.880
<v Speaker 1>But you can't fight the law on this, Like, legally,

0:30:51.880 --> 0:30:55.120
<v Speaker 1>you're allowed to, and we've seen that it doesn't have

0:30:55.160 --> 0:30:57.200
<v Speaker 1>that much of a consequence for your children.

0:30:57.360 --> 0:30:59.360
<v Speaker 3>So that's why I think we're stepping on. We can

0:30:59.360 --> 0:31:00.480
<v Speaker 3>say how we feel. I ain't.

0:31:02.360 --> 0:31:02.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm not.

0:31:03.040 --> 0:31:05.720
<v Speaker 3>I'm not. But don't you know someone Laura that married

0:31:05.720 --> 0:31:07.960
<v Speaker 3>their cousin. Yeah? I do. Through friends of friends.

0:31:08.040 --> 0:31:10.560
<v Speaker 2>I know people they're like our parents' age, and they

0:31:10.600 --> 0:31:13.520
<v Speaker 2>have children who are our age, and they've been married

0:31:13.640 --> 0:31:15.800
<v Speaker 2>since they were like just out of beauty, and that's

0:31:15.880 --> 0:31:18.960
<v Speaker 2>their first cousin. So I mean, and don't get me wrong, like,

0:31:19.040 --> 0:31:21.720
<v Speaker 2>of course, everyone is kind of like, wow, that's spicy

0:31:21.760 --> 0:31:24.280
<v Speaker 2>and very very strange. The kids know their parents, The

0:31:24.360 --> 0:31:26.400
<v Speaker 2>kids know their parents and cousins. The kids make jokes

0:31:26.400 --> 0:31:28.040
<v Speaker 2>about it. They're very very aware.

0:31:28.640 --> 0:31:30.200
<v Speaker 3>How else, what else do you do? You have to

0:31:30.200 --> 0:31:30.960
<v Speaker 3>make a joke about it.

0:31:31.040 --> 0:31:33.560
<v Speaker 2>You've grown up your whole life knowing that your parents

0:31:33.560 --> 0:31:37.480
<v Speaker 2>are also cousins. It is very, very very odd. I'm

0:31:37.520 --> 0:31:41.280
<v Speaker 2>not discrediting that their relationship didn't hurt anyone.

0:31:41.560 --> 0:31:43.680
<v Speaker 3>There was not an imbalance of power, there was not

0:31:43.760 --> 0:31:44.480
<v Speaker 3>any abuse.

0:31:44.840 --> 0:31:47.760
<v Speaker 2>They fell in love in Uni their cousins, they got together,

0:31:47.920 --> 0:31:48.640
<v Speaker 2>they have kids.

0:31:48.800 --> 0:31:49.200
<v Speaker 1>The end.

0:31:49.560 --> 0:31:50.280
<v Speaker 3>This is different.

0:31:50.280 --> 0:31:52.760
<v Speaker 2>There is an abuse of power, and there is so

0:31:52.960 --> 0:31:55.200
<v Speaker 2>many levels of lying that have happened here, and that's

0:31:55.200 --> 0:31:57.600
<v Speaker 2>why this is so much more problematic. And that's why

0:31:57.600 --> 0:31:59.760
<v Speaker 2>I have way more of an issue with this situation

0:32:00.280 --> 0:32:03.360
<v Speaker 2>than what I do with like two people who consensually

0:32:03.360 --> 0:32:05.440
<v Speaker 2>decided they wanted to marry their cousins, no matter how

0:32:05.520 --> 0:32:07.000
<v Speaker 2>much we look at that and might think it's weird.

0:32:07.680 --> 0:32:10.160
<v Speaker 1>And at the end of the day, everyone listening is

0:32:10.200 --> 0:32:12.200
<v Speaker 1>going to have a judgment on this. But the question

0:32:12.280 --> 0:32:14.560
<v Speaker 1>isn't about that. The question is about does she just

0:32:14.640 --> 0:32:16.760
<v Speaker 1>tell the husband that's where we're going to come back to,

0:32:16.840 --> 0:32:19.280
<v Speaker 1>And I think it is. I would be going and

0:32:19.320 --> 0:32:21.880
<v Speaker 1>dissing all this information onto her about why I think

0:32:21.920 --> 0:32:24.480
<v Speaker 1>she needs to tell him the reasons I believe, But

0:32:24.520 --> 0:32:26.560
<v Speaker 1>then I'm not taking that on board for myself. I'm

0:32:26.560 --> 0:32:28.000
<v Speaker 1>not gonna go and be the one that tells the husband.

0:32:28.240 --> 0:32:30.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I also think that this woman probably needs a

0:32:30.840 --> 0:32:33.200
<v Speaker 2>lot of support at the moment. I think that there

0:32:33.280 --> 0:32:35.880
<v Speaker 2>is no good outcome in this situation. There is no

0:32:35.960 --> 0:32:39.400
<v Speaker 2>good outcome for anyone involved, And yeah, I think it's

0:32:39.440 --> 0:32:43.160
<v Speaker 2>just really fucking sad. Question number two, I truly believe

0:32:43.160 --> 0:32:45.360
<v Speaker 2>that my ex from ten years ago is who I

0:32:45.400 --> 0:32:48.040
<v Speaker 2>am meant to be with. We were really young and

0:32:48.080 --> 0:32:50.600
<v Speaker 2>it just wasn't the right time back then. However, over

0:32:50.640 --> 0:32:52.800
<v Speaker 2>the years there has been multiple times when we have

0:32:53.000 --> 0:32:56.000
<v Speaker 2>talked about getting back together. There has just always been

0:32:56.080 --> 0:32:58.840
<v Speaker 2>something that's gotten in the way. For example, work commitments,

0:32:58.880 --> 0:33:01.200
<v Speaker 2>personal reasons, or one of us has been in a

0:33:01.240 --> 0:33:04.240
<v Speaker 2>relationship when the other wasn't. Only a few months ago,

0:33:04.320 --> 0:33:06.520
<v Speaker 2>when I was in a short term relationship, I found

0:33:06.560 --> 0:33:09.760
<v Speaker 2>out that he was interested again. I'm not in that

0:33:09.800 --> 0:33:12.480
<v Speaker 2>relationship anymore, but he has just started seeing someone.

0:33:12.960 --> 0:33:13.640
<v Speaker 3>What do I do?

0:33:14.280 --> 0:33:16.640
<v Speaker 2>No matter how much I try to convince myself I'm wrong,

0:33:16.720 --> 0:33:19.480
<v Speaker 2>my gut keeps telling me that it's him and it

0:33:19.520 --> 0:33:21.800
<v Speaker 2>will always be him who I am meant to be with.

0:33:22.240 --> 0:33:24.440
<v Speaker 2>Should I try and talk to him about this? If so,

0:33:24.960 --> 0:33:27.640
<v Speaker 2>what the hell do I say? Or just wait and

0:33:27.680 --> 0:33:30.480
<v Speaker 2>see if time brings us back together again. We didn't

0:33:30.560 --> 0:33:33.000
<v Speaker 2>end things on bad terms and have always stayed friends

0:33:33.000 --> 0:33:34.880
<v Speaker 2>over the years, and I've always felt that there has

0:33:34.920 --> 0:33:37.720
<v Speaker 2>been a connection between us. Is it just the one

0:33:37.760 --> 0:33:39.760
<v Speaker 2>that got away and it's time to let that go?

0:33:40.160 --> 0:33:42.560
<v Speaker 1>Oh? Okay, I have strong feelings about this, so do I?

0:33:42.760 --> 0:33:43.080
<v Speaker 3>Okay?

0:33:43.120 --> 0:33:45.280
<v Speaker 1>I wonder if I was the same my feelings, I yes,

0:33:45.480 --> 0:33:48.360
<v Speaker 1>tell him my feelings are one hundred percent. Give it

0:33:48.400 --> 0:33:50.440
<v Speaker 1>a go, because what have you got to lose. You

0:33:50.560 --> 0:33:53.600
<v Speaker 1>either go back and it works and it's amazing and

0:33:53.640 --> 0:33:56.480
<v Speaker 1>it's the right time, or you go back and you're.

0:33:56.280 --> 0:33:58.920
<v Speaker 3>Like, whoa, what were we thinking? Thinking? Not for us?

0:33:59.120 --> 0:34:00.640
<v Speaker 3>But I can go you one thing.

0:34:00.720 --> 0:34:03.480
<v Speaker 1>If you don't have that conversation and you don't try,

0:34:03.520 --> 0:34:05.800
<v Speaker 1>you've been thinking about this for ten years, you were

0:34:05.800 --> 0:34:08.000
<v Speaker 1>going to think about it for another ten years, twenty years.

0:34:08.040 --> 0:34:10.640
<v Speaker 1>If you meet someone else, it's always going to be

0:34:10.640 --> 0:34:13.280
<v Speaker 1>in the back of your mind, whether you've romanticized the idea,

0:34:13.360 --> 0:34:15.960
<v Speaker 1>Like there's a huge possibility that you have. You've forgotten

0:34:15.960 --> 0:34:18.640
<v Speaker 1>why you broke up and you've just remembered the amazing things.

0:34:18.640 --> 0:34:22.520
<v Speaker 1>We're all guilty of romanticizing in past relationships. But maybe

0:34:22.520 --> 0:34:25.200
<v Speaker 1>you haven't, and maybe there is something really amazing there

0:34:25.239 --> 0:34:28.600
<v Speaker 1>and it was the wrong time. Because I do think

0:34:29.000 --> 0:34:32.120
<v Speaker 1>timing can play a lot into situations and relationships.

0:34:32.160 --> 0:34:34.880
<v Speaker 2>I totally I know we could not be on the

0:34:34.960 --> 0:34:37.840
<v Speaker 2>more same page with this. I do think there's probably

0:34:37.840 --> 0:34:40.840
<v Speaker 2>a very good chance that you have romanticized how perfect

0:34:40.920 --> 0:34:43.120
<v Speaker 2>this person is for you over the past ten years,

0:34:43.280 --> 0:34:45.919
<v Speaker 2>how they're the one that got away. But you have

0:34:46.000 --> 0:34:49.040
<v Speaker 2>to have a conversation about it. You have to lay

0:34:49.040 --> 0:34:52.000
<v Speaker 2>your cards on the table, say exactly how you feel

0:34:52.040 --> 0:34:54.120
<v Speaker 2>and explain to him that you want to have another

0:34:54.160 --> 0:34:57.520
<v Speaker 2>shot at the relationship and see if that is reciprocated.

0:34:57.920 --> 0:35:00.440
<v Speaker 2>And if it's not reciprocated, then you need to mentally

0:35:00.520 --> 0:35:03.880
<v Speaker 2>close that door because if you keep it open indefinitely

0:35:04.040 --> 0:35:06.600
<v Speaker 2>hoping that one time timing is going to align for

0:35:06.640 --> 0:35:09.160
<v Speaker 2>the two of you, you will never ever ever allow

0:35:09.200 --> 0:35:12.560
<v Speaker 2>yourself to be invested in another relationship because no relationship

0:35:12.640 --> 0:35:15.120
<v Speaker 2>is ever going to live up to the fantasy of

0:35:15.239 --> 0:35:18.319
<v Speaker 2>what you have created, also to the time in which

0:35:18.320 --> 0:35:20.799
<v Speaker 2>you had with your ex. Because sometimes we compare new

0:35:20.840 --> 0:35:25.640
<v Speaker 2>relationships with old relationships. You're comparing someone who you've never

0:35:25.719 --> 0:35:29.400
<v Speaker 2>met before to someone who you've had now a decade

0:35:29.560 --> 0:35:32.440
<v Speaker 2>of relationship with because he's also been your friend. So

0:35:32.480 --> 0:35:34.799
<v Speaker 2>no one's ever going to live up to that. And

0:35:34.840 --> 0:35:37.240
<v Speaker 2>so I think, even though he's just started seeing someone,

0:35:37.600 --> 0:35:41.160
<v Speaker 2>it's time and he will make the decision. Okay, yeah,

0:35:41.200 --> 0:35:42.960
<v Speaker 2>well I'm going to give this a shot or I'm not.

0:35:43.520 --> 0:35:46.120
<v Speaker 2>And I really want to say and I say this

0:35:46.160 --> 0:35:50.200
<v Speaker 2>from personal experience. Sometimes what you think a relationship could

0:35:50.239 --> 0:35:53.640
<v Speaker 2>be the second time around is actually just the nail

0:35:53.640 --> 0:35:55.880
<v Speaker 2>in the coffin, the reaffirmation that you needed that the

0:35:55.920 --> 0:35:59.480
<v Speaker 2>relationship doesn't work as a romantic relationship. And I say

0:35:59.480 --> 0:36:02.960
<v Speaker 2>this because in my twenties, I dated someone for almost

0:36:03.000 --> 0:36:05.759
<v Speaker 2>six years and I was convinced that they were the

0:36:05.760 --> 0:36:07.640
<v Speaker 2>person I was supposed to marry. The first night I

0:36:07.680 --> 0:36:09.759
<v Speaker 2>met him, I came home to my mom and I said, Mum,

0:36:09.800 --> 0:36:12.960
<v Speaker 2>I met the man I'm gonna marry tonight. And we

0:36:13.080 --> 0:36:16.040
<v Speaker 2>persevered through so much in that relationship to try and

0:36:16.040 --> 0:36:16.680
<v Speaker 2>make it work.

0:36:16.960 --> 0:36:19.319
<v Speaker 3>We broke up and for.

0:36:21.040 --> 0:36:25.680
<v Speaker 2>Another six years, like I held onto this idea that

0:36:25.719 --> 0:36:27.000
<v Speaker 2>he was the man I was going to be with.

0:36:27.120 --> 0:36:28.920
<v Speaker 2>Right And I'm talking like I had another long term

0:36:28.960 --> 0:36:31.120
<v Speaker 2>relationship in there. I lived with him like it wasn't

0:36:31.120 --> 0:36:33.280
<v Speaker 2>like I didn't date, like I was like very committed,

0:36:33.920 --> 0:36:35.960
<v Speaker 2>but he was always there in the back of my

0:36:36.040 --> 0:36:37.960
<v Speaker 2>head that we were going to end up together. And

0:36:38.040 --> 0:36:41.400
<v Speaker 2>maybe a year before I did The Bachelor, we actually

0:36:41.480 --> 0:36:44.840
<v Speaker 2>gave it another shot and it just wasn't. It just

0:36:44.960 --> 0:36:47.200
<v Speaker 2>wasn't all the things that I had kind of tried

0:36:47.239 --> 0:36:49.840
<v Speaker 2>to forget that were happening in our relationship. You know,

0:36:50.040 --> 0:36:52.120
<v Speaker 2>when we very first were together for that six years,

0:36:52.480 --> 0:36:55.000
<v Speaker 2>they kind of was still there. And like all the

0:36:55.040 --> 0:36:56.800
<v Speaker 2>things that I thought he was so incredible about, he

0:36:57.040 --> 0:36:59.120
<v Speaker 2>is incredible. He's a great guy, but he just wasn't

0:36:59.120 --> 0:37:01.719
<v Speaker 2>the great guy for me and our life. I'd moved on.

0:37:01.880 --> 0:37:03.759
<v Speaker 2>The things I thought I wanted were different to what

0:37:03.800 --> 0:37:05.840
<v Speaker 2>I wanted back then, and it just didn't work.

0:37:06.160 --> 0:37:07.760
<v Speaker 3>But I'm so grateful.

0:37:08.000 --> 0:37:10.200
<v Speaker 2>I am so grateful that we gave it that shot,

0:37:10.239 --> 0:37:12.279
<v Speaker 2>because if we hadn't, I think I would still have

0:37:12.360 --> 0:37:13.319
<v Speaker 2>a bit of a pin for him.

0:37:13.520 --> 0:37:14.880
<v Speaker 3>And this is what I want to say.

0:37:15.000 --> 0:37:18.160
<v Speaker 1>You need a definitive answer, because I genuinely feel sorry

0:37:18.160 --> 0:37:19.959
<v Speaker 1>for you, because I've been in a situation too, Laura,

0:37:20.000 --> 0:37:22.680
<v Speaker 1>for that long where you've thought, maybe we're supposed to

0:37:22.680 --> 0:37:25.560
<v Speaker 1>be together, it wasn't the right time. There is nothing

0:37:25.600 --> 0:37:27.319
<v Speaker 1>worse than that being in the back of your head.

0:37:27.400 --> 0:37:29.799
<v Speaker 1>You don't ever fully move on, you don't ever fully

0:37:29.800 --> 0:37:32.799
<v Speaker 1>immerse yourself in your current relationship. And if you think

0:37:32.800 --> 0:37:34.480
<v Speaker 1>in your gut, which you said, I think in my

0:37:34.520 --> 0:37:36.879
<v Speaker 1>gut we're meant to be together, well that's not fair

0:37:36.920 --> 0:37:38.880
<v Speaker 1>to whether you're with then, and you're never going to

0:37:38.880 --> 0:37:41.080
<v Speaker 1>make that work if your mind is with someone else,

0:37:41.280 --> 0:37:43.439
<v Speaker 1>Go figure that shit out. Ten years is a long

0:37:43.440 --> 0:37:45.560
<v Speaker 1>time of back and forth, actually long. You said that

0:37:45.600 --> 0:37:48.280
<v Speaker 1>you've gone back and forth multiple times talking about getting

0:37:48.320 --> 0:37:50.919
<v Speaker 1>back together, But then you've said, what do I say

0:37:50.960 --> 0:37:51.319
<v Speaker 1>to him?

0:37:52.000 --> 0:37:55.200
<v Speaker 3>Just own it? Just say do you feel what I feel?

0:37:55.280 --> 0:37:58.279
<v Speaker 1>Because for ten years I have tried to move on,

0:37:58.360 --> 0:38:00.440
<v Speaker 1>but I always come back to you, is something here

0:38:00.560 --> 0:38:02.319
<v Speaker 1>or not? Because I just want to know, because it's

0:38:02.360 --> 0:38:05.480
<v Speaker 1>the uncertainty that does your head in life, the not knowing,

0:38:05.800 --> 0:38:08.000
<v Speaker 1>and I personally think life is too short. Don't get

0:38:08.000 --> 0:38:10.080
<v Speaker 1>your answer so you can close the chapter or move on.

0:38:10.680 --> 0:38:13.200
<v Speaker 1>And the only other thing that interests me here is

0:38:13.239 --> 0:38:17.400
<v Speaker 1>you've said recently, I found out he was interested. Again.

0:38:17.640 --> 0:38:20.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm wondering what that means, because that doesn't sound like

0:38:20.640 --> 0:38:22.120
<v Speaker 1>he has come to you and said, let's give it

0:38:22.160 --> 0:38:22.479
<v Speaker 1>a shot.

0:38:22.520 --> 0:38:23.800
<v Speaker 3>I found out he's interested.

0:38:23.880 --> 0:38:27.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm almost wondering if someone, a mutual friend, has said

0:38:27.200 --> 0:38:28.800
<v Speaker 1>something like, you know, I think that there could be

0:38:28.840 --> 0:38:31.160
<v Speaker 1>something there still, it just didn't sound very convincing.

0:38:31.600 --> 0:38:34.879
<v Speaker 3>But you have literally nothing to lose. You don't have him.

0:38:34.960 --> 0:38:36.000
<v Speaker 3>What it does she does.

0:38:36.040 --> 0:38:37.840
<v Speaker 2>The thing that she has to lose is the friendship

0:38:37.880 --> 0:38:41.040
<v Speaker 2>because she's migrated this like romantic relationship into a ten

0:38:41.160 --> 0:38:44.120
<v Speaker 2>year friendship. But the thing I really want to reiterate

0:38:44.200 --> 0:38:46.680
<v Speaker 2>to you is that you are kidding yourself because you're

0:38:46.680 --> 0:38:50.240
<v Speaker 2>not friends, because you don't romantically pine over your friends.

0:38:50.680 --> 0:38:54.320
<v Speaker 2>So either have the conversation and then sever the relationship

0:38:54.360 --> 0:38:56.200
<v Speaker 2>if it doesn't work out, like if he says, I'm

0:38:56.239 --> 0:38:58.560
<v Speaker 2>actually not into you, I just want to stay friends. Sorry,

0:38:58.600 --> 0:39:00.719
<v Speaker 2>I'm really invested in my new or whatever it is.

0:39:01.280 --> 0:39:04.640
<v Speaker 2>You have to put on your big girl panties and say, Okay,

0:39:05.000 --> 0:39:07.160
<v Speaker 2>I think it's probably best for us if we don't

0:39:07.200 --> 0:39:08.960
<v Speaker 2>speak for quite a while, you know, and you need

0:39:09.000 --> 0:39:11.680
<v Speaker 2>to go no contact because it's the only way that

0:39:11.719 --> 0:39:14.040
<v Speaker 2>you're going to break those neurons in your brain that

0:39:14.080 --> 0:39:15.640
<v Speaker 2>tells you that you're connected to him.

0:39:15.680 --> 0:39:16.640
<v Speaker 3>You're wired to him.

0:39:17.320 --> 0:39:19.440
<v Speaker 2>I remember this quote like when I was back in

0:39:19.520 --> 0:39:21.800
<v Speaker 2>my Instagram hashtag quote era, and.

0:39:21.680 --> 0:39:23.520
<v Speaker 1>It was I wish I knew you in that time.

0:39:23.600 --> 0:39:26.160
<v Speaker 2>The right relationship at the wrong time is simply the

0:39:26.200 --> 0:39:29.560
<v Speaker 2>wrong relationship. And it is so true because you can

0:39:29.680 --> 0:39:32.040
<v Speaker 2>keep hoping that the right relationship is going to align

0:39:32.600 --> 0:39:35.719
<v Speaker 2>and it just if it never does, it's never the

0:39:35.800 --> 0:39:36.560
<v Speaker 2>right relationship.

0:39:36.600 --> 0:39:40.080
<v Speaker 1>Okay, kids, sit down, Mama has a story. So my friend,

0:39:40.320 --> 0:39:43.279
<v Speaker 1>a very good friend. She is my age, so thirty six,

0:39:43.320 --> 0:39:46.040
<v Speaker 1>thirty seven, thirty four, thirty five, whatever, No, thirty.

0:39:45.800 --> 0:39:46.399
<v Speaker 3>Six ety seven.

0:39:46.920 --> 0:39:50.320
<v Speaker 1>She was married really young. She got married eighteen nineteen

0:39:50.360 --> 0:39:53.560
<v Speaker 1>to her high school sweetheart, and you know, they felt

0:39:53.560 --> 0:39:55.799
<v Speaker 1>meant to be. That's why they got married. And they

0:39:55.800 --> 0:39:58.840
<v Speaker 1>spent a couple of years together living not in a city,

0:39:58.880 --> 0:40:00.640
<v Speaker 1>like a little bit inland. I don't want to give

0:40:00.680 --> 0:40:03.600
<v Speaker 1>anything away, but anyway, so nothing wrong with their life,

0:40:03.640 --> 0:40:06.279
<v Speaker 1>great life, everything that they wanted to do. And then

0:40:06.360 --> 0:40:09.319
<v Speaker 1>they just realized, and I think she realized more so,

0:40:10.000 --> 0:40:12.520
<v Speaker 1>oh gosh, there's nothing wrong with this relationship. I love

0:40:12.520 --> 0:40:16.280
<v Speaker 1>you so much, but my mind and my thoughts are elsewhere.

0:40:16.280 --> 0:40:17.920
<v Speaker 1>Like I think I want more in life, and I

0:40:18.000 --> 0:40:19.360
<v Speaker 1>want to go different. I want to go travel, I

0:40:19.360 --> 0:40:20.960
<v Speaker 1>want to do this and this and study and move

0:40:21.000 --> 0:40:23.839
<v Speaker 1>different cities. And he was distraught because he's like, wow,

0:40:23.880 --> 0:40:26.520
<v Speaker 1>I thought this was forever. Anyway, they divorced. They broke up,

0:40:26.520 --> 0:40:29.600
<v Speaker 1>and they got a divorce, and she moved to the

0:40:29.640 --> 0:40:32.040
<v Speaker 1>city and started do all these things she wanted to do,

0:40:32.080 --> 0:40:33.240
<v Speaker 1>and years went past.

0:40:33.440 --> 0:40:34.760
<v Speaker 3>They weren't in contact. Years.

0:40:35.600 --> 0:40:38.360
<v Speaker 1>She had a baby with somebody else, and then that

0:40:38.400 --> 0:40:41.200
<v Speaker 1>didn't work out, so she was doing single mum life.

0:40:41.280 --> 0:40:42.040
<v Speaker 3>And then one.

0:40:41.920 --> 0:40:44.279
<v Speaker 1>Day, this is like a movie, she was in a

0:40:44.320 --> 0:40:48.000
<v Speaker 1>supermarket in the New Pound that she'd moved to again,

0:40:48.120 --> 0:40:49.600
<v Speaker 1>so far away from wherever they lived.

0:40:49.600 --> 0:40:51.279
<v Speaker 3>She was in a supermarket and she was walking down

0:40:51.320 --> 0:40:51.680
<v Speaker 3>the aisland.

0:40:51.760 --> 0:40:55.640
<v Speaker 1>She ran into her first husband, her high school sweetheart,

0:40:55.760 --> 0:40:58.440
<v Speaker 1>and they hadn't spoken in year. Speaking of romanticize, yeah,

0:40:58.480 --> 0:40:59.920
<v Speaker 1>it was like ten years or something.

0:41:00.120 --> 0:41:02.120
<v Speaker 3>Caught up because it was not. They didn't end badly.

0:41:02.360 --> 0:41:03.200
<v Speaker 3>How I yep, this.

0:41:03.200 --> 0:41:06.120
<v Speaker 1>Is my son, like you know, like crazy crazy catch up.

0:41:06.120 --> 0:41:07.320
<v Speaker 1>And then they were like, well, you know, we should

0:41:07.320 --> 0:41:10.840
<v Speaker 1>catch up sometimes. So they caught up. They are remarried

0:41:11.120 --> 0:41:15.359
<v Speaker 1>now with another child. They fell back in love and

0:41:15.440 --> 0:41:19.239
<v Speaker 1>realized that it was the perfect example of the right

0:41:19.280 --> 0:41:21.480
<v Speaker 1>person at the wrong time, and that doesn't happen often,

0:41:22.120 --> 0:41:24.480
<v Speaker 1>and they have everything they wanted now. They're back in

0:41:24.520 --> 0:41:27.080
<v Speaker 1>the house they wanted with the kids, the family life,

0:41:27.120 --> 0:41:30.040
<v Speaker 1>beautiful relationship, and it was just they refound each other

0:41:30.080 --> 0:41:33.360
<v Speaker 1>at the right time. So I am a believer that

0:41:33.600 --> 0:41:36.160
<v Speaker 1>you should go and chase this for sure, but not sorry,

0:41:36.160 --> 0:41:39.480
<v Speaker 1>not chase it, investigate it, but you have to be

0:41:39.520 --> 0:41:41.480
<v Speaker 1>ready to close the door if it because that's that

0:41:41.680 --> 0:41:43.800
<v Speaker 1>is a fairy tale, you know, the story I just told.

0:41:43.600 --> 0:41:44.160
<v Speaker 3>It totally is.

0:41:44.200 --> 0:41:46.160
<v Speaker 2>But also the thing that I think is important to

0:41:46.200 --> 0:41:47.960
<v Speaker 2>take from that is that they went and they lived

0:41:47.960 --> 0:41:50.640
<v Speaker 2>their lives hundreds. They didn't sit in the you know,

0:41:50.719 --> 0:41:52.759
<v Speaker 2>in relationships being like, oh my god, I wish I

0:41:52.800 --> 0:41:53.680
<v Speaker 2>was still with my ex.

0:41:53.800 --> 0:41:55.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, they lived their lives.

0:41:55.239 --> 0:41:56.920
<v Speaker 2>She had a kid with someone else, she was in

0:41:56.960 --> 0:42:00.719
<v Speaker 2>other relationships, and then they rekindled and then they made

0:42:00.760 --> 0:42:03.640
<v Speaker 2>that decision. But it's the pining over a love that

0:42:03.719 --> 0:42:06.400
<v Speaker 2>you can't have that means you're robbing yourself from a

0:42:06.440 --> 0:42:10.440
<v Speaker 2>relationship that you deserve. So either have the conversation or

0:42:11.080 --> 0:42:13.120
<v Speaker 2>if you can't have the conversation, you need to go

0:42:13.200 --> 0:42:15.680
<v Speaker 2>cold turkey and sever the friendship then because it's simply

0:42:15.719 --> 0:42:16.520
<v Speaker 2>just not a friendship.

0:42:16.600 --> 0:42:18.680
<v Speaker 3>I agree. Okay, question number three.

0:42:18.800 --> 0:42:20.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm planning on moving out with my boyfriend and our

0:42:20.960 --> 0:42:24.120
<v Speaker 2>two mates in three months to Sydney. For reference, we've

0:42:24.120 --> 0:42:26.400
<v Speaker 2>been dating for six years and I've been friends with

0:42:26.480 --> 0:42:29.400
<v Speaker 2>his mates the whole time. I've been looking at places,

0:42:29.440 --> 0:42:31.880
<v Speaker 2>and I'm just kind of confused as to how couples

0:42:31.960 --> 0:42:35.520
<v Speaker 2>pay rent when they're sharing with friends. Are we expected

0:42:35.520 --> 0:42:38.479
<v Speaker 2>to split the payment evenly by all four of us,

0:42:38.760 --> 0:42:40.319
<v Speaker 2>even though my boyfriend and I are going to be

0:42:40.320 --> 0:42:43.840
<v Speaker 2>sharing the same room. Obviously bills are paid per person,

0:42:43.920 --> 0:42:45.839
<v Speaker 2>but I feel like it's kind of unfair that we

0:42:45.880 --> 0:42:48.520
<v Speaker 2>only get half a room. I haven't moved out before,

0:42:48.560 --> 0:42:50.719
<v Speaker 2>so I'm not sure what roommate etiquette is.

0:42:51.360 --> 0:42:54.799
<v Speaker 3>Oh, I remember these days. This is a tricky one,

0:42:54.880 --> 0:42:55.960
<v Speaker 3>and it's so dependent.

0:42:55.960 --> 0:42:58.719
<v Speaker 1>There's no black and white. It's so dependent on the

0:42:58.719 --> 0:43:01.799
<v Speaker 1>house you move it into rooms you're moving into and

0:43:02.239 --> 0:43:04.640
<v Speaker 1>do you get non suite? Do you get parking? Is

0:43:04.680 --> 0:43:06.799
<v Speaker 1>there any one parking spot? Who's getting that? These people

0:43:06.800 --> 0:43:09.640
<v Speaker 1>are going to pay more, right, But from what I

0:43:09.760 --> 0:43:12.800
<v Speaker 1>experienced and what I saw, if there's a three bedroom

0:43:12.840 --> 0:43:14.879
<v Speaker 1>house and there's a single person and then a single

0:43:14.920 --> 0:43:16.799
<v Speaker 1>person and then a double two people in one room,

0:43:17.080 --> 0:43:19.840
<v Speaker 1>the two people don't pay the three hundred each, but

0:43:19.880 --> 0:43:22.680
<v Speaker 1>they definitely do pay more. You don't split the three

0:43:22.760 --> 0:43:25.439
<v Speaker 1>hundred to one point fifty each because that's not fair

0:43:25.480 --> 0:43:28.239
<v Speaker 1>for everybody else. But you also aren't getting in an

0:43:28.400 --> 0:43:30.560
<v Speaker 1>entire room. So what I used to see when I

0:43:30.600 --> 0:43:34.320
<v Speaker 1>was looking for rentals, it was always, for example, someone

0:43:34.360 --> 0:43:36.440
<v Speaker 1>would say, hey, if you're looking for this room and

0:43:36.480 --> 0:43:36.680
<v Speaker 1>you're a.

0:43:36.680 --> 0:43:40.160
<v Speaker 3>Single person, it's four hundred. If you are a couple that.

0:43:40.120 --> 0:43:43.120
<v Speaker 1>Are moving in, it's six point fifty for example, or

0:43:43.160 --> 0:43:45.520
<v Speaker 1>six hundred. So it's you're paying more, but you're not

0:43:45.560 --> 0:43:47.680
<v Speaker 1>paying exactly double more. You still get a bit of

0:43:47.680 --> 0:43:50.080
<v Speaker 1>a discount because you are only getting half a room,

0:43:50.239 --> 0:43:52.879
<v Speaker 1>but it's not fair to everyone else in the house

0:43:52.920 --> 0:43:53.920
<v Speaker 1>for you to pay half.

0:43:54.520 --> 0:43:56.000
<v Speaker 3>Well, you're not getting half a room. You're still getting

0:43:56.000 --> 0:43:56.439
<v Speaker 3>a whole house.

0:43:56.440 --> 0:43:58.840
<v Speaker 2>You're getting half a room each, but you're getting the

0:43:58.960 --> 0:44:00.760
<v Speaker 2>entire house to live in it to accommay.

0:44:01.000 --> 0:44:03.680
<v Speaker 1>And then usually the person in a house that has

0:44:03.680 --> 0:44:06.000
<v Speaker 1>the double room usually gets a better bathroom or an

0:44:06.000 --> 0:44:08.640
<v Speaker 1>on suite. There's usually stuff attached with the bigger, better room,

0:44:08.760 --> 0:44:11.360
<v Speaker 1>so you definitely have to pay more, just so you know.

0:44:11.960 --> 0:44:14.880
<v Speaker 2>So I had this relatively recently. I mean I was

0:44:14.920 --> 0:44:17.600
<v Speaker 2>pregnant with Matt living and sharing still. Yeah, well Matt,

0:44:17.600 --> 0:44:19.279
<v Speaker 2>when I was pregnant with Marlee, Matt and I shared

0:44:19.320 --> 0:44:21.200
<v Speaker 2>and we lived with housemates. I know when you say

0:44:21.239 --> 0:44:22.759
<v Speaker 2>that was five years ago. When you say recently, I

0:44:22.760 --> 0:44:23.880
<v Speaker 2>thought someone was moving in like a.

0:44:23.920 --> 0:44:26.400
<v Speaker 3>Year ago, we still had recently.

0:44:26.440 --> 0:44:29.160
<v Speaker 2>Well, I guess, like as in when you think about

0:44:29.280 --> 0:44:31.840
<v Speaker 2>us having kids and stuff like that is still pretty recent.

0:44:31.880 --> 0:44:33.520
<v Speaker 2>We are Not only was there two people in the room,

0:44:33.560 --> 0:44:35.360
<v Speaker 2>there were three people in the room. I was pregnant

0:44:35.400 --> 0:44:37.600
<v Speaker 2>living in that house. But we the way we did

0:44:37.600 --> 0:44:40.319
<v Speaker 2>it is we had a three bedroom house and our

0:44:40.440 --> 0:44:42.000
<v Speaker 2>room was the room that had the on suite, so

0:44:42.120 --> 0:44:44.600
<v Speaker 2>it was already a slightly more expensive room, which meant

0:44:44.640 --> 0:44:46.840
<v Speaker 2>that Matt was already paying a little bit more money.

0:44:47.080 --> 0:44:49.440
<v Speaker 2>And then I paid an additional two hundred dollars when

0:44:49.480 --> 0:44:51.799
<v Speaker 2>I moved in a week, so I was paying for

0:44:51.840 --> 0:44:54.360
<v Speaker 2>the space that I was occupying, but I wasn't paying

0:44:54.360 --> 0:44:56.400
<v Speaker 2>additional for the bedroom that he was already in. I

0:44:56.480 --> 0:44:59.040
<v Speaker 2>was just paying to make everybody else's rent go down,

0:44:59.360 --> 0:45:01.640
<v Speaker 2>so Matt's rent stayed the same. I paid an additional

0:45:01.640 --> 0:45:03.920
<v Speaker 2>one hundred dollars of each of their rents, which I

0:45:03.960 --> 0:45:07.399
<v Speaker 2>think was a fair additional payment, and it made their

0:45:07.400 --> 0:45:10.000
<v Speaker 2>rent super affordable, so they were all for it. But

0:45:10.040 --> 0:45:12.000
<v Speaker 2>I guess the big thing is is, don't look at

0:45:12.000 --> 0:45:14.200
<v Speaker 2>this as though you're only getting half a room because

0:45:14.200 --> 0:45:16.400
<v Speaker 2>it's actually a pain in the ask because I'm sure

0:45:16.480 --> 0:45:18.920
<v Speaker 2>so many people have experienced this when you move into

0:45:18.960 --> 0:45:21.880
<v Speaker 2>a house with a friend and then their boyfriend or

0:45:21.920 --> 0:45:25.320
<v Speaker 2>their girlfriend starts coming over all the fucking time, and

0:45:25.360 --> 0:45:29.080
<v Speaker 2>they're not paying anything. Yes, they're sleeping in their bedroom,

0:45:29.360 --> 0:45:32.600
<v Speaker 2>but they are occupying your space. They are occupying the

0:45:32.760 --> 0:45:37.000
<v Speaker 2>lounge room, the kitchen, the fridge, the electricity, all that stuff, so.

0:45:36.960 --> 0:45:39.879
<v Speaker 1>The noise, the air pollution, and also just like you're

0:45:40.040 --> 0:45:43.000
<v Speaker 1>there in a toilet pays and the toilet if they've

0:45:43.040 --> 0:45:45.799
<v Speaker 1>got ibs more toilet paper, thank you, that's it.

0:45:46.160 --> 0:45:47.600
<v Speaker 3>Maybe you buy your own toilet paper.

0:45:47.960 --> 0:45:49.760
<v Speaker 2>But I do think, yeah, I think as a couple,

0:45:49.840 --> 0:45:52.000
<v Speaker 2>you obviously have to pay more. Do I think that

0:45:52.040 --> 0:45:54.600
<v Speaker 2>it's it's double what an individual person pays. No, but

0:45:54.640 --> 0:45:56.719
<v Speaker 2>I do think it needs to be a considerable amount more.

0:45:57.080 --> 0:46:00.160
<v Speaker 2>And I think just had that conversation with them of like, hey, guys,

0:46:00.200 --> 0:46:02.919
<v Speaker 2>if we're putting in three hundred dollars each and there

0:46:03.080 --> 0:46:06.080
<v Speaker 2>is a better bedroom, then I think it's pretty obvious

0:46:06.120 --> 0:46:08.040
<v Speaker 2>that we would take that as the couple who is

0:46:08.080 --> 0:46:11.160
<v Speaker 2>paying the extra additional money if all the bedrooms are

0:46:11.160 --> 0:46:13.600
<v Speaker 2>the same or we're expected to take a bedroom that's

0:46:13.600 --> 0:46:15.880
<v Speaker 2>not as good as, like, you know, the top bedroom,

0:46:16.239 --> 0:46:18.319
<v Speaker 2>then we'll pay a little bit less and we'll work

0:46:18.360 --> 0:46:20.279
<v Speaker 2>it out. But I think that that's just a very

0:46:20.320 --> 0:46:23.040
<v Speaker 2>open conversation that you have to have now while you're looking.

0:46:23.360 --> 0:46:25.560
<v Speaker 2>You definitely can't have it when you find the place

0:46:25.560 --> 0:46:28.239
<v Speaker 2>that you love, because everybody in their head has the

0:46:28.280 --> 0:46:30.920
<v Speaker 2>amount that they're okay to spend. But the problem is

0:46:30.920 --> 0:46:32.520
<v Speaker 2>is that if you're going to spend a little bit more,

0:46:32.560 --> 0:46:33.920
<v Speaker 2>so if you guys are both going to spend two

0:46:34.000 --> 0:46:37.439
<v Speaker 2>fifty each, you're also expecting everybody else's rent to go up.

0:46:37.719 --> 0:46:40.719
<v Speaker 2>So that's why you have to be aware of what

0:46:40.840 --> 0:46:42.839
<v Speaker 2>it is that you either three or four of your

0:46:42.880 --> 0:46:44.760
<v Speaker 2>five you have a moving into this house.

0:46:45.120 --> 0:46:47.160
<v Speaker 3>I'm mutually okay with spending.

0:46:47.120 --> 0:46:50.680
<v Speaker 1>My number one piece of advice here, having lived all

0:46:50.680 --> 0:46:53.640
<v Speaker 1>over the world with people I know, with strangers, like

0:46:53.719 --> 0:46:55.120
<v Speaker 1>so many different kinds of roommates.

0:46:55.200 --> 0:46:56.520
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, same with homeown.

0:46:56.600 --> 0:46:58.839
<v Speaker 1>I've lived with the homeowner, when is it I would

0:46:58.840 --> 0:47:01.359
<v Speaker 1>hate that, like so many different types, and I've lived

0:47:01.360 --> 0:47:03.920
<v Speaker 1>with partners. The one thing that I will say is

0:47:04.239 --> 0:47:09.320
<v Speaker 1>have every conversation done and everyone on the same page.

0:47:09.360 --> 0:47:12.440
<v Speaker 1>And understood about finances completely, not just the rent, but

0:47:12.520 --> 0:47:14.319
<v Speaker 1>how are you going to do the groceries, how you're

0:47:14.320 --> 0:47:16.560
<v Speaker 1>going to do the bills? Everything needs to be sorted

0:47:16.560 --> 0:47:20.279
<v Speaker 1>before you move in, because I guarantee you there will

0:47:20.280 --> 0:47:23.640
<v Speaker 1>be big problems and uncomfortable situations if you don't have those,

0:47:23.719 --> 0:47:26.240
<v Speaker 1>even with friends like you think that my best friend.

0:47:26.280 --> 0:47:26.600
<v Speaker 3>Whatever.

0:47:26.719 --> 0:47:29.719
<v Speaker 1>Money, Money is a crazy thing and does crazy thing

0:47:29.719 --> 0:47:30.160
<v Speaker 1>to people.

0:47:30.280 --> 0:47:33.440
<v Speaker 2>Yes, I think especially with housemates. I think like housemates

0:47:33.440 --> 0:47:36.719
<v Speaker 2>can really be or they don't. Sometimes it doesn't end

0:47:36.760 --> 0:47:38.480
<v Speaker 2>up in big conversations, but it ends up in like

0:47:38.520 --> 0:47:40.399
<v Speaker 2>a lot of resentments and.

0:47:40.360 --> 0:47:41.400
<v Speaker 3>The tension you can cut with.

0:47:41.400 --> 0:47:44.360
<v Speaker 2>And I hate it all the fucking passive aggressive texts

0:47:44.360 --> 0:47:46.440
<v Speaker 2>that you receive and you're like, fuck off, just say

0:47:46.440 --> 0:47:46.959
<v Speaker 2>it to my face.

0:47:47.040 --> 0:47:47.799
<v Speaker 3>Me home in five ou.

0:47:47.880 --> 0:47:49.440
<v Speaker 1>Why eat my fucking NATCHO is the fridge that I

0:47:49.480 --> 0:47:50.919
<v Speaker 1>left over? I was saving this for the last week.

0:47:51.000 --> 0:47:51.280
<v Speaker 3>Britt.

0:47:51.280 --> 0:47:53.520
<v Speaker 2>How did it go when you lived in the house

0:47:53.560 --> 0:47:54.320
<v Speaker 2>with the homeowner?

0:47:55.040 --> 0:47:55.600
<v Speaker 3>Oh?

0:47:55.680 --> 0:47:58.520
<v Speaker 1>He was great, right, he was lovely, But I not

0:47:58.760 --> 0:48:01.560
<v Speaker 1>once ever I felt comfortable. I never felt like I

0:48:01.640 --> 0:48:03.239
<v Speaker 1>was in my own home. And I was paying a

0:48:03.280 --> 0:48:05.080
<v Speaker 1>lot of money for that because it was a beautiful

0:48:05.080 --> 0:48:06.680
<v Speaker 1>home in BONDI like that was when I was like,

0:48:06.719 --> 0:48:08.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to live in I do know that.

0:48:08.120 --> 0:48:09.200
<v Speaker 3>I was about to say, did you fuck him?

0:48:09.200 --> 0:48:10.719
<v Speaker 2>Then I was like, no, I know you remember now,

0:48:11.160 --> 0:48:13.759
<v Speaker 2>definitely did not. You never felt like it was your home.

0:48:13.840 --> 0:48:15.960
<v Speaker 2>You Even when I came over, it was always a

0:48:15.960 --> 0:48:17.520
<v Speaker 2>little bit like we were in Daddy's house.

0:48:18.440 --> 0:48:20.520
<v Speaker 3>Don't go on, Daddy. I can't get that amage out

0:48:20.560 --> 0:48:20.919
<v Speaker 3>of my head.

0:48:20.960 --> 0:48:23.880
<v Speaker 1>Now. I can hear beer Daddy like in his relationship

0:48:24.120 --> 0:48:27.759
<v Speaker 1>Daddy vibe Beard Daddy. No, but it was I never

0:48:27.800 --> 0:48:30.319
<v Speaker 1>felt a home. I don't recommend living with the homeowner

0:48:30.520 --> 0:48:32.560
<v Speaker 1>if you can avoid it, because even though they want

0:48:32.560 --> 0:48:34.680
<v Speaker 1>to make you they're like being home, it's yours, it's

0:48:34.680 --> 0:48:35.120
<v Speaker 1>not yours.

0:48:35.160 --> 0:48:37.479
<v Speaker 2>They own it and they're there. Yeah, and they're there,

0:48:37.920 --> 0:48:39.640
<v Speaker 2>and you just can't. You can't treat it like it's

0:48:39.680 --> 0:48:42.840
<v Speaker 2>you're in space. Yeah, I agree. I've lived in every

0:48:43.000 --> 0:48:45.239
<v Speaker 2>every variation of housemates I've lived with.

0:48:45.360 --> 0:48:46.480
<v Speaker 3>Or you don't want to have sex in there too.

0:48:46.560 --> 0:48:48.000
<v Speaker 1>I remember once I was having sex and that was

0:48:48.080 --> 0:48:49.760
<v Speaker 1>really loud, and I was like, oh my god, Daddy's

0:48:49.760 --> 0:48:50.480
<v Speaker 1>going to hear tomorrow.

0:48:52.920 --> 0:48:56.319
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I don't recommend I've had every variation. I've lived

0:48:56.320 --> 0:48:59.760
<v Speaker 2>with girlfriends, I've lived with strangers. I've lived with girlfriends

0:48:59.800 --> 0:49:02.720
<v Speaker 2>and my boyfriend's moved in. I've lived with a boyfriend

0:49:02.760 --> 0:49:05.640
<v Speaker 2>and friends. I've been pregnant living with housemates. Like, seriously,

0:49:05.680 --> 0:49:07.560
<v Speaker 2>I could not have lived in more variations of like

0:49:07.600 --> 0:49:10.799
<v Speaker 2>housemate living arrangements. And I would just say, like, I

0:49:10.840 --> 0:49:14.320
<v Speaker 2>completely agree with you, Britt. Having all conversations about money

0:49:14.360 --> 0:49:16.840
<v Speaker 2>now is the best way of going about it, and

0:49:16.880 --> 0:49:19.200
<v Speaker 2>you can just gauge it. I think if you're worried

0:49:19.200 --> 0:49:21.400
<v Speaker 2>about like overpaying, I think you can say, hey, guys,

0:49:21.560 --> 0:49:24.240
<v Speaker 2>I've just been looking online at how most places seem

0:49:24.280 --> 0:49:25.600
<v Speaker 2>to divvy up payments.

0:49:26.000 --> 0:49:28.239
<v Speaker 3>This seems to be what is standard. How do you

0:49:28.320 --> 0:49:30.319
<v Speaker 3>feel about this? How you cool with that? And then

0:49:30.360 --> 0:49:31.280
<v Speaker 3>get their opinions.

0:49:31.280 --> 0:49:33.800
<v Speaker 2>They might say, oh, actually, nah, we're all going to

0:49:33.880 --> 0:49:35.719
<v Speaker 2>pitch in three hundred and we think it needs to

0:49:35.719 --> 0:49:38.000
<v Speaker 2>be fair and even, and then you decide whether you're

0:49:38.040 --> 0:49:39.799
<v Speaker 2>okay with that, And if you're not okay with it,

0:49:39.800 --> 0:49:41.640
<v Speaker 2>then maybe you and your boyfriend just move out together.

0:49:41.840 --> 0:49:42.000
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

0:49:42.040 --> 0:49:44.200
<v Speaker 3>And the food shit's a big one. I can't stress

0:49:44.200 --> 0:49:44.640
<v Speaker 3>that enough.

0:49:44.680 --> 0:49:46.960
<v Speaker 1>People are really funny about food I've lived with people

0:49:47.000 --> 0:49:49.120
<v Speaker 1>that have written stuff like their name on stuff like

0:49:49.160 --> 0:49:50.959
<v Speaker 1>the butter. Don't use the scrape of that butter because

0:49:50.960 --> 0:49:52.879
<v Speaker 1>I'll know if there's any bread crumbs in the butter,

0:49:53.000 --> 0:49:55.400
<v Speaker 1>they'll know you used it. That's, you know, speaking from experience.

0:49:55.520 --> 0:49:58.120
<v Speaker 2>Also, what I do want to say is you're living

0:49:58.120 --> 0:50:01.400
<v Speaker 2>with a whole heap of boys. And what I've discovered

0:50:01.440 --> 0:50:03.120
<v Speaker 2>when I live with a lot of obviously live in

0:50:03.160 --> 0:50:05.520
<v Speaker 2>house with my boyfriend and four of his mates, well

0:50:05.520 --> 0:50:08.399
<v Speaker 2>they're gross, but also they eat so much more than

0:50:08.400 --> 0:50:11.880
<v Speaker 2>you eat, and you end up bankrolling their appetite, and

0:50:11.920 --> 0:50:16.520
<v Speaker 2>it is the most frustrating and also just financially depleting thing.

0:50:16.840 --> 0:50:18.000
<v Speaker 3>I really struggled with it.

0:50:18.040 --> 0:50:19.960
<v Speaker 2>And I would have to pitch in the same amount

0:50:20.040 --> 0:50:23.359
<v Speaker 2>to groceries and they would fucking eat everything. So I

0:50:23.360 --> 0:50:26.440
<v Speaker 2>would say consider that because maybe just you and your

0:50:26.440 --> 0:50:28.800
<v Speaker 2>partner go for groceries and then you have some communal

0:50:28.840 --> 0:50:30.920
<v Speaker 2>stuff like you know, the milk or the butter or whatever.

0:50:31.360 --> 0:50:33.759
<v Speaker 2>But I think if you're all just doing like group groceries,

0:50:34.200 --> 0:50:36.439
<v Speaker 2>you will find that you are paying twice as much

0:50:36.480 --> 0:50:39.120
<v Speaker 2>because most of the time guys eat more than girls.

0:50:39.120 --> 0:50:41.520
<v Speaker 3>They just do him to do a shelf, each shelf,

0:50:41.560 --> 0:50:44.400
<v Speaker 3>each pantry each that's it. That's my shit. There's my milk.

0:50:44.840 --> 0:50:45.080
<v Speaker 1>Whatever.

0:50:45.120 --> 0:50:46.520
<v Speaker 3>You get your own butter, you get your own milk.

0:50:46.560 --> 0:50:52.560
<v Speaker 3>I agree, I agree. I think it's time anyway. Yeah,

0:50:52.600 --> 0:50:53.600
<v Speaker 3>that is it from us.

0:50:53.719 --> 0:50:55.960
<v Speaker 1>Guys. Please, if you have your questions, keep them rolling

0:50:56.040 --> 0:50:59.200
<v Speaker 1>into the Instagram. On the interweb lifeun Cut podcast, just

0:50:59.200 --> 0:51:01.960
<v Speaker 1>put ask on cut the top. You'll always say anonymous.

0:51:01.960 --> 0:51:03.560
<v Speaker 1>I promise, even if you haven't sex with your cousin,

0:51:03.640 --> 0:51:04.600
<v Speaker 1>we don't look at who you are.

0:51:04.640 --> 0:51:07.319
<v Speaker 2>We don't look. And also I need an aftermath of this.

0:51:07.680 --> 0:51:10.000
<v Speaker 2>I have to know what you do if you tell

0:51:10.040 --> 0:51:13.840
<v Speaker 2>the husband. If you don't tell the husband, I just oh,

0:51:13.880 --> 0:51:15.760
<v Speaker 2>I won't be able to sleep ever again.

0:51:16.040 --> 0:51:18.439
<v Speaker 1>You've done me over one hundred percent. I'm going to sleep,

0:51:18.440 --> 0:51:19.680
<v Speaker 1>but I'm also gonna think about it. I'm going to

0:51:19.719 --> 0:51:22.120
<v Speaker 1>think about you every day about it. That's worse about

0:51:22.120 --> 0:51:24.239
<v Speaker 1>the cousins, say, sex with cousins, what do we dream

0:51:24.280 --> 0:51:24.600
<v Speaker 1>about that?

0:51:24.640 --> 0:51:25.520
<v Speaker 3>Now? I'm glad I don't.

0:51:25.560 --> 0:51:28.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm not close to my cousins, so like I mean,

0:51:28.040 --> 0:51:30.160
<v Speaker 2>I yeah, like they like them, they're lovely people, but

0:51:30.239 --> 0:51:32.319
<v Speaker 2>like I don't see them enough to ever have to

0:51:32.320 --> 0:51:32.960
<v Speaker 2>worry about these.

0:51:33.080 --> 0:51:34.880
<v Speaker 1>I remember having a crush on my cousin when I

0:51:34.960 --> 0:51:36.880
<v Speaker 1>was like six or seven years old. You know when

0:51:36.880 --> 0:51:39.520
<v Speaker 1>you're with that now, yeah, I don't care. When you're

0:51:39.560 --> 0:51:41.839
<v Speaker 1>six and seven, you've got no concept of who they are.

0:51:41.880 --> 0:51:43.880
<v Speaker 1>And he was like, oh he was a girl. He

0:51:43.920 --> 0:51:45.279
<v Speaker 1>was like ten years older than me, and you're like,

0:51:45.280 --> 0:51:47.319
<v Speaker 1>he's a hotty. D's a teenager. You know, he's at

0:51:47.400 --> 0:51:49.480
<v Speaker 1>high school. And for me, he was just like this

0:51:49.520 --> 0:51:51.080
<v Speaker 1>person we used to hang out with. But I remember

0:51:51.160 --> 0:51:52.799
<v Speaker 1>it wasn't a crush crush, like I liked him, you're

0:51:52.800 --> 0:51:55.120
<v Speaker 1>six years old, But it was like, you know, when

0:51:55.160 --> 0:51:57.360
<v Speaker 1>you're Marley likes to hang out with guys, you know

0:51:57.440 --> 0:51:57.920
<v Speaker 1>what they like.

0:51:58.040 --> 0:51:59.319
<v Speaker 3>I always I take it back.

0:51:59.360 --> 0:52:01.000
<v Speaker 2>I had to crush my cousin too, but he was

0:52:01.040 --> 0:52:05.000
<v Speaker 2>my stepdad's sister's son, so not technically related.

0:52:05.080 --> 0:52:07.279
<v Speaker 3>No, you've got no idea I could have had sex

0:52:07.320 --> 0:52:07.640
<v Speaker 3>with him.

0:52:07.920 --> 0:52:10.120
<v Speaker 1>I reckon most people listening, or a lot of people

0:52:10.200 --> 0:52:12.719
<v Speaker 1>would understand what we're talking about. Have that crush on

0:52:12.719 --> 0:52:15.680
<v Speaker 1>someone in your family that you don't know, No, but

0:52:15.719 --> 0:52:17.640
<v Speaker 1>when you've got no concept, you're young enough that you

0:52:17.680 --> 0:52:19.960
<v Speaker 1>don't know who they are. But none of us are

0:52:19.960 --> 0:52:21.360
<v Speaker 1>having sex with our cousins.

0:52:21.480 --> 0:52:23.560
<v Speaker 2>I think you get over a certain age and that

0:52:23.719 --> 0:52:25.280
<v Speaker 2>all kind of falls by the wayside.

0:52:25.360 --> 0:52:27.560
<v Speaker 3>Kisha is horrified. Horrified.

0:52:27.680 --> 0:52:32.000
<v Speaker 1>Imagine if your cousin was Chanting Taina, you would fuck

0:52:32.040 --> 0:52:32.440
<v Speaker 1>your cousin.

0:52:33.040 --> 0:52:35.040
<v Speaker 3>If your cousin was Jason, Mamo or Laurie, we would.

0:52:35.520 --> 0:52:38.120
<v Speaker 3>You'd do it. You'd bend the rules, wouldn't you. All Right,

0:52:38.160 --> 0:52:41.640
<v Speaker 3>that's it from us. I like and subscribe later.

0:52:41.560 --> 0:52:43.560
<v Speaker 2>Review anyway, you.

0:52:43.520 --> 0:52:46.120
<v Speaker 5>Know the drill mum te Doug tee friends and share

0:52:46.160 --> 0:53:03.080
<v Speaker 5>the love because we love it. There are no ways