Speaker 1: I've been given a very important task on this weekend.
Speaker 1: It's my sister's wedding. This will come out and she
Speaker 1: will be married hopefully. Congratulations. Yes to Betty and Risey.
Speaker 1: I've been given a very special job. It is ceremony DJ.
Speaker 1: It's like four songs, but she's like, don't fuck it up.
Speaker 2: What's this song they're going to walk down the aisle to.
Speaker 1: I've just been sent it, so please give us a
Speaker 1: little taste. Groovy, baby, that's very groovy. This is walking
Speaker 1: back up the aisle. Ah love that us me.
Speaker 2: So are you mixing or are you just pressing playing stop?
Speaker 1: I'm going to do it all great DJs do and
Speaker 1: press playing stop.
Speaker 2: I don't know how many DJs listen to this podcast,
Speaker 2: but to those who do.
Speaker 1: Get a real job.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to who don't.
Speaker 1: I'm Mattie j and I and this is a podcast.
Speaker 1: Do you hear that? Weird? Like breath I just did?
Speaker 2: This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good,
Speaker 2: it is the bad.
Speaker 1: And if you've come, yeah.
Speaker 2: If you've come wanting any advice, I was going to say,
Speaker 2: not from us, not from us, not today, not ever, Ashton,
Speaker 2: we should start this off by having a little cheeky
Speaker 2: beverage be regino, what are we having?
Speaker 1: Where's that from? That's from TikTok. Remember in the days
Speaker 1: we were all locked down, we should have a be
Speaker 1: and what do you go there, big guy, I've got
Speaker 1: the Hinderland big pale ales knowing what Laura calls me,
Speaker 1: the big pale from Stonewood. It is a limited release, man,
Speaker 1: but I have some good news for you. Next year
Speaker 1: it will become part of the permanent fixture, their permanent range.
Speaker 2: Who enjoyed this, Laura? Laura Burn, Yeah, quite a few
Speaker 2: of these?
Speaker 1: You text me.
Speaker 2: After When we recorded our episode last week, I had
Speaker 2: a few too many big pale aisles. I was very
Speaker 2: sweary on the episode, very I listened to it back
Speaker 2: and every second word was like.
Speaker 1: Fucking this is not his.
Speaker 2: And I get a little bit slurry halfway through. So
Speaker 2: I'll limit myself to just one of these today.
Speaker 1: Well, cheers, I crack that and cheers cheers my friend, cheers,
Speaker 1: thank you. Now, Oh hang a second, can you taste
Speaker 1: that mandarin?
Speaker 2: Taste the pineapple, pine and herbs.
Speaker 1: Yeah, mandarin, I get a bit of mandarin.
Speaker 2: There you do you.
Speaker 1: Always pick up the Mandarin.
Speaker 2: You're like one of those pigs that sniffs out truffles,
Speaker 2: but instead of tuffles, it's mandarin. You how many Mandarins
Speaker 2: in this household right now? Have a guess?
Speaker 1: Sixteen?
Speaker 2: Very good?
Speaker 1: It's actually not pineapple, Matt, it's pine.
Speaker 2: No, fuck you, the back of the back, I can Oh.
Speaker 1: There's the Vic Secret Blend, and there's the eclips the
Speaker 1: Eclipse Smith version. Makes you know the Eclipse Smith version.
Speaker 2: And if you're wanting to get your hands on this
Speaker 2: beer or any delicious beer from Stone and Wood, heading
Speaker 2: to Dan Murphy's a bws around the country and jump
Speaker 2: on their website Stoneywood dot com dot au. That is
Speaker 2: all one word, and get it.
Speaker 1: Delivered to your very front porch. I will be doing
Speaker 1: that because I'm lazy, and honestly, I don't like talking
Speaker 1: to people in shops so much. Other things dropped off
Speaker 1: from on the line, just really really quickly.
Speaker 2: We are going to go into a big announcement, but
Speaker 2: talking about not liking big groups of people, I went
Speaker 2: for a run. It's just really quickly went for a
Speaker 2: run around Centennial because I was like, it's going to
Speaker 2: be late at night, nice and quiet, I didn't fucking
Speaker 2: realize there was like a fun run on. There was
Speaker 2: thousands of people there, and then I wanted All the
Speaker 2: exits were clogged up and it was a nightmare.
Speaker 1: The sexual predators would be.
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, Ash, we have a big announcement to make
Speaker 2: we do. This is a littit late.
Speaker 1: It is that I'm back.
Speaker 2: Also, in addition to that, yeah, because I do, it
Speaker 2: is Hey, it's nice to have you here.
Speaker 1: Thank you, good to see your face. I've honestly forgotten
Speaker 1: what it's like in Australia. I've been away for so long.
Speaker 2: I'm annoyed that you haven't called me boss yet.
Speaker 1: I had to refrain, but my inner monologue was Indonesian.
Speaker 1: For the first few days. I was bad. It still
Speaker 1: is ours now gone back to it slowly. I keep
Speaker 1: going to say sik swimmart to people, which is Balinese
Speaker 1: for thank you, not the traditional Indonesian which is tera. Mccussey.
Speaker 2: The amount of times you would attack people like me
Speaker 2: for going MESSI when they come back from Europe and
Speaker 2: then you're number one.
Speaker 1: You live in Europe, lived in London for four years,
Speaker 1: must be nice.
Speaker 2: But the big announcement, Ash, is the fact that we
Speaker 2: have cracked the triple figures. I know we are a
Speaker 2: little bit late. You missed our anniversary.
Speaker 1: I did. I did in true classic form, I think
Speaker 1: we both missed our anniversary. Classic man missing an anniversary day.
Speaker 2: So I had to recall with Laura and pretend it
Speaker 2: was you, which was weird.
Speaker 1: Awkward for the sex after it was.
Speaker 2: It was very awkward.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. Of course, what's this vagina thing?
Speaker 1: Calling her ashes? I'm climaxing, r wow.
Speaker 2: But we have come so far that, you know, the
Speaker 2: two of us, you and me, like, what a what A?
Speaker 1: What an achievement? Ash? She is an achievement. I'm achieved.
Speaker 1: I feel achieved. You look very achieving. Thank you. Who'd
Speaker 1: have thought she healed DM from Matthew John? Was it
Speaker 1: from you?
Speaker 2: Well? I went back into our DMS and I tried
Speaker 2: to go back to the start, and I was scrolling
Speaker 2: up and up and up and up and up, and
Speaker 2: I was like, it's taking a very long time. So
Speaker 2: I gave up on that.
Speaker 1: That's a sign of a good relationship. If you can't
Speaker 1: get to the top of the messages.
Speaker 2: What an achievement. But some people have said, hey, how
Speaker 2: did you and Ash come to be. What is the
Speaker 2: story that? Were you always best friends? Childhood friends? What happened?
Speaker 1: Well, it actually started with like all good relationships these days.
Speaker 1: I think you started liking my videos.
Speaker 2: First, I think that's incorrect. On TikTok, I think that
Speaker 2: is highly incorrect. And then we transitioned into Instagram.
Speaker 1: That you transition, you're doing all of the moves, you're making,
Speaker 1: all the moves you initiating here. I thought, I'm just like,
Speaker 1: take me, Matthew. Now. I thought your videos were clever.
Speaker 1: Not all of them.
Speaker 2: I thought maybe one in five were clever, and that
Speaker 2: was enough to like bait me in.
Speaker 1: You aligned to yourself, mate, I know what your standards are, like,
Speaker 1: I must be of high standard. I was thinking you
Speaker 1: to engage.
Speaker 2: I was thinking to myself, he's good, but he's got
Speaker 2: to have some kind of flaw.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't. So we got together. It was a
Speaker 1: Christmas party. Well, actually what happened was when you were
Speaker 1: trying to court me. I was telling my wife, I
Speaker 1: was like this, Mattie J.
Speaker 2: Johnson, guy, surely you must have heard the name spoken
Speaker 2: in media somewhere.
Speaker 1: I thought you were the weather man. I did do
Speaker 1: the weather time of Lyne. Yeah, but I actually thought
Speaker 1: you were Sam Mack. I'll take it for a long time.
Speaker 1: I'll take it. He's a very lovely guy. And she
Speaker 1: was like, you got to follow him back, you got
Speaker 1: to hit him back. And then I did. Of course,
Speaker 1: I didn't hesitate, pretend like April forced you into this.
Speaker 1: She kind did. And now we're here and she's like, come.
Speaker 2: On, like, meet up with him, go down that dark alleyway, be.
Speaker 1: Careful, make sure you wear a protection. Yeah, it was
Speaker 1: a Christmas party that you It was like a blind date.
Speaker 1: I got invited to a Christmas party. I didn't.
Speaker 2: It was look bear with me for a second because
Speaker 2: it was a very cringe Christmas party. It was for Facebook,
Speaker 2: Facebook Meta, We're doing Christmas party, and so I knew
Speaker 2: going into that party it was going to be a
Speaker 2: room filled with twenty year olds.
Speaker 1: Perfect, and I thought, stopping it, creep, Sorry, you keep
Speaker 1: setting me up of just knocking them down.
Speaker 2: And then I thought, I don't want to go by myself,
Speaker 2: and also I don't want to invite It's hard because
Speaker 2: you don't want to invite somebody who is like a
Speaker 2: builder into that environment.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they get a bit touchy because.
Speaker 2: They'll be like, what what is this?
Speaker 1: What is this hell hole?
Speaker 2: Who are these people?
Speaker 1: And as well, everyone lives on their phone. Everyone is
Speaker 1: just filming. It's a bunch of people on their phone. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it must all be a silent just go.
Speaker 2: And that's what it's like. So I brought you along
Speaker 2: because I was like, he'll get it. He's a man
Speaker 2: who gets content and he also loves a drink one
Speaker 2: in fire. Yeah you met at the pub before. We
Speaker 2: had like a pre pub drink before going to the party,
Speaker 2: and we should get back to that seat. We should
Speaker 2: go back to that seat. It was a great evening.
Speaker 2: All of a sudden, we're making videos together. People are
Speaker 2: loving it. People were like, ma, give us the dads,
Speaker 2: there's more of this, and I was like, this is
Speaker 2: this is something special, this is weird.
Speaker 1: And then yeah, the podcast was born out of those videos.
Speaker 1: Went they Matthew. Because I did have to convince you
Speaker 1: to do this podcast. Yeah I was convincing.
Speaker 2: I wasn't that keen. I wasn't that keen at first.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you've been burnt before.
Speaker 2: Do you know what sold me? Ash? You know what
Speaker 2: sold me? We did a little demo and I think
Speaker 2: Laura was in the room as I was playing it
Speaker 2: back in the living room on the couch and I
Speaker 2: was listening to it and she kind of is picked
Speaker 2: up and she.
Speaker 1: Goes, that's pretty funny. Is that is that ash?
Speaker 2: And I said, yeah, that's that's the demo record. It
Speaker 2: was like I imagine when a like a record label
Speaker 2: exec was playing like the Rolling Stones, like, well, he's
Speaker 2: too problematic these days.
Speaker 1: She's like, I think I think you got some there, kid, boy,
Speaker 1: I think he's got it. You want to be a star, kad.
Speaker 1: And here we are.
Speaker 2: One hundred episodes later, one hundred and one hundred and
Speaker 2: two episodes later, we did a call. We said how
Speaker 2: should we celebrate and people were like, give us.
Speaker 1: Free staff, definitely, yeah. And I was like, all right,
Speaker 1: so we've got something planned we do and we will
Speaker 1: let them know at the end. Yeah. Yeah, we won't
Speaker 1: let them know right now at the end of time. No,
Speaker 1: the end of this episode.
Speaker 2: End of this episode. We're just going to edge you
Speaker 2: guys along for this episode.
Speaker 1: Did you say it?
Speaker 2: We'll tell you at the very end, my favorite pastime,
Speaker 2: how you can win this incredible prize that we've managed
Speaker 2: to get our little dirty hands on.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, yes, I'm excited Ash you were back.
Speaker 1: You had a fucking six month holiday. Felt like that
Speaker 1: too long with my kids.
Speaker 2: Man, whose idea was it to take three and a
Speaker 2: half weeks? Who's that is that?
Speaker 1: April? Yeah? Her aim starts with A and ends with
Speaker 1: prol It's a long, long holiday. It's a long time
Speaker 1: to spend with your kids. It's a marathon, dude, It's
Speaker 1: a marathon. I was By the time I was at
Speaker 1: the end of it, I was just like, shut up.
Speaker 1: I think We're in the car on the way home
Speaker 1: from the airport at like ten o'clock at night, and
Speaker 1: I was like, don't eat my bottoms and I'm like,
Speaker 1: shut where's my water? That's enough out of you. I
Speaker 1: love you, daddy. Literally, I was like, look, we've done
Speaker 1: a lot of great talking today. That's enough. No, it was.
Speaker 1: It was good. You know, like a lot of kids, man,
Speaker 1: a lot of kids, but they've all got their own quirks.
Speaker 1: These kids and behaviors rub off on people. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to name and shame people because there wasn't that
Speaker 1: many people. If one person's like, well that's not us,
Speaker 1: that's probably the other people that.
Speaker 2: You know how many was there of you?
Speaker 1: It started with twelve parents, twelve kids for a week.
Speaker 1: Suck it was. It was a lot of fun. It
Speaker 1: was a lot of fun. Like when like it's like
Speaker 1: who many, dude, too many? Don't knock it too try it.
Speaker 1: And then we dwindled down because we all went to
Speaker 1: different places in Bali.
Speaker 2: You guys split up?
Speaker 1: We did. Yeah, yeah, We went to Nuslan Bonga, which
Speaker 1: was beautiful. Well that must be real nice. It was
Speaker 1: really nice. It was very nice in fact.
Speaker 2: Like Mussolin Bomba.
Speaker 1: Is that mainland?
Speaker 2: Or is that island?
Speaker 1: Where is that ash island? How do you get there?
Speaker 1: Like a thirty minute boat? Ah, speedboat?
Speaker 2: We have to take actually speedboat.
Speaker 1: I don't want a yacht that's too slow. And we
Speaker 1: went with friends of ours, Mikensana and their two kids,
Speaker 1: Ziggy and Lennox. Happy to name and shame them. He's
Speaker 1: a liability around drinks. Any drink, how old Ziggy three
Speaker 1: In a bit, someone says she's clumsy or drunk. Every
Speaker 1: day she knocked over a drink somewhere. First day we
Speaker 1: got there, I put a fresh beer down.
Speaker 2: But also that's on you, dude. It's like people who
Speaker 2: haven't been around kids putting anything near the end of
Speaker 2: a table in.
Speaker 1: The middle of the We tested it. I tested it
Speaker 1: with a bottle of water.
Speaker 2: How was she getting to the middle of the table.
Speaker 1: I put a bottle, a plastic bottle there, right, and
Speaker 1: then she was like on the and she's like just
Speaker 1: like knocked it over. We're at a restaurants crawling on
Speaker 1: a table. No, no, just hands over. And then we're
Speaker 1: at a restaurant and she's got a juice right, and
Speaker 1: she's drinking drinking it like that, like not touching it.
Speaker 1: And then she's just like goes to touch it. It's
Speaker 1: like and it got to the point that we were like,
Speaker 1: where is she going to spill the next drink? They're
Speaker 1: putting bets on it pretty much. And then it came
Speaker 1: to a head. When we were at it kept getting
Speaker 1: like worse, like the drink was bigger, or the drink
Speaker 1: was more expensive, it was a cocktail or something here
Speaker 1: or there. And then we were at this cafe and
Speaker 1: this poor waiter with a tray of ice coffees. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: and z he's like with her head knocks I think
Speaker 1: like eight ice coffees off smashes the glass everywhere, and
Speaker 1: she didn't even take any notice of it. She was like,
Speaker 1: we're this idiot. So it was a shit around. So
Speaker 1: she was the trip liability. She was like, okay, well,
Speaker 1: how many ice coffees are going to have to pay
Speaker 1: for on this trick because she just smashed them everywhere?
Speaker 1: There's always one my guy there is That was her quirk, Oscar.
Speaker 1: And when you do travel with kids, obviously it takes time.
Speaker 1: They don't understand. They've got to wait plane checking. It's
Speaker 1: always a line, customs, immigration, it's just line after then
Speaker 1: they're on a plane for six hours and then lines
Speaker 1: at the other end. They don't quite understand. So we
Speaker 1: you try and do anything to try and pass the time,
Speaker 1: especially when they're talking heats. You're like, why don't we
Speaker 1: play the silent game? And Oscar's very good at going.
Speaker 2: I like to play the game of who can hold
Speaker 2: their breath the longest.
Speaker 1: Well, that's where were that's where we're going with this. Okay,
Speaker 1: So we're in the back of a cab okay and
Speaker 1: it's like a fifteen to twenty minute drive. We've been
Speaker 1: at a beach club with the kids all afternoon. They're overtired,
Speaker 1: Oscar's like, how long is it going to be? Like
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, And I was like, why don't he
Speaker 1: played the silent game? Because I fucking had enough of
Speaker 1: you guys. And there was like four kids in the
Speaker 1: car and I'm in the middle seat. The kids are
Speaker 1: mainly in the back, and there was like one kid
Speaker 1: next to me, and I was like, we'll play the
Speaker 1: silent game. Who wins? And everyone went silent. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: work the street. And I look over and Oscar's holding
Speaker 1: his breath in the back of the car, and he
Speaker 1: doesn't realize that it's just a silent game. Not that
Speaker 1: you're not allowed to breathe game.
Speaker 2: But you do make a bit of noise with your breathing.
Speaker 1: So he was like, I look over and he's like
Speaker 1: and he's so competitive that he was like on the
Speaker 1: verge of passing out. I was like, breathe. He was like,
Speaker 1: I'm just like, bro, it was a silent game and
Speaker 1: you lost. So yeah, but he survived.
Speaker 2: Can I ask, looking back at the entire three months
Speaker 2: that you were away, what was the best part, what
Speaker 2: was the worst part.
Speaker 1: The worst part would have been the near broken back.
Speaker 1: I went over there with like a slightly sore back.
Speaker 1: Now it's completely fine. Yeah, And that was probably the worst.
Speaker 1: A couple of days after that where I was like fuck,
Speaker 1: should I go to the hospital, Like I was like, fuck,
Speaker 1: I think my back's broken. And then I was like
Speaker 1: it feels more bruisy now, and it was just like
Speaker 1: just once I got back in the water started surfing again,
Speaker 1: like three days later, I was like, yeah, I'm fine.
Speaker 1: I didn't get Bali belly, which is great.
Speaker 2: That's weird.
Speaker 1: I've this is that's three times in a row that
Speaker 1: I've been to Balley and not got Bally belly. Am I.
Speaker 1: My stomach was like, been back for a couple of days.
Speaker 1: They're big, fella, we can still get you. I think
Speaker 1: my fa was and this is going to be sweet.
Speaker 1: I'm not a very sweet guy, but I'm gonna be.
Speaker 1: My favorite part was I think the first day in
Speaker 1: New slam Bong and the tide had gone out. All
Speaker 1: three families that were still with went down and there
Speaker 1: was like all these little pools of water that the
Speaker 1: kids could look for crabs and look for in the
Speaker 1: reef and we sat down there in like that deep
Speaker 1: so foot deep. For those listening who can't see my hands,
Speaker 1: and we just I think we sat there for like
Speaker 1: five hours. And it was like out in the front
Speaker 1: of this restaurant too, so they were coming down and
Speaker 1: bringing food down, bringing drinks down. The kids were like,
Speaker 1: they're bringing ice creams down for the and we just
Speaker 1: all sat there and we had the UI boom going
Speaker 1: and there was no one else on this entire beach.
Speaker 1: There was a guy driving a big digger. I don't
Speaker 1: know what he was doing. I think he might have
Speaker 1: been practicing. I don't know. I had a shovel. That
Speaker 1: was great, and that was just like a really nice Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was a nice moment, to be honest.
Speaker 2: The dig apart was probably non essential. No, it's essential.
Speaker 2: So it was just us, our families and the diggers.
Speaker 1: Like love me literally, But you know, I could have
Speaker 1: easily said, you know, the nights out with the dads. Nah.
Speaker 1: I think that was like the when I look back
Speaker 1: and I go, that was the nicest start. That was beautiful,
Speaker 1: thank you, I'm a beautiful man. That was lovely, thank you.
Speaker 1: But yeah, it was good. It was good. I would
Speaker 1: highly recommend maybe not going with twelve twelve, But you know,
Speaker 1: we weren't in unison to do everything.
Speaker 2: We've got a Barley trip next year.
Speaker 1: Must be nice. Already when Britt's wedding, I'm going to
Speaker 1: get brit on the phone right now. Where is my invite?
Speaker 1: I don't even know she needs a DJ. I've just
Speaker 1: got four songs I can play. But yeah, good are
Speaker 1: you so you're going to take the whole family and
Speaker 1: do a trip?
Speaker 2: Leave the kids?
Speaker 1: Oh must be no, I've been the kids leaving me.
Speaker 1: Something else that came out of the trip is April's
Speaker 1: abdominal muscles. What do you mean? So there was a
Speaker 1: couple of photo April in a bikini.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't know. I wasn't looking. Yeah, posted on the
Speaker 2: interweb twenty first of October, roughly four pianos. You guys
Speaker 2: were on the beach purple perker. No, I didn't notice,
Speaker 2: I explain, that's rude. You should have noticed.
Speaker 1: I did notice. Yeah. So there was a photo of
Speaker 1: April and I a potato head in particular. That was
Speaker 1: a suggestion from someone on the Facebook group said go
Speaker 1: to potato head tat kids. Gonna be honest, not great
Speaker 1: for the kids, but it's balley, so that we we
Speaker 1: still had fun.
Speaker 2: Potato heads good for the kids.
Speaker 1: Just very it was just very busy.
Speaker 2: There's a kid's pool there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it was like cold and shit, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: but we went in the adults pool. We peed in
Speaker 1: the adils pools. Grape, I peed in the app.
Speaker 2: Yes, thank you, fucking everyone going out.
Speaker 1: I'm at it now. I'm a dad. I do not care.
Speaker 1: I think there's a time when you're not allowed to
Speaker 1: pee in the pool. It's between being eighteen and having kids.
Speaker 1: I think that time. It's like found you've got time, bro.
Speaker 1: If I get out to go to the talk, then
Speaker 1: I've got Macy get out. She wants to take up
Speaker 1: swimmers off.
Speaker 2: Dude, I'm like a month away from shitting in the
Speaker 2: pool now, I'm like, I'm relaxing.
Speaker 1: No one understand me. I reminds me, you should never
Speaker 1: go in the pool with you. Yeah, so potato heads,
Speaker 1: thank you for the suggestion. I don't know who it was,
Speaker 1: say Hallie, She's like yes. And we posted a really
Speaker 1: nice photo. It was really nice sunset photo.
Speaker 2: It was a real nice photo.
Speaker 1: It was a nice photo. And then I got an
Speaker 1: influx of direct messages. I sent three or for those
Speaker 1: who are a bit younger than us, DMS people saying,
Speaker 1: are we going to talk about your wife's abs. I've
Speaker 1: given her a big head because I told her I
Speaker 1: shouldn't have. So for the rest of the trip, was
Speaker 1: she just flexing? Yeah, she was like anytime, Like anyone
Speaker 1: was like hey, ay, She's like, it's a lifestyle.
Speaker 2: Just curling at the dinner's table.
Speaker 1: And she's like, do you even lift? Bro?
Speaker 2: She is and I mean this in the most respectable
Speaker 2: way possible.
Speaker 1: She's very fit. She is. She does work very hard,
Speaker 1: like she Macy's three now, and she's very high on routine.
Speaker 1: April like, she's so routine, Like every morning at five
Speaker 1: o'clock she's off to the gym. She loves it, loves it.
Speaker 1: She did a couple of sessions over there, but.
Speaker 2: We like, get back in there. I can do those
Speaker 2: ways now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm I'm sucking off eating the ice cream on
Speaker 1: the beach, yes, because I am. And uh yeah, so
Speaker 1: she she eats very well. She's a what can I
Speaker 1: say anything that would being a joke. It's not a joke.
Speaker 1: It's serious. It's a lot of style. Once she yelled
Speaker 1: at me because there wasn't enough protein in the dinner.
Speaker 2: I mate is she a pilarates girls Flatty's girl. No,
Speaker 2: she's just hitting the weights. She comes in and out
Speaker 2: of pilates every now and then. So Sarna who we went,
Speaker 2: she's a pilates instructle.
Speaker 1: How she getting so shredded? She just trains hard, bro
Speaker 1: and like I said, protein, it's a lifestyle.
Speaker 2: I call her right now and I would have had
Speaker 2: like weekly splitters. Hi, Hi, April, random question, how are
Speaker 2: you splitting up your routine at the gym?
Speaker 1: I do a lot of lower body and then I
Speaker 1: do boxing as my upper body. That's about it.
Speaker 2: That's it.
Speaker 1: How many times a day are you doing abs? ABS?
Speaker 1: Are building the kitchen? Babes there? It is all right
Speaker 1: by Apri, love you oh in the kitchen.
Speaker 2: If there's anything you take from this episode, that's the
Speaker 2: key take.
Speaker 1: I don't know what the recipe for ABS is because
Speaker 1: it's not working for me.
Speaker 2: It's definitely not happy.
Speaker 1: I spend so much time in the kitchen and it's
Speaker 1: not working. That's enough about me and my wife's abs.
Speaker 1: You also have ABS, and you also went on holidays.
Speaker 2: I'm essentially your wife. I could be you.
Speaker 1: Could be on your tucky sack back. I'm game.
Speaker 2: I took a leaf out of your page. Is that
Speaker 2: the right thing? A page?
Speaker 1: I took a page out of you. I took a
Speaker 1: book out of your page.
Speaker 2: A page out of your book. I'm so bad with
Speaker 2: saying sorry apologies. I was I was missed you. I
Speaker 2: was struggling, and I thought, what would ASH do in
Speaker 2: this moment? I know, I'll take a holiday.
Speaker 1: That's exactly what I would do.
Speaker 2: And it was kind of similar in that I didn't
Speaker 2: go away with twelve families. I went away with two
Speaker 2: other families. And this is one of the families that
Speaker 2: I met. I don't know if I told you this story.
Speaker 2: I try not to tell you the story too much
Speaker 2: because I know it may make you a little bit jealous.
Speaker 1: Nothing makes me jealous. That's a lie.
Speaker 2: Okay, I met this couple at the park. I would
Speaker 2: like to say over a year and a half ago.
Speaker 1: Melonenso yeah, I love Melonenzo very good memory. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: me and Enzo cash up too. What? Yeah? Do you
Speaker 1: know that I'm actually seeing you out for this? No
Speaker 1: you're not. Yeah, No, I made that up. But Enzo,
Speaker 1: if you're free, So we were.
Speaker 2: We progressed the relationship from just you know, a bump
Speaker 2: into the park every now and then to then having
Speaker 2: playdates with the kids, doing in the park, just just
Speaker 2: bumping into each other, you know.
Speaker 1: It was like night or a Friday, but just bump
Speaker 1: in general and maybody there.
Speaker 2: But we would have playdates. We will go to each
Speaker 2: other's birthday parties because they have two young kids. We
Speaker 2: have two young kids, similar ages. Everything was going great
Speaker 2: and then we decided to take the relationship to the
Speaker 2: next level. Well, let's book a holiday.
Speaker 1: Can I ask you a question?
Speaker 2: Absolutely, you can ask me.
Speaker 1: You recently went on holidays with April and I as well?
Speaker 1: Which holiday was better? Don't you dare?
Speaker 2: Don't you dare?
Speaker 1: Ash? Well, I dare?
Speaker 2: Both forgot. I couldn't compare.
Speaker 1: It was like, answer, it was you, it was ours,
Speaker 1: Just say it.
Speaker 2: It was yours.
Speaker 1: Course, you know what, I'm going to go on holiday?
Speaker 1: Then don't mel and then I'll compare the pair.
Speaker 2: Please, And we're like, what the fuck is going on?
Speaker 1: Why are you here? Why are you in my house? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm on holidays.
Speaker 2: We had another family Eddie and Nick came along as well.
Speaker 1: Shout out to them, where are they from?
Speaker 2: Glad you asked?
Speaker 1: Backstory, give me all of them from.
Speaker 2: Brisbane, once from Melbourne. Originally lived in Sydney, but you
Speaker 2: still live down the road from us. We would often
Speaker 2: see them walking down to the beach. We've all come
Speaker 2: so far, we have the relationships, the podcast episodes. Everyone's
Speaker 2: just ticking boxes right now. It's a time to celebrate.
Speaker 1: It is. Hey, where'd you go?
Speaker 2: I'm glad you asked.
Speaker 1: I flew back from Bali early and I just hidden
Speaker 1: the bushes and I was like, my Matthew.
Speaker 2: With someone else right now. Great holiday, great little weekend
Speaker 2: get away. Kingscliff near the Gold Coast. It's in between
Speaker 2: Byron Bay and the Gold Coast and it's.
Speaker 1: Just it's a lovely old stomping ground.
Speaker 2: But it was lovely bit.
Speaker 1: Similar to yourself.
Speaker 2: But it was only three nights that were away, where
Speaker 2: like your patients was wearing very thin. I remember one
Speaker 2: day in particular, I was like, we're going down the
Speaker 2: beach and Marley's like, I'm bringing my pencils and my
Speaker 2: coloring in and I'm like, you're not not bringing in
Speaker 2: your coloring pencils and pens.
Speaker 3: That's ridiculous. And she's five years old and she's like
Speaker 3: I am, And I was like you're not. And Laura
Speaker 3: was down the hallway. She went to go get some
Speaker 3: fresh towels. She came back in after like, oh fuck off.
Speaker 3: She just came back in and she's like, I could
Speaker 3: hear that.
Speaker 2: From the hallway.
Speaker 1: Oh that's embarrassing. Yeah, it's fine, Dad voice activated got
Speaker 1: to happen.
Speaker 2: But on one day, Ash and one day we went
Speaker 2: to a place called Tropical Fruit World.
Speaker 1: I'm familiar.
Speaker 2: The most fertile soil in the world. Is great for kids,
Speaker 2: is it? It's essentially just like a big, an enormous paddock.
Speaker 2: You jump on a tractor. It's like a train. You
Speaker 2: then all hop on the tractor. You go around. They
Speaker 2: talk about all the fruit that they've planted there over
Speaker 2: the last few decades. You then stop, you pick the fruit,
Speaker 2: You crack macadamia nats, you eat bananas. Everyone's having a
Speaker 2: really wholesome, great time.
Speaker 1: That's great, Okay, I like it.
Speaker 2: But then you finish Ash at a part of the
Speaker 2: tour where you just sit down and you feed.
Speaker 1: The animals and give me an array of animals.
Speaker 2: You've got goats, you got donkeys, you've got koalas. Have
Speaker 2: I made a mistake? Is this allowed? Or not laid
Speaker 2: on me go and maybe it's a Queensland thing. I'm
Speaker 2: not quite sure, but it was the end of the
Speaker 2: tour essentially finishes at a park playground, and everyone's just
Speaker 2: everyone's feeling so great. Everyone's smiling, everyone's had a good time.
Speaker 1: We're all full of fruit, sugar.
Speaker 2: We've all been padding the animals, you know, and you've
Speaker 2: been in that group on the tour from start to finish.
Speaker 2: It runs for a few hours, so you're also you're
Speaker 2: feeling connected to the other people you're on the land.
Speaker 2: You know, it's just you're feeling wholesome.
Speaker 1: And also featuring you being connected to all the other people.
Speaker 1: Everyone's like, what's this girl's do.
Speaker 2: Also you're seeing other wild animals as well on the tour, like,
Speaker 2: you know, we saw some turtles, all right, we saw
Speaker 2: like bush turkeys, we saw a snake. You just like
Speaker 2: it was a small board of native animals. Delicious, beautiful, okay.
Speaker 2: And then some people were like, look it's a frog
Speaker 2: and I was like, that's no frog, that's a cane toad.
Speaker 2: Coming from Queensland, a cane toad is like a cockroach.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's more cane toads than people in Queensland. You
Speaker 1: just you kill it. Oh yeah, and you kill it
Speaker 1: the most dramatic way you can.
Speaker 2: So whilst a few people mostly are kids and Melonenzo
Speaker 2: and Ed and Nicky's kids, they were all like looking
Speaker 2: at a frog. They don't know what a cane toad is.
Speaker 1: I now know. They were like, wow, look at this
Speaker 1: cane toad. And I come steamrolling in and I'm a
Speaker 1: good old world.
Speaker 2: Combo, throw my guitar, jump up from the campfire and
Speaker 2: I boot this thing so fucking hard. This cane toad is.
Speaker 1: Like and I was like totally like two points. All
Speaker 1: the flags go up. It's like, if you're allowed to
Speaker 1: do that, you have to do that. You're a pest.
Speaker 2: As a Queenslander, your instinct to see a cane toad
Speaker 2: is just immediately.
Speaker 1: Kill it because they're introduced as well. They're a pest.
Speaker 1: Bro they're an introduced species. What were they cane to say?
Speaker 1: The cane fields eat the cane beetles, hence the name
Speaker 1: cane toad.
Speaker 2: There we go.
Speaker 1: That takes me back to my childhood. You're kicking that frog.
Speaker 1: I'm just having flashbacks. Thank you of kicking the shit
Speaker 1: out of fucking cane toad.
Speaker 2: So then did I look. I turn around and the
Speaker 2: kids were all like, f that's Molly who's so sensitive.
Speaker 2: Was just like, mom, I can't stop thinking about death,
Speaker 2: and all the kids are hysterical, and I was like,
Speaker 2: have you ever done something where you know, you turn
Speaker 2: around and you expect nothing but praise, like what a hero?
Speaker 2: And everyone's just like what's wrong with you? And Lauda
Speaker 2: was like, you're such an idiot sometimes, and I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm just I'm just a man, That's that's what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's like, if you haven't grown up around doing that,
Speaker 1: it's a bit fucking weekshit Melanenzo. They're from the UK,
Speaker 1: so they don't understand, like they don't know what even
Speaker 1: animals in the UK do they There's none, there's none left.
Speaker 1: There's no kitchens. That's it. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And then as well, and then like some of the
Speaker 2: other families, they were like hiding their kids like oh
Speaker 2: my god, like.
Speaker 1: Timmy look away. Yeah, It's like, yeah, I think you've
Speaker 1: done the right thing. I'm got a backyard. I would
Speaker 1: be going, I just kick it again.
Speaker 2: Laura was like, you're about to get kicked off the
Speaker 2: tour as well, like the ranger was looking at me
Speaker 2: a bit funny, and I was like, no, he's not.
Speaker 1: He's cool anyway, he's like good kicks on.
Speaker 2: No one gave me any praise except for Eddie. Eddie
Speaker 2: was like, I've killed a few.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like when I was because they were they
Speaker 1: made their way south down the border obviously because you
Speaker 1: won't in Queens, and they made their way down and
Speaker 1: there's so much push land and stuff. A couple of things, right.
Speaker 1: They're good for one thing going Like a poisonous snake
Speaker 1: is around and eats one, it'll kill the snake. It'll
Speaker 1: also kill your dog if a dog eats it. And
Speaker 1: they're so hard to kill, like I have literally squashed
Speaker 1: one of its guts out of its mouth once and
Speaker 1: it splait it out of the road. And they do that.
Speaker 2: They do that on purpose. It's a self defense, said,
Speaker 2: and I walked away like and then he just swallows
Speaker 2: the guts and it like hops away. So when I
Speaker 2: kicked it, it's guts where out, and they're like it's
Speaker 2: dead and I was like, it's not even dead. You
Speaker 2: need to kick it like three more times.
Speaker 1: Let me do it. You just stomp on it.
Speaker 2: And the next thing it sucks the guts back in
Speaker 2: and hop away because it's back is all past. And
Speaker 2: the cane toad was like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, literally sucked in. Fucker, I've survived, survived worse than you, Bro.
Speaker 1: You kick like my nana the way I ash.
Speaker 2: We've been edging the listeners this whole episode. Yes we have,
Speaker 2: and if you're ready to climbax. We've talked a lot
Speaker 2: about holidays.
Speaker 1: We are who bring the horn in here. We have
Speaker 1: a getaway. Get away. We have a giveaway. We have
Speaker 1: to get away. The cane toads are after us.
Speaker 2: We have a great prize that you, the listener, you
Speaker 2: can win and enjoy a holiday like Ashes just had,
Speaker 2: like I've just had, and maybe a bit more responsible
Speaker 2: than us. I don't think where you're about to go.
Speaker 2: There are no cane toads.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 2: But in celebration of us hitting one hundred episodes were
Speaker 2: now like one hundred and two, we are giving away.
Speaker 2: We're giving away one lucky family a three nights day
Speaker 2: at the Sunday's Boutique Hotel on Humilton Island, ASH. It
Speaker 2: is just about to open up. It's going to be
Speaker 2: ready for next early next year. They're currently building it
Speaker 2: to it's brand spanking. You may be one of the
Speaker 2: first families to stay there.
Speaker 1: How did we get that? How do we manage that?
Speaker 2: You're looking at so much?
Speaker 1: I don't know about this show, okay, so what I
Speaker 1: do know though? It includes breakfast, a five hundred dollars
Speaker 1: dining credit. I'm taking this a yacht cruise to white
Speaker 1: Haven Beat. Have you been to white Haven Beat? Many times?
Speaker 2: My friend?
Speaker 1: Beautiful must be nice worth seven thousand, six hundred and
Speaker 1: twenty dollars. The price is right in beautiful.
Speaker 2: Have you been t Hamilton Island before?
Speaker 1: I've been a couple of times. Nice with and without kids.
Speaker 2: It's bloody great.
Speaker 1: It is good. It's a great place for kids. It's
Speaker 1: a great place.
Speaker 2: And we're going to throw on one thousand dollars to
Speaker 2: make sure you're in the family can get there, however, way.
Speaker 1: Boat, you walk, speed boat, save the money. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: a great price. So they could use the thousand dollars
Speaker 1: on flights.
Speaker 2: We'll just give it to them.
Speaker 1: Give it to them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you want, you can. You can swim there.
Speaker 1: If you've already got flight credit, you could use that
Speaker 1: as spending money paid.
Speaker 2: That's that's cocktails, that's cocktail spending money.
Speaker 1: So as a family of four, so if you've got five,
Speaker 1: the fifth one the time. Yeah, so two adults, two kids, Okay, cool, okay.
Speaker 2: And the way that you can win okay, Well, we're
Speaker 2: asking you to do if you have a video that
Speaker 2: shows us that you deserve a holiday because of your kids,
Speaker 2: you need to post that on social media on Stories,
Speaker 2: tag us at two doting dads with the hashtag Hammo escape.
Speaker 1: H A mmo escape. So I'm thinking like, if your.
Speaker 2: Kid has gone in and drawn all over your bedroom
Speaker 2: walls with pen, have that on camera, send it to usliday.
Speaker 2: If your child has eaten your lipstick is covered in
Speaker 2: the head to so send it to us.
Speaker 1: You deserve a holiday.
Speaker 2: You deserve a holiday. Those are the type of nightmare
Speaker 2: scenarios that we would like to see. We will post
Speaker 2: some of those videos to show what kind of disasters
Speaker 2: were really after and.
Speaker 1: When will we announce the winner?
Speaker 2: Matt, So we'll let this run for a week and
Speaker 2: then we'll announce the winner and about seven days from now.
Speaker 1: All right, get in there, let's go.
Speaker 2: All right, if you're enjoyed this episode, please send it
Speaker 2: to a friends subscribe.
Speaker 1: What you should do is you should jump onto the
Speaker 1: Facebook group and go to two Doting Dads, or you
Speaker 1: can join us on Instagram at two Doting Dads. I
Speaker 1: think that's it. Let's go, let's get out of here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's go. Let's see guys, all right, budes.
Speaker 2: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
Speaker 2: throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Straight
Speaker 1: Islander people's today. This episode was recorded on Gadagle Land