WEBVTT - Ask Uncut- The Mindful Orgasm

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<v Speaker 1>Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout

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<v Speaker 1>Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We

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<v Speaker 1>pay our respect to their elders past and present and

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<v Speaker 1>extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander

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<v Speaker 1>peoples today.

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<v Speaker 2>This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of the Aurora Nation.

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<v Speaker 2>Hi guys and all, welcome back to another episode of

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<v Speaker 2>Life Uncut. I'm Laura, I'm Brittany, and this is our

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<v Speaker 2>Thursday episode, our down and dirty little number where we

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<v Speaker 2>answer or you and you're burning questions.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, Laura, you've been wanting to try something out.

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<v Speaker 2>Something you read meditation to relax, try to orgasm, relax

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<v Speaker 2>my body.

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<v Speaker 1>You're like, how can I come without touching myself, my

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<v Speaker 1>mind and my spirit.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I haven't been trying to try something out, but

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<v Speaker 2>it's something you got to. But I will. I absolutely will,

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<v Speaker 2>because you all know how fucking lazy I am. So

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<v Speaker 2>if I can orgasm with just my mind, that sounds

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<v Speaker 2>like a great time.

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<v Speaker 1>So start of the start, because you pretty much came

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<v Speaker 1>in hot being like I'm gonna come without doing anything.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay. I found this article. It was in the deep

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<v Speaker 2>dark corners of the web. It's a Vice article that's

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<v Speaker 2>written by a woman named Genatnic, and it says I

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<v Speaker 2>tried to orgasm using only my mind. So apparently there

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<v Speaker 2>are these different techniques that you can use, which are

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<v Speaker 2>like erotic hypnosis and orgasmic breathing techniques, which mean that

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<v Speaker 2>you can just lay on your bed in a meditative state.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, I think, think.

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<v Speaker 2>Erotic thoughts, think about being touched, and your body will

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<v Speaker 2>have an orgasm for you without having to do anything.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I mean, I guess is that the idea behind

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<v Speaker 1>a wet dream? Right? You go to sleep at night,

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<v Speaker 1>you dream something. You don't necessarily have to touch yourself.

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<v Speaker 1>But people can orgasm in their.

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<v Speaker 2>Sleep, right, Well, I mean you know I haven't, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>I I yes, this is a fact, because I can

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<v Speaker 2>orgasm in my sleep, not like whenever I want to.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't go to bed and go all tonight's the night.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you wake up like touching yourself? No, No, it's

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<v Speaker 1>your dream.

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<v Speaker 2>I've told you this before.

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<v Speaker 1>If I'm just trying to get the details, I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know if we went into detail.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, No, you just wake up mid orgasm and you're like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>well that was good, and then you go back to sleep.

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<v Speaker 2>But you're not touching yourself. It just it happens. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>like a fourteen year old boy sometimes.

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<v Speaker 1>So it's a thing. So what does one have to do?

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<v Speaker 1>And can anyone do it? Okay? No?

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<v Speaker 2>So I put it out to the mind. Trust, I

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<v Speaker 2>put it out to you, guys. I asked the question

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<v Speaker 2>on our socials has anybody orgasm just from thinking about

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<v Speaker 2>an orgasm? So so many people wrote in saying that

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<v Speaker 2>they've had, like, you know, your stereotypical orgasm in your sleep.

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<v Speaker 1>That's stereotypical. It is not stereotypical. Some of us cannot

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<v Speaker 1>do that.

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<v Speaker 2>That's boring news. But what we wanted to know is

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<v Speaker 2>who has had an organ just from thinking. There was

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<v Speaker 2>one girl who had an orgasm in a sauna. She

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<v Speaker 2>didn't go into detail. She just said she was sitting in.

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<v Speaker 1>A sauna alone. I think she was a lot happens

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<v Speaker 1>in the old sauna.

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<v Speaker 2>I think she was alone and it was warm, and

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<v Speaker 2>she was thinking nice thoughts. It was warm, it was moist,

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<v Speaker 2>it was a great environment. Why do we hate the

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<v Speaker 2>word moist so much? But like people have an aversion

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<v Speaker 2>to the word moist. I think it's like one of

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<v Speaker 2>those things that people tell you that you're supposed to hate.

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<v Speaker 2>So then when someone says it, you're like, oh, moist

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<v Speaker 2>best word.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not the best word. I don't know why.

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<v Speaker 2>A moist cake.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, So she came in the sauna just by thinking.

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<v Speaker 2>There is another girl who had an orgasm on a

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<v Speaker 2>bus in Vietnam, very specific while she was thinking about

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<v Speaker 2>her crush and they were going over bumps. So I

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<v Speaker 2>feel like there was a little bit of turbulence.

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<v Speaker 1>It was the bumpy road turbulence.

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<v Speaker 2>But also she wasn't touching herself. She was just thinking

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<v Speaker 2>about her crush and then she had an orgasm.

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<v Speaker 1>Well that's also okay. So here's the thing, right, That's

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<v Speaker 1>not like you're just laying in bed thinking. That's still

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<v Speaker 1>a vibration. She's masturbating. It's not intentional, but the vibration

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<v Speaker 1>of the bumps is what's doing it, right.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay. Also this person, I mean, yeah, look, this is

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<v Speaker 2>also she's not touching herself, but she's using an apparatus.

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<v Speaker 2>She said. She said that she was having some good

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<v Speaker 2>thoughts and then she was doing a foam roll and

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<v Speaker 2>she had an orgasm.

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<v Speaker 1>Poam roller got the hips and stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>Well it doesn't say I don't think she pham rolled

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<v Speaker 2>her clitorists, but she was just she was just pham

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<v Speaker 2>rolling and then she had an orgasm. Okay, So jealous

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<v Speaker 2>of these people. One person watched porn, didn't touch themselves,

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<v Speaker 2>just came from watching porn.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, but here's my thing, right, this is all incredible,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm very jealous, But this isn't laying in bed

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<v Speaker 1>meditating thinking of an orgasm like this. People still using

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<v Speaker 1>external apparatuses.

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<v Speaker 2>You said, yeah, but you're just laying on your bed

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<v Speaker 2>watching porn and you have an orgasm about touching. That's amazing.

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<v Speaker 1>That's amazing, it's incredible. You're a superhuman. That is like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you're doing God's work. Peeling this back to basics. We

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<v Speaker 1>have been told by professionals that not all women can orgasm.

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<v Speaker 1>There are some women in the world that can't orgasm.

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<v Speaker 1>So I think it's pretty wild to think that anyone

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<v Speaker 1>can go and lay down and meditate an orgasm, Like,

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<v Speaker 1>surely you've got to be one of those people that

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<v Speaker 1>orgasm very freely.

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<v Speaker 2>There are I'm not exaggerating this, there are hundreds of

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<v Speaker 2>people who have written back saying that they do orgasm

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<v Speaker 2>in their sleep. And then we've got another person who

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<v Speaker 2>had an orgasm. They were very much awake and they

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<v Speaker 2>imagined having sex with their pa.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, the pair is in the room.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I shouldn't have an orgasm in front of her pa.

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<v Speaker 2>She just hadn't.

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<v Speaker 1>You can't control it.

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<v Speaker 2>She had a fantasy about her PA and it made

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<v Speaker 2>her have an orgasm.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow. So are these people trying to do it or

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<v Speaker 1>is it just happening? Are they consciously laying down thinking

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to meditate to orgasm or is it like

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<v Speaker 1>this one sounds like she just slipped on into it accidentally.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think you can. I mean, can you ever

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<v Speaker 2>go into something like even going into sex, Being like

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<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna have an orgasm usually makes the orgasm feel

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<v Speaker 2>a lot further away. So I feel like if you're

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<v Speaker 2>laying down just to have a rest and you think

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<v Speaker 2>I'm kind of orgasm, it probably isn't going to come.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like it just is something that you know

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<v Speaker 2>washes over you.

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<v Speaker 1>Did they tell you what you have to do to

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<v Speaker 1>do it? Are there some rules and stipulations?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, so I did do a little bit of a

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<v Speaker 2>deep dive into this, and apparently it's all about using

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<v Speaker 2>your mind. Obviously, Yes, it is rooted mind the pun

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<v Speaker 2>in thousands of years of Taoistic and tantric practices, and

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<v Speaker 2>it is very popular. This is what it says. It's

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<v Speaker 2>a very popular exercise among plenty of fetish communities, using

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<v Speaker 2>non physical stimulation like breathing exercises, hypnosis, and meditation. So

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<v Speaker 2>the writer of this article, Gina Tonic, she actually to

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<v Speaker 2>try and get the end goal of having an orgasm.

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<v Speaker 2>She didn't just lay down and then use her erotic thoughts.

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<v Speaker 2>There was four different steps and she kind of went

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<v Speaker 2>through this like four day phase. So on day one

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<v Speaker 2>she did erotic hypnosis, which she went to a licensed

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<v Speaker 2>hypnotist to go and do that part of it.

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<v Speaker 1>That's obviously something you can just learn.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I don't know, but I don't think that that

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<v Speaker 2>actually gave her an orgasm. I think it was just

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<v Speaker 2>to try and like unlock her sexual needs and desires. Now,

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<v Speaker 2>the second part of this was orgasmic breathing. So apparently

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<v Speaker 2>if you concentrate on your breathing, not that that's going

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<v Speaker 2>to get you to an orgasm, but concentrating on your

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<v Speaker 2>breathing apparently unlocks a deeper, bigger, more exciting orgasm than

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<v Speaker 2>shallow breathing. I mean, yeah, there's a lot to be

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<v Speaker 2>said for breathing.

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<v Speaker 1>People do whole breathing courses.

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<v Speaker 2>So breath work. Yeah, breath work didn't make getter to otown,

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<v Speaker 2>but you know, apparently it helps.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, okay.

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<v Speaker 2>Number three is a thing called coorgasm. So this is

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<v Speaker 2>kind of like a combination of doing core exercises and

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<v Speaker 2>pelvic floor exercises and it's like a fitness work. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>but apparently doing these specific coorgasm type exercises can bring

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<v Speaker 2>on an orgasm of itself, so you're actually instead of

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<v Speaker 2>like stimulating yourself with your hands, you're kind of internally

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<v Speaker 2>stimulating yourself. So like public floor exercises, like do it now,

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<v Speaker 2>do a bit of a pelp. It's a bit of rousey.

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<v Speaker 1>You actually you can, yeah, kick.

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<v Speaker 2>To a few more, wear some time jeans and do it. Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>And then number four was another thing called lucid dreaming,

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<v Speaker 2>which I think very much links into this idea, which

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<v Speaker 2>is what so many of you wrote in saying, is

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<v Speaker 2>that you'll have an orgasm when you're dreaming. So lucid

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<v Speaker 2>dreaming is that space when I think you would think

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<v Speaker 2>that you're asleep, but you're not quite asleep and you're

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<v Speaker 2>not quite awake, but you have yeah, you're aware that

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<v Speaker 2>you're dreaming that really and like you have those really

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<v Speaker 2>weird rapid thoughts and it will take you like you know,

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<v Speaker 2>you'll be doing some crazy shit and it kind of

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<v Speaker 2>feels like you're in a dream. But that apparently is

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<v Speaker 2>a really remarkable space to have orgasms in.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like the only lucid dream because I feel like

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<v Speaker 1>I've had them before, but the only ones I've had

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<v Speaker 1>because it's when you know you're in the dream but

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<v Speaker 1>you can't get out of it and you can manipulate it.

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<v Speaker 1>I've had it before where I'm just like a scary dream,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, like a murder dream, and someone's chasing me

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<v Speaker 1>and I know it's like I'm telling myself, this is

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<v Speaker 1>a dream, don't be scared. But I still can't get

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<v Speaker 1>out of it, and I still have to manipulate the dream,

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<v Speaker 1>like I know where I have to go to hide

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<v Speaker 1>to get away. Have you ever had those?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, well but no, but next time you can manipulate

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<v Speaker 2>the dream so you can run away hard and masturbate

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<v Speaker 2>and maybe you will have an orgasm without having to

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<v Speaker 2>touch yourself.

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<v Speaker 1>Well maybe I'll try and yeah, divert it from a

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<v Speaker 1>scary dream to a sex dream next time I have

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<v Speaker 1>a lucid dream.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, in theory, it would be very nice to

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<v Speaker 2>be able to just lay there and get yourself to otown.

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<v Speaker 1>But then do you think you'd get lazier? Yes?

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<v Speaker 2>But also I mean, how lazy is it to just

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<v Speaker 2>whip out a vibrator and use that instead? I feel

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<v Speaker 2>like that is lazier. It's a faster way to get

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<v Speaker 2>yourself to where you want to be rather than laying

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<v Speaker 2>down doing orgasms and breath work.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, But then would you do you

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<v Speaker 1>think if you could just lay down and come without

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<v Speaker 1>doing anything that like you wouldn't put the effort in

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<v Speaker 1>with your partners.

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<v Speaker 2>Anymore, and like, hey, honey, I'm just gonna go for

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<v Speaker 2>a laid down all right.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, maybe we all need to go start up with

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<v Speaker 1>this forte corps.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to know though, if anybody else has just

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<v Speaker 2>and I know that the dreaming thing is a big thing,

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<v Speaker 2>So like, if you've had an orgasm dreaming like you know,

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<v Speaker 2>good for you, good for me. We've all done it.

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<v Speaker 2>Actually we haven't all done it, but a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>us have done it. But if you have managed to

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<v Speaker 2>get yourself to being able to have an orgasm just

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<v Speaker 2>from like, you know, the use of your own erotic thoughts,

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<v Speaker 2>I want to hear more about this, because this, to

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<v Speaker 2>me is absolutely fucking wild. Slide into the dms. Give

0:10:06.040 --> 0:10:07.520
<v Speaker 2>us a little bit of a rundown on how you

0:10:07.559 --> 0:10:10.240
<v Speaker 2>get there, on what you do, how you get yourself

0:10:10.280 --> 0:10:12.079
<v Speaker 2>in the mood. Is this like a whole self love

0:10:12.160 --> 0:10:12.880
<v Speaker 2>thing where it's.

0:10:12.720 --> 0:10:15.680
<v Speaker 1>Something you had to learn and train and study. I

0:10:15.720 --> 0:10:17.360
<v Speaker 1>want to know at all? And where send the links

0:10:17.400 --> 0:10:19.160
<v Speaker 1>to a four.

0:10:19.080 --> 0:10:21.520
<v Speaker 2>Day course for any wants to sign up. All right,

0:10:21.600 --> 0:10:23.880
<v Speaker 2>let's get into answering you deep. You're dark and you're

0:10:23.880 --> 0:10:27.800
<v Speaker 2>burning questions. So I met this guy at a bar

0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:30.120
<v Speaker 2>a few weeks ago and we went home together later

0:10:30.160 --> 0:10:32.839
<v Speaker 2>that night. After stalking him on socials, I figured out

0:10:32.880 --> 0:10:38.120
<v Speaker 2>that he has a fiance and a baby. Oh it

0:10:38.160 --> 0:10:40.840
<v Speaker 2>gets really weird. I confronted him about it, and he

0:10:40.880 --> 0:10:43.280
<v Speaker 2>says that they were engaged, but he decided to call

0:10:43.280 --> 0:10:46.720
<v Speaker 2>it off and just be friends just before the baby

0:10:46.800 --> 0:10:49.800
<v Speaker 2>was born. However, they haven't told anyone this as her

0:10:49.840 --> 0:10:52.920
<v Speaker 2>family is super religious and they are trying to navigate

0:10:52.960 --> 0:10:56.839
<v Speaker 2>the situation together. They still live together. I told him

0:10:56.880 --> 0:10:59.400
<v Speaker 2>I can't continue to see him unless he can prove

0:10:59.520 --> 0:11:02.480
<v Speaker 2>to me he isn't in a relationship, or unless he

0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:05.480
<v Speaker 2>tells her about me. He said he doesn't really know

0:11:05.559 --> 0:11:07.959
<v Speaker 2>how he would be able to prove it and isn't

0:11:08.000 --> 0:11:10.720
<v Speaker 2>ready to tell her unless he knows if we are

0:11:10.720 --> 0:11:13.560
<v Speaker 2>going somewhere. I really like this guy. The sex was

0:11:13.600 --> 0:11:16.600
<v Speaker 2>amazing and there is definitely something there between us, But

0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:19.480
<v Speaker 2>my gut says that maybe he's lying. Should I cut

0:11:19.520 --> 0:11:21.960
<v Speaker 2>it off now before I get any more invested.

0:11:22.920 --> 0:11:24.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm straight out of the gateway.

0:11:24.440 --> 0:11:26.839
<v Speaker 2>I think he's telling the truth. I think he's being

0:11:26.840 --> 0:11:29.719
<v Speaker 2>a really nice, upstanding guy. I think you should give

0:11:29.760 --> 0:11:31.560
<v Speaker 2>him the benefit of the doubt. And you know's not

0:11:31.679 --> 0:11:33.800
<v Speaker 2>telling the truth. He lives with his partner, they are

0:11:33.840 --> 0:11:36.320
<v Speaker 2>having a baby. He's cheating on his partner.

0:11:36.400 --> 0:11:38.839
<v Speaker 1>This is what every part of my gut instinct tells

0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:41.280
<v Speaker 1>me in this situation. I think every part of you

0:11:41.360 --> 0:11:43.480
<v Speaker 1>wants to believe him for sure, because you obviously had

0:11:43.480 --> 0:11:45.800
<v Speaker 1>an attraction to him, and there was maybe a crush there,

0:11:45.920 --> 0:11:47.880
<v Speaker 1>or there was some sort of feelings there. So you

0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:51.600
<v Speaker 1>always want to see the best in people. But every

0:11:51.640 --> 0:11:53.720
<v Speaker 1>single flag here is pointing to red.

0:11:54.080 --> 0:11:56.079
<v Speaker 2>I just think when you were writing this out, were

0:11:56.080 --> 0:11:59.640
<v Speaker 2>you just like, oh, yeah, he's definitely fucking lying to me.

0:12:00.280 --> 0:12:01.800
<v Speaker 2>I feel like, as soon as you write this question

0:12:01.840 --> 0:12:03.320
<v Speaker 2>out and you can see it for point blank for

0:12:03.360 --> 0:12:06.240
<v Speaker 2>what it is, my thing is he says, Oh, there's

0:12:06.240 --> 0:12:07.920
<v Speaker 2>no way for me to prove it that we've broken up.

0:12:08.120 --> 0:12:10.559
<v Speaker 2>If he really wanted to prove it, there would be

0:12:10.600 --> 0:12:12.200
<v Speaker 2>a way for him to prove it. There would be

0:12:12.200 --> 0:12:14.640
<v Speaker 2>text messages between him and his partner being like, you know,

0:12:14.960 --> 0:12:17.840
<v Speaker 2>we've broken up whatever. It's not like you walk in

0:12:17.880 --> 0:12:20.240
<v Speaker 2>one day and say, hey, honey, I think we should

0:12:20.320 --> 0:12:24.000
<v Speaker 2>separate and still live together and raise this baby together

0:12:24.040 --> 0:12:26.360
<v Speaker 2>and pretend to everybody else that we're still together and

0:12:26.400 --> 0:12:28.720
<v Speaker 2>never text about it. There are ways for him to

0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:31.880
<v Speaker 2>prove it to you if he could prove it. The

0:12:31.920 --> 0:12:34.000
<v Speaker 2>reason why he says he doesn't know how he could

0:12:34.080 --> 0:12:35.760
<v Speaker 2>prove it and he wants to keep you a secret

0:12:35.800 --> 0:12:37.440
<v Speaker 2>is because he is fucking lying.

0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:39.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, he's got a whole other lie, and.

0:12:39.400 --> 0:12:41.440
<v Speaker 2>He has a whole other life. And also, I mean,

0:12:41.760 --> 0:12:44.040
<v Speaker 2>it just sounds like to me, even if he isn't lying,

0:12:44.520 --> 0:12:47.720
<v Speaker 2>even if let's just say, for some amazing, remarkable reason

0:12:47.760 --> 0:12:49.600
<v Speaker 2>that he is telling the truth, benefit of the doubt,

0:12:49.800 --> 0:12:53.080
<v Speaker 2>this is so much baggage. Do you want to be

0:12:53.120 --> 0:12:54.920
<v Speaker 2>in a relationship with someone where they're going to keep

0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:55.839
<v Speaker 2>you alie.

0:12:55.600 --> 0:12:57.920
<v Speaker 1>And someone that has well, I'm assuming he's quite a

0:12:57.960 --> 0:13:00.280
<v Speaker 1>new baby, a newborn baby, I don't know, but he's

0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:03.080
<v Speaker 1>got a baby with somebody recently that he still lives with.

0:13:03.120 --> 0:13:04.719
<v Speaker 1>I'm not sure if it's the relationship you want to

0:13:04.760 --> 0:13:05.439
<v Speaker 1>be jumping into.

0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:07.439
<v Speaker 2>No, should you cut it off with him now before

0:13:07.440 --> 0:13:10.200
<v Speaker 2>you get more invested. The answer to this, in I

0:13:10.200 --> 0:13:11.959
<v Speaker 2>think this is the most black and white question we've

0:13:11.960 --> 0:13:15.319
<v Speaker 2>ever received, is absolutely yes. And do I think he's

0:13:15.360 --> 0:13:18.400
<v Speaker 2>lying to Yes, you said, my gut tells me he's lying.

0:13:18.880 --> 0:13:20.760
<v Speaker 2>I think that this is such an important thing because

0:13:20.760 --> 0:13:24.120
<v Speaker 2>sometimes we want to disbelieve our intuition. We try so

0:13:24.240 --> 0:13:27.240
<v Speaker 2>hard to ignore what our intuition is telling us because

0:13:27.240 --> 0:13:29.640
<v Speaker 2>we want something so much, we want the reality to

0:13:29.679 --> 0:13:31.800
<v Speaker 2>be different, and so we just kind of we will

0:13:31.880 --> 0:13:35.120
<v Speaker 2>ignore what our gut's telling us because the fantasy of

0:13:35.160 --> 0:13:36.880
<v Speaker 2>what we want is so much greater. And I think

0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:40.600
<v Speaker 2>in this instance, your warning internal warning systems are saying,

0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:44.160
<v Speaker 2>like meee, this is a fucking bad idea, but you're

0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:46.040
<v Speaker 2>trying to ignore it because you want him.

0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:49.120
<v Speaker 1>Always go with your gut instinct. Trust your gut instinct.

0:13:49.120 --> 0:13:50.600
<v Speaker 1>That's what we're going to drive home here. This is

0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:53.400
<v Speaker 1>alarm bells all over. From the second the first word

0:13:53.440 --> 0:13:56.360
<v Speaker 1>I read, which was I, to the end was invested.

0:13:56.720 --> 0:13:59.320
<v Speaker 1>The whole thing is aginal alarm all right, Save your soul,

0:13:59.480 --> 0:14:02.199
<v Speaker 1>save your heart, save your emotions, and just don't even

0:14:02.240 --> 0:14:02.959
<v Speaker 1>go any deeper.

0:14:03.280 --> 0:14:06.360
<v Speaker 2>Question number two. I'm getting married next year and I

0:14:06.400 --> 0:14:08.680
<v Speaker 2>don't know if I want my dad to walk me

0:14:08.760 --> 0:14:12.280
<v Speaker 2>down the aisle. One. I don't feel totally comfortable with

0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:15.600
<v Speaker 2>the concept of the father giving the bride away. I

0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:17.920
<v Speaker 2>feel like it's a little bit outdated and low key

0:14:18.040 --> 0:14:21.520
<v Speaker 2>gives me the ick. Number two. My dad and I

0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:24.440
<v Speaker 2>have a good relationship, but we aren't super close. What

0:14:24.480 --> 0:14:26.920
<v Speaker 2>are your thoughts on the bride walking down the aisle

0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:31.000
<v Speaker 2>solo and how I should approach this conversation with my dad?

0:14:32.280 --> 0:14:35.120
<v Speaker 1>Oh, I mean, I guess this is one I haven't

0:14:35.320 --> 0:14:38.080
<v Speaker 1>overly thought of before because I haven't been in a

0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:40.440
<v Speaker 1>position where you know, I'm getting married and thinking about it,

0:14:40.480 --> 0:14:43.160
<v Speaker 1>and I haven't had the conversation with my dad. My

0:14:43.320 --> 0:14:46.400
<v Speaker 1>first thought before we throw to you, Laura, is that

0:14:46.640 --> 0:14:48.520
<v Speaker 1>at this day and age, I think you can do

0:14:48.560 --> 0:14:50.320
<v Speaker 1>anything you want to do at a wedding, whatever you're

0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:52.400
<v Speaker 1>comfortable with. I think a lot of people think it's

0:14:52.440 --> 0:14:55.040
<v Speaker 1>really nice to have this tradition, and I think there's

0:14:55.040 --> 0:14:56.760
<v Speaker 1>no wrong and right with a wedding anymore. I think

0:14:56.760 --> 0:14:58.960
<v Speaker 1>you do whatever you're comfortable with in maybe you want

0:14:59.000 --> 0:15:00.720
<v Speaker 1>to include your out in a different in the ceremony

0:15:00.760 --> 0:15:03.000
<v Speaker 1>if you don't feel comfortable with him physically walking you

0:15:03.080 --> 0:15:04.760
<v Speaker 1>down and giving you away. There are so many other

0:15:04.800 --> 0:15:07.800
<v Speaker 1>ways that you can include someone in a ceremony, but

0:15:07.880 --> 0:15:10.360
<v Speaker 1>first and foremost, you have to be comfortable.

0:15:09.920 --> 0:15:12.560
<v Speaker 2>On your day totally. And I think, like just on

0:15:12.600 --> 0:15:14.840
<v Speaker 2>what you said, Britt, like this idea of it can

0:15:14.880 --> 0:15:17.760
<v Speaker 2>be a really beautiful thing. I think it's only a

0:15:17.800 --> 0:15:20.280
<v Speaker 2>really beautiful thing if the relationship you have with your

0:15:20.360 --> 0:15:23.200
<v Speaker 2>dad is a really beautiful thing. If like it's a

0:15:23.240 --> 0:15:26.720
<v Speaker 2>special moment to you because it signifies something that's important

0:15:26.760 --> 0:15:28.520
<v Speaker 2>to you, you know, I think that then it's a

0:15:28.560 --> 0:15:32.680
<v Speaker 2>really beautiful thing for me. I found this really tricky

0:15:32.800 --> 0:15:35.120
<v Speaker 2>because my parents got divorced when I was really little.

0:15:35.200 --> 0:15:37.640
<v Speaker 2>They got divorced when I was three, and my dad

0:15:37.680 --> 0:15:40.239
<v Speaker 2>was an army major. I mean, we had a good relationship,

0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:41.960
<v Speaker 2>but he wasn't around a lot like he spent a

0:15:41.960 --> 0:15:45.240
<v Speaker 2>lot of time away. He moved to Townsville, so he

0:15:45.280 --> 0:15:47.720
<v Speaker 2>wasn't even in the same state as me, So we

0:15:47.920 --> 0:15:50.800
<v Speaker 2>had a pretty disjointed connection for a lot of years.

0:15:51.120 --> 0:15:53.040
<v Speaker 2>And so it didn't feel right to me to just

0:15:53.120 --> 0:15:55.160
<v Speaker 2>have my dad walk me down the aisle and not

0:15:55.480 --> 0:15:58.080
<v Speaker 2>my mom. So I had my dad and my mom

0:15:58.120 --> 0:16:00.600
<v Speaker 2>walked me down the aisle. I now, I have a

0:16:00.640 --> 0:16:03.440
<v Speaker 2>great relationship with both of them, but trying to preference

0:16:03.480 --> 0:16:06.560
<v Speaker 2>one of them having divorce parents seemed like a really

0:16:06.600 --> 0:16:08.400
<v Speaker 2>cruel thing to do. So I wasn't going to kind

0:16:08.400 --> 0:16:10.560
<v Speaker 2>of lean into that just because that's what tradition said.

0:16:10.640 --> 0:16:12.400
<v Speaker 1>No, you had the kids and the dog, you had

0:16:12.400 --> 0:16:14.520
<v Speaker 1>your mom, you had your dad, like you had whatever

0:16:14.560 --> 0:16:15.680
<v Speaker 1>made you feel comfortable.

0:16:15.760 --> 0:16:17.240
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, my dog walked me down the out. But also,

0:16:17.360 --> 0:16:20.080
<v Speaker 2>like in the opposite to that, when my sister got married,

0:16:20.400 --> 0:16:22.920
<v Speaker 2>she had me and my brother walk her down the aisle.

0:16:22.960 --> 0:16:24.880
<v Speaker 2>She didn't have either of my parents walk her down

0:16:24.880 --> 0:16:27.280
<v Speaker 2>the aisle because for her, she was like, look, you know,

0:16:27.680 --> 0:16:29.920
<v Speaker 2>it means something different to me, and I want my

0:16:29.960 --> 0:16:32.360
<v Speaker 2>siblings to be there because they've been my support as

0:16:32.360 --> 0:16:34.840
<v Speaker 2>well through my whole life. I do think that, yeah,

0:16:34.920 --> 0:16:37.000
<v Speaker 2>maybe your dad may take it to some offense. He

0:16:37.080 --> 0:16:39.440
<v Speaker 2>may be upset by it, but I think having a

0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:41.800
<v Speaker 2>conversation with him around you don't have to make it

0:16:41.840 --> 0:16:43.840
<v Speaker 2>a big big deal. But just saying, oh, Dad, we

0:16:43.880 --> 0:16:46.840
<v Speaker 2>aren't doing things really traditionally, I'm not actually going to

0:16:46.880 --> 0:16:49.200
<v Speaker 2>have anyone walk me down the aisle. You know, we

0:16:49.320 --> 0:16:52.160
<v Speaker 2>kind of aren't having a supertrauditional wedding, and just managing

0:16:52.200 --> 0:16:54.960
<v Speaker 2>his expectations a little bit can go a really long

0:16:55.000 --> 0:16:57.720
<v Speaker 2>way as opposed to saying like, oh Dad, I don't

0:16:57.720 --> 0:16:59.640
<v Speaker 2>want you to walk me down the aisle because I

0:16:59.640 --> 0:17:02.040
<v Speaker 2>think that feels very pointed. That might turn it into

0:17:02.040 --> 0:17:04.480
<v Speaker 2>something that you don't want it to be. But yeah,

0:17:04.520 --> 0:17:07.600
<v Speaker 2>I do ultimately think that weddings are at one situation

0:17:07.680 --> 0:17:10.320
<v Speaker 2>in life where you have to kind of like juggle, right,

0:17:10.840 --> 0:17:13.040
<v Speaker 2>is this going to bring more drama to my life

0:17:13.040 --> 0:17:15.280
<v Speaker 2>than it's worth? And if the answer is no, and

0:17:15.320 --> 0:17:16.960
<v Speaker 2>it means you're going to have the wedding that you want.

0:17:17.280 --> 0:17:19.480
<v Speaker 2>Then whatever it is that you want is how the

0:17:19.560 --> 0:17:21.560
<v Speaker 2>day is going to be. And there is no tradition

0:17:21.600 --> 0:17:23.320
<v Speaker 2>that you have to lean into if you don't want.

0:17:23.200 --> 0:17:24.640
<v Speaker 1>To absolutely agree.

0:17:26.240 --> 0:17:28.800
<v Speaker 2>Okay, question number three, Brittany.

0:17:28.520 --> 0:17:31.119
<v Speaker 1>Okay, question number three. I'm just gonna hitchhike on the

0:17:31.160 --> 0:17:34.080
<v Speaker 1>back of your wedding question with another way in question.

0:17:34.240 --> 0:17:35.960
<v Speaker 1>Because it's wedding season, it is summer.

0:17:36.080 --> 0:17:37.719
<v Speaker 2>I how long does wedding season go for?

0:17:37.840 --> 0:17:39.560
<v Speaker 1>Well, I think probably like six months.

0:17:39.680 --> 0:17:42.680
<v Speaker 2>I feel like wedding season is all year round because

0:17:42.680 --> 0:17:44.639
<v Speaker 2>some people have some weddings and some people have winter weddings.

0:17:44.680 --> 0:17:45.760
<v Speaker 2>It's just always a wedding season.

0:17:45.800 --> 0:17:47.800
<v Speaker 1>It's also like a backlog of COVID weddings now, so

0:17:47.840 --> 0:17:50.880
<v Speaker 1>it's forever. Okay. I am getting married next year in Fiji,

0:17:50.920 --> 0:17:53.359
<v Speaker 1>and my fiance and I have invited our closest friends

0:17:53.400 --> 0:17:55.880
<v Speaker 1>and family to come and celebrate our day with us.

0:17:56.240 --> 0:17:57.639
<v Speaker 1>I have a group of girls I see on the

0:17:57.640 --> 0:18:00.399
<v Speaker 1>odd occasion, four of which I am personally close with

0:18:00.480 --> 0:18:03.440
<v Speaker 1>and have invited to my wedding. The other girls are

0:18:03.480 --> 0:18:05.760
<v Speaker 1>more friends of friends who I don't really have a

0:18:05.800 --> 0:18:08.520
<v Speaker 1>lot to do with the group of girlfriends who are

0:18:08.640 --> 0:18:12.480
<v Speaker 1>invited were organizing accommodation for themselves when another girl in

0:18:12.520 --> 0:18:15.240
<v Speaker 1>the group, who I don't really know or particularly like,

0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:18.679
<v Speaker 1>invited herself on the holiday. Now. I know it's a

0:18:18.680 --> 0:18:21.639
<v Speaker 1>public place, but just makes me uncomfortable as I am

0:18:21.640 --> 0:18:24.199
<v Speaker 1>in Fiji to celebrate my wedding with my friends and

0:18:24.280 --> 0:18:27.200
<v Speaker 1>family and she's not somebody who I would want around

0:18:27.240 --> 0:18:29.560
<v Speaker 1>my new in laws, as she can be a bit

0:18:29.600 --> 0:18:31.800
<v Speaker 1>of a troublemaker and I don't agree with her morals.

0:18:32.200 --> 0:18:35.040
<v Speaker 1>Am I in my right to politely ask that she

0:18:35.119 --> 0:18:38.320
<v Speaker 1>does not come or is she entitled to come if

0:18:38.359 --> 0:18:41.400
<v Speaker 1>she pleases. I just find it weird and awkward.

0:18:41.520 --> 0:18:44.280
<v Speaker 2>It is awkward. I did this to my friend, did you.

0:18:44.520 --> 0:18:46.560
<v Speaker 2>I'm a fucking bad friend. I was so young and

0:18:46.600 --> 0:18:48.880
<v Speaker 2>I didn't understand the etiquette of weddings, like I really

0:18:48.960 --> 0:18:51.359
<v Speaker 2>didn't if my girlfriend got married in the Philippines, I

0:18:51.400 --> 0:18:53.760
<v Speaker 2>was in my twenties. I was supposed to be going

0:18:53.800 --> 0:18:56.160
<v Speaker 2>with my boyfriend at the time, and then we broke off.

0:18:56.400 --> 0:18:58.040
<v Speaker 2>So I was like, oh, just bring by my friend.

0:18:58.080 --> 0:19:00.639
<v Speaker 2>I just my friend can come with me, and she

0:19:00.840 --> 0:19:03.960
<v Speaker 2>was so I know, I now know how bad.

0:19:03.960 --> 0:19:06.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm just like, I'll just replace him with someone else

0:19:06.040 --> 0:19:06.640
<v Speaker 1>that you don't know.

0:19:06.800 --> 0:19:09.040
<v Speaker 2>So I was like, look, I'll bring my friend. She'll

0:19:09.080 --> 0:19:11.120
<v Speaker 2>just stay with me, because I had we were only

0:19:11.200 --> 0:19:12.639
<v Speaker 2>going to the wedding for a little while, for a

0:19:12.640 --> 0:19:15.160
<v Speaker 2>couple of days, and then my girlfriend Gallina was going

0:19:15.200 --> 0:19:17.040
<v Speaker 2>off and she was having her own holiday in the

0:19:17.040 --> 0:19:20.080
<v Speaker 2>Philippines and so were we, so and it wasn't together.

0:19:20.119 --> 0:19:21.600
<v Speaker 2>It was just a couple of days over the wedding

0:19:21.600 --> 0:19:23.440
<v Speaker 2>that was together. And I was like, well, he's not

0:19:23.480 --> 0:19:24.800
<v Speaker 2>going to come with me now, I'm not going to

0:19:24.840 --> 0:19:27.600
<v Speaker 2>cancel the whole trip. I've booked all this accommodation, So

0:19:27.640 --> 0:19:30.119
<v Speaker 2>why doesn't my girlfriend just come? I was like, she

0:19:30.119 --> 0:19:31.560
<v Speaker 2>doesn't have to come to the wedding, but why doesn't

0:19:31.600 --> 0:19:34.880
<v Speaker 2>she just come with me? And then Galina, because she's

0:19:34.920 --> 0:19:37.639
<v Speaker 2>an absolute angel, superstar, she was like, just bring her

0:19:37.680 --> 0:19:40.560
<v Speaker 2>to the wedding. It's fine, Like bring your friend. And

0:19:40.600 --> 0:19:43.440
<v Speaker 2>now I understand, as someone who's now gotten married myself,

0:19:43.480 --> 0:19:47.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm so cooked. How presumptuous to just invite anyone.

0:19:49.320 --> 0:19:52.320
<v Speaker 1>Oh, Keisha's here saying it's fine. Oh, because you think

0:19:52.320 --> 0:19:54.840
<v Speaker 1>it's fine to bring a random to someone else's wedding

0:19:54.920 --> 0:19:56.760
<v Speaker 1>that they don't know. What else are you supposed to

0:19:56.760 --> 0:19:59.280
<v Speaker 1>do travel around by yourself in the Philippines for two weeks.

0:20:00.000 --> 0:20:03.399
<v Speaker 2>Hey, I think in my instance, she was very understanding

0:20:03.400 --> 0:20:06.040
<v Speaker 2>of my situation, right, Like, she didn't have to invite

0:20:06.080 --> 0:20:07.639
<v Speaker 2>Kai or my girlfriend. She didn't have to invite her

0:20:07.640 --> 0:20:11.399
<v Speaker 2>to the wedding. That wasn't my expectation. However, it would

0:20:11.400 --> 0:20:14.040
<v Speaker 2>have been weird to exclude her because all the wedding

0:20:14.040 --> 0:20:16.199
<v Speaker 2>people were staying at the same accommodation, so it was

0:20:16.200 --> 0:20:17.800
<v Speaker 2>a week fault in. Yeah, it was like a lose

0:20:17.840 --> 0:20:21.600
<v Speaker 2>lose situation for her. I just think if it's not

0:20:21.760 --> 0:20:25.080
<v Speaker 2>your wedding, it's rude to assume that you should just

0:20:25.200 --> 0:20:28.760
<v Speaker 2>invite extra people. However, I guess the thing that is

0:20:28.800 --> 0:20:31.080
<v Speaker 2>a big thing is when you're having a destination wedding,

0:20:31.359 --> 0:20:34.399
<v Speaker 2>when it's a you're going overseas, Destination weddings end up

0:20:34.400 --> 0:20:36.879
<v Speaker 2>becoming holidays as well. So for me, yeah, I went

0:20:36.880 --> 0:20:38.760
<v Speaker 2>to a destination wedding in the Philippines, but that was

0:20:38.840 --> 0:20:41.439
<v Speaker 2>also my holiday for the year that I took in

0:20:41.480 --> 0:20:44.280
<v Speaker 2>the Philippines for two weeks, So the wedding is only

0:20:44.280 --> 0:20:46.360
<v Speaker 2>a couple of days of what was my also two

0:20:46.359 --> 0:20:49.520
<v Speaker 2>week holidays. So I think you have to kind of

0:20:49.560 --> 0:20:52.960
<v Speaker 2>be a little bit flexible when you've got every single

0:20:53.040 --> 0:20:56.560
<v Speaker 2>person traveling to be at your wedding by a different

0:20:56.560 --> 0:20:57.639
<v Speaker 2>country to a different country.

0:20:57.720 --> 0:20:59.639
<v Speaker 1>I I'm on the fence with this one. Not on

0:20:59.640 --> 0:21:01.800
<v Speaker 1>the fence. I understand what you're saying, and I agree

0:21:01.840 --> 0:21:05.400
<v Speaker 1>with it. Right, if it's a destination whening, specifically you

0:21:05.480 --> 0:21:08.360
<v Speaker 1>are going to another place to travel, people probably would

0:21:08.440 --> 0:21:10.040
<v Speaker 1>make it there one holiday of the year. So yes,

0:21:10.080 --> 0:21:12.200
<v Speaker 1>you do want to make it a holiday. Maybe you

0:21:12.240 --> 0:21:14.439
<v Speaker 1>do want to travel with friends after. But it's a

0:21:14.440 --> 0:21:16.879
<v Speaker 1>tricky situation because of what you'd just said, Laura. If

0:21:17.240 --> 0:21:20.399
<v Speaker 1>you can't really just say my friend will come, but

0:21:20.520 --> 0:21:22.280
<v Speaker 1>sure to stay in the room and won't do anything,

0:21:22.320 --> 0:21:24.520
<v Speaker 1>because that's not how it works, right. There's always these

0:21:24.520 --> 0:21:27.040
<v Speaker 1>big get togethers for the weddings for usually days before,

0:21:27.200 --> 0:21:29.679
<v Speaker 1>days after, especially if it's a destination wedding, so it

0:21:29.760 --> 0:21:32.560
<v Speaker 1>can get a little bit tricky. I think the best bet,

0:21:32.640 --> 0:21:35.840
<v Speaker 1>if possible, is to still do the two fly over

0:21:35.920 --> 0:21:37.679
<v Speaker 1>for the wedding and then maybe ask your friend to

0:21:37.720 --> 0:21:40.280
<v Speaker 1>come and meet you on the day after the wedding

0:21:40.359 --> 0:21:42.280
<v Speaker 1>so that you know you can focus on your friends

0:21:42.280 --> 0:21:45.080
<v Speaker 1>and the family and you're a part of that, and

0:21:45.119 --> 0:21:46.960
<v Speaker 1>then your friend can come over the next day, you

0:21:46.960 --> 0:21:49.359
<v Speaker 1>can continue on your holiday. I think that would probably

0:21:49.359 --> 0:21:51.720
<v Speaker 1>be the best way to navigate it, if possible, But

0:21:51.760 --> 0:21:54.280
<v Speaker 1>I understand that you still need to like live out

0:21:54.280 --> 0:21:56.399
<v Speaker 1>your life and go on your holiday. And it's a

0:21:56.680 --> 0:21:58.560
<v Speaker 1>very very tricky one. But I don't think you can

0:21:58.680 --> 0:22:01.800
<v Speaker 1>expect you have a random at someone else's wedding.

0:22:01.880 --> 0:22:03.720
<v Speaker 2>No, you absolutely can't. And I think we're answering this

0:22:03.800 --> 0:22:05.760
<v Speaker 2>question around the wrong way though, because the person who

0:22:05.800 --> 0:22:08.159
<v Speaker 2>wrote this in is the bride and she's saying I

0:22:08.200 --> 0:22:09.960
<v Speaker 2>don't want a random to be at my web we're

0:22:10.000 --> 0:22:11.760
<v Speaker 2>coming for stat And I guess what I want to

0:22:11.800 --> 0:22:14.320
<v Speaker 2>say to you, as the bride who has had a

0:22:14.320 --> 0:22:17.520
<v Speaker 2>destination wedding and your friend has invited her friend to

0:22:17.640 --> 0:22:20.719
<v Speaker 2>also come on what will be her holiday. What I

0:22:20.760 --> 0:22:24.560
<v Speaker 2>think you can do is I don't think you can say, oh,

0:22:24.600 --> 0:22:26.640
<v Speaker 2>I don't want you to invite your friend at all

0:22:26.680 --> 0:22:29.840
<v Speaker 2>to the destination because, like you know, you don't own Fiji.

0:22:29.960 --> 0:22:30.960
<v Speaker 2>Fiji's not yours.

0:22:31.000 --> 0:22:32.959
<v Speaker 1>Believe it or not, phijist on your iselands.

0:22:33.040 --> 0:22:36.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, her friend can come to Fiji, right, But you

0:22:36.160 --> 0:22:39.040
<v Speaker 2>do not have an obligation to invite that friend to

0:22:39.160 --> 0:22:41.560
<v Speaker 2>any of the wedding things. So if the wedding goes

0:22:41.600 --> 0:22:44.000
<v Speaker 2>for three days and there's a lunch and a dinner

0:22:44.119 --> 0:22:47.119
<v Speaker 2>and I get together whatever it looks like, you don't

0:22:47.160 --> 0:22:49.640
<v Speaker 2>have an obligation to invite the person that you don't

0:22:49.680 --> 0:22:52.280
<v Speaker 2>want there. And if they feel left out, well that's

0:22:52.320 --> 0:22:54.480
<v Speaker 2>really on them because they've come away on a holiday

0:22:54.560 --> 0:22:56.440
<v Speaker 2>where the person that they've chosen to come away with

0:22:57.000 --> 0:23:00.480
<v Speaker 2>is at a wedding. So I think you can as

0:23:00.560 --> 0:23:03.639
<v Speaker 2>inclusive or as non inclusive as you want to be.

0:23:03.720 --> 0:23:06.560
<v Speaker 2>And in my instance, Galena, my girlfriend, she was incredibly

0:23:06.560 --> 0:23:09.600
<v Speaker 2>inclusive with my friend. But I now understand what a

0:23:09.760 --> 0:23:12.440
<v Speaker 2>massive offering that is to have someone who you don't

0:23:12.440 --> 0:23:14.480
<v Speaker 2>know what your wedding it's yea, it's looking by now

0:23:14.520 --> 0:23:17.720
<v Speaker 2>after you've had your wedding wild wild, I would probably

0:23:17.760 --> 0:23:19.119
<v Speaker 2>not be as good a person.

0:23:19.160 --> 0:23:23.520
<v Speaker 1>I actually remember, I mean different, but I remember, Oh god,

0:23:23.520 --> 0:23:26.600
<v Speaker 1>it must have been pretty old. Must have been ten twelve,

0:23:26.640 --> 0:23:29.480
<v Speaker 1>Pretty old. Must have been ten years ago at least

0:23:29.720 --> 0:23:33.080
<v Speaker 1>one of my friends got married and I was dating

0:23:33.119 --> 0:23:35.600
<v Speaker 1>someone at the time, but it was pretty new and

0:23:35.720 --> 0:23:37.479
<v Speaker 1>I was part of the Brighter party and I had said, hey,

0:23:37.520 --> 0:23:39.760
<v Speaker 1>do you mind if they come, like, you know, we're dating,

0:23:40.560 --> 0:23:43.399
<v Speaker 1>And she was really honest. She was like, well, actually,

0:23:43.440 --> 0:23:45.440
<v Speaker 1>like I don't want them to. She's not a bad way,

0:23:45.480 --> 0:23:46.879
<v Speaker 1>but she was like, I don't really know them, and

0:23:47.280 --> 0:23:49.000
<v Speaker 1>you know, I don't might not know what's gonna happen

0:23:49.040 --> 0:23:50.520
<v Speaker 1>with you guys in the future, and you know, like

0:23:50.600 --> 0:23:52.600
<v Speaker 1>we've sort of already got the tables settings and all

0:23:52.600 --> 0:23:55.200
<v Speaker 1>this kind of stuff. And I was I was like, yeah, cool,

0:23:55.400 --> 0:23:57.639
<v Speaker 1>totally fine. Like I hadn't even mentioned it to the

0:23:57.640 --> 0:23:59.240
<v Speaker 1>person I was dating. I just thought I would ask.

0:23:59.320 --> 0:24:00.680
<v Speaker 1>But there was a part of that was like, oh,

0:24:00.760 --> 0:24:02.280
<v Speaker 1>I thought you probably would have let him. Like there's

0:24:02.280 --> 0:24:04.320
<v Speaker 1>a little part there was like, oh, I thought, you

0:24:04.400 --> 0:24:06.280
<v Speaker 1>know it was my partner would have let him. But

0:24:06.320 --> 0:24:08.480
<v Speaker 1>I completely understood it, like when I went home and

0:24:08.480 --> 0:24:10.280
<v Speaker 1>thought about it, and I understand it way more now,

0:24:10.560 --> 0:24:12.359
<v Speaker 1>Like you just said, when you were older and you

0:24:12.400 --> 0:24:14.639
<v Speaker 1>look back, you're like, oh, it was wildly inappropriate. I

0:24:14.680 --> 0:24:16.399
<v Speaker 1>should never have even asked.

0:24:16.119 --> 0:24:17.679
<v Speaker 2>How long were you with the guy? Because I think

0:24:17.720 --> 0:24:19.359
<v Speaker 2>that this is a real point of contention for a

0:24:19.359 --> 0:24:21.280
<v Speaker 2>lot of people. I think a lot of people get

0:24:21.280 --> 0:24:24.040
<v Speaker 2>into new relationships and then they think that because they're

0:24:24.040 --> 0:24:26.240
<v Speaker 2>in a new relationship that their partner, even if the

0:24:26.280 --> 0:24:29.120
<v Speaker 2>bride and groom has never met them, should be an

0:24:29.160 --> 0:24:30.360
<v Speaker 2>eligible plus one.

0:24:30.760 --> 0:24:31.320
<v Speaker 1>We had the.

0:24:31.320 --> 0:24:34.919
<v Speaker 2>Rule at our wedding that unless your plus one is

0:24:34.960 --> 0:24:37.440
<v Speaker 2>something like if we haven't met your plus one, then

0:24:37.440 --> 0:24:39.719
<v Speaker 2>they're not coming unless you've been dating them for more

0:24:39.760 --> 0:24:40.200
<v Speaker 2>than a year.

0:24:40.400 --> 0:24:43.560
<v Speaker 1>She'd met him like once, but it was a new relationship,

0:24:43.600 --> 0:24:46.240
<v Speaker 1>pretty new couple of months. And also she'd known me

0:24:46.280 --> 0:24:47.879
<v Speaker 1>for a long time. I think she was looking at

0:24:47.880 --> 0:24:49.399
<v Speaker 1>this for what it was. She knew what it was.

0:24:49.600 --> 0:24:51.840
<v Speaker 1>She knew I was a rebound, she knew that it

0:24:51.960 --> 0:24:53.800
<v Speaker 1>was not going anywhere like she wouldn't tell me that,

0:24:53.920 --> 0:24:55.800
<v Speaker 1>but she was wise beyond her years. She one hundred

0:24:55.800 --> 0:24:57.159
<v Speaker 1>percent could see what I was doing. But I couldn't

0:24:57.200 --> 0:24:57.840
<v Speaker 1>see what I was doing.

0:24:57.960 --> 0:24:59.480
<v Speaker 2>Did you? I think you asked me for a plus

0:24:59.480 --> 0:25:00.639
<v Speaker 2>one as a joe to my wedding.

0:25:01.080 --> 0:25:02.680
<v Speaker 1>I could have been a joke because I'm never gonna

0:25:02.720 --> 0:25:03.040
<v Speaker 1>have one.

0:25:03.160 --> 0:25:05.399
<v Speaker 2>Lucky you didn't bring up plus one because didn't you

0:25:05.440 --> 0:25:07.600
<v Speaker 2>have a great night. I was actually all, really.

0:25:07.680 --> 0:25:09.080
<v Speaker 1>I can have a plus one. But it was more

0:25:09.119 --> 0:25:11.400
<v Speaker 1>that was a bit like because I'm sure Tony Cheek,

0:25:11.400 --> 0:25:12.760
<v Speaker 1>it was never gonna I was never gonna get a

0:25:12.760 --> 0:25:13.439
<v Speaker 1>plus one.

0:25:14.680 --> 0:25:18.840
<v Speaker 2>All right, let's go one more question. Question number. I

0:25:18.840 --> 0:25:21.480
<v Speaker 2>think it's four, but who's counting? Okay. I have two

0:25:21.560 --> 0:25:24.400
<v Speaker 2>guys on my radar. One I met online a while ago.

0:25:24.640 --> 0:25:27.960
<v Speaker 2>We clicked crazy chemistry. Then he went traveling for a

0:25:28.000 --> 0:25:30.840
<v Speaker 2>few months and we kept in contact regularly, calling, et cetera.

0:25:31.240 --> 0:25:33.359
<v Speaker 2>I was looking forward to when he came back in

0:25:33.440 --> 0:25:36.679
<v Speaker 2>two weeks, and we were intending on giving it a

0:25:36.680 --> 0:25:40.680
<v Speaker 2>bit of a shot. However, in the meantime, my longtime

0:25:40.800 --> 0:25:43.520
<v Speaker 2>friend from high school, who we've been back and forth

0:25:43.560 --> 0:25:46.240
<v Speaker 2>liking each other, expressed he has strong feelings for me.

0:25:46.680 --> 0:25:49.280
<v Speaker 2>Initially I was thinking no, but now I have strong

0:25:49.320 --> 0:25:52.240
<v Speaker 2>feelings for him also, but I still have strong feelings

0:25:52.280 --> 0:25:54.960
<v Speaker 2>for the other guy. I've been in decisive for ages

0:25:55.040 --> 0:25:57.080
<v Speaker 2>and have no idea how to decide what is the

0:25:57.160 --> 0:25:59.840
<v Speaker 2>right thing to do. Do I not date anyone because

0:25:59.840 --> 0:26:01.879
<v Speaker 2>I can't give them my full attention or do I

0:26:02.000 --> 0:26:04.840
<v Speaker 2>just simply flip a coin? So scared that I'm gonna

0:26:04.840 --> 0:26:07.480
<v Speaker 2>make the wrong decision. Is there any advice you have here?

0:26:07.920 --> 0:26:09.840
<v Speaker 1>Oh? This is hard do you know.

0:26:09.920 --> 0:26:11.520
<v Speaker 2>I feel like so many people have been in this

0:26:11.560 --> 0:26:13.959
<v Speaker 2>situation where they have really because, like you know, I

0:26:13.960 --> 0:26:15.960
<v Speaker 2>noticed some people say, oh, it's not possible to be

0:26:16.000 --> 0:26:18.280
<v Speaker 2>in love with two people at the same time. It

0:26:18.400 --> 0:26:21.040
<v Speaker 2>is very, very possible to be in a lot of

0:26:21.119 --> 0:26:23.000
<v Speaker 2>lust with two people at the same time. I actually

0:26:23.000 --> 0:26:24.640
<v Speaker 2>think it's probably possible to be in love with two

0:26:24.640 --> 0:26:25.160
<v Speaker 2>people as well.

0:26:25.200 --> 0:26:26.720
<v Speaker 1>But I think you can be in love with two people.

0:26:26.800 --> 0:26:29.040
<v Speaker 1>Different kinds of love, but I think you can. Yeah,

0:26:29.119 --> 0:26:31.520
<v Speaker 1>I do agree with that. I think that love is

0:26:31.760 --> 0:26:34.240
<v Speaker 1>way more complex and conflicting than what we liked it.

0:26:34.240 --> 0:26:36.360
<v Speaker 1>We like to package things up into perfect little boxes,

0:26:36.440 --> 0:26:38.199
<v Speaker 1>black and white, and we know that life is not

0:26:38.320 --> 0:26:40.199
<v Speaker 1>like that. I have been in a situation similar to

0:26:40.240 --> 0:26:43.040
<v Speaker 1>this before, many many, many, many many moods Ago. I

0:26:43.080 --> 0:26:45.280
<v Speaker 1>have spoken about this on the podcast many many many

0:26:45.320 --> 0:26:47.320
<v Speaker 1>Moods Ago. But I didn't know what to do. I

0:26:47.320 --> 0:26:48.879
<v Speaker 1>didn't know whether I could go back to someone that

0:26:48.920 --> 0:26:51.000
<v Speaker 1>I had had something with before that I had very

0:26:51.080 --> 0:26:54.679
<v Speaker 1>strong feelings for, or to go down the path of

0:26:54.760 --> 0:26:56.760
<v Speaker 1>someone new that I had meant that I didn't know that.

0:26:56.840 --> 0:26:58.960
<v Speaker 2>Well, did you toss a coin and call heads?

0:26:59.080 --> 0:26:59.280
<v Speaker 1>No?

0:26:59.480 --> 0:27:06.840
<v Speaker 2>I went to a psychic high, because that is so funny. Okay.

0:27:06.880 --> 0:27:09.959
<v Speaker 1>I remember being so confused because I was like, I

0:27:09.960 --> 0:27:11.879
<v Speaker 1>have all these feelings for this person that I was with,

0:27:12.000 --> 0:27:14.800
<v Speaker 1>and I did have this relationship with strong feelings and

0:27:14.840 --> 0:27:18.639
<v Speaker 1>I had something comfortable with them, you know. Yeah, and

0:27:18.680 --> 0:27:20.080
<v Speaker 1>then I had this new person who I had so

0:27:20.119 --> 0:27:22.040
<v Speaker 1>many feelings for, and I was so excited to see

0:27:22.080 --> 0:27:23.960
<v Speaker 1>what happened. But I was like, if I go one way,

0:27:24.280 --> 0:27:26.359
<v Speaker 1>am I going to lose the opportunity could be better?

0:27:26.400 --> 0:27:27.880
<v Speaker 1>But if I go that way, do I lose opportunity

0:27:27.920 --> 0:27:30.040
<v Speaker 1>of something that was amazing that I know was already great.

0:27:30.720 --> 0:27:33.040
<v Speaker 1>I had never been so confused in my life. So

0:27:33.119 --> 0:27:35.200
<v Speaker 1>I went to a psychick and I didn't say exactly.

0:27:35.280 --> 0:27:37.440
<v Speaker 1>I just said, look, I'm a bit confused with wanting

0:27:37.440 --> 0:27:39.639
<v Speaker 1>to go forward or back? And can I tell you

0:27:39.640 --> 0:27:43.320
<v Speaker 1>what she said? It was wild. She literally said, she

0:27:43.400 --> 0:27:44.760
<v Speaker 1>put me into this meditative state.

0:27:44.840 --> 0:27:45.960
<v Speaker 2>Right she did your orgasm?

0:27:46.040 --> 0:27:48.840
<v Speaker 1>No I didn't, I wish I did. She was like,

0:27:49.080 --> 0:27:51.600
<v Speaker 1>closure eyes, and I closed my eyes. She said, I'm

0:27:51.600 --> 0:27:53.600
<v Speaker 1>going to do it to you, right, Okay, close your eyes.

0:27:53.720 --> 0:27:56.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, close everyone do it with me. Closure eyes.

0:27:56.160 --> 0:27:59.800
<v Speaker 1>You're on the beach. You can hear the water lapping

0:27:59.840 --> 0:28:04.080
<v Speaker 1>on sand, the sun shining, the birds are out, it's

0:28:04.119 --> 0:28:08.280
<v Speaker 1>a beautiful day. You feel really good. You look out

0:28:08.359 --> 0:28:12.440
<v Speaker 1>to see and there's a beautiful boat. And on that

0:28:12.520 --> 0:28:16.480
<v Speaker 1>boat are two men. Oh I know where this is going,

0:28:16.520 --> 0:28:20.320
<v Speaker 1>the two men that you love. Oh. No, there's a

0:28:20.359 --> 0:28:24.440
<v Speaker 1>hole in the boat. The boat's sinking. Who do you say?

0:28:24.480 --> 0:28:26.240
<v Speaker 2>This is the dumbest question.

0:28:26.560 --> 0:28:29.000
<v Speaker 1>It was, so I said, burst into laugh How.

0:28:29.000 --> 0:28:30.160
<v Speaker 2>Much money do you pay for this time?

0:28:30.160 --> 0:28:33.439
<v Speaker 1>Too much money? But that was literally and I was like, okay,

0:28:33.640 --> 0:28:36.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm calling bullshit. You are not a psychic. That was

0:28:36.040 --> 0:28:38.200
<v Speaker 1>the dumbest way to decide. And I said, I opened

0:28:38.200 --> 0:28:39.880
<v Speaker 1>my eyes and I was like, are you kiddingnot save

0:28:39.920 --> 0:28:41.600
<v Speaker 1>both of them? She's like, no, you can only say one.

0:28:41.600 --> 0:28:42.920
<v Speaker 1>I said, no, I would save the boat.

0:28:43.120 --> 0:28:46.200
<v Speaker 2>I think that this is so common. I think one.

0:28:46.320 --> 0:28:48.320
<v Speaker 2>I think the situation you're in so common. But I

0:28:48.320 --> 0:28:51.600
<v Speaker 2>also think people wanting an answer, like you're riding into

0:28:51.680 --> 0:28:53.520
<v Speaker 2>us because you're wanting us to say, hey, go with

0:28:53.600 --> 0:28:56.160
<v Speaker 2>this guy, or go with this guy. And I've been

0:28:56.200 --> 0:28:58.720
<v Speaker 2>in the exact same situation as you, Like I had

0:28:59.040 --> 0:29:00.640
<v Speaker 2>a guy that I had been seeing for a really

0:29:00.640 --> 0:29:03.360
<v Speaker 2>long time. It was stable, he was great, Like I know,

0:29:03.480 --> 0:29:05.800
<v Speaker 2>I should have really liked him. And then I also

0:29:05.960 --> 0:29:08.000
<v Speaker 2>was in love with this other guy and I went

0:29:08.040 --> 0:29:10.000
<v Speaker 2>to a sidekick because I wanted them to give me

0:29:10.040 --> 0:29:11.720
<v Speaker 2>the answer, and they gave me absolutely nothing.

0:29:11.760 --> 0:29:13.800
<v Speaker 1>And what did they do? Did they do what I mind?

0:29:13.920 --> 0:29:18.000
<v Speaker 2>It? No? I ended up picking definitely the wrong one,

0:29:18.080 --> 0:29:19.080
<v Speaker 2>So probably don't.

0:29:19.360 --> 0:29:20.720
<v Speaker 1>They're probably both the wrong one.

0:29:20.840 --> 0:29:22.760
<v Speaker 2>They were the wrong one. And that's the thing. Look,

0:29:22.840 --> 0:29:25.360
<v Speaker 2>the reality is in life is that if you pick

0:29:25.400 --> 0:29:28.200
<v Speaker 2>one guy and the other one falls through, I very

0:29:28.280 --> 0:29:30.640
<v Speaker 2>much doubt in like five or six years time, you're

0:29:30.640 --> 0:29:32.600
<v Speaker 2>going to be thinking, God, I picked the wrong option.

0:29:32.720 --> 0:29:34.680
<v Speaker 2>You know, like you're going to pick the option that

0:29:34.800 --> 0:29:36.960
<v Speaker 2>is the right option for you with all the tools

0:29:36.960 --> 0:29:38.520
<v Speaker 2>that you have at the time. You're going to pick

0:29:38.560 --> 0:29:41.160
<v Speaker 2>the person that your heart wants, and you know what,

0:29:41.200 --> 0:29:42.440
<v Speaker 2>it might not be the one that's the best for

0:29:42.480 --> 0:29:44.280
<v Speaker 2>you on paper. It may not be the one that

0:29:44.360 --> 0:29:45.720
<v Speaker 2>works out to be the best for you in the

0:29:45.720 --> 0:29:47.720
<v Speaker 2>long run. But if it's not the one that's the

0:29:47.720 --> 0:29:50.800
<v Speaker 2>best for you, they're simply not the one, and you

0:29:50.840 --> 0:29:53.400
<v Speaker 2>can't beat yourself up about it. I think the big

0:29:53.440 --> 0:29:56.120
<v Speaker 2>thing in this is you don't have to instantly be

0:29:56.240 --> 0:30:00.000
<v Speaker 2>committed to anybody. It's okay to keep your options open

0:30:00.040 --> 0:30:02.360
<v Speaker 2>for a little while and to be transparent and say, like,

0:30:02.880 --> 0:30:05.080
<v Speaker 2>I really like you, but I just want to date

0:30:05.120 --> 0:30:07.240
<v Speaker 2>for a little while. Go on a couple of dates

0:30:07.240 --> 0:30:09.280
<v Speaker 2>with this guy. When he comes back, go on a

0:30:09.280 --> 0:30:12.720
<v Speaker 2>few dates with your friend and see if the chemistry's there.

0:30:12.760 --> 0:30:15.760
<v Speaker 2>But I think be transparent in that conversation, and you

0:30:15.800 --> 0:30:17.720
<v Speaker 2>know what, you might be in even more pickle thans

0:30:17.840 --> 0:30:19.760
<v Speaker 2>three or four weeks time where you're like, oh, now

0:30:19.800 --> 0:30:22.280
<v Speaker 2>I really really like both of them. But it might

0:30:22.360 --> 0:30:25.200
<v Speaker 2>also give you a bit more information on each person

0:30:25.320 --> 0:30:27.880
<v Speaker 2>to try and figure out what you really want, you know,

0:30:27.920 --> 0:30:29.760
<v Speaker 2>and figure out whether not just what you want and

0:30:29.800 --> 0:30:31.640
<v Speaker 2>not what chemistry is telling you what you want. But

0:30:31.800 --> 0:30:33.239
<v Speaker 2>you know, what are the things that they're saying that

0:30:33.280 --> 0:30:35.080
<v Speaker 2>they want in their life? Are they after a long

0:30:35.160 --> 0:30:38.040
<v Speaker 2>term relationship? Do the things that you like actually match up?

0:30:38.160 --> 0:30:40.400
<v Speaker 2>And you can make a decision that's not just based

0:30:40.400 --> 0:30:43.040
<v Speaker 2>on like this pure want for someone, but it's also

0:30:43.120 --> 0:30:46.360
<v Speaker 2>based on what is a good relationship decision too.

0:30:46.720 --> 0:30:48.280
<v Speaker 1>The other thing you can do is and I'm not

0:30:48.280 --> 0:30:49.600
<v Speaker 1>saying is the best thing. I'm not saying it's the

0:30:49.640 --> 0:30:52.120
<v Speaker 1>worst thing. But you can write down a list of

0:30:52.120 --> 0:30:54.280
<v Speaker 1>pros and cons. And I don't mean pros and cons

0:30:54.320 --> 0:30:57.000
<v Speaker 1>is in one's taldark and handsome one's blonde? I don't

0:30:57.040 --> 0:30:59.280
<v Speaker 1>mean that. I mean what do you both want?

0:30:59.320 --> 0:30:59.840
<v Speaker 2>What do you want?

0:30:59.840 --> 0:31:01.520
<v Speaker 1>Do you are looking for a long term relationship? Are

0:31:01.560 --> 0:31:05.200
<v Speaker 1>they both looking for long term relationships? If that's the case,

0:31:05.240 --> 0:31:07.080
<v Speaker 1>do you look ahead and you say, do they want kids?

0:31:07.120 --> 0:31:08.520
<v Speaker 1>Are we going to live in the same place? Do

0:31:08.560 --> 0:31:10.560
<v Speaker 1>we want the same things? You can write down parts

0:31:10.560 --> 0:31:12.880
<v Speaker 1>of the situation to help you if you need to.

0:31:13.360 --> 0:31:15.960
<v Speaker 1>But there is a thought, the thought that I'm sort

0:31:15.960 --> 0:31:18.480
<v Speaker 1>of having here is and I looking back, I wish

0:31:18.520 --> 0:31:20.640
<v Speaker 1>I had this thought to myself too. If you're that

0:31:20.640 --> 0:31:23.480
<v Speaker 1>confused between two people, should you be picking someone now?

0:31:23.520 --> 0:31:25.400
<v Speaker 1>Because it does mean you have feelings for someone else.

0:31:25.480 --> 0:31:27.560
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if jumping into a relationship with one

0:31:27.640 --> 0:31:29.680
<v Speaker 1>is the best idea when you know you have strong

0:31:29.720 --> 0:31:31.160
<v Speaker 1>feelings for another person.

0:31:31.240 --> 0:31:34.640
<v Speaker 2>Well, that's what I mean by taking some time, taking

0:31:34.680 --> 0:31:36.960
<v Speaker 2>a bit of a step back from the relationships completely,

0:31:37.000 --> 0:31:39.440
<v Speaker 2>like you know, whatever they are, just take a little

0:31:39.440 --> 0:31:42.600
<v Speaker 2>bit of a step back date casually without there being

0:31:42.720 --> 0:31:45.280
<v Speaker 2>any like you know, the love bombing or the overcommitment

0:31:45.360 --> 0:31:47.200
<v Speaker 2>or any of that stuff that kind of can happen

0:31:47.240 --> 0:31:50.200
<v Speaker 2>really quickly when you're excited about someone because they think

0:31:50.240 --> 0:31:51.640
<v Speaker 2>you need to get to know them both a little

0:31:51.640 --> 0:31:53.520
<v Speaker 2>bit better. Maybe not your friend, you obviously know him,

0:31:53.560 --> 0:31:55.200
<v Speaker 2>but I think you kind of need to have the

0:31:55.240 --> 0:31:58.280
<v Speaker 2>opportunity of dating a little bit before you make a decision,

0:31:58.720 --> 0:32:02.360
<v Speaker 2>because ultimately, if you're so confused between two people, the

0:32:02.440 --> 0:32:04.560
<v Speaker 2>answer could be that it's no one as well. You know,

0:32:04.600 --> 0:32:06.680
<v Speaker 2>it doesn't have to be that you're you're not tossing

0:32:06.760 --> 0:32:08.400
<v Speaker 2>up right now and being like, who am I choosing

0:32:08.440 --> 0:32:11.160
<v Speaker 2>as my life partner? That doesn't have to be the

0:32:11.240 --> 0:32:12.960
<v Speaker 2>question that you're asking. You're just saying, like, who is

0:32:13.000 --> 0:32:14.720
<v Speaker 2>the person that I want to date? And you can

0:32:14.800 --> 0:32:16.080
<v Speaker 2>kind of get to know both of them at the

0:32:16.120 --> 0:32:16.560
<v Speaker 2>same time.

0:32:16.600 --> 0:32:17.960
<v Speaker 1>At the end of the day, this is the sort

0:32:18.000 --> 0:32:20.840
<v Speaker 1>of thing where no one including us, can give you

0:32:20.840 --> 0:32:22.840
<v Speaker 1>an answer. No one can know exactly how you feel,

0:32:22.920 --> 0:32:25.640
<v Speaker 1>your situation and what they're like to you, what you want.

0:32:25.720 --> 0:32:28.040
<v Speaker 1>This is all you. It's not a running race, right,

0:32:28.240 --> 0:32:30.040
<v Speaker 1>there's no You've got to get to the finish line

0:32:30.080 --> 0:32:32.360
<v Speaker 1>and make a decision. By this point, take a step

0:32:32.400 --> 0:32:35.040
<v Speaker 1>back and just really evaluate it from the outside, think

0:32:35.040 --> 0:32:37.720
<v Speaker 1>about what you want, and go from there. It's a

0:32:37.760 --> 0:32:38.320
<v Speaker 1>tricky one.

0:32:38.400 --> 0:32:40.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and I okay, the only thing I want to

0:32:40.240 --> 0:32:42.080
<v Speaker 2>add to this is that, and this is from my

0:32:42.120 --> 0:32:44.760
<v Speaker 2>own experience, may be very different for you. You may

0:32:44.800 --> 0:32:47.000
<v Speaker 2>have like, these two guys may both be just like

0:32:47.400 --> 0:32:52.200
<v Speaker 2>truly awesome people who are like trustworthy and fantastic and

0:32:52.240 --> 0:32:55.240
<v Speaker 2>are being consistent and wonderful, and like, wouldn't that be

0:32:55.320 --> 0:32:57.520
<v Speaker 2>amazing to find two of them? Because most people can't

0:32:57.520 --> 0:33:00.960
<v Speaker 2>find one. But what I have found in my experience

0:33:01.120 --> 0:33:04.560
<v Speaker 2>is that normally there's one that the heart really wants,

0:33:04.720 --> 0:33:07.400
<v Speaker 2>and there's one that the heart finds safe. That's the

0:33:07.480 --> 0:33:10.880
<v Speaker 2>toss up. There's the unpredictable one, and there's the one

0:33:10.920 --> 0:33:14.320
<v Speaker 2>that would be comfortable and a reassuring love. And that's

0:33:14.320 --> 0:33:16.920
<v Speaker 2>why I think what you said, brit around like almost

0:33:16.920 --> 0:33:20.600
<v Speaker 2>creating a list, which sounds so unromantic, but like if

0:33:20.640 --> 0:33:25.280
<v Speaker 2>the unpredictable love is actually truly unpredictable, If it's unpredictable

0:33:25.280 --> 0:33:28.160
<v Speaker 2>because you know, there's inconsistencies in the things that they

0:33:28.200 --> 0:33:31.160
<v Speaker 2>say and do and how they behave, and actually you're

0:33:31.240 --> 0:33:34.360
<v Speaker 2>just being attracted to maybe there's some toxicity there. I

0:33:34.360 --> 0:33:37.040
<v Speaker 2>think writing it down can make things seem really clear,

0:33:37.160 --> 0:33:38.720
<v Speaker 2>and you can kind of get an idea as to

0:33:38.760 --> 0:33:42.200
<v Speaker 2>whether you're just attracted to the chemistry or you're attracted

0:33:42.200 --> 0:33:44.480
<v Speaker 2>to the qualities that that person has. I think that's

0:33:44.480 --> 0:33:47.040
<v Speaker 2>a really important thing. So kind of, like you know,

0:33:47.200 --> 0:33:49.640
<v Speaker 2>psychoanalyze both of them to try and find an answer

0:33:49.680 --> 0:33:51.760
<v Speaker 2>in this as well and not just be led by

0:33:51.800 --> 0:33:55.480
<v Speaker 2>this like chemistry, gut a little. I'm in love can't

0:33:55.520 --> 0:33:58.480
<v Speaker 2>make a good love. I do not want to be

0:33:58.600 --> 0:34:00.640
<v Speaker 2>where you are right now, but you know what, it'll

0:34:00.680 --> 0:34:02.720
<v Speaker 2>all work out, because however it works out is exactly

0:34:02.760 --> 0:34:03.360
<v Speaker 2>how it's meant to be.

0:34:03.440 --> 0:34:06.000
<v Speaker 1>Guys, we would love to hear your ask and cut aftermaths.

0:34:06.040 --> 0:34:08.120
<v Speaker 1>Whatever happened to a question that you've reading or a

0:34:08.160 --> 0:34:10.719
<v Speaker 1>friend reading, Was there an outcome? We want to know

0:34:10.800 --> 0:34:13.720
<v Speaker 1>because sometimes it keeps up at night not knowing what happens.

0:34:14.080 --> 0:34:15.480
<v Speaker 1>A lot of the listeners writing they want to know

0:34:15.520 --> 0:34:17.480
<v Speaker 1>your answers as well. So if we've ever answered a

0:34:17.560 --> 0:34:20.200
<v Speaker 1>question or we've had your question on here and there

0:34:20.280 --> 0:34:23.000
<v Speaker 1>has been in our company, send that into the podcast

0:34:23.040 --> 0:34:25.319
<v Speaker 1>along with your accident un filters, your other asking cut

0:34:25.360 --> 0:34:27.480
<v Speaker 1>questions and anything you want to say, send it to

0:34:27.520 --> 0:34:28.040
<v Speaker 1>the dam.

0:34:28.360 --> 0:34:29.759
<v Speaker 2>And you guys know the drill.

0:34:30.200 --> 0:34:33.080
<v Speaker 1>Tea dog ta friends and share the love because we

0:34:33.280 --> 0:34:33.879
<v Speaker 1>love love