Speaker 1: Last wave of the feminist movement has been the most damaging,
Speaker 1: and that it has been a movement where like you said, Georgie,
Speaker 1: the pendulum has swung to the other side where it's
Speaker 1: now fuck men, and it's all this anger coming out,
Speaker 1: and it's just it's generational trauma. It's generational anger.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to the Rise and Conquered Podcast. I'm your host,
Speaker 2: Georgie Stevenson, former lawyer turned entrepreneur, social media personality and
Speaker 2: personal development junkie. This podcast is for my girl gang
Speaker 2: who want to feed their mind with positive and expansive
Speaker 2: thoughts to help them step into their power and live
Speaker 2: their most authentic life. We chat a variety of topics
Speaker 2: including mindset, business, relationships, health, and so much more. Basically,
Speaker 2: wherever you are on your journey, I want to help
Speaker 2: you you feel inspired and empowered to rise up and
Speaker 2: conquer your next bold move I know that's going to
Speaker 2: look different for everyone, but just no, I'm right here
Speaker 2: by your side and that you have the.
Speaker 3: RNC community behind you. Let's do this.
Speaker 2: Hello and welcome back to the Rise and Conquer Podcast. Guys,
Speaker 2: do I have a spicy ep for you today? We
Speaker 2: are joined by Monica Yates And this is actually Monica's
Speaker 2: second time on the podcast. You guys loved her first episode,
Speaker 2: so we are back for a part two because we
Speaker 2: really did not get the time to cover everything that.
Speaker 3: I wanted to with Monica.
Speaker 2: So if you don't know who Monica is, she is
Speaker 2: a life coach. She is a queen of sex, pleasure,
Speaker 2: fem masculine energy, men empowerment, business and life. She really
Speaker 2: is a jack of all trades and you'll totally get
Speaker 2: this vibe from the episode. But just her energy, her
Speaker 2: vibe is so it's like magnetic, and her knowledge of
Speaker 2: information and the way that she explains it is just
Speaker 2: it's on point. So I just am aw every time
Speaker 2: I listen to her. So today we are chatting about
Speaker 2: men empowerment and Monica's view on the feminine movement.
Speaker 3: Now bear with me.
Speaker 2: With this episode, guys. It is very different, and I'm
Speaker 2: going to be completely honest with you. I am someone
Speaker 2: who's very pro feminism and I'm very like, I feel like,
Speaker 2: for so long women were very suppressed and now we're
Speaker 2: in a time where we are being so unapologetic. We
Speaker 2: are doing our thing, and I absolutely love that. You know,
Speaker 2: female empowerment is my thing. It's what I really bring
Speaker 2: to this podcast. Monica is also about that. Do not
Speaker 2: get us wrong, but Monica brings a really interesting point
Speaker 2: to the podcast today about how this sort of time,
Speaker 2: right now, we are emasculating men as a society. She
Speaker 2: chats about how we can work towards empowering them to
Speaker 2: take leads so our relationships, sex lives, and overall pleasure
Speaker 2: in life are amplified. She has some really really interesting
Speaker 2: points and we kind of go back and forth. So
Speaker 2: this is like a really kind of I wouldn't call
Speaker 2: it debating, but a little bit, you know what I'm like. So, yeah,
Speaker 2: I just think it's a really insightful episode.
Speaker 1: It's new.
Speaker 2: I don't think you would have heard definitely not me
Speaker 2: talk about there's probably not other podcasts. So I was
Speaker 2: really excited to bring this to you guys, and I'm
Speaker 2: really interested to see what you guys think. So after
Speaker 2: this episode makes you come to the Facebook group, I'll
Speaker 2: make sure I post a thread and I am really
Speaker 2: interested to hear what you guys think, because I think
Speaker 2: at the start you might be like me. And then
Speaker 2: as Monica kind of explains, it is very interesting to
Speaker 2: see her point of view. So let's get straight into it.
Speaker 2: Let's welcome Monica to the show. Monica, welcome back to
Speaker 2: the Rise and Conquer Podcast.
Speaker 1: Thank you Georgie for having me again.
Speaker 3: I'm so excited to chat to you. Guys.
Speaker 2: We did a podcast. What was it, Maybe like a
Speaker 2: month ago?
Speaker 1: No, it was like, I think it was like two
Speaker 1: months ago. I was in too Loom. It was like
Speaker 1: maybe middle of February.
Speaker 2: Okay, so it was actually my doe have no concept
Speaker 2: of time, so it was a couple of months ago.
Speaker 2: I will make sure I link it in the show
Speaker 2: notes because it was epic. It got so many downloads,
Speaker 2: So many people loved that episode and they wanted more
Speaker 2: of Monicas.
Speaker 3: So I thought, let's do a bit of a.
Speaker 2: Round two because I actually we just chatted so much
Speaker 2: that I actually we had a whole other section of
Speaker 2: questions that I wanted to chat to Monica about, and
Speaker 2: we just didn't get time because it was already over
Speaker 2: an hour long.
Speaker 3: So that's what we're going to do today.
Speaker 2: So first of all, guys, if you don't know who
Speaker 2: Monica is, you're a bit confused. What's happening right now?
Speaker 2: Press the link in the show notes, go back to
Speaker 2: the first episode. Trust me when I say you're going
Speaker 2: to want to hear that episode and then come back
Speaker 2: here before we get into it. Monica, do you want
Speaker 2: to just give a quick recap of who you are
Speaker 2: and what you do?
Speaker 1: Okay, quick recap and I'll keep it towards centered, towards
Speaker 1: the topic for today's episode. So for today's episode, what
Speaker 1: I do is I am a trauma healer and I
Speaker 1: am a feminine embodiment coach, and I help women to
Speaker 1: understand men, and I help men feel empowered by helping
Speaker 1: women to understand how to stop the masculating men. So
Speaker 1: there's this whole dynamic kind of going on in the
Speaker 1: world where women are all trying to be like boss babe, misindependent,
Speaker 1: and at the same time they're like, where's all the
Speaker 1: good man next, y and there, And they don't understand
Speaker 1: that all the man shaming is actually stopping men feeling
Speaker 1: like they can really rise into their purpose and be
Speaker 1: in their divine masculine and as a result, it's creating
Speaker 1: what I was even talking about today on my Instagram
Speaker 1: story on Instagram Live. What people are saying is like
Speaker 1: soft men, like feminine men, and it's this weird cat
Speaker 1: twenty two of like women are wanting these strong, powerful
Speaker 1: men and then they're like, no, but we also want
Speaker 1: men to be emotional and like, don't be too over
Speaker 1: don't be too over dominating, x, Y and Z, and
Speaker 1: men are feeling really lost in society and they're like,
Speaker 1: we're not needed anymore. Women can do everything for ourselves,
Speaker 1: so what's our purpose? And if you understand men, you
Speaker 1: know that they need a purpose and if they don't
Speaker 1: have a purpose, then they're not going to be in
Speaker 1: that grounded, divine masculine leadership that makes the feminine feel
Speaker 1: so safe. So this honestly could be a ten hour
Speaker 1: long episode, so we're going to keep it short and sweet.
Speaker 1: But I do want to say to everybody before anyone
Speaker 1: jumps down my throat, it is a politically incorrect subject.
Speaker 1: It can be really triggering. I would really encourage you
Speaker 1: to go and listen to any of the other episodes
Speaker 1: of IGTVS that I've done about this topic, because if
Speaker 1: you're listening through the eyes of your or through the
Speaker 1: ears of your trauma, it can be very hard for
Speaker 1: you to have an open mind. So I would just
Speaker 1: suggest to you before you jump down my throat to
Speaker 1: just listen to on my other podcasts because it will
Speaker 1: help you to understand a very complicated topic.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so this is actually I really want to get
Speaker 2: into this, Monica, And I actually haven't told you this. Also, guys,
Speaker 2: me and Monica do coaching, so that's why we're very
Speaker 2: friendly and it's like we know each other very well
Speaker 2: because we have a lot of.
Speaker 3: Conversations off air.
Speaker 2: But I haven't told you this, Monica, But I remember
Speaker 2: like finding you, loving your podcasts and topics.
Speaker 3: But this was a topic.
Speaker 2: That triggered me that I didn't like that. I actually
Speaker 2: didn't watch or listen to any content because I just
Speaker 2: wouldn't have it. Because I come from a background where
Speaker 2: I had a very strong father father figure. I had,
Speaker 2: you know, very feminie mum who was a housewife, and
Speaker 2: I really wanted to step into the role of independent women.
Speaker 2: I didn't want to have to you know, I wanted
Speaker 2: to be the breadwinner. I wanted to be able to
Speaker 2: look after myself and all these things. And I really felt,
Speaker 2: I guess oppressed from men at a certain stage of
Speaker 2: my life. So I developed this kind of almost like
Speaker 2: protection of what you're saying of this woman who does
Speaker 2: it or who has it all, who doesn't need a man.
Speaker 2: And so when you started talking about this content, it
Speaker 2: was very triggering to me because I did feel like,
Speaker 2: you know, for so long men have had this you know,
Speaker 2: certain power, and I'm like, you know me, I'm like, girl,
Speaker 2: gang women, let's do the thing. I'm I'm a female
Speaker 2: empowerment person.
Speaker 3: That is like my brand, that's me.
Speaker 2: But that's why I think your content came to me
Speaker 2: because I'm such a big believer on you know, things
Speaker 2: that trigger you and things you need pop up when
Speaker 2: you need them. So it is something and I'm no
Speaker 2: pro and I haven't you know, done all the work,
Speaker 2: but it is something I wanted to bring up because
Speaker 2: I remember you talking about it and me going, this
Speaker 2: is such an interesting topic because it's almost like the
Speaker 2: pendulant has swung completely opposite way. We've gone from you know,
Speaker 2: women having rights. We've gone from being independent, working, being
Speaker 2: the bread winners, not you know, having sex toys, not
Speaker 2: needing men for those reasons, and then like you said,
Speaker 2: it's yeah, really swung the opposite way where we're kind
Speaker 2: of having Yeah, I guess this stuff happened and so
Speaker 2: I really wanted to bring this up because it's triggering
Speaker 2: for me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and Georgie, you are one of a large group
Speaker 1: of my clients and past clients as well that have
Speaker 1: hated me to begin with. Found me so triggering. Who
Speaker 1: the fuck is this bit? That I end up being like, Okay,
Speaker 1: there's some truth to what she's saying. I'm going to
Speaker 1: hire her now, And then they end up being my
Speaker 1: biggest fans because they're like, no, what she says is
Speaker 1: really truthful. And it worked and it changed my relationship.
Speaker 2: Because I think for me, like, I'm so used to
Speaker 2: following people who are full girl gang, who are like,
Speaker 2: let's fucking do it for the girls, and you are
Speaker 2: It's not like you're not that person. But I think
Speaker 2: for so long because like I said, I did feel
Speaker 2: so oppressed by men at a certain stage that I
Speaker 2: really reacted, and then that reaction has grown me into
Speaker 2: who I am. I feel a sense of like, not acknowledgment,
Speaker 2: but I feel this sense of I have to yeah,
Speaker 2: the girls, I have to back that movement movement because
Speaker 2: it has grown me into the person I am. But anyway,
Speaker 2: enough about me, let's get into it. So and I
Speaker 2: just want to preface this because I think this is
Speaker 2: something I didn't understand at the site at the start.
Speaker 2: Sorry is Monica is not. She's not talking about like,
Speaker 2: you know, equal rights or you know that sort of
Speaker 2: side of things. We're really talking about. Well, correct me
Speaker 2: if I'm wrong, Monica, but like you know, the genetic
Speaker 2: make cups of females and males, like biology world, yeah,
Speaker 2: and our energy.
Speaker 1: So to clarify what Georgie's saying, so, the first wave
Speaker 1: of the feminist movement was obviously really important, and that
Speaker 1: first wave wasn't a wave where it was like go women,
Speaker 1: fuck men. Women were fighting for their rights. They were
Speaker 1: fighting for the fact that they didn't have to be
Speaker 1: housewives all the time, that they were allowed to vote,
Speaker 1: they could go out into the world and they could work,
Speaker 1: they could do their own thing. That's what they were
Speaker 1: fighting for, which was amazing. There's been four waves of
Speaker 1: the feminist movement and the second wave of the me
Speaker 1: too and the last wave of the feminist movement has
Speaker 1: been the most damaging, and that it has been a
Speaker 1: movement where like you said, Georgie, the pendulum has swung
Speaker 1: to the other side where it's now fuck men and
Speaker 1: it's all this anger coming out, and it's just it's
Speaker 1: generational trauma. It's generational anger of this anger coming out,
Speaker 1: and it's if you really look deeply into it, which
Speaker 1: I won't go into, but I am going to go
Speaker 1: into in my book, which I don't know when the
Speaker 1: fuck's coming out, it's taking you've read a right point
Speaker 1: being is if you really really look, I keep look
Speaker 1: changing what I'm saying, and it's really hard classical when
Speaker 1: you really look into it. A lot of the wording
Speaker 1: with this modern feminism that's being run through social media
Speaker 1: is actually positioning women to feel like victims. It's like
Speaker 1: poor women, we have no rights, poor women like like,
Speaker 1: we have all these issues, and it's if you really
Speaker 1: look closely at it, it's actually a lot of victimization
Speaker 1: of women, which is that's how I felt, yeah, which
Speaker 1: is really damaging to these young women coming through because
Speaker 1: they're not being they're not being fed the story of like, girl,
Speaker 1: you have all the rights that you've you've never had
Speaker 1: this much power in history, fucking you do what you
Speaker 1: want to do. It's actually being fed we're being that
Speaker 1: story of like you're still oppressed and we're fucking not
Speaker 1: we are not like we live. And yes, in some
Speaker 1: countries you still are like which needs to be worked on.
Speaker 1: But if you're listening to this podcast, you're probably living
Speaker 1: in a first world country, and you're probably living in
Speaker 1: a country where you know you can dress however the
Speaker 1: fuck you want and nothing bad's gonna happen to you
Speaker 1: as a woman, which is fantastic, right, So for these
Speaker 1: kind of for these women living in these countries, we
Speaker 1: are not oppressed. And when we're being sold the story,
Speaker 1: which is it's being heavily sold through like social media
Speaker 1: influences and celebrities that don't fully understand this topic and
Speaker 1: they're just kind of being sheep to the noise it is.
Speaker 1: It is really damaging to young women coming through because
Speaker 1: they're not understanding men and women at a biological level.
Speaker 1: And that biological level, which what you were saying before, Georgie,
Speaker 1: is the fact that in our DNA, I don't give
Speaker 1: a fuck what your beliefs are, what your political beliefs are.
Speaker 1: In our DNA, men are the protectors and the providers
Speaker 1: and women are the ones, and we can still go
Speaker 1: out and make money. I'm not saying that. I mean,
Speaker 1: look at us, you both around our own businesses. But
Speaker 1: women are the nurturing ones, the caring ones, the ones
Speaker 1: that thrive with connection. Men's number one need is passion
Speaker 1: and purpose. Women's number one need is intimacy and connection.
Speaker 1: And when you work from that level, you see that
Speaker 1: we fit perfectly together. And women are all saying in
Speaker 1: society that men make them feel unsafe, but the reality
Speaker 1: is that these men, especially younger men coming through society,
Speaker 1: they're not being raised with these amazing, grounded masculine role models,
Speaker 1: and as a result, they're not embodied in their biological
Speaker 1: energy of being the protector and the provider in our society.
Speaker 1: And as a result of that, the feminine and women,
Speaker 1: the majority of us have a feminine call. Women as
Speaker 1: a result, can't feel as safe. So then women go
Speaker 1: into this hyper masculine, this armor like you were describing before,
Speaker 1: you go into this armor of like, well, I have
Speaker 1: to protect myself because I'm not safe around men. And
Speaker 1: as a result, we go and we hustle, we burn
Speaker 1: ourselves out. We're not happy deep down. And if you
Speaker 1: say to yourself, no, I am happy, I'm killing it
Speaker 1: at work, you are not happy deep down. I used
Speaker 1: to tell myself that and even like when I'm working
Speaker 1: really hard, I have to be so careful because it's
Speaker 1: so easy to go. I'm really happy. But let's cut
Speaker 1: to the chase. You will never be as happy as
Speaker 1: when you are surrounded by a group of your friends
Speaker 1: having so much fun and not having a care in
Speaker 1: the world, and there being men in the room that
Speaker 1: you trust. Where your biology knows if someone if a
Speaker 1: predator was to walk into the room, you would be
Speaker 1: safe and a man would stand in front of you
Speaker 1: to save your life. That is what creates safety for
Speaker 1: women on a biological level. And when we're missing.
Speaker 2: That key piece, yes, so yeah, explaining one hundred percent,
Speaker 2: So I get what you mean. I guess what's hard
Speaker 2: for me is and this says I'm going to be
Speaker 2: rebutting you this whole time.
Speaker 1: This is good. I was going to say, yeah, challenge me,
Speaker 1: because then I can explain it for people that don't
Speaker 1: get it. Yeah, perfect, R and C.
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Speaker 2: today's episode. So, I like, I do agree with you
Speaker 2: for example, though I do still think and I like,
Speaker 2: don't get me wrong.
Speaker 3: I love my family.
Speaker 2: I love my family, I love my parents. But for example,
Speaker 2: my I have three older brothers and they were raised,
Speaker 2: you know, by my mom and dad, and my dad
Speaker 2: is very much that protector, that father figure, that masculine energy.
Speaker 2: For me, I kind of look at my brothers and
Speaker 2: their relationships and it does feel like it is too
Speaker 2: swung the opsway of not we're talking about where it's
Speaker 2: too masculine and it feels not oppressive because I, you know,
Speaker 2: don't want to put that sort of out there. But
Speaker 2: I guess for me in my relationships in life, I
Speaker 2: get what you're saying, but how can we sort of
Speaker 2: And I think that's why in my personal relationship, I
Speaker 2: very much chose a partner who is not he's definitely masculine.
Speaker 2: He's definitely a protector, Like he very much fits that
Speaker 2: typical Trady role, which I find so sexy and so
Speaker 2: like fits my you know, that sort of side of things.
Speaker 2: But for me, his actual personality is not overbearing. It's
Speaker 2: not like, you know, I'm the bread women get So,
Speaker 2: I guess like to finish it in saying that, though,
Speaker 2: how can we sort of bring this new dynamic where
Speaker 2: we are equal but we're not emasculating men, but we're
Speaker 2: still able to because for me sometimes it feels like, oh,
Speaker 2: so should I not step in my power?
Speaker 3: Should I not be this boss bitch?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: How can I still feel pattern I said? Got you
Speaker 2: so with your brothers? With your brothers, do you feel
Speaker 2: like they are overbearing? Is that what you're saying to me?
Speaker 2: They're just very much typical male energy, And it's just
Speaker 2: for me personally, like I could never be in a
Speaker 2: relationship with someone like that because it would be too
Speaker 2: much for me.
Speaker 3: Does that make sense?
Speaker 1: Okay, so it does make sense. So this is where
Speaker 1: we're needing to be very clear in society and the
Speaker 1: messages that we're putting out on what we're trying to
Speaker 1: heal within the masculines. You know how this whole thing
Speaker 1: of like toxic masculine to get rid of toxic masculinity,
Speaker 1: there's no definition of what that is. And the only
Speaker 1: real solution quote unquote is to make men more feminine.
Speaker 1: But that's not what the best solution would be. So
Speaker 1: let's say, for example, that you're talking about men that
Speaker 1: are very overbearing and they feel too much. They could
Speaker 1: be expressing toxic masculine traits. And I hate that word
Speaker 1: toxic because it's not toxic. It's actually it's small wounded.
Speaker 1: It's just like a trauma response. But let's say, for.
Speaker 2: Example, that's yeah, that's okay.
Speaker 1: So for example, thing where.
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh no, some of the stuff they say
Speaker 2: to their wives, I would not fucking tolerate it.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, cool, So that's good clarification. So that's more
Speaker 1: of a wounded masculine thing, and that is because they
Speaker 1: have not been taught like grounded masculine quality. So a
Speaker 1: grounded masculine man would never feel too much for a
Speaker 1: woman's nervous system. So when your brothers feel too much,
Speaker 1: that's too much for your nervous system. A really grounded
Speaker 1: masculine man makes your nervous system go. It's like just
Speaker 1: so relaxing. That's what a really grounded masculine man is.
Speaker 1: So in society when we're talking about like get rid
Speaker 1: of all this toxic masculine, this mucho marcho macho culture, right,
Speaker 1: what we're talking about is this egotistical kind of man
Speaker 1: right where they're run by their ego. They're actually not
Speaker 1: heart scentered at all, and our feminine that is very
Speaker 1: off putting to us because it feels a little bit
Speaker 1: dangerous because they're not grounded in their body. So you're like,
Speaker 1: you don't feel as safe with them because you're like,
Speaker 1: do they know right from wrong? Because they're all in
Speaker 1: their head. For example, that can be the egotistical masculine
Speaker 1: that we're trying to get rid of. But it's not
Speaker 1: even necessarily the egotistical masculine. I want to correct myself.
Speaker 1: It's just egotistical behavior full stop. It's just a trauma response.
Speaker 1: And that can also show up in women. And how
Speaker 1: that can show up in women is women that are
Speaker 1: again very overbearing, very egotistical, very very vain, only care
Speaker 1: about people's appearances, that kind of stuff that would be
Speaker 1: an egotistical feminine kind of trait. So really we want
Speaker 1: to just say we just want to get rid of
Speaker 1: the egotistical stuff. Now in society, what's then happened is
Speaker 1: we're trying to suppress the masculine. All this' quote unquote
Speaker 1: toxy masculine, which is suppressing all masculine, all chivalry, all
Speaker 1: leadership for a lot of men. Women are still wanting
Speaker 1: it though, and men are feeling like they're being pushed
Speaker 1: into more of this, like, well, I have to now
Speaker 1: be really emotional and really feminine. There is a time
Speaker 1: and a place for that, I want to add, right,
Speaker 1: So there is there is a correct environment that you
Speaker 1: have to read as a man of when you can
Speaker 1: be softer and more emotional where it won't make your
Speaker 1: woman feel unsafe, And there is a time and a
Speaker 1: place where you don't want to do that because it
Speaker 1: will make your woman feel unsafe. Now, on your point
Speaker 1: of like you want to not emasculate men, but you
Speaker 1: also want to be in your power. There is a
Speaker 1: difference between you being in your power, Georgie, and you
Speaker 1: crushing someone else so that you can be in your power.
Speaker 1: So when you're in your power, it's like, I'm in
Speaker 1: my power and you can be in your power. The emasculation,
Speaker 1: all the crushing is I'm in my power and you're
Speaker 1: not allowed to be in your power when I'm in
Speaker 1: my power.
Speaker 2: Interesting, and I'm going to be completely honest, I do
Speaker 2: sometimes I think because of my you know, trauma and past,
Speaker 2: I do sometimes do that obviously not on.
Speaker 3: Purpose, but can you chat to us?
Speaker 2: So for example, what does what does the balance look like?
Speaker 3: What does it look.
Speaker 2: Like to be on your power to not emasculate you know,
Speaker 2: your male partner or your partner when they're in their
Speaker 2: masculine energy, Like, what does that balance look like?
Speaker 1: I love this, Okay, so let's like just do like
Speaker 1: even some examples, I feel like that's going to be
Speaker 1: the best way to kind of help the picture. So
Speaker 1: for me personally, as an example, I majority of the
Speaker 1: time make more money and I am obviously a powerful woman.
Speaker 1: I run my own business X, Y and Z. Now
Speaker 1: that is me at work, but the reality is I
Speaker 1: also have a side to myself and we all do
Speaker 1: as feminine women. You do as well, Georgie, where I
Speaker 1: want to be looked after. So at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, I don't want to still have to have
Speaker 1: my fucking boss hat on and be figuring out what
Speaker 1: I'm making for dinner, what's going on on the next day,
Speaker 1: and taking out the garbage. Fuck that shit, I'm done
Speaker 1: for the day. So at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: what that would look like is me dropping into the
Speaker 1: more of that softness and my man figuring out what
Speaker 1: the fuck we're doing for dinner and taking out the
Speaker 1: garbage and doing all that kind of stuff. Other examples
Speaker 1: can be that he might be like, hey, babe, let's
Speaker 1: go I've booked a restaurant for sushi tonight, Like, how
Speaker 1: does that sound to you? And if I was if
Speaker 1: I was really like, no, I don't want sushi, I
Speaker 1: want Italian, I would just be like, that's like I
Speaker 1: really appreciate babe, that you've made plans. Can we swap
Speaker 1: to Italian? I'm really craving that. That would be how
Speaker 1: you can answer it, because it's like, I'm still speaking
Speaker 1: my truth. I'm not gonna be a fucking doormat. We
Speaker 1: are not. I want to clarify that we are not
Speaker 1: talking about women being doormats. Here, speak your truth. It's
Speaker 1: just don't emasculate someone. So I read like the whole
Speaker 1: sushi date night. An emasculating way would to be, to
Speaker 1: be in a masculine way to say it would be,
Speaker 1: I don't want to go to sushi. When did I
Speaker 1: say I want to go to sushi? Like we didn't
Speaker 1: even ask.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's emasculating, so like, so subtle, but so different.
Speaker 1: So different. But the way that I was saying it previously,
Speaker 1: mind people was Babe, thank you so much for making
Speaker 1: a dinner plan. I'm so excited to do out on
Speaker 1: date night. I really am not feeling like sushi. Can
Speaker 1: we do Italian? I'd really love Italian tonight. That's how
Speaker 1: you would do. And he'd probably be like, yeah, fine,
Speaker 1: I'll call them right now, because he wants you to
Speaker 1: be happy. The thing is, and the reason why men
Speaker 1: will often like zip their mouths for so long when
Speaker 1: they're being emasculated, until it gets to a point where
Speaker 1: it's like I'm done, I can't do this anymore. The
Speaker 1: reason why they zip their mouths for so long is
Speaker 1: because they want to please us, and they when you
Speaker 1: shame a man, he internally is like, fuck, I'm not
Speaker 1: a man. I've done a shit job. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: And so they feel so bad about even the little
Speaker 1: tiniest things. They won't show it to you per se,
Speaker 1: but you have crushed them when you've said, why the
Speaker 1: fuck did you book sushi? I didn't ask for sushi.
Speaker 1: You crush them in that moment because they were just
Speaker 1: trying to make your life easier. Men want to make
Speaker 1: their lives easier, even little examples in my life is
Speaker 1: even the male friends, they all know that. I'm like,
Speaker 1: you got to do everything, not do everything, but majority
Speaker 1: of things. Even like if I want out for dinner,
Speaker 1: he will always book the restaurant. And there's it's not
Speaker 1: about a polarity thing. I'm not dating and we're like friends.
Speaker 1: He'll book the restaurant, he'll order the wine or whatever.
Speaker 1: He will arrive at the restaurant before I'm there because
Speaker 1: he knows that makes me really happy. He just knows that,
Speaker 1: and I allow him to do that. And he is
Speaker 1: happy because I allow him to do that. And that's
Speaker 1: what I want you guys to understand of just like
Speaker 1: we are happy when a man does something with it,
Speaker 1: you know, and like your boyfriend takes the garbage out
Speaker 1: with that you asking, or he plans date night and
Speaker 1: you're like Oh my god, this makes me so happy
Speaker 1: when you receive him from him doing that, that makes
Speaker 1: him so happy, right, And I think, yep, you go jodging.
Speaker 2: Sorry, Monica, I was just going to interject there and
Speaker 2: say that's something that we talk about a lot, is receiving,
Speaker 2: because it's something I struggle with because I'm such a doer.
Speaker 2: And it's funny because I noticed this in my relation
Speaker 2: relationship where Tim I think he had organized, yeah, like
Speaker 2: a date night and he's like, it's a surprise, like
Speaker 2: I've booked a restaurant, like he's trying to be really romantic.
Speaker 2: I fucking hate surprises and I'm a control freak. So
Speaker 2: I interjected and I'm like, tell me where it is.
Speaker 2: What if I don't like it? Like and very you
Speaker 2: can imagine like if you had just gone to the
Speaker 2: trust this yeah, and not trusting him. And it's funny
Speaker 2: because then he got his back up and he's like,
Speaker 2: you know, you never trust me, and it's like and
Speaker 2: then it causes this fight, and it's funny because we
Speaker 2: He ended up telling me the restaurant was perfect, it
Speaker 2: was the most amazing night, and I stood back and
Speaker 2: thought to myself, I need to sit in this receivership
Speaker 2: role where I do with yes literally, because I I
Speaker 2: think it's a it can be a struggle for us,
Speaker 2: especially if we are these badass women who are working,
Speaker 2: you know, in jobs we love. We're doing big things,
Speaker 2: we're making big moves. So I'm constantly in this masculine
Speaker 2: energy where I'm getting shit done.
Speaker 3: So it is hard for me to turn off.
Speaker 2: But what I've realized is when I can switch and
Speaker 2: I can be in this softer, more feminine, receiving energy.
Speaker 3: I literally get the best.
Speaker 2: Of both world because I'm in the power during the day,
Speaker 2: I'm doing the thing, I'm killing my goals. I'm allowed
Speaker 2: to be that person and like I chose him for
Speaker 2: a reason. He compliments me. He is someone who loves
Speaker 2: to look after me. Like he does all the house jobs,
Speaker 2: he washes up, he does the garbage, he does that,
Speaker 2: and he loves it. That's him, Yes, And so it's
Speaker 2: like I need to sit in that receivership role and
Speaker 2: it's and that's such a small little example, but you
Speaker 2: can imagine if me towards Tim have all these constant
Speaker 2: you know, emasculating and I don't realize I'm doing it.
Speaker 2: But if we have these constant emasculating things, he's going
Speaker 2: to stop trying.
Speaker 1: He's going to be like and that's the thing. So
Speaker 1: and this is the issue, Georgia. Yet so your example,
Speaker 1: that is a perfect example where your trauma response is
Speaker 1: to be a control freak because it makes you feel
Speaker 1: safer because especially and this used to be me as well.
Speaker 1: I've not but always been like this. I used to
Speaker 1: be for anyone that doesn't know, I used to be
Speaker 1: super masculine, fucking control freak, huge masculine armor. My dad
Speaker 1: was emotionally unavailable. So therefore I just like shut down.
Speaker 1: I was just like cold as fuck. And we go
Speaker 1: into the control freak because it makes us feel safer
Speaker 1: if we know what's going on, if we're in control,
Speaker 1: we get an illusion of safety, right, It's it's an illusion.
Speaker 1: And at the same time, yeah, what you did, like
Speaker 1: you said, is he got the message if she doesn't
Speaker 1: trust me, and that is that ruins a man because
Speaker 1: trust is everything. If you say these three words I
Speaker 1: trust you to a man, it's like he's dead. He's like,
Speaker 1: I'm done marrying me. How my baby is right? Those
Speaker 1: three words are magic to him. When when you trust
Speaker 1: him and when you respect them.
Speaker 2: Sorry, Monica, sorry to introduct again, but that's also like
Speaker 2: a huge thing. And I feel like this is almost
Speaker 2: just a fucking coaching session for me. But that's a
Speaker 2: huge huston in our relationship because I am the breadwinner
Speaker 2: because I am so when my masculine like Tim.
Speaker 3: It's like I've got to throw him a bone.
Speaker 2: I've got to you know, kind of meet him halfway,
Speaker 2: because otherwise you can imagine him being like, what's even
Speaker 2: the point of me in this relationship?
Speaker 1: Correct? You know at that point?
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly so.
Speaker 2: And that's like I said, like I think it's definitely
Speaker 2: at the start, it's like you want to be independent,
Speaker 2: you want to be in control, you want to have
Speaker 2: those feelings. But once you realize you can actually switch,
Speaker 2: and this is the biggest thing for me is once
Speaker 2: it clicked that it's like, oh, I can actually switch
Speaker 2: between these energies and have a very fulfilled, you know,
Speaker 2: life and day and feel really good. It's not like
Speaker 2: because I sit in receivership role with Tim in the
Speaker 2: afternoon with dinner, that I'm not this boss independent woman,
Speaker 2: Like we need to change that thinking.
Speaker 1: You get to be both one thousand million percent, and
Speaker 1: you can be a boss woman and you're not necessarily
Speaker 1: a masculine boss woman, like I make a lot more money.
Speaker 1: Like I said before, I'm similar to you Georgie that
Speaker 1: I'm working all day, but I do it for my
Speaker 1: feminine So people never think that I'm like some like
Speaker 1: psycho hustler boss woman because I don't portray that energy
Speaker 1: at all. And what you said before of like when
Speaker 1: you emasculate enough, they stop trying. That is the issue.
Speaker 1: So you go all these high flying ceo women that
Speaker 1: are like I just want a man that knows chivalry rrah.
Speaker 1: But the reason why men have stopped is because these women,
Speaker 1: and I used to be one of them. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying I'm perfect. I used to be one of them,
Speaker 1: would bash them down for so long they're like, I
Speaker 1: give up, Like you know the way that I show
Speaker 1: up now for men, I and you and people doing
Speaker 1: this work. We are now the one in a million
Speaker 1: of women. So when you're now encountering a man and
Speaker 1: you want him to lead, you actually have to like
Speaker 1: really make that clear to him because a lot of
Speaker 1: them won't know because they have been suppressed so much
Speaker 1: by women that they don't understand that they can be
Speaker 1: that forward with you and that you'll receive that. So
Speaker 1: you have to be careful that, like, if you bash
Speaker 1: a man down enough here, one thousand percent will start trying.
Speaker 1: And a lot of women complain about this of like
Speaker 1: we don't have date night anymore. I have to plan
Speaker 1: all the dates X, Y, and Z. And I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: that's not necessarily his fault. It's probably your fault. And
Speaker 1: that can be really triggering for women to be like, wait,
Speaker 1: it's my fault. And it's like yeah, because you're the women,
Speaker 1: are the ones putting them down, and then we need
Speaker 1: to empower them again.
Speaker 2: And that's what Tim Okay, sorry you go yeah, yeah, sorry.
Speaker 2: Tim's like, this is why you winged that we never
Speaker 2: have day nights or anything. And he's like, this is why.
Speaker 1: Tim needs to come.
Speaker 3: Literally, he would fucking love this conversation.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I've only got my monica my batteries on
Speaker 2: Lake Low, and I haven't got my Childet's at the warehouse.
Speaker 2: So the last sort of five minutes, can you kind
Speaker 2: of wrap up and just chat to the audience about
Speaker 2: And I also think this is a bigger conversation about
Speaker 2: feminine and masculine imbalances in yourself, in your partner. So
Speaker 2: give us just a little kind of wrap up. If
Speaker 2: you're feeling over masculine, you know, what should you do
Speaker 2: in your relationship? But maybe there is other people who
Speaker 2: they want their partner to be, you know, more masculine,
Speaker 2: to step in that role more like, how do they
Speaker 2: ask their partner? How do they talk to them about that?
Speaker 1: Okay, so both So yeah, there is so much to
Speaker 1: this argument and no argument conversation, and I do have
Speaker 1: a lot of resources. I would go over my stuff
Speaker 1: to check it out. So if you are feeling over masculine,
Speaker 1: a lot of women think, okay, I need to do
Speaker 1: more feminine things. No, no, no, because that doing give more
Speaker 1: feminine things is actually masculine. What you need to do
Speaker 1: is you need to take things off your plate. You
Speaker 1: need to slow down, you need to surrender more. You
Speaker 1: need to take away the masculine, not try and shove
Speaker 1: in the feminine things to be doing. Don'tru don't start
Speaker 1: trying to shove in bath nights. If that's actually like
Speaker 1: annoying and you're like, no, I just want to watch
Speaker 1: Netflix and chill, then take away things don't shove in
Speaker 1: feminine things to be doing. That would be a tip
Speaker 1: number one that I would give people that are feeling
Speaker 1: very masculine, and then just focus on letting go is
Speaker 1: what you really want to focus on when you're like
Speaker 1: in that hyper masculine. And I also want to say
Speaker 1: that for majority of women, they actually need to heal
Speaker 1: their relationship with the masculine within themselves and with men
Speaker 1: in order for them to surrender to the masculine. Because
Speaker 1: if you don't feel safe to let the masculine lead,
Speaker 1: you won't let the masculine lead and you will not
Speaker 1: be in your feminine. So a lot of the time,
Speaker 1: it's not about you needing to firstly go and be feminine.
Speaker 1: You need to firstly heal your relationship with men and
Speaker 1: the masculine and then do the femine stuff afterwards. And
Speaker 1: then in terms of speaking to your partner about this
Speaker 1: and getting him to lead, if you are like, yes,
Speaker 1: I actually can receive this and you're not kidding yourself,
Speaker 1: then I would say to your partner something like, maybe
Speaker 1: you need to start with apologizing, like babe, and I
Speaker 1: always say to people just blame it on the podcast, Babe,
Speaker 1: I listen to this podcast today. I've realized I've been
Speaker 1: emasculating you so much. I am so sorry, and I
Speaker 1: want to give you permission to call me out when
Speaker 1: i'm doing it again, because I need to relearn this
Speaker 1: because I don't know when I'm doing it, and I'm
Speaker 1: going to need you. I'm going to count on you
Speaker 1: to help to like wake me up to this stuff,
Speaker 1: like can you do that for me? He'll be like
Speaker 1: He'll probably be like fuck yeah, like thank fucking Jesus.
Speaker 1: And then the second thing that I'd be saying to
Speaker 1: get him to lead would be like, m that was
Speaker 1: a weird word. Um, not not what that word it
Speaker 1: was that I said. I would be saying something on
Speaker 1: the lines of honey, I love when you are in
Speaker 1: that provider role. When I come home and you've like
Speaker 1: planned a date night, You're telling me what to wear.
Speaker 1: You want to just ravish me, and you've like taken control.
Speaker 1: I know sometimes that I can maybe resist your control,
Speaker 1: but fuck, I just want you to know it is
Speaker 1: so sexy to me, and I really, I really want
Speaker 1: you to know that a lot of wanting you to
Speaker 1: know is changed out of my head. I really want
Speaker 1: you to know that I love when you lead and
Speaker 1: it makes me feel so looked after. So I am
Speaker 1: giving you full permission keyword, I am giving you permission
Speaker 1: to take the lead more in our relationship, to plan
Speaker 1: more dates, to boss me around in a sexy way,
Speaker 1: by the way, that kind of stuff. That is how
Speaker 1: I would say it. I am giving you permission to
Speaker 1: be doing more of X, Y and Z. You want
Speaker 1: to encourage, man, you don't want to say stop doing.
Speaker 1: You want to say that you like it when they
Speaker 1: do abenc So really focus on praising when he takes
Speaker 1: the lead, and it kind of brush away, not to
Speaker 1: a boutive extent, but brush away when he does stuff
Speaker 1: that you don't love. Focus on the things that he
Speaker 1: does that you do love. Ah.
Speaker 3: I love that.
Speaker 2: That was perfect and I was taking notes. Well, thank
Speaker 2: you so much, Monica. I am going to have to
Speaker 2: write up this interview before my bloody computer dies. But
Speaker 2: like Monica said, guys, she has so much information on this.
Speaker 2: It's definitely like, if this is a triggering episode for you,
Speaker 2: it means you need to deep dive and get into
Speaker 2: it a bit more because it might be something that
Speaker 2: really helps you. I know, for me, when I really
Speaker 2: step into my feminine outside of work. Is I'm so
Speaker 2: much more happy? Yeah, I'm so much more purposeful. And
Speaker 2: I have really been focusing on this, like receiving energy,
Speaker 2: especially you know with Tim and our relationship, and it's
Speaker 2: like I'm definitely noticing such a huge difference where our
Speaker 2: relationship is just a lot better and I can see
Speaker 2: he really feels like he really feels appreciated and he
Speaker 2: really feels like he's in his power, which you know
Speaker 2: you want that in your relationship. So yeah, definitely look
Speaker 2: into it. Thank you so much, Monica. I appreciate it.
Speaker 2: I'm sure we'll have you on the show again look
Speaker 2: about something else, but for for now, yeah, go check
Speaker 2: Monica out. I'll put all the links in the show notes.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you for listening
Speaker 2: for another RNC episode. I really appreciate taking the time
Speaker 2: to be here with me and also for taking the
Speaker 2: time for yourself. If you found this episode helpful, it
Speaker 2: would be so amazing if you shared it on your
Speaker 2: story ries and tagged us, or simply just send it
Speaker 2: on to a girlfriend or family member who would benefit
Speaker 2: from listening. We are an independent podcast run by me
Speaker 2: and my amazing podcast manager, so it would mean the
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Speaker 2: Apple podcast app. Also, if you're vibing this podcast and
Speaker 2: the concepts we're chatting about, and your craving community, please
Speaker 2: come and join us over at the RNC podcast community
Speaker 2: Facebook group. Just search Rise and Conquer podcast community on
Speaker 2: Facebook and I will be in there to chat to
Speaker 2: you until next time.