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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the

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Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers.

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Speaker 2: Now, kids make mistakes.

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Speaker 3: People matter, the stuff doesn't. People matter.

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Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, My mum

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Speaker 1: and dad.

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Speaker 2: Hello, this is doctor Justin Coulson. I've written a bunch

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Speaker 2: of books about making families happy, and I'm here with Kylie,

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Speaker 2: mum to our six daughters, and I'm really nervous about

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Speaker 2: today's podcast. I'll Do Better Tomorrow is what we do

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Speaker 2: on a Friday. For those of you who are unfamiliar

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Speaker 2: with I'll Do Better Tomorrow. It's an opportunity for us

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Speaker 2: to reflect on the week that was and talk about

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Speaker 2: how our family could be better as a result of

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Speaker 2: the mistakes that we made, or sometimes what we can

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Speaker 2: take from our successes during the week can be more intentional.

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Speaker 2: Next week, it's a moment of reflection. And this week, well,

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Speaker 2: I didn't do very well, and I've decided that I'm

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Speaker 2: going to come clean about everything that I got wrong.

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Speaker 2: Look at you smiling about this and thinking the parenting

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Speaker 2: expert about to suffer. I'm squirming.

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Speaker 4: What I love about this experience is the reason we

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Speaker 4: actually called this episode I'll Do Better Tomorrow is because

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Speaker 4: one of our favorite children's story books is called by

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Speaker 4: that name, and there is an experience in that story

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Speaker 4: there that we actually we live.

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Speaker 2: We lived it. Let's give you some background actually before

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Speaker 2: we do it. I want to do my old do

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Speaker 2: better tomorrow, So I want to share an experience where

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Speaker 2: I blew it, and then you can. I'm sure that

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Speaker 2: you're going to share the experience where I blew it,

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Speaker 2: but it'll be a different experience every week. With I'll

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Speaker 2: Do Better Tomorrow, I share an experience, Kylie shares an experience.

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Speaker 2: We're pretty sure we know where this is already going, though,

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Speaker 2: because of the experience that we had a quick little

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Speaker 2: bit of a backdrop though, Because the podcast drops at

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Speaker 2: five am, we have to record at least a day

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Speaker 2: or two ahead of time so that you get the

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Speaker 2: podcast on time and you can listen to it when

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Speaker 2: you want to. On Monday morning, we just had Mother's

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Speaker 2: Day and I asked Kylie how Mother's Day had been,

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Speaker 2: And if you are listening closely, you would have noticed

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Speaker 2: that Kylie didn't answer the question at all. Here's what

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Speaker 2: she said, did you have a nice Mother's Day?

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Speaker 4: You know, one of the things that I love about

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Speaker 4: Mother's Day is being able to reflect.

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Speaker 2: And so, Kylie, you never really answered the question, because

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Speaker 2: we recorded it on Friday. I just figured you were

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Speaker 2: going to say, oh, it was great, it was wonderful.

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Speaker 2: I'm so glad, But you didn't do that. You kind

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Speaker 2: I'm pretty grateful that I didn't do that.

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Speaker 4: It would have been because anyone who knows us would

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Speaker 4: have known exactly what I was going on.

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Speaker 2: So anyway, we got through Monday's episode, and it was

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Speaker 2: actually a really beautiful episode because we focused on what

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Speaker 2: the kids had to say about Mother's Day and that

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Speaker 2: great piece that you wrote about your mum. But the

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Speaker 2: real story of what happened on Mother's Day is what

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Speaker 2: our episode of Old Do Better Tomorrow was about today

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Speaker 2: leading into that. Though my story for I'd Do Better

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Speaker 2: Tomorrow is not Mother's Day, it's the night before. So

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Speaker 2: we went out Saturday night with some friends. We went

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Speaker 2: to a fancy restaurant, had a great time with them.

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Speaker 2: Supposed to leave it about eight eight p thirty, get

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Speaker 2: home and be in bed for our usual bedtime of

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Speaker 2: something like nine nine thirty, but we were having such

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Speaker 2: a great time with these friends that we decided to

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Speaker 2: stay out and stay out, and stay out. We walked

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Speaker 2: through the Botanic gardens, looked at some contemporary art installations,

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Speaker 2: went and bought gelato from the Queen Street Mare, wandered

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Speaker 2: around town, and I think we got into bed a

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Speaker 2: little after midnight, which it was pretty late, which isn't

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Speaker 2: good for us. And you were up at five point

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Speaker 2: thirty the next morning, because for those of you who

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Speaker 2: aren't familiar, we go to church on a Sunday and

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Speaker 2: you had a lesson to prepare it forour Mother's Day,

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Speaker 2: So you were out of bed at five point thirty

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Speaker 2: preparing your lesson to teach, which meant that we were

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Speaker 2: living on about five hours of sleep for the night,

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Speaker 2: five and a half hours of sleep. And let's just.

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Speaker 4: Say one of us deals with that a little bit

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Speaker 4: better than the other.

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Speaker 2: And I don't deal with it well at all. Let's

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Speaker 2: just say which one of us it is. I don't

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Speaker 2: cope when I don't get enough sleep, which probably is

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Speaker 2: my take home message, get enough sleep, for you're going

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Speaker 2: to be a really lousy parent when stuff goes wrong

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Speaker 2: as it did. Let's find out why we're talking about

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Speaker 2: Mother's Day for old do better tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: Next, it's the Happy Famili's podcast for.

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Speaker 2: A happier family.

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Speaker 4: Try a Happy Families membership, because a happy family doesn't

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Speaker 4: just happen.

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Speaker 2: Details at happy families dot com dot Au.

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Speaker 4: It's the Happy Family's podcast, the podcast for the time

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Speaker 4: poor parent who just wants answers now, And we are

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Speaker 4: giving you a bird's eye view today of the disaster

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Speaker 4: that was my Mother's Day.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if I actually want to hear the story.

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Speaker 2: I'm still I feel like I'm still traumatized by it.

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Speaker 2: So I'm going to go quiet. And why don't you share,

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Speaker 2: because I've already shared my old do better tomorrow? What

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Speaker 2: was your story, honey?

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Speaker 3: One look, Mother's.

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Speaker 4: Day in the past has been a pretty non event

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Speaker 4: in our house. We've had lots of children, and the

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Speaker 4: kids usually buy me something from the Mother's Day still,

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Speaker 4: and Dally might make me breakfast in bed, or let's

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Speaker 4: be honest, you make me breakfast in bed, and that's

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Speaker 4: about it. And so last year I kind of went,

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Speaker 4: you know, damn it, I want to do something that

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Speaker 4: I can enjoy and one of the things that I

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Speaker 4: do not get to do enough is have a bath.

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Speaker 3: And so I decided that I was going to have.

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Speaker 3: And I was getting a bit frustrated by the.

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Speaker 4: Whole day, and I finally just said, you know what,

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Speaker 4: I can't get angry at them if I've never taught

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Speaker 4: them how to do anything in this area. So I

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Speaker 4: took the seven year old and the ten year old

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Speaker 4: into the bathroom. I filled the bath with bubbles so

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Speaker 4: we were completely covered up, and they each learnt how

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Speaker 4: to give me a facial and a foot scrub, and

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Speaker 4: they did a really, really fantastic job. But this year

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Speaker 4: they decided to up the ante because they included everyone.

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Speaker 4: Everyone got involved, and they decided that they had this

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Speaker 4: wonderful plan. So I came home from church and there

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Speaker 4: was a towel on my bed, a clean.

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Speaker 3: Towel al ready to go with a chocolate because I

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Speaker 3: love my chocolate. And I was.

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Speaker 4: Told that I was going to have my very own

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Speaker 4: day spar experience at home.

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Speaker 2: I can't help myself. I have to jump in. I

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Speaker 2: also let the kids know last year that they're all

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Speaker 2: big enough to look after you for Mother's Day, that

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Speaker 2: it shouldn't be my responsibility. I'm a son to my mum,

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Speaker 2: and I need to make sure that I'm in touch

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Speaker 2: with marm and give her a nice Mother's Day. But

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Speaker 2: they're responsible for your Mother's Day, not me. So I

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Speaker 2: still went and bought all the groceries and made sure

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Speaker 2: that they had what they needed for a nice Mother's

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Speaker 2: Day for you. But it's totally on them. Oh and

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Speaker 2: also at Happy Families on the Facebook page, we gave

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Speaker 2: away Me and My Mum a booklet for kids to

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Speaker 2: color in and answer all the questions about so that

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Speaker 2: they could make Mum feel special on Mother's Day. So

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Speaker 2: the kids did that, but ultimately I'm handballing it to them,

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Speaker 2: and that's how things probably went wrong.

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Speaker 4: Well, what I loved was they actually had all got involved.

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Speaker 4: They had a plan, they each had a role in

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Speaker 4: that plan, and they were going to give me an

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Speaker 4: experience to remember.

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Speaker 3: And I think that they did that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think they did.

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Speaker 3: So it started with a bath.

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Speaker 2: Actually, no, that's kind of where it ended. Kind of Actually,

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Speaker 2: I probably need to jump in here as well, because

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Speaker 2: the long and the short of it is that one

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Speaker 2: of the kids was running the bath so that they

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Speaker 2: could give you a special bath, and then they were

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Speaker 2: going to massage you on the massage table. And they

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Speaker 2: filled the bath and forgot that they were running it,

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Speaker 2: and it overflowed. And it didn't just overflow. I think

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Speaker 2: it overflowed for probably about thirty or forty minutes, multiple

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Speaker 2: bath tubs full of water flow.

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Speaker 4: The bathtub is at the other end of the house.

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Speaker 4: We were all at one end of the house and

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Speaker 4: they were at the other end of the house. They'd

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Speaker 4: started the bath and then just walked away pretty much.

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Speaker 2: And so the water has flowed into the downstairs TV

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Speaker 2: room and we've got a there's a media projects it's

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Speaker 2: gone through.

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Speaker 3: The floor cavity.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's gone into the ceiling. It's gone into the

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Speaker 2: ceiling downstairs, and we've got an a media projector in

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Speaker 2: that room that was there when we bought the house.

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Speaker 2: It's never worked. We have no idea how to make

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Speaker 2: it work. And it's an old junkie thing that they

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Speaker 2: probably paid one hundred bucks for an eBay. But it

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Speaker 2: was barely hanging onto the ceiling because so much water

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Speaker 2: had come through the floor into the ceiling that the

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Speaker 2: ceiling was so sodden that the screws were falling through.

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Speaker 2: The Water was literally pouring through the light fixtures. It

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Speaker 2: was pouring out of the hole for the projector. I

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Speaker 2: went down the next day and I can put I

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Speaker 2: could push my fingers through the jip rock above the

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Speaker 2: door because there was so much water that went through there.

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Speaker 2: There's insulation bats in the ceiling. They're probably to dampen

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Speaker 2: the noise between the two levels of the house, and

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Speaker 2: they're sodden. They've absorbed. I reckon four bath tubs full

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Speaker 2: of water in the time that that bath kept on running.

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Speaker 2: So one of the kids alerted us to it by

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Speaker 2: stepping into the inland lake downstairs and saying, the floors

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Speaker 2: went down here, why And that's when one of the

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Speaker 2: kids has gone, oh, no, the bath. We've never had

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Speaker 2: this happen before. And then you wanted to come down

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Speaker 2: and see it, and I almost tackled you on the stairs.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, no, it's Mother's Day. You're going to stay

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Speaker 2: up here and you're going to have a good time. Well,

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Speaker 2: I go downstairs and deal with this. I mean, it

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Speaker 2: really put a dampener on our mother's day.

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Speaker 4: It all happened just as Chanelle was putting lunch on

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Speaker 4: the table, so there was a lot of chaos going on,

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Speaker 4: and I just you were very adamant that I was

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Speaker 4: not going downstairs, and so I thought, I'm just gonna

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Speaker 4: have to make the best of this. So we sat

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Speaker 4: down all the girls because you and Jared had on downstairs.

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Speaker 2: When Jared walked up the stairs, so Jared's his son

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Speaker 2: in law by the way.

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Speaker 4: An hour or so later, he looked like he'd had

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Speaker 4: a shower in his clothes. He was dripping, his hair

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Speaker 4: was wet. I really can't I can't even begin to

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Speaker 4: imagine what you guys had walked into.

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Speaker 2: I'm not even kidding. It was an when I say

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Speaker 2: an inland lake that Fortunately the floor is tiled, but

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Speaker 2: the water was in great puddles across the entire thing.

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Speaker 2: We had to take the lounge out, we had to

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Speaker 2: take the coffee table out, We had to take all

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Speaker 2: of the furniture out. There was I think we soaked

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Speaker 2: at least thirty towels full of water. Not to mention

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Speaker 2: that we were using the mop and the bucket and

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Speaker 2: the sponges. Like the water was covering the walls. It

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Speaker 2: was everywhere, which is why the builder has told us

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Speaker 2: that we need to replace the ceilings in the walls.

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Speaker 3: So I ended up having a very cold bath.

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Speaker 4: Because all the water, the hot water got used to

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Speaker 4: the water, and I sat in there and tried to

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Speaker 4: be calm and relaxed while I had a mani facial

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Speaker 4: and a foot scrub right and then meantime the washing

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Speaker 4: machines wearing right next door. The door was being opened

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Speaker 4: and closed and slammed.

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Speaker 2: It was pretty stinky in there. I don't know what.

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Speaker 2: You came out smelling like they had.

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Speaker 4: Three different candles scented, not just normal candles scented, three

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Speaker 4: different scented candles burning in the tiny bathroom space. And

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Speaker 4: from there I was ushered out of the bathroom and

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Speaker 4: into one of the bedrooms where they had set up

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Speaker 4: the massage table so I could have a massage.

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Speaker 2: So that's about when I came upstairs from cleaning downstairs,

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Speaker 2: and there was twelve sets of hands massaging different parts

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Speaker 2: of your body. So I've climbed under the massage table

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Speaker 2: so I could laugh at you while you laughed at

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Speaker 2: me because of what I just had to deal with downstairs.

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Speaker 2: And I just remember they had that nice, calming massage

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Speaker 2: music on and the room smelt kind of nice ish

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Speaker 2: in a weird way.

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Speaker 4: I don't know how much strawberry moose they stuck on

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Speaker 4: my body But.

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Speaker 2: What was the funniest was that the kids, like, a

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Speaker 2: massage is supposed to be relaxing, and all I can

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Speaker 2: hear is the kids whacking each other's hand, saying, that's

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Speaker 2: my part. You do a lot of pet men. You

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Speaker 2: can't message that pattern, that's my part to massage.

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Speaker 4: At one point I said to Annie, are you supposed

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Speaker 4: to be relaxing me? She was like, oh, Mom, what

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Speaker 4: am I doing wrong?

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Speaker 2: It was like a distinct and significant form of a

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Speaker 2: new form of torture. Just get six girls some massage. Mum.

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Speaker 3: Look, I'm looking for it.

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Speaker 2: I'm looking to the future.

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Speaker 4: Right in a few years time, this twelve pounded massage

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Speaker 4: is going to be delightful. But as we're learning, there's

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Speaker 4: a lot to learn.

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Speaker 2: So we had a cold lunch that was supposed to

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Speaker 2: be hot. We had at least one daughter who was

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Speaker 2: bailing her eyes out because first of all, I was

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Speaker 2: pretty cranky and she knew it. And while I tried

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Speaker 2: not to take it out on her, I kind of

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Speaker 2: did a little bit, but she just felt so bad

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Speaker 2: and she was bailing her eyes out while you were

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Speaker 2: trying to get a massage, mind you, as well as

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Speaker 2: through lunch screaming kids, a flooded TV room.

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Speaker 3: A cold bath, a gold that was probably the worst

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Speaker 3: part of my day.

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Speaker 2: A cold bath. So what's the take home message for this?

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Speaker 2: I'll do better tomorrow because that sounds like a really

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Speaker 2: big SOB story.

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Speaker 4: Look, I think there's a couple of things that we

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Speaker 4: can learn from this, and one of them is just

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Speaker 4: recognizing that while children have wonderful ideas, it doesn't really

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Speaker 4: matter how old they are, they probably just need a

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Speaker 4: little bit of supervision.

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Speaker 2: Oh you putting this hard on me. I can't believe

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Speaker 2: you're putting it back on me. Gosh, I've told the kids,

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Speaker 2: look after mum, how hard can it be to switch

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Speaker 2: off the damn bath? Sure? Okay, bit of extra supervision,

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Speaker 2: I get. You know what my take home message is

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Speaker 2: other than make sure that because I reckon, we would

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Speaker 2: have dealt with it much better if we had more

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Speaker 2: than five hours of sleep. I think that that would

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Speaker 2: have helped. But my take home message listening to that

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Speaker 2: story and reflecting across the week is we were kids

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Speaker 2: one as well, and we've all done stuff that's upset people.

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Speaker 2: Flooded houses, broken windows, left freezers open, and defrosted meat

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Speaker 2: like kids make mistakes.

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Speaker 3: People matter. This stuff doesn't. People matter?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, So when I'm paying the builder for replacing

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Speaker 2: our walls and ceiling, I'll look at my daughter and

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Speaker 2: say that her people matter, things don't.

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Speaker 3: It's a good ceiling.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

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Speaker 2: We hope that your mother's day was eventful and memorable, just.

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Speaker 3: Like it's not as eventful as our.

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Speaker 2: It's just not like ours. And we really appreciate the

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Speaker 2: fact that you listen to the podcast, and we hope

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Speaker 2: that it's helpful for you and for your family. He

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Speaker 2: next week, we've got some really interesting conversations coming up

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Speaker 2: on the podcast. We'll be having our third conversation with

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Speaker 2: Jessica Lay, the author of the New York Times bestseller

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Speaker 2: of The Gift of Failure. This one will be about

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Speaker 2: her brand new book about mummies drinking. Should be quite fascinating.

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Speaker 2: Also a follow up to a conversation we had a

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Speaker 2: few weeks about paying kids to do well at sports.

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Speaker 2: As some parents are doing podcasts at Happy Families dot

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Speaker 2: com dot you. There's been a lot of feedback on

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Speaker 2: that one and a request that we talk about body

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Speaker 2: image from Michelle who said that her eight year old

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Speaker 2: daughter is saying that she's fat, and she's not quite

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Speaker 2: sure what to do to be helpful, so please join

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Speaker 2: us for the podcast next week. The Happy Famili's podcast

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Speaker 2: is produced by Justin Rhan from Bridge Media and Craig

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Speaker 2: Bruce is our executive producer. If you'd like morefo especially

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Speaker 2: about our memberships and how we can help your family

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Speaker 2: to be happier, we'd love for you to check out

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Speaker 2: all the details at happyfamilies dot com, dot a