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Speaker 1: She's on the Money. She's on the Money. Hello and

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Speaker 1: welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast for millennials

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Speaker 1: who want financial freedom. My name is Georgia King. I'm

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Speaker 1: a copywriter and journalism student with some money smarts, but

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Speaker 1: still with stacks to learn. Thankfully, as always, I am

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Speaker 1: joined by the lady with all of the money smarts,

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Speaker 1: financial advisor, Victoria to fine.

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Speaker 2: Hello, Georgia, I am well that's good.

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Speaker 1: Now today on the show we are going to be

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Speaker 1: talking STDs, but not the itchy ones we usually hear

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Speaker 1: about loll oh.

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Speaker 2: You funny gals.

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Speaker 1: Instead, we are going to be chatting about sexually transmitted debt, which, yes,

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Speaker 1: may sound a little crass or even a little far fetched,

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Speaker 1: but trust us, it is a very real thing. In fact,

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Speaker 1: a recent study found that fifty two percent of Australians

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Speaker 1: had lied about their debts or hidden spendings those close

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Speaker 1: to them. Now, before we do unpack this huge topic, though, Victoria,

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Speaker 1: how's your week been, money wins or confessions? What's been happening?

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Speaker 2: Straight into it, straight into I have had a great week, Georgia. Key, Before,

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Speaker 2: thank you so much for those playing along home. It

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Speaker 2: has been my birthday recently, which means lots of money wins,

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Speaker 2: lots of being spoilt and looked after, which I am

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Speaker 2: very very grateful for. But when I was thinking about

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Speaker 2: it this week, I was like, what money win do

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Speaker 2: I actually have that I can share That I think

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Speaker 2: is my favorite money win of the week. And it's

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Speaker 2: not birthday related. I just wanted to know it was

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Speaker 2: my birthday. I needed a little bit of attention. My

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Speaker 2: money win is that I have actually started doing my

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Speaker 2: own Shollac nails at home and it is so much

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Speaker 2: easier than I thought it would be.

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Speaker 1: What even is Schillac?

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Speaker 2: What do you mean? What is Shilac? Are you whoa ob?

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Speaker 1: Sorry nail?

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Speaker 2: So it's like a gel manicure that you can do

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Speaker 2: at home that sets under an led light, that lasts

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Speaker 2: for I think mine last for about ten to fifteen

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Speaker 2: days in perfect nick, which I love. But because I

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Speaker 2: live in the Melbourne CBD or close to the Melbourne CBD,

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Speaker 2: usually pay about forty forty five dollars for a manicure,

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Speaker 2: we Shillac Okay, depending on where you go, can be

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Speaker 2: a little bit more expensive than that. And I bought

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Speaker 2: my Shillac kit for a whole fifty dollars, including three colors,

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Speaker 2: a top and a base coat of it. Yeah, and

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Speaker 2: I have done probably upwards of five manicures over the

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Speaker 2: last that's great. A couple of months on myself, and

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Speaker 2: I think that's a pretty good money we win.

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Speaker 1: You'll have to do me a little.

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Speaker 2: I want to do a little manicure. Well, we can

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Speaker 2: do it right after we've finished recording.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, sounds good.

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Speaker 2: So Georgia King, before I ask you if you want

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Speaker 2: a manicure, would you like to tell me a money

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Speaker 2: win or confession.

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of people have probably done this

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Speaker 1: over the last little while. They've quit their gym memberships.

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Speaker 2: Oh I need to do that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, because the gyms have been closed, I think

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Speaker 1: a lot of reopened now. But I had to say no,

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Speaker 1: go because now I'm living with mum and dad. I'm

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Speaker 1: an hour and a half away from the gym. It

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Speaker 1: just isn't plausible anymore. Yeah, so yeah, I'm not paying

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Speaker 1: for that. And I've actually found heaps of good YouTube

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Speaker 1: kind of pilates and yoga videos.

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Speaker 2: So also, if you've got a favorite still.

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Speaker 1: Sculpted yoga with Adrian is my fet Oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: I loved you Yes, I love her. She's beautiful.

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Speaker 2: She is beautiful, and her voice is so calming.

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Speaker 1: She's such a chiller and she's not pretentious at all.

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Speaker 2: No, I love it. I actually got my mum onto

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Speaker 2: them and now she does them. I love it.

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Speaker 1: It's good and it's free and it's amazing and yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm xen.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and you can set up a little yoga studio

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Speaker 2: or light exactly. It's a really nice afternoon with Adre.

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Speaker 1: That's what's happened in my world.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I'm excited that you found her.

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Speaker 1: Now, let us take a quick little look at the

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Speaker 1: Facebook community, Victoria. Did anyone stand out to you this week?

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Speaker 2: Yes, they did, Georgia King, I am actually really excited.

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Speaker 2: I have a money win from our friend Miranda.

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Speaker 1: Miranda, you would.

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Speaker 2: Have seen this post.

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Speaker 1: I think we all saw.

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Speaker 2: I think we all saw this post because it got

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Speaker 2: more than ten thousand lives. So, she said, good news story.

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Speaker 2: In April twenty eighteen, I got my pre approval with

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Speaker 2: my boyfriend at the time, ready to buy our house,

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Speaker 2: and he left her three days later. It's not great. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: let's call him that, she said. I was heartbroken, had

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Speaker 2: no idea how it'd ever be able to afford a

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Speaker 2: home on my own. So I worked as hard as

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Speaker 2: I could, got myself a job and promotion, and saved

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Speaker 2: everything I earned after looking at properties for the last

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Speaker 2: twelve months and always losing out and getting my heart

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Speaker 2: broken again and again by getting way too attached properties.

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Speaker 2: Last week she bought her own home one hundred percent

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Speaker 2: on her own, with no help. And she has the

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Speaker 2: cutest photo of her putting her souled sticker up, so cute.

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Speaker 2: I love this and.

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Speaker 1: I did it all of the community.

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Speaker 2: Literally, there were so many pieces of engagement on that

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Speaker 2: it was insane. Yeah, I loved it anyway, Miranda, congratulations.

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Speaker 2: That is so exciting and I'm so glad that she's

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Speaker 2: on the money community was the space you wanted to

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Speaker 2: share that with absolutely, Georgia. Do you have one or

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Speaker 2: did you try and pick Miranda's as well?

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Speaker 1: I wanted Miranda's as well, but I'll let you have it.

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Speaker 1: I've chosen one from Brie, who has a money win

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Speaker 1: as well. She's essentially said that she's sorted out her

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Speaker 1: phone plan after months of putting it off, and she's

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Speaker 1: now halved her monthly bill. She said she'd tried a

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Speaker 1: few times already, but it was always kind of half

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Speaker 1: hearted and now she's got it done, so she's pocketing

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Speaker 1: that away for some savings.

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Speaker 2: And again is that.

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Speaker 1: I'm very inspired by that because I'm paying a ridiculous

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Speaker 1: amount for my phone, and maybe you need to do

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Speaker 1: that this week, Maybe I do.

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Speaker 2: Maybe that's your plan for this week and next week

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Speaker 2: on the pod, you can say that your money win

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Speaker 2: was fixing your phone, inspired by by Brie, inspired by

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Speaker 2: our friend Brie.

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Speaker 1: All right, well, we'll check back in next week, won't we.

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Speaker 2: I'm following up on that alright.

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Speaker 1: It now onto the main topic of today's show, sexually

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Speaker 1: transmitted debt. Now, for those who are only hearing this

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Speaker 1: term for the first time today, you are not alone,

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Speaker 1: but essentially. Sexually transmitted debt is the situation of absorbing

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Speaker 1: some form of your partner's debt when getting into a relationship.

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Speaker 1: As I'm sure most of us know, those first few

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Speaker 1: months of falling in love can be so very intoxicating,

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Speaker 1: so intoxicating in fact, that we can forget who we are,

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Speaker 1: what our goals are, and some of us can find

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Speaker 1: ourselves taking care of our lover's' financial qualms because we

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Speaker 1: just want to help them. We can't really picture a

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Speaker 1: world where things go about with this person who we love,

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Speaker 1: despite the proof that love is a lie. Just kidding, aha,

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Speaker 1: but quite genuinely, love really doesn't always end well. And

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Speaker 1: if you're not aware of some of the STD flags

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Speaker 1: we're going to be taking you through today, you could

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Speaker 1: find yourself in a lot of trouble down the line. Victoria,

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Speaker 1: please talk us through a little bit more about sexually

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Speaker 1: transmitted debt and why it's something that we and especially

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Speaker 1: women really need to be mindful of.

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Speaker 2: This is a topic that I wanted to talk about

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Speaker 2: on the podcast last season, but we obviously ran out

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Speaker 2: of room and had a whole heap of content that

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Speaker 2: we wanted to cover. But it is something that I

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Speaker 2: think is so important to discuss because it is something

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Speaker 2: that I have seen time and time again pop up

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Speaker 2: in my office and I didn't expect it. So I

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Speaker 2: obviously have gone to school and learned how to be

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Speaker 2: a financial advisor and done all of those exciting things.

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Speaker 2: I did not realize the amount of times people would

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Speaker 2: come into my office and say, Victoria, I really need help.

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Speaker 2: I'm in a lot of debt, and I go, yep, cool, No, problems,

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Speaker 2: you're on your partner. You come in and we'll have

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Speaker 2: a meeting and they go, oh, Victoria, my partner doesn't know.

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Speaker 2: And this is terrifying for a couple of reasons, because one,

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Speaker 2: if you're not able to have money conversations with your partner, like,

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Speaker 2: there's probably an issue there and we need to be

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Speaker 2: able to get you to that stage. But two, there's

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Speaker 2: often a lot of secrecy around this type of thing,

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Speaker 2: so sexually transmitted debt can be a whole heap of things.

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Speaker 2: So it could be Yeah, it could be you getting

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Speaker 2: in a relationship with someone who has a really bad

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Speaker 2: credit score, and six months into the relationship they want

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Speaker 2: to buy a new car and they don't have a

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Speaker 2: credit score that gets the car. So you go, honey,

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Speaker 2: I love you, no problems, let's just get it in

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Speaker 2: my name, and you make the repayments. And then a

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Speaker 2: couple of months later you separate and you're left with

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Speaker 2: the loan and they're left with the car. And I've

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Speaker 2: seen that before. I've also seen couples where more recently,

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Speaker 2: and unfortunately this is stereotyped, but it does happen in

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Speaker 2: every type of relationship. The wife came in and said

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Speaker 2: to me, look, Victoria, I'm in a bit of debt.

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Speaker 2: I'd love you help to consolidate it. You know. We

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Speaker 2: sat down and I said, no problems, like, this is

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Speaker 2: something that we can help with. Let's work out a

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Speaker 2: plan for you. How much debt are you in? And

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Speaker 2: she said, look, I'm probably in like twenty thousand dollars

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Speaker 2: worth of debt. And I was like, oh that's a lot. Okay,

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Speaker 2: no problems, Like how did you do this? She's like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I've just got a couple of credit cards. And one

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Speaker 2: thing led to another. Georgia started probing around and we

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Speaker 2: realized that she was in a whole lot more than

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Speaker 2: twenty thousand dollars worth of credit card debt. She's actually

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Speaker 2: in six figures worth of credit card debt. And the

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Speaker 2: painful part here is that her partner did not know.

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Speaker 2: So we worked through how to tell him, and she

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Speaker 2: wasn't comfortable telling him on his own, so he and

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Speaker 2: up coming into the office and like, we mapped it

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Speaker 2: all out and explained how we're going to get out

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Speaker 2: of this.

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Speaker 1: How did it go?

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Speaker 2: It didn't go well. Thankfully, they're still in a relationship

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Speaker 2: and they're working through it together. But I do know

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Speaker 2: that this is the type of thing that actually breaks

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Speaker 2: relationships as well.

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Speaker 1: Finances one of the number one things.

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Speaker 2: It is the number one thing that people fight over.

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Speaker 2: So for me, that was really hard, but I know

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Speaker 2: it was even harder for them. And that was just

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Speaker 2: a really challenging situation because he didn't know but to

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Speaker 2: get out of the debt, it involved him significantly. So

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Speaker 2: they needed to change their living situation. They needed to

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Speaker 2: change the way that they had structured their lives. And

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Speaker 2: at the end of the day, he just didn't know

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Speaker 2: that it was an issue. Like he had no idea

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Speaker 2: how expensive the bags and the shoes and all of

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Speaker 2: the items she was bringing home were. He just assumed,

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Speaker 2: all right, well, she must be spending from her savings

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Speaker 2: because they had separate finances. So for me, it's a

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Speaker 2: massive issue. It could be small things, it could be

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Speaker 2: large things. It could be you getting into a new

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Speaker 2: relationship and your partner has a personal law that you

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Speaker 2: didn't know about. Are you liable for that? What does

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Speaker 2: that actually look like for you? Like does that become

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Speaker 2: a joint debt or does it become a debt that

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Speaker 2: they need to pay off and over the long term,

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Speaker 2: that kind of debt actually carries with you and impacts

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Speaker 2: your ability to achieve shared goals. So if your partner

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Speaker 2: is in significant personal debt or your impersonal debt, you

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Speaker 2: are not going to be able to achieve the goals

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Speaker 2: that you set out to achieve as fast as you

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Speaker 2: would like to. And whilst that's okay, we need to

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Speaker 2: be really realistic about what we're working together towards. So, George,

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Speaker 2: as you mentioned, and STD is actually a much more

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Speaker 2: sinister concept than its playful acronym would lead you to believe.

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Speaker 2: Sounds funny, It sounds I mean, they're never funny, and

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Speaker 2: I think that they're called SDIS nowadays. Any excellent, Yeah, absolutely,

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Speaker 2: we've taken over SDD, thank you. But sexually transmitted debt

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Speaker 2: is one of the things that we need to be

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Speaker 2: so aware of because it is often so hard to spot,

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Speaker 2: because it often occurs in a loving relationship, and it

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Speaker 2: can be really hard to deal with. It impacts one

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Speaker 2: in six people in a study that I was recently reading,

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Speaker 2: and an estimated nine hundred and twenty one billion dollars

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Speaker 2: has been acquired by Americans, So this is an American study,

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Speaker 2: but it's been acquired by Americans in the form of

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Speaker 2: sexually transmitted debt. According to Finder dot com dot AU,

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Speaker 2: that is a huge That is a massive number. Imagine

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Speaker 2: that being taken on in a relationship like I can't imagine.

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Speaker 2: And thankfully, I am in a very lucky position where

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Speaker 2: I've always been really open and honest with my money

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Speaker 2: story with my partner, So I'm not in a position

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Speaker 2: where I carry that kind of thing. But Philip, for

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Speaker 2: a lot of people, Yeah, for a lot of people,

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Speaker 2: it's not as easy to talk about, and that's why

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Speaker 2: we're here, Georgia. Yes, But also if I was in

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Speaker 2: that position, like, I don't know how comfortable I actually

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Speaker 2: would have been telling a new partner, hey, like, you know,

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Speaker 2: do you want to come over for dinner? Also got

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Speaker 2: some credit card debt?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 2: Where does that come up in the conversation?

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Speaker 1: Is there anything else we need to be mindful of,

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Speaker 1: any other stats you can throw at me.

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Speaker 2: So overall, it's actually more likely the women would take

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Speaker 2: on their partners. So overall, women are actually more likely

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Speaker 2: to take on their partner's debt, which I don't think

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Speaker 2: any of us would be surprised by that statistic. With

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Speaker 2: roughly fifty three percent of women accepting their significant other's

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Speaker 2: debt versus forty seven percent of men accepting their significant

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Speaker 2: others debt. Still pretty even, let's call it even, but

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Speaker 2: I'm not surprised that women are a little bit higher. However,

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Speaker 2: the amount of debt that women are taking on is

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Speaker 2: roughly half of what men are, so that was interesting.

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Speaker 2: With the average men assuming about thirty one, seven hundred

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Speaker 2: and forty dollars of debt versus the average woman, who

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Speaker 2: is taking on about fifteen thousand, six hundred and eighty

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Speaker 2: one dollars. Those are big numbers regardless of what side

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Speaker 2: it is, but I'm not surprised that it's the women

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Speaker 2: that are carrying more debt because you know, we could

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Speaker 2: jump into a full argument about gender pay gap and

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Speaker 2: mary gender inequality in the fact that women often do

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Speaker 2: end up taking or more debt to live their lifestyles.

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Speaker 2: Interesting stats because more women are taking on debt, but

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Speaker 2: those women are taking on less debt, and when men

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Speaker 2: take on debt, they're taking on more. So while women

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Speaker 2: are more likely than men to contract debt due to

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Speaker 2: purchases made in their name, men are more likely than

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Speaker 2: women to take on debt due to marriage so thirty

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Speaker 2: four percent of men compared with thirty two percent of women.

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Speaker 2: So just some more stats to be you know, just

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Speaker 2: transparent about this, like they're quite even, but I think

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Speaker 2: it's worthy of consideration. And like, as we're doing some

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Speaker 2: research for this topic, I was really shocked about how

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Speaker 2: many people are actually taking on their partner's debt because

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Speaker 2: you're going, oh, sexually transmit a debt. Haha, that sounds funny,

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Speaker 2: but it's real. Like you get in a relationship and

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Speaker 2: you take on a lot of their responsibilities, whether that's

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Speaker 2: going into a relationship with someone who has children and

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Speaker 2: assuming a position of responsibility there, or like it could

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Speaker 2: even be about pets, or you know, you could get

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Speaker 2: in a relationship with someone who has a mortgage and

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Speaker 2: you make the joint decision to start contributing to that mortgage. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I think it's really important to start talking about things

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Speaker 2: like debt because we all assume that there's quote baggage

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Speaker 2: that people carry, but sometimes it's hidden. How do we

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Speaker 2: have this conversation.

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Speaker 1: And we will get to that you did mention before

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Speaker 1: you had a lady that was in strife to do

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Speaker 1: you see this a lot in your line of work?

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Speaker 2: I do, and it's terrifying the amount of people that

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Speaker 2: come to me. And I feel really grateful that I'm

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Speaker 2: in a position where I'm trusted enough for you to

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Speaker 2: come to me and say, Victoria, I really need help,

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Speaker 2: Like always welcome that with open arms. But the issue

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Speaker 2: here is that so much of it is actually hidden

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Speaker 2: from their partners. And I just find that that is

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Speaker 2: a non constructive position to be in, because how can

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Speaker 2: you build a life together if you can't understand what

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Speaker 2: you are building with? Yeah, So, Georgia, as much as

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Speaker 2: I see it in my office, the stats actually show

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Speaker 2: us that couples just aren't having these money conversations at all.

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Speaker 2: And a recent study by Relationships Australia found that for

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Speaker 2: most survey respondents, the state of their partner's finances what's

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Speaker 2: not important to them. So that was fifty three percent

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Speaker 2: of little importance, which is it's going insane as issue.

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Speaker 2: You wouldn't care about your partner's income. Like as much

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Speaker 2: as we say, look, it doesn't matter what you earn,

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Speaker 2: it's what you do with it, I think it's also

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Speaker 2: really important to talk about it, like it doesn't matter

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Speaker 2: if your partner earns twenty thousand dollars or two hundred

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Speaker 2: thousand dollars. I think it's so important to be on

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Speaker 2: the same page about how you can work together. And

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Speaker 2: I don't think that there's any shame in what you earn,

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Speaker 2: regardless of what it is. I think it just is

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Speaker 2: constructive to share that with your partner. Often when we

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Speaker 2: start talking about like, oh, door Jo, what do you earn?

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Speaker 2: Like you could feel shame around that, But at the

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Speaker 2: end of the day, that shouldn't be a thing if

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Speaker 2: you're in a relationship with a trusting partner, exactly, Like

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Speaker 2: if you are worried about disclosing what you earn because

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Speaker 2: you're worried about them judging you, I think you need

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Speaker 2: to have a bigger think about why that relationship isn't

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Speaker 2: as functional as it should be.

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Speaker 1: Exactly. Would you say that shame is the main reason

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Speaker 1: that people aren't having these conversations from the outset?

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Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely, because nobody, and I mean nobody gets into

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Speaker 2: debt on purpose. Yeah, like no one goes out and

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Speaker 2: gets a credit card. Instance, do you know what, Georgia,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to rack up this debt and then I'm

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Speaker 2: going to carry it like the biggest hard and I've

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Speaker 2: ever had? How great is that?

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Speaker 1: Not a thing?

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Speaker 2: Nobody does that. Everybody gets a credit card or a

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Speaker 2: line of credit to help them out in one way

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Speaker 2: or another, so no one wants to be here. And

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Speaker 2: then once you do get there, often there is a

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Speaker 2: lot of shame around that because you're in a position

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Speaker 2: that makes you look and I'm not saying that this

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Speaker 2: is true, but this is the perception of people who

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Speaker 2: are in debt. It makes you look like you weren't

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Speaker 2: in control. And no one ever wants to feel like

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Speaker 2: they weren't in control or admit to not being in control,

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Speaker 2: when in reality, the only thing that that means, Like

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Speaker 2: if you're in debt, the only thing that means is

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Speaker 2: that you just spent more than you weren't and that

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Speaker 2: is it. And we just need to create a plan

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Speaker 2: to get you out of that debt. We need to

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Speaker 2: work on your budget, we need to work on your

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Speaker 2: cash flow and just go, okay, well we need to

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Speaker 2: allocate some of your cash flow to debt reduction and

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Speaker 2: make sure that happens. And whilst I've seen much bigger

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Speaker 2: cases where you know, partners have racked up one hundred

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Speaker 2: and fifty thousand dollars of personal debt without telling their partner.

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Speaker 2: I think that it is really important to just be transparent.

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Speaker 2: If you are spending and you're not telling your partner,

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Speaker 2: I think that you need to probably have that conversation

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Speaker 2: and create a cash flow system that works for you both.

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Speaker 2: Whilst I don't think that every relationship needs to have

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Speaker 2: shared finances, I do believe that every single relationship needs

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Speaker 2: to have transparent finances.

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Speaker 1: On the other side of the coin, what would you

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Speaker 1: do if you think your partner has a lot of debt?

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Speaker 1: You just suspect it. I don't know why you would,

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Speaker 1: but say that's an issue for someone there, I'll just.

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Speaker 2: Go through their personal belongings. No, absolutely not. I think

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Speaker 2: it would just be about calling it out early. As

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Speaker 2: I said before, it is so important to trust your partner.

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Speaker 2: It is so important to be in a relationship where

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Speaker 2: you can have open and honest conversations. And my opinion

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Speaker 2: is that you just need to approach everything with kindness.

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Speaker 2: So if this is a topic that you want to

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Speaker 2: be tackling with your partner, I think it's important for

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Speaker 2: you to have a little bit of a reflection time

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Speaker 2: before you do it, because this is not going to

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Speaker 2: be easy for them, there is a reason they haven't

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Speaker 2: told you. It's not because they don't want to tell you.

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Speaker 2: It's often because they are either carrying a lot of

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Speaker 2: shame about telling you, or there's potentially an addiction associated

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Speaker 2: with that, or there is another reason why they carry

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Speaker 2: that debt that they haven't felt comfortable telling you about.

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Speaker 2: Because at the end of the day, if it was

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Speaker 2: something that they were really proud of, they would have

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Speaker 2: told you. And I think that that needs to be

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Speaker 2: really taken into consideration before you jump down someone's throat

403
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Speaker 2: and be like, but are you in a heap of debt?

404
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Speaker 2: Like I just assume. So it's not even about you know,

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Speaker 2: finding facts or finding proof of this. I think it's

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Speaker 2: more about saying, hey, Georgia, you know, I feel like

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Speaker 2: maybe we're in a little bit of financial stress at

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Speaker 2: the moment. I'm not comfortable talking about money. I would

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Speaker 2: love to be more comfortable talking about money. Where can

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Speaker 2: we both start? And often that starts with you being

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Speaker 2: more transparent about your situation and you talking to your

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Speaker 2: partner in a way that you would want to be

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Speaker 2: talked to. Yeah, So approaching every situation with empathy rather

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Speaker 2: than going, oh, well you need to tell me because

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Speaker 2: I deserve to know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's probably not the right angle.

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Speaker 2: No, it's not the right angle aggressive. Yeah, I think

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Speaker 2: that you just need to be approaching that situation with

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Speaker 2: a whole heap of kindness because that person potentially hasn't

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Speaker 2: told you because they aren't comfortable, So it is your

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Speaker 2: job to make them feel comfortable with that situation.

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Speaker 1: What steps would you say we can take to avoid

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Speaker 1: ending up in this situation altogether, apart from like staying

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Speaker 1: single forever and dying alone. You know what I'm saying, Oh.

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Speaker 2: That's actually really great advice. We should have a relationship podcast.

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Speaker 2: That would be a really good idea. Let's go back

427
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Speaker 2: to what I was saying before about transparency. We need

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Speaker 2: to share information and just stay informed. Start these conversations

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Speaker 2: early in your relationship. And I know a lot of

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Speaker 2: you are going to be listening to this and be

431
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:54,080
Speaker 2: like Victoria, But I've been in a relation for five

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Speaker 2: years or ten years or thirty years, and I can't

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Speaker 2: just start these conversations out of the blue. If if

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Speaker 2: you're in a new relationship, I think it's important to

435
00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:05,159
Speaker 2: just start discussing things, being open and honest when you

436
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:08,000
Speaker 2: guys are planning your first weekend away or a joint

437
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:10,920
Speaker 2: venture that you're going to do together, be like, Okay,

438
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:12,959
Speaker 2: no problems, let's go away for the weekend. What's our

439
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:16,160
Speaker 2: budget and settle on a budget together that you are

440
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:19,159
Speaker 2: both comfortable with. Because it is so easy in a

441
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,879
Speaker 2: new relationship to just get swept up in things and

442
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,320
Speaker 2: go oh, would so love to go away, And then

443
00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:27,240
Speaker 2: you're stressed the entire time because you didn't tell him

444
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,600
Speaker 2: or her that you had forty dollars to your name

445
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:31,119
Speaker 2: and you're putting it all on credit and you were

446
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,880
Speaker 2: hoping that they wouldn't notice. You want to impress them,

447
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:38,080
Speaker 2: but there's nothing impressive about going into debt. So I

448
00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:41,879
Speaker 2: think it's important to just start relationships being open and honest.

449
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:44,719
Speaker 2: But if you're already in a relationship and you're not

450
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:48,080
Speaker 2: talking about money, I think it's just about baby steps.

451
00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:52,000
Speaker 2: It's about introducing the topic. If you're not across the finances,

452
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:54,720
Speaker 2: show an interest, don't jump up down and say, oh

453
00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:57,520
Speaker 2: I need to understand this, what the hell? I think

454
00:20:57,520 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 2: it's just about saying like, hey, I don't get to

455
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:01,919
Speaker 2: see our credit card statements? Can you just take me

456
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,960
Speaker 2: through them? So I better understand them, or hey, honey,

457
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:08,119
Speaker 2: like I'd love to talk about money more often. Something

458
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:11,080
Speaker 2: that I recommend to my clients often is a money

459
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:14,560
Speaker 2: date where you sit down maybe once a month, Like

460
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:16,760
Speaker 2: it doesn't have to be formal, like you don't actually

461
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:18,840
Speaker 2: have to go out on a proper date, but you

462
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:22,119
Speaker 2: just review all your finances together really high level, just

463
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,720
Speaker 2: go okay, like, how have you done this week? Share

464
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:27,640
Speaker 2: your money wins, some money losses, very similar to the podcast.

465
00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:29,359
Speaker 2: You can sit down and be like, hey, Georgia, like,

466
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,040
Speaker 2: what have you done really good financially this month? And

467
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,600
Speaker 2: you can be like, ah, well, Victoria cut out my

468
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,480
Speaker 2: gym membership. Yeah, And then I can be like, well,

469
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:39,040
Speaker 2: what's something that maybe you could have done better? And

470
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:42,080
Speaker 2: you go, look, well, I've been spending lots on private

471
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:45,440
Speaker 2: polarates classes and you end up in this situation where

472
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:48,840
Speaker 2: you start more openly talking about money, so you don't

473
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,000
Speaker 2: have to consistently talk about what are you earning, what

474
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:53,240
Speaker 2: are you spending? Yes, just what were you doing well

475
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,800
Speaker 2: and what would you like to improve? And you know,

476
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,760
Speaker 2: what's someplace that you're struggling or how can we as

477
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:03,440
Speaker 2: a couplet but working towards having more financial security, and

478
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:07,720
Speaker 2: everybody's got different values, everyone's got different sets of beliefs

479
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:09,840
Speaker 2: around to this. So I think it's important to just

480
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,359
Speaker 2: start early and having these conversations with your partner from

481
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,280
Speaker 2: the beginning. But if you're not at the beginning, that

482
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,720
Speaker 2: is okay because you can start introducing them, just don't

483
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:19,120
Speaker 2: introduce them aggressively.

484
00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:22,320
Speaker 1: And remember, we actually spent a whole episode in season

485
00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:25,120
Speaker 1: two talking about navigating Money with Your Honey, so there's

486
00:22:25,119 --> 00:22:26,679
Speaker 1: probably some good ideas in that one.

487
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:29,000
Speaker 2: Absolutely, I think have a listen. Yeah, I don't want

488
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,800
Speaker 2: to repeat everything that we said in that, so I

489
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,040
Speaker 2: think go back, have a listen to what was it

490
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:36,400
Speaker 2: navigating money with your honey? I thought that was pretty sassy. Yeah, yeah,

491
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:39,119
Speaker 2: have a listen to that episode because I think shared

492
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:43,040
Speaker 2: relationships and relationships and money are complex and hard to

493
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:46,080
Speaker 2: get your head around. But the second you feel comfortable

494
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:50,119
Speaker 2: one understanding your own finances but then someone else's, it

495
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,719
Speaker 2: kind of takes a relationship to a higher level and

496
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:56,160
Speaker 2: you're going to feel far more empowered because you've done that.

497
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,480
Speaker 1: What other things can we be doing to avoid ending

498
00:22:58,560 --> 00:22:59,160
Speaker 1: up in this spot?

499
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:02,440
Speaker 2: So there are lots of things. Another thing I would

500
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:06,160
Speaker 2: really like to say is don't ever sign anything without

501
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:10,640
Speaker 2: fully reading it and looking into it properly and understanding it.

502
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:14,479
Speaker 2: Too many times I've met women and men who say, oh,

503
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:16,840
Speaker 2: I have debt, but I just trusted my partner. They said,

504
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:19,240
Speaker 2: just sign on the dotted line, and you go, oh

505
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,679
Speaker 2: my gosh, like you didn't even read it, and you

506
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:25,280
Speaker 2: understand why they didn't because they trusted that person and

507
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:28,160
Speaker 2: you trust them endlessly. It's not about trust, it's about

508
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,840
Speaker 2: your own education. So if your partner puts anything in

509
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,439
Speaker 2: front of you, I do not care how much you

510
00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:36,160
Speaker 2: trust them or if you've been married for thirty years.

511
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:40,639
Speaker 2: For your own education, for your own financial literacy, read

512
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:45,120
Speaker 2: the document, Understand what you're signing, and be smart about it.

513
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:47,399
Speaker 2: You know, if you're going in with your partner to

514
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:50,000
Speaker 2: purchase a new car and you guys want to finance

515
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 2: that car, no problems at all. It's not to say

516
00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:55,880
Speaker 2: don't take on debt together. I mean, I've got other

517
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,439
Speaker 2: opinions about that, but that's not what this podcast is about.

518
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 2: But read the document because you're smart enough to know

519
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:04,240
Speaker 2: that maybe you could get a better deal on your

520
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:07,199
Speaker 2: interest rate, Like maybe there are places you could add value.

521
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:10,840
Speaker 2: It's not just about oh, don't sign anything, don't get

522
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,800
Speaker 2: into debt, go into things with the knowledge that you

523
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:17,560
Speaker 2: deserve to give yourself. Something else is understand joint debts.

524
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,640
Speaker 2: So if you've got debt, understand what the repayments are

525
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:24,560
Speaker 2: each month, Understand what level of debt you hold. Understand

526
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:27,959
Speaker 2: what power you have in relation to that debt. Like

527
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:30,800
Speaker 2: when I say power, I mean if you paid an

528
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:33,160
Speaker 2: extra hundred dollars off a month, you could cut twelve

529
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 2: months off your debt kind of thing. So it just

530
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:39,720
Speaker 2: really understand what that means and what interest rate you've got.

531
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,119
Speaker 2: If you've got really high levels of personal debt and

532
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:45,840
Speaker 2: a number of them, potentially consider getting them consolidated. If

533
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 2: you've got a mortgage together, have a think about whether

534
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:52,160
Speaker 2: the interest rate right now is competitive. So many times

535
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:54,840
Speaker 2: do I talk to my clients and say, oh, like,

536
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 2: what have you got, Like we go through the whole

537
00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,199
Speaker 2: fact find process and they're like, oh, yeah, we've got

538
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:02,440
Speaker 2: a mortgage. And one of the first things I say is, well, okay,

539
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:04,960
Speaker 2: what's the interest rate? And they'll say, oh, we don't

540
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:07,680
Speaker 2: even know. We got it a few years ago. It's

541
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:10,760
Speaker 2: like Okay, but that's a really important number because if

542
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 2: you drop your interest rate by one percent, we could

543
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:17,159
Speaker 2: literally shave years off your mortgage, and those are years

544
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:20,320
Speaker 2: where your mortgage recrumits could be going towards creating wealth.

545
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:23,879
Speaker 2: Ye we refinance heaps of clients into better loan structures

546
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:26,720
Speaker 2: so that they can better understand not only their debt,

547
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,439
Speaker 2: but also be more powerful and have more control of

548
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:31,920
Speaker 2: what they're spending. On top of that, I think it's

549
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:35,720
Speaker 2: just about maintaining independence as well. So when the discussion

550
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 2: of merging your finances or combining savings for a house deposit,

551
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 2: just make sure you have a finance chat, make sure

552
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,280
Speaker 2: you're on top of things with your partner. Keep this consistent.

553
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,119
Speaker 2: Back to the Navigating Money with Your Honey podcast, have

554
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 2: a really good listen to that and actually start having

555
00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 2: some morekward conversations.

556
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,720
Speaker 1: Yeap, just jump into it now. We've spoken about this before,

557
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:57,160
Speaker 1: and I think it OpenDS.

558
00:25:57,600 --> 00:25:58,679
Speaker 2: What is it, Georgia.

559
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,400
Speaker 1: I'm assuming not all dead the same. So we don't

560
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 1: need to be breaking up with our partner if they've

561
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,399
Speaker 1: got a mortgage or you know, they've got a hefty

562
00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:09,119
Speaker 1: hex debt. That's not like sexually transmitted debt. Right.

563
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:12,280
Speaker 2: No, No, it's just not sexually transmitted debt to me

564
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 2: is personal debt that you take on because of a partner, right.

565
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:19,200
Speaker 2: So it's not to say be wary of any partner

566
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:21,359
Speaker 2: or any person in debt, like they might be in

567
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,119
Speaker 2: constructive debt. They might be in a debt that you

568
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 2: know helps them grow their wealth. Like, really understand that

569
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 2: if they've got a mortgage, fantastic, they're probably working towards

570
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 2: financial independence to own an asset that will help increase

571
00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:37,199
Speaker 2: their overall wealth fantastic. If they have HEX debt, that

572
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,680
Speaker 2: will not become your responsibility at any point in time.

573
00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 2: In fact, Hex's debt is the only debt that actually

574
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:47,080
Speaker 2: dies with us. Morbid but true. Really, So, yeah, if

575
00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:49,440
Speaker 2: someone passes away and they still have HEX debt and

576
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 2: actually gets what that's great. Whereas if you have personal

577
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:54,919
Speaker 2: debt that goes to your next of kin. So I

578
00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:57,679
Speaker 2: think it's really important to understand that that's not your

579
00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:01,040
Speaker 2: responsibility and it never will be. But if your partner

580
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 2: takes on personal debt and you get married or you're

581
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 2: in a de facto relationship with them in the eyes

582
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,480
Speaker 2: of the law, that's also your debt, so regardless of

583
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:12,639
Speaker 2: whether your partner is taking responsibility for it and says, honey,

584
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:15,320
Speaker 2: don't worry, I have some personal debt, but I'm paying

585
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:17,600
Speaker 2: it all off. As much as you might be in

586
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:20,760
Speaker 2: a situation where that's absolutely fine and it works, you

587
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:23,359
Speaker 2: need to also be really aware that, in the eyes

588
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:25,399
Speaker 2: of the law, if something were to happen, that is

589
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 2: also your debt.

590
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:29,320
Speaker 1: Right is it always a form of financial abuse or

591
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:32,080
Speaker 1: can it be quite innocent? Like what does that look like?

592
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:35,520
Speaker 2: So, George, I actually think it can be both. So

593
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:37,920
Speaker 2: going into a new relationship, when do you even talk

594
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 2: about that? You don't go on a first date and

595
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,399
Speaker 2: be like, oh my gosh, it's like asking people in

596
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 2: a first date like do you want to get married?

597
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,360
Speaker 2: Like how many kids do you want? No, you wouldn't

598
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 2: the second date, I don't think. However, I think you

599
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:52,359
Speaker 2: do really need to bring it up once you start

600
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 2: feeling like that relationship is really serious. Like if you

601
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,919
Speaker 2: guys are at a point where you're comfortable talking to

602
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 2: them about something like that. And don't get me wrong,

603
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 2: there might not be a time that you ever feel comfortable,

604
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:07,320
Speaker 2: but the moment that you realize that relationship is becoming

605
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:09,919
Speaker 2: quite serious. I think that's the point in time that

606
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 2: you really need to start thinking about, Okay, well, maybe

607
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 2: I need to be a little bit more transparent about

608
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,959
Speaker 2: this burden that I carry, because at the end of

609
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,920
Speaker 2: the day, as I said, debt is just a reflection

610
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:23,399
Speaker 2: that you, at some point in your life spend more

611
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:25,480
Speaker 2: money than you earn and you're working your way out

612
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:29,359
Speaker 2: of it. But debt impacts your cash flow significantly. So

613
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:32,119
Speaker 2: if you're in personal debt and you've got eight hundred

614
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:35,959
Speaker 2: dollars a month repayment, that is actually taking away from

615
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:38,320
Speaker 2: your ability to create wealth or create the life that

616
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 2: you want to create with that person. So they need

617
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:43,600
Speaker 2: to be aware of that. It shouldn't be, in my eyes,

618
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:46,080
Speaker 2: a deal breaker. It should be something that they get, okay,

619
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 2: no problems, like, let's see how we maybe they can

620
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:50,920
Speaker 2: help you, not financially, but maybe they can help you

621
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:52,920
Speaker 2: look at it and feel a little bit better about

622
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 2: the situation. And I promise you, the more you start

623
00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 2: sharing things that are stressing you out, the less they

624
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 2: feel like they are weighing on you. Definitely, So no,

625
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:04,720
Speaker 2: I don't think it's always financial abuse. I think sometimes

626
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:08,120
Speaker 2: it's done really innocently because we never feel completely empowered

627
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:11,560
Speaker 2: to have that conversation. But on the flip side, yes,

628
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 2: I have seen very financially abusive relationships that have significant

629
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 2: levels of hidden debt. And this could be anything from

630
00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:23,880
Speaker 2: people applying for loans in other people's names without them

631
00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:26,600
Speaker 2: knowing and getting them to sign forms, to having women

632
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 2: that I have met where their partner has forged their

633
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 2: signature to apply for loans and not knowing what debt

634
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 2: they're in. I have seen it, honestly all and it

635
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 2: is terrifying. So no, it's not always financial abuse, absolutely not,

636
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 2: but it can be.

637
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 1: So stay vigilant. Now we've spoken a lot about how

638
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:47,720
Speaker 1: to avoid ending up in this situation, but what do

639
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:49,960
Speaker 1: we do for actually in it? We haven't avoided it,

640
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 1: we're in it.

641
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 2: What do we run? Just get up and run? No, No,

642
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,160
Speaker 2: I think it's about having an open, honest conversation with

643
00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 2: your partner. There is a thing called a financial agreement

644
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:01,440
Speaker 2: that you could enter into if we want to get

645
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:05,000
Speaker 2: super serious, that your partner might sign that says that

646
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:08,480
Speaker 2: you're not liable for that debt if the relationship dissolves,

647
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 2: a little bit like a prenup. But prenup sign a

648
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 2: thing in Australia. Yeah, it's a very American thing.

649
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:16,680
Speaker 1: It's like in legally Blunde.

650
00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll talk about it in another episode. I think anyway,

651
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:23,120
Speaker 2: I think it's really interesting to ask as well. So

652
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:24,760
Speaker 2: I think it's about just being open and honest, like

653
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:28,600
Speaker 2: whose responsibility is this. I know couples who are in

654
00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 2: relationships where one partner had personal debt and they've come

655
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 2: along and said, look, it's actually as much as you know,

656
00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:36,400
Speaker 2: I didn't incur this debt, I'm actually going to take

657
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:38,640
Speaker 2: responsibility for it. I'm going to start helping my partner

658
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 2: pay it down because it means that we are more

659
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,600
Speaker 2: likely to achieve financial goals sooner. I'm not saying that

660
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:46,560
Speaker 2: that is the right outcome. That is just what has

661
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:50,440
Speaker 2: worked for you know another couple. I've also seen partners

662
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:52,880
Speaker 2: where they say, look, I'm going to start saving. My

663
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:55,479
Speaker 2: partner needs to be in a position where they're paying

664
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 2: off their debt and once they're out of debt, they

665
00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 2: can join me on my savings journey, but don't want

666
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:02,000
Speaker 2: to be a part of the debt of payment, which

667
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:04,280
Speaker 2: is very fair because it wasn't their debt to begin

668
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:07,880
Speaker 2: with Every relationship is different. Every relationship is going to

669
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 2: deal with it differently. But if you're really worried about it,

670
00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:14,239
Speaker 2: have an open, honest conversation with your partner about that

671
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 2: because you don't want to be stung or be in

672
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:19,400
Speaker 2: a position where you are liable for something that you

673
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 2: don't want to be.

674
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:22,760
Speaker 1: Would you recommend speaking to a financial advisor at all?

675
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:26,120
Speaker 2: I absolutely would, because a financial advisor is not just

676
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 2: going to help you create a plan to get out

677
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 2: of that debt. They're going to help you create a

678
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:34,600
Speaker 2: plan to create wealth. And often debt is a reflection

679
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:37,720
Speaker 2: of a deeper issue, and that deeper issue is that

680
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:41,040
Speaker 2: you are spending beyond your means. A financial advisor is

681
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:43,080
Speaker 2: going to help you not only get back on track,

682
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:45,880
Speaker 2: but create a plan for the cash flow that you

683
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:48,719
Speaker 2: have so that you can be really productive and not

684
00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 2: get in that position again.

685
00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,640
Speaker 1: Hi, there, you've reached the shoes on the money mailbox.

686
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,840
Speaker 1: Do you have a money problem you want help solving.

687
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,160
Speaker 1: Do you just have a money dilemma you really want

688
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:07,440
Speaker 1: to chat about. Victoria is here to help. Every week,

689
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:09,520
Speaker 1: we'll be playing your questions to help make sense of

690
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:11,600
Speaker 1: a money mess you may have found yourself in, make

691
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 1: a quick recording on your phone and send it through

692
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:16,240
Speaker 1: to podcasts at chesothmoney at dot com dot au and

693
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:18,760
Speaker 1: you might even find yourself on the show. But for now,

694
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:20,040
Speaker 1: here's today's listen to question.

695
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:24,160
Speaker 3: Hi, ladies, big fan of the show. I'm calling in

696
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:26,560
Speaker 3: today because I have a bit of an issue. I'm

697
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 3: twenty five. I'm in a relatively new relationship and it's

698
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 3: been so amazing. Things are starting to get more serious,

699
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,680
Speaker 3: and we've had the chat about our future, and I

700
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:39,719
Speaker 3: can really see us moving in together, getting a dog together,

701
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:43,480
Speaker 3: you know, all of those amazing couple of things. But

702
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 3: I have a stack of personal debt twenty thousand dollars

703
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:51,320
Speaker 3: of debt to be exact, that I'm working on getting

704
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 3: rid of slowly but surely. I feel like it's a

705
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 3: bit of a dirty secret that I should tell my partner,

706
00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:59,360
Speaker 3: but I don't know if I really have to or

707
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:01,560
Speaker 3: if I should be because my money and the debt

708
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:04,960
Speaker 3: that comes with that could be his one day. Any

709
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 3: advice would be amazing. Thanks, girls, Hey.

710
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:11,080
Speaker 1: What's your advice here, Victoria?

711
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:13,360
Speaker 2: I think this is a really interesting one, and I

712
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:15,200
Speaker 2: feel like I say that at the start of every

713
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:19,240
Speaker 2: single it always interesting. Yes, of course you should tell them.

714
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:21,920
Speaker 2: It is definitely worthy of the conversation.

715
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:23,600
Speaker 1: Well, that's what we've been saying this whole time. Yeah,

716
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:24,160
Speaker 1: have the chat.

717
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 2: Yeap. I feel like this is just a recap of

718
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:29,160
Speaker 2: everything that we've just been talking about. Yes, absolutely, you

719
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:32,960
Speaker 2: should tell him. No, you should never hide something like that. Yes,

720
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:36,280
Speaker 2: it's hard, and sometimes you feel like when you're approaching

721
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:38,680
Speaker 2: your partner to say, hey, honey, like I've got personal daby,

722
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,480
Speaker 2: it can sometimes feel like you're approaching them to tell

723
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:43,760
Speaker 2: them that you killed a puppy or something like. It's

724
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:47,200
Speaker 2: really scary. But I promise you it is not the

725
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 2: hardest conversation you will ever have. More often than not,

726
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:54,080
Speaker 2: your partner's probably aware of some level of financial commitment

727
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,320
Speaker 2: that you have that might be stressing you out, So

728
00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:59,520
Speaker 2: potentially it won't even come as a surprise to your partner.

729
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:01,840
Speaker 2: So I think just sitting down and being like, hey,

730
00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:04,200
Speaker 2: I really want to have a chat with you about

731
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 2: money and about what's going on, you know, you don't

732
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:09,399
Speaker 2: have to say that you've been hiding it. You don't

733
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:11,680
Speaker 2: have to say that you've been lying because you haven't.

734
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 2: The conversation just hasn't come up. Just frame it as

735
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:17,399
Speaker 2: though you feel like it's the right time to have

736
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:21,080
Speaker 2: that conversation, because it is because it is getting serious

737
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:23,400
Speaker 2: and they deserve to know, and you want to be

738
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:25,800
Speaker 2: on the same page and you want to be working

739
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:29,200
Speaker 2: towards shared goals while them still being really understanding of

740
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:32,600
Speaker 2: the things that you're dealing with. I think often partners

741
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:36,279
Speaker 2: get in trouble having this conversation at the beginning when

742
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:38,440
Speaker 2: they start it with like, oh, I've been hiding this

743
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 2: from you. Oh I haven't been completely transparent. Like, do

744
00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:45,440
Speaker 2: not set your partner up with negative commentary before you

745
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:48,839
Speaker 2: tell them, because I think that it frames the conversation

746
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:53,000
Speaker 2: really negatively. Frame it as though you're sharing something with

747
00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:55,359
Speaker 2: them that they want to know and that you want

748
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,800
Speaker 2: them to know, and you're trying to be really open

749
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:01,000
Speaker 2: and honest. Don't frame the conversation with, oh, look, I've

750
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,400
Speaker 2: been hiding something for you for the past twelve months.

751
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:06,239
Speaker 2: You haven't been hiding it, you just haven't been comfortable.

752
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:08,360
Speaker 2: And I think that we need to give ourselves a

753
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:11,560
Speaker 2: little bit of permission to sometimes not tell someone something

754
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:14,240
Speaker 2: until we are completely ready. So, as I said before,

755
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:17,160
Speaker 2: like it's probably not first date worthy, but if you

756
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 2: feel like things are getting serious, then start having the conversation.

757
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 2: But equally like, if you're listening to this and you've

758
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:24,880
Speaker 2: been in a relationship for a number of years, you

759
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:27,960
Speaker 2: live together, and you have this secret, yes, your partner's

760
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:30,560
Speaker 2: probably not going to be happy, but at the end

761
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:32,759
Speaker 2: of the day, it means that you've spent more than

762
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:34,839
Speaker 2: you've earned and you just need to create a plan

763
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:36,760
Speaker 2: to get out of it. Share it with your partner.

764
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:37,879
Speaker 2: You'll feel better for it.

765
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:40,240
Speaker 1: Are there any quick tips you would have to getting

766
00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:42,360
Speaker 1: out of that personal debt? Or is that a combo

767
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:43,080
Speaker 1: for another time?

768
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:45,640
Speaker 2: There are so many things that you could do. First

769
00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:48,120
Speaker 2: things first, probably talk to someone, but do your own research.

770
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:50,200
Speaker 2: So if you've got a number of different personal debts

771
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:53,680
Speaker 2: with credit cards or personal loans or store credit, I

772
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:58,080
Speaker 2: think it's really important to potentially consider consolidating it. Talk

773
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:01,439
Speaker 2: to a broker about consolidating a personal loans together. One

774
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:03,920
Speaker 2: it will become one payment, so it's not lots and

775
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,799
Speaker 2: lots of payments coming out each month. And two you're

776
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:09,560
Speaker 2: more likely to be offered a preferable interest rate on

777
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:12,880
Speaker 2: that because as we know, credit cards can be upwards

778
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:15,600
Speaker 2: of twenty three to twenty five percent, or as a

779
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:17,920
Speaker 2: personal loan might take it down to, you know, seventeen

780
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:20,920
Speaker 2: or eighteen, depending on what your credit score is and

781
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,640
Speaker 2: whether we can actually refinance the personal debt you've got.

782
00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 2: It's going to be completely personal. But also another method

783
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:29,480
Speaker 2: is debt snowballing. So if you haven't heard of it,

784
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 2: do a quick google. But it's essentially picking the lowest

785
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:34,879
Speaker 2: amount of debt that you have and just smashing through

786
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:37,200
Speaker 2: it and then using your minium member of payments to

787
00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:39,600
Speaker 2: go towards the next debt and just smashing through it

788
00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 2: while not worrying about your interest rate. And the reason

789
00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:46,560
Speaker 2: I believe in debt snowballing as opposed to debt avalanching,

790
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:48,960
Speaker 2: it's where you actually pay off the debt with the

791
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:53,719
Speaker 2: biggest interest rate first. Debt snowballing is where you pick

792
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:57,000
Speaker 2: the lowest amount of debt that you have and just

793
00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:00,920
Speaker 2: smash through it. I love it because it is in gratification,

794
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:03,719
Speaker 2: Like you're more likely to feel gratified sooner to tick

795
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:05,680
Speaker 2: something because you've tick something off the list, Dane. You

796
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 2: just feel like you've made progress, and the more progress

797
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:10,080
Speaker 2: you're making, the more likely you are to stick to

798
00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:12,880
Speaker 2: your overall goal. So for me, as much as interest

799
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 2: rates are really important, getting rid of the debt and

800
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,640
Speaker 2: feeling empowered to do so is more important to me.

801
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:24,960
Speaker 1: Amazing, So have that chat. Girl. You got this day's

802
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 1: money diary. It is from a savvy saver who had

803
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:29,280
Speaker 1: a bit of a rough experience with a mortgage broker.

804
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:30,080
Speaker 2: Hi.

805
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 4: I'm a financially fit feminist and this is my money diary.

806
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:35,719
Speaker 4: My attitude to money is that I like to save

807
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:38,759
Speaker 4: a lot. Since I started earning money, my savings goal

808
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:41,960
Speaker 4: has always been to purchase a house as quickly as possible,

809
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:45,720
Speaker 4: and that was my goal until I moved to London

810
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:48,759
Speaker 4: two years ago. I wanted to tell the cheese on

811
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,960
Speaker 4: the money community about my experiences with a mortgage broker.

812
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:57,520
Speaker 4: When I decided, aged twenty two, that I was ready

813
00:37:57,560 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 4: to buy a house, I went to this mortgage broke.

814
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,400
Speaker 4: I had saved forty thousand dollars, which I thought was

815
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:06,080
Speaker 4: pretty impressive for my age, and was wondering what my

816
00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:09,080
Speaker 4: next steps were, and instead of telling me how much

817
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:11,360
Speaker 4: more I needed what I needed to think about, he

818
00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 4: said that I should come back when I had a

819
00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:17,920
Speaker 4: boyfriend or husband. I felt angry, understandably, I think, and

820
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:21,719
Speaker 4: it actually affected my saving skills as I used that

821
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,160
Speaker 4: money to move to London and have an excellent two

822
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:27,279
Speaker 4: years traveling around. Everyone was shocked when I told them,

823
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:30,680
Speaker 4: but no one in my friendship group had had experiences

824
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:33,279
Speaker 4: with mortgage brokers, so we didn't really know what to

825
00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:37,040
Speaker 4: expect if that was a normal thing that young women

826
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 4: were told, or if it was really out of line.

827
00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:43,399
Speaker 4: It felt really out of line, but it also made

828
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:47,239
Speaker 4: me a bit scared to approach others. It affected my

829
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:50,800
Speaker 4: outlook on money because I had spent so long saving

830
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:52,839
Speaker 4: and not going out for the fancy dinners that all

831
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 4: of my friends went out on, and then when I

832
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:58,480
Speaker 4: was treated with such what felt a bit like disdain,

833
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:02,960
Speaker 4: I had a bit of a fucket attitude to money

834
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,919
Speaker 4: and started spending a little bit more. And I think

835
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:08,600
Speaker 4: it did help me not be so uptight about budgeting

836
00:39:08,719 --> 00:39:11,360
Speaker 4: and spending, but it was still not a nice way

837
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:14,799
Speaker 4: to learn that money lesson. My partner and I moved

838
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:19,040
Speaker 4: back to Australia because of the coronavirus pandemic, and we've

839
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:21,719
Speaker 4: had a good look at our finances and now that

840
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:24,560
Speaker 4: I have a partner I can look at saving for

841
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:27,480
Speaker 4: a house again, but we are making sure that it's

842
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:30,359
Speaker 4: a very, very even split, so that we both own

843
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:32,960
Speaker 4: exactly half of the property, because I think it's very

844
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:36,280
Speaker 4: important that women have their own stake in the future.

845
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 4: Until two months ago, I was earning sixty thousand dollars

846
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:42,799
Speaker 4: a year. However, I have recently gone freelance and now

847
00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:45,440
Speaker 4: earn more like two thousand dollars a month. My best

848
00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:50,240
Speaker 4: money habit is saving a significant portion of my salary.

849
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:52,239
Speaker 4: I pay myself first, and I think that's a really

850
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:55,759
Speaker 4: good thing. However, my worst money habit is over extending

851
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:58,440
Speaker 4: myself and dipping into my savings more than I should.

852
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:00,800
Speaker 4: But She's on the Money podcast and the Facebook community

853
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:05,200
Speaker 4: have really helped me open up about money. It's not

854
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:07,359
Speaker 4: something that my friends and I have ever discussed before,

855
00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 4: but suddenly I'm having all these really great conversations about

856
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:15,320
Speaker 4: investment properties and the apps we use to manage our money,

857
00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 4: and it's been really, really helpful, and I love it.

858
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:20,440
Speaker 4: If you'd asked me five years ago, I would have

859
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:23,800
Speaker 4: rated my financial behavior as an A plus. However, after

860
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:27,920
Speaker 4: two years spent traveling and splurging, i'd probably rate it

861
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:28,719
Speaker 4: at more leg A.

862
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:34,359
Speaker 1: C plus, what did we think of the financially fit

863
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:35,720
Speaker 1: of feminist Victoria.

864
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:39,520
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I genuinely cannot believe that a mortgage

865
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:43,239
Speaker 2: broker told her to go away and come back when

866
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:44,720
Speaker 2: she has a partner.

867
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:45,879
Speaker 1: That made my blood boy.

868
00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:50,920
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm still mad Georgia. Honestly, I think that that is, like,

869
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 2: let's be honest, I'm a little bit opinionated on this podcast.

870
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:59,360
Speaker 2: That's disgusting, Like that is so wildly unacceptable. It's not funny,

871
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:02,880
Speaker 2: like the eye that we need a man to be. Essentially,

872
00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:07,480
Speaker 2: our financial plan is beyond outdated. And it makes me

873
00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:09,960
Speaker 2: feel bad that she's had that experience. So don't get

874
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:11,920
Speaker 2: me wrong. If she's gone to London and had an

875
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:15,240
Speaker 2: incredible time like that's something that I'm sure she doesn't regret.

876
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:18,480
Speaker 2: But at the same time, think about the wealth and

877
00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:22,399
Speaker 2: the creation that she has missed because someone told her

878
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:26,160
Speaker 2: that she wasn't capable, And to me, that's not appropriate.

879
00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 2: So our friend Miranda was a prime example of this

880
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:31,879
Speaker 2: in the Facebook group this week. She's brought her own home,

881
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:34,799
Speaker 2: done it all on her own. As you guys know,

882
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:38,399
Speaker 2: I do have a mortgage broking firm as well, and

883
00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:41,600
Speaker 2: that is something that we see all the time. We

884
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:45,160
Speaker 2: often see women purchasing their own homes and it's one

885
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:47,000
Speaker 2: of those things where, yes, there are a number of

886
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:50,200
Speaker 2: factors that come into it. So sometimes we see women

887
00:41:50,239 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 2: that come in And I had a beautiful twenty five

888
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:55,440
Speaker 2: year old come in recently, sat down with her and

889
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:57,520
Speaker 2: we were talking about, you know what she can achieve

890
00:41:57,719 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 2: her financial advisor as well, and she's say about one

891
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:03,560
Speaker 2: hundred and eighty thousand dollars honestly insane.

892
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:03,959
Speaker 1: And she's twenty five.

893
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:07,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, twenty five, She's amazing. She does still live at home.

894
00:42:07,239 --> 00:42:09,320
Speaker 2: There's a lot of you know, privilege going on there

895
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:11,200
Speaker 2: in a really good way. Like she's got a lot

896
00:42:11,239 --> 00:42:13,720
Speaker 2: of things going for her that have enabled her to save.

897
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:16,839
Speaker 2: She's also just a really great saver, Like it's all

898
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:19,600
Speaker 2: a lot of her if that makes sense, Like she's fantastic.

899
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:22,200
Speaker 2: She's been saving for her first time since she was sixteen,

900
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:25,319
Speaker 2: so this has been a goal for her for so long.

901
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:28,000
Speaker 1: I'm going to buy imagine absolutely.

902
00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:31,480
Speaker 2: But Georgia, she's not because she actually doesn't earn enough

903
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:32,840
Speaker 2: to reach serviceability.

904
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:33,839
Speaker 1: And you can't just have it.

905
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,480
Speaker 2: So you can't just have a big deposit, and it's

906
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:40,160
Speaker 2: heartbreaking to say, Okay, well sorry, but so you've worked

907
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:42,440
Speaker 2: so hard and you have this deposit, and it's not

908
00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:45,520
Speaker 2: actually about creating more deposit because you've got twenty percent

909
00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:49,160
Speaker 2: for the home that you want to purchase. However, you

910
00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:52,479
Speaker 2: won't get serviceability. So no, it's not about her getting

911
00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:55,799
Speaker 2: a partner. Yes, I'm sure that mortgage breaker was right

912
00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:58,879
Speaker 2: when it comes down to it, Yes, another income would

913
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:02,120
Speaker 2: have helped her get serviceable, But no, let's reframe this.

914
00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:04,799
Speaker 2: What can you buy that's in your price range? Do

915
00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:09,160
Speaker 2: we potentially start investing her surplus income, park her house

916
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,040
Speaker 2: to posit over to the side, and wait for her

917
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:13,759
Speaker 2: to get a higher paying job in the future so

918
00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:15,959
Speaker 2: that that can still be a financial goal while still

919
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,440
Speaker 2: creating wealth. Like, there are so many things that we

920
00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:20,959
Speaker 2: could have done together to create wealth and actually put

921
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,719
Speaker 2: her on the right path, but instead someone shot it

922
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:26,480
Speaker 2: down because it was too hard basket for them by saying, oh,

923
00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:29,320
Speaker 2: come back when you've got a partner. That's not the answer.

924
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:31,120
Speaker 2: It is not a good thing to say that. It

925
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:34,840
Speaker 2: is not constructive, and it doesn't actually help us feel empowered.

926
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:36,839
Speaker 2: And I think it's really important to know that if

927
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 2: someone says no to you, it doesn't actually mean no.

928
00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:42,840
Speaker 2: Take everything with a grain of salt. A mortgage broker

929
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:46,200
Speaker 2: does get paid on the loan that they process for you,

930
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:48,920
Speaker 2: So maybe they were thinking that it was too lower

931
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:50,799
Speaker 2: of a loan and it wasn't worth their time. And

932
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:54,120
Speaker 2: I'm not saying that that's appropriated. Absolutely is not Get

933
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:56,080
Speaker 2: a second opinion, Like, if you've got a goal that

934
00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:59,000
Speaker 2: you want to achieve, like anything is genuinely possible. It

935
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:01,600
Speaker 2: might not be possible in that timeframe, but sit down

936
00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:03,759
Speaker 2: with someone who can hold your hand and explain to

937
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 2: you the steps you personally need to take to achieve

938
00:44:06,719 --> 00:44:08,920
Speaker 2: that goal. Don't let someone wipe it and then you

939
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,839
Speaker 2: go blow it like that is so upsetting. Like I'm

940
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:14,799
Speaker 2: glad that she's on the right path now. However, it

941
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:16,840
Speaker 2: didn't have to be the case and someone shouldn't have

942
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:17,560
Speaker 2: treated her like that.

943
00:44:17,719 --> 00:44:20,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it was nice as well. I mean,

944
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:21,920
Speaker 1: I don't know what you would say to this Victoria,

945
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:24,160
Speaker 1: but she mentioned that her attitude to money kind of

946
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 1: relaxed on once saving for a home wasn't her goal anymore,

947
00:44:28,239 --> 00:44:30,520
Speaker 1: Like she went to London was able to enjoy all

948
00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:33,440
Speaker 1: the things that she'd been quite disciplined on beforehand, like

949
00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:34,439
Speaker 1: she kind of got to enjoy.

950
00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:36,279
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't think it's a bad thing. Yeah, she's

951
00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:37,520
Speaker 2: been through that situation.

952
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:38,520
Speaker 1: Waste time.

953
00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:41,120
Speaker 2: Absolutely, And I think that a lot of us put

954
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:44,160
Speaker 2: too much pressure on ourselves that we need a home,

955
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:46,759
Speaker 2: Like a home is not the one thing that's going

956
00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:49,040
Speaker 2: to create wealth for you. I work with lots and

957
00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:52,359
Speaker 2: lots of millennials who have no goal to purchase a home.

958
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:55,399
Speaker 2: They're just investing in chairs and living their lives and

959
00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 2: going about creating wealth in a different way. Because the

960
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:01,439
Speaker 2: way that the world worked thirty or forty years ago,

961
00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:04,640
Speaker 2: when property was the way to create wealth, doesn't mean

962
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:07,520
Speaker 2: that that's appropriate now. If it's a goal of yours,

963
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:10,160
Speaker 2: fantastic clack, let's do it. Let's smash it out, let's

964
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:12,440
Speaker 2: get it done. Let's buy you your first home, because

965
00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:15,600
Speaker 2: that's really exciting. But if property isn't something that you

966
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:18,560
Speaker 2: were in love with, then don't really feel the urgency around.

967
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:22,759
Speaker 2: Stop putting unnecessary pressure on yourself, stop putting yourself in

968
00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:26,320
Speaker 2: someone else's shoes, and start working towards something that actually

969
00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:27,440
Speaker 2: creates happiness for you.

970
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 1: That is all we have time for today, But before

971
00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:40,520
Speaker 1: we head off, let's quickly wrap the boring but important stuff.

972
00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:42,960
Speaker 1: The advice shed on shoes on the money is general

973
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:46,640
Speaker 1: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's

974
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:49,720
Speaker 1: on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should

975
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:52,200
Speaker 1: not be relied upon to make an investment or financial

976
00:45:52,239 --> 00:45:55,960
Speaker 1: decision and stress less, we promise. Victoria Divine is an

977
00:45:56,000 --> 00:46:00,480
Speaker 1: authorized representative of Australia Pacific Funds Management proprior to Limited

978
00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:03,239
Speaker 1: ABN three four one three two four six three two

979
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:06,600
Speaker 1: five seven AFSL three three nine one five one. And

980
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:09,120
Speaker 1: thank you, of course to Ryan John for editing today's

981
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:11,040
Speaker 1: chat and to the Wild Pod you guys love.

982
00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:14,000
Speaker 2: We would love it if you joined our Facebook group,

983
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:17,520
Speaker 2: where our community shares money tips and tricks every single day,

984
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:20,360
Speaker 2: free of judgment. So She's on the Money on Facebook

985
00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:22,600
Speaker 2: and join us at Facebook's not your thing, or you

986
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 2: want to find us on more socials. We're on Instagram

987
00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:27,080
Speaker 2: as well. We're at She's on the Money a US.

988
00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:28,000
Speaker 1: See you next week.

989
00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:28,839
Speaker 2: See next week