WEBVTT - UNCUT WITH MATTY J - A mans perspective!

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<v Speaker 1>Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life

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<v Speaker 1>I Cut. I'm Brittany, I know Laura. This is our

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<v Speaker 1>US uncut episode, our little quickened, down and dirty where

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<v Speaker 1>we answer your biggest problems, your deepest secrets, and the

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<v Speaker 1>things you just really need some help with.

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<v Speaker 2>This is my favorite episode. I love it.

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<v Speaker 1>It's the one I.

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<v Speaker 2>Look forward to all week because I just love giving

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<v Speaker 2>you my opinion.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, am I right? Britt Britt, You guys might have

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<v Speaker 1>cluted on Laura has been a bit sick this week.

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<v Speaker 1>That is actually not Laura. We didn't want to not

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<v Speaker 1>bring you guys an episode, so I've gone rogue and

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<v Speaker 1>I've tried. I've thought, what's the next best thing I

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<v Speaker 1>could possibly to Laura? Buster was unavailable, Marley hasn't been

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<v Speaker 1>speaking much, so we have got Matt in the studio

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<v Speaker 1>doing his very first ask Uncut.

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome cad I guys, lifers, you know it's weird. For

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<v Speaker 2>so long, I've been secretly reading through the questions that

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<v Speaker 2>get submitted to the Facebook group, and I thought to myself,

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<v Speaker 2>gin know what, I think I'd be pretty damn good

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<v Speaker 2>at answering some of these questions. And I didn't want

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<v Speaker 2>to ask Laura, but I secretly infected her with an

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<v Speaker 2>illness that knocked her down for a week. So there

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<v Speaker 2>was no other choice but for me to get the

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<v Speaker 2>call up and can I just say it's good to

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<v Speaker 2>be here. I feel comfortable, Laura, you've been replaced.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, you know how I feel. I feel a little

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<v Speaker 1>bit like I'm cheating on Laura.

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<v Speaker 2>There you are.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like, okay, even though I just want everyone

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<v Speaker 1>to know. Laura is in the room. She's watching us

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<v Speaker 1>like a hawk, trying to make sure we perform. She's

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<v Speaker 1>making sure we articulate. She's making sure we don't move

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<v Speaker 1>back from the mic because she has to edit this.

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<v Speaker 2>We proposed it in a way that was I was wondering,

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<v Speaker 2>what is she going to ask? She came into the room.

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<v Speaker 2>I was sitting down on the couch and Laura is like, look.

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<v Speaker 2>She actually said, I don't know if you're going to

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<v Speaker 2>hate this, but I have an idea. And I was thinking, God,

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<v Speaker 2>hang on.

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<v Speaker 1>Did you take this idea as yours? Laura? Did you slippery?

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<v Speaker 2>And she was like, how would you feel about doing

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<v Speaker 2>an episode of Life on cart.

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<v Speaker 1>You're like, where do I sign? No?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, you know, I've got my own podcast, The Babble,

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<v Speaker 2>which hang on that was two minutes.

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<v Speaker 1>You got that in there. I love that.

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<v Speaker 2>Lauren said, you can say the Babble, but just make

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<v Speaker 2>sure it's at the very end, and I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>of course, not a problem, totally fine. The Babble podcast

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<v Speaker 2>one of the best pop culture podcasts out there. I

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<v Speaker 2>think you know, if your fix of news and related TV,

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<v Speaker 2>it's it's at the Bubble podcast on Instagram as well.

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<v Speaker 2>You're going to give us a follow.

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<v Speaker 1>How come you haven't got me on there if it's

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<v Speaker 1>the best you've been on there?

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<v Speaker 2>Sorry, you had a full episode to yourself.

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<v Speaker 1>I actually performed really well. Continue.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm glad you remember it was that serious.

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<v Speaker 1>I had a mind blame. We asked, we are sock

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<v Speaker 1>to have you here, but guys, Laura, actually we told you, guys,

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<v Speaker 1>she's been sick. She has been sick is an understatement.

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<v Speaker 1>She has been deathly. She sent me a photo of

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<v Speaker 1>herself and I almost sent an ambulance to the house.

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<v Speaker 1>She sent me a photo in bed horizontal. Her face

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<v Speaker 1>looks like she's been stung by a bee. No offense, Laura,

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<v Speaker 1>but you were really really unwell. But can you testify that.

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<v Speaker 2>Can I just say I think she looked great. I

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<v Speaker 2>think she looked beautiful.

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<v Speaker 1>He's trying to get late as soon as Laura gets better.

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<v Speaker 2>So now it's been I reckon. It has been the

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<v Speaker 2>week from hell. Laura has just been struck down with

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<v Speaker 2>like the mother of all viruses. Since Monday last week,

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<v Speaker 2>she's been super unwell, and it's kind of been this

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<v Speaker 2>weird rollercoaster where one day she was feeling better and

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<v Speaker 2>she was like, I think I'm getting over it, and

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<v Speaker 2>then the next day she was back to being rock bottom.

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<v Speaker 2>And then obviously we thought either me or Marley's going

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<v Speaker 2>to get sick next, and then Marley got sick, and

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<v Speaker 2>then she got conjunctivitis, and so you know, I'm just

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<v Speaker 2>this absolute hero I am. I'm the rock of this family.

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<v Speaker 2>Nothing is going to stop me from making sure that

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<v Speaker 2>they're looked after, they're well fed. But I'm actually I'm

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<v Speaker 2>quite fragile. Normally, normally the slightest change in temperature, and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, hell, if.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm struck down, is this I'm supposed to start calling

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<v Speaker 1>you the whole.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm quite weak. I'm a fragile I'm a fragile human

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<v Speaker 2>being brit.

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<v Speaker 1>I can testify to that. I also think you fragile, and.

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<v Speaker 2>The last few months it's always Laura who is the

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<v Speaker 2>one helping me, and I'm there in bed, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>in the fetal position. And to the point where it

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<v Speaker 2>was on the weekend where she was feeling really really sick,

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<v Speaker 2>and then she took some antibiotics that were recommended by

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<v Speaker 2>the GP. She took them, and then maybe an hour

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<v Speaker 2>later I just heard that she was vomiting in the bathroom,

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<v Speaker 2>just non stop, vomiting violently ill for half an hour.

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<v Speaker 2>It was really really scary, and I called the midwife

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<v Speaker 2>and I was thinking, Jesus, do we have to go

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<v Speaker 2>to a hospital? You know, I can just imagine that

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<v Speaker 2>for the baby. This is you know, a nightmare. So

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<v Speaker 2>so it was pretty scary for a little while there.

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<v Speaker 2>But I think now she is getting better, still not

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<v Speaker 2>well enough to be on the podcast, so I think

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<v Speaker 2>in the next few days she will be back. So

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<v Speaker 2>this is this is one time only, so if you're listening,

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<v Speaker 2>savor every second because I might not be back for

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<v Speaker 2>a little while.

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<v Speaker 1>I reckon you'll come back. But basically, what we've done, guys,

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<v Speaker 1>the reason we've given you this short ask uncut today

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<v Speaker 1>is because I don't trust Matt enough to have him

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<v Speaker 1>on a full hour episode, so he was never going

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<v Speaker 1>to fill in for the proper Tuesday ZEP. So we

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<v Speaker 1>did a switcher Roonie. We got him in for some

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<v Speaker 1>quick answers and Laura, we'll be back later in the

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<v Speaker 1>week for the full episode on Thursday. The thing is, guys,

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<v Speaker 1>we often get questions Laura and I, and we do

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<v Speaker 1>run them by Matt anyway, because we do want a

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<v Speaker 1>guy's perspective when we bring them to you. So this

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<v Speaker 1>is actually brilliant. And some of the questions we picked today,

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<v Speaker 1>I have purposely picked them because I want more of

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<v Speaker 1>a male SKU, a male skw Yeah, and you were

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<v Speaker 1>all I could find. So before we jump in, I

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<v Speaker 1>just want to tell you a funny story that happened

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<v Speaker 1>to me today. I went to a cavet this morning

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<v Speaker 1>with my sister and in Bondie. Today, Guys, it was

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<v Speaker 1>really windy, so we're sitting outside doing some work because

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<v Speaker 1>we're trying to get outside of the house because it

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<v Speaker 1>was just you know, you get stuck in this damp,

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<v Speaker 1>dark house and you like, I need some man sitting

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<v Speaker 1>down doing our work, and there's this really really hot

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<v Speaker 1>guy at the table behind me in front of me,

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<v Speaker 1>and I've been lying him off and I'm like, hot, damn,

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<v Speaker 1>this guy's spicy. He's trying to make some eye contact

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<v Speaker 1>and stuff, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>Anything in return? Or was he playing hard to get I.

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<v Speaker 1>Got a few, like some glances up and some like

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<v Speaker 1>holding the eye contact for a few seconds, you know

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<v Speaker 1>those ones quick.

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<v Speaker 2>Question when you're trying to flirt. Is it just do

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<v Speaker 2>you just want to lock eyes and give a little

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<v Speaker 2>smirk or what are you trying to do there?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah? I think the trick is to hold that eye

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<v Speaker 1>contact for that little bit longer than you normally would

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<v Speaker 1>if you caught someone's eye, normally you'd catch their iron

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<v Speaker 1>look away.

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<v Speaker 2>It's very creepy.

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<v Speaker 1>You want me to show you now? Yeah, I do

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<v Speaker 1>this ready.

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<v Speaker 2>A little breathe out laugh.

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<v Speaker 1>So I locked eyes and then I did a smirk

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<v Speaker 1>and look away laugh. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Great, Although hasn't proved very successful, guys, so it wasn't working.

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<v Speaker 1>So no, we're just I wasn't actually trying to get

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<v Speaker 1>him to talk to me. I just clocked him. I

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<v Speaker 1>was like clock clocked hoty twelve o'clock that was it.

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<v Speaker 1>I knocked my bag over next to the table and

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<v Speaker 1>some rubbish flies out, so I get up to run

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<v Speaker 1>after it, because you don't want to let rubbish go

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<v Speaker 1>down the street. And the rubbish stopped right next to

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<v Speaker 1>him at the table.

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<v Speaker 2>Perfect right, because then you can lock the eyes.

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<v Speaker 1>Perfect except it was my empty tampon box. They got

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<v Speaker 1>caught in the wind and blew down the road and purposely,

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<v Speaker 1>like perfectly, landed next to his table. I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>you are fucking kidding me. So I was like, pick

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<v Speaker 1>that one ten box and I was like, that's it.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm we may as well get divorced, like it's never

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<v Speaker 1>going to go anywhere.

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<v Speaker 2>What did he say?

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<v Speaker 1>Nothing? He just got awkward and got flushed, and I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, yep, I bleed out on my vagianta. That's

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<v Speaker 1>what happens like every like every other I didn't say that, guys,

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<v Speaker 1>that was my internal monologue. Scurried back to my table

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<v Speaker 1>and that was it. Packed up, went home.

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<v Speaker 2>Wow, So would you.

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<v Speaker 1>With that? What would you think if that happened? Would

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<v Speaker 1>that be like a little like or not that it

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<v Speaker 1>should be a turn off? Guys? Obviously it's not, but

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<v Speaker 1>it's pretty funny. That my tampon box. And you know what,

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<v Speaker 1>it's obvious that the tampon box had been in there

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<v Speaker 1>for a little bit because it was a bit crumbled.

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<v Speaker 1>It wasn't even a cute so.

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<v Speaker 2>It was a fresh one. It was an old tampon box.

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<v Speaker 2>I reckon, I'd probably have a laugh and be like

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<v Speaker 2>heavy flow, huh hey.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what would have been better if he picked

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<v Speaker 1>up the tampon box, wrote his number on and game

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<v Speaker 1>of bat.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh boom, opportunity lost.

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<v Speaker 1>Anyway, that's the most eventful thing that has happened to me. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to jump into the questions and I'm going

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<v Speaker 1>to go straight to the one that I think comes

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<v Speaker 1>in most often from you guys, and it's on ghosting, Matt,

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<v Speaker 1>Why do guys ghost? I felt like we had a

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<v Speaker 1>few really great dates. It felt like we got along

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<v Speaker 1>and it was going somewhere, and then all of a sudden,

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<v Speaker 1>I just never hear from him again. Why the fuck

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<v Speaker 1>do guys do this? And she yelled that she was angry,

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<v Speaker 1>Why the fuck do guys do this? And do you

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<v Speaker 1>want message for closure? And to ask why or do

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<v Speaker 1>I accept that they've ghosted me?

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<v Speaker 2>Look, it's a good question, and I think there are

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<v Speaker 2>many different ways to look at this. But when you

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<v Speaker 2>boil it down and you look at men as a whole,

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<v Speaker 2>and obviously I'm very conscious here not to generalize, but

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<v Speaker 2>at the same time, guys are cowards really amen when

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<v Speaker 2>you look at it, we're also just very pathetic.

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<v Speaker 1>I think as well, I'm so glad you're saying this

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<v Speaker 1>and not me.

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<v Speaker 2>Bless us, bless our cotton socks. We don't want to

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<v Speaker 2>hurt people's feelings. Nobody wants to be the bad guy, right,

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<v Speaker 2>which is okay for the most part, except sometimes you

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<v Speaker 2>really do just need to be honest, and sometimes you

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<v Speaker 2>need to deliver bad news to people even though you

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<v Speaker 2>know it's going to hurt their feelings. But guys are

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<v Speaker 2>just we're also very lazy.

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<v Speaker 1>As well, So you think men just can't be fucked.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, when it comes down to it, I reckon

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<v Speaker 2>that these days, ghosting happens more because because of the

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<v Speaker 2>dating apps like Tender, like Bumbull, plenty of Fish, et cetera,

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<v Speaker 2>et cetera. I think it's so easy now that if

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<v Speaker 2>you have someone who you maybe don't have a great

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<v Speaker 2>relationship with, or maybe you know it's a little bit

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<v Speaker 2>harder to try and get that spark. You can just

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<v Speaker 2>pick your phone up and find someone new, and it's

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<v Speaker 2>so easy just to like discard that current person who

0:10:35.280 --> 0:10:37.400
<v Speaker 2>you've seen for a week or two, throw them to

0:10:37.400 --> 0:10:38.480
<v Speaker 2>the side, and just move on.

0:10:38.840 --> 0:10:40.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. I think it's a little bit of a mix.

0:10:40.600 --> 0:10:43.760
<v Speaker 1>I mean everyone's ghosted everyone. I don't do it anymore.

0:10:43.880 --> 0:10:47.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm always upfront and I'll always just say hey, didn't

0:10:47.600 --> 0:10:50.520
<v Speaker 1>feel it. But I had a conversation with my friend

0:10:50.679 --> 0:10:53.640
<v Speaker 1>yesterday which was very similar to this. She is online

0:10:53.720 --> 0:10:56.760
<v Speaker 1>dating and she I was asking her straight up and

0:10:56.760 --> 0:10:59.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, okay, so how's it going. She's like, all duds,

0:10:59.000 --> 0:11:01.520
<v Speaker 1>all duds. And I said, okay, so how do you

0:11:01.600 --> 0:11:04.160
<v Speaker 1>do you find that awkward when they want to see

0:11:04.160 --> 0:11:06.760
<v Speaker 1>you again and you don't. And she's like, well, not really.

0:11:06.800 --> 0:11:08.240
<v Speaker 1>And I was like, well, what do you say to them?

0:11:08.800 --> 0:11:11.239
<v Speaker 2>She's oh, I just don't oh, and she ghosts.

0:11:11.320 --> 0:11:13.600
<v Speaker 1>She ghosted them. And I said to her, you can't

0:11:13.640 --> 0:11:15.560
<v Speaker 1>do that. She's like, I don't want it. She's like

0:11:15.559 --> 0:11:17.200
<v Speaker 1>it's too hard. I don't know them, it's only been

0:11:17.200 --> 0:11:19.480
<v Speaker 1>one or two dates. And I'm like, yeah, but imagine

0:11:19.480 --> 0:11:21.160
<v Speaker 1>if that was you and they just weren't running back

0:11:21.200 --> 0:11:22.360
<v Speaker 1>to you exactly.

0:11:22.400 --> 0:11:23.880
<v Speaker 2>You need to think of it from both sides. You

0:11:23.920 --> 0:11:25.920
<v Speaker 2>treat people how you like to be treated. And I

0:11:25.960 --> 0:11:28.480
<v Speaker 2>think it's hard because if you haven't had sex with

0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:33.160
<v Speaker 2>the person, do you even offer someone an explanation or

0:11:33.760 --> 0:11:35.720
<v Speaker 2>you know, do you does it seem at a place

0:11:35.760 --> 0:11:38.400
<v Speaker 2>if you step up and say, hey, look, Britt, I'm

0:11:38.400 --> 0:11:40.440
<v Speaker 2>really sorry. I'm just not feeling things at the moment,

0:11:40.720 --> 0:11:42.800
<v Speaker 2>and you're like, hey, buddy, relaxed, it's been two dates.

0:11:42.920 --> 0:11:44.640
<v Speaker 1>No, I see. This is the other question. Do you

0:11:44.720 --> 0:11:47.720
<v Speaker 1>have to have had sex or like some form of

0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:51.080
<v Speaker 1>intimacy for it to validate an answer as to why

0:11:51.120 --> 0:11:52.800
<v Speaker 1>they don't want to see you anymore? Well, I don't.

0:11:52.840 --> 0:11:55.360
<v Speaker 1>I don't agree with that. I go on first dates

0:11:55.400 --> 0:11:56.880
<v Speaker 1>and if they write to me and say they want

0:11:56.920 --> 0:11:58.600
<v Speaker 1>to see me again, I will always write back and

0:11:58.640 --> 0:12:00.600
<v Speaker 1>say the true You.

0:12:00.559 --> 0:12:03.360
<v Speaker 2>Have been ghosting guys in the past, though, years and

0:12:03.440 --> 0:12:05.680
<v Speaker 2>years and years ago. Yeah, and you stopped. You're a

0:12:05.720 --> 0:12:06.240
<v Speaker 2>non ghoster.

0:12:06.440 --> 0:12:09.920
<v Speaker 1>I have been sober from ghosting for probably four or

0:12:09.960 --> 0:12:10.720
<v Speaker 1>five years now.

0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:12.319
<v Speaker 2>Wow. Yeah, that's a long time.

0:12:12.480 --> 0:12:13.360
<v Speaker 1>I just never felt better.

0:12:13.640 --> 0:12:15.760
<v Speaker 2>Well, I think it comes with the maturity though as well,

0:12:15.840 --> 0:12:17.559
<v Speaker 2>right now that you're a bit older.

0:12:17.400 --> 0:12:17.840
<v Speaker 1>Thanks man.

0:12:17.920 --> 0:12:19.800
<v Speaker 2>And you also you know what it feels like to

0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:21.680
<v Speaker 2>be ghosted you now, I don't want to inflict that

0:12:21.679 --> 0:12:24.680
<v Speaker 2>same pain on somebody else, because there's nothing more annoying

0:12:24.760 --> 0:12:26.880
<v Speaker 2>when you're in a position and you think you've had

0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:28.839
<v Speaker 2>a really good date, Like you walk away from that

0:12:28.920 --> 0:12:31.960
<v Speaker 2>date going hey, I think I've really found someone special here,

0:12:32.480 --> 0:12:34.280
<v Speaker 2>and then you message them, and you back and forth

0:12:34.280 --> 0:12:35.680
<v Speaker 2>and you try and set up a date, and then

0:12:35.880 --> 0:12:37.800
<v Speaker 2>it just all of a sudden fades out, and then

0:12:37.840 --> 0:12:40.640
<v Speaker 2>you're there racking your brain going like, is it just me?

0:12:40.880 --> 0:12:43.960
<v Speaker 2>They are they okay? Maybe maybe they missed the message?

0:12:43.960 --> 0:12:47.240
<v Speaker 2>Do I message again? So people really need to have

0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:47.840
<v Speaker 2>that closure.

0:12:48.040 --> 0:12:49.520
<v Speaker 1>I think the best thing to do is just be honest.

0:12:49.559 --> 0:12:52.400
<v Speaker 1>But the second part of her question is here, She's like, Okay,

0:12:52.440 --> 0:12:55.320
<v Speaker 1>so fuck, he's ghosted me. But do I message and

0:12:55.400 --> 0:12:57.360
<v Speaker 1>follow up? Do I ask why? Do I try and

0:12:57.400 --> 0:12:59.880
<v Speaker 1>get an answer? Do I pretend like I don't know

0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:02.079
<v Speaker 1>he's ghosted me and be like, hey, just checking in,

0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:04.480
<v Speaker 1>like that message might not have gone through.

0:13:04.880 --> 0:13:07.960
<v Speaker 2>I think as much as you would like some closure,

0:13:08.080 --> 0:13:10.360
<v Speaker 2>because obviously that's going to allow you to move on

0:13:10.480 --> 0:13:13.200
<v Speaker 2>and get over it. I do think it's just going

0:13:13.280 --> 0:13:15.680
<v Speaker 2>to boil down to the the just there was nothing there.

0:13:16.000 --> 0:13:18.600
<v Speaker 2>If he's ghosting you, he's that kind of person where

0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:20.360
<v Speaker 2>he's not going to be really honest. He's going to

0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:23.679
<v Speaker 2>avoid confrontation. So if you then reach out to him

0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:25.840
<v Speaker 2>and say, hey, obviously it's not working out, can you

0:13:25.880 --> 0:13:28.520
<v Speaker 2>please give me some reason for why it didn't work out,

0:13:28.720 --> 0:13:31.240
<v Speaker 2>He's not gonna answer that in an honest way. I

0:13:31.280 --> 0:13:32.960
<v Speaker 2>don't think he's just going to give you some fluff

0:13:33.240 --> 0:13:35.640
<v Speaker 2>to try and just, you know, not offend you and

0:13:35.679 --> 0:13:36.560
<v Speaker 2>let you down lightly.

0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:40.320
<v Speaker 1>I agree ultimately, guys, it means that they're not interested.

0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:42.680
<v Speaker 1>Whether it's the girl ghosting or the guy, they're not

0:13:42.760 --> 0:13:45.959
<v Speaker 1>interested and they're not respectful enough to give you an answer.

0:13:46.040 --> 0:13:48.079
<v Speaker 1>So I would never if someone ghost me, I will

0:13:48.200 --> 0:13:50.280
<v Speaker 1>never chase it, never follow it up, and I will

0:13:50.280 --> 0:13:52.440
<v Speaker 1>never write something angry like fuck you ghost to me,

0:13:52.640 --> 0:13:53.800
<v Speaker 1>because it's a real What are you going to get

0:13:53.840 --> 0:13:55.640
<v Speaker 1>from that? That's what you've got to think. What are

0:13:55.679 --> 0:13:58.120
<v Speaker 1>you going to get from that? Even if they say

0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:00.320
<v Speaker 1>to you, imagine if they were Imagine if he's what

0:14:00.360 --> 0:14:03.120
<v Speaker 1>went wrong and they were really honest. They write back

0:14:03.160 --> 0:14:05.400
<v Speaker 1>and say, I didn't like the way you spoke about this,

0:14:05.520 --> 0:14:08.240
<v Speaker 1>I didn't like what you wore, I didn't like your hobbies.

0:14:08.400 --> 0:14:10.120
<v Speaker 1>You were like, you're not going to go and change yourself,

0:14:10.160 --> 0:14:13.080
<v Speaker 1>So why fucking no, Why have someone put you down

0:14:13.200 --> 0:14:13.440
<v Speaker 1>like that?

0:14:13.920 --> 0:14:16.319
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, one hundred percent, britt. And you know, it's funny.

0:14:16.760 --> 0:14:19.840
<v Speaker 2>There's been so many cases where I've had mates of

0:14:19.880 --> 0:14:22.960
<v Speaker 2>mine who have been ghosted before and they had the

0:14:23.000 --> 0:14:25.560
<v Speaker 2>exact same question of hey, should you know I messaged

0:14:25.560 --> 0:14:27.760
<v Speaker 2>her twice. Now I get the follow up message she

0:14:27.760 --> 0:14:31.360
<v Speaker 2>didn't write back. Should I ask you know? What went wrong?

0:14:31.520 --> 0:14:34.280
<v Speaker 2>I think it's interesting that both guys and girls get ghosted,

0:14:34.320 --> 0:14:36.160
<v Speaker 2>you know, very often. It's so easy to think that

0:14:36.200 --> 0:14:38.760
<v Speaker 2>it's just a male thing, but it's both parties.

0:14:39.040 --> 0:14:41.280
<v Speaker 1>No again. And I had a conversation with a girlfriend.

0:14:41.320 --> 0:14:42.840
<v Speaker 1>I was like, you can't do that anymore and I

0:14:42.840 --> 0:14:45.600
<v Speaker 1>want you to try and be better, and she's like,

0:14:45.680 --> 0:14:47.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to do it. She's like, I will from

0:14:47.240 --> 0:14:49.920
<v Speaker 1>now on. Just say and this is my message, guys,

0:14:49.920 --> 0:14:52.280
<v Speaker 1>this is what I say. Hey, I had a really

0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:54.960
<v Speaker 1>great time with you too. To be honest, I just

0:14:54.960 --> 0:14:57.160
<v Speaker 1>don't feel like there was anything more there, happy to

0:14:57.200 --> 0:14:57.800
<v Speaker 1>be friends with you.

0:14:57.840 --> 0:15:01.000
<v Speaker 2>Though perfect perfect, there are many signs that you become

0:15:01.040 --> 0:15:05.240
<v Speaker 2>an adult when you get a mortgage, when you buy

0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:08.160
<v Speaker 2>a car, and when you stop ghosting. Yeah, that's when

0:15:08.200 --> 0:15:09.120
<v Speaker 2>you become an adult.

0:15:09.560 --> 0:15:13.440
<v Speaker 1>Well, the next question, Matt is still on the ghosting train,

0:15:13.560 --> 0:15:15.600
<v Speaker 1>but it's as a guy. And that's because what my

0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:17.520
<v Speaker 1>friend was saying, She's like, I don't know what to

0:15:17.560 --> 0:15:18.640
<v Speaker 1>say to let them down?

0:15:18.800 --> 0:15:19.479
<v Speaker 2>Is it?

0:15:19.920 --> 0:15:22.880
<v Speaker 1>She said? Do guys actually want to hear the truth?

0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:27.360
<v Speaker 1>Or would a guy rather be ghosted? Because for women,

0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:30.400
<v Speaker 1>we don't want to be ghosted. I would rather the truth,

0:15:30.440 --> 0:15:33.200
<v Speaker 1>But is it the same for a guy, And what

0:15:33.200 --> 0:15:35.480
<v Speaker 1>would you want to hear? What is the best response,

0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:39.160
<v Speaker 1>Because all these girls out there, they get very awkward

0:15:39.400 --> 0:15:41.480
<v Speaker 1>about how to let someone down. Because women don't want

0:15:41.480 --> 0:15:43.840
<v Speaker 1>to hurt people's feelings, especially if the date's been great.

0:15:44.520 --> 0:15:46.240
<v Speaker 1>They don't know what to say, so that's why they

0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:46.800
<v Speaker 1>say nothing.

0:15:47.200 --> 0:15:50.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm sure that everybody out there, both guys and girls,

0:15:50.280 --> 0:15:52.760
<v Speaker 2>would rather have the other person be really honest as

0:15:52.760 --> 0:15:55.560
<v Speaker 2>opposed to being ghosted, because it just it just means

0:15:55.600 --> 0:15:58.720
<v Speaker 2>you can move on quicker and not still get hung

0:15:58.800 --> 0:16:02.040
<v Speaker 2>up on that person. What could have been. I think

0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:05.680
<v Speaker 2>in terms of being honest, as cliche as it is,

0:16:06.120 --> 0:16:08.720
<v Speaker 2>I think just the answer of you know, I just

0:16:08.760 --> 0:16:10.880
<v Speaker 2>didn't see it. There wasn't a spark there, because, like

0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:13.040
<v Speaker 2>you said, you don't want to be really honest and

0:16:13.080 --> 0:16:16.880
<v Speaker 2>be specific towards someone's personality or say I kind of

0:16:16.880 --> 0:16:19.200
<v Speaker 2>thought you were a bit arrogant, really, because that's not

0:16:19.240 --> 0:16:22.040
<v Speaker 2>going to do anything that's going to benefit that person.

0:16:22.120 --> 0:16:24.080
<v Speaker 2>It's just going to make them feel more shit about themselves.

0:16:24.160 --> 0:16:26.920
<v Speaker 1>If you go on two days and then you say,

0:16:27.000 --> 0:16:29.440
<v Speaker 1>let's catch up again and the woman says to you, look,

0:16:29.480 --> 0:16:30.800
<v Speaker 1>I've had a really great time in you, but I

0:16:30.800 --> 0:16:33.440
<v Speaker 1>don't feel anything. They're happy to be friends though. It's

0:16:33.480 --> 0:16:35.360
<v Speaker 1>not going to hurt your feelings, is it totally?

0:16:35.400 --> 0:16:37.040
<v Speaker 2>Totally? Yeah, you're going to get a bruisee to ego,

0:16:37.160 --> 0:16:39.160
<v Speaker 2>but then you'll move on so much quicker.

0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:41.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, okay, so there you go, guys. That's it. Just

0:16:41.480 --> 0:16:43.560
<v Speaker 1>be honest. Next question, are you ready?

0:16:43.800 --> 0:16:45.000
<v Speaker 2>Is this question two or three?

0:16:45.280 --> 0:16:46.880
<v Speaker 1>Well, that was like a mix that was like two

0:16:46.920 --> 0:16:50.960
<v Speaker 1>one point five because I mixed, I blended two into one.

0:16:51.360 --> 0:16:55.440
<v Speaker 2>Is just quick, quicker, little time out. This is you're

0:16:55.440 --> 0:16:57.800
<v Speaker 2>happy with? This is this. You're missing Laura.

0:16:58.360 --> 0:17:00.200
<v Speaker 1>Oh I thought you were actually asking me off. Yeah,

0:17:00.200 --> 0:17:02.800
<v Speaker 1>but you're actually asking me. I am missing Laura, except

0:17:02.840 --> 0:17:04.840
<v Speaker 1>she's in my line of view, so I can see

0:17:04.880 --> 0:17:08.719
<v Speaker 1>her right now. This is fun, It's something different. I'm

0:17:09.000 --> 0:17:09.399
<v Speaker 1>enjoying it.

0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:10.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm having a good time.

0:17:10.880 --> 0:17:13.440
<v Speaker 1>This is great you just compared to yours.

0:17:13.440 --> 0:17:14.399
<v Speaker 2>We should do this again.

0:17:14.720 --> 0:17:17.199
<v Speaker 1>Oh, look at that. He's really trying to sell himself. Guys,

0:17:17.520 --> 0:17:18.960
<v Speaker 1>we might put a poll out and see if we

0:17:19.000 --> 0:17:19.600
<v Speaker 1>want Matt.

0:17:19.520 --> 0:17:24.159
<v Speaker 2>Ba't please don't. If you don't enjoy it, just ghost me.

0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:25.760
<v Speaker 2>Don't give you the feedback.

0:17:25.600 --> 0:17:26.840
<v Speaker 1>You just literally said. OK.

0:17:27.760 --> 0:17:29.600
<v Speaker 2>When it comes to podcast, ghosting is a way to

0:17:29.640 --> 0:17:31.240
<v Speaker 2>go all right.

0:17:31.359 --> 0:17:34.440
<v Speaker 1>Next question, So I seem to have this problem where

0:17:34.440 --> 0:17:37.359
<v Speaker 1>guys only see me as good mates good friends. I

0:17:37.400 --> 0:17:39.359
<v Speaker 1>have always been the type of person who has naturally

0:17:39.400 --> 0:17:41.639
<v Speaker 1>gotten along better with guys because I'm really down to

0:17:41.720 --> 0:17:44.479
<v Speaker 1>earth and I cannot deal with bitchy girls. But that

0:17:44.560 --> 0:17:47.040
<v Speaker 1>has seemed to follow me into the dating world. When

0:17:47.080 --> 0:17:48.960
<v Speaker 1>I go on dates with guys and we see each

0:17:48.960 --> 0:17:50.800
<v Speaker 1>other for a couple of weeks, it just turns into

0:17:50.840 --> 0:17:53.680
<v Speaker 1>a really great friendship and nothing more. And I'm still

0:17:53.720 --> 0:17:55.560
<v Speaker 1>great friends with all the guys that I have kind

0:17:55.560 --> 0:17:58.359
<v Speaker 1>of dated. My only long term relationship was with my

0:17:58.400 --> 0:18:00.960
<v Speaker 1>best friend, but the whole time we we never had

0:18:01.000 --> 0:18:03.080
<v Speaker 1>sex because we were super closed, but not on a

0:18:03.119 --> 0:18:06.560
<v Speaker 1>relationship level. Is there something I'm doing wrong when it

0:18:06.560 --> 0:18:08.760
<v Speaker 1>comes to dating, because guys either only want to be

0:18:08.760 --> 0:18:14.160
<v Speaker 1>fuck buddies, friends with benefits, or just friends. Help. Wow, Wow,

0:18:14.520 --> 0:18:16.680
<v Speaker 1>so she's just constantly friend zoned? What's she doing?

0:18:16.720 --> 0:18:18.679
<v Speaker 2>Do you think, Oh, that's a tricky one. That's a

0:18:18.680 --> 0:18:20.840
<v Speaker 2>tricky one. And I've had I've had friends who have

0:18:20.920 --> 0:18:25.080
<v Speaker 2>come to me with a similar situation, and I think

0:18:25.119 --> 0:18:28.280
<v Speaker 2>of it as you are such a rare breed.

0:18:28.600 --> 0:18:31.760
<v Speaker 1>Thank you.

0:18:32.560 --> 0:18:35.879
<v Speaker 2>The question the question from the listener, because I think

0:18:36.200 --> 0:18:40.400
<v Speaker 2>the dream is to find someone who you're best friends with, right,

0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:44.520
<v Speaker 2>someone who you have similar interests. Guys really want that,

0:18:44.560 --> 0:18:46.440
<v Speaker 2>they want someone who is going to be their best mates,

0:18:46.480 --> 0:18:49.840
<v Speaker 2>someone who they can have a relationship with that's more

0:18:49.880 --> 0:18:51.880
<v Speaker 2>than just a sexual connection.

0:18:52.080 --> 0:18:54.399
<v Speaker 1>But do you think the problem is and I totally

0:18:54.440 --> 0:18:55.919
<v Speaker 1>agree with that. I think you want to marry your

0:18:55.920 --> 0:18:57.600
<v Speaker 1>best friend and you want to be with your best friend,

0:18:57.920 --> 0:19:01.000
<v Speaker 1>But do you think that that best friend should come

0:19:01.040 --> 0:19:02.800
<v Speaker 1>down the track? Is this? Do you think that she's

0:19:02.880 --> 0:19:05.560
<v Speaker 1>jumping into that too quickly, so they don't these guys

0:19:05.560 --> 0:19:08.680
<v Speaker 1>aren't seeing the romance develop and that maybe that best

0:19:08.680 --> 0:19:11.280
<v Speaker 1>friend part comes down the track. Because I also have

0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:12.919
<v Speaker 1>friends that are like this. I've got a few friends

0:19:12.920 --> 0:19:16.119
<v Speaker 1>that are constantly friend zoned. I'm actually friend zoned a

0:19:16.160 --> 0:19:18.520
<v Speaker 1>lot too. Hurt my heart.

0:19:20.440 --> 0:19:23.280
<v Speaker 2>But you call yourself a bit of a tomboy, don't you.

0:19:23.280 --> 0:19:25.240
<v Speaker 1>No, I grew up as a tomboy one hundred percent.

0:19:25.320 --> 0:19:27.320
<v Speaker 1>All my friends were guys. Every weekend was with a

0:19:27.359 --> 0:19:28.800
<v Speaker 1>boy surfing question.

0:19:29.040 --> 0:19:31.760
<v Speaker 2>If you meet someone who you're really vibing with, would

0:19:31.800 --> 0:19:35.560
<v Speaker 2>you ever tone down those tomboy elements in your personality?

0:19:35.680 --> 0:19:38.400
<v Speaker 2>Try and seem a bit more girly so you're not

0:19:38.480 --> 0:19:39.679
<v Speaker 2>just seen as a mate.

0:19:39.720 --> 0:19:41.880
<v Speaker 1>When I'm on a date, I'm very girly. I wear

0:19:41.920 --> 0:19:46.200
<v Speaker 1>girly things. I'm just myself, but I'm probably a slightly

0:19:46.320 --> 0:19:49.760
<v Speaker 1>watered down version of myself because we all know exactly

0:19:49.840 --> 0:19:52.280
<v Speaker 1>what I'm like. Tring them in slowly, I don't let

0:19:52.320 --> 0:19:56.399
<v Speaker 1>the laugh out Day one like that's the day two. Okay.

0:19:56.400 --> 0:19:59.440
<v Speaker 1>I have two opinions here. I am of the opinion

0:19:59.600 --> 0:20:02.480
<v Speaker 1>that you can have this beautiful friendship with someone for

0:20:02.520 --> 0:20:05.080
<v Speaker 1>a long time and then realize that, oh my god,

0:20:05.160 --> 0:20:06.919
<v Speaker 1>you're my human and I never knew it because all

0:20:06.920 --> 0:20:08.560
<v Speaker 1>of a sudden you know each other inside out. And

0:20:08.880 --> 0:20:11.439
<v Speaker 1>I think that that is wonderful. But I think that

0:20:11.520 --> 0:20:13.879
<v Speaker 1>there can be an element sometimes when you go on

0:20:13.920 --> 0:20:16.280
<v Speaker 1>a first date or a second date, if you jump

0:20:16.320 --> 0:20:19.159
<v Speaker 1>in too soon and I think you're too much, you

0:20:19.200 --> 0:20:22.280
<v Speaker 1>can definitely give off too many friend vibes straight up.

0:20:22.400 --> 0:20:24.040
<v Speaker 2>Like if you're grabbing him in a headlock and giving

0:20:24.080 --> 0:20:24.560
<v Speaker 2>him you know.

0:20:25.280 --> 0:20:27.400
<v Speaker 1>If you're at the club with the boys and you're

0:20:27.400 --> 0:20:29.840
<v Speaker 1>having your boys jokes and you're drinking your beers and

0:20:29.880 --> 0:20:32.200
<v Speaker 1>you're talking about the football. All these things are fine,

0:20:32.600 --> 0:20:34.359
<v Speaker 1>And I just want you to be hyper aware that

0:20:34.400 --> 0:20:36.920
<v Speaker 1>all of a sudden, the guy's like, this is what

0:20:36.960 --> 0:20:38.479
<v Speaker 1>I'm in He's thinking this is what I do with

0:20:38.480 --> 0:20:40.240
<v Speaker 1>my friends every weekend, and now I'm doing this here

0:20:40.240 --> 0:20:43.000
<v Speaker 1>with you, and he might subconsciously be like, cool, she's

0:20:43.040 --> 0:20:44.840
<v Speaker 1>gonna be cool to hang out with us, and they

0:20:44.880 --> 0:20:46.720
<v Speaker 1>lose that romantic touch. I think you've got to sort

0:20:46.760 --> 0:20:49.600
<v Speaker 1>of build to that sometimes. And I don't mean hide

0:20:49.600 --> 0:20:52.360
<v Speaker 1>who you are. I just mean let there be that

0:20:52.680 --> 0:20:55.240
<v Speaker 1>This is different to the boys. This is beautiful women.

0:20:55.480 --> 0:20:57.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm on a really nice dinner date with like what

0:20:57.880 --> 0:20:59.879
<v Speaker 1>guys go out and have romantic dinner dates with it

0:21:00.000 --> 0:21:01.359
<v Speaker 1>each other? You know, they go to the pub and

0:21:01.440 --> 0:21:01.879
<v Speaker 1>they drink.

0:21:02.000 --> 0:21:03.639
<v Speaker 2>Me and my mates would go out for like a

0:21:03.640 --> 0:21:07.399
<v Speaker 2>beautiful love to dinner, candle live, beautiful view of the harbor.

0:21:07.520 --> 0:21:12.320
<v Speaker 1>I actually I actually get one. But do you know

0:21:12.359 --> 0:21:14.159
<v Speaker 1>what I'm saying. I think you can jump in too

0:21:14.240 --> 0:21:16.479
<v Speaker 1>quickly sometimes to be one of the boys.

0:21:16.720 --> 0:21:18.960
<v Speaker 2>Initially, when you started saying that, I was like, what,

0:21:19.240 --> 0:21:21.760
<v Speaker 2>I disagree, brit because I think, you know, you should

0:21:21.800 --> 0:21:24.240
<v Speaker 2>just be yourself. You know, there's nothing wrong with you.

0:21:24.240 --> 0:21:26.760
<v Speaker 2>Shouldn't you shouldn't have to water down your personality to

0:21:26.800 --> 0:21:29.080
<v Speaker 2>try and make yourself seem more appealing to the other person.

0:21:29.920 --> 0:21:32.080
<v Speaker 2>I do think you need to have some separation between

0:21:32.960 --> 0:21:35.879
<v Speaker 2>being someone who's going to be categorized as a friend

0:21:36.040 --> 0:21:39.120
<v Speaker 2>versus being someone who you're going to form a romantic

0:21:39.119 --> 0:21:42.399
<v Speaker 2>connection with. And I think you know, like, especially in

0:21:42.440 --> 0:21:46.600
<v Speaker 2>the early stages of dating someone, you know, you do

0:21:46.640 --> 0:21:49.639
<v Speaker 2>want to be a bit more flirty as opposed to

0:21:49.680 --> 0:21:52.520
<v Speaker 2>being more more matey. And I think, especially you know,

0:21:52.560 --> 0:21:55.000
<v Speaker 2>when other person's trying to figure out like, what is this?

0:21:55.119 --> 0:21:57.960
<v Speaker 2>Is there a spark? There is there not for that

0:21:58.000 --> 0:22:00.280
<v Speaker 2>spark to develop quicker? I think, yeah, you may, maybe

0:22:00.280 --> 0:22:01.480
<v Speaker 2>you do have to be more flirty.

0:22:01.880 --> 0:22:04.280
<v Speaker 1>There is also the chance, guys, just got to throw

0:22:04.320 --> 0:22:06.520
<v Speaker 1>this out there, that you just haven't met the one

0:22:06.560 --> 0:22:08.520
<v Speaker 1>yet and that's why you're not in a relationship. Same

0:22:08.560 --> 0:22:10.239
<v Speaker 1>reason I've been single so long. Well, I think it's

0:22:10.280 --> 0:22:14.080
<v Speaker 1>the reason I've been single for so long because I

0:22:14.160 --> 0:22:16.120
<v Speaker 1>just haven't met my person yet. And that is why

0:22:16.880 --> 0:22:17.440
<v Speaker 1>I agree.

0:22:17.480 --> 0:22:20.080
<v Speaker 2>And I think it's credit to this girl who's put

0:22:20.119 --> 0:22:23.439
<v Speaker 2>the question in that she's obviously an absolute legend, and

0:22:23.520 --> 0:22:25.480
<v Speaker 2>normally when you don't have a spark with someone and

0:22:25.480 --> 0:22:27.840
<v Speaker 2>you've gone on a date, you would just move on

0:22:28.160 --> 0:22:30.720
<v Speaker 2>and not see that person again. Because she's such a legend,

0:22:30.720 --> 0:22:32.480
<v Speaker 2>They're like, hey, let's well, you know, we don't have

0:22:32.520 --> 0:22:34.640
<v Speaker 2>a romantic connection, but let's be friends.

0:22:34.520 --> 0:22:37.360
<v Speaker 1>Also, just so you guys know, because I think there'll

0:22:37.359 --> 0:22:38.879
<v Speaker 1>be a lot of people that listen to this, being like,

0:22:39.000 --> 0:22:41.080
<v Speaker 1>I feel the same thing. That's exactly me. I feel

0:22:41.080 --> 0:22:45.040
<v Speaker 1>that incomplete transparency, Matt, how many times have I come

0:22:45.080 --> 0:22:48.960
<v Speaker 1>over here to you and Laura and been really down

0:22:49.000 --> 0:22:50.000
<v Speaker 1>and said what's wrong with me?

0:22:50.800 --> 0:22:52.400
<v Speaker 2>Twice a day for the last three months.

0:22:53.240 --> 0:22:56.199
<v Speaker 1>But really, sometimes you get so defeated because you do

0:22:56.280 --> 0:22:59.040
<v Speaker 1>get in that mindset where you're like, Wow, what's wrong

0:22:59.080 --> 0:23:00.720
<v Speaker 1>with me? What's wrong with me? Something's wrong with me?

0:23:00.760 --> 0:23:03.520
<v Speaker 1>Because everyone wants to be my friend. Everyone says I'm great,

0:23:03.560 --> 0:23:05.800
<v Speaker 1>but no one wants to actually have this relationship. But

0:23:06.359 --> 0:23:08.399
<v Speaker 1>and you're you guys are always saying to me, you know,

0:23:08.440 --> 0:23:10.399
<v Speaker 1>it's not that there's nothing wrong with you, it's just

0:23:10.440 --> 0:23:13.280
<v Speaker 1>that you haven't met the one so and you should

0:23:13.280 --> 0:23:15.320
<v Speaker 1>never change for anyone. I don't want this girl to

0:23:15.359 --> 0:23:17.040
<v Speaker 1>be like, oh, well I need to hide who I

0:23:17.040 --> 0:23:19.399
<v Speaker 1>am for six months in a relationship. That's absolutely not

0:23:19.480 --> 0:23:20.960
<v Speaker 1>Whatwa's saying. And no one should ever do that.

0:23:21.200 --> 0:23:25.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, exactly. You know, I think about Laura and my relationship,

0:23:25.359 --> 0:23:28.800
<v Speaker 2>and in the early days, you know, we were definitely

0:23:28.880 --> 0:23:30.959
<v Speaker 2>ourselves in front of each other, but you know, there

0:23:30.960 --> 0:23:32.680
<v Speaker 2>were certain things that we didn't do because we were

0:23:32.720 --> 0:23:35.399
<v Speaker 2>really trying to impress the other person. Like if Laura

0:23:35.480 --> 0:23:38.560
<v Speaker 2>farted back in the day as much as she did now,

0:23:38.720 --> 0:23:40.320
<v Speaker 2>I don't think we would have ended up together.

0:23:41.000 --> 0:23:44.239
<v Speaker 1>And like Laura wasn't letting it rip day one was she.

0:23:43.680 --> 0:23:46.760
<v Speaker 2>She definitely didn't, and thank goodness that she held back.

0:23:48.400 --> 0:23:49.120
<v Speaker 1>All Right, that's enough.

0:23:50.640 --> 0:23:52.720
<v Speaker 2>It's like a champion bridge, it really does.

0:23:53.040 --> 0:23:54.520
<v Speaker 1>I know that. But I wouldn't throw on ato the

0:23:54.560 --> 0:23:55.160
<v Speaker 1>buse like you.

0:23:55.119 --> 0:23:56.800
<v Speaker 2>Do every every day.

0:23:57.040 --> 0:24:01.560
<v Speaker 1>It's all right, let's go on to the big question. Hey, ladies,

0:24:01.640 --> 0:24:04.600
<v Speaker 1>slash Matt, I would really appreciate your advice.

0:24:04.720 --> 0:24:07.000
<v Speaker 2>How did that person know that I was going to

0:24:07.080 --> 0:24:10.840
<v Speaker 2>fill in? I'm just improving my sorry, continue continue break good,

0:24:10.880 --> 0:24:11.840
<v Speaker 2>good improv I'm.

0:24:11.720 --> 0:24:14.520
<v Speaker 1>Good on my toes. So I've been with my boyfriend

0:24:14.560 --> 0:24:16.960
<v Speaker 1>for eight months now, and we have a beautiful relationship.

0:24:17.040 --> 0:24:21.400
<v Speaker 1>He's caring, loving, and emotionally mature. Well that is rare. However,

0:24:21.480 --> 0:24:23.760
<v Speaker 1>I've recently been getting the feeling that he and my

0:24:24.000 --> 0:24:27.480
<v Speaker 1>housemates slash friend are kind of into each other. It's

0:24:27.520 --> 0:24:29.359
<v Speaker 1>great that they get along so well, but I've been

0:24:29.400 --> 0:24:32.240
<v Speaker 1>noticing a bit of a flirty vibe, for example, lots

0:24:32.240 --> 0:24:35.199
<v Speaker 1>of eye contact, my housemate getting close to him, or

0:24:35.359 --> 0:24:38.800
<v Speaker 1>feeling like they're trying to impress each other. Now, I

0:24:38.840 --> 0:24:40.920
<v Speaker 1>don't know if I'm just reading into things and they're

0:24:41.000 --> 0:24:44.360
<v Speaker 1>just friends. My boyfriend has said on multiple occasions that

0:24:44.400 --> 0:24:47.200
<v Speaker 1>he loves that they're all real friends now, but it's

0:24:47.240 --> 0:24:51.240
<v Speaker 1>been making me feel quite uncomfortable. Do you think my

0:24:51.280 --> 0:24:53.760
<v Speaker 1>insecurities are getting the better of me and I'm just

0:24:53.800 --> 0:24:56.199
<v Speaker 1>overthinking this? Or is there actually something more there that

0:24:56.200 --> 0:24:58.040
<v Speaker 1>I should be worried about? Do I bring it up

0:24:58.080 --> 0:24:59.800
<v Speaker 1>with him or her? Please help?

0:25:00.440 --> 0:25:03.680
<v Speaker 2>It's hard to answer this one without knowing exactly what

0:25:03.840 --> 0:25:06.760
<v Speaker 2>is happening, you know, if I would love to know

0:25:06.960 --> 0:25:09.200
<v Speaker 2>if it is just a cheeky little eye and like

0:25:09.240 --> 0:25:11.640
<v Speaker 2>a little shoulder tap here and there, or if it's

0:25:11.680 --> 0:25:15.880
<v Speaker 2>something a little bit more sinister. But I'm gonna I'll

0:25:15.920 --> 0:25:18.920
<v Speaker 2>interpret this one and think it's exactly as she stated

0:25:18.920 --> 0:25:21.440
<v Speaker 2>in her question. I think she is being a little

0:25:21.440 --> 0:25:24.639
<v Speaker 2>bit insecure here. I think she is letting it get

0:25:24.640 --> 0:25:26.880
<v Speaker 2>the better of her. And I think what she's got

0:25:27.000 --> 0:25:29.480
<v Speaker 2>is something that's quite rare, And I think it is

0:25:30.320 --> 0:25:33.480
<v Speaker 2>really hard to find someone a partner who gets along

0:25:33.480 --> 0:25:35.640
<v Speaker 2>with your friends really well, and that's what she's got.

0:25:35.640 --> 0:25:38.320
<v Speaker 2>Like this is she's got what so many people want

0:25:38.520 --> 0:25:40.760
<v Speaker 2>and the fact that they can all get get along together.

0:25:41.280 --> 0:25:45.080
<v Speaker 2>She should really try and embrace that. Although I think

0:25:45.200 --> 0:25:48.119
<v Speaker 2>if it is giving her issues at the moment, she

0:25:48.320 --> 0:25:50.080
<v Speaker 2>does need to raise that because what you don't want

0:25:50.080 --> 0:25:54.560
<v Speaker 2>to have happen is that frustration with the potential flirting

0:25:54.560 --> 0:25:57.959
<v Speaker 2>with her housemate that could so easily eat away at

0:25:58.000 --> 0:26:01.000
<v Speaker 2>her inside. And if something else happens outside of flirting,

0:26:01.040 --> 0:26:03.199
<v Speaker 2>like let's say he's done something wrong, it will be

0:26:03.200 --> 0:26:06.320
<v Speaker 2>so easy for that frustration to then be vented through

0:26:06.359 --> 0:26:08.760
<v Speaker 2>other things, and then he'll be going, well, why is

0:26:08.800 --> 0:26:11.200
<v Speaker 2>she so annoyed? And I did such a tiny little

0:26:11.200 --> 0:26:13.080
<v Speaker 2>thing wrong and all of a sudden, she's blowing it

0:26:13.160 --> 0:26:16.320
<v Speaker 2>way out of proportion. He doesn't realize that behind the scenes,

0:26:16.800 --> 0:26:21.400
<v Speaker 2>there's this internal frustration insecurity that's been eating away at her.

0:26:21.680 --> 0:26:24.280
<v Speaker 2>So I think I think the most important thing here

0:26:24.440 --> 0:26:26.679
<v Speaker 2>is is making sure that you have strong communication with

0:26:26.760 --> 0:26:28.520
<v Speaker 2>your partner. So I think she does need to sit

0:26:28.560 --> 0:26:31.199
<v Speaker 2>down and talk to him and not do it in

0:26:31.240 --> 0:26:34.080
<v Speaker 2>a way where she's blaming him and putting it on him,

0:26:34.080 --> 0:26:37.280
<v Speaker 2>because because really maybe he's not doing anything wrong, So

0:26:37.640 --> 0:26:39.400
<v Speaker 2>she can't do it in a way which is attacking

0:26:39.440 --> 0:26:42.879
<v Speaker 2>towards her partner. Otherwise he's just gonna arc up and

0:26:43.000 --> 0:26:45.240
<v Speaker 2>it'll turn into a huge argument. I think she needs

0:26:45.280 --> 0:26:48.879
<v Speaker 2>to be honest and say, hey, sometimes I'm feeling a

0:26:48.920 --> 0:26:51.560
<v Speaker 2>little bit insecure about how you're acting with you know

0:26:51.640 --> 0:26:54.360
<v Speaker 2>so and so. So by having that conversation with him,

0:26:54.359 --> 0:26:57.879
<v Speaker 2>by bringing it out into the open, she's really allowing

0:26:58.000 --> 0:26:59.240
<v Speaker 2>him to put her mind at ease.

0:27:00.119 --> 0:27:03.600
<v Speaker 1>I have a few feels here again, Like Matt said,

0:27:03.640 --> 0:27:07.200
<v Speaker 1>it's really hard for us to give really honest advice

0:27:07.240 --> 0:27:09.760
<v Speaker 1>when we don't know the extent of the flirting and

0:27:09.800 --> 0:27:12.760
<v Speaker 1>the situation. And she said they get close. What is close?

0:27:12.960 --> 0:27:16.240
<v Speaker 1>Is she massaging his neck? Is she touching him and

0:27:16.320 --> 0:27:16.879
<v Speaker 1>she's talking?

0:27:17.840 --> 0:27:19.320
<v Speaker 2>Is massaging of the neck? Is that wrong?

0:27:19.800 --> 0:27:20.040
<v Speaker 1>Well?

0:27:20.560 --> 0:27:21.880
<v Speaker 2>I mean, yeah, it is.

0:27:21.920 --> 0:27:23.440
<v Speaker 1>It is wrong, That's what I'm saying.

0:27:23.600 --> 0:27:25.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, now you are holding back. I was like, no,

0:27:25.680 --> 0:27:29.679
<v Speaker 2>come on, and your partner's massaging your No, that's.

0:27:29.520 --> 0:27:31.520
<v Speaker 1>What I was trying to picture me, massage in your neck.

0:27:31.560 --> 0:27:33.199
<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, yes, that's wrong. I was like, you

0:27:33.320 --> 0:27:35.960
<v Speaker 1>just wouldn't do it. So what's the closeness? Is it

0:27:36.080 --> 0:27:37.920
<v Speaker 1>like a hit on the shoulder when you've made a

0:27:37.920 --> 0:27:40.280
<v Speaker 1>funny joke or you're laughing at him. Is it like

0:27:40.400 --> 0:27:41.920
<v Speaker 1>that they just sitting next to each other and the

0:27:41.960 --> 0:27:43.960
<v Speaker 1>couch too closed, or are they touching and massaging each

0:27:43.960 --> 0:27:46.439
<v Speaker 1>other's neck like what is closeness and otherwise the only

0:27:46.480 --> 0:27:50.120
<v Speaker 1>other thing you've really said is eye contact. I hope

0:27:50.119 --> 0:27:51.760
<v Speaker 1>they're having eye contact.

0:27:51.640 --> 0:27:55.520
<v Speaker 2>Surely right because they're getting along, they're friends. Eye contact

0:27:55.200 --> 0:27:59.840
<v Speaker 2>doesn't justify either one of them pushing past that line

0:28:00.280 --> 0:28:02.040
<v Speaker 2>of that, you know, the boundary of friendship.

0:28:02.280 --> 0:28:04.240
<v Speaker 1>What more would you want than your friends to get

0:28:04.240 --> 0:28:07.160
<v Speaker 1>along with your partner. It's like everybody's dream. No one

0:28:07.200 --> 0:28:09.560
<v Speaker 1>wants their friends to hate their partner and their partner

0:28:09.600 --> 0:28:11.919
<v Speaker 1>to hate their friends, and there's always an awkwardness. So

0:28:12.280 --> 0:28:16.720
<v Speaker 1>first up, it sounds like you've got a pretty good situation. Secondly,

0:28:16.800 --> 0:28:20.440
<v Speaker 1>you've been with him for eight months now. I hope

0:28:20.640 --> 0:28:23.680
<v Speaker 1>by this point you're at a point where you either

0:28:23.720 --> 0:28:26.000
<v Speaker 1>trust him or you don't. That's what I would like

0:28:26.040 --> 0:28:27.560
<v Speaker 1>to think. I would be out after eight months of

0:28:27.560 --> 0:28:29.679
<v Speaker 1>a relationship. I'd like to know that I'm comfortable in

0:28:29.720 --> 0:28:32.800
<v Speaker 1>my relationship, that I trust my partner. So that's a

0:28:32.840 --> 0:28:34.520
<v Speaker 1>little bit of like a red flag for me, the

0:28:34.560 --> 0:28:38.320
<v Speaker 1>fact that you're unsure. Another point is this is your

0:28:38.520 --> 0:28:43.040
<v Speaker 1>friend and your housemate. I feel like you two should

0:28:43.040 --> 0:28:45.040
<v Speaker 1>have a relationship where you know that you can trust

0:28:45.040 --> 0:28:48.280
<v Speaker 1>your friend. Like seep down, you really think that your

0:28:48.320 --> 0:28:53.880
<v Speaker 1>friend and your partner have something going on. That's one

0:28:53.920 --> 0:28:55.560
<v Speaker 1>hundred percent of flag that you need to sit down

0:28:55.560 --> 0:28:58.240
<v Speaker 1>and have a conversation, because if you are feeling like that,

0:28:58.280 --> 0:29:00.520
<v Speaker 1>even if they're not doing something wrong, there's something that

0:29:00.560 --> 0:29:02.840
<v Speaker 1>needs to be spoken about because there's an insecurity and

0:29:02.880 --> 0:29:05.880
<v Speaker 1>an unsettling feeling festering within you, and if you let

0:29:05.960 --> 0:29:08.520
<v Speaker 1>that fester, like you said, Matt, you're going to implode.

0:29:08.600 --> 0:29:11.280
<v Speaker 1>Everything that wouldn't have normally been an issue is going

0:29:11.320 --> 0:29:15.240
<v Speaker 1>to become an issue. So I think probably nothing is

0:29:15.240 --> 0:29:17.160
<v Speaker 1>going on. I think you're just at a point where

0:29:17.200 --> 0:29:20.680
<v Speaker 1>you're still a little bit nervous about the relationship and

0:29:20.760 --> 0:29:23.200
<v Speaker 1>maybe not completely comfortable with him yet. So sit down

0:29:23.240 --> 0:29:26.080
<v Speaker 1>and have the conversation, and also don't accuse him of anything.

0:29:26.080 --> 0:29:28.840
<v Speaker 1>Be like, babe, tell me I'm crazy, But do you

0:29:28.880 --> 0:29:31.400
<v Speaker 1>ever feel like, I don't know, is Sarah flirting with

0:29:31.440 --> 0:29:33.400
<v Speaker 1>you sometimes? Or am I not you? You could say

0:29:33.400 --> 0:29:36.840
<v Speaker 1>it like that and he's going to be like, babe, ye, don't.

0:29:36.680 --> 0:29:38.400
<v Speaker 2>Be ridiculous, there's nothing there.

0:29:38.640 --> 0:29:38.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:29:39.120 --> 0:29:41.440
<v Speaker 2>And then, because what you want to avoid is it

0:29:41.560 --> 0:29:44.560
<v Speaker 2>worst case scenario here would be having a fight with

0:29:44.600 --> 0:29:47.360
<v Speaker 2>your housemate and making your environment at home, be one

0:29:47.360 --> 0:29:49.720
<v Speaker 2>that you don't want to live in anymore, or then

0:29:49.800 --> 0:29:51.760
<v Speaker 2>you know, potentially having an argument with your boyfriend and

0:29:51.800 --> 0:29:53.680
<v Speaker 2>pushing him away. You know you don't want it to

0:29:53.680 --> 0:29:56.000
<v Speaker 2>be awkward for him to come to your place, because

0:29:56.120 --> 0:29:58.080
<v Speaker 2>I think you really need to jump on this really

0:29:58.160 --> 0:30:00.760
<v Speaker 2>quickly before it grows into being an thing more severe.

0:30:01.000 --> 0:30:03.760
<v Speaker 1>The other thing is, well, I think this happens to

0:30:03.760 --> 0:30:06.160
<v Speaker 1>me a lot too, because obviously, as I'm single, all

0:30:06.200 --> 0:30:08.760
<v Speaker 1>of my friends are in relationships. A lot of them

0:30:08.800 --> 0:30:13.080
<v Speaker 1>are married, engaged kids. I find myself often in these

0:30:13.160 --> 0:30:16.000
<v Speaker 1>weird friendships. So it's not that I'm not I don't

0:30:16.000 --> 0:30:19.560
<v Speaker 1>mean it's weird, but all my friends are couples now.

0:30:19.800 --> 0:30:24.040
<v Speaker 1>None none of those friends would ever ever question whether

0:30:24.080 --> 0:30:25.880
<v Speaker 1>something was going on with me and their partner. I

0:30:25.920 --> 0:30:28.240
<v Speaker 1>hang out with you guys all the time. I would

0:30:28.400 --> 0:30:30.800
<v Speaker 1>text Matt like I text Matt today about today. I

0:30:30.840 --> 0:30:32.680
<v Speaker 1>don't tell Laura, I don't message Laura and say I'm

0:30:32.720 --> 0:30:35.360
<v Speaker 1>just text Matt about this. So we can have a

0:30:35.400 --> 0:30:39.680
<v Speaker 1>relationship like that, because as friendship is, trust ultimately comes

0:30:39.680 --> 0:30:42.479
<v Speaker 1>down to trust. We all trust each other. Everyone in

0:30:42.520 --> 0:30:45.480
<v Speaker 1>my life trusts each other. Otherwise there's no point the

0:30:45.520 --> 0:30:47.440
<v Speaker 1>friendship's not going to happen. The relationship is not going

0:30:47.480 --> 0:30:49.840
<v Speaker 1>to happen. It's going to be disaster totally.

0:30:49.840 --> 0:30:51.000
<v Speaker 2>So at the end of the day, the person who

0:30:51.040 --> 0:30:53.840
<v Speaker 2>submitted this question, they really need to figure out if

0:30:54.360 --> 0:30:56.720
<v Speaker 2>this this thought, this fear that she's having at the

0:30:56.760 --> 0:30:59.280
<v Speaker 2>moment with her partner and housemate, is that coming from

0:30:59.400 --> 0:31:03.240
<v Speaker 2>a deep sea insecurity that's maybe coming from a previous relationship,

0:31:03.600 --> 0:31:06.680
<v Speaker 2>or is her partner or housemate actually doing the wrong thing?

0:31:06.720 --> 0:31:09.160
<v Speaker 2>And by the sounds of it, I don't think either

0:31:09.200 --> 0:31:10.440
<v Speaker 2>one of them has crossed the line.

0:31:10.720 --> 0:31:13.280
<v Speaker 1>Radio Matt, We're going to throw in one extra question

0:31:13.680 --> 0:31:15.920
<v Speaker 1>just because we've got you as such a special guess

0:31:15.960 --> 0:31:18.080
<v Speaker 1>and we really want to utilize your wisdom.

0:31:18.720 --> 0:31:20.600
<v Speaker 2>What are we talking about? How to get.

0:31:20.440 --> 0:31:23.400
<v Speaker 1>Abs or flattery? Agats you everywhere? Doesn't it? No? Not

0:31:23.440 --> 0:31:26.479
<v Speaker 1>how to get at you don't have any ads.

0:31:27.120 --> 0:31:29.560
<v Speaker 2>I used to have abs before I was a dad.

0:31:30.080 --> 0:31:34.000
<v Speaker 1>Heykay, I have a dilemma for ask guncut Radio Guys.

0:31:34.040 --> 0:31:36.120
<v Speaker 1>I've been with my boyfriend for a year before we

0:31:36.200 --> 0:31:38.640
<v Speaker 1>became official. We were fuck buddies for about six months.

0:31:39.000 --> 0:31:41.520
<v Speaker 1>We got into the relationship mainly because it just seems

0:31:41.560 --> 0:31:43.600
<v Speaker 1>like the next thing to do, even though neither of

0:31:43.680 --> 0:31:46.640
<v Speaker 1>us really wanted it. He is the best guy and

0:31:46.680 --> 0:31:50.200
<v Speaker 1>I absolutely adore him. However, I go through these periods

0:31:50.240 --> 0:31:51.960
<v Speaker 1>where I doubt if I want to be in a relationship,

0:31:52.000 --> 0:31:54.360
<v Speaker 1>as I'm only twenty years old and we kind of

0:31:54.360 --> 0:31:56.800
<v Speaker 1>have always just been in a relationship. I have this

0:31:56.880 --> 0:31:59.400
<v Speaker 1>restless feeling like I want to be by myself. My

0:31:59.520 --> 0:32:02.719
<v Speaker 1>question is is this a situation of the grass is greener?

0:32:03.200 --> 0:32:06.120
<v Speaker 1>Or is this doubting a sign that he's just not

0:32:06.200 --> 0:32:09.880
<v Speaker 1>for me? Oh? Ps. We broke up for six weeks

0:32:09.960 --> 0:32:12.400
<v Speaker 1>mid year. We got back together because I asked him

0:32:12.440 --> 0:32:14.160
<v Speaker 1>over when I was drunk, and we've been back to

0:32:14.240 --> 0:32:15.160
<v Speaker 1>normal ever since.

0:32:15.840 --> 0:32:19.040
<v Speaker 2>Please out the old drunk text. Come over. It'll get you.

0:32:19.320 --> 0:32:20.480
<v Speaker 1>It does get your gets everyone.

0:32:20.920 --> 0:32:22.040
<v Speaker 2>Look how old is she she is?

0:32:22.080 --> 0:32:23.200
<v Speaker 1>She's only twenty, she's twenty.

0:32:23.240 --> 0:32:26.480
<v Speaker 2>She's very young, Yes, very But I think when you're

0:32:26.520 --> 0:32:29.920
<v Speaker 2>young you sometimes don't appreciate how good you have it.

0:32:30.680 --> 0:32:33.680
<v Speaker 2>Like I think, I think back to twenty year old Matt,

0:32:34.080 --> 0:32:37.520
<v Speaker 2>and I was an idiot. But it's an idiot. I

0:32:37.520 --> 0:32:38.719
<v Speaker 2>had no idea what was going on.

0:32:39.280 --> 0:32:42.520
<v Speaker 1>Yes, but I don't know who you were with when

0:32:42.520 --> 0:32:44.600
<v Speaker 1>you were twenty. Maybe you had a good but imagine

0:32:44.600 --> 0:32:45.720
<v Speaker 1>if you were still with them now.

0:32:46.240 --> 0:32:49.000
<v Speaker 2>When I was younger, I knew that I wasn't in love.

0:32:49.200 --> 0:32:51.760
<v Speaker 2>But it sounds like she's got this guy who they

0:32:51.760 --> 0:32:54.240
<v Speaker 2>get along with really well. She adores him. He's amazing,

0:32:54.240 --> 0:32:57.280
<v Speaker 2>he's a great guy. So I think there is a

0:32:57.320 --> 0:33:00.520
<v Speaker 2>tendency when you're young to want to always try and

0:33:00.960 --> 0:33:04.000
<v Speaker 2>find someone better the grass is greener, Like I think

0:33:04.280 --> 0:33:07.360
<v Speaker 2>everyone's trying to find that perfect partner when I don't

0:33:07.360 --> 0:33:08.160
<v Speaker 2>think they exist.

0:33:08.240 --> 0:33:11.520
<v Speaker 1>All right, I controversially, I'm going to disagree with you,

0:33:12.600 --> 0:33:14.360
<v Speaker 1>not disagree with you, but I'm coming in with a

0:33:14.720 --> 0:33:16.880
<v Speaker 1>different opinion. I agree with you, Dad.

0:33:17.000 --> 0:33:19.560
<v Speaker 2>You could argue that having a different opinion is disagreeing.

0:33:20.080 --> 0:33:21.800
<v Speaker 1>No, because I agree with what you're saying to a

0:33:21.880 --> 0:33:24.280
<v Speaker 1>sense I do because I remember being like that. I

0:33:24.280 --> 0:33:26.640
<v Speaker 1>remember I was in a relationship for eight years from sixteen.

0:33:26.880 --> 0:33:29.320
<v Speaker 1>I remember hitting that age and having those feelings. Is

0:33:29.320 --> 0:33:31.000
<v Speaker 1>this it is this me the rest of my life?

0:33:31.400 --> 0:33:34.240
<v Speaker 1>Am I really never going to experience anyone else, any

0:33:34.240 --> 0:33:37.520
<v Speaker 1>other flirting, dating, one night stands? Am I just going

0:33:37.600 --> 0:33:39.400
<v Speaker 1>to be with this person? And he was amazing? But

0:33:39.560 --> 0:33:42.200
<v Speaker 1>I had those feelings. I did stay for a few

0:33:42.200 --> 0:33:45.719
<v Speaker 1>more years because I buried those feelings and thought, no,

0:33:45.800 --> 0:33:47.840
<v Speaker 1>I do have a great partner. I do adore him.

0:33:48.120 --> 0:33:50.920
<v Speaker 1>I will never find someone that loves me as much,

0:33:50.960 --> 0:33:56.480
<v Speaker 1>so I stayed. The thing is, you are only twenty.

0:33:56.600 --> 0:33:59.880
<v Speaker 1>You haven't probably had another serious relationship, and I don't

0:33:59.880 --> 0:34:03.080
<v Speaker 1>think within one year. So I had those thoughts after

0:34:03.120 --> 0:34:06.120
<v Speaker 1>four to five years. I don't think after one year

0:34:06.880 --> 0:34:08.920
<v Speaker 1>you should be having these doubts about your partner. I

0:34:08.920 --> 0:34:11.759
<v Speaker 1>think that's still like a honeymoon phase, especially when you're young.

0:34:11.760 --> 0:34:13.480
<v Speaker 1>I think you should be obsessed with your partner and

0:34:13.480 --> 0:34:14.920
<v Speaker 1>you still want to spend all your time with them.

0:34:15.239 --> 0:34:17.359
<v Speaker 1>They broke up after six months. They only got back

0:34:17.400 --> 0:34:21.560
<v Speaker 1>together because she booty called him. I reckon, if you

0:34:21.600 --> 0:34:24.360
<v Speaker 1>are actually having all these doubts, I think you probably

0:34:24.360 --> 0:34:26.239
<v Speaker 1>need to go and explore them. This isn't you having

0:34:26.239 --> 0:34:29.400
<v Speaker 1>doubts when you're thirty five, married with kids and you're like, eh,

0:34:29.440 --> 0:34:31.680
<v Speaker 1>this is like you're twenty years old. You've broken up

0:34:31.719 --> 0:34:35.120
<v Speaker 1>with him already. My advice would be, don't rush out

0:34:35.160 --> 0:34:38.000
<v Speaker 1>and end it, but really you need to sit within yourself.

0:34:38.360 --> 0:34:40.080
<v Speaker 1>You don't need to have the conversation with him yet.

0:34:40.080 --> 0:34:43.239
<v Speaker 1>You need to sit in yourself and say, why am

0:34:43.280 --> 0:34:44.040
<v Speaker 1>I having these doubts?

0:34:44.160 --> 0:34:44.560
<v Speaker 2>What is it?

0:34:44.600 --> 0:34:45.840
<v Speaker 1>Is it because I just want to have sex with

0:34:45.880 --> 0:34:48.279
<v Speaker 1>someone else, or is it because he and I fight

0:34:48.360 --> 0:34:50.680
<v Speaker 1>all the time? What is the reason that's pushing you

0:34:50.719 --> 0:34:51.360
<v Speaker 1>in that direction?

0:34:51.480 --> 0:34:54.719
<v Speaker 2>Okay, totally, because I think when she talks about saying

0:34:54.800 --> 0:34:57.640
<v Speaker 2>she wants to just be by herself, you know, is

0:34:57.640 --> 0:34:59.480
<v Speaker 2>that her saying that, well, I really just want to

0:34:59.680 --> 0:35:02.120
<v Speaker 2>know see other guys or is it a case of

0:35:02.520 --> 0:35:04.440
<v Speaker 2>I really want to go traveling and I can't go

0:35:04.520 --> 0:35:06.800
<v Speaker 2>traveling because I've got my partner. He doesn't want to travel,

0:35:06.800 --> 0:35:08.480
<v Speaker 2>so he's really holding me back from doing the things

0:35:08.520 --> 0:35:10.640
<v Speaker 2>that I really want to do. I think sometimes when

0:35:10.880 --> 0:35:14.960
<v Speaker 2>you're younger, you do see a relationship as being you know,

0:35:15.000 --> 0:35:16.120
<v Speaker 2>almost like the shackles.

0:35:16.400 --> 0:35:16.600
<v Speaker 1>You know.

0:35:16.680 --> 0:35:20.240
<v Speaker 2>It's like I think growing up in BONDI I remember summer,

0:35:20.360 --> 0:35:22.160
<v Speaker 2>everybody would be like, well, you don't want a relationship

0:35:22.160 --> 0:35:23.880
<v Speaker 2>for summer, because you know, that's when you want to

0:35:24.160 --> 0:35:25.400
<v Speaker 2>that's when you want to have fun.

0:35:25.560 --> 0:35:27.160
<v Speaker 1>The girls are like, oh, I'm so glad I get

0:35:27.200 --> 0:35:28.960
<v Speaker 1>to have a summer love. Guys are like, don't be

0:35:29.120 --> 0:35:31.600
<v Speaker 1>relationship because I want to fuck around.

0:35:31.640 --> 0:35:33.440
<v Speaker 2>And then it comes to winter and everyone's like, well,

0:35:33.600 --> 0:35:37.000
<v Speaker 2>got to find a partner now exactly shack up for winter. Look,

0:35:37.160 --> 0:35:40.440
<v Speaker 2>I think it totally depends on what her motivation is

0:35:40.480 --> 0:35:42.400
<v Speaker 2>for wanting to be single. Is it because she just

0:35:42.400 --> 0:35:46.040
<v Speaker 2>wants to be free and footloose, or is it because

0:35:46.600 --> 0:35:48.560
<v Speaker 2>he's really holding it back from doing things that are

0:35:48.560 --> 0:35:50.240
<v Speaker 2>going to allow her to grow as a person.

0:35:50.480 --> 0:35:53.239
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, one hundred percent. All I can really suggest you're

0:35:53.239 --> 0:35:55.560
<v Speaker 1>doing this is figure out the reason on your own.

0:35:55.680 --> 0:35:57.680
<v Speaker 1>Is it because you actually just want to go and

0:35:57.760 --> 0:36:01.960
<v Speaker 1>date and experience other people, or is it because you

0:36:02.000 --> 0:36:04.640
<v Speaker 1>just fight NonStop? He annoys you all day, You don't

0:36:04.640 --> 0:36:07.680
<v Speaker 1>agree with anything he says, and you're together just because

0:36:07.680 --> 0:36:09.479
<v Speaker 1>it felt like what you should do because you did

0:36:09.520 --> 0:36:11.719
<v Speaker 1>say that. You did say, ah, it felt like the

0:36:11.760 --> 0:36:14.640
<v Speaker 1>next thing we should do, Which is which brings me

0:36:14.680 --> 0:36:17.719
<v Speaker 1>to a point that I feel very passionate about society

0:36:17.760 --> 0:36:21.480
<v Speaker 1>putting this on this path of oh, this is what

0:36:21.520 --> 0:36:23.960
<v Speaker 1>I should do next. Society says, we've been seeing each

0:36:24.000 --> 0:36:26.520
<v Speaker 1>other six months, now, we better be in a relationship.

0:36:26.600 --> 0:36:29.040
<v Speaker 1>We've been together for four years now, we better get engaged.

0:36:29.320 --> 0:36:32.879
<v Speaker 1>And I think this is actually, ironically a really good

0:36:32.920 --> 0:36:34.960
<v Speaker 1>time in because this is the episode that Laura and

0:36:35.000 --> 0:36:36.640
<v Speaker 1>I are going to be talking about this week, and

0:36:36.680 --> 0:36:42.120
<v Speaker 1>that is society's pressures timelines why we feel the need

0:36:42.400 --> 0:36:45.200
<v Speaker 1>to do things a certain way because society says we

0:36:45.239 --> 0:36:47.040
<v Speaker 1>need to own the house by thirty, and society says

0:36:47.080 --> 0:36:48.360
<v Speaker 1>we need to be married, we need to be in

0:36:48.400 --> 0:36:51.040
<v Speaker 1>this relationship, we need to have a baby after we

0:36:51.040 --> 0:36:54.040
<v Speaker 1>get married. So I think that this girl's in this

0:36:54.160 --> 0:36:56.919
<v Speaker 1>place of feeling like, oh, well, I've been within six months.

0:36:57.440 --> 0:36:59.960
<v Speaker 1>I better just go and get on with this timeline.

0:37:00.320 --> 0:37:02.560
<v Speaker 2>I can. I ask you a question. When you were younger,

0:37:03.480 --> 0:37:05.400
<v Speaker 2>did you think that you were sometimes in love and

0:37:05.400 --> 0:37:07.000
<v Speaker 2>then in hindsight, you look back and you realize that

0:37:07.040 --> 0:37:08.080
<v Speaker 2>you weren't actually in love.

0:37:08.320 --> 0:37:11.840
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, absolutely all the time. But you don't

0:37:11.880 --> 0:37:15.120
<v Speaker 1>know that until you experienced another relationship, and then you're like,

0:37:15.560 --> 0:37:18.560
<v Speaker 1>this is how it should be. This is love, this

0:37:18.600 --> 0:37:20.480
<v Speaker 1>is how I should be treated. I think all these

0:37:20.480 --> 0:37:23.399
<v Speaker 1>things come with experience. It's like anything in life. How

0:37:23.440 --> 0:37:25.560
<v Speaker 1>do you know unless you've got anything to compare it to.

0:37:25.760 --> 0:37:27.719
<v Speaker 2>It's like when I fell in love with Laura, I

0:37:27.800 --> 0:37:31.799
<v Speaker 2>then thought to myself, all this this is what love is.

0:37:31.920 --> 0:37:33.960
<v Speaker 2>This is what I've been searching for for so long.

0:37:34.520 --> 0:37:35.600
<v Speaker 1>Bless your soul.

0:37:35.719 --> 0:37:38.080
<v Speaker 2>If only I had met Laura when I was a younger.

0:37:37.800 --> 0:37:40.080
<v Speaker 1>Guy, if you've met when you were younger, one hundred pcent,

0:37:40.120 --> 0:37:41.640
<v Speaker 1>you wouldn't be together now. You would have fucked it

0:37:41.920 --> 0:37:43.879
<v Speaker 1>and you had been too nice. Laura liked bad guys

0:37:43.880 --> 0:37:44.160
<v Speaker 1>with red.

0:37:46.400 --> 0:37:49.440
<v Speaker 2>I would have been too sweet, innocent and fragile to

0:37:49.760 --> 0:37:49.960
<v Speaker 2>be You.

0:37:50.080 --> 0:37:52.520
<v Speaker 1>Would have fucked your over in summer. Anyway, you just admitted.

0:37:52.200 --> 0:37:54.719
<v Speaker 2>That we offer. Laura and I often often asked the

0:37:54.800 --> 0:37:56.680
<v Speaker 2>question to each other, like, would we have fallen in

0:37:56.719 --> 0:37:58.040
<v Speaker 2>love if we met each other when we were in

0:37:58.040 --> 0:37:58.920
<v Speaker 2>our early twenties.

0:37:59.120 --> 0:38:04.359
<v Speaker 1>Well, Laura always tells me no, She goes await Matt,

0:38:04.400 --> 0:38:05.640
<v Speaker 1>and I never would have worked it by man in

0:38:05.680 --> 0:38:09.120
<v Speaker 1>before the bag. What does she tell you?

0:38:10.320 --> 0:38:13.560
<v Speaker 2>Oh my gosh, not as blunt as that.

0:38:14.800 --> 0:38:17.200
<v Speaker 1>Well, guys, that's it. Thanks so much for coming in

0:38:17.200 --> 0:38:19.239
<v Speaker 1>and feeling in for Laura. How do you feel that

0:38:19.280 --> 0:38:20.040
<v Speaker 1>when I.

0:38:21.000 --> 0:38:24.240
<v Speaker 2>Don't want to sound arrogant, but I think that was perfect.

0:38:24.520 --> 0:38:28.360
<v Speaker 2>I think, you know, I think Laura's Laura's a strong

0:38:28.480 --> 0:38:30.439
<v Speaker 2>nine maybe on a good day, nine out of a half

0:38:30.440 --> 0:38:32.520
<v Speaker 2>out of ten. And you know I think, and I'm

0:38:32.560 --> 0:38:34.799
<v Speaker 2>sure I'm not alone here that that was a ten

0:38:34.840 --> 0:38:35.640
<v Speaker 2>out of ten effort.

0:38:36.200 --> 0:38:36.480
<v Speaker 1>Guys.

0:38:36.480 --> 0:38:39.040
<v Speaker 2>I hope you was it as good for you as

0:38:39.040 --> 0:38:39.600
<v Speaker 2>it was for me.

0:38:40.320 --> 0:38:42.040
<v Speaker 1>I can't tell you that while Laura's here.

0:38:42.239 --> 0:38:46.520
<v Speaker 2>What one wing for yes, two wings for no? Oh?

0:38:46.000 --> 0:38:46.879
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? I enjoyed.

0:38:46.920 --> 0:38:49.759
<v Speaker 2>It was good fun. Thank you everyone for letting me

0:38:50.239 --> 0:38:51.480
<v Speaker 2>join you for one episode.

0:38:51.920 --> 0:38:52.359
<v Speaker 1>Dr Matt.

0:38:53.000 --> 0:38:55.040
<v Speaker 2>Laura will be back. It's only for one episode, so

0:38:55.120 --> 0:38:59.040
<v Speaker 2>don't panic. Also, can I can I just say if

0:38:59.080 --> 0:39:01.680
<v Speaker 2>you were a fan, maybe leave a review maybe in

0:39:01.680 --> 0:39:03.320
<v Speaker 2>the Facebook group pash my ego?

0:39:04.520 --> 0:39:06.279
<v Speaker 1>Are you talking about Live on cutz Facebook group?

0:39:06.880 --> 0:39:10.600
<v Speaker 2>Or hang on? That's what I thought, Laura said. Laura said,

0:39:10.600 --> 0:39:12.680
<v Speaker 2>I can give another plug in here, but I'm not

0:39:12.680 --> 0:39:14.480
<v Speaker 2>gonna take it. It's, you know, the fact that I

0:39:14.520 --> 0:39:17.640
<v Speaker 2>do another podcast called The babbyl You know, I could

0:39:17.680 --> 0:39:19.280
<v Speaker 2>promote it, but I'm not going to be that desperate.

0:39:19.320 --> 0:39:22.960
<v Speaker 2>You know, guys, every Thursday, every Monday, Britt. You can

0:39:23.000 --> 0:39:24.120
<v Speaker 2>listen to it if.

0:39:24.000 --> 0:39:24.799
<v Speaker 1>You want, Guys.

0:39:24.840 --> 0:39:27.840
<v Speaker 2>It's a great pop culture book cut podcast interviews with

0:39:27.960 --> 0:39:29.040
<v Speaker 2>some really amazing guests.

0:39:30.480 --> 0:39:33.680
<v Speaker 1>Guys, if you did love that and you do feel

0:39:33.680 --> 0:39:35.160
<v Speaker 1>like you want to give man a listen. He does

0:39:35.200 --> 0:39:37.239
<v Speaker 1>have his podcast The Babble. Here you go, mad, there's

0:39:37.280 --> 0:39:40.520
<v Speaker 1>your plus. I have been on it. Go listen to

0:39:40.600 --> 0:39:42.840
<v Speaker 1>that episode I did. I forgot for a minute I

0:39:42.840 --> 0:39:43.359
<v Speaker 1>had done it.

0:39:43.480 --> 0:39:46.560
<v Speaker 2>Can I just say that was our best rating episode ever, Britt.

0:39:46.560 --> 0:39:48.480
<v Speaker 1>Guys, thank you so much for listening. Don't forget. We've

0:39:48.480 --> 0:39:51.200
<v Speaker 1>got our Facebook discussion group. There are so many good

0:39:51.280 --> 0:39:53.160
<v Speaker 1>chats going on in there, so jump on in and

0:39:53.200 --> 0:39:56.600
<v Speaker 1>you can ask any questions you want in there. There's

0:39:56.640 --> 0:39:58.160
<v Speaker 1>absolutely no way we can get to all of your

0:39:58.239 --> 0:40:00.799
<v Speaker 1>questions on here. We do read them all physically, we

0:40:00.840 --> 0:40:03.160
<v Speaker 1>cannot answer them, so if you don't want to be anonymous,

0:40:03.520 --> 0:40:06.120
<v Speaker 1>throw them in the group. Everyone is so amazing at

0:40:06.160 --> 0:40:09.120
<v Speaker 1>supporting and giving their answers, and there are some guys

0:40:09.120 --> 0:40:10.920
<v Speaker 1>on there that give their opinions too. Matt, you need

0:40:10.960 --> 0:40:11.879
<v Speaker 1>to give your opinion more.

0:40:11.960 --> 0:40:15.120
<v Speaker 2>Oh, I will be there. I promise I'll stop being

0:40:15.120 --> 0:40:17.080
<v Speaker 2>anonymous and just reading them and not writing anything. I

0:40:17.120 --> 0:40:19.560
<v Speaker 2>will now respond to those questions in the Facebook group.

0:40:19.960 --> 0:40:24.040
<v Speaker 1>Okay, great, and guys, please, if you like this hit

0:40:24.080 --> 0:40:26.919
<v Speaker 1>five stars, subscribe and tell your mom, tell your dog,

0:40:26.960 --> 0:40:29.120
<v Speaker 1>tell your friends so you can't tell everyone, and share

0:40:29.120 --> 0:40:33.120
<v Speaker 1>the love because you love love. No, Matt, we practice it.

0:40:34.080 --> 0:40:41.000
<v Speaker 1>Share the love because we love love all right, mean me,

0:41:00.960 --> 0:41:02.320
<v Speaker 1>no go ba.